HOUSTON BAPTIST UNIVERSITY

EMIL CIORAN’S SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS

SUBMITTED TO

DR. RUSSEL HEMATI

PHIL 3344

BY

JOEL G. BURDEAUX

HOUSTON, TEXAS

APRIL 30, 2010

 Emil Cioran’s Search for Happiness

For in much wisdom is much vexation,

and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
Ecclesiastes 1:181

Even a cursory reading of Emil Cioran’s short book, On the Heights of Despair, will

reveal a profound sadness, and one meets in it’s pages, a young man who seems to desire

anything other than happiness. Cioran is an exercise (as most of us are) in dichotomy and

contradiction. He dreams about death, and even suicide, and writes of his longing to die, yet he

lived to the very ripe old age of eighty-four. He espouses that suffering bravely and alone in the

face of death is the ideal way for a human to exist,2 yet he publishes multiple volumes to

maintain communication with humanity, even if one-sided. What is the driving force behind such

dichotomy? What, if anything, is he looking for? What, if anything, is he trying to communicate

through On the Heights of Despair? And, the question that the title begs is how in the world is

Cioran seeking happiness?

I will be using the following method to analyze and build my thesis: First, I will discover,

from Cioran himself, what the thesis of Despair is. Second, I will compare this thesis with one of

Pascal’s most brilliant thoughts.3 Third, I’ll enlist the expertise of both C. S. Lewis and John

Piper to help guide us toward an application of Pascal’s thought to Cioran’s work.

1
All scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, Holy Bible: English Standard Version Study Bible. Leicester,
England: Crossway Books, 2008.
2
Cioran, E.M.. On the Heights of Despair (Quartet Encounters). Northampton: Interlink Publishing Group Inc,
1995. (6)
3
The title of the Pascal book I’ll be quoting from is Pensees, which is translated as “Thoughts”.

2
 3

Finally, in the closing section will address Cioran directly. I appreciate the dialog he has

opened in writing On the Heights of Despair, and I feel as if we have become friends. As

(hopefully) his friend, I will break form by writing back, in letter format, and address a couple of

the topics and problems he addresses in an attempt to help a fellow traveler on this rock called

Earth.

PART ONE: CIORAN

On the Heights of Despair is the quintessential Hyper-Modern4 text. Cioran abandons all

previous models of doing philosophy, and even calls down curses on those who all philosophers,

saying that “they should be all wiped out,” 5 and claims that their chosen profession of looking

for truth is pointless, since “truth cannot be.”6 Yet, while mocking Descartes7, Cioran begins to

build his own Hyper-Modern thesis.

“I am: therefore the world is meaningless.”8

This simple sentence reveals volumes about the inner workings of Cioran’s Modernist

methods and mind-set. He is thoroughly indoctrinated into Modernism to the degree that he finds

himself trapped by the ever-increasing self-awareness that this method of self-intuition promotes.

Perhaps a brief historical glimpse of Modernist philosophy leading up to Cioran would be

helpful at this point. We’ll look at two philosophers previous to Cioran, and show how he is

4
I use the term Hyper-Modern instead of the more popular, and maybe politically correct, Post-Modern
intentionally. As I’ll further develop in this paper, Cioran does not move beyond Modernism and into a new
philosophical system, but rather takes the Modernist Cartesian Project to its logical end, therefore staying
completely within the limits and bounds of Cartesian Modernism, even while rejecting it wholesale.
5
Cioran. Despair (87)
6
Ibid
7
An obvious mockery of Descartes’ famous idiom, I think, therefore I am.
8
Cioran. Despair (14)
 4

trapped in their philosophical system. The first, and most obvious is Descartes. Descartes’

idiomatic “I think, therefore I am” was the foundation upon which Modernism was built. For the

first time, we had the ontological moxie to start with our own existence, instead of something

outside of ourselves, to build a system of thought upon.

Further development of the Cartesian Project9 was undertaken by a German philosopher

named Schelling. He was unhappy with how quickly Descartes came to say I think, therefore I

am, because it assumed too much. For Schelling, the foundation that philosophy should be built

upon was not the realization of the self, but the self’s ability to stop and intuit itself at any time.

This intuiting became Schelling’s foundation (see fig. 1).

This may seem a tedious distinction; yet, it is crucial for understanding the despair Cioran

found himself in. Descartes’ self, represented by just the eye in fig. 1 is happy. It is self-realizing,

and looking out onto a world that is ripe with information to take in. But, Schelling’s self is now

turning its gaze upon itself, and it is here that young Cioran finds himself trapped; in a never-

ending, and inescapable loop of self-intuition, no longer able to take in outside data in any

meaningful way. No wonder he cries out I am: therefore the world is meaningless! What else can

he say when all he is able to see is himself? For Cioran, the world has stopped. It has become

9
The term Cartesian Project simply refers to the project begun by Descartes to throw out all prior knowledge and
begin to do philosophy from scratch. The foundation was Descartes’ definition of the self.
 5

something he only vaguely remembers, and can no longer participate in. The final product of the

Cartesian Project is Cioran mourning that he “can only live at the beginning or the end of this

world,”10 because he is unable to reenter it. He finds himself barely existing as a palindrome. He

is the proverbial snakehead eating the head on the opposite side. He is consuming himself. He

mourns his inability to retrace his steps11, because the process of self intuiting self played

backward is still self intuiting self.

To Cioran, this is a loss of innocence12. He sees this knowledge as a curse that ruins one

for meaningful existence because re-entry into the world of the naïve is impossible. He writes,

“To possess a high degree of consciousness, to be always aware of yourself in relation to the

world, to live in the permanent tension of knowledge, means to be lost for life. Knowledge is the

plague of life, and consciousness, an open wound in its heart.”13 If knowledge is the plague of

life, then “naiveté is the only road to salvation. But for those who feel and conceive life as a long

agony, the question of salvation is a simple one. There is no salvation on their road.”14

No salvation, save suicide. Cioran approaches obsession with suicide and death in

Despair. Since the life of innocence is now cut off to him, he sees that his only remaining option

is to be the hero. As the hero, he has been “severed from life, incapable of fulfillment and

happiness,” so he now aspires to “absolute triumph. But such triumphs come only through

death.” He must transcend life, and make the “fatal leap into nothingness.”15

10
Cioran. Despair (90)
11
Cioran. Despair (43)
12
Cioran. Despair (46)
13
Cioran. Despair (43) emphasis in original
14
Cioran. Despair (25)
15
Cioran. Despair (46-7)
 6

PART TWO: PASCAL’S HEDONISM

Blaise Pascal, the 17th century Catholic philosopher, wrote a rather simple thought that

helps unravel the mystery that is Cioran.

All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they
employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going off to war, and of others
avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes
the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of
those who hang themselves.16

Pascal’s language is absolute; all men seek happiness… they all tend to this end…. This

is the motive of every man… even of those who hang themselves. I admit my initial complete

acceptance of this proposal by Pascal, but I still find no reason to doubt its accuracy. Cioran’s

writing actually strengthened my opinion that Pascal was correct, despite the gloomy nature of

his work. In fact, Pascal seems to anticipate a Cioran… a man who has lost his innocence, and

has now found himself cut-off, disintegrated, and in despair. While Pascal writes about fallen

man in general, Cioran, being a fallen man, is accurately described.

There once was in man a true happiness (innocence) of which now remain to him only
the mark and empty trace, which in vain he tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking
from things absent the help he does not obtain from things present. But these are all
inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable
object, that is to say, only by God Himself.17

16
Pascal, Blaise. Pensees (Thoughts). New York: Digireads.Com, 2005. (113, thought #425)
17
Ibid
 7

According to Biblical narrative, the reason Cioran feels cursed is because he is cursed.

Consider the story of the fall from Genesis 3. God had instructed Adam and Eve not to eat from

the tree of life, nor from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the
eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate,
and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of
both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. (Genesis 3:6-7)

The apostle Paul explains the result of this act of disobedience in the book of Romans

when he says that all of “creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who

subjected it.”18 Because we obtained knowledge we are all under a curse, and subject to futility.

Cioran seems to be hyper-aware of this reality. Yet, he rejects Pascal’s analysis outright saying

that the idea that knowledge is sin is a myth.19 Like many Hyper-Modernists, Cioran seems to

reject Christianity precisely because it is Christianity. Confusing the Gospel with a call to

morality and self-denial, Cioran confesses that he hates Christianity, even going so far as saying,

“I hate Jesus for his preachings, his morality, his ideas, and his faith,”20 and he refuses to seek to

build a life based on the death of Christ, stating that “if anybody had died so that I could be

happy, then I would be even more unhappy, because I do not want to build my life on a grave

yard.”21 Then, in a loud boast of antinomianism, he proclaims, “morality can only make life a

long series of missed opportunities.”22

18
Romans 8:20
19
Cioran. Despair (77)
20
Cioran. Despair (96-7)
21
Cioran. Despair (33)
22
Cioran. Despair (63)
 8

There seems to be a lack of communication between Cioran and Pascal at this point.

Pascal wants Cioran to find the one true source of fulfillment and happiness, yet Cioran wants to

insist that “truth cannot be.”23

PART THREE: FURTHER UP AND FARTHER IN

C. S. Lewis, as an ex-Atheist, wants to push back against Cioran’s rejection of

Christianity by appealing to Cioran’s desires. Lewis believed that we were given unsatisfiable

desires that nothing this side of eternity is capable of satisfying, much like Cioran, but Lewis’

appeal is to joy.

If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly
to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from
Kant and the stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the
unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the
Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We
are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite
joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum
because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far
too easily pleased.24

Our desires are too weak? Could this be what Cioran’s problem is? Is Cioran making

mud pies, while infinite joy is offered him? Is his dis-satisfaction with this world meant to guide

him toward this joy? Lewis would answer yes. John Piper says that “the great problem of human

beings is that they are far too easily pleased. They don’t seek pleasure (happiness) with nearly

23
Cioran. Despair (87)
24
Lewis, C. S.. The Weight of Glory. New Ed ed. SanFrancisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2001. (1-2) emphasis added
 9

the resolve and passion that they should.”25 But, Cioran argues, saying, “you offer us this joy; but

how can we receive it from the outside? As long as it does not spring up from our inner

resources, help from the outside is quite useless. How easy it is to recommend joy to those who

cannot be joyful!”26

Cioran insists that he cannot ever be happy again. The path to unhappiness “is the path of

no return. From being happy, one can become unhappy,” but, “all efforts to attain happiness, on

the other hand, are entirely futile.”27 Interestingly, though, Cioran, in a moment of particular

torment cries out, “Should the gates of Eden be closed to me forever? I have not yet found their

key.”28 Jesus Christ Himself pleads with Cioran at this point saying, “I am the way, and the truth,

and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me,”29 and “I am the [gate]. If anyone

enters by me, he will be saved,”30 but I digress. The point is that even the seemingly rock-hard

and determined Cioran, in a moment of weakness, is willing to admit that he is seeking Eden.

He’s seeking innocence. He’s seeking happiness.

Cioran’s search for happiness led him to the place in which death and suicide became

viable means toward attaining that happiness. John Piper points out that “no man in this world

hates his own flesh in the ultimate sense of choosing what he is sure will produce the greater

misery. This has been the conclusion of many great knowers of the human heart.”31 Seemingly

willing to concede that maybe suicide is not the appropriate solution to his problem, Cioran still

insists that something radical and life altering must take place within him before re-entry into the

25
Piper, John. Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. Revised and Expanded ed. Sisters: Multnomah
Books, 2003. (20) emphasis added
26
Cioran. Despair (72)
27
Cioran. Despair (117)
28
Cioran. Despair (72)
29
John 14:6
30
John 10:9
31
Piper, Desiring God (207)
 10

world is possible. “I would like to go mad,” he writes, “on one condition, namely, that I would

become a happy madman, lively and always in good mood, without any troubles and obsessions,

laughing senselessly from morning to night.”32

Emil Cioran wants to be happy. He’s just convinced that it’s not possible for him.

PART FOUR: DEAR EMIL

Dear Emil,

First, let me express my appreciation for your book On the Heights of Despair. It was, at times,
like a stake through my heart. There were times when your writing was so familiar to me, that I
would almost accuse you of stealing pages from my own journal from years past, if not for the
brilliance and poetic nature of your prose.

By way of introduction, let me give you a brief glimpse into my life. While not the son of a
minister like you, I was raised in a “Christian” home, and I was expected to do as my father, and
his father before him, had done, which was base my life upon the teachings of Jesus Christ, who
somehow died “for me” almost two thousand years ago. Like you, I found the whole proposition
silly, and even offensive to my intelligence. In fact, after a brief struggle, I declared myself to be
an atheist, having no belief in God, gods, or the supernatural. In 1991, an American rock band
named Live released a song titled Operation Spirit. The lyrics seemed to sum up my feelings
about Christianity quite nicely.

Heard a lot of talk about this Jesus

A man of love, a man of strength
But what a man was 2000 years ago
Means nothing at all to me today
He could have been telling me about my higher self
But he only lives inside my prayer
So what he was may have been beautiful
But the pain is right now and right here

I’m sure that, based on my understanding of your book, you would find this song to also capture
your feelings on the subject accurately.

By now, you have no doubt figured out why I am writing you. But, please continue reading.
You’re correct in assuming that, since all of the biography I have provided is past tense, those
statements no longer describe me. But, I don’t write to simply quote some scripture, or to tell you
to repent or perish. Instead, I want to address a couple of specific passages from your book in

32
Cioran. Despair (21)
 11

light of where I have been, as well as from the standpoint of who I am now. The purpose… to
propose a third option. You seem to be saying in Despair that it is impossible for you to re-enter
into the world in any meaningful way, and that you are faced with either suicide/death, or
madness.

Bear with me as I try to propose this third way.

First, let me commend and encourage you. Not many people are willing to admit that they are
profoundly unsatisfied. We live in a world that will sell you many things to consume and amuse
yourself with. But, in the final analysis, they don’t satisfy, nor do they have the potential to
satisfy. I appreciate you honesty in finding nothing in this world satisfying. You get to the root of
the problem by reminding us that none of these things can save us from what we fear most…
death. Instead, you want to stare death in the face, and live in that tension that comes from the
appreciation of knowing that you might die at any moment. This is a brave stance… lonely, but
brave. As you well know, not many are willing to take even the first step toward living in this
manner. We all know that these things in this world are fake, but we pretend to be satisfied
nonetheless. At the very least, keep your eyes glued on somewhere just past the horizon… don’t
settle for anything temporal.

But, as someone who thinks I get you… meaning that I am pretty certain that I have felt most of
the things you feel, and that I can relate to what you are saying… I am going to call your bluff. I
don’t buy it. When you espouse that dying alone, away from society is the ideal way of life for
someone who cannot reenter society because you have become unhappy, what I see is a man
who desperately wants to be happy… a man who longs for human interaction and meaningful
existence… but has become convinced that those things are not available to him. Why do I say
this? Because of statements like, “Should the gates of Eden be closed to me forever? I have not
yet found their key.” Are you still looking? I hope you are, friend. I call your bluff because I
don’t think you would have published this book if you truly believed that. A man who really
believes these things would have disappeared long ago. But, here you are, communicating with
humanity, laying yourself bare, and begging for someone to take notice.

I noticed.

You are not alone, brother. I’ll admit that life does not just feel harsh… it is harsh. This world is
a cruel, uncaring, violent, and cursed place. It is full of injustice, pain, and meaninglessness. But,
despite your disgust when someone dies for another, that is exactly what happened. The Gospel,
which you place within the confines of mythology and morality, is the simple idea that God
Himself, in the person of Jesus Christ, became human, lived the life we were designed to live,
and then took on all of the world’s sin, violence, injustice, and pain upon Himself, bearing the
full wrath of God in our place. He took our place. He was punished for us. You are right when
you say that He was killed. Our sin was placed on Him by God, and then God killed him, when
we were the ones who deserved it.

This is not new to you, I’m sure, with you being the child of a minister, but what you might have
missed is how this Gospel directly speaks to your longing for meaningful existence in this world.
When we believe the Gospel, not only is our sin credited to Christ, but the perfect life He lived is
 12

credited to us. We are remade. We become new creations. God sends His Spirit to indwell us,
and grant us the power to live the life Jesus lived… the life we were meant to live.
This is good news for you, my friend, because in one sense, you are absolutely correct. It is only
through death or radical transformation (you call it madness) that one can reenter the world once
you have lost your innocence. That’s why the New Testament frequently equates conversion as a
kind of death. It is death to self. You are trapped in an unending cycle of self-intuiting-self that
binds you to a place of hovering above the world, only able to take part in the beginning or the
end of the world, but an escape is death to self. This is not a physical death, but a death by faith,
in which you are crucified with Christ, and then, just like He was, raised to walk a new life.

It is possible for you, Emil Cioran, to die to self, and reenter the world with a new life… a life of
purpose… a life of meaning. Die to yourself by trusting Christ.

Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.
(Ephesians 5:14)

Once again, I appreciate that you have taken the time to share yourself with the world. Thank
you for taking the time to let me interact with you.

Your friend,

Joel G. Burdeaux
 13

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Cioran, E.M.. On the Heights of Despair (Quartet Encounters). Northampton: Interlink

Publishing Group Inc, 1995.

Lewis, C. S.. The Weight of Glory. New Ed ed. SanFrancisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2001.

Pascal, Blaise. Pensees (Thoughts). New York: Digireads.Com, 2005.

Piper, John. Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. Revised and Expanded ed.
Sisters: Multnomah Books, 2003.