Running head: PAPER 1

Paper 1
Kelsey Nerland
Seattle University
STMC 5210 Relationship and Pastoral Therapy in a Multicultural Context
Professor Jeney Park-Hearn, Ph.D.
April 13, 2016

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Paper 1

I am currently in the Student Development Administration Masters program at Seattle

University, and will be graduating with my M.Ed. in June 2016. With that being said, I am not in
the therapy profession, nor am I in the School of Theology and Ministry. However, as a student
affairs professional, I have the wonderful opportunity to advise and mentor student leaders in
Seattle University Dance Marathon and Student Government at Seattle University. My role as an
advisor allows me to holistically advise students; my experience in counseling courses and
STMC courses have helped me become a better advisor. I enjoy having deep relationships with
the students I mentor and advise, and enjoy supporting, challenging, and encouraging them
spiritually, personally, emotionally, and academically.
My love for student affairs derives from having great relationships with student affairs
professionals at my undergraduate college, Azusa Pacific University. I was extremely involved as
an undergraduate student, as I was an alpha (orientation) leader, a Young Life leader, a living
area council leader, a marketing intern for Communiversity, an omega committee leader, an
event planner for my South Africa study abroad cohort, and a volunteer on mission trips to South
Korea, Haiti, and South Africa. Leadership felt like my niche. I developed lasting relationships
with student affairs professionals in each of those positions who encouraged me to go into the
field. It was such a powerful experience for me to hear multiple student affairs professionals
who I loved and respectedcall out that in me. My mentors stimulated my growth and they
empowered me in my leadership style. They were present with me in the good times and the bad
times, and supported me every step of the way. They gave me new perspectives, and they
challenged me to think critically. I believe student affairs professionals and therapists are a lot
alikethey help shed light on peoples situations, strengths, and areas for development. Similar

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to counseling, once I get to know my student and develop trust with them, I am able to guide,
challenge, and empower them.
I enjoy empowering others because I was empowered by my culture to step up as a
leader. I grew up in a Caucasian, Southern California, middle-class family that always supported
me by telling me I could do anything I put my mind to. I realize the privilege that comes along
with a mindset of having access and opportunity to anything. Failure was out of the question
because my father was very high achieving. With a bachelors degree in finance and a masters
degree in business administration, my dad was a very successful consultant. He always
encouraged my sister, Courtney, and I to succeed at everything we did. Growing up, my dads
family had a family business where my dad was managing the company at a young age. He
learned the value of hard work, and encouraged my sister and I that if we worked hard enough,
we could accomplish anything. My mom, a former community college student who graduated
from San Diego State University with a bachelors degree in sales, was very well liked and was
always my supportive cheerleader. Courtney and I were clearly set up for success at an early age.
My environment, however, tried to convince me that I was not good enough to amount to
anything. My American cultured-elementary school perpetuated social standards where being
short statured and needing glasses at an early age was an easy target for bullying. Alongside with
being a tomboy and rejecting societys socialized perceptions of what it meant to be a girl (e.g.
love the color pink, horses, and dresses), I always felt like I was different because I loved
skateboarding, cargo pants, sports, and bugs. I was bullied, physically abused, emotionally
manipulated, and was often purposely left out by friends and classmates. I made everything seem
like I was okay on the outside because my Orange County culture subconsciously taught me to
make everything look good on the outside and suppress the negative; however, I remember
coming home from school crying and sitting with my mom while she counseled me.

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As a junior higher, I decided that I wanted to stand up for myself. I wanted to channel my
energetic, outspoken, attention-seeking, and rebellious behavior and transform into someone who
helped other people that thought they were not good enough. I joined Associated Student Body
(ASB) at my public middle school, and I believe that is where my love for student affairs
developed. From that point on, I identified myself as a leader, and I still carry that identity with
me everywhere I go. That word has empowered me to live beyond my potential, develop selfawareness and resiliency, to step up even when I feel unqualified, and invite people to be the
hero in their own story. I was privileged to have women leaders in my life who encouraged me in
my leadership abilities. I never felt unqualified for leadership positions because I was a woman
because I was always stubborn, resilient, and always felt the need to prove people wrong. In
college, my eyes were opened to societys glaring male dominance in leadership positions.
The student affairs field is dominated with males in superior leadership roles. As I move
forward in our field, I cannot help but to notice how many males dominate president, provost,
dean, and director positions. An anxiety that I have is that I will stay comfortable in my roles,
and that I will not push myself and challenge myself to rise above the social expectation. A
current anxiety is that I am faced with on a daily basis is that I am young and that I am not much
older than the students I am serving. I am anxious if they see me too much as a friend, and not
enough as their advisor. It is a strange tension I live in as a graduate coordinator; however, I am
excited to get a job after graduating in June 2016 to be able to press into my new role.
My hope as a student affairs professional is that I can holistically cultivate student leaders
and maximize their potential by challenging, empowering, supporting, and encouraging them
emotionally, spiritually, morally, and mentally in daily walks. I hope to build deep, lasting
relationships with my students; and I want to be able to call out good qualities in them. I want to

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help them grow and learn, and want to empower them as leaders in their personal and
professional lives.
As a Christian, white, cis-gender female, heterosexual, out-of-state, traditional student, I
recognize the large amounts of privilege I have in a systematically corrupt society that prefers
certain identities over others. I believe I can use my privilege for good instead of being in denial
or feeling guilty about it. I can use my privileged identities in a privilege-dominating school to
help my students build self and social awareness, to learn from marginalized communities, to
make sure there is fair representations in perspective when making decisions, and to make sure
everyone feels heard and supported. I want to be able to ask my students questions that will
cause them to come up with their own answers and reflections instead of telling them how they
should think. I want to create a culture that stewards grace well and realizes the common thread
of similarities that unite us, instead of focus on our differencesas our corrupt society teaches
us. I want to listen and learn just as much as my students listen and learn because there is a lot I
can learn from my students. An area of growth I am developing is my multicultural competency
I am still working out that muscle. The muscle is growing stronger each day, but it takes
intentional work and a lot of humility. It is frustrating not to have all of the answers, as I realize
that I am a huge people pleaser and just want to get things right so I do not offend people in the
process. However, I remind myself that I need to give grace to myself just as much as I give it
out to others.
Overall, I am so enthusiastic to be involved in the student affairs field in this day and age.
The culture of student affairs is always changing, and with a huge desire for social justice in
higher education, I am excited to be a part of the movement for a more socially just world filled
with equal access and opportunity for all. I have a lot to learn, but I am ready to learn.

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