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MarissaMondin
Instructor:MalcolmCampbell
English1103
April12th2016

HandheldTechnology:AidingourRelationshipsorDestroyingThem?
Sheneverhaditall,butshewashappywithwhatshehad,thoughtherewasalways
somethingthatseemedtobemissing.Astimewentonshebattledsickness,loss,andadulthood,
onlytofindthemissingpieceshehadsearchedfor,foryears.Shehadfinallyfoundhimandhe
hadfoundher,inthemostimperfectlyperfectsense.Everythingwasgolden;everythingwas
happy.Withintheyearsofjoyandgrowththeystayed,onlytobefacedwithanewchallenge;
thisonetheydfacetogether:shewasgoingtocollege.Theirlovewasstrongandtheirhearts
madlyconnectedthroughthetimestheysharedandthelifetheyhadmadetogether,butshewas
onherownnow.Shewasinaplaceofuncertainty,withherconfidenceintheheartofherhome,
andtheloveofhimatadistance.Throughthemonthsshestruggled.Shestruggledto
understand,togrow,toadapt,andtokeepwhatshehadinherrootsathome.Whenthetimes
weretough,theywereheartbreaking.Unbearable.ShewantednothingmorethantobeHometo
seehisfacenotonascreenandhiswordsnotencodedinamessage.
Theybattledmiscommunicationthroughtextmessageandassumption,slowly
diminishingthelovetheyoncemutuallyshared.Theywerebeingbrokenapartandwithinthe
touchonatouchscreenitallended.Amessageofstupidityfollowedbyaresponseofutter
shockhewasgone.Atwoyearlonglove,challengedbydistance,affectedbyherneedfor

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interaction,destroyedbymiscommunicationandunderstanding.Gone.Theirlovewasnowat
shamblesandatanendwithhelpfromtherelianceanddependencyofacellphone.Three
monthslaterandshestillhasntheardorseenofhim.Shesleftwiththememoriesfromwhat
seemslikenotsolongago,onlytoremembertheendofitallinthatmessage,withno
recognitioninperson,aftertwoyearsofherlife.Shewastakenbydependencyof
communicationthroughhandheldtechnologyandhewastakenbyavoidanceofconfrontation.
Now,theywillneverbethesame.Sheismeandthisistheresulthandheldtechnologyhadon
myrelationshipjustthreemonthsago.Throughmyduration,mytechnologyusageneverseemed
tobeaproblem,thoughInowdisagree.Mystorymademewonder,andIfellcuriouslyintomy
topic:AreHandheldTechnologiesAidingourRelationshipsorDestroyingthem?
Nomophobia:Anabnormal,irrationalfearofbeingwithoutonesmobiledevice, or of
being unable to communicate using ones mobile device. A recent study revealed this new
disorder, showing that as of today it affects around 40% of the population. Relationship Coach
and Councilor Dr. Silvia Hart says, Aside from sleep and sex, the urge to log into social
networking sites is stronger than any other, including drugs and alcohol, (Nomophobia: The
Fear of Being Without Your Smartphone.). The study found that while the impulse of logging
onto Facebook appears to be less harmful than, say cigarettes or alcohol, it still becomes an
addiction that steals and alters many people.
The average Smartphone user checks their phone 150 times a day and in a world so
technologically advanced, its hard not to become attached. Lots of us show fixation and even an
emotional connection to our phones because theyre so important to us and our lives! A majority
of us do it; even I constantly struggle with the urge to check my phone, to fight the addiction of
being constantly connected. Our phones have become extensions of ourselves personally,

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physically, and emotionally; they are often the first things we reach for when we wake up, and
many put more time and attention into their phones than in face-to-face relationships. So, this
poses another question:Hashandheldtechnologybeenmoreofabeneficialordetrimentalfactor
tohumansabilityinmaintainingandcreatinghealthyrelationships?
Howhashandheldtechnologyphysicallyaffectedourbrain? We really dont know the
FULL neurological effects of these technologies on the brain yet, says Dr. Gary Small, director
of the Longevity Center at the University of California. Children, like adults, vary quite a lot, and
some are more sensitive than others based on a number of factors such as abundance of screen
time and age of exposure.Though, Dr. Small says, we do know that the brain is highly
sensitive to motivations, like iPads and smartphone screens, and if people spend too much time
with technology, and less time interacting with people like parents at the dinner table, that it
could hinder the development of certain portions of the brain supplying our communications
skills. (The Child, the Tablet and the Developing Mind).The research proposed isnt assigning
these handheld technologies as a problem per say, but more in saying that the amount of
exposure and dependency can produce certain affects to the brains genetic makeup such as
dependency issues, anxiety, and handicapped communication skills.
Sherry Turkle, a professor of Science Technology and Society at the Massachusetts
Institute of Technology, interviewed parents, teenagers and kids about the use of appliances
during early development, and says based on her results she fears that people who do not learn
real interactions will come to know a world where perfect, shiny screens give them a false
sense of intimacy without risk and that we need to be able to think independently of a device.
They need to be able to explore their imagination. They need to be able to gather themselves
and know who they are so that someday they can form a relationship with another person without

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a panic of being alone. If you dont teach your children to be alone, theyll only know how to be
lonely. (Bilton, Nick. "The Child, the Tablet and the Developing Mind.")
We live in an era where we rely our memory on Google, GPS, calendar alerts and
calculators, but perhaps its not about remembering the facts you have but more about how you
use the information that matters.
Weve lost sight of the fact that forgetfulness is a normal and necessary phenomenon.
We must keep pushing information out so it can deal with information coming in and if it gets
overloaded we become forgetful, Professor Saling says. Attention and focus in humans has been
examined by brain scans. A study using neuroimaging of avid Internet users showed twice as
much activity in the prefrontal cortex of the brain compared to sporadic users. In this is the part
of the brain is where short-term memory is made, quick decision-making and a variety of
complex behaviors including planning, and personality development is created. In situations
where there is a flood of information, we have learnt to skim with impatience rather than to take
the information in slowly to learn. This poses problems when it comes to developing
relationships because if a person does not have patience, it damages other issues and makes
creating something healthy that much more difficult. (How Does Technology Affect Our
Brains?)

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In many senses handheld technologies have the ability to alter how we think, act, and
feel. This directly affects how we as humans interact with one another. It can range from a person
suffering from anxiety being unable to interact with a person subject to lack of communication
skills, which is not 100% the fault of handheld technology, but it holds a greater percentage than
we think: 60%. This is an estimated toll I took on a random sample of students at UNCC, so its
not absolutely accurate, but it suffices enough of an average of my surrounding peers that they
agree that handheld technologies do indeed affect humans abilities to maintain and create
healthy relationships.WorksCited
Bilton, Nick. "The Child, the Tablet and the Developing Mind." Bits Blogs. The New York
Times, 31 Mar. 2013. Web. 11 Apr. 2016.
Frejd, Sylvia Hart, Dr. "Nomophobia: The Fear of Being Without Your Smartphone."
Nomophobia: The Fear of Being Without Your Smartphone. American Association of
Christian Counselors, 13 May 2012. Web. 11 Apr. 2016.
Harvath, Andi. "How Does Technology Affect Our Brains?" The Age National. Fairfax Media, 4
June 2015. Web. 11 Apr. 2016.
Koifman, Natasha. "Can Social Media Actually Benefit Relationships?" The Huffington Post. 17
Oct. 2013. Web. 16 Mar. 2016.
Lickermen,Alex."TheEffectOfTechnologyOnRelationships."PsychologyToday.10
June2010.Web.14Mar.2016.
Powers, William. "How Our Digital Devices Are Affecting Our Personal Relationships." NPR
News Station. 17 Jan. 2013. Web. 14 Mar. 2016.
"Technology Can Have Positive or Negative Impact on Social Interactions." Humankinetics. 2010. Web. 14 Mar. 2016.

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