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The Borough Press

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk
Published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2016
1
Copyright Curtis Sittenfeld 2016
Curtis Sittenfeld asserts the moral right to
be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book
is available from the British Library
ISBN: 978-0-00-748629-8
Eligible is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents
are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons,
living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Printed and bound in Great Britain by
Clays Ltd, St Ives plc
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
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in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior
permission of the publishers.

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Chapter 7

Mrs. Bennet had not, as it turned out, needed to lean on Mrs.

Lucas excessively in order to convince the latter to facilitate a
meeting between the Bennet daughters and Chip Bingley. Upon
receiving Mrs. Bennets phone call, Mrs. Lucas had declared
that nothing could bring her greater pleasure, or reflect more
flatteringly on Cincinnati, than the attendance of the beautiful
Bennet girls and their parents at the barbecue that the Lucases
were hosting for several recent arrivals to Christ Hospital, where
Dr. Lucas was both a physician and a high-ranking executive.
Mrs. Lucas shared with Mrs. Bennet the affliction of an
unmarried adult daughter, though in Mrs. Lucass case the disappointment was embodied just once rather than multiplied
five-fold. Charlotte Lucas, who had been Lizs classmate and
closest friend at Seven Hills for fifteen years, was also single,
a bright and poised human resources manager at Procter &
Gamble who since graduating from college had been about
seventy-five pounds overweight. To Mrs. Bennets mind, this
fact placed Mrs. Lucass misfortune in a separate, albeit equally
frustrating, category from the one in which her own daughters fell. Obviously, Charlotte wasnt married because she
was heavy; therefore, she simply needed to go on a diet. Mrs.
Bennets own daughters, however, possessing no discernible
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physical or personal flaws (except for poor homely Mary), had

no clear means of remediation.
Mrs. Bennet, who herself was not a stranger to rotundity,
had wondered if Mrs. Lucas considered Charlotte a candidate
for Chips affections, but Mrs. Lucass unhesitating inclusion
of the Bennets at the barbecue reassured Mrs. Bennet that her
friend harbored no unrealistic expectations where Charlotte
was concerned. Thus, despite having failed to pair off any of
her daughters in the two decades shed been actively trying,
Mrs. Bennets hopes for the barbecue were high indeed.
The Lucases lived in Indian Hill, a suburb fifteen miles from
downtown and home to the sort of Cincinnatians who enjoyed
owning horses or at least purebred dogs who could roam on
multi-acre properties. The Lucases house was a vast brick
colonial with a balcony over the front door and a slate roof. In
the kitchen, various Bennets embraced various Lucases, Jane
passed off her sponge cake, and Liz walked to the window to
survey the dozen or so guests already chatting on the flagstone
patio in the backyard. Jane, come see your future husband,
she called merrily.
Jane joined her. I take it Chip Bingley is the tall, dark, and
handsome one?
Charlotte Lucas said, No, Chip is the guy in the seersucker shorts. The tall, dark, and handsome one is his friend
Fitzwilliam Darcy, who joined the stroke center at the University
of Cincinnati last year as a neurosurgeon. The rumor is hes
also single, but hes kind of standoffish. He and Chip went to
medical school together. Charlotte turned to Jane. Did you
really never watch Eligible when Chip was on?
Shes never watched any of Eligible, Liz said. Shes like
a unicorn.
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Oh, Chips season was fantastic, Charlotte said. There was

an actual physical fight involving ripped-out hair extensions.
Mary, who had caught up to her mothers car on the drive
out, said, I find Eligible degrading to women.
So youve mentioned. Liz glanced at Charlotte. Did you
say Chips friends name is Fitzwilliam, and if so, did he just sail
over on the Mayflower?
He goes by his last name. Charlotte grinned. Though Im
not sure Darcy is much better.
In recent years, Charlotte and Liz hadnt spent time together
beyond Christmas parties or lunches scheduled during Lizs
trips home from New York, but they still took immense pleasure in each others company. Indeed, it had been one of the
highlights of Lizs longer-term return to Cincinnati to resume
her friendship with Charlotte in a genuine fashion, as adults,
and to find that her enjoyment of the woman was no less than it
had been of the girl. They only half-jokingly speculated about
whether they were the last two single people from their high
school class, though Liz wondered if Charlotte suffered from
this distinction more acutelyCharlotte lived in Cincinnati,
where her mother could nag her at closer proximity; she didnt
have the buffer of an older sister who was, ostensibly, even more
overdue to marry; she did wish to have children; and she didnt
have a secret boyfriend.
Chip is shorter than he looks on TV, right? Charlotte
said. But definitely cute. And that guy in the V-neck, Keith,
is another new emergency doctorthe man in question
was black, the only non-white person at the partyand the
woman in the striped dress is an intern. The man next to her
is her husband, and that toddler is theirs. In addition to these
guests were an attractive blond woman Liz didnt recognize and
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two older couples Liz had previously met at the Lucases New
Years Day open house; the men in both couples also worked as
doctors at Christ Hospital.
Is Keith single, too? Liz asked. Because if he is, Jane,
theres basically a man buffet for you to pick from.
I might remind you, Mr. Bennet said as he blithely fixed
himself a gin and tonic at the nearby wet bar, that youre not
observing those gentlemen from behind a two-way mirror.
Mr. Bennet held up his hand, and Dr. Lucas waved back.
I doubt they read lips, Liz said.
Jane turned to Charlotte. Is the blond woman a doctor?
Thats Caroline Bingley, Chips sister. She lives in LA, but
shes helping him get settled here.
Chip is handsome, Jane said, and Liz and Charlotte
exchanged an amused look.
Then lets go out and Ill introduce you, Charlotte said.

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Chapter 8

After the flurry of greetings, Liz found herself talking to Keith,

who was congenial and, she quickly discovered, engaged to a
woman finishing her medical residency in San Diego. By the
time the chicken breasts had been grilled, and the potato salad,
coleslaw, and rolls set out, Liz and Keith had covered the topics
of San Diegos climate, Cincinnatis climate, and Cincinnatis
famous chili, which Keith had not yet sampled. As Liz and
Keith moved on to Keiths interest in golf, Liz was gratified
to observe that Jane appeared to be deep in conversation with
Chip Bingley; that conversation continued as Jane and Chip
procured food and took seats side by side on a mortared stone
retaining wall, soon joined by Chips sister Caroline.
When Liz had prepared her own plate of food, she walked to
the four-person patio table where Fitzwilliam Darcy was sitting
with the husband of the intern and one of the older doctors.
The older doctor and the husband were discussing how the
Reds were faring this season, and, addressing Fitzwilliam Darcy
(or, Liz reminded herself, just Darcy), Liz pointed to the empty
chair. Is this seat taken?
It is, Darcy said. He didnt temper his rebuff with any
apology, and Liz assumed he must have misheard her; he must
have thought shed asked if the seat was free.
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She said, It is taken?

Yes, Darcy said, and he remained unapologetic. It is.
In spite of Charlottes warning about Darcy seeming standoffish, Liz was so disconcerted that she was tempted to say,
Forgive me for imagining I was worthy of sharing your table. So
he had gone to Harvard Medical School; so he was a neurosurgeonneither fact gave him carte blanche to be rude. Before
moving away, she smiled in a manner she hoped he understood
was fake.
Spying Kitty and Lydia nearby, Liz walked to them and
perched on the cushioned ottoman by Kittys knees. Her
younger sisters were debating the ideal time to arrive at their
next gathering, which apparently would be hosted by the owner
of their CrossFit gym. Lydia pointed toward the roll on Lizs
plate. Dont carbs make you feel sluggish?
Everything in moderation, Liz said. There were many
reasons she found her sisters enthusiasm for CrossFit and the
Paleo Diet irritating, including that Liz herself had been familiar with both long before they had, having written an article
about CrossFit back in 2007. Another source of irritation was
that her sisters looked fantastic; they had always been attractive, but since taking up CrossFit, they were practically glowing
with energy and strength.
When Lizs phone vibrated in her pocket, she was almost
finished eating and even more insulted by Darcys snub than
shed been at first, because the chair beside him had remained
empty all this time. She took the opportunity to go inside, wash
the barbecue sauce from her hands at the kitchen sink, and
check the message.
Southampton biggest clusterfuck of all time, read the text from
Jasper, and she typed back, Hang in there. When fireworks?
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God knows but none will b as bright as u, Jasper texted.

A reference to my sparkling personality or sequined nipple pasties?
Liz typed.
Yowza, Jasper replied.
Standing just inside the back door, looking down at her
phone, Liz gradually became aware of a conversation occurring
on the screen doors other side; after focusing for a few seconds,
she realized the speakers were Chip Bingley and Fitzwilliam
Darcy.
much better than I expected, Chip was saying. When I
told people I was moving to Cincinnati, I was practically getting
condolences, but its not bad at all.
Said like a man whos just spent an hour talking to the
only good-looking woman at the party, Darcy replied. Not
counting your sister, of course. Liz could hear the rattle of
ice cubes, then Darcy added, Im sure they do their best, but
Cincinnatians are painfully provincial. Inside the kitchen,
Liz smiled. It was oddly satisfying to receive confirmation of
Darcys snobbishness.
In a friendly tone, Chip said, In your first year here, you
didnt find any lady Buckeyes who met your exacting standards?
I can hardly think of anything less tempting, Darcy said.
Chip chuckled. Someone told me Janes sister Liz is single,
too.
I suppose it would be unchivalrous to say Im not surprised.
Lizs jaw dropped; abruptly, the eavesdropping had ceased
to be satisfying. Who did this man think he was, and what did
he have against her personally? When being introduced, they
hadnt exchanged more than ten words.
Heres what Ive learned about the people in this city, Darcy
was saying. They grade their women on a curve. If someone
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is described as sophisticated, it means once during college she

visited Paris, and if someone is described as beautiful, it means
shes fifteen pounds overweight instead of forty. And theyre
obsessed with matchmaking. They act like theyre doing you
a favor by conscripting you to have coffee with the elementary
school teacher from their church during the two free hours you
might have in an entire week. Ive lost count of how many of
my colleagues wives have tried to set me up. With your having
been on TV, they must be licking their chops.
You know what? Chip said. Im making it my mission
to get you a social life in Cincinnati, and dont try to tell me
thats an oxymoron. If all you have is two hours a week, lets
make them a great two hours. His affectionate tone was, Liz
thought, no particular credit to himnot only was Chip apparently unmoved to defend her from Darcys aspersions, but it
hadnt even seemed to occur to the former that his friends
words were offensive.
Good for you if you like it here now, Darcy said. And I
dont mean that facetiously. But Ill be curious what you think
this time next year.
As Chip began speaking, Liz pushed open the screen door
and, in an emphatically friendly tone, said, Hi! She glanced
from Chips face to Darcys and, making eye contact with
Darcy, held his gaze for an extra beat. I was just inside thinking
what grade Id give myself, she said. I realized it would be an
A-plus, but Ive heard we grade on a curve here, so Im probably whatmore like a B for the coasts? Or a B-minus? If you
have a minute to figure it out, be sure to let me know. Without
waiting for either to respond, she walked past them, eager to
repeat Darcys comments as widely and quickly as she could.

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