Ingram Spear

MGT 3305
Dr. Quade
4 December 2015
Executive Summary of Results
How I See Myself= 67% Giver, 20% Matcher, 13% Taker
1. I agree with the results that I got on my test wholeheartedly. I think that
they represent my actual tendencies accurately. I primarily tend to be a
giver, but there are definitely situations where I resort to matcher or taker
types.
2. I was a little bit surprised at the percentage level I received for taker
because I feel like it is rare for me to act this way in real life. This being
said, I think that the line between an otherish giver and taker depends on
the situation you are in. One of the questions I remember from the
assessment asked if I would give a friend who started his own tech firm a
contact with an influential CEO I knew growing up (but havent talked to in
five years) even though I was planning on getting in touch with the CEO in
the near future. Answering this question by saying no seems like it would
make you a taker, but I would argue that it could also be the action of an
otherish giver. If I were going to start my own company, I would need to
make practical decisions to make sure it gets up and running. If this CEO
had significant advice to give, talking to him could possibly make or break
my company. It would probably also be inconsiderate to ask him twice in a
short period of time for help when you dont have a close relationship with
him. Personally, I would choose to talk to the CEO myself because I think

it could drastically affect the success of my new startup. While I was

surprised with how high my taker category was, this example makes my
results seem more understandable.
3. I think my friends and family see me as a giver because they know I will
do just about anything for them. My relationships are the most important
things in my life, and I believe that they should be treated as such. I have
been able to do service with all of my friends and family through mission
trips to Africa, serving in scouts, and going out into my community. I dont
try to hide any giver-ish tendencies that I have, so it is understandable
and comforting that others see me in this way.
4. In 5 years I would like for my taker level to decrease as well as my
matcher level. I dont view being a matcher as a bad thing necessarily,
but I think giving without expecting return is the most pure and gratifying
way to live. This is easier said then done though because my natural
tendency is often times to think I deserve repayment for giving to
someone else.
5.
a. The first thing I would want to work on moving forward is my ability
to recognize whom the givers, takers, and matchers are around me.
I am currently guilty of giving people the benefit of the doubt too
often instead of being realistic and assessing what their real
motives are. I have been taken advantage of before because I was
unrealistic with my evaluation of my peers and it hurt me badly.
Strategies such as looking past agreeableness when determining if
someone is a giver or a taker and recognizing a taker in givers

clothing through his or her actions will help me to be more cautious

with who I trust in the future.
b. The second thing that I want to work on is being an otherish giver
instead of a selfless giver. There are definitely some situations I
have gotten myself into where I cant bring myself to say no to
helping someone even when I dont have the time or energy to help
them. Specifically in college this has been a problem because it is
easy to commit to doing many different things for other people and
lose track of your personal schedule. I need to keep in mind that in
order for me to help others in the way I desire later on in life, I have
to take advantage of the opportunities I have in front of me right
now. Doing this requires saying no to people sometimes and
managing my time more wisely.
6. I can do a better job of giving to my little brother Joseph. Even though we
were 4 years apart, growing up we were pretty close. Like most brothers
do, we fought often over just about everything. This led to our relationship
with one another being extremely matcher based. Anytime one of us
would get something do something the other would want the same thing.
We grew out of most of the childish behaviors, but our relationship is still
very matcher-like. I want to be more of a giver to him because I want to
be a big brother he can come to if he has questions about things he is
going through that I went through just 4 years before. I need to shift from
caring about being equal to realizing the impact I can have on his life
through giving advice and help when he needs it. He is very important to

me, and I think that he deserves to know that I have his back regardless
of the situation.
7.
a. The first thing from Give and Take that I found encouraging was the
emphasis on how giving really is good for you and good for society.
It is really easy to fall under the false impression that giving will
only harm you because you have to sacrifice your time and energy
without any promise of return. On page 31 Rich quotes LinkedIn
founder Reid Hoffman who says, If you set out to help others, you
will rapidly reinforce your own reputation and expand your universe
of possibilities(Rich 31). Hoffmans quote makes giving seem
desirable and beneficial. While there are many ways giving can be
counterproductive, when it is done right, it brings the most success
and possibilities to those who give. That message really encourages
me because it shows that good can ultimately win out over
selfishness.
b. The second thing that I found to be applicable was the importance
of networking and how givers, takers, and matchers play into that.
Being a giver, it is especially encouraging to me that givers
networks can prosper when giving is the norm because that kind of
personality is attractive to those that are successful. In chapter 2
Rich explains givers networks by saying, givers create norms that
favor adding rather then claiming or trading value, expanding the
pie for all involved(Rich 59). When givers network they are all
willing to contribute their resources to each other, which open the

possibilities made available to them. Takers on the other hand

network poorly because they regularly burn bridges by always
asking for favors and rarely reciprocating. This information is very
applicable to me because I am building a network of friends already
in college, and I need to make sure I am careful with who I invest in.
c. The third and most challenging thing that I think Rich presented in
Give and Take dealt with overcoming the Doormat Effect. Being a
successful giver requires a certain level of self-awareness. Rich says
in Chapter 7 that givers who are, too trusting, too empathetic, and
too timid put themselves at a significant disadvantage (Rich 189).
This is challenging because it requires confidence, self-awareness,
and action to overcome. I struggle with being able to stand up for
myself when I need to and sometimes become a doormat before I
realize what has happened. The tit for tat method Rich suggest on
page 195 can be used to help prevent the doormat effect, but it will
always be a challenge for me.
8. Being a cautious and prudent giver helps others and guides one through a
life of authentic happiness and success.