How To Be Authentic: 10 steps to being yourself

KAKO DA BUDE AUTENTIAN: 10 KORAKA DA BUDE ,,SVOJ

Having been asked to do a little talk as part of a series of workshops and discussions in a group
of like-minded explorers, I thought I would start with the story of the little girl who skipped (at
play school, I was told to go back and walk properly) and use this anecdote from my own
childhood to illustrate how our inner spirit can so easily be quashed by the serious adult reality of
the world around us. I wanted to talk about how important it is to get back in touch with who we
really are and to be authentic to that self.
Nakon to sam zamoljena da organizujem krai razgovor kao deo nekoliko radionica i diskusija u
grupi istraivaa istomiljenika, mislila sam da ponem sa priom o devojici koja skakue (u
zabavitu mi je reeno da idem unazad i hodam kako treba) i iskoristim ovu anegdotu iz svog
detinjstva da ilustrujem kako na unutranji duh moe lako da bude ugroen od strane ozbiljne,
odrasle realnosti sveta oko nas. Htela sam da priam o tome kako je vano da se ponovo
uspostavi kontakt sa tim ko smo mi zapravo i da je potrebno biti autentian.

The truth is, though, that were often given the advice to just be ourselves, to be true to who
we are but what does that really mean? How can we get in touch with our deepest desires and
feelings when were so used to bottling them up and disregarding them to fit in with other
peoples expectations? Do we even know who we are anymore?
Istina je, meutim, da nas esto savetuju da budemo ono to jesmo, da budemo iskreni prema
sebi. Ali, ta to zapravo znai? Kako moemo stupiti u kontakt sa naim najdubljim eljama i
oseanjima kada smo toliko naviknuti da ih suzbijamo i ignoriemo ne bismo li se uklopili u
oekivanja drugih ljudi? Znamo li uopte ko smo zaista?
I started to list possible ways in which we might peel back the layers and get closer to that self
that Im sure is still in there, somewhere; in my case to the little girl who skipped. These are the
ten steps that I identified that I think will help you to get closer to being yourself whatever
that means
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Poela sam da nabrajam naine na koje bi moda bilo mogue ukloniti slojeve i prii blie tom
ja koje sam sigurna da je jo uvek tamo negde; u mom sluaju, onoj devojici koja je
skakutala. Ovo su deset koraka koje sam uoila i za koje mislim da e vam pomoi da se
pribliite tome da budete "svoji" - ta god to znailo
1. What if no one was watching?
ta bi bilo kad me niko ne bi video?
I think the first step to understanding what it means to be authentic is to ask yourself: what if no
one was watching? So much of what we do is because of what weve learned that society expects
of us, what we think we should do, what we believe will make us liked and wont expose us to
criticism. What if we didnt need to care about what other people thought? What if we could do
anything we wanted? What then? It might help to think back to your younger self: what would he
or she have done? Young children have not yet been socialised, they do what they want to do,
their emotions and actions are completely raw and pure. So get in touch with your inner child,
and dance like no one is watching!
Mislim da je prvi korak u razumevanju toga ta znai biti autentian da se zapitate: ta bi bilo
kada me niko ne bi video? Toliko onoga to radimo je zbog toga to smo nauili da drutvo
oekuje to od nas, ono to mislimo da treba da uradimo, ono to verujemo da e uiniti da nas
zavole i da nas nee izlagati kritici. ta ako ne bi bilo potrebe da brinemo o tome ta drugi ljudi
misle? ta ako bismo mogli da uradimo bilo ta to elimo? ta onda? Moda bi priseanje
vremena kada ste bili mali moglo da pomogne: ta biste tada uradili? Mala deca jo uvek nisu
socijalizovana, rade ono to ele, njihove emocije i dela su potpuno nevina i ista. Dakle, stupite
u kontakt sa svojim unutranjim detetom, i pleite kao da vas niko ne vidi!
2. Get outside your comfort zone
Izaite iz svoje zone komfora
Its easy to allow yourself to get comfortable, to stick with the things that youre good at, to stay
within the limits of the role that youve been assigned. You do the things youve always done the
way youve always done them. As you do so, your comfort zone actually shrinks around you and
the scope for movement becomes ever more restrictive. Its only by pushing the boundaries, by
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trying new things, meeting different people, testing your abilities, that you find where your true
strengths and passions lie. Keep challenging yourself, in big ways and in small, explore the
world of possibilities around you, and youll find that your comfort zone expands as you
discover who you are and what youre capable of.
Lako je dozvoliti sebi da se opustite, da se drite stvari u kojima ste dobri, da ostanete u
granicama uloge koja vam je dodeljena. Obino radimo stvari koje smo oduvek radili i to uvek
na isti nain. Dok se tako ponaamo, naa zona komfora se zapravo smanjuje i prostor za
kretanje postaje sve restriktivniji. Samo pomerajui granice, isprobavajui nove stvari,
upoznajui razliite ljude, testirajui svoje sposobnosti, zapravo otkrivate svoju istinsku snagu i
strast. Nastavite da izazivate sebe, na velike i male naine, istraujte svet mogunosti oko sebe, i
videete da se vaa zona komfora iri kako otkrivate ko ste i za ta ste sposobni.
3. Question everything
Postavljajte pitanje o svemu
All those years of growing up in a particular family and society have conditioned you to think in
certain ways. In fact, youre not really thinking, youre acting on autopilot based on certain rules
that youve created for yourself. In order to get closer to your authentic self, its important to
start breaking those patterns and actively questioning your behaviour. What are the underlying
beliefs on which youre basing your actions, is there really evidence for those beliefs, and do
these beliefs serve who you are and what you want in life? By questioning those automatic
reactions youll come to understand if they are really consistent with what you want and youll
then be able to consciously choose to respond in a way that is consistent.
Sve te godine odrastanja u odreenoj porodici i drutvu uslovili su da mislite na odreeni nain.
U stvari, niste zaista razmiljali, ponaali ste se kao robot koji se ponaa na osnovu odreenih
pravila koje ste stvorili za sebe. Da biste se pribliili svom autentinom ,,ja, vano je da ponete
da razbijate te obrasce i aktivno ispitujete svoje ponaanje. Koja su osnovna verovanja na kojima
zasnivate svoje postupke, da li zaista postoji dokaz za ta verovanja, i da li ova verovanja slue
tome ko ste i ta elite u ivotu? Postavljanjem pitanja o ovim automatskim reakcijama ete
shvatiti da li su one zaista u skladu sa onim to elite i onda ete moi da svesno izaberete da
odgovorite na dosledan nain.
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4. No judging
Ne osuujte
Being authentic is about being honest and real about what you believe without holding back
because of some idea of what is right and wrong. Next time those negative thoughts creep in,
stop yourself from thinking of what you should do and instead allow yourself to dream. Think
of it as a brainstorming session: a judgement-free zone with no criticism allowed, only a free
flow of ideas. There is a place for constructive criticism and evaluating what is possible but most
of the time we jump to that stage far too quickly. There is plenty of cynicism and comparison and
judging going on in the world; try instead to let go of all that negativity, to strip away the layers
of expectations and assumptions and conventions and get to the heart of what you really think.
Biti autentian znai biti iskren i realan oko toga u ta verujete bez zadrke zbog neke ideje o
tome ta je ispravno i pogreno. Kada se sledei put te negativne misli priunjaju, prestanite
da razmiljate o tome ta bi trebalo da uradite i umesto toga dozvolite sebi da sanjate. Mislite o
tome kao o tematskom intervalu: gde postoji zona slobodnog miljenja, gde je zabranjena kritika
i gde postoji samo slobodan tok misli. Postoji mesto za konstruktivnu kritiku i evaluaciju onoga
to je mogue, ali u veini sluajeva suvie brzo preemo u tu fazu. Previe je cinizma,
poreenja i osuivanja u svetu; pokuajte, umesto toga, da se oslobodite sve te negativnosti, da
skinete slojeve oekivanja, pretpostavki i konvencija i da kaete ta stvarno mislite.
5. Dont second-guess other people
Ne osuujte druge ljude
Just as you shouldnt judge yourself, you shouldnt judge others or expect them to judge you. Its
easy to think you know what other people want and change your behaviour accordingly; you
might hold back from expressing what you think, or pretend you like something you really dont,
all with the intention of appeasing the other person. The fact is that youre probably wrong about
them and youre actually likely to end up with both of you being dissatisfied. Instead, why not
give other people the benefit of the doubt? Assume that theyre nice people, that they will respect
you for being yourself, and that they wont judge you! By judging them youre actually doing
exactly what you dont want them to do to you ironic, dont you think?
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Ba kao to ne bi trebalo da osuujete sami sebe, ne bi trebalo ni da osuujete druge niti da od

njih oekujete da vas osuuju. Lako je misliti da znate ta drugi ljudi ele i u skladu sa tim da
menjate svoje ponaanje; moda preutite ono to mislite, ili se pretvarate da vam se dopada
neto to vam se ne dopada, sve sa namerom da smirite drugu osobu. injenica je da verovatno
greite u vezi sa njima i da ete verovatno oboje zavriti nezadovoljni. Umesto toga, zato ne dati
drugim ljudima mogunost sumnje? Pretpostavimo da su dobri ljudi, da e vas potovati zato to
ste ono to jeste i da vas nee osuivati! Osuujui ih, vi zapravo radite upravo ono to ne elite
da oni vama rade - ironino, zar ne?
6. Define whats important to you
Definiite ta je vano za vas
An authentic life is a life thats aligned to your innermost values so naturally you need to
clarify what those values are. What are the guiding principles by which you want to live your
life? Whats really important to you? Honesty? Respect? Learning and development? Prestige?
Money? Family? Identifying these primary values will help you to sense check multiple options
when youre faced with a difficult decision as to how to act in a given situation, a choice of
different paths you can take. Which of the choices resonates with your personal values? Which
one fits with your priorities that youve identified? You need to get clear on what you want
before you can go out and get it!
Autentian ivot je ivot koji je usklaen sa vaim najdubljim vrednostima tako da, prirodno,
potrebno je da se razjasni koje su to vrednosti. Koji su vodei principi po kojima elite da ivite
svoj ivot? ta je ono to vam je zaista vano? Potenje? Potovanje? Uenje i razvoj? Presti?
Novac? Porodica? Odreivanje ovih osnovnih vrednosti e vam pomoi da proverite vie opcija
kada ste suoeni sa tekom odlukom o tome kako da se ponaate u datoj situaciji, da izaberete
razliite puteve kojima moete ii. Koja od mogunosti se poklapa sa vaim linim vrednostima?
Koja se poklapa sa prioritetima koje ste identifikovali? Treba da vam bude jasno ta elite pre
nego izaete napolje i to uzmete!
7. Be present in the moment
ivite u datom trenutku
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Being authentic, I think, requires being in the moment; not in the past, and not in the future.
When youre dwelling on the past, youre often justifying your current situation, clinging to an
old role, blaming other people or particular circumstances, and not being true to who you are
right here, right now. On the other hand, if youre spending all your time planning and
hypothesising about the future then youre making assumptions about what may or may not
happen and, again, youre not being true to who you are today. Of course, thats not to say that
you should forget all about where youve come from or what you want to achieve in the future;
but focusing on the present moment and, yes, being mindful will help you to really listen to
what you actually want and need.
Verujem da biti autentian zahteva da ivite u datom trenutku; ne u prolosti, ne u budunosti.
Kada ivite u prolosti, vi esto opravdavate svoju trenutnu situaciju, drei se stare uloge,
krivei druge ljude ili posebne okolnosti, a niste iskreni oko toga ko ste vi upravo ovde, sada. Sa
druge strane, ako troite sve svoje vreme na planiranje i hipoteze o budunosti, onda pravite
pretpostavke o tome ta bi moglo ili ne da se desi i, opet, niste iskreni oko toga ko ste vi danas.
Naravno, to ne znai da treba da zaboravite odakle potiete ili ta elite da postignete u
budunosti; ali, fokusiranje na sadanji trenutak i, da, promiljanje o njemu, pomoi e vam da
zaista ujete ta zapravo elite i ta vam je potrebno.
8. Follow your intuition
Sledite svoju intuiciju
Those of you whove grown up in Western society will have been trained in the school of
rational thought, of logical and analytical reasoning, and intellectual and academic prowess. This
means using your head to make decisions: looking at the pros and cons, thinking of sensible
things like financial security and pensions, and being altogether realistic. It can feel very
uncomfortable to heed such wishy-washy, fanciful advice as to follow your intuition or listen
to your heart. The truth is, though, that your heart or maybe its your gut knows what youre
secretly wishing for beyond any intellectual considerations and warnings. It takes practice, but
over time youll find that there is a voice there and if you listen youll hear that its surprisingly
clear about what it really wants.

Oni meu vama koji su odrasli u zapadnom drutvu se ponaaju u skladu sa kolom racionalnog
razmiljanja, logikog i analitikog rezonovanja i intelektualne i akademske vetine. To znai da
koristite svoju glavu za donoenje odluka: razmatrate za i protiv, razmiljate o osetljivim
stvarima kao to su finansijska sigurnosta i penzija, i sve u svemu ste potpuno realni. Moe biti
veoma neprijatno slediti tako kolebljiv, matovit savet kao to je sledite svoju intuiciju ili
sluajte svoje srce. Istina je, meutim, da vae srce ili moda va stomak zna ta tajno
elite, van svih intelektualnih razmatranja i upozorenja. Potrebno je iskustvo, ali vremenom ete
spoznati da tamo zaista postoji glas i da, ako sluate, uete da je iznenaujue jasno ta to on
zaista eli.
9. Rewrite your story
Ponovo napiite svoju priu
Ive already said how being authentic means not living in the past and justifying your actions or
your current situation with whatever happened to you before; now its time to take control of
your life and to (re-)write your personal life story. Think of your life as a film: what kind of film
do you want to be a drama, a horror story, an action-packed adventure? Are you the comedy
sidekick or a leading lady? A tragic divorcee or an indomitable romantic? Once you realise that
you have the power to create whatever reality you want, your eyes will be open to the
possibilities that exist along with your opportunity to grasp those possibilities. Rewrite your story
as you want to live it, and as you want it to be remembered.
Ve sam rekla kako biti autentian znai ne iveti u prolosti i ne pravdati svoje postupke ili
svoju trenutnu situaciju bilo ime to vam se desilo ranije; sada je vreme da preuzmete kontrolu
nad svojim ivotom i da (ponovo) napiete svoju linu ivotnu priu. Razmiljajte o svom ivotu
kao o filmu: kakav film elite da budete drama, horor pria, avantura puna akcije? Da li ste vi
komedija ili glavna glumica? Tragino razvedena osoba ili nesavladivi romantik? Jednom kada
shvatite da imate mo da stvorite kakvu god stvarnost elite, oi e vam biti otvorene za
mogunosti koje postoje zajedno sa vaim prilikama da epate te mogunosti. Ponovo napiite
svoju priu onako kako elite da je ivite i kako elite da bude zapamena.
10. Embrace the imperfections
Prihvatite nesavrenosti
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The pressure is on to have the perfect job and the perfect partner, the perfect body, the perfect
life. But the truth is: no one is perfect. More to the point, who wants to be perfect anyway?!
Perfection is boring! Its the imperfections that make life interesting, its the cracks that let the
light in. Start embracing your imperfections and youll start to live life as its meant to be lived.
Youll be more open to taking risks and making mistakes as you recognise that these are not
signs that youre a failure but signs that youre human and, moreover, learning opportunities to
get even better in the future. Being authentic is to recognise that you are imperfect and thats
okay! More than okay its perfect.
Postoji pritisak na nas da imamo savren posao i savrenog partnera, savreno telo, savren ivot.
Ali, istina je da niko nije savren. Jo preciznije, ko uopte eli da bude savren?! Savrenstvo je
dosadno! Upravo nesavrenosti ine ivot zanimljivim, upravo to su pukotine kroz koje ulazi
svetlost. Ponite da prihvatate svoje nedostatke i poeete da ivite ivot onako kako bi trebalo
da se ivi. Biete otvoreniji da rizikujete i pravite greke ukoliko priznajete da to ne znai da ste
neuspeni, ve da ste ljudi i, tavie, da su to sve prilike za uenje da budete jo bolji u
budunosti. Biti autentian znai prepoznati da ste nesavreni i to je u redu! Vie je nego u
redu... to je savreno.