Iblis: What is it...?

I have no business with you.

Not yet.
Gabby: everybody know's stuff's fricked
Jaime: oh hey, he can say something normal
Gabby: i don't give a good gosh dang your uncle sam is a motherfricker
eldritch s. (GM): my computer continues to eat shit
Mobile L: Fuk
Jaime: i spent a year covered in it, don't complain
eldritch s. (GM): and then got your hand cut off
Jaime: hey, i got a pretty bitching beard in the process
eldritch s. (GM): i miss the beard
Jaime: i miss my long hair
Mobile L: Lemme put my dogs up
Jaime: my long, golden locks
Mobile L: Back in a sec
Jaime: so how did i wipe my ass back in king's landing?
i mean
toilet paper?
eldritch s. (GM): you didn;t
tyrion just comes in and shoots everyone who takes a shit
Mac D.: space
space my beloved where are you
Jaime: yeah, what about the horse
tyrion didn't shoot it
eldritch s. (GM): yeah he did
offscreen
Jaime: touch...
Mobile L: Murp
eldritch s. (GM): everyone in king's landing has to hold iti n
or tyrion shoots them
Fawkes M.: Like Darius O'Dyna
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Mac D.: GRIMBO
eldritch s. (GM): and when he finally thinks he's safe
Mac D.: BRING ME MORE FOOD
eldritch s. (GM): and takes a dump
Mac D.: JOHNNY IS HONGRY
eldritch s. (GM): he get's shot
Mac D.: JOHNNY IS HOOOONGRY
Fawkes M.: Even if it ain't Westeros
eldritch s. (GM): in all timelines
turr is close enough to westeros
seeing
as there are walls
and winter's comin'
Fawkes M.: What about Fuyuki?
Mobile L: Look, I found Maybe Older Gabby if she turned into a stupid dork: http
://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3JfbMoiTuk8/UjwFaMabFzI/AAAAAAAABsM/j5TQP_opy7Q/s1600/K+ha
ppy+copia.jpg
Fawkes M.: Or Death Note Tokyo?
Play her, Mobile
Mobile L: But I don't know what her future holds yet
eldritch s. (GM): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKZ0VNnAuiU
Fawkes M.: Is the Sakura of the FG a vampire?
eldritch s. (GM): no
Fawkes M.: Exactly
Mobile L: Or what on earth would mellow the tempest that is her out
Damn...
eldritch s. (GM): meds

Mobile L: Gabby doesn't need meds, they disappoint her

Mac D.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rmUq1a4VG4
Mobile L: Now I need to find another Possible Future Gabby who looks high-strung
holy shit Jon
Fawkes M.: Dictator Gabby
No Pepsiman
Disappointing
Space: kept you waiting, huh
Fawkes M.: He's Forrest, Forrest Gump
People call him Forrest Gump
Space: forrest looks different
Jaime: eyy, forrest! you lost weight...
Forrest: boo
Jaime: oh, you're just fat
meh
Narrator : Now that Mu has left the room, it feels as if it has taken on a diffe
rent air.
Gabby:
Jaime can't help but look around the room, to see if it seems different
Forrest: ...Well that felt like a bit of a waste of time.
Steph: ...
Narrator : The air is lighter.
Steph is just thinking quietly
Narrator : The door to the Second Heaven opens up.
Gabby is THINKING HARD about the Naomi thing
Gabby:
...Welp, uh...
Forrest: ...That our way out.
Steph: Yeah.
Jaime: Probably.
Gabby: Yep.
Forrest: Alright, I assume nobody has anything to do here.
Teddy Reinside: Age before kids!
Teddy Reinside charges out
Gabby:
>:/
Jaime: I think we should, fir-...
Gabby follows
Forrest: ....
Steph gets up and hurries after
Jaime to the bat-pole
Forrest: ...He's enthusiastic.
Forrest looks over at Nathan and Suzie
Narrator : The rest of them follow after
Forrest: ....
Forrest follows
Gabby: ...Ah frick...
Steph: ...Okay.
Forrest: ....Alright, so where do the monsters usually hang out.
Narrator : The door hovers in the air, moving sligtly

Jaime: ...
Gabby: Basically right here.
Steph: We've only ever fought one.
Forrest: Oh.
Gabby: When the school is fricked up like this, that means, uhm... yeah.
Forrest: Nice to know I'm basically in the same boat of inexperience.
Narrator : It's a long hallway.
Steph: Yeah, you're not -- we're all out of our league.
Narrator : At the end there's an ominous looking door.
They kind that would have something like:
Forrest: Maybe if we combine all our strengths, we'll even out to something medi
ocre.
Narrator : "DON'T DEAD OPEN INSIDE" plastered on
Gabby: Frickin' better than nothing, right?
Mac D.: welcome to season 1 of the walking dead kids
Jaime: Well, there are more of us now than last time.
Steph: Lets just, um... get going.
Ken: There's no use dewlling on our ignorance.
Forrest: Oh good. Our odds have improved.
Gabby caaaaautiously steps forward
Narrator : gabby is immediatly killed
Gabby: frick you
Narrator : Well.
It's safe to say.
It's not a minefield
Steph: .me hangs in the back of the group
Forrest watches Gabby walk, carefully following behind
Gabby goes ahead and pulls out her nice Ayn Rand book
Jaime leads with his long, hard spear
Teddy Reinside: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
19
+
7
+
13
)}+1
= 14
Gabby flips it to an especially annoying part
Teddy Reinside is peaking into a doorway
Steph: ...?
Steph looks back at Teddy
Teddy Reinside: Holy shit...
Fawkes M.: How do you peak into a doorway?
Gabby: ...What?
Steph: What is it?
Forrest looks back at Ted as everyone else does
Forrest: Is it a monster.
Steph: ...close the door.
Teddy Reinside: very carefully
Jaime glances back, not taking his attention entirely off of the front

Teddy Reinside gently shuts it

Gabby: ...Uhm. Wow, frick...
Steph: ...Jesus Christ...
Gabby: Like, um... like how many?
Teddy Reinside counts on his fingers
Teddy Reinside: Ten.
Gabby: ...Friiiiiiiiiiick.
Teddy Reinside not even close
Jaime: ...How big?
Forrest: .....That was fast.
Steph: They weren't as big as that other one.
Teddy Reinside makes a vague gesture
Steph: They were smaller.
Teddy Reinside: This big.
Gabby: Probably faster, or something.
Jaime: Hopefully not stronger.
Forrest: Is it Go Time.
I still don
Steph: ...Is it?
Steph looks back
Forrest: *I still don't have a weapon, you guys get in front of me.
Steph: Hey. I just have my notebook.
Jaime: Should we start moving forward?
Ken: The man said we just have to get to Tartarus...
Gabby: That'sthat's how monster go, right? The little ones are the frickers who b
um-rush you, and the big ones are the beefy ones?
Forrest: Maybe in video games.
Jaime: ...And Tartarus could be anywhere.
...?
Steph: From, uh... what he said, they'll always keep coming.
Forrest: But in real life the small ones could just as easily rip you in half wi
th their bare hands.
Steph: Clearing them out won't help us much.
Jaime nods
Gabby: ...Well frick. Yeah, um... Maybe Tartarus is the door...?
Fawkes M.: Is that black square a door or something?
Narrator : yes
to nirvana
it's following them
Gabby: I mean, like... That door isn't usually there, so, um...
Forrest: Isn't that the door we just came out of.
Jaime: Seems like it.
Gabby: No, the one at the end of the hall. The nasty one.
Jaime keeps advancing
Forrest: ...Oh, the one that says Don't Open.
Gabby: Like, what even is a fricking tartarus?
Narrator : he explained it
Jaime: ...It's a gum disease, right?
Mobile L: ohp. Disregard, I suck dix
Steph: You guys...
Suzie: That's tartar.
Jaime: Right.
Forrest: ....You keep using that word.

How old are you again.

Fourteen, right.
Gabby: ...Me? Yeah. Uh. You got an issue with my vernacular?
Forrest: You know when I was fourteen I said fuck all the time.
Ken: Tartarus is a portion of the greek underworld.
Steph: Now isn't the time, you guys...
Ken: This can wait.
Gabby: ...Mrrrghh.
Gabby >:c
Forrest B|
Steph :v...
Nathan: Ew, wait.
There's some, uh...
Blood, on the floor.
Forrest: Blood, huh/
Gabby grumbles and keeps the especially annoying part of Atlas Shrugged marked w
ith her finger
Steph: Is it... fresh?
Gabby: ...Yeah, wow... Nice.
Forrest: ...Really adds to the ambience.
Gabby: ...frickin'...
Gabby CAUTIOUS ADVANCE...
Gabby only looks kinda scared and mostly just seems done with all this bullcrap
Steph is deeply frightened and trying not to show it
Forrest has had the same tired and grouchy look he's had since the moment you me
t him
Jaime still keeps his Gay Bulge at the ready, trying to remain focused
Gabby gives her glasses a frustrated little push up the ol' nose-bridge and forg
es on
Narrator : i just got a gift
Fawkes M.: What was it?
Narrator : like that shirt with the wolf on it
only
with a pug
Fawkes M.: Awwww
Mobile L: Awwww!
Space: thats sick
Mobile L: I have one kinda like that, except it's an orange cat
Narrator : Teddy and Nathan both slip on tbe blood.
Wait;
Does that mean it's still wet?
Fawkes M.: Bakas
Gabby: ...Frick. Uh. You guys okay?
Jaime: ...
Jaime they've got this - keep vigilant, Lancaster
Forrest: ...Do you think we weren't the first people through here, recently.
Teddy Reinside: I'm fine, I'm a-okay.
Gabby just tries to stay ready to Atlas Shrug a motherfricker

Nathan: It's just a little blood!

It doesn't scare me!
Gabby: ...'S a possibility... That, or, like... the monsters eat each other.
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
18
+
18
+
2
)+1
= 39
Nathan it freaks him out
Mobile L: Holy God, forrest
Space: strong american
Forrest: It's a disturbing situation, you don't have to act tough.
Nathan: Whah...?
Steph: It really is not the time for this.
Forrest: I'm sure everyone else is just as scared as you are.
Narrator : The door stares her down.
Gabby: ...frickin'... so close...
...better not be any frickin' dumb crap behind that goddang door, I frickin' swe
ar to god...
Nathan: But I'm not scared!
Forrest: Uh huh, right.
Gabby BRACE... YOURSELF... MY DEARRRRRR
Jaime: ...Can we not?
Nathan: Yeah, I am right.
Thanks.
Steph: You guys...
Forrest: Eyes open, hero.
Nathan nods
Nathan: I'll keep 'em open.
Narrator : The door groans open.
Space: what does nathan have against steph
that look he's giving her
Jaime resists the urge to bonk Forrest over the head, as he stares down the door
Gabby winces a bit and peers through... oh man... oh god
Narrator : wait a moment please
Gabby ...GOOD FRICKING THING I AM INVINCIBLE AND NOTHING AFFECTS ME AHAHAHA fric
k what the heck is this godforsaken hole
Steph: its mosnters
Mac D.: "hello"
Jaime: sup
Mac D.: "it's a surprise party"
Jaime: yaaaaaay
Mac D.: "we have made you a cookie pie"
Jaime: does it have ice cream?
Mac D.: "no"
Jaime: then PERISH
Mac D.: "but it does have BLUUUUUUUUUHD"
Jaime: ATTAAAAAACK
Mac D.: am i the only one here who's watched baman piderman
Narrator : yes

Fawkes M.: Probably

Narrator : The signs say they came from the cafeteria.
Space: ive seen it
Narrator : And that the Archive is up ahead.
This plae is really grungy and shit.
Steph: The archive...
Narrator : Through the window can be seen a butchery.
Forrest: Does it mean the library.
Steph: ...
Gabby: ...Ewwwww, frick that...
...God... Bleh. Nasty.
Forrest: .....Wonder what this place was serving.
Jaime: Just keep moving forward.
Gabby: People. You know it was frickin' people.
Forrest: Judging by the overall theme of the place, yeah, it was probably people
.
Gabby: So frickin' sick of this bullcrap...
Teddy Reinside: Wh- that's disgusting!?
Forrest: Would be a little silly for a rotting death school to serve beef.
Teddy Reinside: *no question mark
Why are you talking about eating people?
Gabby: Blehhhh...
Steph: ...What if it's... tofu?
Forrest: Would you prefer it if we walked through the scary building completely
silent.
Oh, yes.
Steph: Maybe we're in a vegetarian rotting death school, heh heh...
Forrest: The monsters are vegetarian, we're saved.
Gabby: Nyeheheh... Frick...
Forrest: I suppose tofu bleeds, too.
Gabby: They gotta get it to fool the vegans somehow.
Steph: That's just food coloring.
Forrest: Well then in that case, why don't we give the monsters a fond hello.
Get some vegan cooking tips.
Gabby: Oh, I'm gonna give 'em a frickin' hello, alright...
Forrest: Shouldn't you let the guy with the sharp stick take point.
Teddy Reinside: You know, that's really twisted.
Forrest: A light mood could be helpful in maintaining group morale, you know.
Teddy Reinside: We're in some hellhole full of monster's, and here we are talkin
g about tofu?
Forrest: You're showing excellent skill in being a buzkill.
Teddy Reinside: We're hunting for the truth, not playing games!
Gabby: Gotta keep it going somehow... Yeah, Jaime, you lead, I'll be right behin
d.
Jaime: As much as I hate to say it, Forrest has a point. At least stay behind me
and Ken.
Gabby: Just move over if anything looks like it needs some Randing.
Forrest: The truth isn't going to be offended by our bad jokes, I'm sure.
Steph: ...Are those voices, uh... where are they even coming from?
Gabby: The tofu, duh.
Space: move forrrrrward
Gabby: Nyehehehaha...
Steph smiles a little bit
Forrest: Do tofus have orgies.
Teddy Reinside: will you fucing move
Teddy Reinside gumbles under his breath
Gabby: ...Ewww, pfffft...! I mean, 's plants, right? Plants aren't monogan... mon
o... faithful to just one person.

Fawkes M.: We're forming a cafeteria line

Forrest: I'm in the cabboose here, sir. Can't exactly go anywhere.
Jaime watch yer corners, boi
Gabby: Probably get their gross spores all over the place, fricking like that...
Forrest: You three taking in the sights.
Suzie peers from side to side
Steph: Tofu spores?
Suzie: I didn't know tofu was a fungus.
Forrest: It's not.
Suzie: Someone should tell the spores that.
Jaime tries to peek around the corner, with the caution that comes from a man in
a firefight
Narrator : there's willem dafoe with a gun
Steph calls up to Jaime
Steph: Do you see anything?
Forrest: Do I have the make humorous horn-honking gestures to make this traffic
jam go any faster.
Narrator : he screams "IT WAS A FIRE FIGHT!!!"
Jaime: Hang on...
Narrator : other than that, it's clear
Jaime: It's clear.
Narrator : Wait.
Jaime: ...
Narrator : Roll mind just to look a little deeper.
Jaime: ...Wait.
Gabby: 'Kay, grea?
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Mind
{(
9
+
9
+
12
)}+-1
= 8
Mobile L: we're DEAD
Narrator : Yeah it's fine.
Space: the most frightening thing in the world:
a failed perception roll
"...yeah, nothing there"
Jaime: ...Stay behind me.
Nathan: Why are these hallways so narrow...?
Steph: Oh, it's a... should we split up?
Forrest: Doing a bang-up job at that, don't you worry.
Jaime starts to advance
Forrest: ...I'm sorry, what.
Gabby: Because they're built for vegans.
Steph: There's, like, an intersection.
Teddy Reinside: That's ridiculos!
Forrest: You never, ever split the party.
Teddy Reinside: You never split up, haven't you ever seen a movie?
Forrest: Do you want somebody to die.
Jaime: They're right.
Gabby: ...Yeah, uhm. Gotta side with Forrest here, we gotta stick together.
Steph: I mean, if it was like everyone going off on our lonesome... but what, th

ere's at least eight of us here?

Four that way, four that way...
Suzie: What if there are four monsters either way?
Nathan: ...
Forrest: I have little faith in eight-to-one odds against a monster as it is.
Nathan: That means there'll be eight monsters.
Steph: Okay, okay...
Gabby: It only works on Scooby Doo, and even then, frickin'... they're not allow
ed to kill people on Scooby Doo.
Forrest: Can we not mess around with the current ratio on our end, please and th
ank you.
Narrator : Jaime boldly goes.
Fawkes M.: BRB for a bit
Narrator : With Gabby.
Mac D.: you
piece of shit
Narrator : Shit literally dripping down the leg of his pants because he's been h
olding it in for a week.
Mobile L: I cannot not hear Forrest as cr1tikal
Mac D.: held it in so long his anus has prolapsed
Narrator : it's become ingrained
Space: we're going at the same speed we would have any way
Narrator : From the dark, a Nihilist!
Space: oh SHIT son
Mac D.: A GRUE
Narrator : It dances forth with perverse, fluid motions.
Steph: here's our chance for an all-out attack
Forrest: ....Is something going on over there.
Mobile L: ...Frick, a monster!
Forrest: I can't see around the corner, there's two asses in my way.
Gabby: i said that
Teddy Reinside: Speak for yourself!
Suzie: There's dfinitely a monster up ahead.
Forrest: Oh, good
Is it only one.
Jaime: Ye-Gabby: Just one, yeah!
Suzie: Oh, no, there's a second one.
Jaime: ...At least two.
Forrest: ....Great.
Gabby: ...Frick, nope, two.
Steph: Kill it!
Jaime: Right.
Nathan: ... I think it's kill THEM.
Gabby is RRRREADY TO ROLL FOR INITIATIVE
Mac D.: this is not what i envisioned the music for a fight with Mannequins to b
e
Jaime brandishes his long, hard spear
Space: i like it
Narrator : get used to it
Mobile L: They're dancing nihilists, it works
Mac D.: you know what you need to find
the fucking ship foghorn sound effect from SH2
that was the most horrifying shit
Narrator : i can find that
very easily
Space: lemme see if its on youtube

Gabby FRICKING LET ME ROLL FOR INITIATIVE YOU FRICKS

Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9i88E6Wb44
Jaime I'M WITH GABBY, LET US ROLL THIS FUCKING SHIT
Space: oh no thats not it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zeeq2fYbfGY
Narrator : well roll then
Gabby: rolling 1d20
(
14
)
= 14
Steph: rolling 1d20
(
2
)
= 2
Jaime TIME TO LET GO OF THIS MONTH-OLD SHIT
Mac D.: no the foghorn was what i was talking about
Jaime: rolling 1d20
(
17
)
= 17
Space: damn it
Gabby: >:C >:C >:C
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
20
)
= 20
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
= 15
Forrest: rolling 1d20
(
19
)
= 19
Narrator : you are dead
Forrest: guess again fucko
Space: go forrest go
Forrest: it's showtime
Space: he whips out a grenade launcher
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
12
)
= 12
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
= 12
rolling 1d20
(
20

)
= 20
Gabby: k-ken is hero...
Fawkes M.: Miracle Man Ken
Space: the hero approaches
Ken just summons his sword and throws it at a Nihilist
Space: it hits jaime in the lung
Ken: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Spirit
{(
3
+
14
+
14
)}+2
= 16
Jaime: ow
Gabby: :D
Ken: rolling 1d8 + 2 for damage
(
5
)+2
= 7
Gabby: c:
Ken 's blade cuts deep into it, slicing off a limb
Gabby:
Narrator : The Perverse Nihilist dances through the air in a really uncomfortabl
e manner.
Gabby: :>
Narrator : It flies onto Jaime, trying to wrap its legs around his midsection
Mobile L: Reminder that more art of Gabby exists https://cdn1.artstation.com/p/a
ssets/images/images/000/610/165/large/yewon-park-character2.jpg?1443931597
Narrator : Roll to dodge
and you know what
Fawkes M.: Can he roll to counterattack?
Space: sick sketches
Narrator : fuck you, decreased
sure
decreased if you want to dodge
because
look
at this fucking hallway
Mac D.: wouldn't it make more sense for the counterattack to be the decreased ro
ll
Narrator : granted
shut uo
Jaime isn't gonna dodge that shit in this narrow hallway, instead going for a st
raight thrust to catch it
Fawkes M.: I presume this ain't decreased?
Narrator : nope
Fawkes M.: Aww yeh
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
12
+
12
+

4
)}+1
= 13
Narrator : Jaime thrusts deeply
The spear stabs into it.
Mobile L: :-)!!!!!!!
Narrator : rolling 1d8 + 1
(
4
)+1
= 5
Jaime: Alright...
Narrator : Hey, Forrest.
You just immediatly go into action mode.
Forrest: ...
Narrator : It's time to solve a mystery.
Forrest makes his way to round the corner
Mobile L: let's do this shit
Forrest: 'Scuse me, Pardon me, Coming through.
Narrator : Forrest shove past everyone else
Steph: H-hey--!
Gabby: D:
Narrator : He pushes Steph into the wall.
Gabby:
>:|
Narrator : Nearly crushes Gabby.
Forrest: ....Wow, fuck, these things are nasty.
Gabby: ...Mmf... You'd better frickin' hit that thing hard.
Forrest: Alright, time to try out my new magic powers.
.........................
Narrator : forrest explodes
Forrest: How do I use my new magic powers.
What do you guys do.
Jaime: Are you serious?!
Steph: Make something up!
Forrest: Uh, okay. They explode.
.......
Jaime probably still has that Nihilist skewer
Forrest: I don't think making shit up works.
Steph: Oh my god!!
Mr. Mu: They shall come to you, my child, summon thy strength!
Gabby: Frickin'...! Just try whatever, that's how we learned!
Forrest: Wait fuck where'd you come from.
Mr. Mu is speaking from the doorway
Gabby: will you fricking please........
Forrest: ....Okay. I don't think I've ever summoned strength before.
Space: the two nihilists look at each other confusedly
Jaime: HOW ARE YOU A SAGE?!?!
Mr. Mu: literally just
Space: one still wriggling at the end of jaime's spear
Mr. Mu: attack in whatever fashion
you see fit
Forrest: ......
Gabby: D:<
Forrest stares at the Nihilist not skewered on the spear
Forrest: ............

Narrator : It thrusts its "hips" at him.

Gabby:
Forrest: .......
Gabby: |:<
Forrest points at it
Forrest demands in his mind that it reveal its concealed vulnerabilities to him
Gabby:
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
20
+
1
+
16
)+1
= 38
Gabby: ?:<
Space: kick it in the dick
Narrator : Its joints seem to pulse with a lot of... dark ichor. Hitting those m
ight cause its life to drain quickly.
Forrest: ...Hey, Hair Gel.
Hit that one.....there, there, and there.
Gabby did, um... did he even do anything, or...?
Forrest makes the ichor-spewing joints light up
Jaime: ...
Hair gel?
Gabby: !
Narrator : It's like a nightlight.
Forrest: Go.
Gabby: ...Whoa, frick. Just do what he says, Jaime!
Jaime pulls out the spear, then goes for those joints
Jaime with the spear
Fawkes M.: Increased?
Mobile L: Can we have this increased please?
Narrator : what does the trait say duff
Fawkes M.: Seems like a bolster to me
Forrest: Tears away the Layers of Deception to reveal an enemy's "true self." Se
lect a single target. That target takes an extra die of damage from all successf
ul attacks until the effect is applied onto a different target.
Fawkes M.: Oh
Narrator : also duff forrest needs a plus one in one stat
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
19
+
11
+
3
)}+1
= 12
Mac D.: he has one
in mind
Jaime: phew
Narrator : it didn't say on the sheet for some reason

Mac D.: odd it says on the sheet for me

Fawkes M.: BRB again
Narrator : Jaime removes his spear from the stabbed one
And thrusts into the joints of the second one.
rolling 2d8 + 1
(
3
+
8
)+1
= 12
Space: ka-pow
Narrator : Ichor everwhere
Forrest: ..Gross.
Gabby: ...Friiiiiiiick! Dang, that's...
Narrator : The second one curls up for a moment.
Forrest: Took one for the team, there. Good job.
Narrator : Before letting out a bloodchilling sound
Forrest: ...!
Gabby: !
Forrest covers his ears
Forrest: ...Shit...That's loud...
Gabby ummmm ahahaha... frRIIIIIIICK
Steph: Is-- is that an air raid siren??
Gabby: JIMMINY FRICKLE CHRISTMAS
Narrator : There is a rapidlyly approachign sound from the other hall.
Steph: ...!!
Gabby: ...Um. Um what's up there.
Narrator : A legless Nihilist begins clawing towards the party
Mac D.: ALEX SHEPARD SAVE US
Mobile L: Eeheehee
Narrator : And tiny, knife-wielding Nihilists rush up behind the dancing ones.
Mac D.: HARRY MASON SAVEUS
Space: midgets
Gabby: ...Ahhhh FRICK.
Gabby gets on her RAND FACE
Forrest: ...Odds are tipping against our favor.
Gabby: I am frickin' in a tipping mood, then...!
Mobile L: can I go
Forrest: ...Do you have to say it all the time.
Gabby: YES I DO.
Narrator : yes
it's your turn gab
Gabby FORGES AHEAD VIOLENTLY
Gabby: HUP!
Gabby GETS OUT THAT ONE PASSAGE OF ATLAS SHRUGGED
Gabby RRRRRRRAND CANNON at the little guys...!
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
3
+
8
+
12

)}+1
= 9
Mobile L: shit and fuck
Narrator : The Nihilist kicks the book out of her hand.
Gabby: MOTHERFRICKER
Gabby is SO MAD NOW
Steph: Fuck... how many of them are there?!
Narrator : The Fearsome Nihilist immediatly takes a horrible swipe at Suzie
Forrest: Are there more over on your end.
Gabby: FOUR OVER HERE, HOWEVER MANY UP THERE.
Steph: There's one with claws!
Forrest: Yeah we're dealing with four over here.
Gabby: THAT IS FIVE THEN.
Narrator : She tries to jump back
Forrest: Is it one of those big ones you were talking about.
Steph: It-- it's huge!!
Narrator : rolling {3d20kl1} + 1 for decreased Finesse
{(
8
+
19
+
1
)}+1
= 2
Space: jesus shit goodbye suzie
Mac D.: thus ends the storie of suzoe
Narrator : It just fucking craves into her
Forrest: How huge.
Mobile L: fuck
Narrator : rolling 3d8
(
1
+
4
+
4
)
= 9
Steph: NO!
Forrest: "No"'s not really an answer.
Gabby: WHAT. WHAT'S HAPPENING UP THERE?
Suzie screams
Forrest: ........Oh.
Gabby: ...FRICK!
Nathan charges past her
Forrest: Things are going bad up there, I think.
Nathan: Hey, buzz off, freak!
Gabby just makes an enraged, incoherent noise
Nathan goes to punch it in the mouth-vagina
Space: it's gonna bite off his hand
Nathan: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
9
+

15
+
12
)}+1
= 13
Space: oh shit
Mobile L: NATHAN YOU A GOOD BOY
Forrest: Not exactly the glorious end I'd hope I'd get out of this.
Nathan: rolling 1d8 + 1
(
7
)+1
= 8
Gabby ANGRIER NOISE
Narrator : Nathan sends its head to the side, where it meats the wall with a mea
ty sound.
Forrest: Torn apart by my first monster encounter, next to a kid making weird no
ises.
Gabby RRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!
Suzie looks down at her bleeding gash
Forrest: Maybe with my added girth it'll take them longer to rip me apart.
Suzie calms down instantly
Forrest: You could probably get a decent running start if I was taken out first.
Gabby just has the look of someone who wants to commit grievous acts of violence
in retribution for wrongdoings but cannot
Gabby: . . .
Suzie turns to Steph, with iron in her eyes
Suzie bolsteres Steph
Steph ...
Steph starts writing in her book at the Fearsome Nihilist
Steph: [G O T O H E L L]
Fawkes M.: AAAGH what'd I miss
Steph: rolling {3d20kh1} + 1 for increased Finesse
{(
14
+
3
+
16
)}+1
= 17
Suzie: things are getting shitty
Mac D.: we's fucked boyo
Mobile L: Suzie got hurt
Space: suzie got clawed to shit
Suzie: The words fly at the Nihilist
rolling 1d8 + 1
(
2
)+1
= 3

Gabby seethes quietly and waits for her opportunity to grab her crap back
Narrator : The G gets it, but it paws the rest of the letters away
Steph: Got it!!
Fawkes M.: Ah, hell
Forrest: Are things improving on your end.
Steph: -- God dammit!
Gabby: .........
Narrator : Ken goes to stab it in th juggular
Gabby: >:C
Ken: Get back!
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Spirit
{(
16
+
10
+
8
)}+2
= 12
Gabby oh frick, Ken
Ken: rolling 1d8 + 2
(
6
)+2
= 8
Mac D.: what should forrest's weapon be, when/if he gets one
Gabby ...OH FRICK, KEN! :D
Mobile L: Be like Gab and take up the book of violence
Narrator : The Perverse Nihilist returns to the object of its...
Space: spirit javelins
Mac D.: errbody's gota book
Narrator : Interest.
Space: ghost atlatl
Narrator : Jaime.
Jaime: hi
Narrator : And tries wrapping its legs around his midsection again
Space: intangible glaive
Forrest: ...Watch out, Hair Gel. It likes you.
Space: haunted halberd
Gabby: FRICK IT UP.
Jaime: I know, I know!
Space: a gun
Mac D.: what do you think, seer
Narrator : a magnifiying glass that shoots lasers
Mac D.: you know that's exactly what i was thinking
Mobile L: Yehhhh boiiiii
Jaime goes to stab it in one of the leg joints, intent on maiming it
Space: no a gun
Mac D.: shoots searing heat beams that burns away deception
Mobile L: Perf
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
13
+
13
+

15
)}+1
= 14
Narrator : Okay.
Now.
That's also decreased, but that doesn't matter.
Because that was a fairly complicated thing.
To specifically
Get it in the joint while it's juqing and jiving.
Space: Westeros Jesus
Mobile L: But he dood it
Narrator : rolling 2d8 + 1
(
4
+
7
)+1
= 12
Jaime: imma just that good
Narrator : Its limbs just blow off.
And it withers and dissolves on the floor.
Jaime: Hah!
Forrest: Nice work.
Mobile L: I think I only have another 45 minutes to an hour, y'awl
Jaime: There we go!
Mac D.: YOU CAN DO IT
Gabby: GOOD.
Teddy Reinside just stares at all of this
Mac D.: YOU CAN PERSEVERE
YOU
CAN
GO
Steph: D-did you get it??
Mac D.: ALL
THE
WAY
Forrest: Yeah, we got one.
Jaime: I did! One of them, at least.
Teddy Reinside: Uh...
Mobile L: ehehe no i cain't, or i will be in trouble with people
Teddy Reinside is tempted to jump into the door
Forrest: You should probably pay attention to the big one.
Teddy Reinside grabs a rock from the floor and throws it at the Fearsome Nihilis
t, not even using his powers
Teddy Reinside: rolling {3d20kl1} + 0 for decreased brawn
{(
20
+
18
+
1
)}+0
= 1
Space: holy shit
if it wasn't decrease
Teddy Reinside throws the rock at it

Space: look at that fucking roll

Mac D.: it embeds itself into one of suzie's gashes
Narrator : It becomes
Absolutely enraged.
And goes ballistic on those next to it
Steph: G-gh-!
Gabby: !!!
Narrator : rolling 2d8
(
1
+
7
)
= 8
rolling 2d8
(
3
+
2
)
= 5
rolling 2d8
(
1
+
2
)
= 3
Gabby: KEN!
G-GUYS!
Gabby oh frick... ohhhh frick...
Gabby: ........
Gabby this just...
Gabby MAKES ME...
Teddy Reinside: ...
Gabby A N G R I E R
Teddy Reinside: Oh.
Forrest: ...Alright, let's finish up over here before everybody gets mulched.
Gabby RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH
Jaime: ...dammit.
Forrest stares intently at one of the smaller Nihilists
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
16
+
19
+
2
)+1
= 38
Jaime: You're not gonna ask again, are you?
Steph: Wh-- what the hell was that?!
Narrator : Honestly these things are just one big weakpoint.
It would take nothing to rupture their thin skin.

Forrest: .....Those small ones are fucking tissue. Go nuts.

Space: im picturing the midget nihilists just going
Narrator : The nives, however...
Space: 'nyehehehehehe' as they run
Narrator : Those aren't very nice.
Forrest: ......
Gabby: hey no that's my laugh
Forrest: .....Don't let them cut you, though.
Teddy Reinside: I-I Wh- I was nervous!
Jaime: Thanks, thanks.
Forrest: Honestly I'm appreciating this combat role I'm settling into.
Steph: I-it's gonna be fine! It's gonna be oka
Forrest: Telling other people to hit things on my behalf.
Jaime go go gadget skewer attempt from a distance
Steph: *okay!
Jaime on the tiny one
Gabby would encourage him but is too FRICKING TICKED ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING
Fawkes M.: Normal Finesse?
Narrator : you know
it's a really small target
Fawkes M.: Fiiiine
Space: slash downwards instead of skewering
Jaime: 2late
rolling {3d20kl1} + 1 for decreased Finesse
{(
3
+
8
+
18
)}+1
= 4
Narrator : sidways would be the better method but space doesn't know shit abotu
shit
Space: no room sideways you chump
Narrator : Jaime misses the fucker as it runs.
Forrest: ...A for effort.
Watch the knife.
Narrator : It just bolts to him and tries to shank him in the ankle
Jaime: ...Whoa!
Gabby: D:<
Jaime tries to lift his ankle up in time
Fawkes M.: Finesse?
Narrator : sure
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
19
+
4
+
6
)}+1
= 7
Narrator : Jaime gets a poisoned knife to the ankle.
Forrest: ....Shit....
Jaime: Agh--!

Narrator : rolling 2d8

(
6
+
5
)
= 11
Gabby: FRICK.
Jaime: Think I... get what you mean...
Gabby has FRICKING HAD IT... WITH THESE MOTHERFRICKING NIHILISTS IN THIS MOTHERF
RICKING ROOM
Forrest takes a step back
Forrest: Get the small ones first, small ones take priority.
Narrator : The Perverse Nihilist that summoned these fucking things goes to kick
Gabby in the face
Space: imagine
just a few hours ago
Gabby: ARRRRRRRGHHHHHH!
Space: they were pretending to be european powers in history class
Gabby tries to get her Bookbag of Void out in front of her face before it can
Mobile L: What stat?
Narrator : spirit or brawn
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 0 for Spirit
{(
7
+
15
+
13
)}+0
= 13
Fawkes M.: I legit thought that the half dozen sessions after the Archetype awak
ening was all one night
Mac D.: i feel like forrest is the spotter in an mmo raid
Forrest: whelps
left side
even side
many whelps
now, handle it
Mobile L: He's keeping this thing afloat
Space: LEROOOOOOOOOY
Narrator : It was about to get her right in the eye, but its limb bounces off th
e book
Jaime: yeah i fucking get it thank you very much
Forrest: what the fuck was that
Space: JENKINS
Forrest: that's a fucking 50 dkp minus
Gabby: ...........
Jaime: you actually play that shit?
Gabby: FRICK YOU ALL
Gabby GETS THAT FRICKING BOOK
Gabby FLIPS TO THAT FRICKING PASSAGE
Space: just picture mobile with a copy of atlas shrugged by her computer
Gabby TRIES TO RAND THESE LITTLE FRICK-BUTT DONG-EATING POOPLORDS TO FRICKING DE

ATHHHHH
Space: hastily transcribing shitty speeches
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
8
+
6
+
5
)}+1
= 7
Narrator : who is john galt
Mobile L: hbdhouwuihfbwdhuifw3hfeuhifuhiwhuifhiuf3ihuf3wiuhfehui
Narrator : It just fucking kicks the book again.
Mobile L: UBde89y23y8r2fih8u39 u0[r3 uy8r\
8hr98yr98y46rtu89i
shit shit shir shit shit
Fawkes M.: Those 35K words is probably gonna be her finishing move in the final
battle
Mac D.: gabby is going to have a fucking gein-styled anger induced heart attack
Space: the whole battle is just to bide the enemys time
Mobile L: Good thing she is so young
Fawkes M.: No, Mobile will
Space: so gabby can finish it
Mac D.: gabby the destroyer
Gabby:

Narrator : The Fearsome Nihilist goes to gore its attackers on its claws.
Gabby: EEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!
Forrest: ....I don't think they understood you.
Narrator : rolling 3d20
(
15
+
10
+
13
)
= 38
rolling 3d20
(
19
+
13
+
15
)
= 47
Fawkes M.: She then proceeds to shut the Third Heaven on everyone else
Narrator : rolling 3d20
(
18
+
3
+
8
)
= 29
Forrest: I could barely understand you. Half of that was angry gibberish.

Space: ooh
Jaime: ...nnngh...
Space: *oof
Gabby is in no mood
Narrator : rolling 2d8
(
2
+
5
)
= 7
rolling 2d8
(
2
+
5
)
= 7
Mobile L: ahahahah man okay
Forrest: i'll go get some glue
Fawkes M.: Does this campaign have a dojo?
Narrator : Ken...
Steph: the meat shields are serving their purpose admirably
Narrator : He's not doing so hot...
Gabby GYEG&PEGOYOE&@T&RB^R@^E@^E&@&E@&^E&^BE@*YENYN
Narrator : Nathan goes to just give it another haymaker
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
14
+
18
+
3
)}+1
= 15
rolling 1d8 + 1
(
7
)+1
= 8
Gabby
Fawkes M.: What ethnicity is Nathan?
Narrator : good question
Mac D.: aryan
Fawkes M.: Good Question Jesus
Mobile L: He looks vaguely Hispanic
Space: Dweeb Jesus
Narrator : his last name is pyrce
Mac D.: really he just looks like a mildly tan white guy to me
Space: yes
Mobile L: Tan Anglo Jesus
Narrator : Suzie dodges out of the way of the claw
Space: i had this conversation with seer, all of the npcs are white
Mac D.: gosh mobile are all your white people pale as the newfallen snow in texa
s
Fawkes M.: Even the black ones?
Mac D.: you racist

Space: well all the students at least

Narrator : She looks at Steph again, that same uncomprimising look in her eyes
SIEG FUCKING HEIL
Mobile L: We can't go outside because it's too hot to live
;_;
Steph grits her teeth, writing at a breakneck pace
Steph: rolling {3d20kh1} + 1 for increased Finesse
{(
10
+
18
+
10
)}+1
= 19
[DIE]
Narrator : rolling 1d8 + 1
(
7
)+1
= 8
Fawkes M.: KIRA
Gabby still vibrating with sheer fury while it isn't her turn again
Fawkes M.: I AM THE KIRA
WE ARE THE KIRA
Narrator : The D gets lodged in its mouth
Fawkes M.: EVEN YOU KIRA
DOY
Forrest: ...Breathe.
Space: oh my god
Gabby ANGRY BREATHS
Space: the d is stuck in its mouth
Gabby actual froth
Narrator : Ken goes to decapitate it.
Forrest: .....
Mobile L: Munching on the D
Narrator : rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Spirit
{(
13
+
20
+
4
)}+2
= 15
It's dead.
Forrest takes a teensy step away from gabby
Gabby have you ever seen such an angry child, Forrest
Narrator : It dissolves into black, lumpy paste
Steph: I-it's down! It's down!
Forrest: Oh, good.
Gabby: IS IT
Forrest: Please come help before Hair Gel dies and the child explodes.
Steph: Oh, god... a-are you guys okay?

Narrator : The second little asshole goes past Gabby and tries to stick a knife
in Forrest
Forrest: I don't feel safe.
Gabby: JAIME IS POISONED.
Forrest: ....!
Jaime: ...ghh...
Forrest tries taking a big step back to avoid the knife thrust
Narrator : that pnt for air
Forrest: rolling 3d20 -1
(
10
+
3
+
3
)-1
= 15
Narrator : was jaime
Gabby AAAAAAAAAAA WHY IS IT NOT MY FRICKING TURN
Narrator : Forrest was stuck with a knife
Forrest: ...!
Narrator : rolling 2d8
(
6
+
8
)
= 14
Forrest: Gh-.......
Gabby: MOTHERFRICKER THAT IS IT I HAVE HAD IT
Fawkes M.: Which archetype is analagous to a healer?
Forrest: Would you quit......screaming....
Narrator : caregiver buffs
probably can heal
Fawkes M.: What about Sage?
Space: sage debuffs
Teddy Reinside: I'LL HELP YOU!
Mac D.: i give buffs and debuffs but i don't heal
Fawkes M.: Dammit, so much for Savior Teddy
Forrest: oh god, please no....
Gabby ...
Teddy Reinside: Uh, uh...!
Jaime: ...
Steph: You can- you can do it!!
Teddy Reinside just begins freaking out
Forrest: .....
Forrest looks up at Teddy
Teddy Reinside: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
3
+
1
+
14
)}+1

= 4
Teddy Reinside passes out
Forrest: .......
Gabby: ..........
Jaime: .........
Steph: ...........
Gabby ENRAGED
Teddy Reinside: wait
Forrest turns to punt the Nihilist what stabbed him
Forrest: rolling 3d20
(
1
+
9
+
9
)
= 19
Narrator : rolling 1d4
(
4
)
= 4
that's for you, forrest
that's from the poison
Forrest: ...Gck....!....
Narrator : Forrest is too fucked up from the poison to kick straight
Forrest clutches his wound, actually changing his expression for fuckin once to
wince in pain
Gabby FRICKFRICKFRICKFRICKFRICKFRICKFRICKFRICKFRICK
Narrator : and jaime
Forrest: ....Stop.....
Narrator : rolling 1d4
(
1
)
= 1
Jaime: ...Dammit...
Narrator : for you
Space: hes made of sterner stuff than the fat man
Gabby is there an off button on this child, probably not
Mac D.: you'd think a fat man would be affected by poison slower
Jaime doesn't feel like thrusting at anything anymore, so he just tries to sweep
-slash at the small Nihilist
Narrator : Jaime's drank some really bad shit before, he'll be fine.
Space: jaime's probably taller than forrest
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 0 for Brawn
{(
15
+
17
+
11

)}+0
= 15
Narrator : It pops into black slude
Fawkes M.: Gonna decrease that?
Space: ~kingsguard jesus~
Jaime: ...Heh... heheh...
Forrest: ....You missed one...
Jaime: ...
Narrator : The Perverse Nihilist goes to kick Gabby in the face again
Jaime: ...!
Forrest: ....
Gabby tries to suck it the frick into the fricking backpack that is a fricking b
lackhole she is SO FRICKING DONE
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 0 for Spirit
{(
5
+
4
+
12
)}+0
= 5
Narrator : you know
i'm going to allow that
Mobile L: Thank
Narrator : don't rool
Mac D.: no
Narrator : it's going in the pack
Mac D.: no let gabby's rage go white hot
Gabby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFRICKYOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Fawkes M.: It's gonna be important in the final battle
Forrest: ........
Narrator : There's still that
Fucking
Midget
Forrest: ....
Gabby: ........
Jaime: .....
Forrest stomps on it
Narrator : Jumping around
Gabby was gonna do that but was beat to the punch
Narrator : Splat.
Steph: ...I-is everyone okay?
Forrest: ....Problem solved.....Gh...
....No.
Gabby hhhhhhhhhhrrrghh...
Jaime: ...Not exactly...
Gabby: ...They're both poisoned...
Forrest: ...Who's dead on your end.
Steph: No one's dead, um... guys, are you okay?
Forrest: I just said No.....
Gabby does that post-angry thing where you pant
Steph was talking to the npc fucks

Forrest is poisoned and can't see

Ken: ...
Jaime now using that spear as a crutch
Ken: We're fine.
We're all fine.
Forrest: ...Where's that fucking door....
Steph: Okay, um... anyone who thinks they can do-- like, first aid or something,
help out quick.
Ken: Ken walks into Nirvana
Forrest hobbles over and knocks on it
Gabby: ...Does anyone frickin'... have healing powers or whatever?
Steph: Try to -- are you supposed to suck out the poison? Use a tourniquet?
Mr. Mu: Hello!
Steph: Uh...
Gabby:
Steph clutches her notebook protectively
Forrest: Yeah, hi......You got tylenol or something....
Mr. Mu stands in the doorway
Steph goes over to Teddy
Mr. Mu: I have not any mortal medicines.
Steph checks for a pulse
Forrest: Okay....You got medicine for creepy knife poison.
Mr. Mu: But some rest in Nirvana may help with the venom in your veins.
Forrest: ....Are you-.....hrk...How's a fucking nap gonna help.
Steph: C'mon... wake up...
Mr. Mu: Nirvana is the state for which you want for nothing.
Teddy Reinside opens one ye
Forrest: Oh for fuck's.......Fine, fine......Everybody in the door.
Teddy Reinside: ... Holy shit!
You're not dead!
Forrest stumbles his way though
Teddy Reinside sits up
Steph: We beat them, get up...
Gabby: ...Frickin'... You heard the man, get in the goddang Nirvana.
Gabby goes to help Jaime in
Steph: Uh-- okay, c'mon.
Steph sits down against the wall
Forrest looks at the other npc kids
Gabby is still residually mad and looks like an angry little radish
Jaime: ...Urgh, thanks...
Forrest: .....Christ, you look like shit.
Gabby: ...Sure.
Mr. Mu is pristine as always
Fawkes M.: Jeezus, Ken
Gabby looks concernedly at Ken

Mr. Mu: everyone gain ten hp

Steph: i didn't get hurt at all :^)
Mac D.: what happened to ken i didn't see
Mr. Mu: ken has 30 hp to start with
Forrest: applause for the fucking coward everybody
Fawkes M.: We type this in?
Mr. Mu: not max hp
Gabby looks him over concernedly
Mr. Mu: current hp
but yes
Steph: ...That was-Mac D.: my current life's no listed
Ken seems very revitilized
Steph: ...
Ken: ...
there i did it for you
Forrest: Nobody died
Gabby oh thank god... and science, mostly science.
Gabby meek shoulder-pat
Steph: That was too close...
Jaime: ...Agh.
Forrest: I wonder if they're all like that.
.......
Jaime: It's a lot nicer when there's just one.
Forrest: ......Hey.
Forrest looks at Steph
Gabby: Y-yeah, no goddang kiddin'!
Forrest: You have a notebook, right,
Ken: ...
Steph: Y-yeah.
Steph holds it up
Forrest: Give it here.
Steph: No.
Forrest: 'Scuse me.
Steph: What do you need it for?
Forrest: I need to write something down.
Steph: I can write it.
Gabby:
Jaime: ...
Mr. Mu: Please, do make use of our facilities!
Forrest: What, you don't think I have legible handwriting or something,
Mr. Mu: There is a computer here.
Mobile L: Gotta sleep in like, twenty
Space: he shows it off like the lady on the price is right
it's got a spotlight on it
Jaime: 1000
that's the price i name
Mr. Mu: show me the money
Gabby: 750!
Steph: You're supposed to have your own notebook for school.
Jaime: bitch, i'm a lancaster
Mr. Mu: you're both wrong you fucking idiots
Forrest: It's my first day.
three bucks

Mr. Mu: it's 0

Gabby: frick you gotta hell
Jaime: yeah, but i'm clos-Forrest: oh cool does that mean i win
Jaime: eff off
Gabby: *heck
Steph: So?
Jaime: no, gabby
fuck you gotta hell
Mr. Mu: you get the shitty computer
Jaime: that's how you fucking say it
Forrest: Didn't exactly have time to buy school supplies yet.
Gabby: i will not taint my lips with swears
Forrest: What with the unpacking.
Steph: Okay, just use his computer.
Mr. Mu stands by the computer
Forrest: Are you serious
Steph: That's what it's there for!
Forrest looks at Mr. Mu.
Space: don't check mr. mu's browser history
Gabby continues to linger by Ken
Forrest: ...Does that have a printer to go with it.
Ken is just quiet
Gabby:
Mr. Mu: Allow me to see if I cannot retrieve one...
Forrest looks back at Steph
Mr. Mu walks out the door
Fawkes M.: It's Monji's history
Forrest: Just let me borrow the book.
Fawkes M.: Mr. Monji Mu
Space: its just picvtures of rin
Steph: No!
Gabby isn't sure if she should say something, or... I mean, maybe he needs the q
uiet...
Mr. Mu: rin's gaping vagina
Jaime: Guys, can we not?
Forrest: What is so important about that freaking book that you can't let me hav
e it for ten seconds.
Mobile L: *defenseless anus
Fawkes M.: Knew it
Steph: It's mine, that's what. Tell him, Jaime.
Mr. Mu: steph drew dicks all over it
Forrest: You know, sharing's something they teach you in kindergarten.
Jaime: How would you feel if I just took something of yours, Forrest?
That isn't sharing.
Steph: Thank you...
Forrest: How is that a comparison.
Gabby oh god are they really...? mruh...
Ken coughs a bit
Forrest: I'm asking to borrow the book for a brief moment.
Jaime: And she said no.

Teddy Reinside: Uh...

Gabby:
Teddy Reinside pulls out a checkboo
Gabby pat pat...
Forrest: I would like a valid reason as to why I can't.
Teddy Reinside: You can write it on the back of one of these!
Forrest: Is there porn in it, is that why.
Steph: No!
Jaime: Because she said no?
Forrest: Do you use it as a diary.
Teddy Reinside: Hey, kid!
Space: his checkbook is empty, like his bank account
Gabby god u guise...
Forrest looks at the checkbook
Teddy Reinside gives him a check with nothing on it
Teddy Reinside: Use this!
Forrest: .....
Gabby fricking americans...
Forrest looks at it.
Forrest: ...
Forrest looks around to see if there's a stapler
Gabby jimminy fricking chrysler
Narrator : roll mind
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
20
+
10
+
11
)+1
= 42
Ken: ...
Steph is very displeased
Steph clutches her notebook closely
Narrator : He finds a rusty old piece of shit stapler.
Jaime this guy is literally and figuratively gonna weigh them down
Space: tubby
Forrest: ......
...Figures. Alright, gimmie the checkbook.
Narrator : jaime is just cruel
Teddy Reinside just hands it over
Teddy Reinside: I wasn't going to use it anyway.
Forrest: I'll need something to write with.
Forrest takes it

Teddy Reinside pulls a pen out of his pocket

Teddy Reinside: Ahah!
Forrest: Alright, thanks.
Forrest takes the pen
Teddy Reinside: A Reinside always comes prepared.
Space: i love teddy
Jaime: (Thank you, Teddy...)
Space: he's useless, but he has heart
Mobile L: He tries so hard
Ten minnits
Fawkes M.: Jaime's shifted away his Sage hate
Forrest jots things down on the back of two checks, and tears them out, grabbing
the stapler and walking over to Steph
Steph: ...
Narrator : each one has a word on it
"FUCK" and "YOU"
Jaime: ...Do you have to staple it on?
Forrest: I want you to staple these into your book.
Narrator : he staples it onto jaime's face
Forrest: Is that too much to ask, Your Highness.
Steph: Okay, explain why.
Forrest: Read them.
Gabby ...gawd... why can't he just go back to texas or wherever...
Steph takes them to look at
Ken: Are you alright, Gabby?
Space: "oh, i am now that you're talking to me, ken~~"
Gabby: ...Y-yeah, uhm... I'm fine... Just kinda got overwhelmed with the fight..
.
Suzie rubs the mark where the gash was
Forrest has written analyses of both the small and perverse Nihilists on each re
spective check, pointing out their properties and weak points (joints, poison kn
ives, etc.)
Steph: I could have just copied these down in the first place...
Steph staples them to the back cover
Gabby MURRICANS ARE ALL THE SAME, RRRRGHH...
Steph: *inside back cover
Forrest: And I could have written them down and given the book right back to you
, but you wanted to make things difficult.
Nathan: I was pretty overhwelmed too.
Gabby LAME AND MEAN AND FAT AND DUMB JUST LIKE DAD... STUPID DAD...
Nathan: ...
Steph: I don't like giving people my notebook, okay? Jesus Christ.
Nathan: It was kind of scary.
Gabby: ...Yeah... You... You guys did good, though...
Forrest: It's a notebook.
Gabby sighs
Steph: Yeah, I know it's a goddamn notebook.
Teddy Reinside: Stop it, you kids.
Forrest: Do you just don't like other people touching your things, is that it.
Gabby: ...Wish I coulda done more, but... oh well, I guess...

Teddy Reinside: Just cut it out.

Jaime: And Teddy's a Sage. Does that mean that we don't need y...
Steph says nothing
Forrest: ....
Teddy Reinside: Okay, I might not be the smartest one here.
But I'm the oldest.
Forrest looks back at Jaime
Teddy Reinside: That means I'm in charge.
Forrest: You're right. We do have more than one sage, don't we.
Teddy Reinside: So just stop, please, for the love of Christ.
Gabby ...rrrgh... really is like dad... maybe a bit more tolerable, but STILL...
Space: i still have that mental voice of teddy
Teddy Reinside: Can't hear myself think with all thise fighting...
Space: of that one guy who called the radio station saying saskatchewan winters
are godawful
Forrest: Which means I suppose the two of us are expendable until one croaks.
Jaime just doesn't listen to Forrest, looking over at Teddy
Jaime: Sorry about that.
Steph just
Teddy Reinside: It's fine, just don't keep it going.
Steph gets to grumpily writing in her notebook
Gabby ...fricking... go back to texas, seriously...
Teddy Reinside: Hey, uh, kid.
Teddy Reinside gestures to Forrest
Teddy Reinside: What's your name?
Forrest: ...It's Forrest.
Suzie: ...
We all could have died, but we didn't.
Steph: ...Hey, Jaime, could you come look at this?
Gabby: ...Mmmmyep.
Forrest: Yeah, we're lucky.
Jaime: ...
Teddy Reinside: I'm Teddy Reinside.
Jaime goes over to Steph
Forrest: Nice to meet you.
Steph points out something in her notebook
Teddy Reinside: Head of the Reinside Institute for the Truth.
Forrest: The Truth, huh.
Teddy Reinside: Yeah, I study the conspiracies of the world.
The Bohemian Hunt.
Los Illuminatos.
Aliens.
The Pope.
Jaime: ...
Jaime nods
Forrest: Los Illuminatos....Haven't heard of that one.
Jaime: Don't mention it.

Steph smiles up at him

Steph: ...
Steph looks over at the shitty computer
Ken: How did your side of the fight go?
Gabby cleans her glasses off with her sweater
Forrest: None of us died, either.
Narrator : It's old.
Gabby: ...Uhh... Pretty crap. We managed, but pretty crap.
Jaime smiles back, and then follows her gaze over to the computer
Steph: Wanna try it out?
Gabby: Gotta fricking... glue this stupid book to my hands, apparently...
Steph pushes herself up off the ground and walks over to it
Forrest: Have you considered finding a wristband to attach it to.
Narrator : It slowly starts up, with a lot of noise.
When it gets going, there's no internet connection.
But it has Word.
And some files.
Folders.
Steph: ...Jaime, look, it's kind of shit.
Gabby: 'S fricking... what, two pounds? It'd have to be made outta, like...

...Maybe duct tape...

Steph starts browsing through the files that are already there
Jaime: Probably as old at this place.
Narrator : It has a non-offensive, default background.
Hm...
These have odd names
Forrest looks over at Nathan
Steph: Maybe someone else left notes too?
Narrator : PROJECT-00567_DR.L_REP.
Forrest: How'd you do, Tough Guy.
Narrator : And such like that.
Steph: ...?
Gabby mutters to herself and goes into RELEVANT MODO because I must sleep, beeb
beeb
Steph opens that one up
Space: night mobile
Narrator : It's corrupted.
Mobile L: G'naight
Steph: Fuck.
Nathan: ...
Steph tries some more
Nathan: Hey there.
Narrator : Most are just corrupted.
Some are...
Forrest: Think you can tell me anything about the monster you guys fought.
Narrator : Password locked.
Forrest: I didn't manage to get a good look at it.
Steph: ...This is crap...
Jaime: ...Do you think this is actually Mu's?
Steph: I think, uh...

Nathan: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -2 for Mind

{(
3
+
16
+
9
)}+-2
= 7
Uh...
It had...
Claws.
And this weird head.
Steph: Either he... requisitioned? It? Or there's other people who used it befor
e us.
Forrest: ...Okay.
Nathan: And it was..
Steph: Official-sounding people.
Forrest: Claws and a weird head.
Nathan makes a gesture
Nathan: This big.
Steph starts poking through the other folders and whatnot
Forrest: Okay...Claws, a weird head, and it was big.
Can you go into detail about the weirdness of the head.
Jaime: ...What'd he say about the snake-pin guys, again?
Narrator : "DR. L_PROJECT_INTRO"
Steph: From what I can tell, they aaaare... Belmont High alumni. We need to figu
re out when, uh... that is to say, we have some of those guys's names, we can ju
st look them up in the school files or something. I dunno. Maybe if we could fin
d some old yearbooks in the library...
Steph tries opening this one
Jaime: Maybe this was theirs?
Nathan: It was..
It had teeth.
Steph: Let's see if it, ah...
Nathan: All over its mouth.
Which was big.
Forrest: ...You mean, teeth where teeth shouldn normally not be.
Narrator : It's fucked up too.
There is one next to it
Steph: Fuuuuuck this...
Forrest: .....
Narrator : "SFTH_STATEMENT"
Steph clickity clickity
Narrator : It's partially fucked up
Forrest tries to make an educated assumption on the monster's potential weakness
es/strengths from nathan's dumbass analysis
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
19
+
13
+
6
)+1

= 39
Nathan: It had big teeth...
Narrator : RIght probably the mouth.
Forrest: ...Alllllright.
Forrest scribble scribbles in the checkbook
Jaime: ...How exactly do you corrupt data?
Forrest: You've been a boon to science, buddy.
Steph: Do you think they did it intentionally?
Mac D.: can i get a journal called Forrest's Super Duper Monster Tips
Jaime: Well, what if they didn't want anyone to read it?
Narrator : "We, the Society for the [Fucked up] have [...] Through mutual will,
and [fucked up] [really fucked up] Iblis, and [fucked up] to the Second Heaven.
[fucked up] know that I will continue, with or without any of you. - S.K
Steph: Yeah, good thinking...
...
Narrator : sure duff
Mac D.: c:
Steph: ...S. K...
Narrator : in the coffe
Mac D.: clear as a crisp spring morning
Steph tries to think back
Narrator : "remember steph, he was number one"
yeah none of the one's whose names you know had s for a name
maybe the one slick douche
Steph: I'm... not sure those initials ring a bell, no.
Narrator : maybe one of the other people who you didn't meat
who even knows
Jaime: No one?
Jaime himself tries to recall
Narrator : Stephen King!
Stepanie Karloman..., uh...
Steve... Kjobs...
Jaime: ...Steph.
Steph: Yeah?
Narrator : Saskatchewan is commonly abbreviated to SK
Jaime: Are... do you have any relatives with a first initial "S"?
Steph: There's me, for one. Um...
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
9
+
17
+
9
)}
= 9
Narrator : Steph really can't recall her parents' given names.
As they're dead.
Space: i call shenanigans
Mac D. rips the check out of the checkbook and walks on over to Steph and Jaime
Forrest: yes me
Narrator : fine fuck you
Forrest: I've got another one.
Narrator : fucking prick
Her mother's first name was Samantha
Steph: .....

Jaime: ...
Jaime turns over to the Interrupting Forrest
Jaime: Can I see it?
Forrest: ...What're you guys doing over here.
Steph: Uh -- another, um... you got the stapler?
Forrest: I gave it to you.
Narrator : Her father's was Horhay.
Steph: ...Oh.
Look at this.
Forrest nonchalantly hands the check to Jaime and looks at the computer screen
Space: Jorge
Forrest: What is it.
Jaime checks that out
Steph points at the mildly fucked file
Narrator : i'm jokign that's really dumb, it was george
Fawkes M.: Spartans really don't die
Even after Assassin shoots them
Forrest please see "Big Teeth" in: Forrest's Magical Monster Manual
Narrator : "We, the Society for the [Fucked up] have [...] Through mutual will,
and [fucked up] [really fucked up] Iblis, and [fucked up] to the Second Heaven.
[fucked up] know that I will continue, with or without any of you. - S.K
Jaime just stuffs the check into his pocket, then turns back to Steph and Forres
t
Forrest: ....What's this about.
Steph: S.K.. Do you see that?
Forrest: Yeah. Anyone I should know about.
Steph looks uncomfortable
Steph: Samantha Karloman.
Forrest: ...Who's that.
Jaime: .....
Steph: My mother.
Forrest: ...Oh.
Narrator : i had to upload this myself
Space: you're doing gods work
Forrest: Do you think she wrote this.
Steph: I don't know.
Lots of people have those initials, it's a big world.
Narrator : stephen king
Forrest: Yeah, so why do you look like you think it's her.
Narrator : stanley karling
Steph: She...
...
Narrator : that's her uncle
stanley
Forrest: Does your mom have ties to this whole thing you know about.
Steph: I have no idea, okay?
Jaime: Can we not?
Forrest: These are important questions.
Steph: I don't want to talk about it.
Narrator : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SK
Steph moves to shut the computer down
Forrest: ...Do you know something, but don't want to say anything.

Forrest puts a hand in front of hers

Forrest: Hold it.
Space: swanky kong
Steph glowers at him
Steph: Fine.
Narrator : Sren Kierkegaard,
Forrest has his typical expression.
Steph gets out of the chair
Narrator : he did it
Jaime: ...Ugh.
Narrator : undisguised hatred for the fatman
his name is on the signs
Fawkes M.: There's a difference between a fatman and a fatass
Forrest: We're not leaving this subject until I know for sure you don't actually
know anything.
Space: kaysen
Steph: I don't! Okay? Oh my god!
Narrator : keyton
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
12
+
20
+
10
)+1
= 43
Narrator : forrest keyton
Does she, space?
Space: can i roll to see if she does
Narrator : i guess
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
6
+
18
+
10
)}
= 10
Narrator : Steph can't be sure.
Space: this is as i had figured as well
Narrator : She might kno something.
But she might not.
Everything pre-car crash is touch and go
Forrest: ...I'm not convinced that's the truth. And I don't think you do, either
.
Steph laughs
Forrest: Did I say something funny.
Steph: Are you-- you're serious? Aren't you?
Oh my god.
Jaime: ...
Jaime sighs, folding his arms
Steph: Look - just stop. Okay? Stop bringing my dead parents up.

Forrest: Oh, they're dead.

I wasn't aware of that.
Well, now I know why this is tough to talk about, at least.
Steph: Okay, are we done here?
Narrator : mu comes out, he's playing the sax
Forrest: No. I want to know what you know about your mom.
Space: richard moneypenny is playing the piano
Jaime: Look, just-Forrest: This is important.
Steph: I barely know anything about her. Okay?
Forrest: Is that why you're suspicious of the initials in the email.
Jaime: Can I ask something about you?
Steph: Yes! Okay? Jesus...
Forrest looks at Jaime
Forrest: Okay, let's hear it.
Jaime: Do you know how to take a hint? For, well, anything?
Space: did mu find the printer
Forrest: I do, and I always don't.
Got any more questions.
Space: i love forrest
Narrator : Mu holds an old printer in his hands
Mac D.: this oughta be forrest's theme y/n
Space: y
well not now
this is mu's theme
Jaime: ...You know? I'm not going to question that, just because I know it won't
go anywhere with you.
Mr. Mu holds it like it weighs nothing
Forrest: That's a stupid mentality that won't get you anywhere.
Mr. Mu sets it down
Forrest looks at Mr. Mu holding the printer
Forrest: ...Oh, hey.
Space: "hello children~"
Mr. Mu: I am here to serve your needs.
Jaime was about to say "let me tell you a story about a guy named Aaron", but st
opped when Mu walked in
Forrest: Where'd you get the printer.
Space: beheaded
Mr. Mu: I retrieved it.
Jaime: "burn them alllllllll"
Forrest: From.....
Mr. Mu: From Styx.
Steph is looking fairly upset now
Steph walks back over to her spot
Mr. Mu: One can search through the tides to find refuse of the First Heaven.
Forrest: ...Alright, whatever. Will it print like a regular printer.
Mr. Mu: Yes.
It is perfectly operational.
Forrest: Do we have to get it connected to the computer.
Jaime watches Steph go
Jaime: ...

Mr. Mu just does it

Jaime decides to follow her back
Forrest: ....Wow, impressive.
Mr. Mu: It should give you no issue.
Steph: ...He's just a real asshole. Holy shit.
Forrest: Alright, this oughta be better for recording info than checks.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
Mr. Mu nods
Forrest looks at the files and such on the still-running computer
Mr. Mu: It is my duty.
Forrest: ....Hey, one more thing.
Mr. Mu looks down at him
Mr. Mu: What is it?
Forrest gestures to the files on the desktop screen
Forrest: What's up with these.
Jaime: He's harder to deal with than the Nihilists. And I got poisoned by one.
Mr. Mu: Ah, simply fragments of the computer's old life.
Steph: Does he not... trust us? Any of us?
...
Forrest: Written by people before us?
Steph: ...I guess that's fair.
Mr. Mu: I can only assume.
Steph: Him being from... American, and whatever.
Mr. Mu: It is a recent adition.
Forrest: Mm.
Steph sigh
Forrest: How recent. How many other kids had the chance to use it.
Mr. Mu: The set previous to you.
Forrest: .....The snake cult, right.
Jaime: ...We'll still manage.
Mr. Mu nods
Forrest: Which would probably mean they're all from them.
Forrest cycles through them
Steph: Yeah.
Forrest: ...They're all corrupted to shit.
Jaime: ...That check he showed me? Supposedly he's starting his own journal.
Mr. Mu: It is the state of this place.
Forrest: ...What's that mean.
Mr. Mu: The airs of this place cause decay.
Steph: Good for him. It'll probably be useful.
Mr. Mu: When it pulls away from the First Heaven, this process accelerates.
Steph: Should have just brought his own notebook...
Jaime: He's calling it...
Jaime pulls out the check
Jaime: ..."Magical Monster Tips".
Steph: Pfft...
Forrest: ...Don't suppose there's anyway to clean this up, is there.
Mr. Mu: I doubt it.
...
Jaime: Think it's gonna find a place in Hogwarts or something?
Mr. Mu: I do recall, if you wish to know, the Archetypes of my previous guests.

Forrest: ......
What about their names.
Mr. Mu: I never remember names.
I have seen too many faces.
Forrest: Great.....
Steph: 'Magical beasts and where to find them'... In a crappy metaphysical fuck
school, that's where.
Forrest: Do you think they still have their powers.
Mr. Mu: Oh, certainly.
Forrest: ...Alright.
Forrest boots up Word
Mr. Mu: You keep these abilities for life.
Forrest: Give me those Archetypes
Jaime: Heh. Good for him.
Mr. Mu: There were...
Steph: I don't know...
Mr. Mu: A Ruler...
Forrest writes the following down
Steph: What am I supposed to do?
Mr. Mu: A Jester...
A Hero...
A Creator...
A Sage..
Forrest: Ruler....Jester.....Hero....Hang on, can you give me a quick primer on
what each powers they get
Mr. Mu: An Outlaw...
And, finally, an Everyman.
Steph: I haven't asked my grandfather about them. I mean... I'm pretty sure it f
ucked him up too, right?
Fawkes M.: I got like five minutes tops
Mr. Mu: Rulers focus on control and domination of all things.
Forrest: Alright....
Steph: I don't want to reopen old wounds like that. But...
Jaime: ...About the crash?
Mr. Mu: Jesters focus on revelry and enjoyment.
Heroes seek to prove themselves through brave or difficult action.
Steph: Yeah. He lost his daughter, he lost his son-in-law... I'm pretty much his
only family left.
Me and the parrot.
Mr. Mu: The Creator wishes to create something of lasting value.
A Sage seeks the true nature of things.
An Outlaw desires revenge and revolution.
And an Everyman simply seeks connection with others and the world around them.
Jaime: If you think you have to ask, then you should.
A lead's a lead, right?
Steph: Yeah, but... this lead is my grandfather.
Forrest typity typity
Jaime: Stop me if I start to sound like Forrest, but...
...You said that Iblis looked like him, right?
Mr. Mu: Certain Archetypes...
Steph: Yeah.
Mr. Mu: Will do more harm against certain Archetypes.
Forrest: ...?
Like...what, rock-paper-scissors?
Mr. Mu: Outlaws can more easily harm Rulers, and vice versa.
Jaime: ...I don't know, maybe that's a connection.
Forrest: Give me each of them.

Steph: There's also...

...I dunno. It's selfish of me, I guess.
I want an out. Something... something connected to the real world. If... that ma
kes sense.
That's my grandfather. If I ask him, I'm just dragging him into this.
Mr. Mu: Hero and Cargeiver, Outlaw and Ruler, Jester and Sage, Creator and Every
man, Magician and Lover, Innocent and Explorer.
Jaime: Well... will asking him really entail telling him all about this?
Steph: Even if it's just... asking questions about my mother, I...
...
I don't know.
Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I haven't been giving Grandpa enough credit this w
hole time.
Forrest typity tyyyypity
Jaime: What do you mean?
Steph: Maybe he's fine with me just... y'know. Just asking a few questions.
Mr. Mu watches him
Forrest SAVE
Forrest PRRRRRRINT
Jaime: Only one way to really find out.
Steph: Yeah.
Fawkes M.: Aggh, I've reached my limit
Mac D.: live
_liiiive_
Space: this was good fawkes, good nite
Fawkes M.: Night, Duff
Forrest: Alright.
Fawkes M.: Night, Space and Seer
Mr. Mu looks at the paper
Mr. Mu: make like a tree
Steph: ...
Mr. Mu: and go fuck yourself
Steph looks back at the printer noises
Fawkes M.: Aww yeh
Steph: ........
Forrest walks over and nabs the sheet
Steph: ...What do you have over there?
Steph gets up
Forrest: Helpful information.
Forrest hands off the sheet without looking at her
Steph looks at it
Forrest: Read this over and put it in your notebook.
Steph: ...Okay, I can add some stuff. We've already seen a few of them, so I thi
nk we can make some guesswork here.
Forrest: Go for it.
Steph: Officer Philip Quest is the Hero. He - he had a sword. Like Ken.
Forrest: Alright.
Be sure to write down the names you know, too.
Forrest is still not looking at her and has gone back to the computer

Space: i can't ediiiiiiit

Mr. Mu: in your own
Mac D.: seer fix this
Mr. Mu: notebook
Steph: There's not a lot of stuff.
Mac D.: noooo let him edit the MONSTER manuallll
Space: i already have their names in my own notebook
Mac D.: it is technically a part of her notebook after all
Steph: On the computer. I-- y'know, I went through it.
Forrest: Never hearts to double check.
*hurtsd
Steph: ...Yeah, I bet.
Narrator : Oh.
There's one interesting
"THE_END"
Forrest: I don't know what you meant by that, but I'm going to assume it was ins
ulting.
...?
Forrest opens it
Narrator : Wow.
This is just
really corrupted
but there's a word to be made out
Forrest: ....Figures.....
...?
Narrator : Iblis.
Forrest: ......Figures, again.
Steph: What figures?
Forrest turns the monitor towards her
Forrest: Did you look through this file.
Steph: What's it called?
Forrest: "THE_END"
Narrator : "[...] Iblis [...] It's done[...]Sorry, so [...]"
"-[...]P[...]"
it just gets
glitchier
as time goes on
Steph sets the sheet down once she's done, looking over his shoulder
Forrest: So did you look over this one.
Steph: You got me.
Forrest: I told you it never hurts.
Steph: Who names a file something like that?
Forrest: Someone with low prospects of survival.
Steph: The End...
Forrest: Alternatively, someone who knows something we don't.
Steph: P. Maybe we know who that is.
We really need to look through an old yearbook or something.
Forrest: Are you sure it's a name.
Narrator : professor smegma
Steph: The last one had initials, it looks like this one might too.
Forrest: It's hard to tell, this thing's a mess.
It could just be the start of another sentence.
Steph: Yeah. That's true.
Mr. Mu?
Mr. Mu: Yes?
Steph: Was this computer always this bad? Did they intentionally corrupt the fil
es?

Forrest: He said it's caused by decay in the air.

Mr. Mu nods
Mr. Mu: Nirvana did not become so rotten by my hand, or theirs.
Steph: Was it not originally like this?
Forrest: I'd assume not.
Mr. Mu: When it was new, it was much better.
Forrest: The way these are written makes me think they weren't sticking together
, and left the messages to relay to one another.
Mr. Mu: But the wear and tear of the Nihilists and River Cocytus have brought ro
t to this entire realm.
Steph: Yeah. That's what I think, too.
Steph looks back at Mu
Steph: How long has this been going on?
Mr. Mu: For a very long time.
Forrest: The only people who've had access to this computer was the group before
us.
Mr. Mu: I have waited.
Forrest: Ergo, all of these were written by the snake cult.
Steph: ...What a bunch of pretentious fucks. Honestly.
Forrest: Something we can agree on.
Mr. Mu: ...
Forrest: If I wanted to relay messages to separated group members, I wouldn't ja
zz it up with flowery prose.
Mr. Mu: Previously, one of them had stolen this.
Steph looks up
Mr. Mu: Well, it is not theft when they brought it here in the firt place.
Forrest: ...?
Forrest looks at him
Forrest: ....Did they bring it from one of the places they were exploring.
Mr. Mu: When the gap between the Heavens opened again, they took it with them.
I believe so.
Mr. Mu shrugs
Mr. Mu: I only recently re-aquired this.
Forrest: They might have messed with the messages, after all.
Mr. Mu: Evidently, whoever had taken it met with an ill-boding fate.
For...
Steph: ...
Mr. Mu: It was...
Iblis, who brought it back to the Second Heaven.
Forrest: ......
Weird.
Steph: ...Okay, I was going to, uh, say we should take it to some data recovery
place or something.
Mr. Mu: He threw it into Erebus, but a quickly retrieved it.
Steph: Just, uh... scratch that.
Mr. Mu: *I
Forrest: Explains why it's a busted piece of shit.
Steph: I don't know, but I think we've gotten pretty much all we can out of it a
t this point.
Mr. Mu: Iblis did not wish the information on this computer to survive.
Forrest: Considering the computer was taken from here, by them.
This opens up the possibility that the messages on it might not have been meant
for them at all.
They could be messages to the next generation.
Warnings, advice, taunting, whatever.

Steph: The one by SK seemed like it was meant for the other members of her -- so
rry, their group
Forrest: Let's give it another read.
Forrest opens dat shiet up
Narrator : i hate you
Mac D.: :3
Narrator : lt me find it
Forrest: ......
Space: (we should probs wrap this up soon btw)
Forrest waits for the piece of shit to load
Space: (just bcause my little cousin is trying to sleep in this room as well)
Steph: ...What's our next move after this?
Narrator : We, the Society for the [Fucked up] have [...] Through mutual will, a
nd [fucked up] [really fucked up] Iblis, and [fucked up] to the Second Heaven. [
fucked up] know that I will continue, with or without any of you. - S.K
Forrest: Go back out there and find that Tartarus place.
Steph: Not gonna call it a day yet?
Mr. Mu: It will take..
Forrest: Can we just fuck off back to normal spacetime on a whim.
Here, it's loaded now.
Mr. Mu: A considerable amount of time to get to Tartarus.
Steph: ...
Mr. Mu: And you cannot stay here perpetually.
Steph: 'Know that I will continue, with or without any of you.'
Forrest: Are we certain that the entirety of the previous group makes up the sna
ke cult.
Steph: If my mother wrote that, then no.
There's a lot that we don't know at this point.
Forrest: IF. Your mom wrote it.
Steph: There is a lot that we don't know at this point, Forrest.
Forrest: I would prefer to make educated guesses based on information provided,
thank you.
An uncertain gut feeling is not substantial evidence.
Steph: Okay, let's see.
Whoever this person is, I can't see the outcome being good for them.
Forrest: Very sound thinking, I'm impressed.
Steph: That's not necessary.
Mr. Mu: turns out
he really was
impresse
d
Forrest: I don't know what you're talking about.
Alright, so. When are we able to go back to regular Spacetime.
Mr. Mu: You may leave whenever you wish,
I will tell you when you must leave.
Forrest: Is it still going to be a horrible monster school when we get back in t
here.
Steph: Are we going to have to walk all the way back, or could you just drop us
off at the entrance?
Mr. Mu: I could drop you off.
Forrest: That'd be appreciated.
Space: mu is weird and creepy and i like him
Steph: Okay, so-Are you guys okay with calling it for today?
Forrest: I can still feel the poison in me.
Steph: Wow, really?
Mr. Mu taps him

Mr. Mu just takes the poison out

Forrest: .....Ohp, there it goes.
Alright, let's fuck off.
Forrest gets out the chair
Mr. Mu tips his hat to them
Space: this was a good session
Mac D.: sesh tommorrow yes?
Space: i like how more and more things get revealled each sesh
HOEP-fully
Mac D.: perhaps earlier as well
Space: seer play the ED for duff
Mac D.: cause holy shit
Space: is that a 'holy shit this is fun' or a 'hol shit im tire'
Mac D.: "holy shit it's 3 AM"
so yeah
Space: :^)
Mac D.: starting earlier would be nice
Space: :^) :^)
i'm having a lot of fun with this roll20
Mac D.: me2
Mr. Mu: thhat was just how things went
Space: i think that
having the full party is
super duper unwieldy
in combat
andn general traversing the dungeon
Mac D.: true dat
Space: since there's eight
would there be some way to just easily split them into two groups
and cover more ground that way
Mr. Mu: do what steph said
split up
Space: steph is smart
Mac D.: maybe find a way to forcibly split the party in two
like they end up in different spots
Space: but everyone else thinks theyre in fuckin scooby doo
Mac D.: but if they split up one group was certain to die
Mr. Mu: all the npcs go on their own party
Space: nah theyd be fine
Mr. Mu: and go on their own adventure
Space: yeah ez pz
it saves everone pain and anguish
Mac D.: yeah all the npcs could go in their own party and the players could peri
odically meet up with them
Space: yes
Mr. Mu: walkie talkies
Mac D.: and then inevitably fight and kill the
*them
Space: cellular phones
Mr. Mu: get walkie talkies
no reception in hell
Space: damn
so seer
what do you think about the party's progress in general
Mr. Mu: i have no opinion
Space: thats unfortunate
do you have any opinions you wish to express

Mr. Mu: not really

Space: not really...?
Mr. Mu: nothing at this moment
Space: i see
Mr. Mu: what do yo uthink about mr mu
Space: he's a helpful guy
Mac D.: very helpful robot
Space: thats weird
i've not thought of him as a robot
but it fits
minus the mechanical stuff
Mac D.: who knows, spaced
Space: though maybe hes just gears and shit under that mask
Mac D.: who really knows what's under the mask
Space: underneath his mask
is another mask
Mac D.: god i wanna play moooooore
Mr. Mu: that question has an answer
Space: saaaaaaaaaaame
i was gonna
have steph, at some point ask him
what would happen if he took it off
Mr. Mu: he'd give a glib non-answer
Mac D.: "it would be very painful"
Space: yeah i bet he would
Mr. Mu: I'd no longer be masked.
for you
Mac D.: steph: "well you're a big guy"
"for you"
Space: i like forrest and steph's passive aggressive dynamic
check out the notes she added
Mac D.: forrest has no time for sentimental nonsense when he just almost died
Space: steph has no time for forrest when she got very scared of death
Mac D.: forrest doesn't seem scared......wonder what's THAT about.....
Space: he's not afraid of death or dying
he's only scared of never trying
only god can judge him now
Mac D.: ye
did she write anything in her journal about him
Space: nyet
she dislikes him
but she trusts him
Mac D.: strikes him from history
Space: the next group will never know he existed
Mr. Mu: who do you think sk is
Space: theres only one sk that we know of so until further evidence is given
Mac D.: the sk stands for Red Herring
Space: fug
Mr. Mu: alucard backwards is SK
Space: listen, to the music of the night
Forrest: the fuck's up with these dishes
how come i was teleported ajar from everybody else
Steph: because you smell
Mr. Mu: it's a sotrage building
Steph: so what's up with that gross old school
does it
exist in the first heaven, like as the actual old part of the building
Mr. Mu: nope
well like
it's a transition

the building becomes less real the further you get in

Space: what's there when the second heaven isn't
Mr. Mu: like a disused part of the building
Space: a butchery
Mr. Mu: but it's not large
Space: well i need to sleep
goodnit
Mr. Mu: night
Mac D.: nitey nite
Ed Stuart: Winter's comin'
Space: fuckin piece of shit ed stuart
fucking piece of shit lung borg
Ed Stuart: why piece of shit
Space: ugly
Aaron Ljungborg: I'm the Mad Prom King.
Space: aegon lung borg
Aaron Ljungborg: aerys
i just wanted a hard to spell name
Space: tell me about them o'er steam
Ed Stuart: why
Space: i wanna do some gta to unwind
Ed Stuart: i'm going to stay here and listen to my music
Space: pls to open the steam
Fawkes M.: So what the heck is the Next Game feature?
It claims we are a month overdue
eldritch s. (GM): it's from when i set it so that i would remember when the next
game was supposed to be
Mobile L: Ah, that
Fawkes M.: So our plan is to time travel
Mobile L: Back 2 the future
Gabby: look i can play the pee-ano
Liszt: BUT WAIT
Gabby: oh frick what
Jaime: Peeing on Anno? You must really hate Eva, Gabby.
Liszt: WATCH ME PLAY MY SONG
Gabby: frick you, you know what i meant
oh heckle this guy is DANG GOOD
can't compete with someone like that
eldritch s. (GM): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_Liszt
He was a benefactor to other composers, including Frederic Chopin, Richard Wagne
r, Hector Berlioz, Camille Saint-Sans, Edvard Grieg and Alexander Borodin.[4]
Gabby: that's quite the...
lizt of composers there
B)
Liszt: you have to play my songs now or die
Jaime: wow
that
i think i lost 30 hp, gabby
Gabby: nyehehehehe... frick i can barely play chopsticks
Jaime: isn't that a type of chinese food?
Gabby: you're a racialist
Jaime: nuh
Gabby: yeh
Mobile L: Behold my masterpiece
Jaime: frick you too
Gabby: frick this gay earth
Jaime: you know what we should do?
eldritch s. (GM): https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0d/Franz_Lisz
t_by_Herman_Biow-_1843.png
Liszt: play along gabby, or i'll kill you

Gabby: what should we do, aside from bending to franz lizt's will
Jaime: open the gates of tartar sauce or whatever the fuck
and tell all the souls
frick off
heck
let's spraypaint the gates with "frick"
"off"
Gabby: yeahhhhhhh, heck those fricking frickers!!!! this is the best idea you've
had in years, jaime my old chum
Jaime: B)
Gabby: B)
Fawkes M.: I must do that Errand I mentioned now
Mobile L: Be safe, sane and consensual
eldritch s. (GM): i really like liszt
Mobile L: This is some pretty good shit
eldritch s. (GM): he's famous for making
some of the single hardest songs
ever
this song, the hungarian rhapsody, is infamous
Mobile L: Yeah, this sounds like it'd be a bitch to play
eldritch s. (GM): professionals have aching hands afterwards
Mobile L: Frick, yo
Fawkes M.: Back
Turns out we can't move our relative's car out of the driveway because the batte
ry is dead
Mobile L: Awww shit
eldritch s. (GM): you need to physically move it
with your own hands
Mobile L: Can I just say that I am enamored with Gabby's faceclaim?
eldritch s. (GM): she's pretty cool
Mobile L: It's prolly the most expressive character design I've seen, like, ever
eldritch s. (GM): are you ready for freddy fox
Mobile L: I AM FIVE NIGHTS AT REDDY
Fawkes M.: I'm not just ready
Fawkes M. puts sunscreen on nose
Fawkes M.: I'm ready Freddy
Mobile L: It's, uh... It's Larry.
Mac D.: it's been so long
Ed Stuart: Winter's comin'.
Forrest: since i put on the mask
Jaime: :-\
Forrest: what are you looking at, hair gel
Jaime: him
Johann Lancaster: Will you get the fuck off of my property, Stuart.
Jaime: thanks, dad
Ed Stuart: THE NORTH REMEMBERS
Forrest: i think i've seen this on a TV show once
i think it was called
Jaime: you're just imagining things
Forrest: The Hobbit
Jaime: nah
it's the brady bunch
Narrator : Game of Hobbits/
Forrest: ah, yes...
Mac D.: OH I'M EXCITE
Mobile L: git reddy motherfrickers
Narrator : man when will space stop getting off at the idea of charlemagne and a
rturia hooking u- oh there he is
Fawkes M.: Yeah, Space

You lewd panda

Narrator : naughty panda
Space: winter's comin', seer
Narrator : you're going to get some coal in your stocking
and so am i
Fawkes M.: Why are your hands out of the frame, panda
Mobile L: Oh Boa by Duvet, how I missed you
Space: :^)
Mobile L: I AM FALLING, I AM FADING, I HAVE LOST IT ALL
Steph does cool OP stuff
Gabby studies INTENSELY and has her glasses gleam sinisterly
Jaime wonders how the heck this song translates into a dynamic OP
Narrator : https://youtu.be/PKZ0VNnAuiU?t=231
lain did it
Forrest is reading through papers on his desk in the dark
Steph writes in her notebook, sitting against the wall in the abandoned school
Mac D.: so when's forrest get his magnifying glass
Narrator : oh he can summon it whenever
Mac D.: ....oh
Mobile L: Boy is it a bad sign when your feet are popsicles and you already have
socks on
Mac D.: mobile are you fucking dying
Steph: put on Double Socks
Mobile L: My room is badly ventilated
Jaime is just leaning against the wall, idly
Mobile L: It's much less frigid out here in the living room
Mac D.: "i'm just......too cool"
Mobile L: B) B) B)
Narrator : The party was dispensed by Mu's door.
Forrest: .......Well.
Steph: ...
Forrest: Back to the hunt, I guess.
Gabby: Yyyyyyep.
Gabby just sounds tiny-cranky
Jaime: How much longer do you think we have?
Forrest: Don't ask me, this is my first time.
Narrator : virgin
Steph: ...God...
Narrator : i'm here
Jaime looks over at Steph
Jaime: What is it?
Steph: Let's just keep going...
Mobile L: Steph: "God..."
Forrest looks at Steph
Mobile L: Jaime: "YES, WHAT DO YOU REQUIRE, MY CHILD?"
Mac D.: jaime: REJOIC
Jaime: boku wa kira janai
Fawkes M.: Wait, so
This isn't Mu's room, is it?
Forrest: Is something wrong.
Gabby: GOD! I DID EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME!

Space: no the party got dropped off here so they wouldn't have to walk all the w
ay back
Narrator : yes
Forrest: .....I mean, putting aside everything that is clearly wrong with what i
s happening right now.
Narrator : no it isn't his room
this is his room
Jaime: ahh
been a while
Let's just head out.
Gabby: 'Kay... Mrgh.
Steph is just the first one out
Forrest: .....Alright, whatever.
Teddy Reinside: 'M feeling pretty good about this!
Jaime following along quickly
Nathan: ... Superpowers...
Gabby: Yyyyyyep.
Forrest: Please try not to pass out on us again.
Narrator : They're all still frozen.
Teddy Reinside: Hey!
That was one time.
I'm uh, hypoglucemic.
Steph: Okay, guys, where do we go from here?
Mac D.: i still refuse to believe that foxhole is a dude
Forrest: You seem to be keen on leading the way, so you decide.
Jaime: Where else haven't we looked?
Forrest: I don't really know the layout of the building, anyway.
Gabby: ...I'unno, is there a roof access?
Steph: ...Hold on a second, uh...
Gabby: ?
Steph: Now's a good time for this. Do any of you know where the school keeps, li
ke... their old attendance records?
Jaime: Hmm...
Forrest: I would assume they'd keep them in a designated archiving room.
Jaime: Maybe where the office usually is?
Forrest: Or somewhere in the administrative office, yes.
Gabby: ...Yeah, probably there.
Steph: Okay, let's hurry before time starts back up again.
Forrest: Why do you need attendance records.
Jaime: Think for once.
Forrest: Yes, I am thinking about it. That is why I am asking the question.
Steph: All of the people in the last group went here, okay? We don't need any ar
guments, so both of you drop it.
Fawkes M.: Not even trying for the spot check
Gabby:
Gabby cranky silence
Forrest: ...Ah. I understand. Good idea.
Steph: Okay, c'mon.
Jaime: ...
Jaime follows Steph's lead
Gabby: ...Yeah. Frickin'... Might be the best lead we've had yet.
Forrest follows
Space: oh
Forrest: We could also look for yearbooks to find the faces that go with the nam
es.

Iblis: Stop for a moment.

Forrest: ......
Gabby: Yeah, tha...!!!
Steph looks back
Steph: --!!!
Gabby oh. FRICK
Steph: Run!
Iblis: Don't.
Forrest is just standing there, Iblis right behind him
Forrest: ........
Steph just fucking tries to abscond via the door
Iblis: No.
Jaime: Are you stupid?!?
Steph: --!?!
Forrest just has this annoyed expression on his face
Steph: W-what-?!
Mac D.: ah good
Gabby ahahaha, NOPE ON OUTTA THERE
Mac D.: the constant connection interruption i missed you
Gabby HECK NOPE
Jaime: Steph, let's just leave, alright? Forget the door!
Mobile L: :c
Steph: Oh, god...
Forrest looks at Iblis
Iblis: Talk.
That is what I wanted.
Talk.
Forrest: ..........
Talk.
Gabby ...heck. NOT.
Gabby violent clamming up
Iblis: You refused.
Forrest: Is Talk going to lead to Kill.
Steph hesitates, more out of fear than anything else
Jaime: .......
Iblis: You have already done that.
Forrest: Okay, yeah, but still.
Gabby frick you. frick this. frick everything.
Iblis: I will leave.
This is the final warning.
Forrest: ....A warning for what.
Gabby you'd fricking better... WEINER HOLE...
Jaime is just REALLY FUCKING EXASPERATED right now
Iblis: If you see me again, your heart will be opened to the sky.
Gabby OH SAME

Steph: ...
Iblis walks off
Forrest: ...I don't know what that means.
Wait what does that even mean.
Jaime would bang his head against the table were it not for the-- oh
Steph: (what the fuck does that mean holy jesus christ almighty)
.......
Gabby: ...WHAT.
Forrest: ...Okay I guess we don't get to know what that means.
......
Jaime: ...Are you stupid?!?!
Forrest looks at Jaime
Forrest: Do you know what it means.
Narrator : roll mind to determine what that means
Steph: Fuckin'...
Gabby: Frrrrrricking... Frick that... that fricking... FRICK. GOD DANG...!
Teddy Reinside is hiding beneath a table
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
2
+
13
+
7
)}
= 7
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Mind
{(
17
+
17
+
10
)}+-1
= 16
Gabby upset dirt-kicking
Space: james braniac
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
6
+
16
+
7
)+1
= 30
Narrator : He means he's going to tear your chest open, revealing your heart to
the air.
Jaime: Do you even know who that was?
Gabby too ticked to give a frick
Ken fell onto the bench
Forrest: Judging by the way everyone was panicking, I'd say it was that thing Mr
. Mu said would kill us.

Steph: ...That was, that was enough for today, right? Can we just go?
Suzie is underneath the table too
Jaime: Yes. And he was threatening to kill you with that thing about the heart.
Nathan: HEY!
Jaime: All of us.
Forrest: Oh.
Nathan: COME BACK HERE!
Gabby doesn't even notice anyone else, that is how DANG TICKED she is
Steph looks over at Nathan
Nathan: C'MERE YOU JERK!
Steph: ...
Forrest: That was a wierdly flowery way of saying "I'm going to kill you."
Jaime: ...
Nathan is about to let off a loud shout
Steph: Fucking damn it, you guys...
Gabby: Ghhhh! Ghhhhhhh! Ghhhhhhhhh! Ghhhhhhhh...!
Steph: Stop! Nathan!
Shut up!
Holy Christ! Just stop talking!
Gabby anger_issues.png
Nathan: roll to stop i
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
12
+
13
+
9
)}+1
= 13
Nathan is shoved off the table he was standing on
Steph: For fuck's sake...
Forrest watches Nathan fall like a chump
Nathan: Oof.
Jaime: ...Guys.
Steph: What?
Forrest looks at Jaime
Jaime: You know what Mu said about Iblis, right? How he gets drawn to us the mor
e we use our powers?
Gabby eventually tires herself out with dirt-kicking and stops to get her breath
Gabby:
Forrest: Are you suggesting we ease off on their use for the time being.
Steph: That's fine. That should just be a thing from now on.
Jaime: Not just ease off, don't use them at all unless we really, really have to
.
That's rule number one.
Forrest: Okay, I can get behind that.
Jaime: Are you sure?
Forrest: I'm not as adept as stick-fighting as you are, though, if that isn't re
adily apparent. So don't expect me to be of much help without them.
Gabby: ...'Kay... 'Kay, yeah, I could... I could tap the... the breaks...

Forrest: I might be able to use a gun. Anybody got a gun.

Steph: ...Okay, are we staying here or are we going?
Steph does not answer Forrest
Gabby huffs and wipes her eyes
Narrator : As if by magic, which it is, the world unfreezes.
Forrest: ............
Forrest looks around
Gabby: ...Nope... Nobody has guns...
Steph: ...
Forrest: ......Well, fuck, what do you know.
Jaime: ...
Forrest: Is the magic word "Gun."
Mr. Hawthorne: -Yes, well, let me just get my drink!
Jaime exhales just a little
Steph: Holy shit, stop talking about that at school.
Gabby: ...No. It was coincidence.
Forrest: Talking about what.
Mr. Hawthorne turns around, bumping into Teddy
Gabby keeps wiping her eyes
Forrest: Guns?
Mr. Hawthorne: Oh!
Steph: What do you think?
Yes.
Jaime: ...why are we even...
Mr. Hawthorne: Wh- Who said the G-word?
Gabby bites her lip and sniffles a bit
Forrest: .....Oh, yeah, I forgot. Canada.
Nurse Foxhole: What's the G-word, boss? G-spot?
Steph: It's nothing, Mr. Hawthorne! Forrest is just American.
Mac D.: foxhole STOP IT
Mr. Hawthorne: WHAT!?
Gabby defeatedly trudges to the bench, thoroughly just done with... with stuff..
.
Mr. Hawthorne turns to look at Foxhole
Jaime: Yeah! Texan, right?
Mr. Hawthorne: Stop talking.
Jaime: ...
Forrest: New Jersey.
Mr. Hawthorne: Close your mouth.
Steph mentally thanks Foxhole for the save
Jaime: Close enough.
Steph: They're, like, right next to each other.
Nurse Foxhole shrugs
Forrest: They're really, really not.
Nurse Foxhole walks off
Jaime shrugs
Forrest: ....School's out, right.

Mr. Hawthorne: Anyhow, err...

Yes, yes it is!
Steph: I'm kind of hungry.
Forrest: Alright, then. Time to go home.
Gabby removes her glasses and wipes them on her sweater-vest
Mr. Hawthorne: Wait, Forrest!
Forrest: See you guys tomorrow.
....?
Forrest looks at Hawthorne
Jaime turns to Steph
Jaime: You want to get something to eat?
Mr. Hawthorne: How have you enjoyed your first day in Canada?
Forrest: .....
...Well, sir, it was nothing like I expected.
Steph: Sure! But I'm all out of cash.
Ken just sits on the bench beside Gaby
Jaime: Oh, um...
Mr. Hawthorne: I hope you find it to your liking.
Gabby is stuck in that strange domain between furious and despondent
Jaime: ...I think I can pay.
Mr. Hawthorne: It can take some getting used-to.
But take heart. my boy!
Steph: Great, let's go!
Mr. Hawthorne: With Stephen Harper in charge, it will be just like America in no
time.
Forrest: I will, sir. Don't you worry.
Nurse Foxhole: You're not allowed to do that, boss.
Jaime nods, and leads the way
Ken: ... Are you alright, Gabby.
Teddy Reinside: ...
Forrest: ....Can I go home, now.
Teddy Reinside looks down at his hospital gown
Teddy Reinside: ...
Steph follows the Jaime
Teddy Reinside: I'll, uh, see you tomorrow.
Gabby: ...Y-yeah... M'fine...
Teddy Reinside bolts
Fawkes M.: bare ass
Mobile L: gross
Mr. Hawthorne: ...
Fawkes M.: ishmael
Space: unf
Fawkes M.: What should Jaime do re: the search for cuisine?
Mr. Hawthorne: Yes, of course.
Forrest: Thanks.
Forrest STARTS FOR HOME
Narrator : where would jaime talk his HOUGHT DATE
Mobile L: Take her to Ted Horton's or wherever the donit place is
Narrator : tim horton's
ted horton's

you
you fucking
you piece shit
Forrest: fucking hell why was this school built on an island
Narrator : you piece of fucking shit
Forrest: -swim swim swimSpace: olive garden
Narrator : it's on the coast
Mobile L: Dan Fuckface's
Narrator : you go to the sides to leave
Jaime: Where do you feel like eating?
Mac D.: weak
pathetic
Narrator : actually
i like the idea
Mac D.: white
white guilt
Narrator : it being a little off shore
Mac D.: milquetoast
Fawkes M.: The Blind Side
Steph: Anywhere is fine with me.
Narrator : and there's like a road connecting it to the rest of town
Forrest HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME
Narrator : piece of human garbage
Space: its like the school in persona 3
Narrator : shut up
shut the fuck up
Space: this is a positive thing
Narrator : Forrest walks.
And walks.
And walks.
And walks.
Wand alks.
And walks.
Narrator : And walks.
He stops.
And then walks.
And walks.
And walks.
He stops again.
Forrest: fucking crosswalks
Narrator : Does he take the bus, get picked up, or take the skytrain.
Mac D.: bus
Jaime: Hmm... what about that one donut place?
Gabby GET... COMPOSURE...
Ken: ...
Steph: That's an interesting, uh... sure!
Ken checks his watch
Ken: I'll see you tomorrow.
Gabby: ...Okay... Uh... Take care, Ken...
Ken: You too.
Ken stands up and walks off
Jaime: ...Actually-Jaime checks his watch
Gabby:

Narrator : Forrest gets on the bus.

The bus driver turns to him
Gabby has herself a barely-restrained kid cry
Steph: ...?
Fawkes M.: The Second Heaven would fuck up his watch, right?
Narrator : no
time doesn;t go
Forrest looks up at the driver
Forrest fat grumpy young man sopping wet from rain
Richard Moneypenny: Hey there.
You're new in town.
Space: holy shit
Richard Moneypenny: I can tell.
Space: it's richard moneypenny
Richard Moneypenny begins driving the bus
Forrest: ...Good guess.
Forrest has a seat
Richard Moneypenny: Name's Dick.
Dick Moneypenny.
Forrest: I won't make jokes.
Richard Moneypenny: Heh.
Space: richard moneypenny is just
the seediest fucker
Jaime: ...Do you want dinner? Sorry, just wondering.
Space: in this or any world
Gabby sniffle... huff... sniffle...
Steph: Oh, of course!
Richard Moneypenny: Not many people use my bus.
Forrest: Why, bad service.
Richard Moneypenny: Probably because of the train.
Or it's number 666.
Jaime: Alright.
Richard Moneypenny: Or because of Uber.
Jaime just decides to leave it to luck to see what he finds first
Forrest: Competition's a bitch, huh.
Gabby ...huff... whimper... sniffle...
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 0 for Spirit
{(
18
+
20
+
11
)}+0
= 18
Narrator : Luck takess him to a nice Irish resteraunt.
Lilly: ...
Hey, Gabby.
Mac D.: POTATOES
Gabby: ?
Richard Moneypenny: Sure is.
Steph: Oh!

Richard Moneypenny has a broken handcuff on one of his hands

Gabby screams a bit internally when she sees she was noticed
Forrest: .....
Jaime: You want to eat here?
Forrest: ....I never really liked trains, myself.
Steph: Yeah, it looks nice!
Forrest: Too clean.
Richard Moneypenny: Heh, I call them the Loser Cruisers.
Forrest: That's not bad.
Jaime: Alright, let's go.
Forrest looks out the window
Lilly: I'd just like to ask what's bothering you... you seem upset...
Steph follows with eagerness at a free dinner
Jaime internally praying this won't hurt his father's wallet too much as he open
s the door for Steph
Narrator : They walk into the resteraunt.
There's a guy standing there, waiting fro them.
Gabby: ...'S frickin'... I dunno how to explain...
Narrator : He has rapist eyebrows, a white beard.
White hair.
A turtleneck.
Mac D.: HAWTHORNE
Narrator : He looks like a douche.
Mobile L: could it be
Narrator : Like really unpleasant.
Mobile L: COULD IT BE
Jaime: ...
Space: ...!!!
Mobile L: : D
Wallace: ... Welcome, to Sisty's Seventeen.
Space: oh
my
god
Mac D.: BREEEEEEEEEEEEN
Mobile L: :D :D :D :D :D
marry me
Forrest: .....
Steph: Oh -- Jaime, look, do you think we should have gotten a reservation?
They have a valet and everything...
Gabby looks to see her friends and also the Texan are gone already
Richard Moneypenny: ...
Forrest is keeping an eye out for his stop
Richard Moneypenny starts smoking
Richard Moneypenny: Trust me, kid.
Gabby: ...D'you, um... D'you got awhile...?
Jaime: ...Um...
How long's the wait?
Richard Moneypenny: If you got some brains, this town isn't just a dump, it's a
profitable dump.
Like a landfill.
Lilly: Sure, Gabby.
Forrest: I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

Lilly sits down

Gabby: ...Thanks... Uhh... So...
Narrator : Wallace sighs, making a big deal of checking the ledger
Forrest: Maybe I'll start driving a bus myself
Wallace: ... It appears we have a vacancy. Just your luck, we're quite full toda
y.
Narrator : The resteraunt is empty.
Steph: ...Um... great!
Jaime: ...Thanks.
Mobile L: oh wallace
Richard Moneypenny: I don't just drive a bus.
I'm also a resterauntuer.
I'm mayor.
Forrest: That so.
Gabby squints as she tries to figure out how to word this... Steph would always
do such a good job of it...
Richard Moneypenny: Oh yeah.
Forrest is clearly not buying it
Forrest: So what's the mayor doing driving a bus.
Wallace: Follow me.
Narrator : He leads them to a booth
Gabby: ...This, um... You may not, uhh... It's gonna be... hard to believe, at f
irst...
Steph follows, not sure how she should feel about this restaurant
Lilly: Trust me, I can believe anything!
Richard Moneypenny: Hard times.
Jaime also follows, wondering if they've stumbled upon some mafia hideout
Forrest: Wow, even for the fucking mayor.
Space: wallace is really in with the mob
Richard Moneypenny: Since the Indians burned down town hall and half of B.C, you
'd be surprised, kid.
Forrest: The economy's gotta be in one hell of a spot.
Space: it a money laundering scheme
Forrest: God damn, that's a shame.
It isn't nearly that bad back in America.
Wallace: I'll be back with your menus in a moment... -sighs-. Would you like any
thing to drink...?
Richard Moneypenny: I'd believe.
*believe it
Jaime: Just water.
Forrest: Here's to the American Dream. We at my stop, yet?
Gabby: ...Alright, well... There is... There's some fricked up crap happening at
this school... Me and, uh... Steph, and Jaime were the first to discover it, bu
t, like...

Steph: Um, can I have a water, please?

Richard Moneypenny: ... Where is your stop, kid?
Forrest: Iiiiit's.......
Lilly nods
Forrest: Right here.
Richard Moneypenny slams the breaks
Richard Moneypenny: This one's on the house.
I like you, kid. And no the pedophile way.

Forrest: ....Thanks.
Good luck making Canada great again.
Forrest steps out of the bus
Richard Moneypenny drives off
Forrest watches the bus go
Forrest: ........
.....I cannot believe I did not die on that bus.
Forrest continues his journey home
Wallace: Of course...
Narrator : He mutters to himself as he walks away
Wallace: I have a masters, a PH.D, and here I am, serving drinks to teenagers...
Steph: ...Wow, what a guy, huh?
Mac D.: forrest's heroic march to home
Narrator : The bagpipes start up on the speakers.
Jaime: Mm, he could be worse.
Narrator : Forrest walks to his new haus.
Mac D.: all the irishmen go "FUCK OFF"
Narrator : He's home.
The one
one
Fawkes M.: Wait, where are the speakers?
Narrator : irish guy at the reseraunt
Forrest looks up at HOME
Narrator : in the resteraunt
He stands up, disgusted.
Forrest: ......
Narrator : And leaves without paying his bill.
Steph: ...Pfft!
Gabby: ...Like, frickin'... There's these monsters, and... and they come out, and
the school gets... all weird, and... and...
Steph: Jaime, do you hear that?
Jaime: ...Heh, I do. Are they serious?
Steph: Holy shit!
Forrest exhales and enters HOME
Steph: All these fake restaurants in this town...
Mobile L: Wallace is probably hitting his special flask to get through this one
Narrator : You can totally see Wallace doing that.
Like you can fucking
See him.
Mobile L: An Irish hero
Steph: ...I, uh... wonder whaat they've got on the menu?
Jaime: Hmm...
Mobile L: A Canadian hero, too
Jaime looks down at the menu
Lilly: ...
Lel Shitkid opens the door for Forrest
Lel Shitkid: Hiiiii!
Space: it's li'l soozie
Forrest looks down at her
Forrest: Hey there, Sooz.
Gabby: ...Naomi, she was... Wewe went in to investigate, and she... she was there

, and she... We didn't... We didn't see until it was too late, and...
Forrest: Mom and Dad home, yet?
Steph also takes that looksee
Gabby is just about as run-down and emotionally-vulnerable as she's ever been
Lel Shitkid: Noooooo.
Space: li'l soozie: 'in this world, it's kill or be killed'
Lel Shitkid: It's raining!
Forrest holds up his dripping arms
Forrest: How'd you guess....
Lilly just listens
Forrest: I'm going to go find a towel, and then I'll fix you a snack.
Narrator : Wallace returns with a menu.
Two menus.
He just throws them down.
Mac D.: i can feel seer jut
Jaime: ...
Steph ohp
Mac D.: choke
every time he has to write dialogue for the adorable little girl
Steph peers at them
Jaime now he does the looksee
Narrator : He turns and walks away.
Oh, the food seems authentic.
Breadbowls.
Stew.
Lamb.
Beef.
Fawkes M.: So I just FP-rolled a Medusa and Alexander in the same 10-roll
Space: holy SHit
Fawkes M.: I KNOW RIGHT
Gabby: ...Ffffffrickin'... Andand then, we... Time would freeze, and it wouldn't
stop, and we... we met this man... This weird man, and we got, um... powers... A
nd there were... There's these fricking grown men who're... they wanna stop us f
rom doing the stuff, and we can'twe're fricking chained to it, now, whatwhat choic
e do we have?!

Narrator : The haggis has been crossed out with marker, passive-aggresively has
been written "More than a few kilometers off."
Gabby shaky exhale
Mobile L: wow wallace
Steph: ..Mmm... hey, what happens if we ask for the haggis?
Lilly: ...
Mobile L: Wallace shoots himself in the bathroom
Jaime: Do you want to try?
Lel Shitkid: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Lel Shitkid walks into the house, dragging her little security blanket with her
Forrest walks in and gets a towel from a laundry room, then as he dries, heads i
nto the kitchen and fixes some APPLES AND PEANUT BUTTER OH FUCK YEAH
Mobile L: forrest is good big bro

Lel Shitkid was waiting at the table and begins eating that SAMMICH. PRISONER 66
6, YOU'RE A DANGEROUS NUN
Steph: Definitely!
Mobile L: you're going to kill Wallace
Lilly: ...
Jaime: Heh...
Jaime tries to hail Wallace
Forrest sits at the chair, drying himself off with the towel
Narrator : Wallace walks over with their waters.
Forrest: So, what'd you do today.
Wallace: What is it... you'll be having?
Steph: I'm gonna have the haggis!
Narrator : Wallace places the waters down
Jaime: Yeah, I'll have the haggis too.
Wallace: ... Ah.
Narrator : He squints.
Wallace: I am sad to inform you that the haggis has been crossed off the menu. I
know this may be a stretch to the imagination, but this means it is no longer a
n option.
Gabby: ...Anyway... There... O-other, uh... others found out, now Nathan and...
and this guy Teddy and the Texan are in with us, and they... they got their powe
rs...
Jaime: Have you run out?
Lel Shitkid: I read a book!
Steph: Can't you just print new menus or something?
Space: steph and jaime are horrible people and it's amazing
Forrest: Book, huh? Which one?
Mobile L: Abandoning a child, abusing an elderly man, being xenophobic to a well
-intentioned foreigner
Fawkes M.: They're actually at a shooting range with Wallace-shaped targets
Lilly: ...
Gabby: ...And, like, we... we learned that if we frickin' use the powers, this c
reep guy who's also a monster will come and... and take our hearts out like in In
diana Jones or some crap, and I fricking... I fricking do not know what to do, I
don't...!
Lel Shitkid: Everybody Poops!
Lel Shitkid claps
Mac D.: shitkid is a super genius who reads college-grade books at the age of fo
ur
Mobile L: Best Shitkid
Fawkes M.: Earning a degree in actual shit
Wallace: ...
Forrest: Good read. I remember reading that at your age.
Wallace: We do not serve it anymore.
Mobile L: aww, forrest
Wallace: And if you do not know why we cannot simply, as you say, print more men
us. Please, observe today's business, realize then the cost of simply printing m
ore f- ahem. Printing more menus.
Lilly has gone play
Lilly: *pale
Steph: Okay, so what's your recommendation? What's the best thing on the menu?
Lel Shitkid: Was it your favorite?
Jaime: Do you have anything that isn't on the menu?
Forrest: When I was little, for sure.
Lel Shitkid: What's your favorite now?
Mobile L: Wallace just barely holding it together

These two are the real shitkids

Forrest: Got a kick out of it every time it said "poop."
Space: theyre gonna give them a heart attack
Narrator : Wallace looks at Jaime
There's a long pause.
Wallace: No.
Gabby: ...Fffffffrick... so... so fricked up...
So... fricked up...
Gabby is crying again
Wallace: I recommend the Emerald Isle Stew.
Steph: I'll have that!
Lilly rests her hand on Gabby
Lilly: ...
Forrest: There's this book I swear by by this guy named Ryan Holiday. I'll tell
you about it when your older.
Jaime just looks down at the menu, to see what's in the Emerald Isle Stew
Lel Shitkid: Holiday?
Forrest: Yeah, like Christmas.
Narrator : Most pricey thing on the menu.
Forrest: It's not a book about Christmas, though.
Gabby: ...'M sorry... II shouldn'tve... I shouldn'tve s-said all that... frickin'
...
Narrator : And it has like lamb and shit
And it's in a breadbowl.
Jaime son of a - you can work with this, Jaime
Forrest: Gotta say though, not many of the grown-up books carry the simplistic c
harm of something like Everybody Poops.
Jaime scans the menu for something that looks palatable and only moderately pric
ed
Lel Shitkid: Everybody poops.
It's not my favorite, either.
Lilly: ... It's fine.
Narrator : Ah, lambchops.
And some halibut.
As in
Gabby sniffles and takes her glasses off again, wiping them on her vest for the
eight-millionth time
Narrator : those are moderately priced
not that they are served together
Forrest: That's an important life lesson.
What's your favorite, then?
Jaime: I'll have the lambchops.
Narrator : Wallace nods, takes their menus, and heads to the kitchen
Gabby: ...I don't... I don't even know why... Why 'm letting this bother me now.
.. I... I was doing pretty frickin' great... I was... h-handling it and... and b
eing brave...
...I think...
Steph: ...Oh, my gosh...
Lel Shitkid: It's the dictionary!
Steph snickers
Gabby: ...I think I even... I even thought I was ready to die...
Steph: We're horrible!
That poor guy...

Forrest: Wow, really?

Lel Shitkid: Yeah!
Lilly: ...
Gabby: I mean... I mean what's... how the heck is having a creep-guy tear your he
art out... a-any worse than being... killed by a monster... or shot by a conspir
acy fricker...?
Jaime: You think we're gonna give him a heart attack or anything?
Forrest: Man, when I was your age, I was terrified of the dictionary.
Steph: Oh, gosh, that'd be awful!
Lilly: ...
Steph is smiling
Forrest: You're already way more mature than I was.
Jaime smirks back
Narrator : Wallace eventually returns with their food.
Gabby takes another uncomfortable moment to breathe
Jaime: Wonder if they have a dessert menu...
Narrator : He just silently walks away.
Jaime looks down at the food
Narrator : It looks good.
Roll mind, Jaime.
Steph: Oh!
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Mind
{(
19
+
17
+
8
)}+-1
= 16
Narrator : The lamb is undercooked.
Steph starts to eat the delicious dinner...
Narrator : And it's clearly deblirately done, just from how undercooked.
Jaime: ...
Narrator : Steph enjoys some delicious stew.
Delicious.
Delicious.
Jaime takes a small bite to see if it's palatable like rare steak
Narrator : Stew.
Mobile L: Don't fuck with the Universal Union
Narrator : Just barely, Jaime.
The lamb in the stew is
It's
Mac D.: it just occured to me that the small child has been alone in the house f
or who knows how long
Narrator : Fucking
Still frozen
Steph: Thanks again, Jaime. This is really, uh...
...
Oh, my god!
Steph cracks up
Space: latchkey kid
Jaime: Hey, what's so funny?

Lel Shitkid: I like all the words!

Gabby: ...I think... I think it's that I... I made friends...
Lilly: ...
Gabby: ...I think it's that.
Forrest: Just remember not to use the one's you're not allowed to say.
.....Well, in front of grown-ups, anyway...
Space: Try this!
Steph: no me
Steph slides it over
Gabby: 'S... 's one frickin' thing if I die, and... all of them, I gotta... I go
tta worry about them...
Jaime takes an unused u-tensil and consumed a bit of stew
Gabby is just... in a very low place, emotionally
Forrest scoots out of his chair and stands up
Forrest: Alright, I'm heading up to my room. Come hang out with me until mom and
dad get home.
Lilly can't say anything
Narrator : Wallace celebrates his victory
He's pumping his arms in the kitchen.
Gabby realizes this and feels even worse
Narrator : Majestically.
Like a soaring eagle.
Like he is giving a speech to a crowd of adoring subjects.
Jaime: Just like my lamb, actually.
Steph: Frozen?
Mobile L: High-fiving the head chef and having another swig from the special fla
sk
Narrator : He offers the head chef a high give.
Jaime: Well, mine's almost pretty raw!
Steph: Hahaha!
C'mon, let's get out of here.
Narrator : The head chef is a woman, red haired, middle aged.
Mobile L: Ahahahahaha
Narrator : She just shakes her had.
*head
Mobile L: friendzoned by judith..........
Jaime: Like that one Irishman?
Lel Shitkid: Can do!
Forrest: Alrighty then...
Steph: Like who?
Forrest cleans the table and heads UPSTAIRS
Steph gets up, fully intending to dine and dash
Lilly: I...
...
Forrest gets out the game console and cycles through the games
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
9
)
= 9
Gabby: ...'M sorry, Lilly... 'M so... so sorry...

Narrator : Wallace was not enthused enough in his victory.

Jaime: Earlier when they played that song on the speaker?
Narrator : He seems them.
Steph: Oh, shit, yeah!
Jaime also gets up
Wallace: COLOMBO, STOP THEM!!!!
Mobile L: oh god
Forrest Backstreet Brawler 3.....to mechanically complex.....Sword of the Machin
a....ah, kids aren't into JRPGS....Jiggle Quest 5.....not in front of the youth
Narrator : Colombo, the big, scary guy with a billy club, walks out fom the bac
room.
Steph: ,,,
Holy shit.
Jaime: ...
Mobile L: OPPAI
Steph: Let's get going!
Steph RUN
Forrest AH, here we go. Nipples The Enchillada, a child-favorite
Jaime: We were just going to use the rest-- oh, forget it!
Jaime RUN
Lilly: ... Don't be.
Narrator : Colombo chases after them, along with Wallace.
Forrest: Wanna play some Nip, Sooz?
Narrator : The smiling face of nipples stares up at Forrest
Space: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
8
+
16
+
1
)}+1
= 9
oh...
Jaime: How do we lose 'em?
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
4
+
12
+
10
)}+1
= 11
Lel Shitkid: I love nipples!
Mobile L: knock knock it's nipples
Lel Shitkid: *Nipples
it's a proper noun, you know
Forrest: It sure is.
Narrator : Colombo just grabs Steph by the scruff of the neck
Forrest plugs that shit in and hands Shitkid the controller
Steph: Gck-!
Narrator : While Breen huffs and puffs after Jaime.
Gabby: ...I... I kinda spilled that... a-all over your lap, didn't I...?

Forrest: I've gotta do some work, so try not to be too loud, okay?
Narrator : And loses him, because he's old.
Steph: Let me go!
Jaime: Dammit...
Wallace: I'm only... sixty...
Jaime turns around
Colombo: I don't think so.
Jaime and STARTS BACK THAT WAY
Steph struggles to escape the frightening man's grasp
Mobile L: Breen is literally gonna have a heart attack
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
5
+
10
+
8
)}+1
= 9
Space: it's up to jaime
Mac D.: save the fair maiden, you knight in shining douchebag
Mobile L: Jaime: The One Free Man, the Opener of the Way
Jaime: Hey, waiter!
Lel Shitkid plays Nipples the Enchilada, loving the shit out of it
Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4jubP3t27IQ
Lel Shitkid: :D
Forrest sits at his computer and starts doing some research into LOCAL FUCKING L
IBRARIES
Wallace: What!?
Narrator : Colombo holds on, iron-tight.
Jaime keeps looking at Wallace, reaching into his pocket, pulling something out.
..
Lilly: It's fine.
Steph: C
Narrator : Ah, yes, there are some.
Steph: *C'mon! I don't even have any money!
Jaime it is...
Jaime: I do.
Jaime his wallet
Narrator : A few fine libraries.
Wallace: ... Oh.
Forrest beep boops their addresses into his phone
Steph: ...!
Narrator : He has the addresses
Fawkes M.: Does Jaime have to roll for the amount of cash he has in his wallet?
Narrator : no he's a lancaster
Fawkes M.: Excellent
Space: they always pay their debts
Forrest then proceeds to do various internet searches for local snake-themed org
anizations

Gabby:
Narrator : British Columbian Snake Lovers
The Snake Order
Snakes United
Jaime pulls out a pretty big banknote
Forrest writes this shit down
Gabby sniffles and resumes with trying to get her composure back
Narrator : Scalie-Type Otherkin Union
Jaime: Sorry about that.
Jaime hands the bill over to Wallace
Steph: ...
Wallace: ... It's fine.
Gabby: ...U-uh...
Mac D.: can i have a note for Notes
Jaime: Keep the change, for your trouble.
Wallace: Colombo, let her go.
Gabby: ...Th-thank you... For listening...
Narrator : Colombo lets her go.
Steph: ...Geez...
I hope you didn't give them a tip.
Narrator : there duff
there you go
Jaime: I don't think I did.
Narrator : They walk off.
Jaime not willing to talk about le hefty prices
Lilly: ... It's nothing...
Lilly doesn't know what to think
Lilly: rolling 1d20
(
14
)
= 14
Steph: ...
Lilly but believes it
Forrest: ...isn't much, but it's a start....
Steph: ...Whoo... that was pretty fun.
Mac D.: ELIAS!?
Ed Stuart: ... Jaime Lancaster.
Ed Stuart watches them
Gabby:
Jaime: Heh... sorry we didn't-...
Steph: ...?
Jaime turns over to Ed
Steph: Jaime? Do you know this guy?
Gabby ah yes... the awkward interval following, where you have to think of some
nicety to patch things over
Ed Stuart scowls
Ed Stuart: Same as ever.

Jaime: You too, Ed. Just like middle school.

Steph is sensing some tension
Ed Stuart: ...
Forrest then takes the time to click over to his blog. "A Bunch Of Horseshit: Ho
w Everything You Know Is Wrong."
Forrest making sure Sooz isn't looking his way when the blog title is up
Forrest: .......
Jaime: Still selling winter coats for the family?
Year-round?
Ed Stuart: ...
Winter's coming, Jaime.
Steph: .......
Ed Stuart: Whether you like it or not.
Forrest folds his arms, wondering what he'll write about
Forrest: ......
Narrator : Sitkid is looking the other way.
Forrest ......Bottled Water. There's a subject he hasn't tackled yet.
Narrator : His blog stands before him, his small gathering of followers all onli
ne.
Forrest typity typity
Jaime shrugs
Jaime: Not a bad slogan.
Forrest the time has come to smash the barrel of falsehood and let loose the del
icious ale of TRUTH to the masses once more
Gabby wipes her eyes on her sleeve and clambers around for something else to eve
n say
Forrest or in this case, the plastic bottle and glorified tap water
Steph looks between the two of them, uncertainly
Forrest TYPITY TYPE
Narrator : roll mind to get particularily indpeth, increased, forrest
Ed Stuart: ... Goodbye.
Jaime: Goodbye.
Ed Stuart walks off, with a bunch of winter coats on his arm
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
18
+
20
+
11
)+1
= 50
they will know
THEY WILL ALL KNOW
Fawkes M.: Typical salesmen
Steph: ...Uh...

Ed Stuart is dying under the heat, was not meant for it

Mac D.: i can just picture forrest's online community
Narrator : This really is just art.
Fawkes M.: Is his neck melting?
Narrator : Like actually.
This will become famous.
Steph: Who was that guy>
?
Mac D.: there's the Normie, the smug skeptic with opposing conspiracy theories,
the guy who blames everything on the jews
Narrator : This is the single best post.
Gabby: ...If... If you wanna know more about the stuff... Steph's got good notes
on it...
Forrest: .......
Narrator : They will eat this shit up.
Forrest cracks
Narrator : And
Jaime: ...Just
Steph: An old,
Okay.

his knuckles. Just another day on the job.....

then shit in their own mouths just to get some more.
an old friend from middle school.
uhm...

Ed Stuart 's neck in particular is badly sunburned and red

Lilly: I-I'll...
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Mobile L: Ten minute warning on my end, maybe a bit fewer. I can recap myself, t
hough.
Fawkes M.: He needs a steak for his neck
Lilly: I just need to think about all of this
Forrest aaaaand, POST.
Forrest the world is not ready, but it needs to understand
Jaime: ...
Gabby: ...I... I understand...

Steph: ...Wanna walk me home?

Gabby just sorta nods, shallowly, and swallows
Space: https://40.media.tumblr.com/d32f19f9d3e7ab4102e413b6ef78f6ae/tumblr_nzn0p
yzIXL1qzd1axo1_540.jpg sin
Jaime: ...Oh. Sure.
Lilly stands up
Lilly: Bye.
Fawkes M.: oh GOD
Lilly hurries off
Steph smiles at him
Narrator : He posts it.
Jaime takes a second to smile back
Narrator : The wold will be changed.
Forrest: ......
Forrest boots up Doom
Gabby: ...Bye...
Lel Shitkid just aced the entire game in these few minutes

Lel Shitkid somehow did a speedrun

Lel Shitkid: ... Yay!
Forrest: ...?
Forrest looks back at her
Jaime: ...Which way is your house, again?
Lel Shitkid: I did it!
Forrest: Beat it?
Lel Shitkid: Yeah!
Narrator : Gabby is alone.
Until
Forrest: ...Hm....A little slower than last time.
Steph: Oh, it's this way.
Narrator : A tall, pasty, awkward guy who's all sweaty walks up to her
Steph starts a-walkin'
Gabby: ?
Narrator : Carrying a bunch of winter coats
Forrest: Were you messing around more this time?
Jaime walks along with her
Ed Stuart: ... Winter's coming.
Gabby has clearly been crying, a lot
Ed Stuart: ...
Steph: Oh, hey, Lilly!
Jaime: Hey.
Lilly blanches on the sight of them and quickly rushes past
Steph: ...
Steph looks back over her shoulder at her
Gabby is a tiny, intense-looking girl who has been crying violently
Gabby:
Steph: ...Does she...?
...
Steph keeps walking
Ed Stuart: I, eh...
Jaime: ...Probably not.
Ed Stuart: ... Christ, are you goin' to be alright?
Jaime does likewise
Steph: ...
Gabby: ...Y-yeah... 'M not gonna... go into detail...
Steph fuck it's the politician fucko
Gabby: That'd just...

Sherwood Cotter is kissing babies and putting up posters

Steph: Ugh.
Let's take the long way.
Naomi: sorry duff
i missed you
Fawkes M.: Recap me on this person? I wasn't there for them
Space: :c naomi
Mac D.: it's okay dead girl

Gabby: ...Sorry... I don't... I don't have cash, either...

Space: oh he was giving a speech
Fawkes M.: You two don't have emotional attachments either way
Space: teddy disruptted it to shout about conspiracies
Mac D.: a redneck throws red paint on cotter and runs off
Fawkes M.: I recall violence and-- ah
Lel Shitkid: I was...
Mac D.: "JUSTICE FOR THE GARDEN DISTRICTS"
Lel Shitkid: I liked hitting the Mayor.
Forrest: No one likes the Mayor.
Steph starts to go the long way
Space: kinda looks like hes sideeying her from there
Jaime: Yeah, let's.
Lel Shitkid: He makes a funny noise!
Ed Stuart: ...
Here.
Ed Stuart puts a coat down by here
Steph: ...So, uhm..
Ed Stuart: For free.
Fawkes M.: Sorry, my map is wonky
Space: now orries
Fawkes M.: Just the trackpad
Forrest: Just make sure you don't hit any real mayors. The noises they make aren
't as funny.
Forrest checks the clock to see how close the ETA for mum and da are
Gabby: ...Uh... Frick, you don't... You don't gotta do that...
Jaime: ...?
Gabby guilt-sniffle
Sherwood Cotter is so self-absored he doesn't notice them
Steph: Sometimes I think about stuff like... y'know, how long I'm gonna be aroun
d.
Ed Stuart: Don't worry.
I'll be fine.
Jaime: ...
Ed Stuart: ...
My name is Ed.
Ed Stuart.
Narrator : Well.
Just as he does that.
Gabby: ...Uh... 'M Gabby... Gabby, uh... Tran...
Steph: And, uh... if you get into a mindset where your time is limited, then nat
urally it's going to... um, lemme back up.
Gabby gives a small nod and tries to get the cordial-serious look again
Space: holy god
Loren Freeman steps inside the house, followed by her husband
Forrest: ...?
Jaime: What is it?
Bryce Freeman takes off his boots
Steph: Jaime, I don't know what to think about you.
Forrest: Sounds like they're home, Sooz.
Bryce Freeman: Sooz, Forrest!
Jaime: ....

Steph: ...
Wow, saying that was the worst idea I've ever had!
Let's, um.
...
Forrest waves
Forrest: Hey, Dad.
Steph: Let's keep going? Uh... my house is pretty close.
Ed Stuart: ...
Stay safe, Gabby.
Jaime: ...Oh, that's good. Just a bit more, right?
Steph: Yep!
Just a bit more.
Ed Stuart: Winter's really cold.
Steph: Just, uh... y'know, a little while.
Space: i like ed
Gabby: ...Y-you too... Uh... Thank you...
Ed Stuart walks off
Gabby sniffles and nods to him as he leaves
Gabby:
Steph hurries, somewhat bashful now
Forrest shuts off the computer and looks over at them
Bryce Freeman: Hey, Forrest.
Gabby takes some deep breaths, gets up and manages to get back home
Bryce Freeman: How's the new school?
Mobile L: aaaand that is all for tonight, from me
Steph too preoccupied with Certain Troubles to notice the baseball fanatic follo
wing them
Space: guden nachten mobile
Loren Freeman immediatly goes to play with Sooz
Mac D.: rest well mob
Jaime just accompanies her, not exactly sure if that meant what he suspected...
Mobile L: Will recap myself, good sesh. G'night, all.
Loren Freeman: night
Fawkes M.: Guten nacht
Forrest: It's fine. First day was okay.
How was work.
Jaime: ...
Bryce Freeman: It was great. Forrest, I love it here.
Mac D.: can you just picture
this joyous anime family
and this miserable fat fuck standing with them
Space: cherry blossoms fluttering down gently
Bryce Freeman: It's so wild.
Mac D.: Wild?
Jaime: ...Do you hear that?
Forrest: isaidthat
Liz Rubik : Hey, you two.
Steph looks back
Liz Rubik : I saw that lightshow yesterday.
Steph: ...Hey, you're that, uh...

...
Liz Rubik : Don't beat around the bush.
Fawkes M.: Wait, is this the speech person?
Liz Rubik : no
Fawkes M.: Missing one sesh really kriffed with me
Liz Rubik : she saw the fight with quest they had
Space: she's a baseball player in another school, steph knows of her because she
follows local sports
Forrest: .....Yeah, I guess you could call it wild.
Bryce Freeman: Yeah...
Forrest: The bus drivers around here seem eccentric, to say the least.
Bryce Freeman: All those trees.
Bus drivers?
Steph: ...I'm not... sure? What you're talking about??
Forrest: Yeah, I took the bus to get home.
Fawkes M.: But nothing of notable violence happened to her?
Bryce Freeman: nope
Fawkes M.: Or involving her
Bryce Freeman: she saw their fight with quest but no one noticed
Fawkes M.: Gotcher
Bryce Freeman: How eccentric?
Forrest: I am almost entirely certain he was an escaped convict.
Bryce Freeman: Jersey eccentric?
Jaime: ...Do you play baseball?
Jaime being a shirou
Bryce Freeman: Oh, Detroit eccentric.
Liz Rubik : Name's Liz, bub.
Forrest: Yeah, I wouldn't go that far.
Liz Rubik : I love baseball.
Forrest: I didn't die, though, which is evident.
Liz Rubik : But what I love more's a good story, and I'd like it if you'd give i
t to me straight, like a good apple pie.
What was with the magic shit?
Steph: (...oh my god)
Vlad is watching this, thinking "What the fuck"
Jaime: Um... I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about.
Mac D.: do steph and jaime think this is how Americans talk
Steph: Is this some kind of viral marketing thing?
Bryce Freeman: Oh, well, uh...
Steph yes
Mac D.: GOOD
Forrest: ....So work was good?
Bryce Freeman: ... He didn't, uh, I- Oh!
Jaime probably
Bryce Freeman: I planted at least one hundred and ten trees!
Forrest: Sh-....Uh, Dang. That's got to be a new record.
Bryce Freeman: It was!
Liz Rubik : I said give it to me straight.
I don't have time for messing around, I gotta make my next game.
Forrest: Oh, cool. Did they give you a bonus or anything?
Jaime: ...No, really, I don't have a clue.
Steph: I've got to go home. And I have... uh, no idea what the fuck you're talki
ng about.
Soooooooooo...
Bryce Freeman: Sure did!
We're gonna go out to a nice restaurant on Saturday to celebrate!

Jaime wondering if they'll have to stall her till the game comes up
Forrest: Oh, cool, where to?
Liz Rubik stares right through Steph's soul
Liz Rubik : roll spirit
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Spirit
{(
16
+
7
+
18
)}+-1
= 15
Space: praise be
Jaime: attagirl
Liz Rubik : rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Spirit
{(
15
+
8
+
1
)}+2
= 10
Liz Rubik scowls
Jaime: thanks, lancer
Space: canadian jesus
Bryce Freeman: We're going to the Du Pont De Gerard!
Steph: ...
Bryce Freeman: It's French! Well, French Canadian.
Jaime: ...
Forrest: Sounds fancy....Never had french food before.
I have Canadian food, earlier today.
Steph figures that she's got to do something that vlad will remember, rather tha
n him remembering the magic stuff
Steph takes Jaime's hand
Bryce Freeman: Oh yeah?
Steph: Okay, let's go.
Forrest: Yeah, in the cafeteria.
Jaime: --!
Vlad: Liz, fuck off, go fondle those balls.
Forrest: ...Y'know, 'cause we're in Canada...
Steph: ...
Jaime: ...Alright, yeah.
Steph fuck, the hand was unnecessary
Steph vlad is a trustworth...
Bryce Freeman: Hahahah!
Liz Rubik smirks
Steph can't let go now...
Liz Rubik : You wish, Vlad.
Forrest: ....-clear throat-

Liz Rubik walks off

Steph the situation is awkward
Steph keeps going...
Forrest: ....Hey, um, I was gonna head to one of the libraries in town, that oka
y?
Jaime doesn't let go juuust yet
Vlad continues being sullen
Steph: ...
Bryce Freeman: Hehahah- Oh, uh, sure.
Just be careful.
Steph pulls her hand away when it's safe to do so
Forrest: I will, don't worry. I'll keep off the buses this time.
Steph: ...Figured it'd get his mind off that, um...
...Gosh, we're almost there.
Bryce Freeman: Loren could, uh, drive you.
Forrest shakes its head
Bryce Freeman: its
forrest isn't human
Forrest: you've seen too much, father
i'm sorry
SKREEEE
Bryce Freeman: no
Jaime: Yeah, almost there.
Bryce Freeman: urghhhh
Jaime glances over at his watch again
Forrest: It's fine. There's a library not far from here.
Steph: ...
Steph mumbles
Narrator : It's like 4:00
Forrest: Besides, you guys just got home from work.
Narrator : 4:30
Fawkes M.: Should I have Jaime roll to catch that?
Bryce Freeman: Alright.
Space: do it
Bryce Freeman: Well, call if you need anything.
Forrest: I will. Promise.
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Mind
{(
4
+
16
+
9
)}+-1
= 8
Narrator : catch what
Jaime: nothing
Space: what steph mumbled
Forrest: See you, Dad. See you, Mom. Later, Sooz.
Narrator : They all say bye.
They love you, Forrest.

Except Uncle Lester.

Forrest they fucking shouldn't
Narrator : But he's in jail now
Steph: ...
Fawkes M.: They have to love you unless they go to jail
Forrest at least Uncle Lester was honest in his shame
Jaime: ...
Steph: ...Jaime, there's...
Narrator : if you don't love forrest
you go to jail
Forrest heads to the lie-berry
Steph: ...Never mind.
It's just up ahead.
Space: having fun
isn't hard
when you've got a library card
Jaime: ...
Forrest walks out the door, and his relaxed-but-exhausted face immediately rever
ts to his irritated-and-exhausted face the second he steps out
Jaime tries to see if he can see the house from here
Forrest does he bump into any freaks on his way there
Forrest approaches the library front gates
Space: how deep does the rabbit hole go...???!?
Fawkes M.: Take the red pill
Narrator : No, but the library is full of freaks
Forrest excellent
Forrest his ELEMENT
Forrest enters the institute of learning
Narrator : HE CAN, JAIME
YOU CAN
THERE IT IS
THE RED BRICK HOUSE
LOOK THERE
No one stares at him as he enters.
Jaime: ...Is that it over there?
Narrator : Look at all of these colourful characters.
What do you do now Forrest.
Steph: Yeah, that's it.
Jaime keeps a-walking thataway
Narrator : Jaime walks right up to it
He can smell it
It smells like coffee.
Steph: ...I'm not sure if Grandpa is home yet, so...
Forrest offers the freaks the same courtesy
Forrest approaches the front desk
Forrest: Excuse me.
Narrator : The guy at the front desk looks at him
Mac D.: the town's called richmond right

Jaime right, her grandpa...

Narrator : Belmont
Jaime: oh my gof
*god
Mac D.: belmont thank you
Narrator : richmond is a town in ontario
Space: richmond virginia
Steph knock knock knock
Jaime waits
Forrest: I'm looking for books on the local history of Belmont.
Narrator : No one answers.
Fawkes M.: Where'd you get Richmond?
Space: wow jasper and hall are hanging together after school even
Narrator : The crusty old guy running the place points at the place
with the books
Steph gets out her key and opens the door
Forrest approaches BOOK
Forrest hunts for BOOK
Jaime was about to open his mouth before KEY
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
16
+
17
+
10
)+1
= 44
Narrator : Oh, there's a COMPREHENSIVE ONE
Space: a clear understanding of the dewey decimal system
Forrest: ...
Steph: ...Uh...
Forrest checks the title
Steph: ...I have a parrot.
Narrator : The Entire History of Belmont and Surrounding Areas: From Antiquity t
o Modern Era.
Jaime: ...Oh. What's his name?
Forrest yeah this one's a keeper
Forrest tucks it under his arm
Narrator : The door is open to steph's house
there's a statue of buddha in the doorway
Forrest AND NOW: to find a book on local legend and folklore
Narrator : as in
in the entrance
like
not
IN
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(

13
+
12
+
10
)+1
= 36
Narrator : the doorway
Steph: It's, uh, it's Prospero.
Narrator : Oh, there are a couple on First Nations folklore.
Jaime: Ah.
...
Forrest TAKES that shit too
Narrator : A writing by the old Bishop of the Archdiocese.
Steph: ...
Forrest is also making little effort to tune out the conversations around him
Jaime: ...
...Should I go?
Steph: I don't even know.
...
Steph quickly
Steph: I- I mean, um... I don't know if that's... you know, proper or not.
Forrest: your hair smells foul
Dr. Graham and Dr. Venter are having a hushed, intense-ass conversation
Forrest: get it out of my face
....?
Forrest gives it a listen
Gordon Knotts is alone
Dr. Hall is talking to the student like a rapist
Jaime: ...Do we have a lot of homework?
Steph: I got most of mine done in class...
Forrest Gordon Knotts.........
Jaime: Right.
Dr. Graham: I don't know what's going on, but it's clearly not normal.
Forrest wonders where he's heard that name before
Dr. Graham: You have to ackJaime: Sorry, just - this day's felt like a few weeks.
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
16
+
17
+
17
)+1
= 51
Steph: ...Did-Did you?
Dr. Venter: Those children are in serious danger, Looey.
Dr. Graham: Not my name.
Forrest: ........?

Forrest but enough of THAT shit what are THESE two old biddies talking about
Gordon Knotts is known to Forrest as a really weird author
Forrest ahhh.....an author in a library!
Forrest probably here to shill a book
Gordon Knotts is peacefully reading
Fawkes M.: Shit, did he?
Mac D.: his computer probably overheated
Narrator : uh i think he probably has some
but not much
idk
Space: my connection
Dr. Graham: hi space
Forrest: .....
Dr. Graham: We...
You're right...
Forrest social interaction is oil to his water, so he keeps himself to himself a
nd continues to listen to the two doctors
Dr. Graham: The project can wait.
I think we should lend them a hand.
Dr. Venter: Now that is the ticket.
Forrest: (...Project?)
Jaime: ...Yeah, I've done most of it, too.
Dr. Venter: You can't fix the human condition if you won't help kids, yes?
Forrest: ....
Dr. Graham: ... I suppose?
I don't know how you keep roping me into this...
Steph: I could help you finish it...
Dr. Graham: All I wanted was to get Hall's licence revoked...
Forrest: .....
Mac D.: and then they KISSSSSSSED
Forrest: .....
Forrest oh this has nothing to do with monsters does it
Jaime: ...Sure, that'll help.
Dr. Venter: Come on!
Jaime: Thanks.
Dr. Venter stands up
Dr. Venter heads out, quickly checking out some books
Forrest: .......
Space: i think the connection is doing the thing where it pauses and then a bunc
h get sent out at once
Dr. Venter: she can help jaime fix it
Steph: Yeah, just - come on in.
Steph enters
Mac D.: i also know that pain
Forrest: ......
Narrator : On the other side...
Jaime steps in
Forrest looks over at the other side

Narrator : It seems like creepy fatty is shatting with oldman.

Steph: Uh... wanna meet Prospero? He can talk...
Forrest: ...?
Forrest more new faces
Narrator : Your weird history teacher is sitting there, dead eyed.
Forrest ....Well, a little more eavesdropping can't hurt
Jaime: Oh, um - sure.
Forrest: .....
Narrator : A fat old.... Japanese? lady is happily reading
And some hipster is too
Mac D.: OBA SAN
Steph goes to grab the burd from her room
Fawkes M.: Headsup - gotta sign out by :25
Mac D.: WE MUST BE CAREFUL
Narrator : kk
Space: thatd be wise for me too
Roland Glass: That's a very interesting view on it, I myself take the more ortho
dox Tibetan view of the whole affair, you know?
shit
Ronald Karling: i said that
Forrest: ...
Forrest quietly shuffles over to the other end of the library and has a sit, lis
tening to the two men and watching the two women
Forrest *two women and an OBAASAN
Fawkes M.: Wait, so
The Buddha statue was in the library?
Forrest oh god fucking RELIGIONNN
Roger Perkins: I appreciate the Buddhist way of looking at life, but don't think
I could sing up with it myself.
no
it was in
steph;s house
Jaime waits
Jaime exhales a bit
Fawkes M.: Karling
Karloman
Roger Perkins: he's her maternal grandfather
Fawkes M.: Tibet
Oh
I'm a baka
Steph: Heya, Prospero... got a new friend for you to meet!
Forrest: .....
Narrator : The fat old lady is just really jovial, smiling.
The dead-eyed woman seems on th verge of just dying.
And the hipster is a hipster
Roger Perkins: Anyway, my name's Roger, what's yours?
Ronald Karling: Ah, Ronald.
It's very good to meet you, Roger.
Forrest looks over at his bummed-out teacher, the hipster, and the POWERFUL OBAA
SAN
Roger Perkins: It's mutual.

That's the best conversation I've had in years.

I knew going to the library was worth it today.
Ms. Lao is not bummed out
Ms. Lao looks dead inside
Ms. Lao just fucking dead
Forrest: ......
Forrest thinks
Forrest the history teacher might know something of interest....
Forrest approaches her
Forrest: Excuse me.
Space: whaddabout the burd
Ms. Lao: ...
Narrator : Propspero is sleeping.
Forrest: .........
Steph: ...Oh...
Narrator : Enjoy your fucking sleeping bird.
Steph heads back down to the living room
Steph: Sorry, he's taking a little nap...
Forrest: ....Ms. Lao.
Jaime: ...That's fine.
Ms. Lao: ...
Hello.
Space: my plan to get seer to roleplay as a parrot isn't coming to fruition
Steph: ...Well, uh, let's get started.
Forrest: ...It's Forrest, from school.
Steph begins the session of tutoring and schoolsing
Jaime: Yeah, let's get started.
Forrest: The new kid. The American.
Steph it is awkward, and the tension
Jaime is the pupil
Mac D.: and then they KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED
Ms. Lao nods
Space: duff, the shipper
Fawkes M.: And then Iblis opened both of their hearts to the sky because he ship
s it too
THE END
Space: good end
Fawkes M.: If you need me, I shall be on the Skyp
Forrest: ....I'm looking to learn about this town's local history. Do you know i
f anything of particular interest happened that I should research
Space: far wale
Fawkes M.: Fair whales
Ms. Lao: ... No...
...
One thing...
Maybe.
There was...
Forrest: ...Can you tell me.

Ms. Lao sighs

Ms. Lao: Nevermind.
It doesn't matter.
Forrest: Ah-..Sorry.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, please go on.
Space: well my friends
Ms. Lao: ... It really doesn't matter.
Space: this was a good esh
Ms. Lao: make like a leaf
Space: but i'm phone too now
Forrest: It is a subject of interest to me.
Ms. Lao: ...
There was a big explosion in the sixties...
By our school...
It killed a lot of people, and no one knows quite what happened...
Forrest: ......So it's a mystery.
Ms. Lao: Yes.
Forrest: This is exactly what I was looking for, thank you.
Ms. Lao: ... You're welcome.
Forrest writes some shit down
Forrest then looks back up at her
Forrest: Thank you very much, Ms. Lao. I'll see you in class tomorrow.
Ms. Lao: ...
Ms. Lao nods
Forrest: ...
Forrest quietly excuses himself to check out his books and go the fuck home
Ms. Lao: and that's a rap
Mac D.: maaan i fuckin love this roll20
Ms. Lao: i take it you enjoyed it
Mac D.: YE
i love playing a grouchy fuck
Ms. Lao: what did you think about the npcs you've met
Mac D.: i diggum
all of em
especially that richard monepenny...
Richard Moneypenny: i'm magic
Forrest: out, wizard
spirit begone from this houst
Richard Moneypenny: eueeugugghghg
Mac D.: but yeah god damn i cannot WAIT for the next sesh
Richard Moneypenny: it's fun to gm
Mac D.: it's fun to play
that obaasan has some sort of significance i KNOW IT
Richard Moneypenny: hehe
Mac D.: i'm trying to find the orchestral rendition of the phoenix wright corner
ed themes
for use when Forrest exposes TRUTH
Richard Moneypenny: i'll find something
if you had to pick a favorite npc so far
Mac D.: mu
Richard Moneypenny: really
Mac D.: yeah
i find him to be very interesting and Genuinely Mysterious
Richard Moneypenny: good
i like forrest
Mac D.: you dooo?

Richard Moneypenny: he's the hero this city needs

Mac D.: i FOUND IT
Richard Moneypenny: what
oh yes
Mac D.: the Cornered theme i want to use
Richard Moneypenny: i know
Mac D.: i can't find it on soundcloud but i can get riv to convert it
pick betweeeeen
the original
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr9AVYDEeMQ
or its orchestral arrangement
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MD9pL-qWASY
Richard Moneypenny: orchestral
Mac D.: wait hang on
how about this cover
https://soundcloud.com/crane43/pursuit-wanting-to-find-the-truth
and this one's on soundcloud
Richard Moneypenny: i'll take it
Forrest: I can say, without a doubt, Iblis.
That I know for a fact.....
Forrest POINTS
Forrest: ...Why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
Iblis: No! Impossible.
Forrest: You did a good job cleaning up the scene of the crime...but you left on
e damning piece of evidence.
Iblis: I did no such thing..
Forrest POINT
Forrest: A single cereal piece, lying under the ottoman.
Forrest TAKE THAT!
Forrest: Oh? Then explain this.
Forrest holds up a plastic bag....containing a piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!!
Iblis: Shit.
I mean.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Forrest: We analyzed it back at the lab, confirming an EXPLOSIVE amount of cinna
mony flavor in every. Single. Bite.
Iblis undergoes a breakdown
Forrest: This case.....
Forrest turns his back
Forrest: ....Is closed.
Iblis rubs his arm
Iblis: ... That's how I went to prison.
Mac D.: forrest is gonna be a fun time
Forrest: ...
Forrest looks back
Forrest: i had a feeling i'd find you here.....the iblis trigger
it's no use
how bout THIS
eldritch s. (GM): hello
Mac D.: there u are
eldritch s. (GM): i'm here
Mac D.: i can see

eldritch s. (GM): why have you come

Mac D.: oh i just wanted to hang out and listen to the music you got
eldritch s. (GM): okay
Mac D.: so
explain the cosmology of the setting to me again
eldritch s. (GM): right
what is your knowledge base
Mac D.: okay so what i got is
the ordinary mortal world is the First Heaven
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Mac D.: the fucked up monster mash they go to is the Second Heaven
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Mac D.: and the goal they're aware of so far is to find and open the door to the
Third Heaven which is apparently a paradise where all your dreams come true, an
actual Heaven
eldritch s. (GM): basically yes
Mac D.: i wonder why they're all called Heavens...
eldritch s. (GM): goo question
mr mu says that nihilists were made to guard the third heaven, as he says the se
cond one was made to test humans on their way
he says they did too good of a job and it wasn't fair
so he was made to help humans
Mac D.: does he know of any existence outside the Heavens
eldritch s. (GM): well that includes like our universe
so no he doesn't
Mac D.: odd how our universe is classified as a "Heaven"....
eldritch s. (GM): yes
i mean the second heaven doesn't deserve that title either
it's horrible
Mac D.: it's more like Hell
eldritch s. (GM): it's also divided into several parts
styx is the overlap between the 1st and 2nd heavens
then there's lethe, erebus, phlegethon, acheron, cocytus, and tartarus
Mac D.: are those like realms
eldritch s. (GM): more like regions i suppose
Mac D.: are they regions of the second heaven or like islands on Styx
eldritch s. (GM): regions of the second heaven
Mac D.: ahh i see
are they like psychological representations of shit
eldritch s. (GM): who knows
Mac D.: god i wanna play again tonight HRRRGH
eldritch s. (GM): so do i
Mac D.: so what is Bryce's job
eldritch s. (GM): he plants trees
Mac D.: good man
what's loren do
eldritch s. (GM): i don't know
what would she do
Mac D.: she doesn't like to talk about her job at home
what's the canadian equivalent of the National Guard
wait no
she's a Mountie
eldritch s. (GM): yes
we have no national guard, by the way
just army reserves and such
wait how recent was this move
Mac D.: a couple days
eldritch s. (GM): i think yeah she could be am ountie
WAIT
she's not a canadian citizen

she can't be
unless
she has
eldritch s. (GM): she came from canada
dual citizenship, is what i'm getting at
Mac D.: back in Hoboken she was known as one of the most brutally hard-boiled an
d successful police officers in the country
the Canadian goverment bypassed processes and specifically asked for her by name
to fill their ranks, offering a huge sum of money
eldritch s. (GM): yes
she was just that good
Mac D.: it's the reason behind the move
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Mac D.: course you'd never guess just by looking at her because she is a sweet a
nime mom
eldritch s. (GM): https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0b/91/15/0b911566566
60f6e2c757876c006dfd6.jpg this is the everyday mountie uniform, by the way
they don't wear the red shit all the time
Mac D.: background plot: Loren wages a one-woman war on the Canadian Bottled Wat
er Industry after the revelation of an anonymous blog post cracking the horrific
underbelly of the business right open
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Mac D.: now i'm picturing the Freemans being this family of secret badasses
eldritch s. (GM): sooz is a prodigy at games
loren is the ace cop
Mac D.: "bryce dear the north koreans are invading belmont"
"hang on sweetie let's get suited up"
eldritch s. (GM): i like to imagine bryce is just fucking helpless
Mac D.: bryce opens up a secret doorway to the basement leading to a hallway lin
ed with illegal firearms
eldritch s. (GM): his wife is liking doing judo moves
and snapping necks
and he's just trying to plant a tree
Mac D.: "honey, i know you're busy, but this noise is gonna hurt the sapling....
"
i like to imagine that bryce is a rather meek and harmless man compared to his w
ife
until you fuck with his trees
eldritch s. (GM): he grabs his shovel
and beats the guy to death with it
Mac D.: "someone needs a lesson in respecting nature"
eldritch s. (GM): he tears off his shirt
he's ripped
Mac D.: he's covered in scars from fighting off bears
Space: all the party member fathers are meek and harmless except jaime
*'s
Johann Lancaster: I'm not helpless or meek.
Space: thats right
Johann Lancaster: I'll kill you.
I'll kill your family.
I'll kill your family's family.
Mac D.: hey could you shut off the rain sound effect it's kind of fucking with t
he audio of the music for me
Space: hes just a lawyer
Johann Lancaster: I'm a debt relief lawyer.
Lancasters always pay their debts.
Mac D.: i can just picture
the freemans all standing back to back
fighting second heaven monsters
and forrest is just standing there, annoyed as always

Mr. Mu: They're called Nihilists~

Steph: shut up mr. mu
Narrator : Fight Mr. Mu Y/N
Forrest: wow sis you're pretty good with an AK
Steph: y
Space: what happens if one of the party members attacks mr mu
Forrest: i'll pass
good luck though
Forrest walks over to a chair and watches
Mac D.: he gets this horrifying, scary aura about him
and then just politely asks them not to hurt him
Mr. Mu: in reality he would just shrug it off
Mr. Mu shakes his head
Mr. Mu: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Brawn
{(
6
+
11
+
4
)}+3
= 9
Mr. Mu slips and dies
Mac D.: "EMBRACE ETERNITY"
tiny baby slaps ensue"
Space: what if they attacked iblis
Mac D.: oh that would probably be immediate death
Forrest: steph
steph
Steph: what
Forrest: there's....something i want to tell you.....
Steph: what is it
Forrest: you got this really huge zit on your face
Steph: forrest
i own a firearm
Forrest: i'm serious it's on your forehead
Steph: forrest your entire face is a zit
Forrest: look in a god damn mirror if you don't believe me
Steph: i believe you
but you're a zit
i just wanted to make that clear
Forrest: i'm trying to help out here
Steph: zit-man
Forrest: i was letting you know so you could take care of it holy shit
Steph: you're just a zit
it's all you are
it's all you ever wil lbe
*will be
Forrest: why are you such a bitch
oh wait that's right your parents are dead
Steph: don't be MEAN
Forrest: you're right
our mothers taught us better
oh wait
Steph: ..........
Steph cries

Forrest: ........
.....ok i may have gone too far in a few places
Iblis: someone said they were going to fight me
Forrest: iblis fuck off
Steph bawls
Forrest: ok look i'm sorry i didn't mean what i said i was just trying to get ba
ck at you
Steph: .....
Forrest: ok we cool
Steph: ...we cool
Forrest: aiight
Iblis: are you going to fight me
Steph: i...
it won't fill the sadness in me...
Iblis: what
Forrest: ......what about tacos
Steph: i need to... to move on, and accept life for as it is
Forrest: yeah
Steph: how about fajitas
Forrest: fuck no
eldritch s. (GM): right duff you can remember shit
where did we leave off
Mac D.: in terms of plot?
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Mac D.: okay so they returned to Normal Spacetime
steph and jaime went on a date to irish food place where they were horrible peop
le, then they walked to Steph's house and began studying together there
forrest fucked off home, had some quality time with his lovely family, blew the
bottle water conspiracy wide open, then went to the library to get some books, o
verheard two doctors talk about something or other, then Ms. Lao told him about
some mysterious explosion
Jaime: that wasn't a date!
...is what i would tell steph
Steph: ;)
Mac D.: gabby fucking broke down and cried alone and an actual friend had to sho
w up and be a decent person to her
Jaime: he is NOT YOUR FRIEND, GABBY TRAN
Mac D.: she told Lily all about the Heaven bullshit
also why is Ms. Lao a walking corpse
eldritch s. (GM): right so can i just cut to like tomorrow then
no one knows
Mac D.: i don't see why not
Fawkes M.: I'm chill with a cut
Steph: i'm a cut
Mac D.: it'll skip over steph and jaime's makeout session though.....
eldritch s. (GM): too bad
Fawkes M.: I heard that in the F-Zero announcer voice, Seer
eldritch s. (GM): i am the f-zero announcer
Fawkes M.: Say "YOU GOT BOOST POWER"
Mobile L: Gabby got stone-cold abandoned
eldritch s. (GM): you got boost power
Mac D.: ANIME OPEN
Mobile L: Except for by nice coat man
Fawkes M.: S-sugoi...
Forrest sits in the middle of a Scalie-type Otherkin convention, looking like a
man who longs for death
Fawkes M.: Now say "YEAH, THE FINAL LAP"
eldritch s. (GM): yeah, the final lap

Fawkes M.: i-it's better than in the game...

Steph is at the scalie-type otherkin convention
Gabby is punching the crap outta scalie-type otherkin at the convention
Mac D.: i want this immortalized in art
Jaime is getting his right hand sawn off at this otherkin convention
Gabby: IT SHALL BE DONE, M'LORD
eldritch s. (GM): yeah just because
there's a stand
and they cut your hand off
for a fee
Jaime: hey, i thought it was negative money
eldritch s. (GM): "no, you think we're made of cash? we're going to make a golde
n hand with this money and then shove it up your ass"
Jaime: thanks, bronn
Narrator : NOW
AT SCHOOL.
Forrest: god dammit did nathan fart again
Narrator : Class has gathered for education.
Forrest: he's trying to play it off too the fucking douche
Narrator : Their homeroom teacher, Ms. Rachel Lachance, sits at her desk, a deep
scowl on her face.
Gabby: lilly is smiling but i know she hates me now
Steph is ready for education
Forrest looks at Ms. Lachance with his standard expression
Lilly is smiling and pleased as she ever is
Gabby managed to calm down a bit yesterday, but is still kind of out-of-sorts
Jasper is weird
Jaime looking forward at the teacher for once
Vlad makes no attmpt to hide the fact that he's looking at Steph
Forrest evidently did not get much sleep
Ms. Lachance: Kids.
Ms. Lachance chugs her coffee
Steph: .....
Steph tries not to look at him
Jaime makes no attempt to hide the fact that he's not looking at Steph
Ms. Lachance: I take it that you all met the new kid.
Forrest: Hi.
Ms. Lachance slams her cup down, silencing the BGM
Gabby nods, out-of-sorts-ly
Jaime nods once
Forrest: ...
Ms. Lachance: I haven't.
What's your name.

Forrest: .......
Forrest Freeman.
Vlad begins staring at Jaime
Jaime: ...
Gabby has that coat the NICE, NON-ABANDONING PERSON gave her yesterday
Jaime not looking back
Ms. Lachance: That's good, Forrest.
Now, first thing.
Ms. Lachance chugs her mug
Ms. Lachance begins refilling it
Forrest: ....
Ms. Lachance: I've been told the new curriculum needs me to talk to you about gr
ammar and literary devices.
Gabby looks at lachance-sensei like "just frick me up"
Mac D.: just frick me up fam
Ms. Lachance: I thought you learned this in kindergarten but evidently not.
Mac D.: just frick my poop up
Steph: ..
Ms. Lachance: So, let's take this nice and easy for you kids.
Forrest: ....
Jaime: ......
Gabby: frick that crap the fricking heck up, motherfricker
Forrest appreciates this teacher
Gabby yo, same
Jaime: have you had it with these snakes on this plane, gabby
Gabby: I HAVE HAD IT, WITH THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING SNAKES ON THIS MONDAY-TO-FRIDAY
PLANE
Ms. Lachance: What's an apostrophe, in regards to the poetic device. If you ratt
le off the grammatical definition, I'll beat you senseless.
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
1
+
12
+
10
)+1
= 24
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
1
+
13
+
12
)}
= 12
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Mind
{(
14
+
17

+
13
)}+-1
= 13
holy
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
6
+
8
+
15
)}+1
= 9
Narrator : Jaime, suddenly being just a fucking wizard, puts his hand up. Tellin
g the bitch that an apostrophe is when one speaks to an abstract concept or inan
imate object.
Forrest: ....
Steph: ...!
Steph looks back at him
Forrest gives a glance at Jaima
Narrator : jaima
Forrest well fuck the caveman has a taste for the arts
Narrator : jaima
Jaime: ...
Narrator : aunt jaima
Mac D.: i will never not pronounce it "hai may" and you can't stop me
Jaime just looking at Ms. Lachance, waiting for her response
Forrest: ...
Forrest looks back forward
Ms. Lachance: That's right.
Good.
...
Gabby:
Ms. Lachance reaches into a drawer
Space: a gun
Ms. Lachance pulls out a jube jube
Ms. Lachance: Catch.
Ms. Lachance fucking lobs it at him
Mac D.: a fucking jujube
Jaime: --!
Fawkes M.: Does he have to roll?
Mac D.: what is this ed edd n eddy
Ms. Lachance: yeah
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
13
+
4
+
7
)}+1

= 8
Ms. Lachance scowls as it his Jaime in the eye
Ms. Lachance sips her coffee
Jaime: Agh--!
Steph: ...!
Ms. Lachance: Right, there goes that reward system.
Gabby:
Ms. Lachance: What's a soliloquy?
Gabby ...man... life is frickin' pretty tiring...
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
11
+
12
+
18
)+1
= 42
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
4
+
11
+
7
)}+1
= 8
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
12
+
10
+
9
)}
= 10
Jaime puts one hand over his eye and picks up the jujube with the other
Ms. Lachance: he picks up his eye
Mobile L: Motherfucking Forrest tearing shit up
Jaime: hey, that roll was only as big as mine
Narrator : Forrest raises his hand
He tells her that a soliloquy is when a fictional character goes on a monologue
to the audience.
Gabby feels of her coat
Ms. Lachance: Ten points to Gryffindor.
Fawkes M.: Which eye got hit?
Forrest: Also, I have a question.
Narrator : right
Fawkes M.: Perfect
Narrator : The coat is good.
It's high quality.
Thick.
Fur..
Like
Not entirely fur

Narrator : but there's like some likely synthetic fur bits

Gabby will cherish this thing until the day she dies... which will probably be s
oon...
Ms. Lachance: What.
Forrest: If I bring in cups of coffee, do I get extra credit.
Ms. Lachance chugs her mug again
Jaime , due to his peripheral vision being messed up by his covered eye, can't h
elp but see the coat out of the corner of his field of vision...
Ms. Lachance: Depends on if it's any good.
I'm not handing our favours for cat piss.
Jaime: ...
Gabby just kinda strokes the fur idly, as if to comfort herself
Ed Stuart: fuck you jaime
Forrest: Hope it's in my budget.
Steph shifts in her sheet
Jaime: we're not even yet, ed
whoa, we have sheets?
Ms. Lachance: no
space is retarded
Steph seate
Ms. Lachance shrugs
Mac D.: she sits in her seath the scaleless
Space: its a late hour and im a fool..
Ms. Lachance: There, those were your words of the day.
Now, another bit of contrived shit. I mean stuff. I have to do with you are disc
ussion days,
I bring up a controversial issue and you talk about it.
Steph: ...
Jaime: ...
Steph hey
Ms. Lachance: So let's see.
Steph that's hell you're walking into
Ms. Lachance pulls out her phone and just looks something up on google
Gabby continues to look out of it
Space: she's high
Jaime drown in your ideals and die, lachance
Gabby: 8c
Space: high... on life
Ms. Lachance: Bam, legalize weed, go.
Space: and the narcotics crammed into that fur coat
Ms. Lachance: Gabby, you go first.
And pass it around popcorn-style.
Gabby hrrrrghhhhh MUST OPINION
Space: ah
they have popcorn in canada
eldritch s. (GM): what
Space: the educational method, 'popcorn'

Gabby: ...Frickin', um... Stoners are weird and gross, and if weed was legal, th
ey could do their dumb crap out in the open, and it'd suck really bad.
Fawkes M.: That sounds like something elementary school-ish
Space: they lack popcorn in california
Gabby sounds grumpy-despondent
Space: it is only in the North
Ms. Lachance: they have popcorn yes
Anyone want to debate that opinion?
Steph says nothing
Ms. Lachance: Going once.
Forrest: ....
Ms. Lachance: Going twice.
Jaime nada
Gabby coat-pet... pet the coat... nice coat...
Forrest: (sure why not)
Forrest raises his hand
Ms. Lachance: Freeman.
Steph looks at Forrest
Steph didn't know he was a stoner...
Forrest puts his hand dwon
Space: forrest is about to lay the smack down
Ms. Lachance: nameerf
Forrest: Being American, I don't know anything about the drug problem here in Ca
nada.
Space: put on some debate music
Jaime also does, if only to get ACCURSED COAT and HOT DATE out of his field of v
ision
Steph: ;)
Fawkes M.: What color is the coat?
Gabby this coat is your only real friend... you were a fool to think you should
have others...
Space: red, it's casters
Ms. Lachance: black
Space: no
it's
a coat of gold
Ms. Lachance: wrong house
Space: steph has a coat of red
Ms. Lachance: you fucking idiot
Space: seer, a lion still has claws
Fawkes M.: Reynes of Castamere
Forrest: But, scientifically speaking, the effects of Marijuana are no more detr
imental to the human body than legal drugs like tobacco, or alcohol, or caffeine
.
Ms. Lachance stops sipping her coffee for a second as he says that
Space: oh no
Gabby isn't really frickin' following
Ms. Lachance: You calling me a pothead?

Fawkes M.: Oh
Ms. Lachance resumes drinking
Forrest: No, Ma'am.
Fawkes M.: Rest in peace
Ms. Lachance: That's what I thought.
Forrest: Anyway, in America, possession of marijuana in many states can get you
thrown in prison, alongside violent felons and abusers of much more dangerous su
bstances.
Again, I don't know what it's like in Canada so I wouldn't know if that's a prob
lem here.
Vlad: It's about as retarded ass your country.
*as
Space: it's as retarded ass
Fawkes M.: Was that intentional?
Forrest: Okay, thanks.
Mobile L: I blame the accent
Vlad: no
but it was the accent
Forrest: Marijuana has also been show to be medically beneficial in easing pain
for sufferers of chronic illnesses such as glaucoma.
Ken silently nods along to this part
Gabby:
Space: ken's a fucking stoner
Gabby ah gahhhhhhd I'M A HORRIBLE PERSOOOOON
Jaime now looking over the jube jube to see if it has bruising or anything
Forrest: Legalizing and regulating it would also possibly aid in damaging the il
legal drug trade, as it isn't profitable to deal in something that is perfectly
attainable legally.
Narrator : It's a pristine jujube.
Gabby slow coat-receding
Ms. Lachance: That's good, new topic.
Jaime eh, maybe for lunch
Forrest: ....
Steph considers how she feels about this complex and multifaceted- oh
Ms. Lachance reads on her phone
Ms. Lachance: Abortion, bam, uh, Anton, whatever.
Anton: ...
Anton is clearly dismayed, knowing he'll put his foot in his mouth
Anton: Abortion... is...
Space: you can do it anton
Anton: Is when the lady, she get rid of fetus, yes?
Jaime looking over at Anton now
Mobile L: Poor anton
Anton is clearly not a native speaker
Anton: .... I guess is?
Forrest: ...Yeah, it is.
Anton: W- Oh, many thank yous.
Jaime looks back at Ms. Lachance

Fawkes M.: HOLD UP

I GOTTA MAKE ANOTHER CHRISTMASGRAM
Anton: I- it is, the Catholic Church, is not very approval of it, but it isMac D.: WRITE FAST BOY
Space: i can use this time to print my final draft
Anton: You look at it from, another spot, it shows another side, like a cube, an
d each of these... different looks, yes?
Forrest: ....
Anton: One side is black, other white, they both same cube, but opposite, uh....
idea.
I not know where I see it from, but know all sides.
Gabby is
Narrator
Winter's
Forrest:
.

hecka inside that coat now

: It's warm.
comin', though.
....Ms. Lachance, is English really the right class to be doing this in

Gabby yeah... probably gonna frickin freeze to death...

Narrator : https://youtu.be/PKZ0VNnAuiU?t=228
i'm just waiting
for the others
Fawkes M.: One Christmasgram down
One to go
Mac D.: U CAN DEW IT
Mobile L: MAKE YOUR CHRISTMAS DREAMS COME TRUE
Fawkes M.: Oh, on a side note I didn't get a C in that math class I was worried
about
Nor a D
So I'm happy
Mac D.: u did it meng
Mobile L: Eyyyyyy, nice!
Congrats, mah man
Fawkes M.: B)
I legit thought I tanked, too
Mac D.: christmasgram status
Mobile L: It hal https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/87/d8/b9/87d8b94b3371
191e8a4dcb3cdae08822.jpg
Fawkes M.: Done, just waiting for the parent to evacuate the premises
Mac D.: aiight
SPESS disappeared to print some shit..
Fawkes M.: Damn essays
How many lives must they claim...?
Mac D.: santa save this damned souol
Fawkes M.: Must I do everything myself...?
(because i kinda sorta want to bring in arty claus)
(to the fg)
Mobile L: ARTY KLUASS
just like it was christmuss tiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIME
Fawkes M.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvafvTnji-Y&t=2m
Space: congrats fox!
just gotta do one more thing and i'll be back
it'll be short so just start up
Mobile L: jeezus palpatine
Mac D.: oho
Fawkes M.: I'm still waiting for the parent to evacuate...
Mobile L: Does this mean he'll get a dance battle in the next Auralnauts Star Wa
rs video?
Fawkes M.: Eh, give him till VI
Mobile L: gad dammit why is it so hard to re-find Franz's faceclaim?

Fawkes M.: Can't you just google search for similar images or something when you
right-click?
Mobile L: Yeah, but it got made transparent in the Roll20 icon, so that kinda gu
ms it up
Lemme see if I've got it on my compy
Fawkes M.: Don't be like me
File your images
HOKAY premises are green
Space: let's get down to business
to defeat
the huns
Fawkes M.: Slay Attila
Mac D.: alright let's MOSEY
Fawkes M.: It's on you, Seer
Mobile L: YEHHHHH
Mac D.: .........seer are
are you alive
Mobile L: AHA I FOUND THE LITTLE FUCKER http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lQ1zMjmw_Bs/UD
kIc7HrIxI/AAAAAAAAAgM/90Vr7FGzoLY/s640/personajesp.jpg
Space: sharp
Mobile L: Imma make Olive draw both Glazkov bros
Fawkes M.: I wonder how Olive is gonna assemble Assassin
I gave him to her in LEGO pieces
Space: glue
Mobile L: no franz what are you doing http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_LxrNM4B-Qk/UVQm
wM977BI/AAAAAAAAAi0/zyFQWoxjmrk/s1600/prueba+ilustracio%CC%81n_comic.jpg
Fawkes M.: She's a Bionicle, she doesn't need glue
Oh shit
Space: franz is tired of [some kid]'s bs
Mobile L: That's a fucking knife, that damn kid must've done some bad shit
Fawkes M.: I'm controlling the Rabbit if you guys wanna wait
Mobile L: Ooh, hell yeah
Space: i'm on me way
Fawkes M.: https://rabb.it/thespacephantom
Just because Space does it all the time
Space: it's bizarre to be without
power
Narrator : eheheh
Mobile L: ELDY MY BOY YOU'RE ALIVE
Space: he lives, he breathes
Narrator : i was watching the first part of minions
Fawkes M.: How was it?
Narrator : i actually am impressed
it's got a lot of charm
Mobile L: Well damn
Fawkes M.: Huh, I thought it was a cash in
Mobile L: I wouldn't have guessed
Narrator : it's better than what i expected
Fawkes M.: Wanna watch Arthur while waiting for Duff?
Narrator : nah
Mac D.: AHA
Fawkes M.: Oh, hey, there he is
Narrator : anyway, abortion
Mac D.: this is what i get for leaving to go snack on hot cheetos
Ms. Lachance: I don't make the rules.
Forrest: ...
Ms. Lachance: Does anyone have a real opinion?
Steph raises her hand
Jaime: .....

Ms. Lachance: Steph.

Gabby was an unwanted baby herself and is conflicted
Mac D.: oh
oh dear poor gabby
Gabby is also too beat down to say anything
Jaime also conflicted about Terry and their mother
Steph: It should be up to the mother, because they're going to be the ones going
through with it.
Steph is not conflicted about parenthood
Forrest wishes he was aborted
Mobile L: Ask her about the renaissance faire in Quebec
Steph the one time dead parents have a perk
Ms. Lachance sips her coffee
Jaime clearly Steph does not know about Batman
Ms. Lachance: What about the father?
Steph: Well, he's not going to be giving birth.
Ms. Lachance: His kid too.
Gabby:
Gabby aaaaaaaaaa frickin' KILL ME
Forrest: He might also not be able to fincancially support a family.
Steph: ...
Space: where is gab's mother anyways
Ms. Lachance shrugs
Ms. Lachance: quebec
Jaime not willing to say anything regarding Johann
Space: good riddance
Mobile L: Probably smoking weed and fucking other nerds
Forrest: It's a complex topic. One I don't think is suited for an English class.
Ms. Lachance shrugs
Ms. Lachance: Still not my decision.
Ms. Lachance reads on her phone again
Steph: ...
Steph giving out opinions is Bad
Gabby recedes yet further into the warm confines of the coat
Ms. Lachance: ... Fugh, uh, the death penalty in the United States, Jasper, go.
Jasper: Let them do it.
It's not my concern.
Jaime: ...
Steph: ...
Ms. Lachance: Thanks, Charles Manson.
Jaime ain't the Murrican here
Steph yeah that's about right for jasper
Ms. Lachance: Anyone else?

Forrest: Is the legal policy of a foreign country really worth discussing in an

EnglMs. Lachance: englMac D.: this is the part where he gets cut off
Ms. Lachance: by who
Mac D.: i dunno i was expecting lachance
Steph: objection
Ms. Lachance: Alright, now you're starting to piss me off.
Forrest: ....
Ms. Lachance: Last time, it's not my decision.
I don't want to do this.
I just want you kids to shut up and read a book.
But I have to do this, it's mandatory.
Forrest: Who decided this, the school board.
Ms. Lachance: You think I just woke up and said, Jesus, why don't I make a bunch
of teenager murmur about abortion, that sounds like fun?
Yes the school board!
Steph: .....
Jaime: .....
Gabby tiny sigh
Ms. Lachance: I mean, Jesus Christ, I hate this!
Forrest: .....
Forrest sheesh lady
Ms. Lachance: I just want to get on with my life, but we have to keep going on w
ith this stupid fucking nonsense!
It's a new ring every fucking day with goddamn pieces of shit!
Ms. Lachance is starting to get really pissed off
Steph: ..................
Forrest: .....
Forrest checks the clock
Ms. Lachance: You think you could just work for a living but no nononono! You ha
ve to do hippity hops through a fucking ring and say uncle!
1-4 marking system, what a load of utter fucking bullshit!
Mobile L: BRB, dishes
Ms. Lachance keeps ranting, it's nearly at the end of class
Jaime: .....
Jaime gonna wait it out, guys?
Forrest: .....Ma'am.
Ms. Lachance: And then I have to deal with kids treating me like the fucking idi
ot for this shit, you think I have a choice!?
WHAT!?
Forrest: ....What brand of coffee do you like.
Ms. Lachance: ...
Fawkes M.: Hang on, I'm trying to exorcise Space
Space: Jar jar
Ms. Lachance: Folgers.
Forrest: Alright.
Jaime: ...
Ms. Lachance: But I have my own brew that I don't think you can beat.
... Tell you waht.
*what
You bring me better stuff than what I'm drinking now.
I'll make sure the whole class passes this course.
Fawkes M.: Hang on, this exorcism shit is taking ages

Forrest: Deal.
Space: ;)
eldritch s. (GM): space stop it you dickhead
Mac D.: are you trying to pull space out of the rabbit
Space: very well
Mac D.: space get back here and stop avoiding your responsibilities
Ms. Lachance chugs her cup
Steph has
Steph no idea how forrest did that
Ms. Lachance checks her watc
Ms. Lachance: ... 'M gonna get some chips.
Forrest: ...
Nathan: ... I've never seen her so mad.
Steph: ...
Forrest: ...Anyone here know anything about making coffee.
Nathan: ... Except the time Mr. Hawthorne gave her that girdle in class...
Steph: I do!
Forrest: Oh, good.
Job's on you.
Suzie: Don't talk about the girdle.
Steph: ...Wait, why do I have to get the coffee?
Vlad: Get her the coffee.
I want to pass.
Steph: ...
Steph opening your mouth, in any situation, is a mistake
Jaime looks over at Forrest
Jasper: ...
Jaime: Why ask for someone who knows how to make coffee? That's different from g
etting the beans.
Jasper: You're not going to get her the coffee, are you?
Steph: I -- guess I have to?
Jasper: Peh.
Steph: What, why do you ask?
Jasper: Why ask anything? I wanted to know the answer.
Or at least what you'd tell me.
Jaime is now wondering if Johann's got some fancy imported coffee beans back at
the Red House
Forrest looks at Jaime
Forrest: She talked about having her own brew.
Whatever the hell that is.
Steph: Okay, I guess?
Jasper: You guess an awful not.
*lot
Jaime: Wait - that involves making your beans, right?
Forrest: We don't beat that, we don't automatically pass.
And I have no idea how to make coffee, so.
Gabby is still quiet and sad
Jaime: Or, growing them.
Mac D.: hahaha fucccck my internet
Forrest: Idunno, it might.
Depends on what she puts in hers.

Steph: That's just a thing I say a lot.

Jaime: ...
Jaime remembering...!
Jasper watches her for a second
Jasper turns back to her shit
Gabby:
Steph: ...
Lilly looks at Gabby out of the corner of her eye
Steph 'fuck's sake,' she thinks
Jaime not to anyone in particular
Jaime: ...How do you make good coffee beans better?
Forrest shrugs
Forrest: Maybe there's a book.
eldritch s. (GM): "you SHIT on them"
Space: there is like an expensive kind of coffee
eldritch s. (GM): made of shit
i know
Space: where jungle cats eat the beans and then crap them out
Fawkes M.: Aren't there actually coffee beans like that, which get eaten and the
n shat out?
Yeah
Gabby looks back at Lilly, uncharacteristically apologetic
Gabby:
eldritch s. (GM): lancaster
eat the beans
Jaime: and shit golden beans, i get it
eldritch s. (GM): you eat. you eat of the beans of the inca people
Jaime: heard that a thousand times
Lilly mouthes "It's okay."
Forrest: Good thing this town has a ton of libraries for whatever reason.
Mac D.: SHIT CONNECTION'S BACK, BAY BEEEEEEEEEEE
Narrator : NEXT CLASS IS COME
Jaime: Or, the internet, right?
Forrest: That works too.
Gabby:
Narrator : It is now Information Processing (Computers)
Gabby sniffles a bit and nods
Steph: ............
Ms. Guildenstern: Class, class, hello!
Forrest: ...
Jaime: .....
Ms. Guildenstern: I've got some news for you!
Forrest the face
Ms. Guildenstern: The computers are working again.!
So follow me, and we'll get started on the first project of the year.
I love this one, it's great!
Forrest: .....
Ms. Guildenstern: C'mon!

Forrest geeeets up and goooooes

Steph gathers up her stuff, following the omp teach
Jaime are the computers in front of them
Ms. Guildenstern: no
Jaime oh
Gabby:
Gabby sullenly trudges after, not looking up
Dr. Hall is reading a book
Gabby FFFFFRRRRRiiiiiick........
Forrest looks around
Dr. Hall: Oh, I didn't know there would be a class.
My apologies, I will be getting out of your hair....
Forrest looks over at Mr. Hawthorned
Jaime sonuva....
Steph: ...
Forrest: .....
Forrest ....he looks old
Forrest .....maybe HE knows something about....
Steph already just wants this day to e n d
Mac D.: AH HCHEM
Space: where they
Gabby GOOD... THANK FRICK HE'S GONE... not like it matters...
Space: i'll draw a dick in every square in this hallway until he returns
Fawkes M.: You missed about four or five
Space: 3x3
Fawkes M.: Sure, sure
Space: not every tile, every square on the game grid
Fawkes M.: Sure, Jan
Space: they just
steadily
get more and more
deformed
and horrible
Fawkes M.: This is the progression of Jason's dick
Until
It just crumbled away
Mobile L: Frrrrrrgh, I'mma have to sleep soon, too
As always, though, I can catch uhp
Space: draw dicks in these last few moments
Fawkes M.: So is Brandon still active in the Fate chat?
Mobile L: Nah, I think he died
Space: no he's been gone for ages
Fawkes M.: Good
Mobile L: They stoned him to death
Fawkes M.: So we can make all the FGO Jason jokes we want
And the Brandon Jason jokes, too
Dr. Hall: i had to recieve affection from my family

Space: i drew dicks while you were gone

Mobile L: awww
JAYSON
Mr. Hawthorne nods and ducks out
Forrest ...gah-shiet.
Forrest: ....
Ms. Guildenstern: Right, did everyone bring their phone to school to day?
Forrest looks back at Ms. Guildenstern
Space: according to my calculations
that's 69 dicks i drew
Forrest: ....I did.
Space: not even joking
23 sets of 3
Jaime: lol
Gabby nod nod... hrrrghhhh...
Ms. Guildenstern: Good, because this next project requires filming~
Jaime nods, just once again
Steph gets her cellular device out
Ms. Guildenstern: I'm going to seperate you into groups...
Uhm...
Forrest: ...
Ms. Guildenstern: Jaime, Forrest, Ken...
Forrest looks at his partners-in crime
Ms. Guildenstern: Hrm...
Steph, Gabby, Jason...
Jaime looks back at the looking pardners
Steph this is okay
Steph this is fine
Ms. Guildenstern: Vlad, Suzie, Jasper.
Steph: Hey, guys!
Fawkes M.: So sorry, Steph and Gabby
Gabby looks very wilted today, Steph
Ms. Guildenstern: Hm...
Gabby: ...Hey...
Steph ...motherfuck
Jaime waiting to hear what this projection will be first
Ms. Guildenstern: Lilly, go with Gabby's group, Nathan, with the man group.
Forrest: The Man Group.
Ms. Guildenstern shrugs
Ms. Guildenstern: Best shorthand I could think up
Forrest: ...Well, at least it's not the Boy Group
Ms. Guildenstern: Alright...
Gabby come to think of it, wasn't she on the verge of crying her eyes out when l
ast you saw her?
Ms. Guildenstern: That's good thinking, Forrest, right?

Steph: ...
Steph motherfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Forrest: ....
Steph this is a bad place to comfort the small one
Jaime: ...What about the Male Group?
Ms. Guildenstern: Now, uh... You'll all be making a little- sure.
Gabby pulls that fricking coat tighter around herself
Ms. Guildenstern: The Male Group.
Forrest: I prefered Man Group.
Ms. Guildenstern: Now, uh, you'll all be working together to make iMovies.
Steph: (...That's, uh... that's a nice... coat?)
Ms. Guildenstern: I'll leave what its content will be up to you, but it needs to
be five minutes.
Gabby: (...Thanks...)
Space: had to do this exact thing earlier this year
Forrest: ....
Ms. Guildenstern: Film horizontally with your phones, not vertically.
Jaime: Right.
Forrest: Alright.
Ms. Guildenstern: Uh, so you can spend this class planning, and if you have some
thing cooked up, that's great.
Remember, have fun.
Forrest: Is the assignment due today.
Ms. Guildenstern: Oh, no.
Jaime oh good
Ms. Guildenstern: I'll give you...
Ms. Guildenstern counts on her fingers
Ms. Guildenstern: Two more classes.
Jaime oh not good
Ms. Guildenstern: And then one more to edit.
Steph: ...So! Do we got any ideas?
Ms. Guildenstern: So three more.
Jaime: ...Got it.
Forrest: ...Alright.
Gabby: ...Uh... Frick. I dunno.
Ms. Guildenstern: I can extend the deadline if we need to, don't be afraid to ta
lk to me.
Forrest: ....That's three more of these classes, right.
Ms. Guildenstern: Yes.
Forrest: Alright.
Lilly: ...
Forrest looks at is group
Forrest: O-kay. Let's make a movie.
Nathan: Zombies!
Steph: 'Cause, uh... I don't.
Jaime: Won't that require makeup, Nathan?
Jason: ... We could make... no, never mind...
Forrest: Besides, everyone and their mother has done Zombies.
Gabby: ...Eh?
Nathan: ... Oh...
Mobile L: Damnation, I think I need to go. Orientation is tomorrow
Forrest: Any other ideas.
Jason: go

Mac D.: rest

Fawkes M.: bai bai
Mobile L: I can ketchup later on. G'night, dawgs
Anton: ... A mystery murder?
Space: fare whale
Forrest: Alright, we could make that work.
Steph: Um... I mean, there's no bad ideas when we don't have any ideas to begin
with.
Jaime glances over at the other group for a brief moment
Jaime: We have any other ideas?
Forrest looks at Jaime and Ken
Forrest: What about you two.
Ken: I like the idea of a murder mystery.
Jaime: What about a... martial arts film?
Forrest: .....
Jason: We... mrm...
Forrest: ....Do you know martial arts.
Jaime: Do you think the guys in the movies do?
Lilly: ... A parody of a movie?
Forrest: Yes.
Steph: Sure!
What movie?
Anton: They have men with stunts!
Jaime: I don't know, as long as we pretend to do acrobatics or something, it cou
ld work.
Jason: How about the Shining?
Steph: This works!
Forrest: It would have to look sufficiently convincing, and I doubt we have the
capacity to do that with a phone.
Jason: Who's, hm, who's going to be who...?
Jaime: ...Fine.
Nathan: ... A zombie murder myste- no, WEREWOLF murder mystery!
Forrest looks at Nathan
Forrest: ...
Jaime: ...
...That's not a bad idea.
Steph: Um...
Forrest: ...We just talked about how we don't have the makeup for that kind of t
hing.
Steph: I dunno, which of us is the most axe-murder-y?
Anton: He is team Jacob, yes?
Forrest: Unless one of you has a werewolf costume.
Anton chuckles
Jaime: Well, um...
Forrest looks at Jaime
Jaime: We can just make the werewolf offscreen.
And dead, right?
Ken: It doesn't have to be professional, does it?
Lilly: ...
I don't know...
Jaime: No, of course not. We've got three or so days.
Forrest: ...Okay, so what we have is a werewolf murder mystery where the werewol
f is never actually seen and is killed offscreen.
Jaime: By... a vampire.
Anton: If we just say is werewolf, yes, and kill when human, it work!

Imagine like this...

Anton begins drawing a diagram
Steph: Um...
Forrest: ....
Steph looks around uncertainly
Jaime: ...
You don't want something that's been done before, right?
Forrest: Yes, but "different" doesn't always mean "better"
Anton beams
Jaime: Fine, what's another way to have a dead werewolf? Anton?
Forrest: I mean, if we're not going to show a werewolf at all, then why don't we
just make it a normal murder mystery.
Anton: Uh...
Jason: rolling 1d20
(
3
)
= 3
Jaime looks over at the diagram
Narrator : Gabby.
She's going to be your ax-murderer.
Fawkes M.: Frick yeah
Narrator : that's the diagram
Forrest looks at it
Fawkes M.: Wait, what is
Narrator : zoom out
Steph: ...Okay, great!
Forrest: ....Okay, I get it. But that doesn't change the fact that having the we
rewolf never actually appear makes the whole werewolf angel pointless.
Jaime: I think we can use this.
Jaime turns to Forrest
Forrest: *angle
Jaime: Well - what I'm trying to go for is that the victim isn't innocent.
Forrest looks at Jaime
Ken: It provides an excuse for there not being a murder weapong.
Forrest: ...Uh.
Lilly: ...
Jaime: ...I don't know, that's new, right?
Lilly: Has anyone here seen the Shining...?
Jaime juuust a tad defensively
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
4
+
3
+
9
)}
= 4
Lilly: no you have not
Steph: Um...
Lilly: ... Que Sera, Sera, right?

We'll make it up as we go along!

Forrest: But how does that necessitate the whole werewolf thing.
Jaime: Well, it's just one idea.
Forrest: I mean, if we want to lack a murder weapon, we could just say the guy w
as killed with bare hands.
Jaime: Got any others?
Forrest: That's scary, right. A dude strong enough to murder with bare hands.
Nathan: ... A movie about DRUGS!
Steph: Yeah, there we go!
Forrest: ....
Forrest looks at Nathan
Nathan is innocent
Forrest: ....
Jaime: ...Where the man who was killed was a drug lord, right?
Jason: The guy was a writer, wasn't he...
Gabby's a writer...
Forrest: ........I can work with this.
Jason: And her family's coming...
Jaime nods
Jaime: There we go.
Forrest: Okay, how about this.
Narrator : this is your time steph
just rewrite the shining
you have the iconic scene in mind
Steph: ...
Narrator : *scene(s)
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
14
+
16
+
10
)}
= 14
Narrator : no space
Forrest: The murderer is some junkie addicted to a drug that makes you super str
ong, and he kills his dealer with his bare hands while high on the drug.
Narrator : i'm not rewriting it for oyu
you do
Space: i was rolling to see how good it is
Jaime nods as he listens to Forrest
Ken nods along
Forrest: That way, we can have a monster-like killer, and actually show him on v
ideo.
Steph: ...They're... coming to visit for Christmas? But Gabby, she hates Christm
as, because she's a grouch.
Jaime: Who's gonna be our killer?
Forrest: Who among us looks the most likely to kill a man.
Ken: ...
Forrest: ...
Jaime: ...
Forrest looks at Jaime
Nathan: Me!

Jaime: ...I could do iForrest looks at Nathan

Nathan looks buff
Jaime turns over to Nathan
Steph: Um... so she, uh... she doesn't like that, so she... goes crazy?
Forrest: ....Yeah, I guess you could pull it off.
Jaime: Which of us looks the most like a drug dealer?
Ken: ... Who are the hero...
Forrest: Yes, I'll do it.
Lilly: Yeah, I think so.
Jaime nods
Forrest: That way I can lie on the ground and not exert effort.
Jaime this is good, he thinks
Forrest: Okay so who are the other characters in this movie
Lilly: She starts smashing up the Christmas decorations, how about? And tries ki
lling us because she thinks we're Santa's elves....
Jaime: Just the heroes. Right, Ken?
Ken nods
Steph: Yeah! And, uh...
Anton: I be could a witness or victim.
Steph is going off of her half-remembered knowledge of this film from popcultura
l osmosis
Forrest: The killer should off at least one other guy in the movie
Jaime: ...Hmm.
Steph: ...They, uh... wouldn't let us go at a door with an axe, would they?
Jaime looks over at Anton
Forrest looks at Anton
Forrest: You feel like dying.
Anton: Ehe, sure enough.
Steph: Maybe she tries, but... it doesn't work? 'Cause she's so short. Um... no
offense, Gabby.
Forrest: Good. Alright, how about you two.
Forrest looks at Jaime and Ken
Jason: She just opens the door.
Steph: Yeah!
Jason: It wasn't even locked.
Jaime: I guess that makes us the two who make it to the end?
Ken: I suppose so.
Steph: So, when she gets in there, uh...
Forrest: So what are your roles.
Jaime: One of us should be another dealer, right?
Since it means we might know about the drug.
Lilly: ... Someone teaches her the meaning of Christmas?
Forrest: You could also work for the Narcotics division of a precinct.
Ken: I like the sound of being a police officer.
Steph: We hand her Christmas presents?
Forrest: ...Alright.
Ken for Duff's reference, is just the mellowest guy there is
Jaime: Which means that we have to work together despite being enemies.

Forrest: Okay, so we have a plot.

Nathan's crazed junkie hopped up on-.....
Jason: Sure.
Forrest: ...What are we calling the drug.
Jaime: rolling 1d20
(
18
)
= 18
Steph: Okay, good!
Jaime: tbh i was expecting a 3 so i could come up with a shitty name
Narrator : i'll give you a shitty name
Jaime: thanks
Narrator : Scrote.
Jaime: ...Croat...ium?
Croatium.
Lilly: This sounds like a solid movie!
Steph: That was easier than I thought... do we have enough time to start on it?
Forrest: Okay. So Nathan's high as fuck on Croatium and kills me, his dealer.
Lilly checks her fancy watch
Lilly: Sadly not.
Narrator : could the groups write down their movie plots in their notes so i don
't forget
and the deadline too
Fawkes M.: Jaime dun have a book
Forrest: Ken, the cop, is investigating the scene of my murder and discovers a l
ead that points to drugs.
Fawkes M.: It's on you, Duff
Forrest: At some point, Nathan murders, uh.....What's your name?
Anton: Anton!
Forrest: Anton, got it. So Nathan murders Anton.
Ken tracks down Jaime, another dealer, in some abandoned building or whatever, a
nd shakes him down for information on the drug.
Jaime nods
Forrest: Then they end up trapped in the building and hunted by the killer and t
hey have to escape.
After a bit of that, Ken brings down Nathan. Jaime may or may not die by then.
There we go.
Jaime: ...Wait. Shouldn't I know about like a weakness in the drug?
Meaning I could work on the takedown.
Steph: Well, that's fine with me, anyways.
Forrest: You could tell Ken about it before Nathan kills you.
Jaime: Why am I dying, again?
Nathan: 'Cause people die when they're killed.
Forrest: To make the situation more tense.
You're being hunted by the killer in an abandoned building after all.
Jaime: So, then, why don't we end it in a cliffhanger?
They don't know if we got killed, so they won't know if we died.
Forrest: We'll see if that meets the five minute mark.
Narrator : how's steph doing
Jaime: It'll be less footage.
Steph: i said a thing
Forrest: But it's gotta be at least five minutes.
Narrator : i know she did
Jaime: I still think it will. We just have to not skimp on the other parts.
Jason nods
Forrest: We'll see when we start filming.

Jaime: Yeah.
Narrator : The bell goes.
Forrest looks up
Forrest: ...Alright, good. We got something.
Steph is already longing for escape from this hellish blight called 'high school
'
Narrator : Your next class is Drama
we'll do it tomorrow
Mac D.: is....is it over......?
Steph: im-prov
Fawkes M.: TSUGI NI KURASU DA
I remember our first sesh
Mac D.: everyone is violently thrown into the lunchroom
Fawkes M.: Jaime passed out there
In drama
Space: the chicken
that fucking devil bird
stephanie karloman is the skilled at legalism
Mac D.: steph and forrest have a courtroom duel
Space: steph had one with dr. hall
to defend jaime
Fawkes M.: Jaime actually picked Steph as his lawyer because he choked her
Mac D.: jaime why did you try to murder steph
Space: chicken psychosis
Fawkes M.: He was driven nuts by the devil bird
Narrator : you know if all of oyu feel up to it we woulc work a bit on drama
Mac D.: _that vile creature_
Space: hall got really mad
Fawkes M.: I'd wait for Mobile
Space: and into it
Mac D.: i'd wait for mobile to start a new class but i would absolutley love to
keep playing somehow else plz
Space: love this roll20
Narrator : there is no other way
Space: i agree to wait for mob
Mac D.: it's not FAIR....
Narrator : your drama teacher
look
he's gendo
Space: he's a good man
Fawkes M.: Duff confirmed for our collective abusive boyfriend
Space: he hid evidence to help the court case
Fawkes M.: Oh, yes
The tapes
Space: good guy
he has a crush on the IT teacher
Fawkes M.: Jaime still has the coffee beans
Mac D.: man i wish a was around
Space: https://rabb.it/thespacephantom
Mac D.: we're all good for tomorrow right
just CHECKIN TO BE SURE
Fawkes M.: It's likely
Narrator : or adeva or whatever
Fawkes M.: Wednesday, though, imma STUR WHURZ
Space: tomorrow i gotta go to bed early, but besides that yes
Fawkes M.: Personally, I wanna do a true Hollow Night sesh
Narrator : i'll whurz your stur
Fawkes M.: It's been a long time

Mac D.: hey space

wanna hear forrest's pursuit theme
Space: i heard it
Mac D.: oh ok
MY FRIEND
....my friend?
Jaime yep yep
Forrest yyyyehup
Gabby mhm
Gabby sips beer
Mr. Rosencrantz YES
Steph in finnish they say hoi instead of hello
Mac D.: steph: bill dauterive crying
Mobile L: it is at this time that I realize I never recapped self
Mac D.: ALOW ME
Steph: do the reads
i lied, allow the duff actualy
Mac D.: the class was dragged into the library and their computer project was to
create a five minute short film with their phones in three days
Team MAN MAYONNAISE, consisting of the Four Sexiest Men in Belmont
intricately crafted a murder-mystery story about the evils of a strength-boostin
g super drug
Team CINCINNATTI WRONGS, consisting of Steph, Gabby, and two people who don't ma
tter
created a Christmas Horror Story where gabby was the axe-murderer who learns the
true meaning of chritsmans
Mobile L: Oh jeezus
That's sugoii
As per usual lately, I will need to leave by 12:00
Steph: i'm getting up a like 5 am tomorrow but i can just sleep on the plane
Mobile L: I hope you're good at that
Mac D.: plane naps are siimple
you just don't think about how you could die in a plane crash without ever reali
zin
g
Steph: planes are safer than cars
Mobile L: I was about to say
Mac D.: this is true
Mobile L: ffffffruck, I think I'll just FG in the interim
Wat is goin awn in that bitch?
Mac D.: there's a Zoro lost in the woods at the moment
an Arty Claus about to plunge the world into Holiday cheer
various other things i didn't pay attention to
and ram whining as usual
Mobile L: Ah, normalcy
A'ight, lemme finalize my ideas/maybe take the disc off the watchlist to evade R
am's inevitable "GRAAAARGH"
I like that kid, but maaaaaan
Steph: 4 mintues until my political simulator is ready
trip is a good person
Mac D.: he really is
he tries so hard
Steph: he's shirou, he knows that his ideal's not wrong
Mobile L: An honorable young man.

Then who is EMIYA?

Steph: duff
Mobile L: No, Duff is Iskandar
Steph: oh then its me
Mac D.: no actually i'm gaius julius casear
Steph: i can believe it
Mac D.: he has incitement EX
Mobile L: Once Taft becomes a Servanto, that will also be you
pls Rider!JFK and Assassin!Oswald someday..........
Mac D.: Incitement EX.gif
https://media.giphy.com/media/oidPWOqPgEnw4/giphy.gif
Mobile L: Majestic
Steph: noble phantasm = magic bullet
Mac D.: back
and to the left
Space: know who else
Mac D.: back
and to the left
Space: is a rider-class servant
Mac D.: back
and to the left
Space: related to jfk
marilyn monroe :^)
https://youtu.be/HkiMz-e2ZcE
ok im gonna go run for political office now
Mac D.: airhorn.mp3
marilyn monroe is JFK's noble phantasm :^)
Space: :^) :^) :^)
Mobile L: ohhhhhh snap
Mac D.: and then there were two....
Mobile L: Dos
Mac D.: quick let's make a mess while they're gone
behold
Megadong
Mobile L: The dongest
And longest
Mac D.: witness and despair
the might
the MAJESTY
Mobile L: The eighth wonder of the world
Mac D.: the children will not survive
Fawkes M.: Okay, I'm back, and may or may not have a more damaged relationship w
ith parents now
AH WELL
Mobile L: Shit
Fawkes M.: Eh, doesn't matter
Mac D.: seer remains stuck in the hole and space is running for president
Mobile L: Should we Rabbit or some shit in the meantime?
Mac D.: rabbit never works for me un-fortunately
Mobile L: Taima?
Mac D.: these NERDS will never touch taima again...
Mobile L: Damn... We could always camp out here and draw other phalluses
Mac D.: i have confirmation that seer crawled his way out of the whole
hole
the whole hole
Mobile L: The entire ladyhole
It is his birthday, after all
Fawkes M.: Yeah
Lots of presents and festivities
Mobile L: And emerging from dark places and screaming

Mac D.: there is no presents in the hole

seer you smell of swamp
Mobile L: But where is Espiritu del Espacio
Fawkes M.: Probably packing?
Mac D.: oh no he's running for President i told you
someone scream at him on steam the boy ain't paying attention to skype
Mobile L: he comes
Space: http://i.snag.gy/uTe4e.jpg
i'm ready to lead
Mobile L: Are you a tiny, blonde Dubya
Space: yea
Mobile L: Gahd dehmn
Space: getting that hat at that jaunty angle was the toughest part
Mobile L: Jaunt does not come easy
Space: added to the donger pile
Mac D.: ah good Mister President has arrived
Space: everyone's vanished at the promised hour
Fawkes M.: I'm here
I think Seer is just eating about ten more pounds of pound cake
Mobile L: And washing it down with hooch and maple syrup
eldritch s. (GM): i nearly dropped my computer, spilled a glass of water twice
Space: jesus
Mobile L: Oy vey
Mac D.: deep breaths brother
eldritch s. (GM): and then people got passive aggressive at me because i did so
it's fine
whatever
i have my cake
Fawkes M.: So I've got Force Awakens tomorrow, but do you guys still want to Rol
l then?
Mac D.: i have no engagements that day
Mobile L: If we can HN, pls let us HN
Fawkes M.: I mean, I'd rather watch the movie, but I'm just wondering
Space: could you not
Fawkes M.: Alright
Sorry
Mr. Rosencrantz: i see no point in doing this if this is how it's going to be
Fawkes M.: Look, I'm sorr
y
I won't do it again
Mobile L: I understand about having engagements and things. I have that shit all
the time. People are generally understanding about it, right?
Fawkes M.: I want to Roll tonight, really
eldritch s. (GM): alright
Fawkes M.: Sorry, again
eldritch s. (GM): it's fine
Mobile L: 'S fine. Just please, seriously, have a filter. It
*It's your choice what you say and don't say, and you can phrase your concerns i
n a civil manner.
Mr. Rosencrantz: i'm just going to subject you to ocanada in jazz form for ten y
ears
Mr. Rosencrantz begins teaching the class, opening his arm
Mr. Rosencrantz: s
Mobile L: Muzak
Mr. Rosencrantz: not his singular arm
Space: he just takes it and opens it up
Gabby: mister rosencrantz are you okay after the accident
Steph is quietly ready for acting

Jaime: man, he panicked too much

all he lost was his left arm
Mr. Rosencrantz: Now, in light of, uh...
Mr. Rosencrantz clears his throat
Forrest has never drama'd before
Gabby is still down in the mouth and doubts even pretending to be crazy Texan sa
lespeople will cheer her up
Mr. Rosencrantz: The, ehm, disappearence, of one of our dear students...
Steph: ...
Steph is quietly not ready for this at all
Forrest: ,,,,
Mr. Rosencrantz: It seems in poor taste to continue with practices for Utopia, a
Play in Two Acts.
Jaime: ...
Mr. Rosencrantz: So, eh.
Gabby:
Mr. Rosencrantz: We'll just do Improv.
Steph: ...
Mr. Rosencrantz: Alright, who would like to step up to the plate?
Steph you can save her
Gabby noooo... noooooooo...
Steph you can still save her
Mr. Rosencrantz: C'mon, going once, going twice!
Forrest: ......
Steph you have to remember that, is what she tells herself
Mr. Rosencrantz: ...
Going three times!
Mr. Rosencrantz sighs
Forrest would rather NOT do anything in front of an audience
Forrest: .....
Jaime neither, not again
Mr. Rosencrantz: Sold to the the man with the nice hair!
Mr. Rosencrantz points at Jaime
Jaime ...oh
Jaime: Alright...
Jaime gets up
Mr. Rosencrantz: Now, you are the Party Host!
It is your job to host the party and figure out who your three guests are.
Gabby is now sad AND worried for Jaime's safety again... caring really hurts...
Mr. Rosencrantz: Please leave the room while we pick the guests.
Mac D.: oh my god is every drama class an episode of whose line is it anyway
Jaime nods
Jaime: Got it.
Space: ~improv~

Mac D.: I LOVE

Mr. Rosencrantz: this is how my drama teacher ran it
she was great
Space: we just do rehearsals
Fawkes M.: Should
Should I leave to enforce method acting?
Mr. Rosencrantz: Alright, do we have any volunteers for the Guests?
yeah
Fawkes M.: Like, if I knw who it is
Mr. Rosencrantz: get the FUCK YOUR
Fawkes M.: Got it
Space: put your hands over your eyes
Fawkes M.: Skype me
When you need me
Mr. Rosencrantz: i will
Space: no i will
i'm powerful
Mr. Rosencrantz: fuck you space
alright
Space: i'm power and might
Mobile L: Immersion
Mr. Rosencrantz raises his hands
Forrest: ....
Mr. Rosencrantz: C'MON!
Volunteers!
Come at me!
Steph reluctantly raises a hand
Forrest: .......................................
Mr. Rosencrantz: Steph, THAT'S THE STUFF!
Gabby: :,c
Forrest ain't doin' it......aaaaaaain't DOIN IT
Space: he's an excited man
Steph: (... yeah... the stuff)
(your friend is dead and you were reminded of it)
Mr. Rosencrantz: C'mon!
Forrest AIIIIIIIIIIIIN'T DOIN IT
Steph mrs fuggin doom and gloom over here
Narrator : roll spirit to withstand mr rosencrantz
Forrest: rolling 3d20 -1
(
11
+
15
+
1
)-1
= 26
Narrator : Forrest.
Forrest: oh wait
Narrator : The man.
Space: tens
Narrator : He's bending your will.
Forrest: sorry my minus one was in finesse not spirit
Narrator : oh
Forrest: have him pick me anyway

Narrator : But he didn't bend it enough.

But you feel the pull.
Forrest: ....
Narrator : hey gabby
Space: what if rosencrantz was the guy with the magic abilities all along
Narrator : roll the dice
Space: and hall was just some asshole
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 0 for Spirit
{(
10
+
12
+
16
)}+0
= 12
Narrator : Gabby, the coat protects you.
Space: winter's comin
Gabby bless u sacred coat........
Narrator : rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Spirit
{(
13
+
15
+
3
)}+1
= 14
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Spirit
{(
6
+
13
+
2
)}
= 6
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Spirit
{(
16
+
19
+
9
)}+1
= 17
Nathan's hand fucking BOLTS up.
Nathan: Me!
Mr. Rosencrantz: Good!
Space: forrest eyes warily
Forrest stands steadfast against this sinister man's mind control
Mr. Rosencrantz: And our final Guest...
1 is forrest
2 is gabby
3 is lilly
actually
no
Mr. Rosencrantz: either forrest or gabby

Mac D.: 3 is forrest again

Mr. Rosencrantz: and 4 is gabby again
rolling 1d4
(
1
)
= 1
Freeeeeeeeeeman!
Space: it is declared
Forrest: ......
Forrest oh for fucks sake
Mr. Rosencrantz: You are our third guest!
All the none guests, to the side of the room!
Forrest exhales in irritation
Steph: steal my chair will you
Mr. Rosencrantz: Now, we must decide WHO our guests are...
Forrest: ....
Gabby bless u coat...
Suzie: Sorry.
Steph: ...
Mr. Rosencrantz: Any ideas?
Steph is in not much of a mood to come up with stuff
Steph thinks
Mr. Rosencrantz: May we get suggestions from our audience?
Forrest is wearing his "i really wish i weren't here right now" button
Mr. Rosencrantz: Gabby, any ideas?
Gabby: ...Uhhhh... Frickin'... Maybe Steph could be, a... frickin'... physicist
or something...?
Mr. Rosencrantz: How's that sound, Steph?
Gabby yehhh, gonna self-indulge this the frick up, I FEEL HORRID AND NEED IT
Steph: Sure.
Mr. Rosencrantz: A crazy physcist.
Steph: How crazy?
Mr. Rosencrantz: Alright, now...
Gabby BE THE PHYSICIST I WISH I WAS
Mr. Rosencrantz: Super crazy!
The kind of crazy who would buy a timeshare in Tijuana.
Gabby FRICKING... make me happy again... for a while... happiness is temporary..
.
Forrest: ....
Mr. Rosencrantz: Now, Forrest...
Mmmm...
eldritch s. (GM): give me ideas
Space: i know
Forrest quietly prays for death
Space: a party clown, who's sad because all his balloons popped
Mobile L: YESSS
Kehehehe
Mr. Rosencrantz: A clown... who's sad because all of his balloons were popped.
And Nathan, you'll be...

Forrest: ...........
Space: ...
hup
Forrest this is somehow a dig at my appearance i know it
Steph: ...
Steph quiet snrk
Steph god bless you rosencrantz...
Mr. Rosencrantz: i need ideas
Gabby just pities the jerk Texan for once
Space: nathan is a french spy
here to steal government secrets
Mr. Rosencrantz: A French spy, here to steal secrets.
Alright, now, you'll all leave and bring Jaime in.
And don't tell him who you are.
But you'll slowly reenter the room.
Forrest EXHALATION
Gabby ...does he miss Texas? He probably misses Texas. Maybe that's why he acts
out...
Mr. Rosencrantz: And act out your characters.
Until he guesses.
Alright?
Are we all on the same page?
Steph tries to psyche herself up
Steph: Yep.
Nathan: Wee wee!
Forrest is just waiting on that meteor
Forrest: Mm.
Quebec: WELL ZAT IS JUST OFFENZIV SHEET
Gabby stares sadly at Forrest, projecting all her self-pity onto him
Gabby: no 1 curr quebec
now frick off and tell my mother i hate her
Mr. Rosencrantz: Alright, bring Jaime back in, and plan out who goes in first.
Forrest feels eyes on him and looks over at Gab
Gabby sad, sad child-stares. Looks mildly contemplative
Forrest: ......?
Steph: ...Uh... Forrest, you go first?
Forrest last night she was a psychopath and now she's gloomy the fuck's up with
this child
Forrest: ,,,
Mr. Rosencrantz lets Jaime in
Forrest looks back over at Steph
Gabby maybe... maybe Dad acted out because he was miserable... maybe that's why
fricked that Quebec lady...
Forrest: ...Oh-...Fine.
Mr. Rosencrantz: Alright, you three, in the hall!

This isn't your house.

Steph files on out
Forrest walks out
Forrest: nathan why are you smelling steph's hair
Jaime heads back in
Nathan: lavender
Gabby maybe that's why grandma and grandpa still like him... because they unders
tand it or something... like, his pain...
Jaime looking back at the three leaving
Mr. Rosencrantz: Alright, set up while you wait for your guests to arrive.
You'll have to guess what roles theyre playing.
Jaime: ...So, I know they're the guests, but don't know what they are, right?
Mr. Rosencrantz: Yes.
Jaime: Got it.
Steph: ...
Steph psyches herself up some more
Forrest is just irritated
Mr. Rosencrantz waits
Nathan is excited
Forrest this is totalitarianism in some form this is injustice
Nathan: ... Who goes...?
Steph: Forrest should go.
Forrest: ...Oh- Right. Do I have to knock.
Jaime also waitan
Nathan: Go, Forrest, go!
Steph: Ring the doorbell!
Forrest: .....
Gabby Sullen, quiet observance
Forrest walks over and knocks
Jaime: Oh - come in.
Forrest: .......
Forrest exhales in resignation.....if he has to do this, he might as well give h
is best performance possible
Space: forrest says 'melon'
jaime: "alright, that's it. forrest. you have to go." -magically hovers him out
the doorForrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
5
+
20
+
1
)+1
= 27
Space: he did his best

Narrator : Forrest trips as he walks in.

Forrest WHAM
Jaime: ...
Forrest flat on his face
Gabby:
Mr. Rosencrantz covers his mouth in horror
Forrest: .....
Steph quiet snrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk
Jaime: Are... you okay?
Gabby frickin
Vlad laughs his ass off
Forrest roll with it
Gabby tears up a bit just watching
Jaime wants to laugh, but after what happened LAST TIME...
Vlad: AHAHAHAAHAHAOHOHOHHOHUAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!!
Forrest depressingly inchworms his way across the floor
Vlad is tearing up with amusement
Jaime: ...I have to guess, right?
Forrest: Boo hoo. Boo hoo hoo.
Mr. Rosencrantz: Give it some time.
Nathan: ...
Jaime: How many guesses do I have?
Forrest: I could get up, but what's the point. Ah boo hoo hoo.
Mr. Rosencrantz: There's no hard limit
Forrest: Curse my giant shoes.
Jaime: Got it.
A giant?
Gabby goddddd... it... it hurts... it's too real...
Forrest: Why must I suffer for the amusement of others.
Jaime: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Mind
{(
17
+
5
+
17
)}+-1
= 16
Forrest: All I ever wanted was to provide children with merriment in the form of
balloons.
Mr. Rosencrantz: Not a giant.
also no you guess yourself
Jaime: A clown?
Mr. Rosencrantz: What kind of clown?
Fawkes M.: That roll was to make something divergent from my own guess
Jaime: A sad clown?
Mr. Rosencrantz: Why's the clown sad
Jaime: ...Because he tripped?

Forrest: But now with them gone, I must resort to injuring myself for hateful la
ughs.
Jaime: Or, no.
Gabby because life sucks and then you DIE...........
Forrest: Life is a cruel joke at my expense.
Nathan: ... When do we go...?
Jaime: Because he always does this, right?
Space: nihilist gabby
Jaime: Tripping.
Steph: I think when he gets it.
Forrest: Oh, if only I had balloons again.
Mr. Rosencrantz rubs his chin hair
Jaime: ...Is he fired?
Mr. Rosencrantz: Nope.
Jaime: Just out of balloons?
Mr. Rosencrantz: Yes!
Forrest: Okay, can I go sit back down now.
Mr. Rosencrantz: He's sad because all of his balloons have been popped.
Sure, Forrest.
Jaime: Wouldn't have thought.
Steph: Okay, I want to go next!
Forrest: ....Actually, you know what, I think I'm just gonna keep lying here.
Mr. Rosencrantz: Go ahead.
Forrest: Mm.
Steph shuts the door
Jaime looks over at Steph
Steph knock knock knock
Steph: It's me!
Steph knock knock knock knock knock knock
Mr. Rosencrantz: she's freddy
Gabby aaaaaa... forrest I'M SORRY I'M SORRY FORREST I'M SORRY DAD
Jaime walks over and opens it
Jaime: Come in?
Forrest: ....Can I get a tissue or something, I think my nose is bleeding.
Steph bursts in before he even says it
Steph: Jaime! J-- where are you?!
Mr. Rosencrantz: she punches him in the dick
Steph: Oh, there you are!
Gabby: ...U-u-uh... yeah...
Gabby SNIFF
Steph: I've just created a new -- the most legendary device of all time, I call
it...
Gabby gets up to get a tissue for THAT POOR FRICKING TEXAN BOY
Steph: Uh, Physics Creation Number Zero Zero Eight - The Thing that Applies Cent
rifugal Force!
Jaime: .....
Steph: It's brilliant! AAAAAHAHAHA!
Steph cackles madly, striking a pose

Jaime: Oh, you're a mad scientist?

Steph: A scientist?! Perish the thought!
Mr. Rosencrantz: ... I'll give it to you.
Gabby starts crying a little on her way over
Steph: Wh-Oh.
I was, um, a mad physicist.
Mobile L: She was become the Kyouma
Mac D.: steph: I AM MAH SAYAINTISS
IS KOOOOOOORU
Gabby grabs a tissue for herself too and blows her nose... hhhhhhh
Mac D.: SONOFABITCH
Gabby SADRUNBACK
Jaime: ...Well, then you mislead me there.
Jaime smirks a bit
Gabby GIVE... TISSUE...
Steph: Mad scientists make science things, mad physicists make...
Forrest looks up, the blood having smeared
Steph: ...Physicist.. things?
Forrest: ...Oh- thanks.
Steph is looking at Gabby funny
Steph: ...
Mr. Rosencrantz: COME IN RICHARD!
Forrest takes the tissue, noticing that Gabby's all sniffles
Forrest: .....
Nathan: OUI OUI, OUT OF MAH WAY!!
Nathan throws the door open
Gabby AAAAAAAAA STUFF THE SNIFFLES nooooooooooo rgrhrghrgrghrh...
Forrest: .....Are youSpace: suzie quietly plays piano in steph's desk
Forrest oh she walked away
Forrest: .....
Forrest cleans up his bloody face
Gabby hurries away before Forrest sees her lose it further, burying her face in
the coat sleeve
Jaime 's attention goes away from Gabby, and back to Nathan
Ken: Gabby.
Jaime: Are... are you a revolutionary?
Ken: It's okay.
Nathan: MOI? NO, UNZINKABLE!
Gabby AAAAAAAA FRICK FRICK FRICK YOU LOST CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE
Nathan: I VOULD NEVAR BETRAY YOU!
Forrest has rolled onto his back and is staring up at the ceiling
Forrest: .........

Nathan: I AM NOT ZE SPAY!

Gabby: ...muhhhh...?
Mac D.: roll to determine if nose is broken
Jaime: ...You're ze spy?
Nathan: sure
Mac D.: rolling 1d20
(
2
)
= 2
Nathan: NO!
Space: busted
Mobile L: Nathan is a national treasure
Mr. Rosencrantz: holy shit
it's llike fucking
Jaime turns back to Rosencrantz
Mr. Rosencrantz: busted to shit
you'll need to see
the nurse
Jaime: Is he the spy?
Forrest: ......
Forrest yeah this hurts
Mr. Rosencrantz: A French one, yeah.
Forrest just
Forrest just don't move
Mr. Rosencrantz: Uh, Forrest...
Jaime nogs
Forrest: Mm.
Jaime: Got it-Mr. Rosencrantz: You want me to get a nurse...
Forrest: ....I'll just go.
Space: the day of all the blood
Jaime has only noticed Forrest's nose now
Jaime: ...
Mr. Rosencrantz: No, no, it's fine.
Gabby: ;A;
Mr. Rosencrantz: You stay right there.
Forrest: My legs are fine I can walk.
Mr. Rosencrantz: I'll get Foxhole.
Forrest just....hold it IN.....
Space: https://31.media.tumblr.com/5e67640440a3dd6de2ba3ccfea5a2ee6/tumblr_inlin
e_nzp0k1uc831qhjcfl_500.gif
Forrest: I can walk please it's fine.
Space: https://38.media.tumblr.com/aae216a8f50045ad23170f27fc5a6f68/tumblr_inlin
e_nzp0k5dSrX1qhjcfl_500.gif
Mr. Rosencrantz: you need to race him
Steph: ......
Forrest sits up and stumbles out of the classroom
Steph: ...Um...
Mr. Rosencrantz: move faster fatty
roll brawn
Forrest: rolling 3d20

(
7
+
5
+
3
)
= 15
Gabby continues fighting and losing the battle against SADZ
Jaime: ...I hope there won't be another trial.
Mr. Rosencrantz: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Brawn
{(
11
+
4
+
13
)}
= 11
Mr. Rosencrantz runs into the the office
Mr. Rosencrantz: you've lost, forrest
Steph: Who would be the defendant? The door?
Forrest: .....
Gabby: ...Frick... Ffffffrickin'...
Steph: Um... or, if it's your house, then you might be legally culpable or somet
hing...
Jaime: Guess we'll have to see...
Forrest looks around for a nearby restroom
Jaime glances back at Gabby
Gabby is having a rather sad 48 hours. First teen hormones, maybe?
Jaime: ...
Nurse Foxhole begins walking out with Rosencrantz, there's a washroom right next
to you, Forrest
Jaime how surrounded by other classmates is she, really
Forrest: .....
Forrest ducks into the restroom
Narrator : Decently close.
Gabby like frickin' hecka
Gabby even sempai
Narrator : ...
Jaime sighs a bit, not wanting to seem more like mobbing than comforting
Narrator : fuck
Ken: Gabby.
I understand why you're upset.
Ken eyes the people around
Forrest: ....
Ken: You're right to be.
But you can't let it haunt you like this.

Forrest silently walks into a cubicule, and pulls out a shit-ton of toilet paper
Narrator : He does so.
Wow.
Forrest bundles it up, and presses it against his face
Narrator : This is nice toilet paper for a public washroom.
It's almost not sandpaper.
Gabby: ...Frickin'... 's stupid, Ken, I... I'm better than this, I don't get all.
..

Forrest: [Muffled "OOOOOOW. FUCK. SHIT. FUCKING SHIT. OOOOOOOW. GOD DAMN IT. OW.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK."]
Ken: You're human, Gabby.
Steph: .......
Steph keeps quiet, making an effort not to look at Gab
Mobile L: God bless poor Forrest
Lilly: ... Yeah.
Narrator : The person on the toilet next to Forrest perks up
Forrest takes the bundle off of his face, his expression still the same tired lo
ok of irritation
Mr. Schmidt: MEIN GOTT!!
Jaime: ...
Jaime looks back at Steph
Forrest walks out, throwing the bundle away, and gets the FUCK out as fast he ca
n back into the hallway
Mr. Schmidt flails around, ass on the toilet in his cubical
Gabby: ...I... I frickin' have to... not, uhh... not have this happen, y-y'know.
..? I need to be... tough, and... and... brave, a-and... mad as heck about the w
rong things...
...S-so I can make them right...
Nurse Foxhole: Hey, Forrest!
Forrest: ....
Forrest looks at Foxhole
Steph: ...How was I?
Nurse Foxhole: Let me see your nose.
Forrest: ...Okay.
Space: https://33.media.tumblr.com/631119dd4be6af9ed828af4f8669502e/tumblr_nty8s
eO8OL1sl2jkoo7_r1_250.gif
Jaime: ...I liked it, actually. Pretty good.
Fawkes M.: Oh my god
Space: fight
Mobile L: Dance battle
Suzie: Gabby, if you need to take a break from all this, you can, you should.
Steph: I, uh... I liked doing the laugh.
Anton: ... Is alright...
Nurse Foxhole: Alright...
Nurse Foxhole examines his face
Nurse Foxhole: rolling {3d20kh1} + 2 for increased mind
{(
16
+
7

+
20
)}+2
= 22
Space: wizard
Gabby: ...Frickin'... That'd be selfish, though... Youyou guys need me, and...
Nurse Foxhole: Yeah, yeah, alright.
Space: vlad: 'what the fuck'
Nurse Foxhole: This is a big mess.
Jaime: Yeah, it seemed fun.
Steph: ...
Nurse Foxhole: Come with me, I got just the thing.
Steph looks back over at the Situation
Forrest: ..It feels like it.
On my face.
Because of the blood.
Nurse Foxhole waves him to follow
Forrest: ...
Forrest follow
Vlad: ... What...?
Gabby: ...And if I bow out now, then... frickin'... one of you could, like... 'm
frickin' in this, whether I like it or not...
Anton: You need you more, whatever is, you should lay on bed and have a load off
of you.
Gabby: ...I just... I just need to...
Steph: .........
Gabby:
Nurse Foxhole: Right, close your eyes and count to ten.
Forrest: .....
Gabby: ...believe that I'm... powerful again... becausebecause that'sthat's what..
.

Forrest exhales out his mouth and closes his eyes

Forrest: One...
Gabby: ...That's always what...
Forrest: Two....
Jaime: ...
Forrest: Three....
Four.....
Nurse Foxhole begins doing something to his face
Forrest: ....Five.......
...Six.....
Seven....
Eight....
Nine....
Nurse Foxhole finishes the job
Forrest: Ten.
Nurse Foxhole wipes his hands
Jaime: ...Do you think everyone here knows by now?
Nurse Foxhole: Alright.
Steph rests her chin on her hand, looking at the blackboard despondently

Nurse Foxhole beams at him

Steph: Knows what?
Forrest opens his eyes
Forrest: ......
Forrest feels his face
Steph which is to say no
Nurse Foxhole has just immaculatly patched up his nose, it should recover well e
nough in no time
Forrest: ...Oh, wow.
Jaime: About what's going on after school.
Jaime trying to use discreet wording
Gabby: ...If... If I think... I can make a difference... then I can... I... I ha
ve... I fricking... always have...
Steph: I dunno what you're talking about.
Suzie: Gabby, you are powerful.
Forrest: Thanks, Mister Foxhole.
Ken: You are.
Remember that.
Jaime sighs, reaches for his phone, and texts something to her
Nurse Foxhole: Eyy, no problem.
Nurse Foxhole washes his hands in the sink, admiring the anime posters on his of
fice walls
Forrest: ....
Nurse Foxhole: they're all really yuri anime
Gabby: ...O-okay... I just... I just gotta... keep that in mind... even with tha
t... that guy and what he said he'd...
Space: foxhole is great
Forrest sees this man has never heard of not mixing business with pleasure
Mobile L: Forrest gets a nosebleed for a different reason
Forrest quietly excuses himself to return to class with his bandaged face.
Anton: ... You powerful, like what is they say.
Gabby:
Mac D.: are mr. hawthorne and mr. hall in the hall
Anton: If guy mess with you, talk, and maybe we help.
Narrator : yeah
Gabby: ...Th-thanks... all of you...
Narrator : they're having a stern chat
Gabby oh gawd frick anton you're not even in on this
Forrest notices mr. hawthorne AHA
Forrest approaches
Steph types something out back quickly
Mr. Hawthorne: I am concerned about the nature of these complaints I've bMr. Hawthorne turns to Forrest
Mr. Hawthorne: Oh, hello, son!
Forrest: Yeah, hi. I have a question.

Gabby ...tch... fricking... should be able to believe without making OTHERS do i

t for you... g-gotta... gotta step it up...
Dr. Hall: If it is nothing to you, Mr. Hawthorne I really must be returning to m
y *worl.
Gabby ...you can still save them all...
Dr. Hall: *work
Dr. Hall just walks away
Gabby ...even if it doesn't... seem like it at all...
Forrest: ...
Jaime "you're an idiot, Lancaster," he thinks to himself
Jaime: ...
Mr. Hawthorne: Sure, what is it, son?
Gabby deep breffs... comforting coat...
Vlad: Anton.
Shut up.
Saying shit like that is a good way to get stabbed.
Forrest: ...Did you live in this town back in the 1960's.
Steph: I hope she's okay.
Mr. Hawthorne seems sad for a moment
Mr. Hawthorne: ... You think I'm a fossil, don't you...
Oh!
No, I lived in Calgary.
Jaime: Yeah.
Gabby still sad, but at least she doesn't look like she's gonna curl up into a l
ittle armadillo ball anymore
Forrest: ...Oh.
Do you know anyone who lived here during the 1960's.
Mr. Hawthorne: The old principal, but he's dead...
Jaime: I was just wondering in case they'd get it.
Mr. Hawthorne: Hrm..
Forrest: ....
Mr. Hawthorne: I think I might, tell you what, son, I'll get back to you on that
.
Jaime: It'd help her a bit more.
Forrest: Alright. Thanks.
Steph: ...This day sucks.
Gabby tries to stuff the residual doubt that she might not ever be able to bring
back Chopin
Gabby:
Mr. Hawthorne: No problem.
Space: just make ken wear a powdered wig
Forrest turns and goes to return to class
Jaime: ...
Jaime looks back at Steph
Lilly lays a hand on Gabby
Lilly: Don't worry.
I'm with you.
Space: the party grows

Vlad coughs and mutters "Lesbian" under his breath

Gabby: ...Thanks...
Gabby sniffles a bit and awkwardly pats her hand
Narrator : Mr. Rosencrantz follows Forrest back, apologizing profusely
Fawkes M.: This seems like a certain brand of FG conversation where everyone tri
es to comfort one person at a time
*the same time
Forrest assures him it's alright
Mobile L: No one can resist the tiny child
Space: what she needs is a hug
Narrator : this class is made of decent human beings
Fawkes M.: No
She needs a huh
Mobile L: From Grandma
Forrest walks into the class with his bandaged-to-shit face and notices everyone
burying Gabby with their bodies
Space: the bathroom nightlight keeps flickering on and off
Nathan has fallen asleep
Space: i can see it from my room it's very distracting
Fawkes M.: Nosferatu...!
Mac D.: don't look space
Gabby ...aaaaaah god, he's probably still also sad and nobody's gonna hug HIM be
cause he's hideous and mean...
Gabby ...fricking...
Forrest: ....Did I miss something.
Jaime: .....
Forrest has the look of a man who has resigned himself to the reality that no on
e will ever hug him
Mr. Rosencrantz checks his watc
Gabby: ...No... Uh... Are you okay?
Gabby says with genuine concern in her voice
Mr. Rosencrantz: ... Wonder if I can catch Alice...
Forrest: Yeah, fine. Nurse bandaged me up.
Mr. Rosencrantz quietly rushes out
Gabby: ...That's, uh... that's good... That looked kinda fricked...

Forrest: It's no big deal. Noses heal fast.

Steph: ...
Steph checks the time as well
Narrator : Class is nearly over.
Very very close.
Gabby: Yeah... Still, though, frickin' always just... hurts like a motherfricker
.
Gabby residual sniffle
Forrest: Yeah, but pain's temporary.
Fawkes M.: BRB for a bit
Gabby: ...That. That's goddang right.

Steph prays for lunch

Forrest: ...Unless you have, like, arthritis or something chronic like that.
Narrator : yeah lucn IS next
Forrest: Then pain never really goes away.
Space: here's a question
Forrest: But that's what medicine's for, so.
Space: has the party had any weekends yet
Gabby: ...Yeah. But, like, we're all young, and science will fix it one day.
Narrator : no because we haven't actuall
cleared a week
Space: this is all one week
holy shit
Forrest: Maybe,
Space: thats fuckin amazing
Narrator : i'm just saying today is thursday
Space: hump day...
Mobile L Hawthorne flashbacks
Narrator : hump day
Mac D.: hump day is Wednesday
Narrator : everyone humps
Mac D.: you fucking stupid son of a bitch
Narrator : the bells goes
it's lunchtiime
you weak
Mac D.: i'll beat the shit out of you i swear i will
Narrator : pathetic
white
white guilt
milquetoast
Forrest TO LAUNCH
Narrator : piece of human trash
Forrest: sup bby how u doin
i got the good stuff for you today premium shit
Narrator : Looks lik the supervising teachers are all chatting
Forrest what's on de menu today b0ss
Gabby STOWS the remainder of the awful sads and tries to put her SERIOUS FACE on
again
Narrator : did he not bring his own lunch
Forrest FINE SURE YOU LAZY PRICK
Steph is smart and brought her own lunch, as is the standard
Forrest finds an empty table and rightly plants himself there
Steph not some idiot like forest...
Jaime has packed lunch + juju fruit
Steph: jaime and the power of juju
Forrest has a sandwich and bodado chibs
Space: what kind
Forrest: peanut butter and bologna
Space: weird potato chip flavor
Narrator : the cast is too large
Forrest: no that's my sandwich you mong

Space: i meant
the chip
Forrest: bbq
Steph: i'm hiding
behind forrest's massive girth
Forrest: get out of the folds in my fat
Jaime: she's playing football with forrest
she thought it was soccer
but he's murrican
Mac D.: i can totally see that
Steph just promptly sits down across from Forrest, opening up her lunchbox
Narrator : Rosencrantz and Guildenstern talk enthusiastically.
Mac D.: steph prepares to dribble, forrest tackles her to the groun
Narrator : Lachance seems salty and bitter, watching the students like a hawk.
The Eye of Sauron.
Forrest glances at Steph arriving for like a second before returning to his sand
wich
Mac D.: why's lachance so bitter she's a fairly attractive woman she could get f
ar in life
Steph: Heyo.
Forrest: Mm.
Forrest num num num
Jaime opts to sit by Gabby now
Steph om nomn om
Narrator : she clearly does not look after her appearence
Mac D.: why IS lachance so angry and bitter
Narrator : it's the magic and the mystery
Mac D.: i c
Steph: What is it you like, Forrest.
Jaime: of potato knishes
Space: this machine creates
Narrator : she's a potato knishe
Space: little black squash balls
Narrator : *knish
Forrest: I'm sorry?
Steph: You know, hobbies and stuff.
Forrest: Oh.
Steph: Fuckin'... like golf or bowling. You like bowling?
Forrest: I play video games and waste time on the internet.
Narrator : hey cuz let's go bowling
Steph: Oh, cool.
Forrest: Never golfed before, bowled once or twice on family trips.
Narrator : lel shitkid beat him at bowling
and he was trying too
Steph the 'oh cool' of a woman who enjoys going hiking and shooting bows
Gabby nods to Jaime, sipping on her thermos full of Grandma's special bn riu
Gabby: ...Hey.
Jaime nods back
Forrest is aggressively apathetic and takes another bite of his sandwich
Jaime: You doing alright?
Narrator : Vlad and Anton yammer at each other in Hungarian

Mobile L: I am gonna be a rebel and give myself until 12:30 this time
Mac D.: you absolute madwoman
Gabby: ...Yeah, um... Better, I think...
Steph: I'm pretty glad that you're starting to fit in so easy.
Jaime: ...Mm. That's good.
Jaime does she still have the coat
Lilly just watches Gabby and Jaime talk, silent
Gabby oh heckie yeah she does
Forrest: I would not consider my current situation as "fitted in."
Suzie: It seems close enough.
Gabby: ...I, um... I kinda told Lilly about, uh... current events yesterday.
Steph: Yeah, like... what would you call it?
Jaime: ...
Jaime that explains her reaction to him and Steph
Lilly: Don't worry, I believe you.
Jaime: That's good.
Forrest: Well, depending on the situation, it's between "quietly disdained" and
"forced to stay alive together"
Lilly: ... I always knew there was something more to life...
Forrest nom
Suzie: ... We don't have to do any of this, when you think about it.
Gabby: ...Yeah... Frickin'... Next time the fricked up crap happens, we can...
Mac D.: is suzie talking with forrest n steph
Suzie: yes
Space: ya
Mac D.: ahh k
Jaime nods again
Jaime: Just...
Jaime glances around at the nearby others
Forrest: Are you referring to what I think you're referring to.
Lilly: You can trust me, don't worry.
Jaime: Keep it between us for now.
Steph: It's too late to just give up.
Jaime: Thanks.
Lilly nods
Forrest: I suppose theoretically whenever "It" happens, we could just hunker dow
n somewhere and wait it out.
Every day, forever.
Gabby: ...We'll, um... We'll make sure you stay safe and all that, too.
Gabby idly feels of THE COAT with her non-soup hand
Suzie: He said it would stop after a while.
Jaime: Yeah, we will.
Forrest: Oh well if that's the case.
Jaime looks over at Gabby
Suzie: ... I don''t want to hide, but it's always an option.
Jaime: ...Where'd you get the coat?
Lilly: I don't need protecting, don't you worry.
Forrest: Have any of you successfully waited it out.
Steph: Haven't tried it.
Forrest: It could be that the shift is affected by our actions in it.

We're pulled into it, and we're not allowed back out until something gets done.
Gabby: ...A guy was sellin' them... And like... He caught me after I had an, um.
.. a cry...
Mr. Mu: lol you could ask me
Forrest: yeah
Gabby: ...So he felt obligated to give me one or whatever.
Forrest: i bet i could, asshole
Mr. Mu: lol
Steph: I don't want to sit around and wait for it.
Gabby: ...'S good to hear, Lilly. Uh... We can get you hooked up with the powers
and stuff, too.
Jaime: ...What was his name?
Forrest: That's fine and dandy, but I would assume other people would prefer to
live.
Forrest nom
Ed Stuart: the north remembers
fuck you jaime
Jaime: i send my regards
Jaime STAB
Ed Stuart: urgh
Steph: Yeah, okay.
Gabby: ...Oh frick, ummm... Ed, I think?
Forrest: See. "Quietly disdained."
Jaime: ...
Forrest crunch crunch crunch
Steph: Do you want my almonds? I don't like them.
Suzie: We shouldn't let personality conflicts jeopardize what we're doing.
Forrest: No thanks, not that much of a fan of them, myself.
Jaime: ...Good of him.
Narrator : "i don't like them because they're too salty, just like you"
Steph: Well, it's a peace treaty.
Do you want them, Suzie?
Suzie: Sure.
Steph gives the bag of almonds that has been kicking around in her lunchbox for
about a week
Suzie munches on the almoonds
Forrest MUNCH
Gabby: ...Why, are you, like... looking to buy yourself one?
Space: they're almonds
i don't know why i felt to give that bit of gm clarification when i am not a gm
Jaime: Oh, no. Winter's not for a while.
Forrest: .......
Gabby then proceeds to help herself to some of Grandma's special bnh rn... shhhhhi
t y'all those're tasty-looking fried things...
Forrest: ....You know Ms. Lao.
Steph: Yeah. She's like that lately.
Forrest: What's that about.
Gabby: ...He seemed to think it was pretty soon. But I guess, like... he stands
to make a buck off of that.
Narrator : she's normally quite peppy
Steph: It's fucked up.
Jaime: Yeah, that's the Stuart family business.
Narrator : Steph remembers the time she got so hyped up that she accidentally br

oke into another class with them and pretended to be annexing it in the name of
the Roman Empire.
Jaime: Winter coats sold all year long.
Steph the best history teacher she's ever had
Steph: ...
Forrest: Has she always been such a space case.
Jaime: ...Heh, just cause they want to stay in business they say "winter is comi
ng".
Gabby: ...Welp. Shouldn't have to, this is a dang good coat.
Narrator : it's made with love
Jaime: I guess it's just not my style.
Gabby: D'you get hot easy? I'm, like, fricking exactly the opposite, but that's
just 'cuz I'm small and bony.
Gabby CHOMPS the dumpling, as if to make a statement about how much more she nee
ds to eaaaaat
Steph: This one time, back when she was teaching us about the Roman empire, she
sort of, like... took us and annexed Mr. Pink's art class. She was just so, uh..
. hyped up? About ancient Rome. We got them to paint us battle standards and eve
rything...
Forrest like me
Jaime: No, I have jackets. Just not really thick ones.
Forrest: ....Wow, jesus.
Gabby: ...Nyeheh. Maybe I can graduate to those after I get my next growth spurt
...
Forrest: Is she a manic depressive.
Gabby: ...I kinda wonder if I'm gonna get fat.
Jaime: Well, you just gotta keep exercising, right?
Narrator : look at jasper
Steph: I have no idea. She's never been like this.
Narrator : all the wy over at the side
alone
Space: someone should sit by her and make a friend
Forrest: Maybe she's been keeping it in check with medication until now.
Narrator : she's jasper
Jaime: alone, intoxicated with victory on the hill of swords
Narrator : she summons ubw
Space: someone should sit by her and make a friend
Gabby: Yeah, I guess. I mean, Grandpa's... you've seen him, but Grandma's... you
've seen her. And, uh... my, uhm...
...Biological parent...
Jasper: i ahm da bown of mah sord
Gabby: ...Is also kinda chubby, so I dunno.
Forrest: Of course, far be it from me to ask about other people's drugs.
....What about Ms. Lachance, what's her deal.
Space: hey duff
Steph: Maybe.
Space: https://40.media.tumblr.com/85a3b6694ef9d4c09ccd443c7e56a101/tumblr_nzisw
mGqDh1rhuitso1_540.png its the anime jojo's bizarre adventure
Jaime: Heh. You should see my cousin Robert.
Steph: Oh, she doesn't have a deal.
Forrest: So she's just angry all the time.
Jaime: He gained like, what, ninety pounds? A year after he won the lottery.
Forrest: Man, how can somebody live that way, annoyed all the time.
Gabby: ...Wooooow, what the frick? Like, shouldn't he be able to afford gyms and
stuff?
Steph: Yeah, I wonder.
Jaime: That's what you'd think.

Ms. Lachance: ... I heard that, you little shits.

Forrest: That was a joke, by the way.
Ms. Lachance sips her coffee
Jaime: But, I dunno. He discovered fine food.
Forrest looks at Ms. Lachance.
Jaime: And he liked it.
Ms. Lachance seems lightly pensive
Steph: Yeah, Forrest, she's kind of right over there.
Forrest: ...Oh.
Jaime: Steaks, caviar, really expensive sushi... y'know.
Steph: I didn't want to say anything.
Forrest: Hey, Ms. Lachance. How come you're so angry all the time.
Steph: I mean, you know now, soooohmygod.
Gabby: Frickin' poutine, probably. A certain family member really seems to like
that stuff, 'specially after he spent all that time in Quebec.
Ms. Lachance: ...
Ms. Lachance sips her coffee
Ms. Lachance: None of your business, shitkid,
Jaime: Oh, yeah! Robert totally loves that, too
.
Forrest: Okay. Thanks.
Forrest looks back at Steph
Gabby: ...Frrrriiiiiick, what if they're... the same guy?
Forrest: So what were we talking about.
Steph: I dunno.
Do you like books?
Jaime: Then that means we're really long lost relatives.
Ms. Lachance resumes staring kids down
Forrest: I read, yes.
Jaime: ...Or not, since Robert's a sort of step-cousin.
Steph: Did you ever read any of the Ashen Glade books?
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
17
+
17
+
19
)+1
= 54
Ms. Lachance: yeah he has
Gabby: Nyeheheheh! I was gonna say, you don't look Vietnamese enough.
Forrest: Those sword and sorcery books, right.
Fawkes M.: They kinda ended up in limbo after the cave
Ms. Lachance: The author delays new editions too much, it feels like they haven'
t moved from that God damn cave.
Jaime: That'd be something to really find out, wouldn't it?
Forrest: I stopped at the part where they got high as shit in a cave and some gr
emlin farted on Darius' face.
Fawkes M.: I wanna Darius now
Gabby: No frickin' kidding. 'S barely even, what, ten whole Vietnamese people in
all of Canada?
Ms. Lachance: just like the four black people in star wars
Fawkes M.: Five if you count deleted scenes

Ms. Lachance: the phantom black guy

Steph: Yeah, that part was kinda dumb.
Jaime: Heh, that really is true.
Mobile L: Secret deleted black guy
Forrest: I checked out a couple books from the library yesterday, actually.
Steph: Yeah?
Forrest: Yeah. I'm looking into the history of its town and its local legends.
Ms. Lachance realizes no one cared what she says and just goes bck to her coffee
Forrest: *this town
Gabby: Everyone always thinks I'm Chinese and, frickin'... at this point, I don'
t think I have enough traction to correct them anymore.
Space: poor lachance
Ms. Lachance: there are a lot of chinese people in british columbia
Steph: Cool. I don't know anything about that.
Forrest: I met Ms. Lao at that library.
Space: man
lachance tried to connect with the kids
and she just got shut down
no wonder she's bitter
Ms. Lachance: wait
let me just
Mobile L: gary_jules_mad_world.wav
Forrest: She told me that back in the sixties there was this massive explosion b
y this school.
Ms. Lachance: there goes that ocial link
Space: that saddens me
she is best teach
Steph: This one?
Mobile L: Slow fade to grayscale, closeup on her indignant pout
Mac D.: forrest will form a social link with Lachance based on mutual disdain fo
r everything
his hateful face is a calming presence
Forrest: Yeah, this one.
A lot of people died, and apparently to this day, nobody's ever figured out what
caused it.
Ms. Lachance: ...
Ms. Lachance eventually stands up and leaves
Forrest: ...?
Forrest watches her fuck off
Ms. Lachance: ... Fuck it...
Mobile L: all around me are familiar faces
Space feels bad for the teach
Steph: That's... kind of fucked up.
Forrest: .....
Forrest looks back at Steph
Forrest: I'm going to try and find out what happened.
Narrator : it was breen
Mobile L: Oh, yo
I've established
Forrest: You know anybody who might've lived here during the sixties.
Fawkes M.: I'm greeting my dad from the airport
Narrator : a nation-state
Mobile L: Gavel Lake!Breen is TH!Breen's father, and TH!Breen is Breen Jr.
Narrator : that's good
Fawkes M.: So

Space: fare whele

it's 12:30 anyhow
mmmmobile
Narrator : it's going to stop here abouts anywayu
Fawkes M.: I'll try to smash ba- alright
Narrator : take you time
hijack the plane
Fawkes M.: Thanks
Mobile L: Yus, I gotta get my beeb beeb sleeps
Narrator : fly into the trade center
Space: get me some of those airport candies
Mobile L: Melt steel beams
Space: or a pretzel from one of those airport pretzel shops
i like those
Narrator : praise be
Space: but they don't have any actual pretzel shops
Fawkes M.: Oh, we're not going to the airport, he just arrived via taxi
Narrator : oh okay
Space: get me a pretzel
Mobile L: Melt steel beams anyway
Narrator : hijack the taxi
Fawkes M.: Got it
Space: i'm hankering for a pretzel now
Narrator : drive it into the center
Fawkes M.: Seeya fuckos
Narrator : bye
Space: l8r g8r
Fawkes M.: (Might be back in a Rabbit tho)
Mobile L: Adios...!
Fawkes M.: (if you're offering)
Space: i was just about to lank it
Mobile L: i won't because lol, sleep. YOU KIDS HAVE FUN
Space: https://rabb.it/thespacephantom
Mac D.: lator
Mobile L: g'naight
Space: night fckr
Narrator : no, duff, space
you stay
you listen to the ed
Space: i like the ed
Mac D.: good ed, good op
Steph sits in a hall, alone
Narrator : also how was that
Steph: i liked it
i've suddenly headcanoned that lao is steph's favorite teacher, solely due to th
at rome anecdote
Narrator : look at lachance
she got sad
and used the computr
Space: i feel really bad 4 her
Narrator : she has a reason for being such a prick
like i have it in the gm notes
i looked at it just now
i wonder how i'll pull off these "social links"
well FUCK you too space
Mac D.: just you and me now
Narrator : you have any thoughts then
Mac D.: i continue to love every member of this cast
Narrator : foxhole is a good nurse

Mac D.: ye
Narrator : he's also not a woman
Space: my thricedamned connection
Narrator : yeah but i myself feel bad for lachance
Mac D.: i refuse to believe that
Narrator : believe what
Mac D.: foxhole being a man
Narrator : e is
Space: he has dude hair
Narrator : he totally is
Mac D.: that is not dude hair that is LESBIAN HAIR
Narrator : he watches yuri
Mac D.: which explains the yuri
Narrator : he has yuri posters in his office
Space: https://rabb.it/thespacephantom
Forrest: star wars episode 3 is the most disappointing thing since star wars epi
sode 2
eldritch s. (GM): where are they
Mac D.: i have called the bozos
they will arrive at their usual bozo pace
Mobile L: hwazzup homos
Mac D.: hang on lemmie find a save point in Yakuza 5
eldritch s. (GM): right students just had their lunch yes
Mac D.: did you know you can use the Mayflash adapter on your PS3 it;s increadib
le
Space: so bold and so foolish
Mobile L: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCiFO7qV54E
Space: jesus
Mobile L: Craw
Space: these crawl they will not crawl
crawl is how i crawl
crawling what is crawl
eldritch s. (GM): right yes fox will not be joining us today, i have duff's assu
rnces that fox is okay with it, as he asked
Mac D.: is troo
Mobile L: Koolio. We can recap 'im
eldritch s. (GM): CROATIUM
Mac D.: what are you picturing the losers doing in this particular OP
Space: theyre all watching starwars
eldritch s. (GM): wudu hide
Mobile L: Contemplative closeups
Mac D. FOOD
Forrest IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS
Narrator : The bell goes, lunch is done, you little SHITS
Your next class, by royal decree, is science.
Steph packs up her stuff, feeling a quiet worry
Gabby awww FRICK YEAH, this soothes the soul
Forrest oh good something worth paying attention in that won't humiliate and pot
entially kill me
Forrest pops into the seat by Vlad
Gabby is still a lil' down, but feeling a lot better
Vlad is sullen, as usual

Forrest is in his natural state of sullen irritation

Steph: fucking germans
Forrest: go back to poland nazzy
Mr. Schmidt walks in
Mr. Schmidt: Hello, kinder...
Mr. Schmidt seems a little off-kilter
Gabby: Hello, Mr. Schmidt...
Gabby ohhhh frick, pls be okay, Best Teach
Forrest: ....
Forrest wow he looks like some dude out of the 1800s version of this school
Mr. Schmidt: Eh, I have not gotten my brother's official statement on that black
mass inside the pig...
Forrest: ....?
Forrest dafuq is he talking about
Mr. Schmidt: However, that will not stop us from continuing with class.
If all of you will open your textbooks to page 67.
Steph can't help but feel some trepidation about the weird gross pig
Steph opens up 'er book
Forrest: ....Uh.
Gabby OOOOOPEN
Forrest raises his hand
Mr. Schmidt: Today, eh, we will be covering genetics, according to Gr- Oh, yes?
Forrest: Yeah-..I'm new here. What was that about a pig?
Mr. Schmidt: Oh, I dissected a pig in the class as a starter, and it contained a
peculiar black mass.
Forrest: Oh.
So, like.....Was it a goop, or like moss, or what.
Mr. Schmidt: It was slightly cancerous, like a tumor, but coated in some thick,
black substance.
Forrest: ...Huh.
Well, okay then. Thanks.
Forrest opens his textbook
Gabby jegus frick, that frickin' pig, aaaaaa
Steph would bet, dollars to donuts, that it is somehow connected to stuff
Forrest writes down the NEW MYSTERY in his notes...
Mr. Schmidt: Right, uh, well...
Forrest hokay.....gene netics....
Mr. Schmidt: Gregor Mendel was an Austrian monk who did work with peapods...
He found that, pollinating certain peapods created certain offspring, to give a
simple example...
Gabby OHHHH YEAH, this guy. yeh, he was p cool
Mr. Schmidt: Say you have a two red flowers, and one blue flower.
If you breed the red flowers together, what colour would the resulting flower be
?

Forrest the irony...a man of god discovering genetics

Steph: rolling 3d20
(
13
+
20
+
14
)
= 47
Mr. Schmidt: he fucked the pea pods
steph
what do you fucking think
Steph: They'd be red!
Steph genius
Gabby congration you done it
Mr. Schmidt: Yes, yes, though this is not always true, it is very likely to be t
rue.
Forrest [half-hearted clapping sound effect]
Space: he makes that sound
with his mouth
Mr. Schmidt: Now, if you breed the red and the blue flowers together, what are t
he possibilities?
Forrest: rolling 1d20 +1
(
16
)+1
= 17
rolling 3d20 +1
(
3
+
5
+
13
)+1
= 22
Mr. Schmidt: you can forego rolling if you yourself know the answer
do you yourself know the answer
Mac D.: n
no...
Space: i always roll in the hopes that i'll get 1
so that i can come up with the stupidest fucking thing
Mac D.: "A PURPLE FLOWER"
Mr. Schmidt: well then you need to make up an answer
Mobile L: Nathan's answer
Mr. Schmidt: a big penis
see, mobile gets it
oh
that's space
Space: ;) ;) ;)
Mr. Schmidt: i get blues mixed up
space you fucked it up in this instance
Gabby isn't piping up bcuz she wants to try being nice to Texas and let him mayb
e do something good

Space: shit
yeah your right
Mr. Schmidt: one of them is a variable
so i can't do it for sure
that's why i asked for all possiblities
Forrest: ........It.....depends on the color genes.....I think.
Mr. Schmidt: did you look it up
Mobile L: BRB reel qwik
Mac D.: actually yes and i got animal crossing results so i just winged it
Space: amazing
Mr. Schmidt begins drawing https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/
1/17/Punnett_square_mendel_flowers.svg/2000px-Punnett_square_mendel_flowers.svg.
png this
Space: i already drew it because i'm cool
Mr. Schmidt goes on to explain how it works because i forget some of the termino
logy
Forrest LEARNING
Forrest WOW
Mr. Schmidt: And these are the very basics of genetics...
Space: genetics is cool
Forrest now you too have the potential to spit in the eye of God
Mr. Schmidt: Like the Bohr Diagram, or most early atomic models, they don't hold
true entirely, but they are a good start.
Space: forrest now knows the basics of eugenics
Mac D.: forrest http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/wp-content/blogs.dir/470/file
s/2012/04/i-dd55f012113fb7c28a2312d25d277a8d-chick2.jpg
Mr. Schmidt: And, as for a fun fact, do you know the name of the man who created
the Periodic Table?
Steph: rolling 3d20
(
18
+
16
+
4
)
= 38
It was Mendeleev!
Mr. Schmidt: So Mendeleev created the periodic table, and Mendel pioneered genet
ics, it is funny, is it not?
Forrest: ...
Steph: ...
Mobile L: Nyehehehe! Yeah.
Gabby: oopl lol
Mr. Schmidt: There we are...
And now, answer questions 1-4 in the text.
You may answer them as I put on a documentary about genetics on the projector...
Mr. Schmidt pulls down that tarp thing
Mr. Schmidt turns on the projector thing
Forrest right.....questions....LET'S go......
Gabby FRICK YES. LES DO IT MOTHERFRICKERS

Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1

(
20
+
8
+
12
)+1
= 41
Steph ready for action...
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
7
+
9
+
14
)}+1
= 10
Steph: rolling 3d20
(
13
+
9
+
8
)
= 30
Narrator : Forrest is a normal human being.
Space: mr. schmidt accidentally puts on rick and morty
Forrest YEEEEEEEEEEEAH
Narrator : Gabby, gabby gets tripped up on the exact wording of a question.
Gabby RRRRRRGHHH FRICK...!
Narrator : Steph "lol, what's a gamete"
Steph: ......................
Narrator : A mustachioed man comes onto the projector.
Forrest: ...
Gabby RAPT ATTENTION
Narrator : if only
the volume on these
wasn't so stubborn
Space: oh m god
Laaheighy: Hello, young scientific minds! It is I, your host, Professor J. P. La
ahieghy!
Space: its him
Forrest: ...
Mobile L: At long last, the AdEVA connection
Laaheighy: Today, we'll be probing the field of genetics with the scholastic met
hod, using the secrets of deductive reasoning to crack the case, just as Gregor
Mendel did.
Gabby immediately begins taking notes
Narrator : He just begins
Mac D.: "NOW WATCH! AS THESE PIGS MATE!"
Steph reluctantly sets her homework down, watching this bizarre video

Mac D.: "HAHAHAHAH! ZOOM IN ON THE BLOOD, STEVE!"

Narrator : He just
He
He has an old fashioned, alchemy lab.
With like torches and shit.
Mac D.: now seer
should the invader zim theme be his theme
Gabby ...uh... wt frick
Mac D.: or should THIS be his theme
https://soundcloud.com/darth_joe/aqua-teen-hunger-force-the
Narrator : He begins like boiling shit and using his pestle and mortar.
There's some like occult shit in the background.
Mobile L ...whoa... frickin'...
Mac D.: "GENTLEMEN."
Gabby: fffff
Narrator : A Nobel Prize, apparently converted into led.
*lead
Steph likes this aesthetic
Gabby: (...Is this guy legit...?)
Mac D.: "BEHOLD!"
"I HAVE MADE LOVE TO THIS MACHINE!"
"AND NOW, UPON RETROSPECT. I ASK WHYYYYY..."
Laaheighy: BEHOLD! THE SERUM TO PROVE GENETICS!
Forrest: .....
Laaheighy: I shall pour it into this soil, and the plant shall be, converted, in
it genetic code, to a purple-flowering, blood drinking ivy!
Gabby: ...Uh...?
Laahieghy: , this will make my results dramatic, and quite indisputable...
Narrator : He dumps it in
There's an edit.
Gabby:
Steph: ........
Steph this is amazing
Gabby FROWNS
Steph this is beautiful and amazing
Gabby HERESY
Narrator : The room is now covered in ivy, with purple flowers
Forrest: .....
Narrator : Laahieghy has a machete
Laaheighy: For God's sake, good man, stop rolling, this must be destroyed!
Gabby looks at Mr. Schmidt like "are you seeing this????"
Narrator : Mr. Schmidt is watching it
Laaheighy begins going at the ivy with the machete, and is being attacked by it.
Gabby ffffffffrickin'... WHAT
Steph feels the music adds to the experience, rather than detracting from it
Laaheighy: GET THE PEA-PODS, GOD DAMN YOU, GET THE PEA PODS!
Forrest: ....
Gabby texas kid are YOU seeing this????? what the FRICKIN HECK

Forrest is watching it, evidently disinterested

Narrator : There is another cut.
Gabby just looks like a confused, vaguely pissed-off jaybird
Narrator : When it returns, there are two men in the shot.
Steve: Well, uh....about those pea pods....
Laaheighy: It doesn't matter!
Gabby whhhhhat the frick
Steve: Well, what're we gonna do now?
Laahehighy: ... BRING ME MY THERMIIIIIIIIIITE!
Steve: Y-Okay! But where is it?
Steph wonders if this is like, a mythbusters thing
Gabby: ...Fri... uhhhh....?
Steph making science fun
Forrest: .....
Space: would gabby like mythbusters
Laaheighy: BEHIND THE COUNTER, THE ONE FULL OF ACIDS!
Mobile L: Yes, because they don't purport to do genetics and then do this
Steve: Okay, let's just-....-PSSS- Gaaah my eyes!!
Space: but its making science fun
Narrator : Laaheighy is fighting the ivy with his achete
Mobile L: It's HERESY...!
Laaheighy: YOU SHOULD HAVE WORN GOGGLES, THIS IS A LAB ENVIORMENT!!!
AND SPIT OUT THAT GUM!
Steve: THEY WERE IN THE WASH! AAAAAGH- HACKGBACK
Gabby http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Hannah_face_4044.png
Steve spits the gum out of his mouth, firing right at the plant
Narrator : Laaheighy grabs the gum
He just smears it in a puddle of something
And jams it into the plant, which dies.
Forrest: .....
Laaheighy: AH! Now, motto of the story, wear goggles in the lab, follow procedur
e, eh, that's it! And I'll see you next time! Looey, stop rolling. I SAID STGabby:
Narrator : The movie comes to an end.
Gabby: ...Frickin', um...
Steph: ...
Forrest: ...
Steph that was fantastic
Mac D.: http://s17.photobucket.com/user/SpasYYZ/media/65bbe985.jpg.html laaheigh
y and steve
Mr. Schmidt turns the projector off
Mobile L: Beautiful
Mr. Schmidt: I love that one.
Forrest: .....
Mr. Schmidt: Alright, class.
We will resume next time.
Gabby ...ohhhh Mr. Schmidt... Nyeheheh... you, uh... you card, you... WHAT
Mac D.: i tried doing a vocaroo with doctor weird's voice but it kept cracking a
t the best parts
Mobile L: Aww
Mac D.: i just don't got the voice for it anymore...
Mobile L: A for effort

Space: haw haw

Forrest: ....
Gabby looks back down and tries to make sense of that one problem
Narrator : Class ends, and their next one is
hm
what class haven't we had in a while
Mac D.: the sweet release of freedom
Narrator : it's not
alright, i guess history
Nurse Foxhole steps in
Forrest puts his head in one hand against the desk, bored
Forrest looks and sees- oh boy
Nurse Foxhole: RIght, uh, so...
Forrest: ....
Gabby gits reddy
Nurse Foxhole: Ms. Lao, she wasn't able to come today.
Forrest: .........
Gabby: ...Uh... Any updates on her?
Nurse Foxhole: So I'll be running history again!
Steph: ...
Nurse Foxhole: Oh, she's fine.
Just got some nasty bug, that's all.
Forrest: ...
Gabby DOUBT
Nurse Foxhole: Jeeze Louise, man, it's really busy being a sub.
Forrest makes a note to check the library again today
Nurse Foxhole: So, we're doing fun stuff today, yeah?
Remember last time, the Congress of Vienna?
Forrest still has his face bandaged the fuggup
Gabby aaaaaaaaa FRICK
Mobile L: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XzfxG6pqGE
Steph ...westphalia...
Nurse Foxhole: Well today, we're handling the unification of Germany!
Who would like to be our Otto Von Bismarck?
Forrest: ....Wait, are weSteph does not raise her hand this time
Gabby does NOT wanna be a political leader again, pls no...
Nurse Foxhole: C'mon!
Forrest: ....
Space: pick forrest
Forrest oh god no not this shit again
Nurse Foxhole: rolling 1d20
(
6
)
= 6

Forrest this is criminal

Nurse Foxhole: Forrest!
Forrest this is a war cri- god DAMN IT
Forrest: .......
Nurse Foxhole: You're going to be Otto Von Bismarck!
Come up here.
Forrest: .....Oh.
...Great.
Forrest gets up and resentfully makes his way to the front of the class
Gabby ...aw frick, poor Murrican kid
Nurse Foxhole: Now, we need someone to be Napoleon III...
Gabby:
Nurse Foxhole: Any volunteers?
Forrest: ....
Steph: ...................................................
Gabby figures she'd best toss Forrest a bone and put her own bacon on the line
Gabby HAND GO UP
Nurse Foxhole: Gabby!
Hello, you're Emperor Napoleon III!
Gabby: M'kay, frickin' A
Forrest: ....
Nurse Foxhole: Germany hates you.
Mac D.: "EVERYONE hates you, Gabby."
Nurse Foxhole: Alright, we're going to need two Austrians!
Steph: ...
Steph aw fug, everyone's going up...
Steph the reluctant handraise
Nurse Foxhole: Steph, and...
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
= 13
Gabby heckie yeah steph, TEAM PLAYAZ
Nurse Foxhole: Anton!
Steph this is okay, this is something i can live with
Gabby ...okay whew, NOT VLAD yey
Forrest evidently just wants to die by cannonfire and go back to his seat
Nurse Foxhole: Now!
We'll need various German Princedoms....
Everyone else!
The left side of the room are Souther Germans, and the right are Northern German
s!
Gabby tries to give Forrest supportive vibes even though she still kinda hates h
im
Nurse Foxhole: Now, Prussia!
Otto Von Bismarck!

Forrest repels those good vibes like he's got some kind of Grouch Barrier
Space: 'his grouch defenses are at maximum...'
Gabby frickin CHANNEL THE GROUCHINESS INTO ANGER, YOU FRICKER
Nurse Foxhole: You're the power behind the throne of Prussia, you are a staunch
conservative, and you want Germany unified under one banner at all costs.
Gabby AND THE ANGER... INTO TRIUMPH
Forrest: Uh huh. Okay.
Gabby:
Nurse Foxhole: You are Protestant, and you need to unite the various princedoms
of Germany, who all have internal politics and such.
Forrest: ..Okay.
Gabby just now realizes that oh frick, she has French blood and is being the Nap
oleon... friiiick
Nurse Foxhole: Also in your way are the Austrians, who want to keep the Status Q
uo.
Steph nods, in a status quo-ish fashion
Mac D.: breen:"THIS IS A LAWSUIT WAITING TO HAPPEN, CHILD"
Forrest: Ooo-kay.
Gabby: frick off, Dr. Breen, I CHOSE THIS
Nurse Foxhole: Northern Germany is mainly Protestant, and Southern Germany is Ca
tholic
Forrest: Mmmhm.
Nurse Foxhole: You have friends in Northern Germany, but not many in the South.
Forrest: Rrrright.
Nurse Foxhole: Also, you have Emperor Napoleon III, who all Germans dislike beca
use he is a militaristic Frenchman.
Forrest: Uh huh.
Nurse Foxhole: He may attempt to cut into Germany, but may not, that's his perog
ative.
Now, go!
Forrest: .....?
Nurse Foxhole: Unify Germany!
Forrest: ...Oh....Okay.
Steph: .......
Gabby:
Steph just stands around, in an austrian fashion
Gabby DEEP BREATH... channel the frenchness
Nurse Foxhole: fucking racist
Also there are Bohemians who are more Czech than german but have lands in German
y.
Forrest looks at his North German brothers and sisters
Nurse Foxhole: Vlad's a Bohemian.
Steph idly wonders how Foxhole knows so much about history
Vlad: Hungarian.
Nurse Foxhole: For the purposes of this exercise, Bohemian,
Forrest: ...Okay....Uh, you guys kinda stand together by those desks.
Forrest points
Vlad: No.
Nathan: Sounds good to me, man.
Gabby: ...Hey, uh, frickers. Who wants to be part of frickin' France?

Forrest walks over to the southerners

Suzie: I'm not moving anywhere.
Steph: No thanks.
Lilly: We're not dealing with Prussians! Our version of God is better than yours
!
Forrest: And, you guys stand over by those guys for like two seconds
Ken: I am afraid I lack a reason to do so.
Gabby: But do you lack a reason to be part of France?
Ken: Sadly, yes.
Steph: Go back to Paris!
Forrest: It's so Germany can be unified.
Gabby: ...Frickin'... We've got crepes and crap.
Ken: I would lose my country if that happened.
Lilly: And we have Austria to protect us.
Steph: Yeah, that's right.
Anton: Go away, Donut!
Steph: Don't listen to this, uh... chump von Bismarck!
Gabby: But maybe it'd be better, right? I mean, I'm... I'm frickin' Napoleon.
Steph: No, you're, like, his nephew.
Forrest: ....Oh, okay, you're taking this seriously.
Anton: Is funny, because Bismarck is donut.
Nurse Foxhole: Nephew yeah.
Forrest: Allllllright, then.
Steph: Yeah, good one. So... Chump von Donut!
Gabby: I'm frickin' Napoleon's nephew.
Forrest tries to think about what Mister Von Bismark did
Nurse Foxhole: Nephew who is unpopular at home.
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
4
+
5
+
16
)+1
= 26
Nurse Foxhole: And has had colonial misadventures.
Gabby: But stilllllll.
Nurse Foxhole: how the fuck would you know, forrest
Space: american
Gabby: It could be really frickin' good.
Nurse Foxhole: he probably sucked a lot of dick
Space: american trash
Forrest fuckin figures
Forrest alright we wing it
Gabby: Like, frickin'...
Forrest POINTS at Gabby
Nurse Foxhole is busying doing origami
Space: wow my reading comprehension failed
Forrest: Okay, we all agree that Napoleon sucks, right
Space: i saw what foxhole said and what gabby said
and thought gabby was saying that sucking a lot of dick could be really frickin'
good
Narrator : Everyone nods.
Gabby: :^)

Steph: Yeah, screw Napoleon.

Forrest: And Napoleon's talking about making us French and shit.
Gabby: ...What, geddout, I'm frickin'... it'd be good!
Nurse Foxhole puts an origami kaiser helmet on Forrest
Forrest: Who here wants to be French, show of hands-....
.......
Nurse Foxhole: There.
Steph: (Oh my god.)
Nurse Foxhole: Just like the real guy.
Forrest silently utters another prayer for death and keeps going
Narrator : No one raises their hand
Mobile L: Forrest r/n: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z4jx5VMw8M
Forrest: Anybody. Anybody want to be French here.
Guess not.
Gabby: ...You guyyyyyys.
Forrest: Well, I'm of the opinion.
That since Napoleon is such a sack of shit, he's going to force you guys to beco
me French one of these days.
Nurse Foxhole puts an origami napoleon hat on gab, origami crowns on steph and a
nton
Gabby HWOA FRICK
Forrest: Does anyone disagree with this educated guess.
Ken: We still have Austria to protect us.
Steph approves of this crown
Steph: Austria represent!
Nurse Foxhole is good at origami
Forrest: Okay, so.
Gabby: ...Frick, maybe Austria should be French?
Forrest: Would you rather have a unified force of Germany and Austria
or just Austria, when all of France comes running down here screaming for your a
ss.
Steph: We can totally take France.
Vlad: You idiot, we are Germany, we just rule the land seperately.
Gabby: Oh can youuuuuuuuuu...?!...?
Forrest: You think so?
Forrest points at Gabby
Forrest: Look at those eyes.
Steph: ...
Forrest: Those are the eyes of a madman and a monster.
Steph: That's true.
Gabby gets a VERY FRENCH LOOK
Nurse Foxhole whispers to Forrest
Gabby: frickin'*
Forrest: Here, Napoleon, show us what you can do to Austria.
Forrest takes off his origami hat and hands it to Gabby
Space: oshit i got babbage caster in FGO
Gabby: Nyehehehehehe, how d'you like THIS HUH?!
Gabby dramagically starts shredding it to little bitty bits
Forrest: Oh dear. Poor little Austria.

Gabby: I'M FRENCH, I DON'T GIVE A FRICK ABOUT ANYONE!

Steph: Oh no.
Gabby: NYEHEHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Forrest: Couldn't protect anyone.
Lilly: That's a hat.
Gabby: RAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH
Forrest: Now do you understand the full capacity of the threat you face.
Lilly: ...
Steph: Austria isn't made of paper.
Gabby frickin' puts it in her mouth and starts shaking her head around like a do
g
Steph: (oh my god)
Forrest: It might as well be, with that beast running things.
Gabby: It iff if y're N'POLEON'S N'PH'W!
rrrrrrrghhhhhh!
Forrest: Do you understand, Austria.
Vlad: You're all stupid.
Forrest: Why we must become one strong Germany.
Steph: Frankly, I think that's pretty ridiculous.
Steph takes Gabby's hat
Anton: You can not do thing, it was work right for hundred of years!
Steph tears it neatly in half
Gabby: hwWHAAAAAAT?!?!
Steph crumples up the pieces and tosses them in the trash
Gabby: ...why...
Steph: There, where it belongs.
Gabby: ...WHYYYYYY...
...WHY I OUGHTTA...!
Forrest: I see negotiations have broken down.
Anton: Get out of clump, be contries!
Steph: Yeah, what he said, do that.
Gabby hops up and tosses the torn kaiser hat at Steph's head
Gabby: NYERGH!
Steph: .......
Forrest: Oh, would you look at that.
You awoke a sleeping four foot tall giant.
Don't say I didn't warn you, Austria.
Steph: We're still doing okay.
Gabby: PEOPLE WERE SHORTER BACK THEN, FRICK EVERYONE I'M NAPOLEON'S NEPHEW!
Anton: Germans, you stand together, but not be same country.
No one want new war, France will lose.
Gabby: I can win it, I know I can...!
Forrest: What good is a bunch of idiots clumped together who can't decide on any
thing.
Steph: We seem to be doing pretty well for ourselves.
Forrest: I find the chance of one really big idiot to be much higher.
Steph: Yeah, you're a big idiot, alright.
Gabby:
Forrest: Negotiations have failed, then.
Gabby grabs up some paper shreds
Vlad: Fuck, just end it already.
Forrest: Know that you forced me to do this.
Gabby tosses them at Anton

Forrest holds up a finger gun

Forrest: Bang. Bang bang.
Anton flinches
Gabby cackles Frenchly
Steph: .........
Was this how it actually went?
Because...
Forrest: Fuck if I know, but you're German now.
Go stand with the others.
Steph: No, screw you, I was already German.
Nurse Foxhole: Fight back.
Forrest: You're Bismark German now.
Nurse Foxhole: It's a war, you don't just stand there and take it!
Steph points two finger guns at Forrest
Steph: Pew pew.
Forrest: So that's how it's gonna be, huh.
Gabby: ...You guys sure you don't wanna be French? Those guys're real losers.
Forrest AIR GAT
Steph readies an invisible rocket launcher
Forrest: Ratta tat tat.
Steph: Pshoooo!
Gabby: And they're frickin' fighting.
Forrest: Psychic Reflector Shields Woooooooooooo.
Gabby: Like chumps.
Vlad: I don't want to be French, and if you ask me again, I'm going to reenact t
he Second World War next.
Steph: They didn't have those back then!
Forrest: They didn't have rocket launchers either.
Gabby: Ahhhhh, frick you. WHO ELSE WANTS TO BE FRENCH?
Steph: That wasn't a rocket launcher, that was a cannon.
Gabby holds up TWO finger guns
Forrest: It was not you had it draped on your shoulder.
Nathan stands next to Gabby
Steph: Shoulder-mounted canon.
*cnanon
*cannon
Nathan: I'm French now.
Forrest: That's about as legit a psychic reflector shields.
Space: nathan no
Gabby: Ha! That's muh boy.
Steph: Okay, fine.
Steph mimes a normal canon
Steph: *cannon
Gabby: Now help me French the rest of these doofs.
Vlad: Fuck this, Jason, you idiot, get in the clump, it will end sooner.
Forrest: Go on. Shoot me. I dare you.
Gabby BRANDISHES the French guns menacingly at the clump
Gabby: This is a stickup.
Vlad: She wants to play.
Alright.

France.
You're German now.
Steph: ssssssssss.... BOOM
Vlad: Quick, mob her.
Forrest makes surfboard motions with his arms
Gabby: Frick not, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIIIIIVE
Space: the swarm
Narrator : They begins crowding her
Steph: BOOM BOOM BOOM
(Anton, help out my cannon volley!)
Forrest: Fwoosh woosh shoosh.
Rules of Nature.
Gabby cackles maniacally and rides the crazy train all the way to Heck
Steph: Rules of what?
Narrator : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mn2XgLATFA
Forrest: ...It's from a-...Forget it.
Forrest looks at Foxhole
Forrest: Look- who won this?
Gabby is COVERED WITH SCORPIONS
Nurse Foxhole: Germany isn't unified.
France is being beaten up.
Austria wins.
Space: gabby: "whattre you doing to my head..."
Steph: 8)
Forrest: ....Is that actually how it went in history.
Gabby: I REGRET NOTHIIIIIIIIING! NYEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
Nurse Foxhole: No.
No.
Not at all.
Gabby: FRANCE IS CRAZY AS FRICK.
CRAZY
Nurse Foxhole: Well, I mean.
Gabby: AS
Nurse Foxhole: France was invaded.
Gabby: FRICK.
Nurse Foxhole: And Austria satyed out of it.
But that's about it.
Forrest: Oh.
Nurse Foxhole: Germany really did unify.
Space: jasper just does not care
she's been there this whole time
Forrest: This whole thing was kind of pointless, then.
Mobile L: Judgin' u
Steph: Well, that's what happens when you start wars.
Gabby: NYEHEHEHEhehehe... hhhhokay I need to frickin' breathe, aaaaaaaaa
Forrest: Can I just go sit down now.
Gabby tries to worm her way outta the Germany pile
Nurse Foxhole: Yeah, sure.
Steph swooshes back over to her seat, proud of Austria's accomplishment
Gabby: ...Hoogh.
Forrest goes back to his desk, having evidently not had fun
Nurse Foxhole: Yeah, but that's what unifying Germany is like.

Gabby dizzily wobbles her way back to her desk, looking like she found that cath
artic
Nurse Foxhole: Only instead of Forrest.
It was a fat, bald, mustachioed Prussian man,
And instead of Steph, it was some weird, crusty, inbred Austrian guy.
Forrest has his "i want to go home" face
Nurse Foxhole: And instead of Gabby, it was a fat, mustachioed, rude French guy.
Gabby nyehehehehe, FRENCH SUCK
Nurse Foxhole begins to go over the unificaion of germany in more detail
Forrest LEEEEEARNIN
Steph again wonders how he knows all this stuff
Gabby eh... history's a'ight, I guess
Nurse Foxhole: ... Now, can anyone tell me what the war between the Northern Ger
man Confederation and the French Empire was called?
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
20
+
3
+
14
)+1
= 38
Nurse Foxhole: the Franco-Prussian War
Forrest: The Franco-Prussian War.
Space: he knew that, but not anything about otto von bsimarck
Mac D.: literal gues
Nurse Foxhole: Good!
And that war brought Southern Germany into the fold, out of fear of France.
Forrest wow he just put two descriptive words together
Gabby wipes her tie on her glasses
Nurse Foxhole: Germany won, hands-down, and Napoleon III was deposed
Gabby GOOD...
Nurse Foxhole: Germany took the two wealthy provinces of Alsace and Lorraine.
Forrest: ...
Nurse Foxhole: And France became a Republic yet again.
Steph good
Steph fuck france
Forrest quietly ponders for a moment why everyone intuitively hates the french
Gabby yeah, FRICK FRANCE, Quebec is hecka gay
Nurse Foxhole: Now, that wraps up the talking bit of the class, open up your boo
ks, read if you need it, and do whatever questions you feel you should do.
Forrest: ....Do we have any assigned.
Nurse Foxhole: No, no, work at your own pace.
Do what you feel is nessecary.
Forrest: ....

Forrest WHATEVER YOU SAY B0SS

Forrest keeps that book shut
Steph casually fips through her textbook
Steph *flips through
Forrest: .....
Forrest decides to take this opportunity to further his investigation
Forrest gets up and walks up to Foxhole
Gabby decides to do, like, five questions instead of three like she wanted to, j
ust because she liked that thing so much
Forrest: Excuse me.
Nurse Foxhole: Oh, yeah?
Forrest lowers his voice
Forrest: I've got a personal question I'd like to ask you.
Nurse Foxhole: Oh, uh, we can take that outside...
Nurse Foxhole heads out of the room
Forrest follows
Mobile L: He's comin' out...
Space: dramatic personal reveal music
Forrest: ...Alright....This may seem like a strange question......
Nurse Foxhole: Pssh, it's fine.
Forrest: Okay....
Forrest inhaaaaales
Forrest: Do you know anyone who lived in Belmont during the sixties.
Nurse Foxhole: Uh, let me think...
Dr. Hall...
Forrest: ......
Forrest oh
Forrest great
Mobile L: dun dun DUN
Forrest that fella
Space: oh shit
Forrest: ....I see...Alright, that was all.
Space: only one guy
lived in belmont in the sixties
Nurse Foxhole: Hey. no problem.
Space: one singular soul
Nurse Foxhole: no, h's just the only one foxhole knows
Forrest: .....Are we doing anything else this class period?
Nurse Foxhole: Nope.
Forrest: Do you think I could be excused to go see him.
Space: forrest then promptly ditches
no
Gabby hmm hmm hmmm, queystions...
Space: no don't see hall
Nurse Foxhole: Sure, sure.
Space: you're gonna die

Nurse Foxhole: ...Uh...

I mean, you should know...
Forrest: ....?
Nurse Foxhole: He's a little weird...
Forrest: ....I figured as much.
I'm only going to ask him some questions, that's it.
Nurse Foxhole: That's fine then, good luck!
Forrest nods, then HEADS FOR HALL
Dr. Hall is heading for his office
Forrest sees him and approaches
Forrest: Excuse me, Dr. Hall.
Dr. Hall: Oh? Oh, it's only you.
Come in, my office is open to all students.
Forrest: I've got a few questions to ask, that's all.
Dr. Hall steps into his office
Forrest: ...
Forrest exhales and steps in after him
Dr. Hall sits at his desk, gesturing to a chair
Gabby: (boy i sure wonder how dr. hall is doing... it's a good thing nobody's fr
icked around with him in awhile. it'd be really bad if he got ahold of another k
id)
Dr. Hall: Please, take a seat.
Forrest: ..............................................
Forrest sits
Dr. Hall: You mentioned questions, Mr. Freeman?
Forrest: Alright....I've been told you lived here in Belmont back in the sixties
.
Dr. Hall: That is true, yes, why do you ask?
Forrest: I'm looking into the mysterious explosion that occurred by the school b
ack then.
Mobile L: missssssster freeman
Space: hey mobile
Mobile L: Yeh
Dr. Hall: Now why would a student be looking into something like that?
Forrest: It's a hobby.
I was wondering if you had any personal accounts involving the explosion.
Space: on a scale of 1-10 how fuck'd do you think forrest is
Mobile L: I'd say a solid 7
Space: yeah that sounds about right
Dr. Hall: Oh, I've heard many...
Forrest: Do you remember where you were when it happened.
Dr. Hall: Why, I believe I was playing in my family's front yard...
I was very young at the time, you understand.
Forrest: ...Ah-....Yeah, I should have guessed that.
..Well, if you lived here back then, do you know anyone else who lived here that
still lives here today.
Maybe.....Someone who was around my age back then.
Dr. Hall: Only senile old men... and corpses.
Forrest: .....
Can I have the names of the old men.
Dr. Hall: I hardly see why you would want to bother poor old folks.
Forrest: Just a few questions.
Dr. Hall: Their lives are coming to an end, let them rest.

No use reliving bad memories... without an apt reason, of course.

Dr. Hall sips his tea
Forrest: ......The reason behind the explosion was never solved, right?
Dr. Hall: No, and I suppose you're going to find out?
Forrest: If I can.
Dr. Hall: You'd solve a fifty year old cold case about an explosion, where your
only witnesses are senile and that Belmont's best investigators could not solve
when it was fresh?
Forrest: Yeah. If I can.
Dr. Hall: That is quite the daunting task.
Dr. Hall sips
Dr. Hall: I treated several of these men, I'd have to review my old patient reco
rds.
Forrest: ....Alright, then. Can you tell me the names when you find them.
Dr. Hall: I'll make sure you hear them.
Forrest nods
Forrest: Thanks, Doctor.
Dr. Hall: Don't mention it, Mr. Freeman.
Please, come back anytime.
You're due a visit, anyway.
Forrest: Right. Thanks again.
Dr. Hall nods
Forrest gets up, and exits the office
Forrest: .....
Forrest returns to the classroom and sits back down
Narrator : The bell goes.
Forrest: ....
Narrator : The next class is Art
Forrest dammit i had just sat down now i gotta sit back UP.....
Steph is enjoying reading about the germans
Steph didn't even know forrest left
Forrest ohboy, art
Steph is ready to fuckin draw shit
Mr. Pink: Hey, kids!
Forrest wonder what first-grade project we're getting from Markiplier THIS time
Mr. Pink: fuck you
Today we're gonna do some shizz with Zentangle!
Anyone know what Zentagle is?
*Zentangle
Forrest: ...
rolling 3d20 +1
(
6
+
3
+
8
)+1

= 18
Space: my mom checked out a book of that from the library one
Mr. Pink: i'm not lending forrest a hand
Forrest lol idunno
Mac D.: BREATHE MOBILE BREATHE
Mr. Pink: why does no one else answer
Mac D.: space feverishly google searches Zentangle
Steph: rolling 3d20
(
1
+
15
+
5
)
= 21
It's, uh... tangled... zen??
Mobile L: Horf, soz, had to help with dishes
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Mind
{(
15
+
20
+
9
)}+1
= 16
Mac D.: gabby save us
Mobile L: Mystic Vietnamese zen knowledge
???: Zentangle is a self-help art therapy practice to enhance relaxation and foc
us. Zentangle is known to many artists and craftivistas as a way to create struc
tured designs through drawing various patterns.
Steph: thanks ???
!?!: http://roccitywellness.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/zentangle.jpg
Space: thanks !?!
Gabby HAND GO UP
!?!: http://www.charlescountymd.gov/sites/default/files/coadmin/tourism/zentangl
e.jpg
Gabby: It's like a self-help doodle thing that makes you focus and stuff. Doodli
ng during lectures actually does help you remember stuff, so it makes, like, per
fect frickin' sense.
Mobile L: Ah shit, I actually did a lotta that without even knowing what it was
Mr. Pink nods
Mr. Pink: Very good!
Forrest: ....
Mr. Pink: Now, all of you, take nine little paper squares, and do free-style Zen
tangle on them, here are some examples!
Mr. Pink points at the corckboard, which has examples on it
Gabby PSH... this oughtta be a cakewalk
Forrest: ......
Forrest just
Forrest makes a line

Gabby rubs ye lucky coat

Steph gets to artin
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
1
+
7
+
15
)}+1
= 8
Mr. Pink: roll finesse and spriti all of you
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + -1 for Spirit
{(
13
+
16
+
5
)}+-1
= 12
Forrest: rolling 3d20 -1
(
5
+
8
+
17
)-1
= 29
rolling 3d20
(
3
+
10
+
10
)
= 23
Narrator : Steph's lines are a bit of a hot mess, but there's passion behind it.
Forrest's line is crooked and soulles.
Forrest: much like my soul
....
Gabby: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 0 for Finesse
{(
18
+
16
+
8
)}+0
= 16
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 0 for Spirit
{(
20
+
17
+
6

)}+0
= 17
Gabby [dramatic Vietnamese chanting]
Narrator : Gabby's is great.
RIght before the class is going to hand it in, the bell goes.
Mr. Pink: Oh...
Forrest wow, misery really DOES make time fly
Mr. Pink: Well, uh, next time, right?
Forrest: .......
Gabby ohhhhhhm...
Forrest just stows his away in his back
Forrest bag
Mobile L: Him a turtle
Narrator : The day is now: Over.
Steph oh thank gosh
Forrest FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOM
Forrest weighs the chances that he will be dragged into Hell and eaten today
Forrest steps outside, nursing his still-bandaged face
Forrest: ....This'll be a hell of a story to explain back home.
Gabby heads on oat as well
Gabby: ...You gonna be okay?
Teddy Reinside: Hey, kids!
Forrest: Yeah, it's just a busted n....
Forrest looks up at Teddy
Steph: ...Oh!
Gabby ohhhh frickle
Forrest: ....Oh, you.
.....Do you work here, I forget.
Teddy Reinside: They finally let me out of the hospital for real!
Forrest: ....Oh.
Teddy Reinside: No, no.
Forrest: Oh, so you were in the hospital.
This explains the pants.
Mobile L: http://i.imgur.com/2S0D87W.png
Teddy Reinside: This is the brainwashing factory, don't you know
Space: its them
Teddy Reinside: This is where they make kids drink the kool-aide!
Mac D.: it's
Gabby: ...Huh.
Mac D.: beautiful...!
Forrest: Right, yeah.
Teddy Reinside cups his hands over his mouth, shoting at Hawthorne
Mobile L: They're perfect for each other
Teddy Reinside: YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK!
Forrest: .....

Mr. Hawthorne scratches his head

Steph: .....
Mr. Hawthorne: ... Take what to which bank...
Forrest: O-kay. Well, might as well hang around here for a bit.
Mr. Hawthorne slowly wanders off
Steph: Okay! Is that what we're... doing?
The looking around thing?
Forrest: Looking around for what.
Steph: You know... I still haven't found my science textbook.
Forrest: Oh.
Okay.
Vlad: Excuse me, out of my way.
Forrest: For a second there I thoughtSteph: Oh-Steph moves
Forrest notices Vlad shlunk around like a Grinch
Vlad: Not you.
Steph: Oh.
Gabby peeps at the Vlayd
Vlad: I have some questions.
What the fuck was Liz doing with you?
Forrest: .....?
Forrest looks between Steph and Vladdy
Steph: Uh, she -- wanted to talk about something.
Forrest: ....
Gabby:
Vlad: No shit, you really are a Sherlock.
Gabby don't know what the frick
Steph: Hey, you asked.
Vlad: What did she want to talk about, because she doesn't fuck around with a bu
nch of brats unless it's important.
Forrest: ....Well shit. Who's this lady, your boss.
Gabby: ...Yeah, who the frick?
Vlad: Fuck off, I'm not talking to you.
Forrest: True, but I'd like to know regardless.
Vlad: maybe space should post
Steph folds her arms
Steph: I don't think that it's any business of yours.
Vlad: We'll see.
Vlad tucks his hands in his pockets and alks off
Vlad: Whatever.
Steph: (Jackass...)
Forrest: ....
Forrest looks at Steph
Forrest: Wow, what gang shit are you wrapped up in.
Vlad: I got her off your ass, and this is my thanks.
Bitch.
Vlad continues walking
Steph: I guess a lot?
It doesn't matter.

Gabby: ...What crawled up his butt and died?

Ken: The way he spoke was abominable...
Forrest: Maybe they're a couple.
Gabby: Yeah, no frickin' kidding... That fricker, I dislike him.
...So he knows some lady?
Like, what happened?
Forrest looks at Steph
Forrest: Yeah, I'd like to know that too.
Did you get involved in some street war yesterday.
Steph: Fuckin', uh, Liz Rubik. She saw some kind of light show like a day or two
before and wanted to know what the fuck.
Gabby: ...Like, related to you?
Forrest: What's a light show have to do with you.
Steph: When I say 'light show,' I mean...
Y'know.
Forrest: ....Oh. Okay.
So who is she, does she go to this school.
Steph: No, she's from another school.
Forrest: Huh. Okay.
Gabby: ...Yeah, y'know. Maybe she and Vlad are fricking.
Or she's, like, his weed dealer. Some crap.
Forrest: Maybe he thought she was flirting with her.
Does she look like the type who swings both ways.
Gabby: ...Nyeheheh, ohoh frick, like... Like a lez?
Steph: Oh my god this is really not important?
Can we just -- do something else now.
Forrest: Bi, but close enough.
Gabby: Ohhhhh frick, Steph, frickin'...
...Buy what?
Gabby lol, sheltered
Forrest: No, B-I. Bisexual.
Gabby: ...Wait. Wait, like... gay, but also not gay?
Forrest: ....Yeah, sure, let's go with that.
Gabby: Is that really a thing?
Forrest: Yeah. I mean, there's a term for it, so.
Gabby: ...That's... It's not just an America thing?
Steph: Jesus Christ...
Forrest: .......Oh yeah.
Just another one of the great American traditions.
Baseball, Apple Pie, Guns, and Bisexuality.
Ken: ...
Gabby: ...Nyeheheheh! Friiiiick, all the dang crap I never even hear about...
Forrest looks at Steph
Forrest: So are you going to go look for your science book or something.
Steph: Yes! Thank you.
Forrest: Okay, good luck with that.
Steph: ...What do you mean, good luck with that?
Forrest: Because if shit doesn't go south, I'm headed to the library.
...What do you think I mean.
I'm wishing you luck in looking for your science book.
Steph: Okay, when I say, 'I'm looking for my science book,' I mean...
Forrest: .....
Gabby: ...Uh, Steph? Am I... Am I missing a thing?
Narrator : Everyone has left, besides the gang. and two people on the shore.
Gabby leans in and whispers
Forrest: ...?

Forrest looks over shorewise

Gabby: (you don't need a pad or something, do you?)
Narrator : They're talking.
Steph: No, Gabby.
Forrest: .....Huh.
Steph: I don't.
Gabby: (okay, 'cuz I have 'em in my bag. then what is it???)
Narrator : Neither of them seem particularly happy.
Steph: I mean, like... do the thing we always do? After school?? You know???
Forrest: .....
Steph: It's a euphemism.
Narrator : it hasn't happened
you fucking idiot
Space: you're the idiot
Gabby: (...ohhhh! but, like, everyone here's in the know, so why'd you...?)
Space: fool
Forrest: ...Wonder what got the Nurse down.
Gabby: ...Eh?
Steph: It's important to be-What?
Forrest gestures to the shore
Gabby: ...Is he broken up about the Prussia crap? I thought it went well and he
liked it.
Steph: Whatever it is, it's probably something personal.
Forrest: I don't know, maybe he prefers historical accuracy.
Gabby: ...Ms. Lachance, too.
Hm.
Forrest: You're right, it probably is something personal.
Excuse me for a moment.
Gabby: Yea... Uh...?
Steph: Yeah, you do... uh, you do that.
Forrest walks over to the bottom-left table and just HAS a sit
Gabby: ...Hope he's quiet.
Narrator : has a shit
Gabby: ...Y'know.
...I think I maybe don
*don't hate him that much.
Forrest: .....
Nurse Foxhole: ... It's like it used to be...
Forrest: ...?
Steph: Who? Forrest?
Ms. Lachance: Fuck off, Jamie.
We're not doing this again.
Forrest: .....
Ms. Lachance: I don't fucking pity you, and I don't want your fucking pity, eith
er.
Gabby: Yeah. He's frickin'... he's weird, and he's kinda crabby, but like... I d
on't think he's bad.
Forrest: .......
Ms. Lachance: Just leave me alone.
Nurse Foxhole: ...
Steph: He's not bad, just, like... fuckin', um, infuriating.
Y'know.
Nurse Foxhole: ... I...
Nurse Foxhole sighs

Nurse Foxhole walks off

Forrest: ..........
Forrest looks at Lachance
Gabby: Yeah, but, like... That's 'cuz he's foreign and also maybe because he doe
sn't know how to do crap with people. I think maybe, he could be somebody if he
wanted to.
Ms. Lachance sits down on the sand, looking at the sea
Forrest: ....
Forrest do i dare
Forrest: ..........
Space: who dares, wins
Ms. Lachance sighs
Forrest sure why the fuck not
Forrest approaches THE BEAST
Ken: He means well.
Gabby: Yeah, he does. I mean, he's not frickin' vacant upstairs or anything. He
could probably go to college and study something in STEM.
Nathan: Maybe he's mean 'cause he's fat...
Forrest: Excuse me, Ms. Lachance.
Steph: I mean, I trust him and all.
Teddy Reinside: I, uh, well, if nothing is happening, I'll be off making some im
portant things happen.
Gabby: ...Y'know. What if he is? I mean, everybody gives fat guys crap and all,
right?
Teddy Reinside: Stay smart, kids, the truth is out there!
Teddy Reinside rushes off
Steph: Wait, What important things?
...Oh.
Gabby: ...Oh, okay, Teddy. Be carefu
Teddy Reinside: YOU'LL SEE!
Steph: Oh, god.
Gabby: ...Nyeheh.
Ms. Lachance doesn't look at him
Gabby: ...Like, even my Grandma, people give her crap all the time, and it sucks
, and I dunno how she doesn't get ticked.
Ms. Lachance: Piss off or I'll smash your teeth in.
Forrest: Well, okay.
Forrest does not piss of
Steph: People have different ways of dealing with stuff.
Nathan: I'm gon' let him know it's okay.
He's just big-boned, that's what they say, right?
Gabby y'know how sometimes it really shows that gabby is a small kid in a big ki
d school? this is evidently one of those times.
Steph: It'd... probably be a good idea not to bring it up.
Gabby: ...Uh, yeah. Just, like, don't go telling him that. Yeah.
Ms. Lachance: I told you to piss off.
Forrest: And I refused. And this is the part where you smash my teeth in.
Gabby: ...I'm just frickin'... I'm just gonna be as chill with Forrest as I poss
ibly can and see if that helps.
Ms. Lachance: You want dentures, you little shit?

Forrest: I'm hoping the bandages will cushion the blow somewhat.
Lilly is silent, somewhat just expecting to be welcomed into the gang
Lilly: ...
Rather odd isn't.
Gabby: Because... Because I know now that when people... Hm?
Steph: ...
Gabby looks at Lilly
Mobile L: My computer has 51 mins of battery left and I'll probs pass out around
then, just an FYI
Mac D.: STRENGTH
Mobile L: Been up since 6 tho
Forrest continues to stand there
Mac D.: you're a strong independent texan woman mobile
Space: believe in yourself
Mobile L: I gotta channel all that black-eyed pea power into my soul...!
Mac D.: THAT'S THE SPIRIT, COWGIRL
Space: [texan national anthem plays]
Mobile L: Yeeeeeeehaw!
:)
Mac D.: meanwhile our canadian has died of frostbite
Mobile L: eldy pls, we love you
Space: we'll have to commandeer this roll20
Steve: i'm the hero now
Space: steve lives
Steve: let's go fight the aliens kids
Mac D.: btw i am steve
do not have false hope
Space: god damn you duff
Mobile L: :^) https://40.media.tumblr.com/f75d2d051aac94f8e4ed999e7ce12bcb/tumbl
r_mqiu019qrL1ro9w48o1_540.jpg
Space: oh no
Mac D.: i have prepared the ritual to bring seer back https://www.youtube.com/wa
tch?v=7LxITlJplhw
Mobile L: I hope it works
the pain
Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT6OeBeWT8g
Mac D.: it's okay
he will return i have faith
Mobile L: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Gan_FsqVqw
Lilly: i'm back
Space: oh my go
they speak english in Yee
Mobile L: YEE
hallo eldy
Mac D.: ARISE, CHICKEN
Ms. Lachance: What do you want?
Forrest: ...To be honest, I'm still trying to come up with that.
Lilly: That, well, all of this craziness happens, and we're going on like it's j
ust normal business. I feel like that's a good attitude.
Gabby: ...Honestly, it took me awhile to be able to do this.
Forrest: I mean, I was going to ask you about coffee and making it and whatnot,
but I figured that would be cheating so that wouldn't go anywhere.
Then I was thinking of asking about that conversation a few seconds ago, but we'
re total strangers to each other, so that doesn't seem right to talk about.
Steph: We have to do it. Life goes on, with or without all of this... this weird
shit.
Forrest: So I decided that the image of a teacher sitting on a beach alone in fr

ont of all her students is really depressing.

So I figured if I stood over here and talked to you, that would look better.
And that's what I came up with.
Gabby: ...And hey, you seem to be catching on pretty well. Nyeheheh...
Ms. Lachance: You shouldn't have.
I like being alone, I don't have to listen to any stupid fucking kids.
Or a bunch of slack-jawed idiots too busy fucking each other to do their God dam
ned jobs
Lilly: I'm green, is the reason, I don't really understand much of this myself.
Gabby: ...Well, I'd say you'll learn soon enough, but, uh... the stuff doesn't s
eem to be happening right now.
Forrest: ...I always figured being a teacher was a huge pain.
Lilly: Well, here's hoping, then!
Ms. Lachance: It is.
Steph: ...
Forrest: .....
Gabby: Yeah...
Forrest: ...I'm sorry about riding you about that debate stuff in class today.
Steph: It's, uh...
Ms. Lachance: I don't care.
I don't know why you'd apologize, either.
Steph: ...It's a nice day out.
Lilly: Oh, but isn't it, though
Forrest: The other teachers seem fairly gung-ho about their assignments, I didn'
t expect you to be different.
Ken nods
Gabby: Really is... Nyeheh. Still got this dang coat on.
Gabby takes it off and awkwardly drapes it o'er her shoulder
Suzie: It seem a little hot for a coat.
Gabby: Yeah, but you never know.
Forrest: So that was my bad.
Ms. Lachance: ...
Steph: ...It's a nice coat.
Ms. Lachance: You should leave me alone.
Mobile L: fug, 17 mins of babbery
Ms. Lachance: I... I don't like you.
I don't like anyone.
Forrest: I'm used to not being liked.
Mobile L: Ms. Lachance :,(
Forrest... :,<
Suzie: ...
Space: social link will form
Ms. Lachance: ...
Ms. Lachance hasn't looked at him this whole time
Ms. Lachance doesn't respond
Forrest: ...
Nathan: ... Man, I'm hung- IT'S FRIDAY!
Mobile L: tmi, Nathan
Space: nsfw
Nathan whoops, pumping his arms in the air
Steph: ...Oh shit, it is!
Gabby: ...Wait, really? Frickin' already?
Ms. Lachance: Thanks.
I don't know why you're visiting me.
But thank you.

Ms. Lachance checks her watch

Ms. Lachance: ... I don't want to miss my movie...
Ms. Lachance stands up
Forrest: Hope it's good.
Lilly: Oh, excellent, that's great...
Lilly sighs in relief
Ms. Lachance: It probably isn't,
Ms. Lachance walks to the bus stop
Space: i feel bad for ms lachance
Forrest watches her walk off
Forrest: ....
Forrest walks back to the other kids
Steph: ...?
Oh, how'd it go?
Mobile L: Me too
Suzie whistles Rebecca Black's Friday to herself
Forrest: Fair. What'd I miss.
Mobile L: fuk yes Sooz
Battery's almost ded
Suzie: you're almost dead
Steph: It's Friday.
Mac D.: godspeed, womun
Suzie: the battery is your life
Forrest: ...Oh-..Right, yeah.
Good, that means I got time to work.
Gabby: ...Is, uh... Ms. Lachance okay?
Steph: ...
Forrest: She's fine. She was just waiting on the bus to go see a movie.
Gabby: ...Okay, good... Hey, uh... Thanks for checking on her.
Lilly: Right, well, I'll be off, I want to check out that new skate-board park t
hey're opening!
Gabby: ...Ooh, heck yeah! Have fun, Lilly.
Forrest: Mm.
Lilly: Oh, will do!
Lilly jogs off, excited
Steph: ...Well, uh...
...
Steph did not actually make any plans
Mobile L: 6 minnitd
Forrest looks at Steph
Mobile L: *minnits
Space: nooo
Narrator : What can seven people do for fun in a city?
Forrest: ....What's up, don't feel like finding your book.
Narrator : Or what can one person do on a Weekend?
Steph: That was a euphemism.
Gabby FRICKIN' MATH PROBLEMS AND PIANO PRACTICE
Narrator : Or what can seven people do for fun on a Weekend?
Or What can seven people and one shapeless demon do for fun in general?

Forrest: So do you not feel like being eaten by demons or what.

Steph: ...
Not... right this moment, no.
hey there pal
Forrest: Allll right.
Mobile L: Yo, y'all keep goin', but I must depart here
Space: goode nite
Forrest: I'm going to the library. You enjoy your Weekend.
Mobile L: G'night, friends/romans/countrymen
Mac D.: rest well
Mobile L DIES FOR MANY YEARS
Narrator : oh also
Steph: What're you going there for?
Space: ominous silence
Forrest: I'm doing research.
Space: oh
positive silence
Narrator : Something something Social Link
Something something person- err Archetype
Steph: ...
Forrest: who pinned this plastic chain to my shirt
Narrator : Something Something NUMBERS
Steph keeps in mind what they said while talking about Forrest
Narrator : RANKU WAN!!!!
Steph: Mind if I tag along?
Forrest: .....Did you need something at the library, too.
Steph: Well... not really. But I've got nothing better to do.
Forrest: ..........
....Alright, but don't blame me if you get bored, though.
Narrator : you're a last resort, forrest
the social link is broken
Steph: Okay, that's fine.
Forrest throws the plastic chain at her face
Narrator : steph and forrest now have RANKU MINUS WAN!!!!!!
Forrest says "see yu" to the other kids and starts for the Library
Steph does much the same
Narrator : Steph and Forrest go to the Library.
Forrest WEEEEEEEe
Steph: Okay... what are we looking for?
Forrest: I have some books on the town's history and local legend, already.
I also wouldn't mind.....Some books on the growth or brewing of coffee, and some
stuff on the anatomy of pigs.
Richard Moneypenny walks in
Forrest: ....?
Steph: .....
Richard Moneypenny: to the library
Forrest looks over at THE MONEYPENNY
Steph: ...Ugh.
Forrest: ....Know him?
Steph: Yeah.
He's just a douche.
Forrest: Did you ride his bus, too.

Richard Moneypenny: no but sshe wishes she could ;)

Steph: What?
Forrest: He has a bus.
I rode it home yesterday.
Steph: ...Jeez...
Forrest: Though now that I think about it, the bus was probably stolen.
I think he's an escaped con.
Steph: No, we just ate at his Chinese restaurant.
He had, like, this really racist fake costume and stuff.
Forrest: Wow, he owns a restaurant, too?
....Well shit, maybe he is the mayore.
Steph: Did he say he was the mayor?
Forrest: Yeah.
Richard Moneypenny isn't the mayor
Forrest: ...Forget it, let's head inside.
Steph: Jesus.
Yeah, okay.
Richard Moneypenny immediatly ambushes them
Forrest: ....
Steph: ...
Richard Moneypenny is dressed
Richard Moneypenny is dressed as an old, stereotypical librarian lady, with a wi
g and makeup
Forrest: .......
Richard Moneypenny: Oh, hello, me young dearies...
Steph: What the fuck.
Richard Moneypenny: I'm afraid but because children these days do not visit us e
nough, we have begun to exact entrance fees to the library...
Fifty dollars, from each of you...
Forrest: ......So I guess bus driving doesn't pay like it used to?
Richard Moneypenny: Oh? Whatever could ye mean, dearie?
Forrest: .....
Steph: How's the restaurant going?
Steph folds her arms
Richard Moneypenny: What resteraunt...?
I'm simply Phyllis Greene, the humble libarian.
*librarian
Steph looks at Forrest
Forrest: .....Uh huh.
Richard Moneypenny: So pay up, me dearies...
Richard Moneypenny stretches out a hand
Forrest: .....
Forrest looks at Steph
Steph: I can give you, like, a dollar.
Richard Moneypenny: Give me- me fifty dollars...
Forrest: Do you have private libraries in Canada.
Steph: This one isn't.
Forrest: Okay, so if this is a government-funded library, then why do you need m
oney from the public.
Richard Moneypenny: Oh, we don't get enough...
Soon, we'll have to start burning the books...
Forrest: From the government.

Richard Moneypenny: Yes...

Forrest: To the point that you have to ask for fifty dollars at the door.
Richard Moneypenny: Yes, it's a sad state of affairs...
Forrest: I'm surprised with such a crippling lack of funds, you manage to keep t
he place in such pristine condition.
Steph: Look, just go bother someone else.
Richard Moneypenny: Oh, you know how it is, I just slave all day, develoRichard Moneypenny is shoved into
Richard Moneypenny by Richard Moneypenny
Forrest: ...............
Steph: ...???
Richard Moneypenny: Ooff, oh me back!
Steph: ????????
Forrest: .........
RM2: Hey, watch it, bitch!
God damn old people, always getting in my way...
Forrest: ..........
Steph looks at forrest again, deeply confused
RM2 looks at Steph and Forrest, is surprised, looks back at the old lady for a m
oment, then gains an angry expression
RM2: So, fucking this poor old lady, huh?
Forrest looks at Steph with his usual expression
RM2: First you fuck me, and now the old lady.
Forrest looks back at Richard
Forrest: Excuse me.
RM2: Is there anyone in this town you're not above fucking?
Steph: ??? ??? ?? ???? ? ? ????? ?
RM2: I got my resteraunt, uh, closed down!
Forrest: Oh.
RM2: And it's your fault, you little, err, shits!
Forrest: Did you lose the bus, too.
RM2: Y-yeah, in the war!
Forrest: ....What war.
Steph: What war.
RM2: The war, that I fought in!
Forrest: You mean the war that took place between yesterday and today.
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, oh me back...
Richard Moneypenny? falls over
Forrest looks down at the frail old moneypenny
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, there be a disk out of place, oh Lord, spirit, help me.
.
RM2: Shut up, you old bitch!
Steph: ...Can we go now??
RM2: Fuck, you, I'm gonna show you what happens when you fuck with me.
Forrest looks at RM2
RM2 reaches into his coat
Forrest: .......
Forrest so this is how i die
Richard Moneypenny? leaps up and punches RM2 in the dick
Richard Moneypenny?: No, not the kiddies!

Forrest: ...........
Steph: ...........
RM2 crumples, clutching hsi sack
RM2 's voice cracks a bit as he speaks
RM2: OUgh.... youl... fucking... asshole...
Richard Moneypenny?: Get out, ye trash!
Richard Moneypenny? tosses RM2 onto the street
Forrest: ..........................................
Steph: ......
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh...
Oh, me back...
Forrest looks back at Old Miss Moneypenny
Richard Moneypenny?: Me joints...
Oh, me everything...
Forrest: ......
Steph: ...Should we... call a doctor??
Richard Moneypenny?: Are ye kids alright...?
Forrest: ...Yeah, let's call a doctor.
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, no, no, kiddies, don't other yeselves...
I've lived through worse...
Forrest: Well I mean if you're in crippling pain.
Richard Moneypenny?: Just give me ye fifty dollars and I'll be able to sit down.
..
Steph: ...
Forrest: No, no. The hospital call should come first.
There's a phone in the building, right.
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, just use your cellphone, kiddie...
Forrest: You know, I thought of that, but I'm afraid it's out of juice.
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, that's terrible...
Steph: I... left mine at home...?
Forrest: But we can't possibly ignore your pain.
Richard Moneypenny?: Our phone is on the old fritz again...
Forrest: Oh, that's fine. Hotwiring landlines is one of my hobbies.
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, alright, kiddie, follow me...
Richard Moneypenny? begins limping
Richard Moneypenny? heads into a back room
Richard Moneypenny? it's dark
Forrest stands at the doorway
Forrest: Funny place to keep a phone.
Steph: ...
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, sh- dear, oh, where's the lightswitch, m- oh...
Forrest: Here, let me.
Richard Moneypenny?: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Finesse
{(
17
+
7
+
5
)}+3
= 10
Richard Moneypenny? hits their knee on a table
Richard Moneypenny?: OH DEAR, ME JOINT!

ME JOINT!
is forrest going to do something
Forrest: .....
Forrest pulls out his cell phone and turns on the light function, shining it int
o the room
Forrest: How about that. That better.
Richard Moneypenny? looks aat him
Richard Moneypenny?: ... Ye said it was out...
Forrest: ...Oh, well would you look at that, seems there's some left.
You wait in here, I'll make the call.
Steph: ........
Richard Moneypenny?: Oh, no, dearie.
Richard Moneypenny? begins walking out
Forrest: No, no, I insist.
Forrest shuts the door
Richard Moneypenny?: I don't like the dark room.
Steph: You really shouldn't move around so much...
Forrest turns to steph
Forrest: Alright, let's go.
Richard Moneypenny? opens the door
Richard Moneypenny?: ...
Steph: ......
Richard Moneypenny?: You have made.
A very.
Serious.
Mistake.
Forrest looks at Richard
Richard Moneypenny?: Don't move a fucking inch.
Forrest: ....And if I do.
Steph is about to say something
Steph but "What are you gonna do, shoot us?" is like the most famous last words
ever
Richard Moneypenny?: You don't want to find out.
Forrest: No, please.
Richard Moneypenny?: Do you know how much fucking effort I put into this?
Forrest: Tell me what you plan to do to us, in this public institution, filled w
ith all these people.
Steph: It's a pretty, uh... ridiculous con.
Richard Moneypenny: We're in the back rooms, you shithead.
Forrest: Correction.
Richard Moneypenny: Let me be blunt.
Forrest: You're in the back room, I'm standing out here.
Richard Moneypenny: I got a fucking body double.
I put on this stupid fucking makeup.
I set everything up just to make some money.
Forrest: I have to admit, getting the body double was impressive.
Richard Moneypenny: And you decide to shit all over it.
Couldn't have just given me my fifty fucking dollars.
Forrest: I don't understand why you couldn't have just stuck to driving the bus.
Steph: Dude, screw you, I don't even carry money with me.
Richard Moneypenny: I got caught, dumbass!

I don't have a licence!

Forrest: Should have let me pay you, then.
At least then you would have had some of my money.
Richard Moneypenny: But it doesn't matter now.
Empty out your pockets.
I'm taking everything I can.
Forrest: Or you'll do that horrible thing to us, right.
Richard Moneypenny: Don't push it.
I like you, kid.
But don't make me angry.
Steph: No.
Richard Moneypenny: No?
Is that your final answer?
Forrest: I can respect the determination it takes to go to absurd lengths to con
children, but I rather like the change in my pocket.
Steph: I mean, really...
Richard Moneypenny reaches his hand into his dress
Richard Moneypenny: Last chance.
Forrest: Did you really expect people coming to the library to just have fifty d
ollars in their pockets.
Richard Moneypenny: I said, last chance.
Forrest narrows his eyes
Forrest: Alright, then.
Do it.
I want to see how I die.
Steph: ...Jesus Christ.
Richard Moneypenny pulls out a knife, shoves it into Forrest's hand, and then tr
ies to make Forrest stab him
Forrest: ....!
Richard Moneypenny: roll something to not do so
Steph: ...................
Forrest tries shifting his body so his arm is shoved past Richard and not into h
im
Forrest: rolling 3d20 -1
(
9
+
12
+
6
)-1
= 26
Richard Moneypenny: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Brawn
{(
10
+
9
+
4
)}+3
= 12
Richard Moneypenny yanks his hand in so he gets sstabbed
Richard Moneypenny: OH!
AUGH!
AUGH!

Richard Moneypenny begins bolting past them

Forrest: .....
Steph: ...
Richard Moneypenny: HELP, HELP ME!
I'VE BEEN STABBED!!!
Forrest: ....Wow.
That was actually smart.
....
Forrest looks at Steph
Forrest: ...You should go.
Richard Moneypenny: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE, HELP ME!
Steph: That won't work, he saw me.
Forrest: If nobody else does, you're better off.
Richard Moneypenny: IT WAS THAT FAT CUNT KID!
Forrest starts walking towards the door
Richard Moneypenny: HELP!
Steph: Well...
Let's just sort this all out.
Forrest: Gonna be hard.
Richard Moneypenny: His little child protstitue, she helped him!
She held me while he stabbed!
Forrest walks out, hearing this
Forrest: ...Oh, wow. Really?
Richard Moneypenny: Call the police, call 911 now!
Steph follows
Steph: That, um, that's not actually what happened.
Richard Moneypenny: AUGH!
SHE'S COME TO KILL ME!
HELP!
JESUS
PLEASE!
Richard Moneypenny tries rushing past the crowd
Forrest: .....
Steph: ...
Tabitha St. Marie: ... No, sir you can't go mYSTORY!1
Forrest looks at the crowd
Forrest: .....Anybody know where I should put this.
Narrator : Richard is thrown back into the ibrary
And nto Forrest
Forrest HOOF
Steph is just
Tabitha St. Marie: MY STORY!
Steph instantly, utterly regretting sticking around
Tabitha St. Marie: EVERYONE FREEZE.
DON'T CALL THE POLICE.
Forrest: ....Excuse me, if I could say my peace for a mSteph: Do you want an actual, live, eyewitness account?
Tabitha St. Marie: I NEED TO CONDUCT INTERVIEWS!
Steph: I saw the whole thing! So, uh--

Tabitha St. Marie jams the mic in Steph's face

Forrest: Okay, if I can justTabitha St. Marie: What did you see!?
Forrest looks down at Richard
Forrest: ...
Steph: He gave the knife to Forrest and made him stab him!
Forrest: ....You want your knife back?
Richard Moneypenny is grinning up at him, mouthing
Richard Moneypenny: "Fuck you"
Forrest: Yeah, think i'll just...
Forrest sets it down on the nearest table
Steph: See, because, he was mugging us, but we didn't have any money.
Forrest looks at Tabitha
Tabitha St. Marie: What?
WWWWWWWWwhat an insane role reversal!
Forrest: Yeah, he was dressed up like a librarian, asked us for fifty dollars at
the door.
Steph: It's a stupid con, honestly!
Forrest: ...Actually, hang on.
Forrest goes to pull the wig off Richard
Sherwood Cotter: ... I did find it odd, that a librarian asked me for- fifty dol
lars!? I payed on hundred!
Richard Moneypenny has the wig pulled off
Forrest: ...Oh, wow.
Richard Moneypenny: Fuck you, I'm transsexual!
Forrest: He actually DID lower the price for our age.
Richard Moneypenny: Bigot!
Bigot!
Steph: Hey, fuck off!
Forrest: Of course you are-... Here.
Richard Moneypenny: Fucking bigotry!
Forrest shows the wig to Tabitha
Forrest: Evidence.
Tabitha St. Marie snatches it
Steph: Jesus Christ... yeah, look.
Tabitha St. Marie: Good!
Talk more, this is gold!
Steph: He's got a history of these kind of bullshit cons, too.
Forrest: If you look around town, there should be another guy who looks like him
.
Forrest looks down at Richard
Forrest: Wait, should you being busted for that bus shit be on your criminal rec
ord?
Steph: He... owned a fake Chinese restaurant, he ran a fake bus service without
a license...
I bet it would be!
Richard Moneypenny: .... Suck my asshole!
Richard Moneypenny begins trying to escape
Forrest: Yeah, I think we've got a solid defense.
Richard Moneypenny: rolling 1d20

(
3
)
= 3
Richard Moneypenny is clotheslined by the old fat lady
Mac D.: fuck yes
obaasan
Eunice Trn: And stay down... you little devil...
Forrest: ......
Eunice Trn: What a terrible boy...
Forrest looks at Tabitha
Forrest: Okay, can we call the cops now
Tabitha St. Marie: No!
I need more information.
Forrest: ....
Steph: Uh... tell him about the bus.
Forrest: Oh, right.
Steph: *her
Forrest: He stole a bus and pretended to be a bus drive.
Sherwood Cotter: ... Oh, he's trying to escape again
Forrest: He got caught for that, sooo.
Sherwood Cotter just starts smacking the dazed form of Moneypenny, who isn't try
ing to escape
Sherwood Cotter: Aha!
I am stopping this fiendish criminal!
Tabitha St. Marie: I see...
Anything else?
Forrest: Well.....
She mentioned the restaurant.
And you have the wig.
I guess if you wanted more evidence, you could get that dress off him.
Tabitha St. Marie begins trying to snap a picture of this while Forrest talks
Tabitha St. Marie: How about the stabbing?
Forrest: Oh. He shoved a knife in my hands and shoved my arm into his chest.
Tabitha St. Marie: Ohhhh....
Alright, you can call the police, whatever...
Forrest: Alllllright.
Tabitha St. Marie begins basically beating Moneypenny with a mike, asking him qu
estions
Forrest NINE WUN WUN or whatever the fuck it is in your frozen wasteland of a co
untry
Tabitha St. Marie: it's 911
Steph: ((Uh... Forest, we might want to go after the police get here.)
Forrest nine wun wun it is then
Forrest: .....I guess we can find some other place to read.
Narrator : Eventually the police show up, question everyone, and take Moneypenny
away in custody, acting like this is pretty normal.
Steph: ...Oh.
Forrest watches justice be done
Forrest: ........
Richard Moneypenny: I FUCKING HATE YOU KIDS!!!!
Forrest: ....I get the feeling we'll be seeing him again.

Narrator : The library quickly returns to order.

Forrest: ...Yeah, think I'll just quietly strike this whole thing from the recor
d in what I'm going to tell Mom and Dad what happened today.
Steph: That'd be for the best.
Anton: ...
Are.. two, you all good?
Forrest: ...?
Forrest looks over at Anton
Forrest: Oh, hey.
Steph: Yeah, we're fine now.
Anton: Is good, was a weird thing.
Forrest: Yeah.
Anton: What you come to library for?
Forrest: Oh, I'm looking into the town's history.
Steph nods
Forrest: I'm interested in learning about an explosion that happened near the sc
hool back in the sixties.
Apparently no one ever figured out what caused it.
Anton: Oh, is very spooky, yes?
Steph nods
Steph looks over at Forrest
Forrest: Yeah, so I'm trying to figure out what happened.
Steph: We're-- trying to figure it out.
Anton: I, uh, wish you a good luck in it.
Forrest: ....Oh-...Right, she's helping out.
Steph: Thanks, Anton.
Anton: You not need mention, is fine.
Forrest: Thanks. Don't take any buses driven buy dudes in cuffs.
*by
Anton: I won't.
Anton returns to his seat
Forrest: ....Alright, so. Let's find ourselves a cozy spot.
Forrest looks over at the left side of the building.
Steph: Yeah...
Forrest: ...How about over here.
Tabitha St. Marie sits next to them, hurridly noting things in a little red book
Tabitha St. Marie wears headphones, listenign to recordings
Tabitha St. Marie is generally very busy
Steph: ...Yeah, sure.
Forrest: .....She a reporter?
.....
Tabitha St. Marie hears him past the headpgones
Tabitha St. Marie: Best one in the business!
Forrest: .....Oh.
Steph: She came to our school a while back.
Tabitha St. Marie: I'm Tabitha St. Marie, and if you need something reported, I'
m your gal!
Forrest: Oh, huh. Over what.
Steph: The... disappearances.
Forrest: .....Oh.

Right. Yeah.
Tabitha St. Marie: I wasn't very well recieved, sadly, but don't working, this t
ime I'm getting my permit...
Forrest: ......Oh, so you're freelance.
Tabitha St. Marie: Yes!
Keeps me hungry, and that's what you need to stay alive in the business...
Forrest: ......
Okay, well, good luck on.....whatever you're working on.
Steph seems to have a mild, vague dislike of this woman
Forrest: ...?
Forrest sees the HATRED in steph's eyes.................
Tabitha St. Marie: Your story, of course!
Forrest: ....Oh- Right.
Tabitha St. Marie: You're going to make me a nice story, thanks!
Forrest: ....No problem.
Forrest goes to pull out his BOOKS, looking at Steph
Forrest: Alright, do you want the history book, or the legend book.
Steph: Uh... legends.
Forrest: Alright.
Forrest passes her that book and cracks open the history one
Forrest: Lemmie know if you find anything interesting/
Steph: Ten-four.
Narrator : THE LEGEND OF THE WENDIGO STATES
no
it's not that
Forrest begins to dive deep into this book on a mission to uncover the KNOWLEDGE
WITHIN
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
9
+
19
+
20
)+1
= 49
Steph searches as well, in this fine literature
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
3
+
19
+
2
)}
= 3
Mac D.: steph's knowledge sub is leaky and of poor quality
Space: she gets sidetracked easy
Narrator : i mean
i do't know
what to give forret here
what
specifically
is he looking for

Narrator : Steph gets distracted reading about Wendigos

Mac D.: stuff relating to the explosion, or anything about mysterious bullshit i
n general
Steph: ...Geez...
Forrest: ...?
You find something?
Steph: Wendigos are creepy. Do they have stories about them in America?
Forrest: .......
....Yeah, they do.
Narrator : She also finds folklore about Raven, Bush Indians, the Gguux, The Woo
d Man, etc, etc.
http://www.native-languages.org/ahtna-legends.htm
Steph: A lot of this First Nations folklore is really cool.
Forrest: See anything that remind you of what we saw.
Space: aw
Narrator : Forrest finds, in this tome, finds some interesting accounts of the e
xplosion.
Space: i'm reading about the ahtna
Forrest: ....?
Forrest REED
Space: there's only 500 of them left it says
Steph: No... nothing is jumping out at me.
Forrest: ShhForrest is reading the accounts in-depth
Narrator : "As I woke up, there was this tremendous rumbling, a horrible noise.
I looked up the window, and by God it was a fire, a rumbling fury like I had nev
er seen. The building was nearly demolished, and I don't know what could have po
ssibly caused such an explosion... the noise, the noise was the worst part. It w
as some... I suppose, at the time, I thought it was unearthly[...] roaring, shri
eking, awful sounds."
Forrest: .....
Steph: ?
Steph looks back up at Forrest
Narrator : The building was later demolished, and the school portion of it was r
ebuilt. The other part of the building, was a convent, then a hospital, then sim
ply unused, was abandoned.
Levelled.
Forrest starts copying the text down in his notes, turning the book slightly to
Steph
Forrest: Look at this. Here, and here.
Steph looks, reading it
Steph: ...
That is... a lot more relevant than whatever I was reading.
Tabitha St. Marie: roll mind
Mac D.: just her or both of us
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
11
+
13
+
18
)}
= 13
Tabitha St. Marie: both

Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1

(
18
+
5
+
11
)+1
= 35
Tabitha St. Marie is leaning over Forrest's shoulder, reading along with him
Forrest: ....?
Forrest looks at her
Forrest: ...Excuse me.
Tabitha St. Marie: That's some pretty spooky stuff, huh?
That's a cold case...
Forrest: ....Yeah. Spooky.
Steph: We're, uh.....
Forrest: So I've been told.
Tabitha St. Marie: When you're done with that book, mind letting me take a look.
..?
Steph: Just checking this local stuff out...
Tabitha St. Marie gives big puppydog eyes
Steph: ...
Forrest: ......
...I haven't finished it. I'm going to have to keep it a little longer.
Tabitha St. Marie: When you're done, of course.
Forrest: Right, when I'm done.
Would you let us know when you're about to read over our shoulders next time.
Tabitha St. Marie: There's not fun in it that way.
Forrest: .....
Tabitha St. Marie gives a sly, shit-eating smile
Forrest mildly annoyed expression
Tabitha St. Marie leans back to her own work
Forrest: ...
Forrest looks back at Step
Steph: ...
I don't like this, but...
Forrest: ...?
Steph: ...
I mean, she's a reporter. She has connections.
Tabitha St. Marie: I can hear you.
Steph: Oh my god.
Forrest: Are those things even on.
Tabitha St. Marie: No, I turned them off three minutes ago.
Forrest: ......Shoulda figured the first time....Alright, listen.
We're looking into solving this cold case.
Tabitha St. Marie: And you need some heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllp?
Forrest: ......
Forrest EXHALATION
Forrest: .....Yeah, we wouldn't mind help.
Steph: Yeah...

Tabitha St. Marie scoots a little closer

Tabitha St. Marie: Tell me more.
Forrest: Not much more to tell, we're just interested in solving the mystery of
the explosion.
Steph: Like, if you want to publish it or whatever... we don't even want our nam
es on it, we just want to know the truth.
Forrest: Yeah, credit's yours.
Tabitha St. Marie grins
Tabitha St. Marie: What's mine is yours, what's yours is mine, yeah?
Steph: Yeah, that.
Forrest: ....Yeah.
Tabitha St. Marie: Alright, partners it is...
Forrest: Let's start as "accquaintances" and work our way up, okay
Steph: It's fine if you call it whatever, he's just a grump.
Tabitha St. Marie: I'll tell you anything I learn, you tell me anything you lear
n, we do stupid things together for the story, it'll be marvellous!
Forrest: Please don't land me in prison.
Tabitha St. Marie: No promises.
Steph: It'll be fine, probably.
Forrest: .....
....Fine. Alright, I'd show you the passages we found, but I'm sure you already
read them while we weren't looking/
Tabitha St. Marie: Guilty as charged~
roll mind
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
14
+
17
+
6
)}
= 14
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
12
+
6
+
4
)+1
= 23
Tabitha St. Marie: steph
your notebook is missing
Steph: ...?
Forrest: ....
Steph: Hey, where's-- what the heck?
Tabitha St. Marie: Looking for these?
Forrest looks at Steph
Forrest looks back at Tabitha
Tabitha St. Marie pulls out her notebook and somhow Forrest's, apparently having
nabbed them in like the ten seconds he's been looking away
Steph: Hey, give that back!
Forrest: .........
Steph tries to snatch it away

Forrest: ....Okay, yeah, don't do that anymore.

Tabitha St. Marie let's her take it
Forrest takes his notes back
Tabitha St. Marie grins
Steph so, so so close...
Steph needs to learn to write in code or some shit
Steph quickly stuffs it in her backpack
Forrest: ....But that skill of yours could be extremely useful.
Tabitha St. Marie: Oh, you shouldn't have...
Steph looks really unhappy now, but says nothing
Forrest glances slightly at Steph before looking back at Tabitha
Forrest: ...Alright, we're going to need names of witnesses to the explosion who
're still alive, and blueprints of the school building from 1960 and onward.
Tabitha St. Marie: I'll do what I can do.
Forrest: ....I'm confident you won't disappoint.
Steph: ......
Steph double-checks that her notebook is still there
Tabitha St. Marie: it is
Forrest: I'd like to reiterate the whole "don't land me in prison" thing.
Tabitha St. Marie grins
Tabitha St. Marie quickly packs up her things
Tabitha St. Marie: I'll be seeing you.
Forrest: ....Right.
Steph: Nice talking to you.
Forrest: When can we expect to see you again.
Tabitha St. Marie: Tomorrow, anyway.
I don't know when I'll turn everything up.
Wait...
What day is it...
Forrest: Friday.
Tabitha St. Marie: Oh, shit, well, you'll see me Monday!
Forrest: ....Alright. See you.
Steph: ...
Tabitha St. Marie: Toodaloo!
Tabitha St. Marie rushes out at the speed of sound something something GOTTA FOL
LOW MY RAINBOW
Forrest: ......
Steph: ...Jeez...
That was too close.
Forrest: ....I hope I haven't made a horrible mistake.
Steph: ...What the fuck am I supposed to do if, like, someone grabs my notebook?
Forrest: ....
Forrest looks at her
Forrest: ....You could keep it on your person as often as you can.
Steph: That's what I do already.
Forrest: Well, I mean holding it.
You could also just leave it at home locked away someplace.

You know, like a diary.

Steph: What if I need it?
Forrest: You could write things down as you go and staple the pages in your jour
nal when you get home.
Idunno, I'm just spitballing here.
Steph: Where would I get the paper from?
Forrest: I doubt many people are as good at swiping things as she is, though.
.....Oh-...
Why not chain it to yourself.
Steph: That's some fuckin', like, goth crap right there.
Forrest: Do you want to not look kind of silly or do you want to make absolutely
sure your notebook can't get swiped.
Steph: It'd just raise eyebrows. People'd wonder what I've got that's so importa
nt, so it'd be the first thing they'd go for.
Forrest: Least you'd see them coming.
Or feel them coming.
Steph: I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.
My backpack's safe.
Forrest: Alright, whatever floats your boat.
More importantly, what do you think about what we found.
Steph: We didn't find a whole lot. At least not anything groundbreaking. It's sp
ooky stuff, but we already had that idea.
Forrest: I want to learn more about that other half our building's apparently mi
ssing.
Steph: There's, like, the part of school that no one uses anymore. Maybe that's
related too.
Forrest: .....There's an abandoned section of the school.
Like, literally.
Steph: You've been there before.
Forrest: ....Well then, I know where I'm going back to.
Steph: Well, don't do it today.
Forrest: What's the matter, losing steam.
Steph: I don't know where everyone lives. Just, like, Gabby and Jaime.
Forrest: ......?
What's that got to do with it.
Steph: I don't think we should go there with just the two of us.
Forrest: ......Okay, hang on. Are we talking about an abandoned part of school,
or that school.
.....
Forrest forrest remembers something
Forrest: ......
Forrest looks around from where he's planted for Ms. Lao
Steph: You go to one to get to the other. That's, like, what I'm saying.
Forrest: .....There a portal there, or something?
I thought it just randomly happened.
Steph: I don't know how it works, okay?
You wanna go there?
Forrest: Hang on...
Forrest is still scanning for the Lao
Tabitha St. Marie: shes there
Forrest: ......
...Hm.
Steph: What?
Forrest: ...Nothing. Let's go.
Forrest gets up from where he's sitting

Steph gets up, putting her backpack on

Forrest puts his books away and exits the liburry
Steph follows the forrest
Forrest: Alright, make your decision, we checking out the abandoned bit or not.
Steph: Let's go.
Forrest: Alright then.
Forrest starts making his way BACK TO SCHOOLGROUNDS
Steph walks after 'im
Mac D.: one steph
two steph
Space: look duff
it's the lunatic
i circled him for your convenience
Mac D.: ohhhhhh nooooooooooo
Space: i forget
does forrest know about him
Mac D.: he does not
lunatic was before his time
Space: do YOU know about lunatic
Mac D.: a liiiitle bit?
Space: nyeyeyeheheheheeehehehehe
Mac D.: seer on a scale of one to ten how dead are you
Space: hey duff listen to my music until seer gets back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a39YktBYSbU
Mac D.: what is this shot-on-shiteo nonsense
Space: that's like a fake music video
its also like the only youtube video with this song
Mac D.: damn
Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHw7gdJ14uQ here
Narrator : On the way to school, they walk into thw two doctors, again!
Steph: ...Oh!
Dr. Venter: Oh!
Forrest: ....?
Dr. Venter: Graham, look!
Forrest remembers these two old biddies talking about HALL
Dr. Venter: God, are you alright, child?
Dr. Graham awkwardly stands there
Forrest looks at Venter harangue Steph
Steph: Uh-- yes, thanks. Um... no, everything's going fine right now.
Dr. Graham: ... That's good...
Forrest: ...
Dr. Venter: We were terribly worried, with that thuggish cop and that degenerate
racist, we feared the worst.
Forrest: .........
Forrest what kind of felon IS this girl
Steph: What about you guys? We, ah, didn't really get a chance to catch up after
...
Uh, I forget, have you met Forrest? He's new.
Forrest: Hi.
Dr. Venter: Oh, hello, young man!
I am Dr. Venter, this is my friend, Dr. Graham.
Forrest: Nice to meet you both.

Dr. Graham nods, stiffly

Dr. Venter: We got out unscathed, thank goodness...
We haven't seen either of those animals since....
Forrest: ...........
....I'm a little out of the loop here, what happened.
Steph: It's a long...ish story. You remember that guy? Richard Moneypenny?
Forrest: The guy who tried to frame me for murder an hour ago, yeah I saw him.
Steph: Yeah, him.
Dr. Venter: ...
Steph: Um... that should really tell you all you need to know, honestly.
Forrest: ...Think I'll just fill in the blanks, yeah.
Dr. Venter: ... You poor, poor children...
Steph: ...Uhm.... These two are kinda helping us out.
Forrest: I see.
Dr. Venter: Yes, if you need anything, we are right behind you!
Forrest: Right, yeah.
.......
......Can I ask you about someone.
Steph: ...?
Dr. Venter: Oh, me? Sure
Forrest: Doctor Hall.
Dr. Venter: Oh, him...
Dr. Graham: We're not on good terms.
Forrest: I overheard the two of you talking about him in the library yesterday.
Dr. Graham: Then I believe you understand the nature of our relationship.
Forrest: He was having some sort of heated discussion with our principle today,
as well.
Steph: What's his... um, deal? Do you guys know?
Forrest: Does he have some sort of reputation.
Dr. Graham: HDr. Venter: He is a sick man! He derives pleasure from seeing people squirm!
Steph nods
Dr. Venter: He is a sham therapist, he does not seek to better the human conditi
on, simply to revel in all its faults.
Forrest: ...
Forrest looks at Dr. Graham
Steph: Yeah, that's... that's the truest thing I've heard all day, honestly.
Forrest: ...Has he been....accused of anything.
Anything criminal, I mean.
Dr. Graham: ... Yes, actually, he could be prosecuted for an unrelated aspect of
his career.
Forrest: ...What is that.
Dr. Graham: Somehow, despite technically being a practicing therapist, under the
employ of the British Columbian District of Health, he is on the local Board of
Health, the overseeing committee for the region of Belmont. This is not allowed
, and yet he holds his position.
Steph: ...
Forrest: ....I see.
Steph quickly fishes out her notebook
Forrest: I wonder how he manages that.
Dr. Graham: It is clear that there is some for of illegal coercion going on, and
I am hesitant to bring it to any authority, on the chance that his influence sp
reads farther than that.
Steph: The board of health....
Forrest: ...Hang on.
Steph: ...Shit.

Steph scrawls something quickly in there, then places it back in her backpack
Dr. Graham: ... What...?
Forrest scribbles out some notes of his own, then looks at Steh
Steph: The Board of Health is... I think there might be something there.
Dr. Graham: ruddman's on the board of health too, remember, steph
Steph: I'm not sure if we should be talking about this out in the open.
Forrest: .....
...We could head to one of our houses.
Talk there.
Dr. Graham: It's fine, we're not in some Orwellian world, I see no problm in tal
king here.
Forrest: Better safe than sorry.
Steph clearly looks uncomfortable w-Steph: ...Is that...?
Forrest: What.
Steph: Hey, wait!
Forrest: .....?
Steph goes after the lunatic
Forrest: .....Wait where are you......Okay, she's gone.
......
Forrest moves at a casual pace after her
Space: the chill walk
Lunatic stares at them, brandishes his baseball bat
Forrest: You wanna explain what that was about.
Lunatic: ...
Steph: Wait! Wait...
Forrest looks over Steph's shoulder
Steph: Easy, easy... you helped me out. There's no need for that, okay? I won't
come any closer.
Forrest: Who's this guy.
Lunatic: Not now.... GRMMRRGH.... WASTING MY TIME!
Forrest: ....
Lunatic turns
Lunatic every step is just a lurch forward, as if his body does not want to move
Steph: (Motherfuck...)
Please! I need to talk to you!
Forrest: ....Are we going to- Okay
Lunatic: WASTING MY TIME!
I'LL KILL YOU!
Steph: .......
Lunatic begins shrieking and howling, waving his bat around
Forrest: .....Hey, woah. Okay, now.
Steph: Okay, okay, that's enough of that!
Dr. Venter: Get away from him, kids!
Forrest: Don't wave that thing around like that, you're gonna bean somebody.
Lunatic is just acting like a territorial animal
Steph: (Jesus H. Christ...)

Lunatic snarls
Steph: Okay, Forrest, I don't think he wants to talk!
Forrest: What tipped you off, the screaming or the bat-waving.
Steph: This is really not the time!
Lunatic bolts off when they begin talking to each other
Forrest: ...Uhp.
Steph: Come on, let's just let him-...Oh.
Forrest: ....Wonder what he was in such a hurry for.
Space: theres two stephs
Mac D.: i told u
Space: goodbye steph
Mac D.: one steph
two steph
Vlad is looking down the alley at them
Forrest: Maybe he was off his tits on something.
...?
Steph: ......
Forrest looks down the alley
Vlad: What the fuck.
Forrest: ...Oh, you.
Don't mind us.
Steph: Oh my goooooood!
Vlad: The fuck is wrong with you people.
Steph is just exasperated at this point
Forrest looks back at the others
Steph: Okay, whatever. I don't even -- I don't even care, at this point.
Forrest: ...Okay, so we were talking about crashing at somebody's place.
Steph: Yeah, screw it. Sure.
Dr. Venter: Oh, we can't!
Forrest: What's wrong, you busy with something.
Dr. Venter: Yes, actually.
We both work odd hours.
Forrest: Oh. Okay.
Steph: Okay, can I just get your phone numbers or something?
Dr. Venter: Sure, sure!
Dr. Venter exchanges number with them, as does Graham
Forrest nod
Steph initiates number-exchanging procedure
Steph: Okay, thanks.
Dr. Venter: Remember, we're behind you!
Forrest: Gotcha. Thanks.
Steph: We really appreciate it.
Dr. Graham: Good day.
Space: this song is nice
Steph: ...Okay, what now.
Forrest: Well, you can start by telling me what the issue is with the Board of H
ealth.
Steph: You know those snake guys?
Forrest: Snake cult, yes.
Steph: Their boss is on the board.
Forrest: ....

Forrest writes THAAAAAT down

Space: brb for a sec
Forrest: ....What exactly does the Board of Health dictate in this town.
Steph: Oh, I have no idea. I'm sure that the doctors know and stuff.
Space: seer no...
Mac D.: seer yes
eldritch s. (GM): https://www.sog.unc.edu/resources/faqs/what-does-local-board-h
ealth-do
Forrest: .....We probably should ask them soon as we can.
eldritch s. (GM): only replace
county
with
"health region"
Steph: Yeah.
...
Forrest: ...
eldritch s. (GM): now kiss
Steph: Do you have any money?
Forrest: ....?
Forrest checks his pockets
Forrest: ...I've got, like.....twelve bucks, why.
Steph: I'm hungry.
Forrest: ........
....Are you bumming a meal off me.
Steph: C'mon, I'll pay you back.
Forrest: ..........
.....Alright, fine.
Where can we go on a twelve-dollar budget.
Steph: I dunno, McDonald's or something.
Forrest: Alright, then.
Forrest goes to look for the cheapiest piece o shit he can find
eldritch s. (GM): McDonalds is there
Forrest WE GOING TO MICKEY DEES
Steph aaaw yeh
Narrator : ew
mcdonalds is gross
Forrest: what a shame if only i had more money
Narrator : poor people
Steph and Forrest buy a meal at McDonalds, the cashier is some sunglasses clad t
een, one who is legit just fucking smoking at the counter.
Forrest: Okay, thanks.
Lucy: Eyyy, don't worry 'bout it.
Forrest gets OUTTA THERE and goes to sit on a bench
Narrator : He sits on a bench.
Steph: ...
Narrator : Shits on one too
Steph sits on the bench as well
Steph: ew
Forrest bought himself some gatdam chickie nuggs and fries
Steph got a burg

Steph and a coca-cola

Narrator : steph you have trash taste in pop
Steph: :c
Forrest dips a nug in honey mustard and eats
Narrator : oh
i thought
you sai
normal mustard
i was about to say something
Mac D.: yeah i bet you did
Space: haha
Forrest: ....
Steph: This is...
I mean, it's okay.
Thanks.
Forrest: That's what twelve dollars gets you/
Steph: It's better than no dollars.
Forrest munchmunchmunch
Steph: How are you liking Canada, anyways?
Forrest: Well, I certainly have a lot more to do here than I did back at my old
hometown.
Steph: Not just that... I mean our culture, and our way of life.
Forrest: I have noticed absolutely no difference.
Steph: Here in Canada, it's just a nice place to be.
...I don't know why, I'm just feeling nationalistic all of a sudden.
Forrest: It's probably that male choir down the street.
Steph: Like this... sudden upswell of patriotic pride.
Where?
Forrest: Over there
Steph looks
Steph: Oh, those guys.
That's probably it.
Forrest: Yeah.
Forrest eats with that same tired face he always has
Steph: ...
Forrest: You should see Jersey sometime.
We got one of those con man guys on every block.
Steph: That must be, like... literal actual hell.
Narrator : an endless supply of richard moneypenny
Forrest: You learn how to deal with them
Steph: Do they all have knives?
Forrest: Most of them had handguns.
Of course, they usually kept their hands off them in my neighborhood.
Forrest bites into a new nugget
Steph: Why's that an 'of course' thing?
Forrest: Well, my neighborhood was the exception. Had to be more careful when I
left it.
Steph: Did you ever have to have a gun?
Forrest: We have a couple, but I've never touched them.
Steph: Oh... so you don't know how to shoot them?
Forrest: Nope. My Mom asks if I ever wanted to learn, like, once a year, though.
Steph: I have one at home. One of the snake guys dropped his.
Forrest: ........You pulled a gun off the street.
Steph: Arrows didn't work on him, I had to improvise.
This was before we had the-- you know, the whole thing.

Forrest: ...Right, I get you.

Why'd you keep it.
Steph: It was just a sort of... reflex thing, we had to get out of there fast.
Forrest: I see.
You should probably find a place to get rid of it. You don't want to be caught w
ith it.
Steph: What if I get caught while I'm trying to get rid of it?
Forrest: Well then that's just shit luck.
Steph: It'd be shit luck either way it happened.
Forrest: I'm sure you can turn it into authorities or something.
Steph: You, uh, you really shouldn't trust the cops.
Forrest: Better yet, hand it off to my Mom. She'll know what do with it.
Steph: Where's your mom?
Forrest: Idunno, probably still at work, doing who-knows-what.
Steph: What time does she get off? We could go right now.
Forrest: Uh.....She might be home by now, I'm not sure.
Steph: Just call her or something, dude.
Forrest: .....Right. Duh.
Forrest pulls out his phone and gives Mum a call
Loren Freeman: Hello, Forrest!
How's my little boy doing?
Forrest: Hey, Mom. I'm doing good....Listen, are you home right now?
Loren Freeman: Oh, no, sorry, Forrest, I'm going to be pulling an all-nighter to
night.
Forrest: ..Ah, okay.
Be safe. Sorry about that.
Loren Freeman: Oh, don't worry, Forrest, I'm just happy you called.
Forrest: ............
Loren Freeman: Love you, Forrest.
Forrest: .........Love you too, bye.
Forrest hangs up
Steph is giving Forrest a knowing look
Forrest isn't looking
Steph: Awww.
Forrest: .....What.
Steph: Nothing!~
Forrest: ....
Forrest annoyed look
Forrest: ....It's no good. She's gonna be working all night tonight.
Steph: That's too bad. Maybe some other time.
Forrest: I'll tell her about it next chance I get.
Steph: How are you gonna do that? "Hey, this girl in my class needs to ditch a s
tolen firearm?"
Forrest: I'll tell her we found it just lying on the street
Steph: Well, that's true.
Forrest: I wasn't involved.
Forrest DELICIOUS CHICKEN FLESH
Steph smiles, before sipping the coca-cola
Steph: Okay, so what's next on the Scooby Doo agenda?
Forrest: ....
Forrest annoyed look again
Forrest: Well, we still haven't checked the abandoned part of school.

Steph: Okay, lemme finish my soda.

Forrest: Mm.
Forrest num num num
Steph siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip
Forrest: ........
Steph continues in that fashion in silence
Forrest: ......You really should have left the library when that happened.
Steph: Why? It worked out pretty okay.
Forrest: Still. Worst case scenario would have been only I would have been arres
ted.
Steph: Yeah, and what happens when he tells the cops that I was there, too?
Forrest: Well, you wouldn't have left much evidence of that, depending on how go
od you were at getting out of there.
Only my hands were on the knife, after all.
Steph: Sure, but... that wouldn't have been very friendly to a newcomer!
Besides... I'll bet you a buck fifty you'd do the same thing for me.
Forrest: There's a difference between you and me, though.
Steph: What's the difference?
Forrest: You have a life worth living out of jail.
Forrest closes up his nugget box and stands up
Steph: ...
Forrest: ...Alright, you don with your drink?
Steph: ...Yeah! Yeah, I'm done.
Um, thanks again.
Forrest: I'm going to hound you until you get me that money back.
Steph goes to toss her beverage in the disposal unit
Forrest tosses his box away as well
Steph: Good, that way I won't forget. Lead the way.
Forrest: Alright, then.
Forrest starts HEADIN FOR THE SCHOOL
Narrator : They head to the disused part of the school, specifically the old sha
ck attached to it, in that small, narrow area with pipes and shit.
Forrest: oh hello literally everyone
Steph: Okay.
Forrest: Do they still use this place for storage?
Narrator : roll mind for that answer, steph
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
13
+
1
+
20
)}
= 13
Narrator : Yeah, you've seen Foxhole go in and out of here sometimes when they n
eed shit.
Steph: Yeah, uh... a few times.
Forrest: Figures, what else would you use it for if you weren't gonna knock it d
own.
You've been here before, right? How thoroughly did you search it.
....?
Narrator : It's raining outside.

Forrest: .....Ah, great.

Steph: Not... super thorough.
Forrest: First thing on the list to find: umbrellas.
Steph: ...
Forrest: Alright....Let's look around, see if we find anything of interest.
Steph: You got it.
...
Forrest: .....
Forrest looks at her
Forrest: What's up.
Steph: Nothing, I'm looking.
Forrest: .....
Steph goes to look around
Forrest starts the comb the area
Narrator : It's a pretty normal, disused storage area.
Roll mind.
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
13
+
12
+
3
)+1
= 29
Narrator : steph you bitch
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
13
+
13
+
2
)}
= 13
Narrator : Forrest notices that the green metal door seems... unusually corroded
Forrest: .....
Narrator : And Steph finds a package, sandwiched under a box
Steph: ...?
Narrator : Through the door lies the boiler room.
Forrest: ......
Narrator : Well, an old one.
Steph pulls it out
Narrator : Not one in used anymore.
*use
Forrest: ....Take a look at the door over here.
Narrator : It is labelled "For Jamie"
Steph: Hold on a second...
Forrest: ...?
You find something?
Steph: Yeah, it's for Foxhole.
Forrest: .....?
Forrest walks over
Steph: Come look at this.

Steph is the package such that it could be opened and no one would notice
Narrator : It hasn't been here long.
It's like wrapped in brown paper with tape and shit, no
Forrest: ...Looks like it was put here recently.
Steph: Yeah.
What should we do?
Forrest: Open it, duh.
Steph: ...Okay.
Steph moves to cautiously open it
Narrator : It's full of money.
Forrest: .......
Forrest looks at Steph
Steph: ...
This is...
What the hell is this?
Forrest: .....Payment.
The question is, for what.
Steph: Drugs. Or something shady.
It's got to be, right? I mean, look at all this.
Forrest: Could be.
He could also just be selling porno mags or something.
Steph: Well, I'm pretty sure Vlad gave this to him.
Forrest: Whatever it is, he clearly wants it hidden.
What makes you say that?
Steph: 'Cause I saw him just straight-up blatantly give it to him.
Forrest: Money?
Steph: This box. Or one like it.
Steph tries to cautiously put it back together
Forrest: ....I see.
....Let's keep the package.
Narrator : finesse
Forrest: We'll take it to Foxhole or Vlad, whoever we find first.
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
10
+
4
+
1
)}+1
= 5
Yeah, this... this isn't working.
Narrator : She fucks it up, it looks wrong.
Steph: Look, there's nothing tying this to Vlad. He can just claim 'Oh, I don't
know what the shit.'
But, like, Foxhole is good friends with Moneypenny. Maybe they're both into some
dangerous crap, and they'll shoot us or something.
Forrest: .......All this information would have been useful earlier.
Forrest jots down NOETS
Steph: ...What the fuck.
What was that?
Forrest: What was what.
Steph: You didn't hear that?
Forrest: Hear what, I was writing.
Steph just shoves the packet into her backpack, grabbing her notebook

Forrest looks at her

Steph: ...
Steph mouths 'Don't move'
Forrest: ........
Steph: .........
Forrest: ....................
Lunatic: YOU... CAN'T....
I NEED TO FIND IT, I
Steph mouths 'We have to go'
Forrest: .....
Steph tries to quietly sneak her way out
Iblis grabs his throat
Iblis: One too many times.
Forrest tries to glance back at what's behind him
Iblis: You called Him.
Now I shall exact payment.
Forrest: .......
Forrest very quickly joins Steph in the sneaking
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
4
+
5
+
1
)}+1
= 5
Space: nooOOOOo
Forrest: .....
Iblis turns to look at then
Steph: Shit!
Steph up and bolts
Forrest: ....Ahhh-..Great.
Forrest runs after her
Iblis gives the neck one last suqeeze
Iblis watches them run
Steph bolts out the door an outside
Forrest follows quickly behin
Iblis: i'm lazy
Steph doesn't stop running until they're clear away from the school
Steph rests against the wall for a moment
Forrest eventually comes to a stop and hunches over, heavily panting and coughin
g

Steph: Hhh... god fucking damn it.

Forrest: I....-WHEEZE-....Wasn't built.....-WHEEZE-....for this olympics shit...
..-WHEEZE-...
Steph: Dude... you're alive. Be thankful.
Holy shit...
Steph deeply exhales
Forrest: Uh huh, yeah.
Forrest eventually catches his breath
Narrator : Iblis probably crushed that man's neck.
Forrest: Well.....so much for THAT guy...
Steph: He saved my life.
He got -- he got the cop away from me long enough to run. Back when all of this
started.
Forrest: He seemed not all that fond of you earlier today.
Steph: He was crazy. He attacked the school....
...Now we'll never know who he was.
Forrest: ....Well, I mean...The body could still be there.
Steph: I'm not going back.
Forrest: .....
....You held onto that package, right.
Steph: It's in my backpack.
Forrest: Okay, least we got that.
.......
....The door to the boiler room, there.
It was corroded.
Like, seriously eaten away.
Steph: ...
Forrest: .......
...I'm going to have to go back there sooner or later.
Steph: Yeah.
Not now.
Forrest: Yeah, not with the insane demon hanging around.
.....God, I'm soaked.
Steph: It rains a lot here.
Forrest: Yeah, thanks.
.....We just gonna stand out here in the rain, or.
Steph: Okay, where do you want to go?
Forrest: What is open and closest and dryest.
Forrest goes to THAT place
Narrator : The library.
Steph follows
Forrest: Full circle, how about that.
Narrator : hurry it along, mein gott
Forrest walks over under the archway
Forrest has a sit
Steph sits down across from him
Forrest: .....
Steph: .....
Forrest: .....Wonder when it'll let up.
Steph: We might be stuck here.
I mean, if you mind the rain.
Forrest: Never liked it.
Steph: I like rainstorms.

Forrest: Can't stand them.

......
.....Do we have each other's cell numbers.
Steph: Uh...
Steph checks
Steph: Yyyyeah.
Forrest: ....I forgot when we exchanged them.
Steph: Like, at lunch.
Forrest: ....Oh-...Right, I remember now.
.....
Saw Ms. Lao here again.
Steph: ...
How was she?
Forrest: Pretty sure how you would expect.
Steph: Oh.
Forrest: .....I was curious if I'd see her here again, today.
Steph: Does she just come here a lot?
Forrest: Hell if I know, I've only been here twice.
....How many days has been out of school, so far.
*has she
Steph: I don't know... a good amount.
Forrest: In a row?
Steph: Yeah.
Forrest: .....
....Town's just full of fuckin' mysteries, isn't it.
Steph nod nod nod quickly
Steph: It's fucked up.
Forrest: .....Well.
Just means I'm going to be busy for a while.
Steph: I'm really glad that you're, like...
Committed to this.
Forrest: You kidding. This is the most exciting life's ever been for me.
Steph: Not a whole lot of people would like... y'know, this kind of exciting.
Forrest: This is exactly what I wanted.
Steph: Well, then it's a good thing you guys moved here.
Forrest: Yeah.
.......
.....What do you think of this Third Heaven business.
Steph: I don't want to come up with anything concrete yet. It's...
We barely know anything as it stands.
Forrest: You're not wrong.
Still, the hypothetical is interesting.
A door to Paradise, where all your wishes come true..
Steph: I don't have any wishes.
Forrest: That so.
Steph: Yeah, that's so.
Forrest: Guess that means you're already in Paradise.
Steph: ...
Forrest: ....To be honest, and no offense, but something like that seems....dull
.
Steph: Dull?
Forrest: Yeah. Where's the passion in a life without want of anything.
Steph: I don't know. It... the passion is in getting there, or something.
Forrest: Yeah, so why live in a world were you already have it all.
Steph shrugs
Steph: ...I think it's more important to...
Get answers. Or just to get all of this to end.

Forrest: That's where I find my passion. Answers.

There's a thrill to discovering the truth about something, good or bad.
Steph: Well, as long as we keep doing what we're doing, then I have a feeling th
at we'll find your passion.
Forrest: ....Yeah....(and then).....
Narrator : calling it
Space: good sesh
Mac D.: seer must be dying horribly
Space: oh dear
it's the Void again
Mac D.: d e a t h
Space: there's the high roller
Lunatic 's neck is crushed, their limp corpse lies on the floor, in a pool of bl
ood
Lunatic thrashes back into life
Lunatic will not die
Lunatic: ... FIND.... IT....
KILL... IT...
STOP...
Lunatic devolves into bestial, gutteral sounds
Mac D.: GOOD SESH
Space: that poor fucker
Narrator : any thoughts on what in particular happened
Mac D.: INTRIGUE AND MYSTERY
Space: i think that
lunatic just gets progressively more fucked in the head the more he dies
probably the money is drug money
Mac D.: i think that lunatic is being animated or controlled by some outside for
ce
my bet is that the money's porn money
Space: complete spitballing: maybe mu is getting more control over the lunatic t
he more times he brings the lunatic back to life
Mac D.: i feel like even after spending an entire day together steph and forrest
's relationship has not advanced an inch
Space: duff you missed this but after the lunatic attacked the school there was
a scene that none of the characters saw, where he like crumbled into ash after a
sking for mu to lend him power or somesuch
Narrator : no
he never
turned to ash
he just fell to the ground
Space: shit did he just die
damn
Mac D.: interesting
forrest will not die
Space: where on earth did i get that ash from
Mac D.: not until he gets his twelve dollars back
Narrator : i said he crumpled to the ground, maybe you mistook that to crumbled
Space: oh yeah i think that's it
Narrator : a lot happened in that session
Mac D.: i loved it
Narrator : i'll have to give gabby and jaime a grand old adventure
Mac D.: this is without a doubt my favorite roll20 atm
i just picture steph laughing like a noblewoman going "i grow bored, FEED ME, fo
rrest"
Space: new goal for steph: acquire free food from as many characters as possible

over the course of this campaign

Narrator : what do you think foxhole and lachance were talking about
Space: romance
Forrest approaches steph's house with a nail-studded baseball bat
Narrator : imagine those two like on a date, someone would get shanked
Mac D.: romance and/or perhaps stories of the old days....
when they too were Heaven's Heroes
Space: is that like hogans heroes
Forrest: so, uh, steph
Narrator : only with mr mu
Forrest: where the fuck's my money
Steph: this is a nice song
Forrest: on the next episode steph gets me my fucking money or her legs get brok
en
ain't that right STEPH
Steph: i got your money
right here
Steph whips out a 9mil
Forrest: aaaaaaAAAAAAAH
Forrest KRAKK
Steph: YIPPIE KAY AY MOTHERFUCKERRR
Steph BAM BAM BAM
Space: i forget
does duff know what happens if a PC dies
Forrest: I WILL NOT DIE UNTIL YOUR DEBT IS REPAID
Mac D.: is it like a doo
*dojo
don't you say a fuckin word
Space: i don't have to
Mac D.: or is it like SMTIV
Narrator : no
mu will offer to revive them
and i'll roll a die to see how badly he fucks it up
Mac D.: where you're in line to get on Charon's boat and he's like "fuck it i do
n't want to deal with this fucking paperwork bribe me and you can go back"
oh shit
what are fuckups in the revival process like
Narrator : like gain minus one to a stat
Space: i think we've seen one already
Narrator : gain plus one
we might work to find a new token for them if you deign to
Mac D.: forrest would probably just straight-up say nah
Narrator : and also ~other consquences~
oh he's not offering the dead one
he's offering their living companions
Mac D.: oh deary me
Steph: don't forget
you're here forever
Narrator : naomi
Mac D.: forrest would be very bitter at whoever revived him
Narrator : you still need to make the call
Steph: yes
Narrator : what are your pcs leaning on
Space: steph's going to say yes i think
she feels deeply responsible for naomi's death
Mac D.: forrest is definitely against the idea

because he doesn't like the idea of bringing back someone potentially super fuck
ed up
Steph: you just don't like it when people are living
do you
forrest
you goddamn murderer
Forrest: she came back without fucking limbs steph
she was screaming to be killed again what is wrong with you
Narrator : what do you think will happen if she is revived
Mac D.: knowing our luck: the worst shit possible
does the revived remember being dea
Narrator : i am looking at her revived self now
yes
because he just
Space: no face
Narrator : grabs their soul
Mac D.: oh okay so forrest would not be pleased
Narrator : and crudely jumbles together a body
Forrest: which one of you assholes did it this time
Space: what is being dead like
Forrest: steph when i say "don't bring me back this time"
WHAT do you think that means
Narrator : you get trapped outside of the third heaven
in tartarus
Mac D.: is it an unpleasant experience
Narrator : with billions, literal billions of other wailing souls
trying to get in
yeah it's incredibly unpleasant
Mac D.: forrest is just sitting in the back of the crowd like
Forrest: seriously guys can you calm the fuck down
i'm trying to read here
Narrator : sometimes nihilists grab the souls
and drag them into cocytus
Forrest: oh that must be fun
Narrator : it's just great
Forrest: can't wait to see what that shit's like
Mac D.: do you fully expect one of us to die over the course of this game
Narrator : it's possible
i won't
go out of my way
but there's a plan
Mac D.: i c
Narrator : there are
a lot of mysterious
Mac D.: so how potentially crude a body reconstruction are we talking about here
Narrator : things
like if you want
we'll find a new freaky token for your pc
and it varies
Space: how would they be able to
Narrator : sometines mu gets it pretty right
Space: like go around in society
Narrator : or better
oh, theyd have a challenge
Mac D.: if you get resurrected in a horrible shit body can you be like "nah we a
in't doing this"
Narrator : mu would probably like devise a method
Mac D.: "kill me, mu try again"
Narrator : yeah, but you risk my botching it worse
*mu

Space: he tapes a cardboard cutout of their face

Mac D.: does it get more and more difficult for him to reconstruct a body with e
very consecutive death
Narrator : yes
and bits of the soul get lost along the way
and he has to
improvise
Mac D.: ew
Space: he tries his best
Narrator : and all he has in a spiritual sense are archetypes
so he just
mashes bits of their archetype in, in places of the lost pieces of soul
Mac D.: what does that mean for the revived
Narrator : it means their actions become more irrationally linked to their arche
type
and not following it exactly becomes difficult
Mac D.: oh dear
mu's a bit of a cunt iint e
Narrator : no he's just unable to do anything else
i mean if he put your soul in and it's incomplete
Mac D.: "DO NOT WORRY CHILD, I WILL BE GENTLE"
Narrator : you'd be effectively lobotomized
Mac D.: [loud smashing and hammering noises]
i love how he just
Narrator : you try to revive a dead person
Mac D.: takes them out of death, without their consent.
and violently smashes them into a new body
Narrator : it's not his job to get consent, it's his job to open the third heave
n
that's not the mask of a man who asks
he just
j-j-j-jams it in
Steph: i'm hiding
Forrest: oh god gabby you have arms for eyes
oh god jaime you have FEET FOR HANDS AND SEVENTEEN NOSES
OH GOD STEPH YOU HAVE A P-oh wait
Steph: rude and offensive
Forrest: yeah see how fuckin like being brought back in a shit body
Steph: better than dying
come on
hide in my 'no mu allowed' fort
Forrest: why we watching this guy masturbate
Steph: it gives us answers
to the truth
Forrest: i don't see truth here
Steph: sometimes
the truth is not always evident
Narrator : what
who is masturbating
Forrest: you are
Space: mu
no
Narrator : is shadow penis
Space: the narrator
vincent price
Narrator : no
Space: i just like the mental image
of steph and forrest like hiding in a box fort
that says "NO MU ALLOWED"
Forrest: we ain't lettin you bring us back from the dead

Steph: i am
i'm horrified of death
Forrest: get OUT OF THE FORT
Narrator : http://en.inkei.net/Mu
why
does that site
even exist
i mean i love it
but why
Mac D.: science is all about finding answers
Steph: the fantastic kitty
Forrest: why did you invite me to stare at mr mu's penis
Steph: re
se
ar
ch
Mac D.: time for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEe
to go to BEEEEEEED
because it's 5:30 IN THE MOOOOOOOOORNING
Steph: chump
Space: i knew you were here
eldritch s. (GM): rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Mind
{(
12
+
20
+
14
)}+3
= 17
Space: why did you roll mind just then
eldritch s. (GM): for moneypenny in the fg
Space: oh my gosh
health
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Space: one who falls to ruin
eldritch s. (GM): yes
Space: i like how third heaven sort of has developed its own aestheticc
eldritch s. (GM): what is that
Space: just like
all of these tokens
look hird heaven-y
that's the only way to explain it
eldritch s. (GM): the board of health
four
gray haired
white men
Space: old men sitting in a dark room and running the show
eldritch s. (GM): they're seele
there are 6 members of the board
6, in christian numerology, typically signifies imperfection
Space: i don't trust them
except for aybe larry
eldritch s. (GM): sideburns
Steph: he looks like a gonzo journalist
eldritch s. (GM): look at fucking tom
Steph: he looks
fucking
absolutely
evil

eldritch s. (GM): look at his fucking eyes

Tom Jones: No, there will be no adjustments to the budget.
That money is well-spent in the executive pension fund...
Space: that's pretty shifty right there
Tom Jones: Yes, yes!
Give into your hatred...
Space: "i AM the board of health"
Tom Jones: Stephanie Karloman...
You will witness the full power of the Dark Side of the Archetypes!
Steph: no... ill never join you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XJjMwMFF5g
Tom Jones: this is the board of health's theme
just absurdly evil
Steph: do you
Tom Jones: for a petty
Steph: wnat it on soundcloud
Tom Jones: organization
i have it
Steph: oh good
Tom Jones: it's on
Steph: this is
beautiful
Space: this plays
whenever they're talking about the budget
Larry Shotterman: Tom, what the fuck are you doing with the hood on.
Tom Jones: It is necessary... to influence the dark forces of the Ministry of He
alth.
Harry Browning: I just want to go home.
Victor Sherrings: ... Me too.
Tom Jones: Silence.
Steph: so when do i get a lightsbaer
eldritch s. (GM): you don't
only those of the hero archetype get a lightsaber
Steph: a related question
when will we unlock the 4rd trait
*3rd
eldritch s. (GM): that will happen when i judge it right
probably when you fight the first boss
well technically
the second boss
Steph: his name is Phil
eldritch s. (GM): no
Steph: Phil the Nihilist
eldritch s. (GM): i notice
i have a few repeating names
harry
there's harry browning
and then harry
Steph: yes
eldritch s. (GM): so we have
ruddman as the chairman
on this evil board of health
Steph: i am a board member
eldritch s. (GM): look at these men
Steph: old rich white men
eldritch s. (GM): who is the most evil one on the board
Steph: tom jones seems like petty evil
i'd have to say hall
eldritch s. (GM): steph offens the board
they all stand up

they are the final boss

rolling 1d20
(
7
)
= 7
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
= 1
Space: they don't even have superpowers
eldritch s. (GM): rolling 1d20
(
3
)
= 3
Space: they're just
eldritch s. (GM): rolling 1d20
(
18
)
= 18
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
= 20
Space: a bunch of old men
Steph: rolling 1d20
(
17
)
= 17
eldritch s. (GM): rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
7
+
1
+
7
)}+1
= 8
John Ruddman fails to punch a teenage girl
Harry Browning: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
14
+
20
+
19
)}+1
= 20
Steph: oh dear jesus
Harry Browning uppercuts her
Harry Browning: rolling 2d8 + 1
(
8

+
3
)+1
= 12
Steph: K-kh...
Steph moves to kick Harry in the dick
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Brawn
{(
2
+
10
+
1
)}
= 2
Harry Browning protects his groin
Larry Shotterman: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Brawn
{(
13
+
17
+
15
)}+2
= 17
Larry Shotterman leaps in and boxes Steph's ears
Larry Shotterman: rolling 1d8 + 2
(
3
)+2
= 5
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Finesse
{(
18
+
3
+
20
)}+2
= 20
Space: jesus christ these old men
Tom Jones shoots Steph with his stungun
Space: power
unlimited
power
Tom Jones: POWER!
UUUUUUUUUUUUUNLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMITED
POWERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
rolling 1d8 + 2
(
4
)+2
= 6
Steph: Ow!
Tom Jones: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(

17
+
9
+
6
)}+1
= 10
Dr. Hall is about to shoot Steph but drops his gun
Dr. Hall: Damn!
Victor Sherrings: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
11
+
5
+
10
)}+1
= 11
Victor Sherrings whacks Steph with his briefcase
Victor Sherrings: rolling 1d8 + 1
(
4
)+1
= 5
Forrest: Ahem.
Steph: ...!
Tom Jones: A boy cannot stop the full power of the Board of Health...
Forrest: He can with video evidence of the board physically assaulting a teenage
girl.
Forrest holds up his camera
Steph: F-Forrest! That's... that's brilliant!
Tom Jones: Then you shall die...
And there will be no evidence.
Forrest: Steph, keep protecting me with your face while I upload this to the int
ernet.
Steph: Wh...? Uh, okay!
Forrest begins ELITE PORTABLE HACKING
John Ruddman: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
6
+
14
+
10
)}+1
= 11
John Ruddman punches Forrest in the stomach
John Ruddman: I can't go to prison!
Forrest: HoofJohn Ruddman: rolling 1d8 + 1
(
8
)+1
= 9
Harry Browning: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn

{(
7
+
13
+
5
)}+1
= 8
Harry Browning goes to punch Forrest, but slips on the floor
Harry Browning: No...
Steph: He's down... now's my chance!
Steph moves to punch Victor in the throat
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Brawn
{(
12
+
19
+
10
)}
= 12
Victor Sherrings: Ough
rolling 1d8 + 1
(
6
)+1
= 7
Victor Sherrings staggers back
Larry Shotterman: You're gonna be feeling this, kid. Learned it in KKorea.
*Korea
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Brawn
{(
3
+
1
+
4
)}+2
= 5
Larry Shotterman hurts his back trying to do some insane move
Steph: I bet you learned... uh, being old! In Korea too!
Tom Jones: The boy!
Kill the boy!
Tom Jones tries shocking Forrest with his stungun
Tom Jones: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Finesse
{(
5
+
5
+
19
)}+2
= 7
Space: forrest turned it all around

Tom Jones shocks John instead

Tom Jones: You fool!
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
16
+
15
+
3
)}+1
= 16
Dr. Hall pics up his gun
Space: someone is gonna die
Dr. Hall shoots Forrest
Dr. Hall: rolling 1d4
(
2
)
= 2
Forrest: Ghhh.....
Dr. Hall: rolling 2d8 + 3
(
6
+
3
)+3
= 12
Steph: Forrest!
Victor Sherrings is busy gasping for air
Forrest ups his upload game in the face of impending death
Victor Sherrings: roll mind
increased
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
16
+
5
+
14
)+1
= 36
Forrest achieves DOUBLE HACK
Forrest: http://cdn.gifbay.com/2014/03/the_worlds_first_double_hack-119451.gif
Narrator : If you can survive one more turn.
You will have uploaded the video.
John Ruddman: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
4
+
5
+
13
)}+1
= 6

John Ruddman swings wildly, and misses

John Ruddman: God damn you!
Harry Browning: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
7
+
5
+
8
)}+1
= 8
Harry Browning is having trouble getting off the floor
Steph rushes over to try and shoulder-check Hall's gun arm
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
18
+
8
+
13
)}+1
= 14
Dr. Hall 's gun goes flying
...!!!!
Steph: Haha!
Larry Shotterman: Suck on this, shitkid!
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Brawn
{(
11
+
7
+
2
)}+2
= 9
Larry Shotterman hits his side on the board table, and winces in pain
Tom Jones: THE BOY!!!
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 2 for Finesse
{(
11
+
3
+
11
)}+2
= 13
Tom Jones begins shocking the shit out of Forrest
Tom Jones: rolling 1d8 + 2
(
6
)+2
= 8
Forrest: Hrrrrrrrrrrrgh
Dr. Hall: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(

12
+
7
+
5
)}+1
= 8
Dr. Hall tries to charge Forrest, but falls as Steph trips him
Victor Sherrings: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
14
+
14
+
15
)}+1
= 15
Steph: Oh, whoops! Careful, Mr. Hall!
Victor Sherrings raises his hand
Victor Sherrings: Goodbye.
Victor Sherrings explodes
Space: he was a robot
this whole time
Narrator : Demons are summoned.
Steph: Oh... oh no! There's only one thing that can save us now!
Narrator : Forrest.
You MUST upload the video!
Forrest: ....Aaaaand done.
Narrator : roll mind, one more time
Forrest hits that Enter Key
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
13
+
6
+
14
)+1
= 34
Narrator : Yes, he hits enter, not backspace.
Steph: ..................Uh.
Forrest: Alright, there we go. Corruption in the system exposed.
Steph: Forrest.
One Who Brings Darkness: ...
Forrest: I'm going to a hospital before I bleed out
Steph: Forrest.
Forrest looks at THE DARKNESS-BRINGER
One Who Brings Darkness: I WILL KILL YOU.
Forrest: ..........You got bus fare I could borrow?
Steph: FORREST
Forrest: What, too presumptuous?
One Who Brings Darkness: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Brawn
{(
17
+

10
+
6
)}+3
= 13
One Who Brings Darkness slams a hand down on him
One Who Brings Darkness: rolling 3d8 + 3
(
3
+
8
+
1
)+3
= 15
Forrest: Ah-.....Yyyyup, there it goes.
Bluhhhh
Steph: ..........
One Who Devours : HUNGRY HUNGRY EAT EAT KILL EAT HUNGER FLESH MORE BLOOD
rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Brawn
{(
11
+
3
+
5
)}+3
= 8
One Who Devours tries snatching Steph, but Steph avoids
One Who Falls to Ruin: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Brawn
{(
3
+
2
+
1
)}+3
= 5
One Who Falls to Ruin just snarls at Steph
Mac D.: waitaminute
blood-starved beast
One Who Falls to Ruin: yes
Steph: ...!!!!
John Ruddman: ...
John Ruddman tries running
John Ruddman: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Brawn
{(
20
+
14
+
19
)}+1
= 20
Space: whoosh

John Ruddman oom

John Ruddman: *zoom
One Who Corrupts All: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Brawn
{(
2
+
7
+
17
)}+3
= 10
One Who Corrupts All is amorphous and just gurgles
Harry Browning: ...
I'm going to die here.
Steph: I'm not!!
Forrest: {Steph....Steeeeph....}
Steph: Um-- Forrest, take care of yourself!
Steph just tries bolting the fuck out of there
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
14
+
4
+
10
)}+1
= 11
Forrest: {I'm a ghost, you dolt.}
Steph: Oh...
Narrator : Steph bolts, leaving the demons to destroy the world
Steph: I made it!
Forrest: {Should have used The Force.}
Steph: But I don't have a lightsaber...
Narrator : these are their like relative
sizes
Forrest: {You don't need a lightsaber to use the Force you dolt.}
Space: laments is a midget
Narrator : yes
Forrest: {Have you only watched the prequel trilogy or something.}
Narrator : he's also really weak
Steph: W-Maybe!
Narrator : you could probably punch him and he would die
Forrest: {Oh, that's pathetic.}
Steph: I'm busy running from demons!
Forrest: {The world is going to end, and you haven't seen the original trilogy.
What a way to go/}
Narrator : these are really scary boss nihilists
Space: even laments
Narrator : yes
not all boss nihilists are these guys
but all of these guys are bosses
Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yca2BCwAnBQ
Mac D.: i wonder what the One Who Corrupts' gimmick is
Steph: angry mainyu
Narrator : can you guess these guy's sgimmicks
each one corresponds
to an area

in the second heaven

Mac D.: ohhhhh NNNOOOOO
Steph: i already guessed them
way back when
Narrator : can you guess, duff
Mac D.: are they each going to have a unique way to fight them
Narrator : maybe, i've only really worked out the concrte details on one fight
Mac D.: it'd be cool if that were the case
okay so the One Who Devours eats a lot
the One Who Falls To Ruin makes things Decay
the One Who Brings Darkness preys on peoples' fears
and the One Who Corrupts All turns people bad
Narrator : what about laents
*laments
Mac D.: he makes people sad and want to kill themselves
seer i have a third heaven lore question
One Who Laments : sure
You friends will abandon you...
Mac D.: can ghosts be a thing in this cosmology
One Who Laments : i guess
Mac D.: hmmmmm
One Who Laments : i haven't payed it much thought
Mac D.: i'll need to converse this subject with you at a later date
Steph: suspicious
One Who Laments : This world is meaningless...
And you shall die...
Steph: No...
Mac D.: ya i know that
Steph: No, YOU shall die!
Steph shocks him with Tom Jones's stun gun
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
1
+
9
+
12
)}+1
= 10
One Who Laments weakly snatches it from her
Mac D.: garl vinland no.....
Steph: Wh- hey!
Forrest: Damn, I can't believe he took that from you.
One Who Laments : I am the judge.
Forrest: You seriously need to work out more.
Steph: C'mon, give it back!
Steph tries snatching it back
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
19
+
19
+
3
)}+1
= 20
One Who Laments : And your life, it w-

One Who Laments has his arm ripped off along with the stungun, it gave really ea
sily
Forrest: Wow, poor thing.
Nice going, Steph.
Steph: Ew... uh, Forrest, you shoot him.
One Who Laments : My physical form matters not, this entire fortress bows to my
will!
Steph tosses the stungun with arm attached to Forrest
Forrest: .....
Forrest shoots Laments with his magnifying glass laser
One Who Laments : roll
Forrest: rolling 3d20
(
3
+
2
+
7
)
= 12
One Who Laments slithers out of the way, slowly
Forrest: Damn.
Steph: Nice going.
Forrest: He very slowly avoided my attack.
One Who Laments : Torment... Toooorment....
Forrest: Okay, you're turn again.
Steph: Maybe you should work out more.
Steph goes to whack it with her notebook
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
14
+
19
+
3
)}+1
= 15
One Who Laments is struck and immediately collapses into a heap of gore
Forrest: Congratulations.
You killed the tiny sad gross thing.
One Who Falls to Ruin snarls
Steph: Yeah, no thanks to you. Does this mean I-Oh.
Forrest: ...Oh, good.
....Is that his back flesh? Jesus Christ.
Steph: ...Your turn?
One Who Falls to Ruin: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 3 for Brawn
{(
16
+
2
+
17

)}+3
= 19
One Who Falls to Ruin slashes them
Forrest: Nope, looks like I'm dead again.
One Who Falls to Ruin: rolling 1d8 + 3
(
3
)+3
= 6
cant kill a ghost
Forrest: ....Oh, shit, that's right.
Too bad for you, Steph.
Steph: Heh...
Finally, I get to use this! Forrest, look!
Steph points at her character sheet
Forrest: ...?
Forrest looks at this
Steph: You automatically stabilize.
When your life is less than or equal to your toughness, you regenerate 1, have +
5 block, and increase all rolls to escape.
Forrest: What is it.
Steph: It's my first trait... that I never got to use!
Forrest: Oh, wow. An ability for running away like a coward.
One Who Falls to Ruin: oops
i accidentally
remvoe the trait
trying to copypaste it
Forrest: Oh.
One Who Falls to Ruin: because there's no undo button in roll20
Steph: i got it
Forrest: Guess you don't have it any more.
Steph: dont worry
One Who Falls to Ruin: you just have to fuck yourself
Forrest: Too bad for you, I guess.
Forrest looks back at the Ruinmaker
One Who Falls to Ruin: ...
Forrest: Alright, listen, obviously you have a lot of pent-up frustration.
Steph: Check out my cool five block, Mr. Ruin!
Forrest: ....Given that you ripped out your own back and wear it like a cloak.
Steph throws the One Who Laments's gore corpse at him
One Who Falls to Ruin stands on his hind leg
One Who Falls to Ruin: Legs
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Brawn
{(
20
+
4
+
20
)}
= 20
One Who Falls to Ruin is thwacked right in the face with them ushy corpse
Steph: Nailed him!

Forrest: ...Oh, wow. Nice shot.

One Who Falls to Ruin: rolling {3d20kh1} + 3 for increased brawn
{(
11
+
1
+
6
)}+3
= 14
One Who Falls to Ruin howls and goes to stomp her
Steph: Oh.
Steph tries to roll out of the way
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + 1 for Finesse
{(
7
+
8
+
18
)}+1
= 9
One Who Falls to Ruin: CRUSHED LIKE AN ANT!
Forrest: Hope that five block does you well.
One Who Falls to Ruin: rolling 1d8 + 3
(
2
)+3
= 5
Steph: ...Oh, hey!
One Who Falls to Ruin: it does
Forrest: Huh. Imagine that.
One Who Falls to Ruin has his foot held back
Steph: This is the true power of my archetype...
Forrest: Being a coward.
Steph: Quick, punch its dick!
Forrest: I'm a ghost, I can't physically touch things.
One Who Falls to Ruin: ... THEN I SHALL HAVE IT FOR MYSELF.
Steph: Okay, then possess it or some-- wait what?
Forrest: Oh, hey, there's an idea.
One Who Falls to Ruin: rolling {3d20kh1} + 3 for increased brawn
{(
2
+
15
+
18
)}+3
= 21
One Who Falls to Ruin fucking goes to eat her
Steph: ...!!!!!
Forrest: .....Oh.
One Who Falls to Ruin: rolling 3d8 + 3
(
1
+

3
+
4
)+3
= 11
zerp hp
Steph: Oh.
One Who Falls to Ruin absorbs the power of her Archetype
Steph: ....Oh.
Forrest: Oh good, now he's a coward.
Steph: Well, now we're both dead.
One Who Falls to Ruin: steph you're a ghost
Steph: Do you have Mr. Mu's phone number?
Forrest: Nah, we're both ghosts.
No.
I like being a ghost, anyway.
Steph: God dammit.
One Who Falls to Ruin: I SHALL BURN THIS MISERABLE WRECK TO ASHES.
Steph: Uh... hey, One Who Devours, do you have it?
One Who Devours : NO
Forrest looks up at Ruinmaker
Forrest: ....Why?
Steph: Okay, thanks... uh, what about you, Dr. Hall?
Dr. Hall: eat shit
Forrest: Why do you want to burn it to ash.
Steph: Jeez... okay, I'll just have to find him myself.
Steph starts searching the character rows for Mr. Mu
Steph: rolling {3d20dl1}dh1 + for Mind
{(
12
+
10
+
13
)}
= 12
Forrest: Steph wait, he fucked off.
Steph: Oh, damn.
Do we win?
Forrest: I'd say that's a win.
Steph: ...Oh! There you are.
Forrest: Except we're both ghosts now.
Mr. Mu: Shit bitch, you fine.
Steph: ;) ;) ;)
Bring me back to life so I can beat up monsters some more.
Leave Forrest as a ghost, he's less annoying that way.
Forrest: Excuse me.
Steph: Sorry, he's the same level of annoying. I just don't mind him as much.
Mr. Mu: rolling 1d4
(
1
)
= 1
rolling 1d4
(
4
)

= 4
i don't believe it
steph, had this been real
would have permanently gained a poin in spirit
rolling 1d4
(
2
)
= 2
Mr. Mu: rolling 1d4
(
3
)
= 3
Steph: c:
Mr. Mu: and forrest would have broken even
Steph: do you have a table set up for results
Mr. Mu: yeah
Steph: fuck yes
Mr. Mu: it's a really simple table
and it doesn't account for aesthetic differences
Steph: what determines those
Mr. Mu: up to the player
Space cackles evilly
Mac D.: forrest comes back inhumanly GORGEOUS
and hates every minute of it
Space: he's as anime as his family
Mac D.: just
shoop his face
onto an anime boy body
Mr. Mu: it's good to be able to test the reviving system
rolling 1d4
(
2
)
= 2
rolling 1d4
(
3
)
= 3
man these are lucky rolls
you're only broken even and gain so far
rolling 1d4
(
2
)
= 2
Mr. Mu: rolling 1d4
(
4
)
= 4
amazing rolls
Space: what's the
Mr. Mu: that's a gain in mind
Space: absolute worst roll
Mr. Mu: well you lose a point permanently in a stat
Mac D.: does the first roll determine gain/loss and the second roll determine wh

ich stat
Mr. Mu: other way around
Mac D.: ahh ok
Mr. Mu: remember when gab almost died
how stressed out everyone got
Space: i was cackling
Mac D.: if gab dies it's going to be by her own hand
exploding in a blast of white-hote anger
a Frick that shakes the world to its core
Mr. Mu: so, duff
Space: hey duff
Mr. Mu: you now can see all the npcs in the game
Mac D.: let's see here
Space: http://i.imgur.com/DUso9mS.jpg
Mac D.: who's THIS lady
Space: that's Mlle. Lane
Mac D.: HA HAAA PERFECT
Space: gah that's really jpegy and gross hold on
Mlle. Lane: you haven't met her yet
Mac D.: we still need to have a conversation with The Hipster
Space: http://i.imgur.com/Dns9fAU.jpg maybe this image is just jpegy by default
the npc
that i want to mee tthe most is
???
becasue look
a man of mystery
Mac D.: forrest interacts with his grieving family by possessing Sooz
Space: speaking of grieving families
look who's next to loren
Mac D.: on the hunt for vengeance
just gonnaaaaa SLIP into adeva while we wait
Mlle. Lane: no
pls
stay here for a while
Space: its ok seer
in mere
*im here
Mlle. Lane: but yes
it's lucille
the mother of naomi
who is dead
(because of steph)
Steph: :c
Mlle. Lane: but everyone think she's missing
Mac D.: oh i wasn't leaving
i'm just having adeva up in another tab
Mlle. Lane: yeah but she has a bio and such alrady
she came up pretty fully formed
Steph: all thanks to me
Mac D.: forrest still needs to discover that he can make a magnifying glass that
shoots laser
Steph: of all these
npcs
who do you think is secretly behind it
Mac D.: sooz, obviously
Steph: Li'l Soozie
Space: i'm still proud of that
horrible name
Mac D.: she did it to make Big Bro happy
Space: did it work

Forrest: idunno i guess i'm having fun so far

Steph: you're a ghost
Forrest: it's not so bad
check this out
Forrest possesses Steph
Steph grumpy face
Forrest pops out
Forrest: see, fun
Steph: i don't ever want to do that again
Forrest possesses her again
Forrest: "bah buh look at me I'M steph i laugh at people breaking their nose"
Forrest pops out
Steph: That's not funny!
Forrest: actually hang on
Forrest possesses again
Forrest rummages through her pockets
Forrest: Where're those twelve dollars....
Steph: I'm gonna call the cops...
Forrest: you hush you're possessed
Forrest pops back out
Forrest: i can't believe you have NO pocket money
Steph gets out her cell phone
Steph: Hello? Police? There's a ghost possesing me!
Mac D.: we start the game up again and they're still sitting at the library wait
ing for the rain to stop
Steph: theyve been sitting there for weeks
Forrest: this is getting a little ridiculous
Steph: it just rains a lot here
it's the pacific northwest
Forrest: how do you people live
Mac D.: also please tell me gabby's guardians are eustice and muriel
eldritch s. (GM): let me ask
soace said he was proud of that terrible name
explain
Mac D.: was Lel Shitkid his idea
in terms of naming
eldritch s. (GM): no
Mac D.: oh idunno then
Space: i came up with all three of their names you chump
Iblis: I'll kill you shitty kids.
Steph: no fuck you
Iblis: friend ship
my weakness
urgh
Mr. Mu: social rinku, go
One Who Brings Darkness: Nihilism goes here...
Steph: i've gotta stay fly
Normal Finesse Test
Rolling 3d20 Finesse for
"11 "
Lower Margin: 8

Upper Margin: 13
Result:
Normal Finesse Test
Rolling 3d20 Finesse for
" "
Lower Margin: 11
Upper Margin: 11
Result:
Normal Spirit Test
Rolling 3d20 Spirit for
"beating up iblis "
Lower Margin: 11
Upper Margin: 11
Result:
Increased Brawn Test
Rolling 3d20 Brawn for
" "
Lower Margin: 11
Upper Margin: 10
Result:
rolling {{3d20dl1}dh1}
{{(
8
+
5
+
3
)}}
= 5
Steph: {{3d20dl1}dh1}
rolling {{3d20dl1}dh1}
{{(
9
+
4
+
15
)}}
= 9
Gordon Knotts: Steph... I'm such a better writer than you.. fuck off...
Narrator : GIant naked Mr. Mu falls apart into the sea of LCL.
Mac D.: fuck you doin
eldritch s. (GM): chilling in my own roll20
Mac D.: and you didn't
invite
me
eldritch s. (GM): nope
Mac D.: well TOOOOO bad motherfucker i'm HERE ANYWAY
i want to third heaven again
every day i am denied third heaven hurts me
Forrest: this is.....God?
Lel Shitkid: die now
Forrest: no
sexy beam
Mac D.: wanna dakkenlaud
Lel Shitkid: spaces really wants to cypress
Mac D.: but we did cypress last time...
Lel Shitkid: talk to him
coward
Mac D.: fool i DID talk to him

Lel Shitkid: what did he say

Mac D.: he's being......difficult.........
"we didn't FINISH the cypress sesh" he insists
Lel Shitkid: just let him have what he wants
Mac D.: but i really wanna do dakkenlaud....
Fawkes M.: It isn't July 21st, 16:35
eldritch s. (GM): 11th
Fawkes M.: 80 bucks says that date is significant to this plot
eldritch s. (GM): i marked the date of the srebenica massacre so i can mock von
about it on the anniversary
Fawkes M.: Down to the minute
Bootiful
Mobile L: https://45.media.tumblr.com/8ab95978cfa7cdf403ee92f4d043db74/tumblr_ns
c9qyiSvz1r470w9o1_250.gif
Fawkes M.: Nyan
Mobile L: "Penis!!"
Fawkes M.: J-j-j-jamdat369 it in
This seems like the theme of a Team Rocket analogue
Mac D.: AAAAAT LLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAST
Mobile L: it's time, buddy...
Space: i can hardly believe it
we're home
Fawkes M.: Yeah
Damn shame we lost Hollow Night along the way
eldritch s. (GM): YEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEA
Mobile L: Its time will come again
but now, frickers
now it is frickin' happening
eldritch s. (GM): YEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEA
Gabby: f r i c k
Jaime: who the fuck is ronald
Steph: my grandfather
eldritch s. (GM): what the FUCK is a canada
Jaime: GOOD FuCKIN QuesTOION
GHT
eldritch s. (GM): why is jaime there
he should move
he lives here now
with the trash
and vietnemes
Space: it is the scuttlebug's home
Steph quietly waits for the rain to stop
Mobile L: So refresh my mem'ry, what is happen?
Jaime: I think I missed a sesh
Fawkes M.: Last I recall
eldritch s. (GM): he did, i think
Fawkes M.: There was a class going down
eldritch s. (GM): yeah basically the schoolday advanced as per normal
steph and forrest wandered off to have anal sex or what have you
and jaime and gab were sitting around sniffing glue or whatever gets them their
jollies
Jaime: so where the frick is gabby
oh
eldritch s. (GM): with him, at the school
Gabby: hi, fricker
Jaime: hi
Forrest is also playing the rain waiting game
Steph: ...Umbrellas are pretty great.

Narrator : good luck with that, fatass

Forrest: .........
Narrator : The rain has picked up since they got out of school.
It's a practical deluge.
Steph: ...I don't think it's gonna get any better any time soon.
Gabby is RATHER GRUMPY at this prospect'
Narrator : oh yeah jaime missed some personal drama with lachance
Forrest: ....So now, what.
Narrator : that's about it
Gabby: ...Friiiick.
Steph: Should we just head out?
Jaime: recap moi on the NATURE of the DRAMA
Narrator : she and foxhole exchanged some words
Forrest: In this?
Narrator : she was upset
thereatened to beat forrest
he made nice with forrest and left
Jaime: I... don't think I brought an umbrella.
Mobile L: Eldy is it supposed to be on the outside school map, 'cuz we in town
Fawkes M.: Jeezus
Steph: I mean, I don't care. We can run to the... the fuckin' umbrella store or
something.
Narrator : this is the town map
Forrest: The umbrella store.
Jaime: Or a raincoat, or anything like that.
Narrator : i represent situations like this with the school people being
lower left corner
and steph and fatfuck
Steph: Yeah, they sell umbrellas there.
Narrator : are off in town
Fawkes M.: Just draw this like one of your French FGs
Forrest: Oh, I thought they sold ponchos
Steph: Maybe they do. We won't know until we go there.
Mobile L: ...Me either. What's with all this fricking rain lately?
Forrest: Where is this fabled "Umbrella Store."
Gabby: FRICKLE
Steph: We could look around.
Jaime: I don't know. Don't think it has anything to do with recent events.
Gabby: I wish it'd frick off.
Could use some dang sunlight.
Jaime: ...How desperate are you to get home?
Gabby: ...Uhhh... I'd say, like, 67.8% desperate.
Forrest: I am not stepping out into a monsoon to look around for an undetermined
location.
Gabby: Why d'you ask?
Roland Glass approaches the school, a dead-eyed, greasy haired, soaking wet man
in a suit
Jaime: I've got a plan. There's bound to be a lost-and-found, right?
Steph: Okay, I'll just look it up on my phone. Because I guess we have to do thi
ngs the boring way.
Gabby: ...Yea
Steph goes to look up "places that sell umbrellas near me"
Gabby uhhhh RAPIST????
Roland Glass has a deep frown on his face
Forrest: Good. Boring keeps me dry.

Gabby: ...Hi...?
Jaime: ...Bad weather?
Jaime to the INCOMING RAPIST
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
17
)
= 17
Lot'sa spaghett- Umbrella shops'a here!
Fawkes M.: GAY LUIGI
Gabby: book
Steph: Yeah, look, we're right near one.
Roland Glass: ... Hello.
This is...
Roland Glass sigh
Forrest: Oh, good.
Roland Glass: Belmont Private High School, yes?
Forrest: What a stroke of good fortune.
Gabby: ...Yep. Uh, whatcha need?
Jaime: ...Yes, it is.
Roland Glass: I see.
Forrest: I hope you have money, considering I spent the twelve dollars I had buy
ing you food.
Roland Glass: I am Roland Glass, I've been sent to do some routine checks on the
school.
You know, make sure the money isn't being spent on crack-cocaine.
Jaime: Oh, by... the board?
Steph: Okay, we're probably gonna have to stop off at my house then.
Roland Glass: Yes.
We've gotten some interesting reports.
Forrest: How far away is that.
Gabby: ...Oh. Crap day to have to do that, right?
Steph: It's a nice stroll.
Jaime: Crack-cocaine reports?
Roland Glass: I'll be doing it every day this week.
Might as well be.
Today I'm going to be looking into the...
Forrest: Don't you have any umbrellas at your house anyway.
Roland Glass checks his soaking clipboard
Roland Glass: ... Boilers.
Gabby: ...Huh. I'm gonna super hope for you that it quits raining the rest of th
e week.
Roland Glass: It won't.
Steph: That's farther away than the umbrella shop. Besides, one of them is my gr
andfather's.
Jaime: Yeah. What else do you need to check?
Gabby: Well... Hope is blind, and stuff.
Roland Glass: The staff's conduct, students' conduct, electricity, asbestos, etc
, etc.
Forrest: What's the point of stopping at your house, then.
Roland Glass: Oh, fire extinguishers, fire alarms, fire sprinklers.
You think they could fork over the money to have a professional do this, but no.
Steph: Well, fuck if you're using my granddad's umbrella. We're gonna have to bu
y you one.
Forrest: Okay, let me see if I have this right.
Jaime: ...What kind of reports came in, exactly?
Gabby: What, uhhh... What kinda profession is that, anyway? Are you like, some k

inda overly-versatile janitor?

Forrest: We're going to walk a fair distance in the pouring torrential rain to g
et money so I can purchase and umbrella.
Roland Glass: Things like books being burned, physical violence against students
, threats, a pig being cut open in the middle of class.
Forrest: And then walk the fair distance and more through the pouring torrential
rain again so I can get the umbrella.
Roland Glass: I mean, I by all rights shouldn't be doing this.
Forrest: And then go home.
Steph: Yup.
Roland Glass: But we got a budget cut and they made me do all of this.
Jaime: ...Mm.
Gabby: ...That really sucks. Sorry.
Forrest: Or I could just stay at the library until the rain lets up.
Roland Glass: Oh, oh, live chicken being kept in the school.
Jaime: Are there any, like, reports of mad cow disease?
Or- yeah, that's true.
Steph: You could.
Roland Glass: Oh, a case of "chicken psychosis".
Steph: But then you'd be stuck with me.
Roland Glass: And- wait, what?
Jaime: ...I feel really bad for that stud-Roland Glass: They kept a chicken in this school?
Jaime: ...?
Space: CHICKEN PSYCHOSIS
Forrest: You say that like it's a threat.
Jaime nods twice
Gabby now feels bad for the rapist
Roland Glass exhales
Roland Glass: Okay.
I'll be sure to check in on that.
Space: It's not a threat, Forrest. Why would you think that?
Steph: oh
Roland Glass: Oh, yeah, and the multiple break-ins.
Multiple assaults.
Missing persons.
You really think there would be some police around here.
Gabby winces a tiny bit at the uhhh... the memories
Gabby: ...Yeah...
Forrest: It isn't like your presence within a five foot radius of me is liable t
o give me a seizure or anything.
Jaime: ...
Forrest: Also, I stay dry.
Jaime: ...Are you talking about that man who attacked the school in the middle o
f the day?
Roland Glass: Yeah.
Steph: You have to weigh the pros and cons here, Forrest.
Forrest: So really, this seems like the most advantageous option.
Gabby: ...That was fricked up.
Roland Glass: And some nutjob who posed as a reporter and threw a book at the Pr
incipal's head.
Gabby: ...That was also fricked up.
Roland Glass: Oh, oh.
And the guy who broke out of a hospital.
Steph: Well, we might as well pull up a chair.
Roland Glass: And has been seen around here a few times.

Forrest: Or we could go inside.

Roland Glass: Grown man, with some goatee.
Jaime: ...Right.
Roland Glass: Hanging around kids.
Gabby: ...Uh... Huh...
Steph: Yes, a chair inside.
Roland Glass: Can't make this stuff up.
Steph: Which is where most chairs are.
Jaime: He sounds vaguely familiar.
Gabby: Weird times.
Roland Glass: Oh, oh, oh, and someone saw a snake.
A big snake.
Forrest: Yes.
Roland Glass: Like a python.
Gabby: ...Yeah, wow... Fricked crap.
Forrest gets up and goes inside the library
Steph follows the forest department
Roland Glass sighs
Roland Glass: Alright, well, you'll be seeing more of me, I guess.
And if the man with a goatee comes up to you, and offers you candy, don't take i
t.
Forrest goes and has a sit, pulling a random book off the shelf to pass the time
Jaime: Got it.
Jaime nods
Narrator : The library is a bit freaked out from the stabbing
Jaime: Good luck, and take care with those boilers.
Roland Glass nods
Jaime or was it "take care, and good luck with those boilers", the dyslexic thin
ks
Gabby: Yeah, uh, good luck. Get dry and warm and stuff.
Roland Glass heads by to the ~evil disused place where the second heaven is~
Steph goes to sit by him, pulling out her phone
Gabby:
...You know what I think happened?
Jaime: ...What?
Forrest dives headfirst into the READING RAINBOW
Narrator : reading about what exactly
Steph explores the realm of social media
Narrator : who does steph follow on social media
on the hit site
Space: the various School Friends/Acquaintances/Enemies
Gabby: I think that guy majored in something like history, or theatre arts, or g
ender studies.
Narrator : twzler
Mac D.: dunno he pulled out a random book
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
7
)

= 7
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
= 13
Jaime: I can see that. And then he ended up with... a rainy job on a rainy day.
...That sounded better in my head.
Gabby: Yeah... Nyeheh, it wasn't bad.
Narrator : Forrest is reading a sexual-education book for the parents of Autisti
c children.
Jaime: ...So, anyways.
Gabby: Word to the wise, Jaime. Profitable degrees only.
...But yeah, the lost and found?
Forrest wonders what possible situation the knowledge in this book calls for
Narrator : Steph sees that there's going to be a rally for the missing people in
two days.
Steph: ...Hey, Forrest.
Jaime: Yeah. I bet there's an umbrella there that somebody's lost for months.
Forrest: Mm.
Jaime: They won't miss it.
Steph: Look at this.
Steph shows him her phone
Narrator : http://www.jkp.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/800x800/9df78e
ab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/9/7/9781849055260.jpg
Mobile L: "The Birds and the Bees: No Theory of Mind Edition, by Dr. Lawrence Ga
ynor"
Forrest looks up from his book at the Fone
Gabby: ...Nyeheheheh! Shrewd, I like it. Let's go look.
Forrest: ...Ah. Interesting.
Gabby: Nobody gives a crap about umbrellas unless they're, like, antiques.
Steph: We should go.
Jaime: Yeah, and using an antiquated umbrella is just gonna ruin it.
Anyways - where's the lost and found?
Forrest: For what reason. To support the families?
Jaime: I wouldn't know, since I haven't lost anything yet.
Gabby: Uhhh... Dunno, I never lose things.
Steph: I think it'll help give us some perspective.
Narrator : the office
http://www.west-info.eu/how-to-manage-an-autistic-childs-sexual-instincts/
that's his book
Gabby: ...Oh! Well there.
Forrest: Into what.
Gabby: The office.
Duh. Nyeheheh.
Jaime: ...Right.
Let's head there.
Steph: You know. Why what we're doing is important.
Gabby schedules a time for masturbating and avoids watching films where the wome
n are passive
Narrator : is gabby autism
In the office, the lost and fond contains...
rolling 1d20
(
12
)

= 12
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
= 6
Jaime draws circles of acquaintances
Mobile L: If she has anything, it's like, very very mild 'spergers
Narrator : One umbrella.
Forrest: I already place a fair level of importance on what we're doing.
Jaime how big
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
14
)
= 14
Sizable.
Steph: So you're not gonna go?
Gabby: ...That should work, 'long as you do the holding.
Jaime: I can do that.
Gabby: Heck yes.
Jaime goes to take that umbreller
Forrest: I most likely won't. I don't do public gatherings, anyway.
Gabby now wonders why she ever felt disdainful anything towards Jaime
Jaime this is technically stealing, Gabs
Narrator : thievery
Jaime outlaw, bitch
Gabby doesn't give a FRICK, son
Narrator : Good thing Hawthorne is too busy petting Theodore to notice.
Gabby we deserve this crap after defending the world from demon things
Jaime yer days are numbered, you demon in poultry form
Jaime: Alright, so - which side of town do you live on, again?
Steph: Okay, that's fine.
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
17
)
= 17
Jaime and Gabby hear the sounds of a scuffle outside
Gabby: East si... ????
Jaime: ...
Gabby:
Gabby LISSEN
Forrest turns a page in his book
Roland Glass: Get off!
Steph goes back to her phone
Steph: What book did you get?

Jaime instinctively listens to the struggle and the rain, to see if it's still g
oin'
Roland Glass still goin
Gabby: ...Uhh... You think, um...?
Forrest: It appears to be a book about managing the sex drives of autistic child
ren.
Steph: Good read?
Jaime is this within the LOS of where they view from
Roland Glass: no, they would have to go outside to see
Forrest: Not really.
Gabby: ...I feel awful for that guy, let's go see what's up.
Jaime: Yeah. Hopefully, it's not another...
Gabby gits oat her BOOK just in case
Steph peers over to look at it
Jaime trails off before he can say "chicken"
Lunatic: DIE.
Gabby: ...Yeah... Probably isn't any big dFRICK
Lunatic is currently choking the living shit out of Glass
Gabby:
Forrest reed
Gabby oh no
Jaime: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Gabby oh HECK no
Gabby OH HEEEECK FRICKIN' NO
Gabby NOT IN MY HOUSE
Steph: Why are you reading this?
Gabby: HEY FRICKER!
Forrest: Because I pulled it from the shelf.
Jaime runs up and tries to club the Lunatic on the head with an umbreller
Roland Glass: brawn
Gabby: REMEMBER ME, BEE-HATCH?!?
Jaime: gahhhhh 1.0
Normal Brawn Test
Rolling 3d20 Brawn for
"11 "
Lower Margin: 8
Upper Margin: 13
Result:
Lunatic is hit over the head and lets go
Jaime: how the fuck does this even
Lunatic: ignore it
Lunatic looks at them
Gabby bristles, brandishes her book menacingly and tries to intimidate this fric
k who is harassing the rapist
Steph: Why not read something that's... y'know, fuckin' actually good?

Lunatic: roll spirit

Gabby:
Normal Spirit Test
Rolling 3d20 Spirit for
"11 "
Lower Margin: 8
Upper Margin: 13
Result:
Lunatic snarls like a rabid animal and CLIMBS UP THE FUCKING WALL
Gabby: !!?!
Lunatic hops away on the rooftops
Jaime: What the-Forrest: Because this is the book I pulled from the shelf.
Gabby: ...Jesus holy frick.
Gabby goes to check on Roland
Steph: Why not... pull a different book?
Roland Glass stares at the sky
Jaime does to as well, opening the umbreller
Roland Glass: ... God.
What an awful place.
Forrest: Don't feel like it.
Forrest turns page
Gabby: ...Guy. You okay? How bad did he hurt you?
Steph: Do you want me to get you a different book?
Roland Glass: I walked into the boiler room.
And this man is flat on the floor.
Forrest: No, I don't like leaving books unfinished, either.
Roland Glass: And then he gets up, after his neck just...
Snaps around like a slinky.
Gabby:
Roland Glass: And he started kicking the shit out of me.
Steph: Well... have fun.
Jaime: ...
Forrest: Mm.
Steph goes back to checking out her phone's social netowrking
Forrest turrrrns page
Gabby: ...Shhhhhhoot. Can you walk?
Roland Glass: Sure.
The boiler seemed fine.
Roland Glass stands up
Jaime: This isn't a great first impression, is it?
Gabby: ...I would love to tell you that's the weirdest crap, but...
Gabby sighs deeply
Sherwood Cotter is looking at Forrest, his face scrunched up
Forrest: ......
Roland Glass: Sure was.
Forrest glances at Sherwood

Roland Glass straightens his tie

Sherwood Cotter: ...
Forrest: .....Is there a problem.
Gabby:
Gabby tries to remember how much money she has
Jaime: ...You said this was for the whole week?
Sherwood Cotter: I would like you to know, my boy, that I, Sherwood Cotter, resp
ect the needs of the mentally challenged AND teenage parents out there.
Steph: ...?
Sherwood Cotter: And know that I, and the Conservative Party, are behind you.
Steph looks over
Forrest: ..........Okay. Good for you.
Sherwood Cotter thumbs up, sparkly grin
Mobile L: oh my god, cotter
Forrest turns his eyes back to his book
Steph: (...Oh.)
Roland Glass: ... I did, didn't I.
Steph: (He's a politician.)
Forrest: Mm.
Roland Glass: he's a politican you pissed off steph
Gabby does she at least have enough money for, like a hot chocolate
Roland Glass: and also one who was assaulted by teddy
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
= 8
no
Gabby fffffrghhhh...
Forrest eventually finishes the book, closing it and setting it down
Gabby:
Roland Glass: the lancaster does
Steph tries to behave in an incognito fashion, so he doesn't notice her
Roland Glass: he always pays his debts
Jaime: ...Well, hopefully, the worst has passed.
Mac D.: forrest now gets increased rolls towards preventing autistic girls from
publicly masturbating
Roland Glass: yes
Gabby just goes and grabs up all the change she has from her bookbag
Jaime: frick
Mobile L: Not like he wasn't great at that already ;D
Roland Glass: I hope.
Mobile L: ...Hey, uh.
Forrest looks at Steph being incognito
Forrest: ......
Gabby: ponos
Steph chill n' cool
Gabby holds out a pitiful handful of change

Forrest: .....
Roland Glass looks down at it
Jaime also looks down at the change
Jaime: ...?
Forrest quietly gets up and goes to get a random book, no longer obstructing Cot
ter's view from Steph
Gabby: ...This is like, not a bunch, but, uhhh... If you wanna get yourself a ho
t chocolate or something, maybe it'd cover, like, three-fourths. I dunno.
Steph: ...
........
Sherwood Cotter looks at her
Sherwood Cotter smiling, hands clapsed
Sherwood Cotter: Ah, my dear girl!
Steph: Hi there.
Sherwood Cotter: I remember you!
Steph oh dear god
Sherwood Cotter: You are my adoring fan! Yes, yes.
Steph: Um...
Jaime looks to Gabby
Roland Glass takes it
Forrest walks back over with his new random book, noticing the two at conversati
on
Forrest: .......
Roland Glass looks at the money
Roland Glass nods
Roland Glass: Thank you.
Jaime isn't being clued in, Gabby
Sherwood Cotter: Yes, yes, the girl who complimented me the other day, on the st
reet.
Gabby no, you don't have to chip in, this is MY frickin' charity act, ya dingus
Sherwood Cotter: You.
Gabby nods back, srs-faced as ever
Forrest excuses himself to another seat to let the two of them have their chat i
n peace
Gabby: Sure. You've earned it. That guy is a fricker and I'm sorry you had to de
al with him.
Steph: Are you, uh... here to get some votes?
Forrest cracks open that random book ready to once again drink from the fountain
of knowledge
Gabby just looks so srs, Jaime, like she's an adult lady doing adult things
Gabby but aaaaa, she's soooooo tiiiiny
Jaime: ...We aren't gonna need to call the police, right? If this is going on th

e report.
Gabby: ...Wouldn't be any good. Dude's already fricked off.
Jaime: Yeah. Police probably know about him already.
Roland Glass: He's on the watchlist, yes.
Gabby but forrest, is the random book... THE FOUNTAINHEAD...? by ayn rand
Roland Glass: I should probably bring this to the police, though. It's just righ
t.
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
= 3
Gabby: ...Right, yeah.
Narrator : The random book is...
The sequel, What's Happening to Tom?
The book for managing the sexual urges of autistic MALES.
Jaime: ...
Jaime not moving with that umbreller
Gabby fills her fap scrapbook with pictures of chopin and manga baras
Narrator : http://krainaksiazek.pl/9781849055239_whats_happening_to_tom_a_book_a
bout_puberty_for_boys_and_young_men_with_autism_and_related_conditions.jpg
Forrest: .......
Forrest is internally surprised the odds of THAT
Roland Glass pulls out his cell and calls the cops
Forrest begins his READ
Sherwood Cotter: What?
No, no, I simply enjoy fine reading.
In fact, right here, I have a copy of Machiavelli's own book, The Prince.
Forrest: .....
Sherwood Cotter shows it to her
Steph: You know, he wrote that one as, like, a satire.
Ms. Lao is dead inside
Maria West is a hispter
Forrest notices his proximity to Ms. Lao
Forrest: .......
Roland Glass hangs up
Roland Glass: They'll be here shortly.
Forrest glances at the young woman beside him briefly
Forrest: ...
Roland Glass: You two should probably get out of here.
Unless you want the police talking to you for ten hours.
Jaime: Alright.
Jaime nods
Gabby: ...'Kay, yes. Uh... Best of luck, again. Get a good hot chocolate with he
cka marshmallows.
...Wanna go to my place, Jaime?
Sherwood Cotter: Ah, I did!

He was a staunch supporter of liberty.

Though I believe there is wisdom to be found in the satire.
Steph: Yeah, a lot of people don't know that.
Jaime: ...Sure. I mean, we've got one umbrella.
Steph: Oh, that's, uh... that's great, guy.
Forrest: .......
Sherwood Cotter: What? What is wrong with the idea that when one cannot be both
feared and loved, one should be feared?
Forrest looks back at The Lao
Gabby: Maybe if we wait there long enough, the rain will quit.
Sherwood Cotter: Love does not stop the public from deposing you?
*.
Gabby is just in a hurry to evade the satanic death cops
Ms. Lao clearly does not want to be alive at this moment
Forrest: .......Ms. Lao.
Roland Glass: I have to stay here.
Steph: Well, that's... fuckin', uh, medieval times, not a modern-day democratic
process.
Roland Glass: I called the cops.
Jaime: That, and I don't want to fall behind, again.
...We should head out, then?
Roland Glass: You should.
Roland Glass pockets the money
Jaime nods
Jaime: Seeya. C'mon, Gabby.
Ms. Lao looks up
Ms. Lao: ... Hello.
Gabby: Okay, bye.
Gabby LEAAAAVE
Sherwood Cotter: Dictators, my friend, dictators.
You'd be naive to deny the existence of despots to this day.
Forrest: I heard you called in sick, today. Are you feeling any better.
Narrator : And they're off!
Steph: But... I mean, those are bad.
Gabby: ...You think that guy'll buy a hot chocolate? I forget how much they even
cost.
Narrator : They see, as they walk, Mr. Pink, sitting at a cafe
Jaime wheeeee
Mr. Pink notices them and waves
Jaime: Do people still drink hot chocolate?
Mr. Pink: Hey kids!
Gabby waves back and half-smiles politely
Jaime notices him, and waves back once with his free hand
Gabby: Well, I do. I make it at home, though.
Ms. Lao: Yes.
My stomach has been very badly pained.
Jaime: Ah.
Jaime to Mr. Pink

Jaime: Rainy day, isn't it?

Forrest: ....I see. I'm sorry to hear that.
Sherwood Cotter: Of course not, but there is wisdom in it for them.
Gabby: The secret is that you use milk and not water. That makes it taste good.
...Too much milk kinda fricks with me, though.
Sherwood Cotter: Still, it is thoroughly entertaining, these old politics.
Jaime: ...Wait, so you just add the powder to the milk?
Mr. Pink: Wow, you can say that again!
I just sat down and it's like Hurricane Herman out here!
Steph: I prefer reading, like... um, fiction.
Gabby: Yeah. Well, like, you boil it and stuff.
Didja come here before the rain started?
Mr. Pink: Yeah, I did.
Good thing for the tarp, right?
Mr. Pink points at the covering above the cafe
Jaime: Are you going to camp out here?
Ms. Lao: ...
Ms. Lao pulls a rag out of her pocket and hacks into it
Gabby: Frickin' seriously... You got an umbrella?
Sherwood Cotter: Ah- I enjoy classical fiction- authors like Dante, Homer, Sopho
cles.
Forrest: .......
Steph: Oh. Old stuff.
Forrest: .......Are you suffering from other maladies.
Mr. Pink: No, I don't gots not umbrella! What the plan is...
I'm going to wait for someone naive to come.
And I'm going to steal their umbrella.
Gabby: Don't get caught, or they'll like, flog you.
Mr. Pink: Don't worry!
I've got the timing down to a T.
Gabby nods sagely
Gabby: Good.
Snap like a frickin' anglefish or whatever.
Ms. Lao looks at the rag for a second, before balling it up and putting it back
in her pocket
Jaime: How'll you be sure they won't run after you?
Ms. Lao: ... I don't think you'd want to hear about it...
Forrest: ...I do.
Mobile L: Forrest Freeman: Stealth Therapist
Sherwood Cotter: Yes, old stuff.
There is nothing new under the sun, as it goes, and it is helpful to study the b
uilding blocks.
Forrest: Only if you're willing to talk about it, of course. I don't want to be
presumptuous.
Sherwood Cotter: The Inferno was a revenge fantasy on Dante's part, you know?
Steph: Yeah, it was political too.
Mr. Pink: Easy, easy, I'll run faster.
Jaime: On slippery ground?
Mr. Pink: But, for now, I'm waiting for some friends.
Yeah, it's part of this new game I invented called: Who can get the most concuss
ions in one week?
Ms. Lao looks at him, tired
Ms. Lao: ...
Mobile L: ...Nyeheheh, frick. What if one of your friends is the umbrella-haver?
Ms. Lao: I have been vomiting.

Forrest looks at her, tired

Forrest: .....I see.
Gabby: god in heaven, please smite me
Ms. Lao: Suffering from fever.
Forrest nods
Jaime: Who're you waiting for?
Ms. Lao: And headaches.
In addition to apparent swelling in my abdomen.
Forrest: .......
Sherwood Cotter: I do enjoy the Inferno- it is the most famous of the Comedy, an
d for good reason.
People enjoy the negative side of things, it's catharsis.
Mr. Pink: I wouldn't doubt they would bring umbrellas...
Oh, just some old friends of mine.
Forrest: ....I see.
I was about to say "stomach flu," but......
Steph has been a little surprised throughout this that he's holding a civil conv
ersation when she was a jerk to him
Gabby: That's cool. Hope you guys have fun and stuff, and don't get, like, too m
any dang concussions.
Steph: I haven't actually read any of them.
Sherwood Cotter: I did, when I was young, and had more time for reading.
Savour your youth, it doesn't last long.
Ms. Lao: ...
where is fucks mcleod
Steph: I'll be sure to do that.
Mobile L: Cotter reminds me a bit of Breen
Jaime: Ah. Why meet out here, close to the open rain?
Mr. Pink: Well, we didn't know it would be raining.
Or we would have met somewhere else.
Space: it's raining somewhere else
Sherwood Cotter nods
Sherwood Cotter: I'll see you later.
Remember, vote Conservative.
This country needs you.
Sherwood Cotter heads out the door with his books
Steph: Yeah, nice talking to you.
Forrest: ......Do you visit the library often, Ms. Lao.
Steph aaaaaaAAaah politicians
Jaime: What if it's raining somewhere else?
Ms. Lao: I do.
Forrest: .....I haven't seen you read anything.
Ms. Lao has a book on the table
Forrest is it open
Mr. Pink: Well, then we'd be indoors.
And it wouldn't matter.
Mr. Pink looks down the street
Jaime glances over to see how big the caf is indoors
Jaime: Why's that?

Mr. Pink quickly makes a gesture and turns back to Jaime

Mr. Pink: it's p. small
Jaime was gonna follow where he was looking, but...
Mr. Pink: Because we wouldn't be getting rained at.
roll mind
Steph returns to checking out the Latest Social Media Scoop
Mac D.: iiiiiiis it open
the book
Ms. Lao: duff
wait your fucking turn
and no, the book is not open
Mac D.: tyvm :3
Jaime:
Normal Mind Test
Rolling 3d20 Mind for
"11 "
Lower Margin: 8
Upper Margin: 13
Result:
why that background
Forrest: ....Did you just finish reading that one.
Mac D.: barrels of mead
the kind of storage you would find
Jaime: git wasted, bra
Mac D.: in a tavern
Narrator : Jaime sees a figure, perhaps they are familiar, but they have vanishe
d into the crowd too quickly.
Jaime: ...Right.
Mobile L: aaaa, sorry, I am intermittently being talked at and am just sorta pat
iently waiting for it to conclude
Jaime resists the urge to shake his head
Narrator : Well, steph.
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
= 10
Fawkes M.: I think 10's gonna be my limit, since I have an essay I'm technically
revising
Narrator : ok
It looks like The Enemy School Sports Team won yesterday's baseball game
Liz Rubik scored a home run
Steph: ...Good for her...
Steph looks up
Steph: ...?
Steph looks around for forrest
Ms. Lao: Yes.
Ms. Lao nudges it over to him
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
16
)
= 16
name just

a really
optimistic
chipper book
Mobile L: I only read sad shit :,(
Fawkes M.: It's Okay To Be Gay! Even When It Isn't
Mac D.: i suppose Mein Kampf could be considered optimistic
Fawkes M.: It really is
Space: tom sawyer
no
Fawkes M.: No
Space: that one has a murderer
Fawkes M.: Mein Kampf
Narrator : Huckleberry Finn, i don't give a shit
Forrest looks down at the book
Fawkes M.: ass
Gabby: nooooo, mein kampf
Mobile L: fuck an entire duck
Forrest: .....
....A cheery read.
Gabby looks at Jaime like "i really wanna go home now"
Mr. Pink is about to keep talking when a police car sails by
Mr. Pink: ... Jeez...
Jaime: ...Well, we gotta beat the rain. See-Space: brb a sec, donot wait up 4 me
Jaime: ...you.
Gabby: ...Yeah, uh... Later, Mr. Pink. Enjoy the lunch.
Steal a good, large umbrella.
Jaime nods
Jaime: And don't hit your head
Ms. Lao stares at him
Forrest: ....?
Mr. Pink: Well, I'll try.
Forrest looks at her
Ms. Lao: ... Is there something you want.
Jaime: .
Jaime waves, before leading with ZA UMBURERA
Fawkes M.: Nest 2H throwdown, he's gonna be using that as a lance
*Next
Forrest: ....Oh, no. I just wanted to get to know my history teacher.
Gabby bai baiiiii... aaaaaaa grandpa better be home, frickin' wanna force my fri
end to watch Law and Order
Jaime is utterly clueless to his study buddy's evil, evil plans
Narrator : They go on their trek.
on-to-ottawa
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
= 17
they make it to vietnam without any interruption

Jaime HEY BUBBA

Ms. Lao: ...
Gabby saigon... frick... still in saigon... is GRANDPA and/or GRANDMA home????
Eunice Trn is home
Forrest: I've heard good things about you from the other students, so I wanted t
o have a chat with you in person.
Gabby :D
Gabby: Grandma, hey!
Mac D.: LIES
SHE IS CLEARLY AT THE LIBRARY
Jaime nods
Jaime: Good evening.
Jaime is still carrying a sopping umbreller
Eunice Trn: wrong one
Jasper Trn is home
Jasper Trn is snoring on his favorite recliner
Gabby: why the frick did you clone my grandma frick you
Jaime: i said good evening to a corpse
Gabby: ...Oop... Shhhhh. Just, uh... set it over by the coat rack.
Ms. Lao: ...
Jaime nods, then attempts to do it with STEALF
Ms. Lao: I see.
Narrator : stealth success
Jaime: aww, i was gonna role
Gabby: Grandpa needs his beauty rest.
Narrator : by all means
roll
finesse
what the fuck
Jaime:
Normal Finesse Test
Rolling 3d20 Finesse for
"11 "
Lower Margin: 8
Upper Margin: 13
Result:
Eunice Trn: GABBY GET OVER HERE AND LET ME PINCH YOUR CHEEKS
Narrator : why is eunice talking
Eunice Trn: CMERE YOU LITTLE SHNUGGUMS MWUH MWUH
Narrator : what the fuck
Space: i back
Narrator : there we go
i dicked with the wrong thing
Jasper remains asleep.
Jaime: So... we have homework to do, right?
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
5
)
= 5
...

Steph is now searching the library for Forrest

Narrator : no steph
your fone
social networking
The police are going to renew their investigation of the missing persons at Belm
ont.
Forrest: ....I was unaware of......that, however, so I'm guessing I won't be hav
ing you as a history teacher, anyway.
Space: o shit
Narrator : The school is going to receive a much of cops up the ass.
Steph ...
Gabby: Yeah, some. Let's frickin' get on it, yeah?
And maybe...
Steph thinks, 'this is going to make things a lot harder for us'
Gabby: ...When Grandma gets home and stuff...
...If you're still around...
...We cooooould...
Narrator : nd
the head
Jaime: ...We could?
Narrator : of the investigation
is
Gabby: Watch Law & Order?
Narrator : Officer P. Quest
Steph: ........
Steph has a sinking feeling
Gabby: I mean, I haven't shown you guys.
But it's really good.
Officer Quest: "We will, at all costs, put an end to this and prosecute the crim
inals behind this to the fullest extent of the law."
Steph has a really, very bad feeling
Ms. Lao: ...
Steph forwards that article to the other partymembers phones
Ms. Lao: I can still teach.
Jaime: ...
Narrator : bringity-ding, their fones get the forwarded message
Forrest: ....Do you intend to?
Gabby: ...Ah frickin'... Sheez.
Ms. Lao: Of course.
Narrator : On the tv, in Gabby's house, it's the news.
Jaime: Well, I don't know how soon I'll need to be back.
If it's too late...
Gabby is just grouchily looking at this news
Steph tries to find any more pertinent info
Narrator : They're talking about local millionaire philanthropist, John Ruddman.
He's doing an interview.
Gabby: ...Yeah, that's fine... Just, if you're able and stuff... Rrrrrrgh, those.
.. Those fricking...
Narrator : He apparently just donated a bunch of money to the police.
Jaime: ...Those "fricking" politicians?
Narrator : duff
Gabby: ...Jaime.
Mac D.: ye

Gabby: If I see them again.

Narrator : lao talked to him
Mac D.: ya i'm thinking of a reply
Gabby: None of them will make it out alive.
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
16
)
= 16
Forrest: ....Canadians get paid maternity leave, correct?
Jaime: ...Is it really that important to you?
Narrator : Steph finds that the disappeared people number 11
Jaime: I mean, I'd just rather stick my head above all this.
Narrator : 9 of them students.
Steph: ...
Steph looks to see who the non-students are
Ms. Lao: doesn't say
Gabby: ...The cops aren't gonna stick their heads above killing children.
Ms. Lao: ... Yes.
Forrest: I apologize for asking.....I'm American, you see. For how long?
Steph: ....
Jaime: ...Oh, I thought you were just talking about Ruddman.
John Ruddman: On the TV: "It has long been a personal interest of mine- the poli
ce. And what with this awful... tragic series of people vanishing, I feel its on
ly right to give back to the community."
Steph does the article say anything about when the disappearances started
Narrator : says like the past two months
Gabby: Yeah, no, just his cop buddies. We need justice. We need them to not ever
make another retarded escape.
If their snake agenda needs children blood, they can... they can just frick right
off and drown in a lake of pee and... and go to heck...
Steph forwards this as well
Jaime: ...Right. Yeah, you're right.
Steph goes ahead and forwards the one about the rally too
Jaime is ignoring the fact that he pays zero attention to politics
Jaime: *isn't mentioning, god i'm sleepy
*ish
Gabby then realizes she may be angry-ing too loudly and tries to shoosh a little
so she doesn't wake Grandpa
Fawkes M.: I've just been in a perpetual state of drowsiness for the past couple
weeks
Mobile L: Have you been drinking enough water?
Gabby:
Gabby sighs deeply and rubs her temples
Ms. Lao: Sixteen weeks, for this region, anyway.
wait
wait, shut up forrest wait
Forrest: ok
Jaime: ...Should we just get started? With the homework, I mean.
Gabby: ...Yeah. Yeah, let's... yeah.
You hungry at all, Jaime? I think we still have some ph leftover from last night.
Ms. Lao: 19 weeks.

Gabby is alreddy gettin' out her homework stuff

Jaime: Oh, um - sure. What's pho?
Forrest: ....I see.
Gabby: Noodle soup, basically. Real good stuff, Grandma's basically the ultimate
pro at it, ever.
Forrest: I apologize if I'm being nosey with all these questions.
Ms. Lao shrugs
Gabby: Get your stuff out and all, I'll warm up a couple bowls.
Jaime: ...Alright, if you're offering.
Thanks.
Jaime starts gitting it out
Narrator : steph forwards the message
Gabby: Sure. Ph's good for rainy days like these.
Steph: ...Okay.
Gabby:
Forrest: ...
Gabby peeps at the MESSAGE while getting the Vietnamese-ass soup warmed up for h
erself and Jaime
Jaime: ...
Jaime decides he has to ask
Jaime: So how's Ken doing?
Gabby: ...Man... Pretty good, I... I think? Haven't, uhh... talked to him a lot
today, but I hope he's...
...What... What do you think it is, that, um...?
...That he... has...?
Forrest looks out the nearest window to see if it's still raining
Narrator : yes
it is
it's gotten worse
Forrest any worse and it's gonna be a fuckin flash flood
Narrator : basically
Gabby sounds like that question's been trapped inside her for a long time
Narrator : people begin leaving the library
Jaime: ...I'm not sure.
Forrest: ....
Jaime: But, I know that he needs painkillers for it.
Steph: ...?
Gabby: ...Frickin'...
Steph: ...
Gabby: ...He's just... He's so...
Steph: Nothing for it.
Steph goes to find Forrest once more
Gabby: ...So okay with it, somehow...

Narrator : there he is!

Forrest: ...
Gabby: ...It shouldn't... It shouldn't have to be that way... If something's fri
cked up, you should... be upset about it...
Steph: Hey! Forrest!
Forrest: ....?
Forrest looks over at Steph

Ms. Lao: ...

Steph: ...And... Ms. Lao.
Hi, Ms. Lao.
Jaime: ...Probably beats having it eat away at you.
Ms. Lao: Hello.
Jaime: That'd be even more inconvient.
Forrest: Where've you been.
Jaime: *inconvenient
Gabby: ...I... I mean, I guess...
Steph: I was looking stuff up.
Gabby: If it was me... I'dI'd just be real frickin'... ticked.
With... with God, or the universe, or whatever.
Forrest: I see, did you find anything interesting.
Jaime: ...Yeah. I know what you mean.
Steph: Maybe if you checked your phone once in a while you'd know.
Forrest: ...?
Forrest pulls out his phone and gives it a looksy
Forrest: ........
.......Oh.
Gabby finally gets the SOPA out and sets it at the table
Gabby: ...Ken is very strong...
Forrest: Well, that's going to be a pain.
Forrest puts his phone away
Jaime: ...Think it's because of the circumstances?
Jaime looks down at it
Steph: Yeppers.
Forrest: Did you just say "Yeppers."
Gabby: ...I think it's just how he is. I think maybe he was born like that.
Gabby https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/99/Ph%E1%BB%9F_b%C3
%B2%2C_C%E1%BA%A7u_Gi%E1%BA%A5y%2C_H%C3%A0_N%E1%BB%99i.jpg/1024px-Ph%E1%BB%9F_b%
C3%B2%2C_C%E1%BA%A7u_Gi%E1%BA%A5y%2C_H%C3%A0_N%E1%BB%99i.jpg
Jaime: It'd be hard to know.
Mac D.: look at this zalgo shit
it hurts my eyes looking at it
Jaime goes to try a bit of le ZALGO noodle
Gabby: don't talk that way about my grandparents' language you fricker
Ms. Lao: racist
Gabby: yehhh
Steph: Yeppers!
Gabby is nice, gud broth
Ms. Lao: ...
Forrest: That is embarrassing.
Ms. Lao is watching them with dead eyes
Gabby: ...Humans have come a long way with life expectancy and stuff.
Used to, if you got a cold, you'd probably die.
Forrest: I intend to stay here until either the rain lets up or the library clos
es, what are you going to do.
Gabby eats her azn a f foods in between talking
Jaime: Yeah. I couldn't imagine living in that sort of medieval world, or time.
Jaime also eating and talking

Gabby: ...I think soon, Jaime. I think soon, all illnesses will be like that.
Penicillin is a very new thing, if you think about it.
So's vaccines.
Steph: I think it's closing soon.
Gabby: So's chemotherapy.
Jaime: All in the past... 150 years, right?
Gabby vigorous nod
Forrest: Well then, I'll stay until it closes.
Steph: Me too.
Forrest: Okay, then.
Gabby: All thanks to science. All thanks to people innovating and just... not gi
ving up.

Narrator : The library eventually closes.

Gabby: ...Something bigger is around the corner, Jaime. I can... I just... I know
.
Forrest stands out in the street in the rain
Forrest wet and unhappy
Jaime: Like, a sort of breakthrough?
Narrator : Lao begins walking home.
Forrest watches her go
Forrest: ....
Jasper watches the two of them
Gabby: Yes... We're gonna move further forward, further away from pain and death
and all that stuff than we ever have before. But it's...
...People will have to make it happen.
Steph: ...Hi.
Forrest: ...?
Forrest looks over at Jasper
Jasper: Hello.
Gabby: Polio didn't go and cure itself.
Forrest: ....Yeah, hi. Did you need something.
Jasper: No.
Jaime nods, as he continues to eat
Forrest: Alright, then. I would like to go somewhere dry very fast, so if you do
n't mind
Gabby: Humans need someone to come up and push things forward every now and then
. Innovators. Inventors.

Gabby sighs sadly

Gabby: ...Sometimes it feels like nobody's trying to, though.
Jasper: I don't.
Jaime: rolling 1d20
(
11
)
= 11
Forrest: Okay, then.
Forrest looks at Steph
Forrest: Are you heading home.
Jaime: You have to be in the right place at the right time, don't you? Like... T

esla.
Before you can make something big.
Jasper: gabby, it's me, elrond
write dianetics but in vietnemes
Jaime: schiebe, where is mobile
Steph: Uh... yeah, sure.
Mobile L: worry not, i live
Forrest: Alright, then. I'll see you tomorrow.
Forrest starts making his way for home as quickly as he can
Jaime: I was gonna have him say "Edison" instead of "Tesla" if I rolled 10 or le
ss
Gabby: no frick you, go buttfrick miscavidge
oh my god, ahahaha
Narrator : Forrest goes home
Forrest WARM, DRY HOME
Narrator : but runs into hall
Gabby: ...That's... Yeah. That's exactly right. And what I want, Jaime...
Forrest FUCK
Gabby: ...Most of all...
Forrest: .....
Forrest looks up at Hall
Dr. Hall: Ah, hello to you, child.
Gabby: ...Is to be in that right place, at that right time. I want to...
Steph starts walking home herself
Forrest: ......Hello, Dr. Hall.
Gabby: ...I want to stop these things people take for granted from even happenin
g.
Dr. Hall: Rather unpleasant out today, isn't it?
The rain makes some people quite gloomy.
Forrest: Yes. I'm trying to get home.
Dr. Hall: Of course.
Wish your parents well for me.
Gabby: I want Ken to wake up tomorrow and not have to wonder if it's his last da
y.
Jaime: ...
Forrest: .......See you tomorrow, Dr. Hall.
Forrest continues on his way
Dr. Hall nods
Gabby: I want my grandparents, both of them, to see the year 2050, and then some
.
Narrator : He comes to his home, with Lel Shitkid drawing pictures
Gabby:
...I want Naomi to live again...
Forrest wrings out his clothes
Forrest: Hey, Sooz.
Jaime: ...Even if she doesn't return back the way she was?
Gabby: ...If she doesn't.
Then.
...Then I'll... I'll fricking make it so.
Jaime nods, after a second's pause
Jaime: Yeah. I bet you can.

Narrator : Steph heads home, where she sees that Karling's umbrella is wet in it
s holder.
Steph: ...?
Narrator : Ronald is in his study.
Mac D.: suzie
Steph knocks on the doorframe
Mac D.: has got some damage
Steph: I'm home!
Fawkes M.: Her TRUE SELF
Mobile L: jeeeezus, sooz, what's your DEAL
Lel Shitkid: Hi, big bro!
Gabby: ...Thank you. I... I think so, too.
Forrest: You making art?
Fawkes M.: Damn
Gabby: ...I mean...
Fawkes M.: I'm at 13% battery
Gabby: ...Even if I'm most likely wrong. The small percentage chance that I'm no
t... That is worth it to me.
Mobile L: Frick
Ride the horse until it coughs up blood and dies
Lel Shitkid: Yeah!
It's a chimera!
Jaime: Just because they're correct doesn't mean they're right?
They being the skeptics, I mean.
Forrest: A chimera, huh? Let's take a look.
Forrest looks at the PICCHUR
Gabby: ...Yeah, oh yeah, pretty much that. Nyeheh...
Ronald Karling steps out of his study
Ronald Karling: So am I.
Jaime: ...That... also sounded better in my head.
Gabby just looks intensely shounen anime r/n
Ronald Karling opens his arms to hug Steph
Gabby: ...No, no, don't knock it. You're a poet or something, I think.
Lel Shitkid drew some mishmash of various monsters
Steph gives Karl a hug
Jaime: Really, now?
Lel Shitkid: kind of looks like a purple/red/green/orange nihilist
Forrest: Dang, that's one fierce-looking monster...
Gabby: Yeah, nyeheheh! Could give Steph a run for her, ehhh... book money, I gue
ss.
Lel Shitkid: Chimera!
Gabby SOOPSLURP
Lel Shitkid points at the open dictionary
Mobile L: Forrest's interactions with Sooz melt my cold innards
Steph: So, uh, there's this thing going on in a few days, like... for the missin
g people and stuff. Is it okay if I go and check it out?
Forrest: Right, right, Chimera.....No doubt this is going up on the fridge.
Ronald Karling: Oh, I was just about to talk to you about that.
I was hoping to attend myself.
Jaime: Wait - what?
Lel Shitkid: It is?

Oh, yay!
Steph: Oh, good.
'Cause, um...
Gabby: ...Y'know, Steph likes books and stuff and, like... writes?
Lel Shitkid: I drew you, big bro!
Forrest: ...Oh, you did? Let's see me.
Gabby: ...Maybe you 'n her could do some kinda collab thing.
Lel Shitkid hands him a paper
Steph: ...Um, you know Naomi? Naomi Way?
Gabby ;D
Forrest looks at it
Jaime: ...Oh. Never mind. Yeah, that could work...
Jaime gits back to eating
Lel Shitkid: it's a (flattering, if crude) depiction of him, labelled "big bro",
with a (crude) depiction of her next to him
Gabby: Frick yeah.
Gabby polishes off her soops
Forrest smiles
Ronald Karling: Mmmm, you've mentioned her before, I believe.
Ronald Karling strokes his beard
Mobile L: aaaaa forrest
Jaime: ...So - what kind of writing does she do, exactly?
Fawkes M.: Steady at 11%
Steph: Y- yeah, so... I mean, I'm... y'know, worried about her, and stuff.
Forrest: Man, the spitting image of me....
Gabby: ...I'unno, beats me, just see her do it a lot. Probably fiction or someth
ing.
Lel Shitkid: I know!
Forrest: Not a bad self-portrait of you, either.
Space: forrest is a good bro
Lel Shitkid: Thanks!
Jaime: Well, fiction does have a broad range.
Ronald Karling: Oh, I see.
She's missing then.
Forrest: So...Is Dad home yet?
Steph: Yeah, she's...
Lel Shitkid: Yeah, he's sleeping!
Steph: She hasn't, um... been at school.
Jaime: I mean, a kids' book isn't like a science fiction novel.
With, like... different pages.
Forrest: Ah, okay. Work must've been rough.
Fawkes M.: godDAMMIT I'm on the service battery
Lel Shitkid: He was really happy!
Fawkes M.: MOBILEEEEEE
Lel Shitkid: what is the service battery
Fawkes M.: Emergency power
Forrest: Really? Did he say why he was so happy?
Fawkes M.: The juice Arnie needed to kill the T-1000
Lel Shitkid: He liked work!
Ronald Karling: Mmm, I see.
Mobile L: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1IKs4LVxQAq
Ronald Karling: Well, we'll keep her in our thoughts and be sure to attend.
Mobile L: aaaaa sorry, I was rrecord

Fawkes M.: aaaaaaHHHHHH

5%
Mobile L: fuuuuug
Fawkes M.: I gotta bow out
Forrest: Oh, that's good.
Space: fare well
Fawkes M.: Byeeeeeeeeeee...
Fawkes M. falls
Mobile L: Later, brah, thanks for hanging in their, kitty
Forrest: I'm heading up to my room now, okay? Come see me if you need anything o
r just want to play games.
Lel Shitkid: Can do!
Forrest: Atta girl.
Forrest heads up to his ruum
Steph: Thanks.
Lel Shitkid begins crawling all over Bryce, like an exotic parasite
Steph clearly concerned about something here
Steph: I, uh - I've got some homework I've got to be working on.
Gabby totes finished that convo and also totes finished studying
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
7
)
= 7
As the day goes on, Gabby does indeed get to watch Law and Order with Jaime.
The episode, sadly, is a rerun.
Forrest goes to his COMPUTAH
Narrator : that gab has seen
Ronald Karling: ... Of course.
Gabby ffffffffrrrgh... o well, at least she could better inform him on the show'
s structure and crap
Gabby ...is this what having siblings is like
Ronald Karling: Remember Steph, if anything is bothering you, you can come to me
.
Ronald Karling tussles her hair
Steph smiles
Narrator : His adoring audience awaits, still in a frenzy about the water.
Space: how many notes does the water post have
Narrator : like
300
and counting
it just took right the fuck off
Steph: Yeah, yeah...
Steph brings her backpack up to her room
Narrator : steph saw it on her social media feed
Forrest his fans can wait, there's work to be done....!
Space: that's how popular it is
Narrator : Forrest begins his work.

Steph promptly whips out her phone when she arrives upstairs
Steph: ....
Forrest begins research into THE NET on the Belmont Board of Health
Steph there's got to be someone to talk to who is 1. already involved in this
Narrator : rolling 1d20
(
3
)
= 3
Steph and 2. Not your Grandfather
Narrator : They exist.
Mac D.: should i not roll mind for this
Narrator : roll mind
Steph: ....
Mac D.: this is no gavel lake we are TT
Steph texts Gabby
Narrator : roll mind, ci
*cuntwad
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
16
+
11
+
5
)+1
= 33
Steph: 'are u there'
Narrator : Well, they're known for generally being inept.
Gabby: 'UH YEAH, HI. SAW THE ARTICLES. FRICKED UP.'
Narrator : And no one has much nice to say about them.
They're all middle-aged or old white men.
Steph: 'Your caps lock is on'
Forrest: ....
Narrator : Most have a bit of a paunch.
Gabby: 'OH. IS THAT LIKE BAD?'
Forrest nice to know they at least have bad PR
Narrator : They're all important figures in the community.
Steph: 'iguess not reallyy...?'
Gabby: 'OKAY. HOW'S IT GOING AND STUFF'
Steph: 'bad'
Forrest tries to look into any policies they've enacted over the course of their
tenure
Narrator : The mayor, Victor Sherrings is on it
generally not much
Forrest: .....What's a mayor doing on a Health Board?
Narrator : they've kept the status qup
Gabby has texted in a scream voice her whole life
Narrator : *quo
Gabby: 'FRICK. HOW'
Narrator : apparently the mayor is a retired doctor
Steph: 'about naomi'

Gabby:
'WITH THE VIGIL THING, OR DID SOMEONE FIND BAD STUFF'
Narrator : that's it
Gabby does not want to type "HER BODY" for security reasons
Steph: 'vigil thing made me think'
Gabby: 'DO WE NOT HAVE MANY DAYS LEFT'
Steph: 'we need to come up with something soon'
Narrator : also it's friday
Space: what we need
is a third heaven calendar
Gabby: 'ARE WE IN AGREEANCE THAT WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH WITH THE THING'
Narrator : can one of you be my slave
Forrest: .......
Narrator : and make one
Gabby: 'BECAUSE I WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THE THING'
Space: yeah gimme a sec
Steph: 'i do too'
Forrest crafts a theory that the Board of Health is a front and the men involved
are meeting for some other purpose
Forrest writes this shit in his notes
Gabby: 'FOREST IS PROBABLY APATHETIC, AND I DON'T WANNA ASK JAIME RIGHT NOW BECA
USE WE WATCHED LAW AND ORDER AND I WANT HIS ENJOYMENT TO BE UNTAINTED'
Forrest and proceeds to make a blog post about his theory
Narrator : roll mind
Space: what's the date in 3rd heaven
Forrest: rolling 3d20 +1
(
11
+
11
+
10
)+1
= 33
Narrator : it's october
Gabby: 'SO IT'S P MUCH UNAINMOUS (SP?)'
Narrator : it's a solid post
Steph: 'i was gonna do it w/ or w/out what anyone else thought'
Narrator : just pick a date
Forrest EN-TER
Gabby: 'GOOD. AS YOU SHOULD.'
Narrator : and gets some shit, coasting off of his newfound popularity
Gabby: 'IT'S A NOBLE THING'
Forrest , now that his quota is fulfilled, checks the conversation on his Bottle
d Water Post
Narrator : mostly confusion
because
this random
canadian town
no one knows what
Oh, people are rallying right the fuck behind this post.
Narrator : There is a circlejerk of epic proportions.
Gabby: 'NEXT CHANCE WE GET WE'RE GONNA DO IT'

Forrest oh good, let the people shoult

Forrest soon the suits in their high towers will hear them, and spit the not-act
ually-from-mountain-springs-mountain springwater out their mouths
Gabby: 'FRICK WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINGS, NAOMI DESERVED BETTER'
'*THINKS'
Steph: 'im glad that i am not the only one who thinks this'
Space: http://teamup.com/ks11f3df36e95dd623/
Gabby: 'ME TOO. SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE REALLY PURITAN ABOUT THIS SORT OF THING AND
IT PEEVES ME THE H*LL OFF'

'SORRY IF THAT LANGUAGE WAS TOO COLOURFUL'

Forrest decides to text Steph about his findings in the Board of Health
Space: switch to 'month' view
Forrest: 'Hey.'
Gabby: 'I JUST FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT THIS ISSUE'
Forrest texts with heavy attention to proper punctuation
Steph: 'oh forrest just texted me'
@forrest: 'hi'
Forrest: 'I did some looking into the Board of Health'
Gabby: 'MAKE SURE HE'S DOING OKAY, I KIND OF WORRY ABOUT HIM LATELY'
Narrator : i forget
did mr. mu say you had twelve days yesterday
Steph: 'what did u find'
Mobile L: Gabfact #269: Gabby learned the uppercase in text thing from her grand
parents
Mac D.: yyyyES
Space: yeah
Mobile L: S
Steph: @gabby: 'forrest is forrest is forrest'
Forrest: 'Well for starters they don't do shit and everyone dislikes them,'
Mobile L: 'I STILL WORRY KINDA THOUGH :-/'
Gabby: f r i ck
Forrest: 'It's also composed entirely of wealthy public figures, including the m
ayor.'
Space: set it up so that you can make events different colors
i'm powerful
Narrator : well not WEALTHY
but pillars of the community
Steph: 'one of the snake fucks is on it'
'ditto hall'
Forrest: 'Yes you told me this.'
Steph: @gabby: 'forrest is forrest is forrest is forrest is forrest is forrest'
Gabby: 'OKAY SHEEEEESH, TAP THE BREAKS GIRLFRIEND :-P'
Forrest: 'Official records say they haven't done much at all and mostly just mai
ntain the status quo.'
Gabby just makes the most sparse, infuriating typos
Steph: 'i can go on ad infinitum'
@forrest: 'rich old white man club'
Gabby: 'MRUH'
Forrest: 'Basically. I'm sure the Board of Health thing's just a front.'
Steph: 'so'
'how are you and jaime doing'
@forrest: 'for snake club?'
Forrest: 'You said only one Snake Club member was on the board.'
Gabby: 'WE'RE GOOD, WE ATE SOME PHO AND STUDIED AND I MADE HIM WATCH LAW & ORDER
'

'YOU SHOULD ALSO WATCH LAW & ORDER'

Steph: 'one that we know of at this point'
'i do not really trust many authority figures by now you see'
Forrest: 'It's possible, but it could also be possible that it's just an excuse
to get away from their wives or spend money on stupid shit or whatever.'
Steph: @gabby: 'and you should read in cold blood'
'did you ever read in cold blood gabby'
@forrest: 'would they have like club minutes just lying around somewhere? we cou
ld find them potentially'
Forrest: 'Maybe in whatever building they hold their meetings in.'
Gabby: 'NO, WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? IS IT A MYSTERY MURDER THING?'
Steph: 'let's see if these sort of things are free for public perusal'
@gabby: 'it is true crime'
Gabby: 'OH GOOD. I LIKE STUFF LIKE THAT.'
Forrest: 'Hang on, I'm at my computer, I'll look that up.'
Forrest proceeds to look that up
Gabby: 'DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE IT AT THE LIBRARY'
Narrator : what if you can just look at their minutes
no
Steph: 'i'm sure they do'
Forrest: 'Yeah, no.'
Steph: 'we have in our employ a person who is literally called 'The Outlaw''
Gabby: 'GOOD. GOOD.'

'STEPH HAVE YOU EVER HAD PHO BEFORE'

Forrest: 'Who, Hair Gel.'
Steph: 'no, is it good?'
@forrest: 'ya'
'Hair Gel'
Gabby: 'IT'S REALLY GOOD AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME NEXT TIME YOU COME OVER'
Forrest: 'Are you implying that he break into the building and steal the records
.'
Gabby: 'GRANDMA IS REALLY GOOD AT MAKING IT'
Steph: 'that sounds good'
'your grandparents are really nice'
Mobile L: awww fuck, 10 mins remain
Gabby: ':-)'
Steph: @forrest: 'well saying that would be incriminating'
Space: noo
Narrator : wrap it up
Gabby: 'MAYBE LIKE'
'SOMETIME I COULD GET THEM TO TAKE YOU GUYS TO BINGO NIGHT'
'THAT WOULD BE REALLY COOL'
Gabby just
Gabby the sheltered-est, most innocent ideas of a good time
Forrest: 'I do not believe that a thuggish high school student has the capabilit
y to successfully steal government records and not get caught.'
Steph: 'oh my god'
'imagine forrest playing bingo'
@forrest: 'i'll run it by him next time we meet'
Forrest: 'I do not want to see his face on the local news tomorrow.'
Gabby: 'YES, LET'S BRING HIM. MAYBE HE KNOWS SOME TEXAS BINGO SECRETS?'
Steph: 'we can see what he thinks about it all
*'
@gabby: 'all learned from his time at the bingo rodeo or whatever the fuck it is
they do there'
Gabby: 'TEXAS TWO STEP'

'OR WAIT UHHHHHH'

'WAS IT HOLD EM?'
'SOMETHING'
'I NEED TO ASK MY TEXAN COUSINS AGAIN;
'THEY KNOW ALL THE TEXAS STUFF'
Steph: 'you have texas cousins?'
Forrest: ....
Narrator : texas cousins
the worst kind
Gabby: 'YEAH, A LOT, IN THE DALLAS AREA. THEY DON'T EVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT, EITHE
R. ALWAYS POSTING PICTURES OF CHALUPAS AND STUFF ON THEIR FACEBOOK'
Narrator : i said wrap it up your motherfuckers
Forrest puts his phone away and retires to his bed,, staring up at his ceiling
Steph: 'nice'
'thanks gabby'
Steph turns her phone off, setting it gently down
Steph looks out the window at the rain
Gabby: 'OK, SEE YOU GUYS, PLEASE DO MAKE BINGO A THING, IT'S FUN'
Gabby beeeep
Gabby:
Gabby thinks about overcoming death and smiles a little, looking fondly at her s
leeping grandfather
Space: memento mori
Narrator : alright how was that
Gabby: no, forgetto mori
Mobile L: Was SEXY
Mac D.: did forrest get a social link with lao
also i missed third heb
Space: that session was good
i missed third heaven too
Mobile L: I also missed it
A good return
Mac D.: i look forward to playing it in ANOTHER seven months
Mobile L: Glad I got to do a motive rant
Those're always fun
Narrator : he has a social link now
any perceptions changed in regards to the npcs
Forrest: boo yah -slaps on Cool ShadesMac D.: i have a a fairly solid theory on what Ms. Lao's deal is
Narrator : what is it
Mac D.: no, no, I will not share...
Narrator : http://www.jkp.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/800x800/9df78e
ab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/9/7/9781849055253.jpg
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51fHGV3DjiL._SY443_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
http://www1.alibris-static.com/things-tom-likes-a-book-about-sexuality-and-mastu
rbation-for-boys-and-young-men-with-autism-and-related-conditions/isbn/978184905
5222.gif
Space: i am excited for the vigil
Narrator : no, you have to tell me
i'm the gm
i'm entitled to know
Mac D.: nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Mobile L: Gabby is gonna show Jaime and Steph her secret fapbook
Space: Things Gabby Likes
Mac D.: not forrest though

Space: forrest doesn't deserve to see

Mobile L: Forrest would just stop her from publically masturbating
Mac D.: forrest would just kinkshame the shit out of her
Mobile L: aaaaa babbery, g'night
Mac D.: nite nite
Space: nite nite nite
Narrator : tell me you fucking cuntbag
Mac D.: NAWWWWWW
Narrator : please
Mac D.: in the discord
Space: no
in the rabbit
Mac D.: no
Narrator : hold on
Mac D.: ALSO tell me
does the Mansion Roll20 take place after Third Heaven
Narrator : https://rabb.it/Eldritch
Space: its like concurrent
Narrator : concurrently
Mac D.: ah ok
space let Canada Jojo take place in the future
so we can have Grown-Up Suzy Freeman
Space: i'll approve of this
Narrator : i would have to play her
Mac D.: would you do it
Narrator : yes
Mac D.: that's my BOY