By Inessa Kotkov

The Anxiety of Cultural Differences

The very moment a person decides to start life in a new country, they can experience vast

cultural differences. For instance, all throughout adulthood, I vividly remember being caught in

unfair social situations, harsh moral dilemmas, and inescapable life circumstances. Frankly, these

tragic events always left me wary and distrustful of other people. As soon as the plane vessel

landed on North American shores, I felt as though I had lost my true identity, and severed

contact with the outside world. All of a sudden, I felt extremely lonely, separated from dear old

friends, who kept me company and supported me throughout the years, especially in dire,

troublesome times. But now our bonds had weakened, and they existed far away; in an alternate

universe, where there was no hope of ever returning. It took a while to accept this fact, but I

found ways to ease my mind of stress in the process. I gradually began to immerse myself in

works of fiction, reading novels, watching foreign movies, and listening to classic music. Maybe

I was searching for answers, or perhaps it was merely a distraction, but I realized then that I had

no intention of adapting to the traditional ways of doing things this strange, foreign world. But in

order to survive, venturing outdoors would be inevitable. (Of course, it‟s not as if I had sufficient

resources to live in some kind of self-imposed exile, anyway!)

After divorce with my husband occurred, I lost my sense of initial purpose. Only my

children were there to remind me, that I still had a duty to fulfill. It was that keen sense of

curiosity, that brave willingness to explore and adventure that made life seem worthwhile. It was

a foolish, almost child-like passion, but looking back in retrospect, I do not regret it at all.

Thanks to this chosen path, I was granted the privilege of attending UWM -- a wonderful,

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prestigious school. If I remained dormant and idle, I would never encounter the rare persons who

attend this school as well. For the first time in over half a decade, I could break free from the

shackles of solitary confinement, and engage in various social activities. My intention was

renewed and clear: I resolved to find a place in society where I definitely belonged. I simply

grew tired of living like a slave or zombie, being subjected to internal and external forces. I

wanted to regain some vestige of my former self, an understanding of freedom, and feel like a

genuine human being again. One who could face herself in the mirror, without feeling pain or

remorse. I embraced mortality, the fact that I had vices and flaws, was guilty of committing sins,

making errors of judgment, among other things. For once, I was only concerned about living

according to whim, and taking pleasure in the little things that bring joy. To do this, I rejected the

status quo, and lost interest in trying to climb up the corporate ladder. To me, this was not as

important as spiritual or artistic fulfillment. It was too shallow -- besides, I have virtually no

influence in the political sphere, so what was the point of mulling over these issues to the point

of madness?

At first, I was daunted by the mystery of America. I was confused about capitalism as a

viable economic system. All my life I‟ve been told it was cruel and unjust, prone to victimizing

and exploiting lower classes for the sake of financial gain. I heard horror tales, of tired children

being forcing children to work in dreadful, unsanitary conditions and whatnot. But I always took

these words with a grain of salt. I wondered if it was really true, or just a matter of perspective. If

they are indeed guilty of taking advantage of the weak, then how come some of these victims

express gratitude for working at these places? The reason is plain and obvious: their alterative

fates are much worse: crime, prostitution, scavenging through trash, ad nauseam… In other

words, it‟s impossible to tell, without getting to know them personally, and setting foot in their

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shoes. I concluded that these economic ideas may work perfectly well (at least in theory), but

they‟re still being helmed by innately flawed human creatures at the reins. It could easily spin

out of control, if the original commission is ignored, or executed in an unintended manner. As

intelligent, sentient, autonomous beings, we are motivated and driven by a plethora of personal

agendas, so taking ideas and bending them in directions favorable to expected goals is to be

naturally expected. I mean, if everything was carried out in a strict, bureaucratic fashion, there

would be constant public outcry. It‟s nigh to impossible to do things without making sacrifices.

For example, government is very similar to the profession of a director, or a fine artist. We have

specific ideas for our vision that we want to replicate in actual conditions, but unfortunately we

are always limited by funding, resources, censorship, and the capabilities of those involved in the

project. In other words, it‟s really a collaborative effort, and modern civilization tends to have

disagreement on a broad range of topics. When this conflict arises, due to inner disputes, matters

are usually settled with either compromise, or destructive war campaigns.

Now, to establish a state ordained by a class of ruling elite, it requires the sanctioning of

many laws, and in some cases, the loss of individual autonomy. This is precisely why the

pyramid hierarchy is such a popular system in the construction of working economies. However,

I can never fathom such a place existing, because people are willing to fight for freedom, not to

mention that our society is also dependant on random contributions and lucky discoveries.

Despite the fact that my roots are of Russian heritage, and my culture is seen as “odd” by some, I

can still relate to fellow citizens who reside in the same nation through basic, universal laws.

That is, the simple willingness to let others be. To gain better understanding of different cultures,

we need to shatter these barriers of language, make compromises, negotiate, and learn to

delineate truth from illusion and fantasy. In other words, we need to broaden our horizons, and

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see things from different points of view, instead of narrowing it down and living on the fringe.

With this done, we can erode the fears that drain our conscious will to love, and embrace the

inner self that we secretly want to project. I believe ignorance and fear-mongering is the true

enemy of this progress, because the only purpose they seem to serve is to fan the flames of war.

The truth is, the native origin of a person can only reveal so much in their actual character. You

can make assumptions based off impressions, but it will never be absolutely right unless you get

to know them on a personal level. Besides, human beings, as instinctive, smart creatures, are

known to question themselves, and even resort to deception. It‟s too dangerous and risky to

assess personalities this way.

Yaping Tang, in her essay “Polite but Thirsty”, wrote that American schools make

exceptions and allow students to eat food in the middle of class. However, in her own native

land, it‟s considered rude to eat in the presence of other fellow students, who may be hungry,

malnourished or starving. I understand that class stratification plays a major role in civilized

society, but it„s very common to upset less fortunate individuals this way, even unintentionally.

Of course people will adhere to rules regardless, but I assure you, the moment they see an

opportunity without fear of consequence, they will strike, and try to enact revenge. The school

board knows that in order to suppress this vindictive rage, they cannot grant specific rights to

people. Americans, on the other hand, have busy lifestyles: attending school, working multiple

shifts at jobs, caring for children or siblings, and so on. They barely have time to spare to

reflection, let alone time for a meager snack. As a result, fast food is preferred choice when it

comes to satisfying that craving to eat. However, fast food is problematic, as the ingredients and

substances within the food itself can be extremely addictive and hazardous. But we don‟t really

pay attention to this detail, as long as our stomach agrees to stop growling.

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 Russians, on the other end of the spectrum, do maintain a single job, mostly because they

discovered exactly what they‟re so passionate about, or simply follow the path of their mothers

and fathers. This is especially common among law enforcement, teachers, and fire departments.

In addition, it seems discrimination is worse in America. In Russia, I never had to worry about

people treating me in ways based off my gender or ethnicity, but here, I get paid less, even when

I take the job equally as serious and perform more tasks. In Russia, the issue of race is virtually

irrelevant, especially in jobs focused around mental rigors. In poorer, undeveloped third-world

nations, it is not uncommon to see slavery, even now in the 21st century. I believe we can

attribute this problem to rich CEOs, bankers and executives, who all know that in order to make

profit, it‟s crucial to reduce spending, in spite of human decency. This is why American jobs are

outsourced: Americans demand a certain quality of life, and it‟s usually quite expensive

compared to it‟s foreign counterparts. If living expenses were equal throughout all realms, I can

guarantee you there would be less incentive for the Fortune 500 to invest and work abroad.

Furthermore, since Buddhists and Hindu adherents see no value in materialistic gain, they have

little understanding of Western values. If they‟re being exploited, they probably don‟t know it,

and figure the money they‟re receiving is fair and balanced, when it‟s actually extremely low,

and close to nothing.

Needless to say, in destitute countries, survival is of the utmost importance, taking

priority above all other matters. For example, eating species of animal, such as canines or felines

may seem questionable to Americans, but be perfectly acceptable and necessary in some other

countries, who must resort to doing this in order to feed their family. In other words, most

Americans don‟t understand what it feels like to be utterly hopeless or desperate. Our modern

generation is brave in almost every regard. In terms of ideologies, practice, and even the art and

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style of living itself. We have difficulty maintaining a healthy balance, drawing lines between

hobby and passion, etcetera. The final example for cultural difference lies in the structure of

society itself. In Mother Russia, social services, college, hospitals, and doctors were all handled

and paid for by my monthly check. In return, living was affordable, and I had no trouble paying

for rent, gas, water, electricity, or other basic, essential utilities. It was a smooth operation run by

the government, instead of private organizations, whose only interest was gaining revenue. Here,

in America, living is urban cities is costly, and people easily get stressed out and put in arbitrary

situations, such as eviction. In this world, money literally rules supreme.

Knowing this information, it seems cultural differences happen because of the way our

unique societies function. However, personalities can be independent, or strongly influenced by

culture. It‟s variable and depends on many contributing factors. Several years ago, I had to deal

with a xenophobic Spanish woman, who thought I was an idiot because she could not understand

or relate to the way my culture handled affairs. But another Spanish woman came to visit me in a

hospital when no one else could. Before then, I was treated very badly by racist black neighbor,

then I met an African American woman who treated me as if we was a family member. Finally,

I‟m glad fellow students help me carry heavy objects to the gym, be polite and open doors in

public places, and on rare occasions, give free treats or presents to my beloved children. In

conclusion, we simply cannot judge people based off their cultural identity alone. It‟s like

looking at a compass: you can see the pin point in a general direction, but it won‟t tell you

exactly how many yards away your destination is, or what you might encounter there. The best

approach is to spend a lengthy amount of time getting to know someone as a unique individual. I

always enjoy listening to teachers from a diverse range of backgrounds. They present interesting

points of view, sometimes different than my own. But these ideas are still mature and valid --

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they deserve all the right to express opinions on these subjects. I don‟t know what the future

holds in store, but the trend does seem to be heading towards globalization. One possibility is

that cultures will become assimilated and homogenized into a single entity. Whether this is a

good or bad thing, remains to be seen, but I always welcome the prospect of peaceful co-

existence, as long as we retain our civil liberty.

Work Cited

Yaping, Tang. “Polite but Thirsty”. MATSOL: Intercultural Communication,1996