“Ruth Murphy Eulogy”

May 16, 2010

Matthew 20:1-16

I suppose that none of us are surprised to be here today. We all saw it coming. Aunt Ruth’s health has
been declining for a long time. He health has been declining but her smile never did. I suppose none of us
are surprised to be here today, but our lack of surprise doesn’t make our pain any easier. We’re here
because Ruth Murphy was someone special. Each of us knew Aunt Ruth in a different way but for every
one who knew her, Ruth was special. As I talked to Mike, Linda and Brenda on Friday it seemed as if
there was no one who didn’t like her and for Ruth Murphy, there were no strangers, just friends she hadn’t
met yet. Shoot, I married into the Henline family and from the very first day we met, Aunt Ruth treated me
as if we’d been friends forever. Every one of us here has our own story to tell about Ruth. For some of us
she was our Aunt, for Uncle Bill she was a life companion for 49 years, for others she was mom, grandma,
a wonderful neighbor, coworker or friend but all of us have lost something of great value.

Ruth loved everybody and her own children told me that many times their friends would stop by and go to
see their mom first. The neighborhood kids would stop to see Grandma Ruth and Grandpa Bill, she’d give
them cookies and, of course, everyone would stop to admire Ruth’s flowers.

Ruth did all the things we hear that mothers do, she loved her children and tried desperately to take care of
them even when they were well into adulthood. She worried about Mike. She worried that he needed a
good woman in his life and she worried about him when he was working his way through some rough
patches in his life. Ruth worried when Linda had cancer and she wanted to do whatever she could. She sat
with Linda through chemo and she’d tell Linda jokes to keep her spirits up. Ruth wanted to be strong for
Linda and put up a brave front, but when Linda wasn’t around she shed a lot of tears. Ruth grew up with
Christian parents and went to church as a girl but didn’t go much as an adult. Still she knew church was
important and made sure to send her kids to church to learn the things she might not be able to teach them.

When her kids went out, Ruth never could sleep until they were all home. She could always hear
everything that went on in her house so no one got away with much. I’m told that even though she would
always wait up for her kids, that didn’t mean that they got away with breaking their 8 o’clock curfew.
Mike stayed out a little too late once. Once. A locked door and night spent sleeping on the porch cured
him and all that was said the next day was, “Did you learn anything?”

Ruth’s kids weren’t her only kids. Ruth helped to raise the neighbor’s kids and she helped raise her
grandchildren and she virtually adopted a neighbor who didn’t have parents to teach her all the things that
she needed to know. Katie even moved in with her for a while. Everyone will remember the food that she
cooked. I suppose that working in a school cafeteria gave her extra time to practice but from the best chili
in the world, to her famous peanut butter fudge, to banana bread and lemon bars and on and on Ruth
cooked for everybody and made eating a memorable experience. For many of you, especially her children
and grandchildren, it was Ruth who taught you to cook and we hope you learned well because the rest of us
are counting on you to remind us how good some of those recipes are.

Even when she was in pain there was always a smile when someone came to visit. Ruth never complained,
even when she had good reason to. Instead, she was always ready with a joke. Ruth never felt bad but was
most often, “fair to middlin’” and she often found a way to play practical jokes on her kids. Ruth didn’t

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cuss or speak ill of other people and through her example she taught her children what was important, how
cook and garden, how to live through hard times and how to get by with “not much.”

We will all remember what Ruth Murphy was to each of us. Mike will remember sweet-talking her out of
telling his Dad the things he’d done before Bill came home from work and her constant reminders not to
forget to mow the front yard. We will remember the times she just sat on the front porch and watched the
world go by or the pleasant drives through Silver creek Park or down River Styx Road. Her family will
remember picking blackberries together and trips to West Virginia with the bologna sandwiches that she
packed for them and all the times they had to stop to take pictures. They will remember the shopping
expeditions that Ruth planned, whether it was mapping out the garage sales they would visit on Saturday
like General Patton planning his strategy before a battle, or whether it was waking up at 3:00 am to go
Christmas shopping. We will remember the love that Ruth had for her family and the times we spent
together at her house on Christmas Eve. Her children will never forget the time Ruth was showing them
how to butcher a chicken and then watching it run, headless, so that they could never find it again. There
they were, laughing, with nothing left but the head. They won’t forget Inky the crow, a wild baby bird that
Bill found. They raised it and kept it in the back yard and taught it to say simple words. Generally it just
called to Ruth and called her “Mama.” They won’t ever forget seeing Ruth chasing a German Shepherd
with a broom because it had Inky in its mouth nor will they forget the victory as that dog surrendered their
feathered sibling in the face of and angry mother with a broom. No one who watched will forget that Ruth
had her driver permit five times but, as the kids put it, she was simply not meant to drive.

Ruth never forgot West Virginia and always thought of it as “home.” With the exception of Rod Stewart,
much of the music of her life reflected her youth in West Virginia, Elvis, Alan Jackson, and the Statler
Brothers. She was especially fond of hearing “Coal Miner’s Daughter” by Loretta Lynn, “Pink
Carnations” by Marty Robbins and “Country Roads” by John Denver. Many of these were on tapes (some
were 8-tracks) that they listened to in the car until the kids had every verse, every word, pop and hiss
burned into their memories.

In all she was, Ruth Murphy was a woman who loved her family. She was devoted to her husband and to
her children and she never stopped loving her brothers. Ruth and Harry were, and will forever be, Sherm
and Mabel but not one of us can leave today doubting that we were loved. Ruth Ann Murphy spent her life
loving and teaching so that those around her would know the things that were important. In her life, Ruth
showed us how to live and in her death she showed us how something about dying. In her last days, Ruth
knew that although she had grown up hearing the words of the Bible, she also knew that she had unfinished
business with her God. She knew that God was real and that God loves us, it’s almost impossible to be
from West Virginia and not notice the gifts that God has given to us. As she faced the end of her life, Ruth
wanted to be baptized with Bill and to join the family of Jesus Christ. Just a few weeks ago, it was my
great honor, in front of a room full of family and friends, to pray with her as she accepted Jesus into her
heart as her rescuer, redeemer and friend. I am certain that she did this in a very public way on purpose.
Ruth spent her life showing all of us the things that were important in life and this was one of those things.
Ruth realized what many of us knew, that there is more to this life than what we can see in this world.
Love is bigger than what we can see and lasts longer than the few short years that we are given. Jesus
came to earth to pay the penalty for the things we have done to offend God. Because God is perfect, God
cannot allow any imperfection to enter into his home in heaven but by coming to earth and becoming one
of us, Jesus was able to pay our debt to God through his death and resurrection. By accepting Jesus, Ruth
joined God’s family and because she did, we know that she now lives in heaven with Harry and everyone
else who has asked Jesus to rescue them. In Matthew 20, Jesus told a story that reminded me of Ruth.

The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard

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"For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in
his vineyard. 2He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.
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"About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4He told
them, 'You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.' 5So they went.
"He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. 6About the eleventh
hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, 'Why have you been standing here
all day long doing nothing?'
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" 'Because no one has hired us,' they answered.
"He said to them, 'You also go and work in my vineyard.'
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"When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Call the workers and pay them their
wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.'
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"The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. 10So when those
came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius.
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When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 12'These men who were hired last
worked only one hour,' they said, 'and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the
work and the heat of the day.'
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"But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a
denarius? 14Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you.
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Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?'
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"So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

Some of us found Jesus early in our lives and some later. Some, like Ruth, might have heard about him,
but didn’t join him until the very end of their lives, but through this story, Jesus tells us that no matter when
we find him, the reward of his love and goodness, and mercy is exactly the same.

In her last days, and in one of her very last acts, Ruth Murphy showed us one more thing that we needed to
do. I know that she would invite all of you to join her in following Jesus and to accept his free gift of
rescue so that she might all see all of you again in heaven. None of us have a guarantee about tomorrow so
I hope that you will not put this off until a more convenient time. I pray that you will see me today so that
you too can be a part of Jesus’ family. One day we will see Ruth Murphy again and on that day, I’m sure
that Ruth will have something yummy and warm out of the oven waiting for you.

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All Scripture references are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.