$

f& i x . . . . grab your weekly fix

SEXY
First issue
SUMMER
loo ks for
99p!
F lo re n c e *
& th e M a c h in e
$
LIFE SPECIAL:
Careers Advice
ROB ROPER / ONE TRACK MINDS / JAKE MILLS / KYLA COSTA
MONEY MAKERS / STEAL THEIR STYLE / SUBDUE STRESS /
YOUR SOCIAL CALENDAR SORTED / SHOES /
 hi
$Grab your Editor’s letter
Drunk texti

... welcome to the first

ng - we’ve a
ll done it!

issue of Fix, for all things student! This week Fix has

weekly fix...
spoke to some huge names, sourced some seriously sexy
fashions for summer and even tracked down some
precious life advice for you lovely readers. Page 39 sees
the beginning of a new feature looking at student

*
smoothness within the UK; ever died inside after
reading your sentbox in the morning? Well and truly
shown yourself up in front of halls? Get in touch and
maybe we’ll be able to Fix your predicament by
publishing the full story / facts... or just trigger some
more cheeky giggles! Speaking of smoothness to get the

* ball rolling, this week, an hour before giving a 35% of

the year beast of a presentation for my course, a friend
and I decided to bust out some serious moves to A1
(yes, you heard right, 90s cheese fest). Our
presentation was on ‘The Simpsons’ so we were all

*
dressed in matching (men’s) Homer Simpson tshirts.
Upon recreating a cheeky knee twizzling move from the
‘Be the first to believe’ live video I dislocated my knee,
ended up being sighted by half the uni in my pants
trying to click it back into place, got escorted out of the
toilets and to A&E in a wheelchair and spent three
hours, dressed as Homer Simpson, sat having to explain

*
how this had happened to the medical staff. D’oh!

1
Nikki *
 *
*

*
$
* What’s onboard this week...
*
M
- Revi usic
Life ew
- Flore s - 45-46
- Coping with stress an
depression - 7-9
-Life Special: 10
Debt 11-13
Money Makers - 14
d

51-52
R
nc
Machi e and The
ne
- Rob - 47-48
- One oper - 49-50
Track
Minds
&
Career Advise - 15-16 -
w s
NxeNews 3-4
Jake Mills - 17-18
Kyla Costa -19-20

- Fi kemon is

-W
e
- D b Time
- 10
ig T
Fu n
&
his Waster
Fashion
- Lush Leggings - 22
- Daring Dresses - 23-2
- Looking Good baby!
25-26
4
- Po 5-6
back
!
*
us - hings - 38
T s-
37 - Steal their Style - 27
-

y
3 U

t
-D 9 ni h

u
as t 28

a
oN

Be
40 ot C
ross
aug
ht - Bags of style - 29
- Ev
ents Thi
sL - It’s all about the
-S -4 ine SHOES - 30 s
o c
- H ial Ca 1 - -
Eye

&
42 g
oros lend erin
-5 c
Thi opes - r - 43
a
m ould ty le
ngs
... - 3 5 -44 - S 2 ing
S
3
54 31- ir Rais
a es
- H 4 st Hav
3 u
33- auty M

*
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- B 6
3
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2
 fix NEWS
_*
*
Psst... *
* CELEB *
GOSS Calling all yo
the kind
perma-tan)
w ho
.
u

Ch
ba
ha
spy
ng
ec
rg

k
ai
ou
ou
n
t
t
hu

fa
nt er

tfi
s (and we don’t mea
with David Dickinso
ng ers.com for listings
n
n and his
that
ay - these
Which heart-throb has recently ta kes and typos on eB

*
inclu de sp el lin g m is d
admitted “Yes, I look like a tranny”? fo r ne xt to noth ing ‘cos no-one can fin
items go this genius
! Sim pl y ty pe in what you want and
them per!
as chips... if not chea
‘vamp’ than vampire!
gets to work. Cheap

*
Robert Pattinson, more

WHAT AN ARSE * *
EPIC LIFE FAIL

I magine your worst

skin day. Times it by
a hundred and you end

up in a position similar
to this poor soul.
Sixteen year old Sam
Cummings woke up to
discover that his spots
had had a party and
merged to spell ‘arse’.
Nicknamed ‘Craphead
Slaphead’ by his
classmates the unlucky
lad said “I’ve always
had bad skin and didn’t
think things could get
*
The bootylicious
biomechanics in the
‘microwobbleboard’ sole
tone calves and thighs, work
what your momma gave ya,
improve your posture and
reduce stress on the knees
and back! Is there anything
they can’t do?!
‘The Times’ has named them
‘the ultimate footwear for
healthy feet’ and the range
has been extended to include
a mens range too, though

_
having a boyf with more
any worse.”

*
toned pins than you just ain’
3 Gutted. cool.
 FREE WILLY what a load of
ACTUAL MADNESS
spy

A
man was admitted to
Southhampton
General Hospital after
getting his penis stuck in
a steel pipe and getting
cut free by a team of
seven firemen with a
TWeeT
A round up of some of our fave celeb
metal grinder. tweets that put the twit in twitter!
Definitely a different
concept to the Mark Hoppus, of super hot
‘pipecleaners’ we Blink182 fame is green with
remember from our arts envy:

*
and crafts days, the man “So jealous of plants. WHY
became trapped in his CAN'T I PHOTOSYNTHESIZE
?!?!”
steely den after he
became ‘aroused’.
The man in question
Ke$ha tweets:
wouldn’t explain how he
“Side boob just
had got into this pickle! changed my life”
Here’s to hoping this is

_ *
FIT
a Family Guy reference!

*
legs Cheeky stalking doesn’t
seem to wash too well with
... see ya later gym fees Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz:
“This lady in starbucks is
The GENUISES behind ‘fitflop’ footwear have fake texting and taking a

*
brought out a range of sandals which offer us picture of me. I wish she’d
just ask cos I think she's
a ‘workout while you walk’, erm hello get us getting only pants and
k involved... like NOW! Claiming to have a ‘gym shoes”
built in’, minimal effort can now mean perfect
pins, and who can argue with that?! This
fantastic footwear range starts from around
£35, which is a snip of our gym fees girls!
TWeeT of the week

*
m
Check the
Katy Perry
“Just saw two hummingbirds fighting... I think
website at they were trying to mate...1 turned a different
e fitflop.com for color & I'm not on ANYTHING. Nature's

your nearest
AWESOME! ” ...shortly followed up with

*
stockist or “ On second thought I think I just witnessed a
hummingbird rape... She wasn't havin none of
’t online retailer that. ” 4
Think your job’s safe @DavidAttenborough!
3
-

It’s the news drea

“Magika
SPL ASH
rp used
... nothin
happened
”
g
Po kém
of Pokémon never really left. Move
over Mr Tiddles, who wants a cat when
you could have a pet Pikachu following
you around and zapping your
enemies?!
This is why the release of Pokémon
HeartGold and Pokémon SoulSilver
looks set to be
the best news
we’ve heard
since all those
Let’s extensions we
got on our coursework
face it, life without during the snow!
Crammed with exciting
Pokemon would be new features both
games allow hands-on
GHASTLY! Take no training with the use of
the DS stylus and touchscreen and come with a
CHANCEYs and get all Pokéwalker pedometer (as shown above)
allowing you to transfer your fave Pokémon to
over these fab follow your steps in real life!
Every step you take
new releases contributes to your
Pokémon’s evolution and the
today! more points you collect the
more mini games you can
unlock, - clever huh? Can
A massive part of our childhood
you sense the
was dedicated to these little critters;
procrastination potential as
the trading cards caused temporary
much as we can?! Totally
insanity in kids and were the
revamped and enhanced by
newsagent’s dream, we pretty
amazing new graphics, the
much all had the wallchart and had
new games even allow
SMTV’s Pokérap nailed down to a t.
multi-player mode where you
And, if we’re going to be honest
and up to three friends can
5 with ourselves here, the dream
--
news f i x

ams are made of...

mon is BACK! “D ig
A nd
le tt u
in g
just
s ed
en er
m in
DIG.
a
t”
l, is

-
embark on your
Pokémissions. Another super
cool extra to the new games
It’s not just us geeking out
is a little feature called VS
recorder where you can over this news, you guys were
record your Pokébattles and
replay them later! That epic
win against Gyrados will
more than eager to share your
never grow old!
The games mix in a selection of the old skool
Pokémon with others from the various versions
nostalgia...
released over the years, with new trainers, new Matt Barks, a student at the
University of Glamorgan:
missions and new areas to explore. Keeping up to “My favourite pokémon is Bulbasaur
date with the times, you also use Pokégear in the - the first one i ever had. It shared
game which acts like a smartphone and allows you extreme risks with me as we tried
to collect information about Pokémon but also the and failed in trying to pass Mount
Moon hidden in my tray in Year
phone-numbers of the trainers you battle who, if you Seven!”
beat them, could call at anytime to demand a
rematch!
(“Erm... wrong number, sorry!”)
Charlene Walton, a graduate
The game can provide hundreds of hours of play from the University of
(a.k.a. procrastination central) in a lovely blend of Chester:
the best bits of Pokémon, what’s not to love?! Critics “My favourite pokémon were
Rapidash and Ninetails, - bit
have complained that there isn’t really much of an lame but they were my
evolution in the storyline from HeartGold and favourite animals at the
SoulSilver’s predecessors, but in a time... I was only 11!”
story just so darn good does there
need to be?! Put your Heart and
Soul into these amazing new Jack Atkins, a student at
games, both released 26/03/2010 Liverpool Hope University, had a
and available at Game few choice words to say about
Magikarp:
for the DS and DS Lite
“Ah Magikarp, the prepubescant
at a cheeky reduced ball of bridled rage, He does f**k
price of £32.99! Don’t all but sulk, hits puberty/evolves,
MUK about! turns into Gyrados and kills
EVERYONE!”
6
COPING WITH
$S­ TRESS
Suicide is now recognised as one of the major causes
of death in people aged 15-44, and it’s estimated a
whopping 17 MILLION of us suffer symptoms of
depression.
I
s it any wonder? We live in a
crazy society of perfection,
expectation and demand. There
are constant pressures facing us;
be those of money, career or self
image, all reinforced by messages
spread via the media and those
around us. This can force severe
stress into displaying symptoms of
depression... and so this horrific
cycle continues. Approximately
5000 people per year commit
suicide. Life is no easier for
students, Studentdepression.org
suggest that “There are many
exciting and enjoyable aspects to
being a student. But the same
challenges and changes which
make student days potentially so
life-enhancing can also present
opportunities for depression to
intrude. Depression is the most
common issue for which
university counsellors are
consulted by students.”
There are many causes of stress which
differ from one person to another. Emily,
an animation student and blogger for
studentdepression.org, reveals the source
7
of her stress and depression lay in
problems at school, feeling left out at
home, getting bullied and constantly
comparing herself. This led to her suffering
from narcolepsy and paranoia. Marion
Casey, a student counsellor, and Anna
Hinton, health visitor, suggest some of the
common reasons students become stressed
are exams, deadlines, the pressure of paid
work and studying, poor time
management, debt, problems with
accomodation, relationship / friendship
problems and pressure from parents.
Sound familiar?
5000 people per year
commit suicide
“Very often stress results from an
accumulation of many different pressures
which build up gradually without us
noticing,” they suggest.
Stress can manifest in many ways;
physically you may notice problems in
breathing, experience dizziness,
headaches, clamminess and problems with
your sleeping pattern. Emotionally you
may feel drained, unable to cope, angry,
frustrated and scared. According to Marion
and Anna, “Students often complain that
when they feel stressed they find it hard to
concentrate, feel tired all the time,
perhaps start to miss lectures and
deadlines and feel they can't cope.”
 Life fix

“The key to success is to think

positively; take control of your stress
and anxiety by learning effective
techniques to combat it” 8
fix Life
Individuals who display extreme symptoms
of stress suffer from weakened immune
systems and heightened activity in the part
of the brain which triggers depression.
Symptoms of depression may be fairly
similar to those of stress, but more
specifically consist of persistantly sad
feelings, loss of energy, loss in appetite and
interest, changes in your sleep pattern and
body weight and extreme feelings of
worthlessness, tearfulness and even those
of a suicidal nature.
Students often feel like
they can’t cope...
Help is at hand though, there are several
facilities available to help you take a load
off. Thesite.org suggest a few cheeky stress
busters including getting good sleeps in,
maintainting a healthy diet, laughing lots,
taking at least half an hour to relax at the
end of the day, massages and orgasming
(!!) And who are we to say no to those
suggestions?! Look after yourself, talk
issues through with friends, family or
specially trained staff who can be found in
your university. Emily suggested some of
the key things which helped her overcome
depression were trying to address her
problems and fears, tackling suicidal
thoughts, confiding more in friends and
family, being kinder to herself and keeping
herself entertained and distracted with
things she wanted to do.
Individuals who display
extreme symptoms of stress suffer
from weakened immune systems
Studentdepression.org is a great website
on tackling depression and stressful issues
encountered in student life as it is made
for students by students.
A little bit of stress is good for the body and
can help motivate us (think that ‘night-
before’ deadline panic mode) but when it
starts to become more extreme that’s when
problems may occur. Most of us find
ourselves in moments of stress and despair
but it’s vital to recognise that we can turn
this around through the power of positive
thinking and determination; it is possible
to sort it out.
9
Dodge depression and
solve stress with these top
tips from student
counsellor Marion Casey
and Anna Hinton, medical
advisor.
1take
“The key to success is to think positively;
control of your stress and anxiety by
learning effective techniques to combat it.
Relaxing bodily tension in order to reduce the
physical sensations of stress is a good place to
start. If your body is free of tension your mind
tends to be relaxed. This helps you concentrate
and study, take decisions and solve problems.”
2 time’
“Be kind to yourself. Give yourself ‘me
in which you can choose what you
want to do: Rest; do nothing; try a relaxation
technique, massage or yoga; have a long hot
bath; spend time with friends; treat yourself to
something special. Taking proper breaks and
eating well do help to combat stress.”
3 “Confront the problem, try to stand back and
look at the problem carefully. Break it down into
manageable parts. Talk it through with
someone else, brainstorm solutions, or get help if you
need it. Try to manage your time effectively and learn
to say "NO". Avoidance won't make the problem go
away and can often make it worse. Leaving
everything to the last minute is a major source of
stress for students.”
4 “Sport and physical activity helps you to
relax physically and also releases
endorphins in the body which produce a real
feeling of well-being.”
5 “Talk about it, write about it, shout or moan about
it: expressing your feelings can help to relieve
stress. Acknowledging a problem to yourself and to
others can be the first step in dealing with it.
Sometimes having a good cry or bashing a pillow can
release emotional pressure and calm your feelings of
anxiety.”
For more advice please visit:
www.studentdepression.org,
www.thesite.org
or call the NHS 24 hour hotline:
0845 4647
fix

10
 _
ut *

DEBT
C
*
out of your life
As a nation we owe
approximately £697.5bn.
*
And it’s not likely to get
paid off in a hurry, we
have been forecast
billions more imminent
debt as the shocking
economy continues to
munch away on our tax
revenues...

11
Students in the U.K. have the
highest levels of debt across the
* Life
globe, tallying up over £5000 of
fresh debt per year. It’s estimated
that students entering university
in 2010 will accumulate debts of
over a whopping £23,000. Debt
levels have increased by a
shocking 10% in the past year
alone.
There’s nothing too
cheerful about that.
Or the fact that getting
loans to help with debt
is becoming more difficult, and rising
levels of inflation mean that our student
loan repayments are likely to get even
bigger. Mike Kielty of The Times admits
“For students the outlook is bleak and is
going to remain that way for at least the
next year or so.”
Kelly, a student from Huddersfield
agrees: “I have graduated from university
*
fix
this year, and am lucky enough to have
found myself a job but I owe over
£20,000 to the Student Loans
Company, plus interest. I also have a
£1500 overdraft in a student account
(now a graduate), which is maxed out,
and am £200 into another overdraft on
another account. The summer before
starting university I managed to save
over £1000, which is a good idea. But
four years on, saving is impossible as I
have debts up to my eye-balls.”
Jenny Worrall, a student in Manchester
agrees, “I'm a medical student on a six-
year degree course which I began in
2007. I'm currently on track to graduate
£36,000+ in debt and to earn a starting
salary much lower than many of my
peers.”
These tales are becoming all too familiar.
However, don’t despair, read our handy
*
tips to fix up all things financial.
- A great place to start is suggested by
DirectGov; make a list of exactly what you
owe and rank it according to ‘priority’ and
‘non-priority’ debts. Priority debts should
be those like rent, council tax, utility bills
and mortgage / loan repayments. If you
don’t cough up for these you may
be at risk of losing your home.
- When paying off credit card and
storecard debt prioritise them
in terms of paying off the
most costly ones first. That
little maxed out card that
allows you dream shoes
despite living in debt city
packs a punch of a 39.9%
APR interest rate, - for
everything you buy you’re
paying almost double back.
Makes those reduced
Geigers seem less of a
bargain in hindsight 12
eh...
fix Life
- Consolidation loans may seem the most
appealing option; who hasn’t switched on
the TV for some trashy daytime glory and
*
seen the countless adverts promising to
shrink your debt repayments into one
‘manageable chunk’? But as Scott Kays,
author of Achieving Your Financial
Potential reveals: "The biggest myth about
debt-consolidation loans is that they're
easy to get.” If you already have a slightly,
erm, colourful credit background the
majority of companies will take one look
at your ratings and do one. Not only this,
your repayments may seem smaller, but
these companies typically crank up the
interest rates, so instead, you end up
paying more. To them. Chuck the fact the
loan is secured to your home in there and
there is a minor recipe for disaster stewing
away right under your nose, that not many
people recognise the true extent of.
- Have a shop around and way up what
options your bank and others offer for
students. Many offer interest free
overdrafts for post graduates within their
first three years of graduation and
reduced APR loans to help redeem your
*
financial affairs. Don’t feel you have to
13 remain loyal to one bank, make them
work for your money; you’ve worked hard
enough for it!
- Be wary and do your research when
applying for new credit cards; yes the
small print may go on for 6 pages but
these fine details may cost you hundreds.
Recent reports into 12 of the biggest credit
card companies found that all of them
used practices classed as ‘deceptive and
unfair’ by Federal guidelines, and
wouldn’t pass the Credit Card Act of
2009’s criteria. Loopholes in set and
variable interest rates can be a real sting in
the tail: don’t think your bank will spare
you.
- Make a budget. And stick to it. Do you
really need that weekend splurge in Urban
Outfitters? Would roller cola really not do,
just for the odd occasion? Make a list of
what you typically spend in a month and
assess where most of your
dosh goes. Did you really
need to spend all that?
Nah, thought not.
*

Cos it’s just not about ‘Smart Price’ this summer...
1 6
Instead of forking out for a high price holiday
why not save a few pennies and sign up for
the new biggest thing, couch-surfing! Couch
surfing is a free service offered by
students prepared to exchange free hospitality all
over the globe. Fancy a trip to Morocco? Go crash
on a couch there, simply be prepared to sacrifice
your sofa and hospitality in return.
Couchsurfing.org allows you to make a
profile and arrange a trade with a host in the
venue of your dreams according to their likes and
dislikes, and obviously the state of their sofa!
2 eBay. There is literally nothing you can’t
sell or buy on this beautiful, beautiful
site. Financial BLISS!
3 Go green - don’t just bin old mobiles or ink
cartridges, most supermarkets provide
incentive schemes which offer you points
and money off in exchange for your unwanted
items. Boots in particular offer hundreds of
clubcard points in exchange; ooh hello there
Barry M stand.
4 Instead of chucking those leaflets that
fester behind the door away have a
look through-them; often they are jam
packed with details of special offers and
coupons to save you precious pennies.
5
Blogging - whacking some
advertisement banners in your blog
can earn you some sweet profits
from companies, get on Google AdSense to
get the ball rolling.
life fix
Top *
10
$
money saving
tips *
*_
Shake yer booty... that’s right Car booty! Think
‘Flog it’, ‘Car Booty’ and ‘Bargain Hunt’ (minus
orange faces and tragic fleeced attire). Those
cringeworthy CDs and combat pants from 1999 may
just attract some interest...
7 Don’t leave stuff on stand-by, think of the
words of comedy gold and wisdom from
the energy saving guy off the TV ad: ‘Red
means stop... stop leaving me on stand-by!’
8 Sell yourself (and no, we don’t mean like
that). If you’ve got a talent, flaunt it;
babysit, dogwalk, design things for
companies, customise clothing... sell online and
put yourself out there. Sell your designs or
photography on Redbubble.com, or Etsy.com is
a great venue to sell your handcrafted goodies,
- every boutique started somewhere!
9
Try something crazy. We all heard of Alex
Tew a few years ago who sold pixels as
advertising space to companies for a dollar
a pop on his ‘MillionDollarHomepage.’ He’s now a
millionaire. Why can’t this happen to us? There’s
no reason why not . If you’ve got an idea, go for it.
10
Make a bit of cash in your spare time
by filling out online surveys.
YouGov.co.uk allows users to sign up
to a range of surveys for different companies
which give a penny for your thoughts. Not
literally just a penny.
14
 * _
*

Yeah, we might be rocking a credit crunch but

that’s no reason why you shouldn’t get the career
of your dreams. It may be tough, but Fix is here*
to make sure you stand out from the crowd with
clued up career advice.
* Our university lives, - three years of
chillaxing and tallying up an almighty
level of debt pretty much all courtesy to
TopShop and double Jaegers. The last
thing on our minds are career concerns,
but the reality is in this tricky economic
climate it is more important than ever to
assess your options in both choosing a
career and in enhancing your
employability.
_
*
The good news..
- The approximate starting salary for
*
those of us with a degree is around Ultimately, it’s mega important to
£20k. weigh up your options. But we know
- Individuals who have completed a how busy you are, with that
degree course are 90% more likely be
dissertation and eyeing up those new
employed - think about it, completing 3
years of solid study (if not more) proves
shoes, so we’ve rounded up a few
your dedication. ideas of where to go next for you.
15
*
 * _
Some options available for
Post Graduates: * In some cases post-graduate study may increase
-Work Experience / Internships
Though often unpaid, experiences like these are
priceless; you can get the low down on possible
careers and gain work experience (which looks
fab on your C.V.), improve skills university has
provided you with and potentially bag a job at the
end of it all. Graduate Talent Pool allows
graduates to search and apply for internships and
experience within several major U.K. companies,
who post vacancies on the site.
- Starting a Business
This may sound a little crazy but many
universities offer their graduates help and various
services to help their ideas blossom. Another
great service designed for you guys is Flying
Start, a service run by the National Council for
Graduate Entrepreneurship which offers support
for students up to five years after their graduation.
You can sign up for free workshops, entrepreneur
programmes, speak with other graduate
entrepreneurs for advice and gain access to
information about grants and funding.
- Graduate career fairs
Career fairs are an excellent place to explore jobs
in the areas that interest you. They are a vital step
to take in widening your opportunities and scope
of careers in seeing what exactly is out there.
Some fairs have job recruitment opportunities
within them meaning not only do you get a cheeky
day out, but the chance to come home with a
brand-spanking new career as well!
Prospects.ac.uk provide lists of fairs taking place
across the country at both graduate and post
graduate level.
- Graduate Job searches
Prospects.ac.uk offers a service which allows you
to search different areas of work across different
areas of the country you specify. It also offers a
list of all companies which offer post graduation
positions, so take a look and see if any tickle your
fancy. The world is your oyster! * - direct.gov.uk
* _
Your careers
fix speaks to some savvy students looking to hit
the big time...
life fix
- Postgraduate study
your likelihood in getting employed in a specific
sector. It can also make you stand out against
competitors in applying for positions. If this
interests you shop around for a course which
entices you; some unis offer discounts and
sponsorship to help with costs. It’s also a good
idea to have a look at financial options your bank
offer; certain career paths quality for a £25,000
interest free overdraft, others for low APR loans.
The council also offer sponsorship and funding
options, for example the Arts and Humanities
Research Council are currently holding a
competition offering awards to those studying in
this field.
Unsure what to do next? _
No worries, sometimes it just helps to sit down
and talk it out with someone. Prospects.ac.uk
offer career consultants to help you with C.V.
issues, covering letters and provide advice and
coaching to help you sail from education to
employment, along with a Prospect Planner which
allows you to assess what kind of career would
suit you best.
There are hundreds of options available to you;
don’t panic. Take a gap year, gather some life
experiences, take up volunteering etc. By trial and
error you’ll something you enjoy, and passion is a
massive key to success. BBC Radio1 Switch
suggest the key to figuring out your ideal career
stems from a little something called ‘transferrable
skills’; your passion for sweet talking may lead to
a career in public relations or your amazing nights
out may lead onto a career in party planning and
events management. Whatever you shine at,
there’s an opportunity out there for you. Even if
you take a career in the complete opposite
direction to what you set out to study, a degree is
a degree, and ladies, this puts us in an excellent
position in the job market. Hurrah!
Useful websites:
- prospects.ac.uk
- graduatetalentpool.direct.gov.uk
- flyingstartonline.com
M
fix life

Meet...

17
JAKE MILLS
For more information and to follow Jake’s progress become
a fan of ‘Jake Mills’ on Facebook or follow him on Twitter @
Jakemills1.
We catch up
with JAKE
MILLS,
Liverpool’s
hottest new
funnyman as
he talks uni,
crazed
grannies and
ninja cats!
Tell us a bit about what you
do:
I’m a student studying media at
Liverpool Hope University, as well
as a stand up comedian.
Has university changed
you and the way you
perform on stage?
Definitely, if it wasn’t for uni I’d
never be doing stand up
comedy. The tutors gave me the
confidence and contacts I needed
to get a headstart and really helped
me. Going to uni was one of the
best choices I’ve ever made.
“I get a buzz from
making people laugh”
How do you juggle doing
gigs and your studies?
I have no idea! Uni is my priority at
the moment, I’ve worked too hard to
let it become second best. Gigging
at night and working during the day
is working so far, but my social life
is feeling the strain!
What inspired you to get
into comedy?
I’ve always got a buzz from
making people laugh, it’s one of the
best feelings. I never saw myself as
a stand up though, - it was only
when I went to uni that I took part in
a comedy course ran by the
Liverpool Comedy Trust and I’ve
never looked back since!
Who would you say is your
favourite funnyman?
Richard Pryor and Bill Hicks are two
of my favourites - I like comedians
who are clever and don’t have to
swear or be crude to be funny.
Where was the first gig you
ever performed?
It was during part of the Funny
Business course I took part in for
the Liverpool Comedy Trust which
was mainly for family and friends
but the first time I ever told anything
I had written to the public.
What’s the best reaction
you’ve got from a gig?
Any laughs feel like the best
reaction ever! I once got a standing
ovation from a group of chavs at a
gig - they must have seen me as
one of their own!
“Going to uni was the best
What are your goals
for the future?
I’d like to become a well known
comedian and to go into TV... not
sure what to do, presenting maybe...
might as well give it a go!
What’s the most
star-studded thing to
happen to you?
I once went to Groucho’s Bar in
London which was full of celebs. I
had to act cool,- I’m not great in
situations like that, I take it too far. I
think I asked James Cordon what
his name was and then asked ‘So,
what do you do James?’ We were
outside another club too with
paparazzi there, that was cool,
though they put their cameras
down when they saw me...
What’s the most exciting
thing you’ve read about
yourself?
The most exciting thing was when I
saw my first interview in the paper - I
stood in Tesco with the page
‘accidentally’ open waiting for
someone to recognise me. They
didn’t.
choice I’ve ever made”
What’s the funniest thing
you’ve ever seen?
I once saw a woman get run over by
an old lady on a motorized scooter,
she didn’t only knock her over but
ran over her legs too! It was
amazing, the old woman didn’t
even flinch! I should probably state
at this point that the other woman
was ok. Also ‘Ninja Cat’ on YouTube
had me laughing for days.
What advice would you give
to other students interested
in comedy?
Don’t. I could do without the
competition. Seriously though, if
you want to do anything like this
you have to give it a go. It’s a
business where you don’t know if
you’ll make it or not without trying.
Also, don’t give up too quickly;
having a bad gig doesn’t mean you
can’t do it. You learn a lot more from
a bad gig than you do from a good
one.
Catch Jake in action in the
Liverpool Comedy Festival, “Quak-
ing in their Ugg Boots” on May 10th.
18
Kyla Costa * Speaks to Fix about
presenting, fame, Lara
$* Croft and whole host of
wisdom...
Tell us a bit into the trap of paying more attention to one
about what you do? interest! I’m just one of those really pedantic
I’m currently a student people who live through their diary.. I find
radio presenter that you have to be like that, my brain is like
determined to break into a sieve at the best of times so forward

the national radio scene! I
have just made my first TV
Presenting showreel and would really
like to go into that line of work too.
Where are you studying?
I’m a final year student at Middlesex
University studying a BA in Theatre Arts.
What are your goals post graduation?
Oh wow! Where to start? I’m still trying to break
into national radio and it’s no easy feat but I’m
determined, - where there’s a will there’s a way!
TV presenting is my ultimate goal but I need to
get some more experience under my belt first.
“Without Uni I wouldn’t
*
planning is a must!
What first inspired you to get into
presenting?
Believe it or not, it was purely accidental! I
went to the first MUD (our radiostation)
meeting when it started up as I had an
interest in working behind the scenes. I went
on air as a guest on a couple of my friends’
show and practically took over, that’s how it
all began!
“I’m determined, - where
there’s a will there’s a way”
What’s the biggest thing you’ve done so
far? Any claims to fame?

have achieved any of this”

The most glamourous thing has been either
presenting Adam Ficek from Babyshambles
on stage at my first uni summer ball, or when
Has going to University changed you and I was filmed as an Xfactor style judge for
what you want to achieve? ‘Battlebite’. I recently interviewed Andrew
Absolutely! Without uni I wouldn’t have Lang, the director of ‘Sons of Cuba’ due in
achieved any of this or discovered such a cinemas soon and I’ve just completed a trial
passion for presenting. It’s provided me with a as a presenter for ‘Popcorn’, OH!TV’s new film
new set of skills and a career path I otherwise review show at the East London Film
wouldn’t have considered. Oh, and an amazing Festival’s premier of SUS. I’ve met tons of

*
network of friends who give me continued
support and belief in my high-flying
aspirations!
How do you juggle studying and
presenting?
It’s a matter of planning ahead and being
19 organised with your time, - it’s too easy to fall festival, - make sure you go watch it!
famous people; I worked the Edinburgh
Fringe last year so I met loads of comedians,
like Simon Amstell, Omid Djali, Jack
Whitehall and worked for the 4 Poofs and a
Piano from the Jonathan Ross Show. My
friend Nicholas Winterhas just won Best
Director for his feature film ‘Breathe’
‘Breathe’ at the London Independant Film
 _ Life fix
* *

What’s the most exciting

*
thing you’ve ever read about
yourself? What’s the best piece of
Probably the blurb written under advice you can give to
my school leavers’ photo; ‘Most people interested in
Likely to be Lara Croft.’ making it in presenting?
You have to be determined,
and in order for that
Do you have any advice for determination to exist as
third year students feeling powerfully as it needs to, you
the pressure? have to have passion. Like
Try not to freak out! Set time with any job in the
aside for your work and allow performance industry , you
yourself time for socialising and have to expect and
friends.. trust me it will make a emotionally prepare for
big difference to your health and knock-backs because yes,
state of mind! they do happen - you can
ask any household names
and I can guarantee they will
all say they took many
knock-backs before they got
a foot anywhere near the
door. It helps to be positive;
whatever hapens, always
remember to learn from your
experiences, good or bad,
and use them to inform your
future actions and decisions.

“Whatever happens, always *

remember to learn from your
experiences...” $
* 20
21
 fashion
£28, Miss
Selfridge

£10,
Miss Selfridge
£28,
ASOS

£20, £16.99,
TopShop River Island

_
*_ *
22
* £19.99, River
*
*
Island Bargain

* ARCH
M *
U S T
M *
V E S
HA * * *
Daring
* *
*
* *

Hot
New
£19.99, Republic Season £38, TopShop £19.99, Republic

23
* *
 fashion fix
*
*
*
* Sexy
*
£40, Miss
Selfridge

*
£28, Dorothy Perkins £35, TopShop Zip

Dresses
* The hottest the high street has to offer, at a very cool price

*
*

Editor’s Pick: £35, Topshop

Great for day or night
- don a pair of sky
scraper heels for
£40, Dorothy Perkins £55, Lipsy drinks with the girls or

* $
throw on a denim
jacket and tights for a
sassy daytime look.
24
 i ng _
loo k * _
* GOOD
HOT key looks to kickstart your summer style
*
baby!

Hot weekend date $ *

Get this look: 1 2

1 Drape Waistcoat, £40 at 3

*
TopShop

2 Oxford Circus exclusive

dress, £75 at TopShop
4
3 Bangles, £8, ASOS

4 Cutout heels, £20,

*
www.bohoo.com

Layering
is HOT!

On the pull _ 1
* _
*
Get this look:
2
1 Grecian dress, £50 at Lipsy

2 Paparazzi Clutch bag, £45,

ASOS
4

* 3 3 Charm bracelet, £12 at

TopShop

4 Heels, £95 at Guess

25
*
 fashion fix
*
Chilling with mates
* *
1 2 *
Get this look:
1 Bleach Jeggings, £35 at
TopShop

2 Print Vest, £16.99, Miso

at Republic

3 Earrings, £8 at

* 3
TopShop

4 Pumps, £6 at
Peacocks

* *
4
Wear this top
with leggings
and heels for
day to night
chic

* * Off to Uni
1
Get this look: 4

1 Sweater, £28 at Urban

Outfitters

* *
2 Woven shoes, £18,
ASOS

3 Bag, £20 at Mango

4 Jeggings, £12 at
3
Peacocks

* 2
26
STEAL
*
THE _
..whilst Taylor Momsen
saving ££!

* _

Swing cropped black

vest, £10 at TopShop

*
‘Moto Biker’ black leather
jacket, £140 at Warehouse
Skirt as seen on

_ Black gummy
Taylor Momsen -
mixed tier pink
mini-skirt, £30 at
*
bracelets, £7, ASOS
TopShop

* *
Psst!
STYLE­ SPY:
27 In love with Taylor’s look? We are, and luckily for us (and our wallets) it’s easier than ever to bag
Taylor’s chic on the cheap as she launches her exclusive line at ‘New Look.’
 fashion fix

EIR STYLE
* * _
*
*
Keira Knightley
* Check shirt
‘Marc’ by
Marc
Jacobs
dress, £32 at Wayfarer
TopShop Sunglasses,
£80, ASOS

‘Ultimate
Magic’ 60
Denier Support
tights, £6,
Marks &
Spencer

‘Tate’ lace-up shoe

boot, £40, ASOS

70 denier
black
tights, £4 at
*
*
Red jumper, £10 at
Dorothy Perkins
Fearne Cotton
New Look
Knit
ankle
socks,

*
£7,
TopShop

‘Marg Kate’
black leather
boots, £69.99,
Clarks
Cut-off denim shorts,

* *_
£22, ASOS
28
Bags of_Style
* *
...so, so beautiful
Studs &
Suede =
HOT
$
*

* £39, Mischa Barton,

Additions Direct £80, TopShop

Horse clutch bag, £25,

*
£35, Topshop £18, ASOS
Miss Selfridge

Editor’s Pick
$
Now even your
laptop can look
cute with this
fab new range
of cases from
TopShop! £35, 
29 £29.99, River Island TopShop
 fashion fix
_
*_
‘Tactic’ shoe boot, ASOS,
£85

It’s
all about...
‘Priscilla’ sandal,
Boutique at TopShop,
£120 THE $ ‘Whitsey’ shoe, Aldo,
£80

SHOES
‘Addison’ wedge ankle boots,
Zip shoe boot, ASOS, £75
TopShop, £80

* _
* 30
‘Vanhove’ high heel, Aldo, £65

Smouldering
Hot tips
from the
EYES $
experts Become a star pupil in our masterclass...
S tep O ne :
Fo un da tio n is a Go ds en d *
Begin on a clear base, if there does happen to be
any rogue eyeliner / mini ‘panda eye’ syndrome
symptoms, foundation can always be applied over
the top to mask any tell tale signs. Top makeup
artists at Maybelline recommend to apply
foundation to the eyelids prior to putting on
eyeshadow, ‘This prep step will smooth the skin’s
*
surface and prolong eyeshadow performance.’
S tep Tw o :
L ay er ( bu t don’t c ake)
Pro MAC makeup artist Chantel Miller
suggests in achieving a sexy smoky eye to begin
with the top lid first to assess how far you want to
take the look: ‘The main idea of a smoky eye is that
it’s darkest around the lash line and it blows out
and blends into your natural skin.’ Start off with a
smoky grey eyeshadow, sweeping it across the top
lid with a soft brush to build up a medium tone
colour. Then use a smaller brush to apply darker
colour, such as a violet or charcoal shade, pressing
a small amount gently into the inner and outer
_
corner of the eyelid.
S tep T hre e:
H ig hl ig ht
Using a soft brush once again apply a pale pink
shadow / highlighter to the centre of the lid, and
gently blend the darker corners with the
* *
highlighter.
31
#
*
S tep Fo ur
Ge t Lo w
Using a small brush gently drag a minimal amount
of shadow along the lower lash line, - be very
gradual in your build up of colour to avoid a
*
clown-esque look.
S tep F i ve
Wa l k th e l in e
In order to create a really dramatic look flick a line of
liquid eyeliner behind your upper lash line and
extend in the far corner of your eyesocket. Using a
kohl eye pencil, line your lower lash line to join up
with this and smudge for a sultry look. Experts at
allure.com suggest ‘Creamy black pencil - wedged
into the upper and lower lashes and softened by
gently rubbing with your finger or cotton swab.’
*
S tep S i x
Fo rty l as he s
Curl eyelashes pre mascara application to really
open up the eye and add to your allure,
Maybelline pros advise ‘Always curl eyelashes
before mascara for a big boost to your lash look.’
Apply mascara first to the top lashes, and then
wiggle through lower lashes to add further
definition.
*
R em em b er: K ee p li p s n u de
to av oi d l oo ki n g m ore b l oke y
tha n s mo ky !
 beauty fix

Tools of the trade

Rimmel duo, ‘Metallic
* Bobbi Brown eyelash
curlers, £14.50,
www.bobbibrown.co.
YSL ‘Volume Effet
Faux Cils’, 750ml,

*
uk £21, Debenhams
Pearl’, £5.49,
Superdrug

*
Editor’s Pick:
Built in smudger
for sex kitten Bobbi Brown eyeliner,
Bourjois ‘Gris
allure (and in ‘Caviar’, £14.50,
Paillette’, £5.99,
saving on cotton www.bobbibrown.co.uk 32
Superdrug
buds)
 HOT styles *
#
#
catwalk
Hai
Raising
r
straight from the

style
*

* *
Wave hello to Summer 2010 with this luscious look
Get a load of this month’s
super sexy style, - it saves
frazzling our locks with
straighteners
everyday and gives us an
extra twenty minutes in bed.
Yay to fashion!

GET THE LOOK:

The key to the success of this look
is to keep it fun ‘n’ flirty, not over-
styled. Blow dry hair, whack in a
side parting and tousle from the
roots using your fingers. Using a
curling tong, curl sections of the
lower half of the hair and ease
them into a more natural wave
using your fingers. Bang on some
hairspray evenly to finish to keep
your toussled tresses in check and
off you go!

Alternatively for super low

maintanence chic, wash, blow-dry
and thoroughly brush through your
hair before bed and style it into a
french plait. When you wake up,
ease through the hair with your
fingers to loosen the effect, spray
hairspray evenly in a fine mist from
root to tip and toussle for a five
minute fashionista look.

Style on tap
To keep your do looking fresh
and to add volume use water to
gently dampen and scrunch the
hair as the day goes on.

33
 fix
*
John Lewis ‘2325JU Curling
Tongs’, £15 at John Lewis beauty
Great tongs which come with a
free 3 year guarantee for
maximum curling potential!
Ceramic coated for salon shine
Cheap as
with varying heat settings up to
200°C, meaning all hair types chips!
won’t go wrong with these tongs!
Speedy heat up and includes a
free brush, comb and pack of
sectioning clips. What’s not to

#
love?!

* Trevor Sorbie
‘Beautiful Curl Beach
Hair’, £4.99, Boots
Great to pop in your
bag to scrunch up the
volume throughout the
day.

Andrew Collinge
‘Weightless Volume,

#
Thickening Hairspray’,
£4.29, Boots
Great lasting hold to keep
your mane in check, great
for adding volume to even
the most uncooperative
hair and protects from
humidity - win win!

*
Aussie ‘3 Minute
Miracle’ hair
treatment, 99p at
Superdrug
Treat your hair to a 3
minute miracle Herbal Essences ‘Curl’ Shampoo &
courtesy of Aussie, Conditioner, £3.40 BUY ONE GET
these wonder
sachets give life to
exhausted hair and
restore natural
# ONE FREE at Superdrug
Our mates at Herbal Essences have
done it again with this sweet smelling
combo guaranteed to turn heads and
health and shine. add definition to wavy hair!

Hot PRODS *
*
... boost your barnet
 Beauty * Indulge

MUST $ yourself... go
on, we won’t

HAVES * tell...

Our beauty buffs have done the hard work, so you can take it very, very easy

NEW *
*

From L-R: ‘Bourjois’ Makeup Remover Wipes £3.49,

‘Bourjois’ Cleansing Cream Makeup Remover
£4.99, ’Bourjois’ Fresh Cleansing Milk Remover
£4.99, ‘Bourjois’ Vitamin Enriched Toner £4.99,
‘Bourjois’ Express Eye Makeup Remover £4.99.

‘Bourjois’ have launched a fab new skincare range in time for summer which
covers your every possible need in a f i x with their affordable price range!
Great for girls on the go and suitable for all skin types these ravishing removers
are full to bursting with vitamins and cleansing goodness and promise to leave

* *
your skin glowing.
35
 beauty fix
* $ date streakier than a
rasher of bacon. Help
is at hand though fellow
sufferers, as Lush
launches it’s new
bronzing lotion which
builds up a sunkissed
glow whilst being
considerate to the
‘Charlotte Island’ environment, our skin
Bronzing Body tint, and our sense of smell!
£9.99 per 240ml at Infused with lemon to
Lush awaken your senses,
We’ve all had an cocoa butter and
unfortunate incident with organic oils, Charlotte
fake tan. Wondering why puts a welcome end to
the dodgy smell of questionable
biscuits has kept aromas and starts a

*
lingering around us all new love affair. With
day, or turning up to a hot us.

* Editor
’s
Gotta b Note:
than a
e ch e a
boob jo
$
per
Our favourite Passion Fruit Body Scrub girls! b
at The Body Shop is on special offer at a
cheeky £3 for a limited time only! This little
purpley pal is a top tool for exfoliating sexy
summer skin, removing dead cells and
reinvigorating circulation. It smells good
enough to eat what with it’s natual

*
ingrediants...and at that price it’s only
natural that we have to have it. Now.

‘Lovely Jubblies’ Breast cream, £14.99 per

$Special 100g at Lush

This clever new cream for Lush is developed
specially for the cleavage, claiming it’s blend of
oils can keep skin firm and supple in boob
valley. If all else fails, you do get to smell like a
Offer
*
dream and have an immature giggle at the
name...
36
 *_
WebTime *
Wasters
Cos ‘procrastination’ is our middle name...

r * *
spy
top 5 What’s been distracting you
guys from wholesome

*
educational goodness this
Many a time I have wondered just how the adverts week...
down the side of my profile page know so much
about me. The ‘Manchester? 21? Female? Single?’
adverts baffle me each time, how do they know?! “Play Him off Keyboard
Until one day ‘Facebook’ stopped trying to offer me
a new man, or its other favourite route of attack, Cat!”
cosmetic surgery (cheers for this Facey!) and Ah, will we ever get bored of him and
instead offered me something which became his little cat clothes? Doubt it, this
almost a sign that they have a) finally accepted the cute critter is far too catchy...
joke that is my love life and b) begun to think of
new solutions to the problem.
“Kenya”
Beardhats. Possibly one of the catchiest choons of
Here we see the all time. And watch those lil’ guys dance!
‘Grandpa Beard Warning: this song can and will become
Head.’ Interchangable a permanent fixture in your head and rile
moustaches also pretty much everyone within 3 feet of
you.
feature on the site for
customised beard
head warmth!
“Lord of the Rings
Check them out at Voiceover”
www.mypartyshirt.
Possibly the strangest but funniest
com/accessories/
thing we’ve ever seen. LOL.
hats/knit-hats
/beard-heads

“Chat Roulette Funny

Word Piano Improv #1”
of the ‘Chat Roulette’ mania has struck, and
let’s face it, we’d rather be laughing at
week: the world’s collection of weirdos than

“
Facebooker’s Remorse:
When you get really smashed and go on
facebook, you comment on everyone's status
and say stupid crazy stuff. You tell all the hot
chicks on your profile that you want them.
The next day you have a case of Facebooker's
Remorse and you delete all of your
comments!
” generation. Bless him.
starting that dissertation. And this guy
would rather sing to them. Actual genius.
“Hitmanbreakeroftheye’s
channel”
If you value your hearing / speakers
then we strongly advise NOT cranking
the volume to this fella. Songbird of a
 Dig This
fun fix

<3
<3 <3
<3 <3
<3
<3
<3
<3

<3
Student digs cramping your style? Funk up your flat with these beauts...
Heart frying pan, £5 at
Urban Outfitters
Our love for fried eggs
is no yoke. Get cracking
* Underwater Disco
Lightshow, £7.99 at
Firebox.com
*
in the kitchen and show This amazing little gadget is
your roomies just how battery operated, 100%
you like your eggs in waterproof and blasts disco
the morning... lights around your tub!
Bathtime will never be boring
again... fear not if your halls
don’t have baths, you can
drop this bad boy into pools,
hot-tubs and even ponds;
Dad’s koy karp are in for a
Retro Fridge
TREAT!
magnets, £10 at

Alcohol Shot Gun, £9.95 at

* Urban Outfitters
‘Cos comedy fridge
messages are
compulsory. Fact.
Gadgets.co.uk
Get yourself fired up for literal shots of
your favourite spirits with this weapon
of mass (or maybe messy) Great for all-

*
destruction! Fill the ammo section
with the drink of your choice and get nighters!
the shooters in... destined to be a
favourite at every house party.

Desktop Coffee Maker, £19.99 at

Firebox.com
Coffee, possibly the student’s best
mate. Hiding a messy night from
lecturers, powering through the
night to finish an essay two hours

*
before its submission... Thanks to
the guys at Firebox our caffeine
addiction just got mobile. And 38
installed next to the laptop.

fix fun
1 Febreze can and will be our
new best mate.
2 The skill of cleaning and
tidying for hours on end. Only
when a deadline is imminent.
3 How to Facebook stalk.
Everyone. A skill strengthened
during times of extreme stress
/ deadlines.
4 The ability to change our
body clocks. Before 1pm =
39
10
University
has taught
sleep territory, 1am = prime
time. Sometimes, hell, we
won’t sleep at all.
5 The art of blagging our
‘rents.
6 How to ask for student
discount. On everything.
Including penny sweets.
7 The true skill of economis-
ing. Bus fare can be saved by
walking 5 miles home in the
rain all for those extra pennies
*
*
things
us...
* *
for the weekend. Factors such
as food, warmth and personal
hygiene can also be sacrificied
for the same cause.
8 To never, EVER leave your
Facebook unattended.
9 That passing out after one
too many bevvies is a fate
worse than death.
10 That microwaves are the
best invention to be created by
man. Ever.
 fun fix

*
DO NOT CROSS THIS LINE
*
** ... too late, you guys already did! Your
embarrassing stories, exposed!
*
*
SPECIAL INVESTIGATION:
Crimes against smooth moving
Not’ music festival in
“Last summer I attended the ‘Y
grea t plac e to pull. We arranged a
Derbyshire hoping it would be a
where the theme was nautical;
big drinking fancy dress session
dres sed as ‘a day at the beach’ which
due to this i spent the day
on my head... Understandably, it
included wearing a wind turbine
drink all day to numb the shame this caused.
was necessary to
Just before the headline act we got talking to a group of
as ‘Pok émo n’ and as I was very drunk I decided to try
girls dressed
chus . Afte r plucking up the courage to
my luck with one of the Pika
smo oth moving rapidly went
ask for her number however, the
ond ed in a way I’d neve r have expected. The first
downhill: she resp ian. Secondly, the
was a lesb
hurdle came in the form that she was, in fact, her
was stoo d hold ing han ds with
Pikachu she ld
though, she then told me it wou
girlfriend. It wasn’t quite over yet h, to this day, I
she had TB, whic
never have worked anyway as

*
true or possibly the worst
have never worked out if it was
. Later on I also discovered she
Name: Olly Mayhew rejection in the history of mankind
oth moving get any worse than

*
had only just turned 16. Does smo

*
Age: 21
this?!”
Occupation: English and Drama

*
student at Liverpool Hope University

*
* * BEER ‘PONG’
“On a bit of a messy night out with
mates I ended up getting so wasted
that I accidentally stumbled into the
girls toilets. Bad enough, but I was that
drunk I ended up passing out in there,
getting locked in and having to break
out at 3am!”

*
*
Name: Ian Thomson
Age: 23
Occupation: Engineering and
CRIME WAVE Business Management Graduate,

*
University of Birmingham
“There was this super hot guy in my halls I
Name: Abi Welsh fancied called Mike, and one day when I was
Age: 21 sat in our kitchen he walked past the Editor’s Note:
Occupation: Business Graduate, window, saw me inside and waved. I made
After dislocating my knee dancing to
University of Durham the rookie mistake of assuming the window
was closed. It wasn’t. I yelled at full volume A1 it helps me sleep better at night
to my mate ‘HOT MIKE JUST WAVED AT ME!’, knowing that there are other smooth
walked over to the window and mouthed movers in the world! If you have a
‘HIII’ at him through the glass. He never

*
tale you think rivals these get in touch

*
spoke to me again, and now thinks I’m a
for a chance to get yer mug
weirdo.”
published!
 _*
eve nt s _

calendar

$ This month’s spotlight on LIVERPOOL

Aintree
Ladies’Day
Ladies’ Day is notorious for its frocks, frolics
and fame so grab your chums and a
champagne flute and come join Liverpool’s
ladies as they show us how to party!
Don your best dress and slip on those shoes for a
day of star studded style at Aintree race
course. Did we mention the most stylish
racegoer has a chance of winning an
amazing prize in the annual Style
Contest? Worth knowing about as the
lucky lady who scooped last year’s title
walked away with an ‘A-list lifestyle’
worth over £35,000 including a shiny
new car, Caribbean holiday and a photo-
shoot with Jeff Banks! Not only that but
famous Liverpool lass and WAG Colleen
Rooney was on hand to present the
award! Any of your (single) footballer mates with you
today Colleen?!
An all-round fun day, - chance your luck at a spot of
gambling on the daytime racing events, guaranteed
to raise a smile even if purely down to betting on the
horses with the funny names (it’s obvious ‘Mr Horse’

@
will win. Against all odds.)
Thursday April 9th, Aintree Racecourse,
Ormskirk Road, Liverpool.
Book tickets online now at www.aintree.co.uk
or over the phone on 0844 579 3001
 Asylum @ Bamboo: _ * fun fix
* Launch night
Liverpool’s only 7 star student experience launches
its doors to the public on Thursday April 15th with
what is destined to be a messy one!
Asylum offers us two floors of top tunes spun out by
Radio 1Xtra’s Resident B Naughty and Hedkandi’s DJ
Darren Cross in one amazing venue of ‘7 star deranged
decadence’.. oh and did we mention the drinks offers?!
Yes folks it’s quids in ALL night including £1 vodka
mixers, all bottles of beer £1, £1 alcopops and
sambuca and tequila lining our stomachs for a quid a
shot! A bottle of wine will only cost you a fiver, as will an
aptly named bucket of ‘Loony Bin’ (vodbull).
GET THERE EARLY AND DRESS TO IMPRESS to avoid
lockout for this lairy launch party! Cos it will
happen guys!

@ Bamboo Club (formerly Society)

Duke Street, Liverpool
£5 on the door, £4 with promo wristband
Student ID required Hot one

‘Off The Record’_

Launch night * Brand new live weekly
music event showcasing some of the BEST
unsigned talent around - you heard of them
here first! ‘Off the Record’ launches at the brand
new Igloo club (formerly Chaya) on Thursday
April 15th.
Igloo is situated central to an excellent array of
brrrr-illiant bars and super cool clubs and ‘Off the
Record’ promises to be off the scale!
This week’s lineup is headlined by the amazing
Queen Tantrum and features performances
from Rob Roper, Girl Got Lucky, Midnight
Playground and Night Parade. Round this off
with delicious drinks offers (including 2-4-1 on
yummy cocktails and all house spirits and
bottles costing just £2 a pop), your mates
and your dancing shoes and instantly you
have a winning formula for fun times!

@ Igloo (formerly Chaya),

St Peters Square, Liverpool
42
£4 on the door
Whack
on yer
wall

43
fun fix

44
 B B
Reviews
,<.>/
I Ellie Goulding - Lights
L ights is the debut
album from Brits
Critics Choice winner,
Ellie Goulding. She won
over Brits critics, but will
her album meet Fix’s
criteria?
Well, in a word, yes.
Lights lives up to the
expectations set by it’s
name; it’s simply
deLIGHTful, perfect for
blasting out on a sunny day
with a cold glass of Pimms.
Full of chillaxin’, soulful,
indie pop this album has
become the soundtrack to
our lives. Packed with
synthasizers, gentle chords
and swishing beats, Ellie’s
music has a definite feel of
45
B
What’s HOT this week
Florence and the Machine,
but somewhat less intense,
which is nice.
The smash hits ‘Starry Eyed’
and ‘Under The Sheets’
feature, personally however
‘The Writer’ and ‘Guns and
Horses’ steal the spotlight
with their heartfelt lyrics and
beautiful riffs.
Destined to be the
soundtrack to many
people’s BBQ season and
roadtripping triumph this
album is certainly worth a
spin.
Number of times lyrics from
this album have made it into Our verdict: One ‘Ell of an album
my Facebook status =
countless. And we all know
that’s the definitive signifier.
#~@:\I,<.>/ definitely worthy of Gould
UUUUU
The XX - xx
Again, super summery, crank
this in the background for a
cheeky chill.
I f you’re after something a bit Maybe signifiying the
quirky and different, this is extreme sad state of affairs
the badger for you. which form my life, but also a
Probably most famous for their surefire sign of a good
amazing remix of Florence and the choon, lyrics from this album
Machine’s ‘You Got the Love’ The have definitely graced my
XX’s album does not fail to Facebook status. And maybe
disappoint on the scale of awesome. even my ‘about me’ box.
Fresh beats combined with More than once.
beautiful raw vocals combine to Smooth.
make melodic, super chilled tunes.
#~@:\I,<.>/
Personal faves come in the form of Our verdict:
‘VCR’, ‘Crystallised’ and ‘Heart XXtra good!
Skipped a Beat’ (which you may
UUUU
recognise from 90210’s E4 promo).
B fix
B
music
UP - Disney Pixar
Disney have done it again; emotional
Up is an amazing tale of rollercoaster; there’s never
one grumpy old man, a a dull moment and we’d be
boy scout, and a mish lying if we didnt admit we
mash of crazed animals did ROFL. Heavily. At
they locate on their many parts of the film.
journeys, all in one little Definitely not just for kids,
house powered by a whack this bad boy on
million balloons. today for one of the
Pulls on the old heart funniest rides of your life
strings in a similar manner with excellent graphics

lN
as to when Lion King
cruelly took Mufasa from
us: within the first few
minutes we nearly shed a
tear. However it’s well
worth boarding the
(sorry we had to geek it up
there).
Take a load off, boycott
that dissertation and ignite
your inner SQUIRREL!
senses, NOW!

C
Our verdict: an UPlifting tail with lots of bite
Favourite Quote: Dug: “Hey i know a joke, a squirrel
walks up to a tree and says ‘I forgot to store acorns for
winter and now i am dead’ HA! It is funny ‘cos the squirrel
gets dead!” UUUUU

Shameless Channel 4, 10pm, Tuesday

Chatsworth Estate, possibly the
most wholesome family
environment we’ve ever seen. Not. but Libby and Carl
This week we follow little assume the worst...
Liam Gallagher as he befriends a Meanwhile Mickey
world war veteran, Reggie, and be isn’t the only gay in
warned - it’s a bit of a teary one! the village...
Hitting out against Libby ‘cos he Chatsworth is well -
misses Debbie, Liam takes comfort worth watching!
in his friendship with the old man UUUUU

Gossip Girl
What would life be like
without our weekly fix
of GG eh? Not even worth
contemplating. If you can
manage to tear your eyes
away from the amazing
wardrobes of Blair and
Serena, and then away
from the extensive range
of arm candy (mm Nate)
ITV2, 9pm,
Wednesday UUUU
goody!
Serena arranges an
assasin birthday party for
Nate but cunning Jenny
(whose wardrobe would
equally get a good raiding!)
tries to outdo her. GG’s
hottest couple, Chuck and
Blair, find their relationship
pushed to its limits by an
B

enough to be engaged in indecent proposal and Dan

the plot then you’re in luck, and Vanessa encounter a
this week’s episode is a problem...
Florence and The
Machine
Winner of the ‘Best British Album’ award at
the Brits with an album which has
stayed in the British Top 40 chart for nearly a

C
year, Florence Welch is taking the U.K. by
storm. A girl after our own heart, Fix takes a
look at her whirlwind success, her
inspirations and just a few of the reasons why
we love her so much.
‘Lungs’, Florence’s debut album, pretty much
dominates my iPod. With it’s orchestral sound,
rhythmic beats and haunting vocals it provides
a refreshing change from the mass produced
pop music culture we live in, this girl’s got soul!
“I want my music to sound like throwing
yourself out of a tree, or off a tall building, or as
if you’re being sucked down into the ocean and
you can’t breathe,”Florence exclaims.
And that it does. It’s an an intense mix of
fantasy, reality and gothic amazingness, made
up of kisses, cosmic love, hate, death, coffins,
girls with one eye, hope, stamping, one man
choirs, booze, harps, orchestras, wails,
astrology and genius.
Florence started songwriting at a very early
age; by the time she’d left school and begun
art school she’d already written songs such as
‘Kiss with a Fist’ and had high hopes to make it
into the music business.
She refers to herself as a ‘geek’ who
‘completely loses control’ when she’s in love,

47

which explains some of the
passion behind her work, but
also makes us, the smooth
moving contingency of Europe,
adore her.
“Everything is about boys!”
Florence laughs. “The whole
album is about love – and
pain. People see my lyrics as
crazy, but to me it’s an honest,
heartfelt album.”
Florence admits she writes
most of her best lyrics during
the times she’s hungover and
feeling rough (wish I could
function quite so well during
times like these) as these are
the times the free, crazy
thoughts appear in her mind
(this sounds more like me)
and get scribbled down in her
notebook.
“You’re lucid,” Florence
reveals, “but you’re not really
there. You’re floating through
your own thoughts, and you
can pick out what you need. I
like those weird connections
in the universe. I feel that
life’s like a consistent acid
trip, those times when things
keep coming back.”
Deep stuff.
The Machine, which
accompanies Florence’s
genius, varies from Florence’s
own bashing on the studio
walls to create rhythm (what
happened during the
recording of the haunting
‘Between Two Lungs’) to her
own work on piano or drums.
Her current ‘machine’
however consists of seven
talented musicians including
long time friends Tom Monger
who plays the harp, Chris
music fix
Hayden on drums, Rob
Ackroyd on guitar and
Isabella Summers rocking the
keyboard.
Her performances with the
Machine are unique, no two
are ever the same. Neither are
her outfits which are super
inspiring second hand, vintage
kitsch!
So she’s a down to earth,
alcohol embracing style icon,
who openly admits to
unsmoothness regarding the
male species. How can she
not go far?!
She admits her career fills her
with fear despite her tough
nature, - she’s nervous but yet
so passionate. Resourceful as
ever though Florence uses
these elements in her work.
“I feel things quite intensely,
which is why the music has to
be so intense. I’m either really
sad or really happy, I’m tired
or completely manic. That’s
when I’m at my most creative,
but it’s also dangerous for me.
I feel I could write some good
songs, or break some hearts.
Or tables. Or glasses.”
Since the release of ‘Rabbit
Heart’ in 2009 millions of
copies of Florence’s work
have begun circulating the
globe, and good on her we
say, for being true to herself
and adding an extra
dimension to today’s music
scene.
“It sounds so cheesy, but I
want to touch people. Not in a
weird way. I just want to help
them feel what I’m feeling.”
LEGEND.
48
 Rob Roper
on his beautifully melodic
sound, shell suits and success...
Describe your sound:
I'm an acoustic folk singer, but to describe my sound
better would be to explain why I write songs - I try to
write music that makes your emotions raw and will
“Such an
hopefully move you. Recently a lady
emailed me and told me one of my songs
made her cry, I didn't know what to say,
indescribable
- such an indescribable feeling.
You perform under different
feeling”
pseudonyms depending on your mood,
can you tell us a bit more about this?
I think one of best parts of being in a
band is picking the name, and as a solo artist I missed
out on the ongoing indecisiveness that picking a good
band name has. I decided as long as my own name is in
there somewhere I could play under different names
instead, the first was "Rob Roper and The Bowler Hats."
I'll be on the bus on the way to work be in a funny
mood, see somebody in a tacky shell suit and think "Rob
Roper and The Intergalactic Shell Suit from Mars!"
“I’d love to have an inspirational
impact on people”
OK, so if you were to pick a name RIGHT now, what
would you be?
‘Rob Roper and the Long Lost Puzzle Pieces.’
What is your main inspiration in making music?
My biggest influence is the people around me and my
life experiences. If I didn't have these I wouldn't have
anything to write about.
What got you into songwriting and performing?
I was a big fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and I still
am, they wrote some perfect music. My biggest
inspiration came in the form of The Libertines first
album "Up The Bracket" in 2002: I realized you could be
English, an ok singer and an ok guitarist and still write
songs that people would appreciate - I thought up to
that point you had to be at least part god to do it!
*
*
What has been the best gig you’ve played so far?
*
I once played a three song ‘open mic’ night to a small
crowd when I was just starting out as a solo artist.
Everybody had talked and muttered over all the acts,
but when I started to play my first song everybody shut
up and listened. That was nice.
What's your biggest claim to fame?
I worked for The Buzzcocks as a guitar
technician. I have a signed set list from them
somewhere meant for my mum but as a joke
they drew crude pornographic drawings along
with their signatures - she never got that set list.
Haha, what are your goals for the future?
I’d love to play some festivals and be picked up
by a label or something like that. Also, if an
album of mine made it into HMV I’d like to go in, pick it
up and put it in the number one chart shelf!
What message do you want your music to spread?
I want people to feel something when listening to my
music; I'd love to have an inspirational impact on
people similar to what The Libertines did for me.
Who are your favourite band(s) of the moment?
At the moment I’m listening to some Bon Iver, Simon
and Garfunkel, Fionn Regan, Tim and Sam Band with
Tim and Sam (we have our stuff produced by the same
guy) and of course, my all time favourites, The Beatles!
“My biggest influence is the
people around me”
And just because we can, what’s your:
Favourite word - To quote Demetri Martin - “I like when
good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell
anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’”
Favourite Pokémon - I wasn't really a Pokémon guy but
I loved my pogs - had the entire "Pog World Tour"
collection.
Last Download- An anthology of American folk music
which has a collection of around 100 songs from the
early 20's to the 50's, a must have for anybody who has
an interest in anything!
Ringtone - My ringtone isn't exciting and goes "Ring
Ring" but a friend of mine has the "Antiques Roadshow"
theme tune - I want it badly.
 music fix

*
“I want people to
feel something
when listening to
my music...”
­*
*

Check out Rob’s stunning sound through

www.myspace.com/robropermusic, or follow him on Twitter
@RobRoperMusic for updates, gigs and all round thoughts of this
amazing artist, - you saw him here first!
50
Meet
One Tra
For more details on
the boys’ escapades
and upcoming gigs
check them out @
www.myspace.com/
onetrackmindsmusic
or become a fan on
Facebook.
We caught up with one of Liverpool’s hottest upcoming
‘One Track Minds’ is made
up of Daniel Haigh (vocals &
guitar), Ryan Lewis, (bass &
backing vocals), Alex Shaw,
(guitar and backing vocals)
and Craig Meehan on drums.
Here’s what the lads had to
say when Fix cornered
them...
What do ‘One Track Minds’
sound like?
Kind of a like... a heavy
Stereophonics, or a mellow
Lostprophets.
Who are your influences?
Dan – The Beatles, Jimmy
Hendrix, Red Hot Chili
Peppers and Rocky!
Alex – Lostprophets,
51
Alexisonfire and Tool.
Ryan – Paul McCartney, John
Mayer, Picasso and Gail Platt.
Craig – Neal Schon, Richie
Sambora and Avenged
Sevenfold.
Haha, other than being avid
Gail fans what do you guys
see yourselves doing in a
few years?
Dan – Hopefully, making music
as a signed band for a record
company.
Craig – Touring the world
making music.
Cool cool, what's the best
gig you've ever played?
Alex & Ryan – The Cavern
Club in Liverpool, just because
it was the Cavern... and we
played awesome!
Dan – Our very first gig at
Rainhill High in front of 300 of
our friends, I was s***ting
myself!
Craig – In Wigan in front of
literally nobody. The sound
system was great though
Have you had any comedy
moments during gigs?
Crazed fans? Smooth
moves?
Alex broke his string on our
second gig ever, at the Citadel,
in front of a bunch of angry
Goths who wanted to hurt us
but were (probably) lovely
people.

ack Minds
bands to chat about smooth moving, stalkers and stardom...
What's the most glamorous,
star studded thing that's
ever happened to (any of)
you so far?
Dan – I guess signing a
contract to play for Everton
was pretty cool!
Ryan – My great Uncle is Ken
Dodd. No, he really is.
What kind of message do
you want your music to
spread?
We want people to be able to
relate to our music personally,
and just to be able to make a
difference
And just cos we’re nosey...
What's your favourite
YouTube video?
Dan- Anything Monty Python.
Craig- Llamas with hats.
What's the stupidest thing
you're a fan of on Facebook?
Ryan – Not being on fire.
Craig – Why do women need
watches when there’s a clock
on the oven?
Alex – When Ash from
Pokémon turns his hat around
you know s***s about to go
down.
Dan – I’m not on f***ing
Facebook.
Favourite Pokémon?
Ryan – Jigglypuff.
Alex - Bellsprout.
music fix
Craig – Bulbasaur.
Dan – Geodude.
What’s the smoothest move /
funniest thing you've ever
done?
Dan – Talking to an imaginary
crown when I’m drunk, and
dancing at myself in the mirror!
Who's the craziest
bandmember and why?
Ryan, as he has the humour of
a 55 and a half year old
gentleman…and chats general
BS!
Who's the biggest hit with
the ladies?
Ryan...SLUT!
52
fix fun
Horoscopes
Aries
**
*
Fix your fortunes with this week’s promising predictions...
Taurus
Mar 21 - Apr 20
The past few days have been a
struggle for you with a fiery
combination of relationship
issues and friends trying to get
that little bit too involved. Things
are looking up for you this week
however with a breakthrough
helping you tackle this.
Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22
Sometimes in life you have to
bite the bullet and do what
scares you. You’re not seeing
the bigger picture at the
moment Cancer, take the
chance, you never know, you
*
might just enjoy it...
Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23
A friend has a secret they need
your support with but be careful
how you react to the situation.
Other than that this week looks
set to be a winner; look out for
a sexy stranger who may
change your life in more ways
than one...
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20
Family looks set to be a big
influence on your week but don’t
get too caught up in trivial
traumas; set aside some time for
you. This week is a great
*
opportunity for you to really
achieve - get started on that
assignment, apply for that job you
fancy... grab life by the horns,
enjoy the ride and reap the results!
GeminiApr 21 - May 21
Well well well Taurus haven’t you
been a busy bee?! This month is
an excellent opportunity to show
those you care about how much
you appreciate them, as some of
those closest to you have felt the
sting of your buzzing schedule.
Get texting!
* results waiting to be grabbed on
Leo Jul 23 - Aug 23
Chin up Leo, the past couple of
months have been a shocker with
health and relationship issues
cropping up at wonderfully
inappropriate times. The good
news is that this dark spell is due
to end; with that one last push of
determination the results you
deserve will come flooding in.
Scorpio Oct 24 -Nov 22
The next few days give an
excellent chance to give that old
friend you haven’t spoke to in
months a quick call, chances are
there’s something in it for you as
well and not just fulfilling your
‘good friend’ quota for the week.
Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19
You’ve had to make some major
lifestyle changes recently, and
congratulations on mustering up
the strength to see them through.
Make sure not too push yourself
too hard though and spend time
with the people who care most
about you, you’ll see a positive
difference in yourself and your
way of thinking.
**
*
*
May 22 - Jun 21
If you have a major deadline
approaching or tasks to attend to
you may find your stress levels
heightened this week due to the
positioning of Mars. No need to
fret though, if you can achieve
during this there are some great
the other side...
Virgo
Aug 24- Sep 22
Be careful not to overlook those
nearest and dearest to you as
some friendships will get pushed
to their extremes this week; don’t
lose sight of what is important to
you. Relationships come and go,
mates are forever - sisters before
*
misters missy!
Sagittarius Nov 23 -Dec 21
This week signifies the end of
what has been a very boring
couple of months for you
Sagittarius, be prepared for hot
gossip towards the end of the
week which will place you in the
social spotlight, get you!
* Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20
A blast from the past has you
puzzled this week and you can
finally put old secrets behind you.
Be careful not to fly off the
handle, patience is a virtue and if
not approached in the correct way
you could potentially ruffle a few
*
feathers.
5 Things that
make us
smile $
Stupid, immature giggles with our
1 best friends that rarely make sense

*
to us, let alone outsiders, but put a
smile on your face all day *
2 That glorious feeling of stretching out in
a freshly made bed with the sun
streaming through the curtains

* 3 Summer days in the park with our

best mates, cold drinks and not a
care in the world
*
4 Seeing someone you really really
hate looking super rough and
having an ‘in head’ celebration, -
harsh, but we all do it!
*
5 And our Fix philosophy of the
week: Never regret something that
once made you smile.
*
love, f i x *
* 54