RUNNING HEAD: HD 487 B Reflective Study: Research II

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HD 487 B Reflective Study: Research II

Rosa Martinez
HD 489 Reflection on Life Experiences
Norma Castellanos
Pacific Oaks College

Results

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My first participant, Brenda was surprised to find herself pregnant only 1 month in a half
after marrying her husband. We knew that we wanted kids, and then there she was! she told me.
Brenda preferred a natural birth, but also wanted the security of being in a hospital. It didn't seem like
the kind of thing I could really plan, she said, but I really didn't want a cesarean. Brenda got
induced and because of her complicated pregnancy she ended up getting the epidural. She had some
plans, but her plans weren't complete. Brenda was induced so she didn't get to choose how her baby
would be born. But thank God it was a vaginal birth I pushed for two hours. I was so incredibly
exhausted. I was afraid of getting a C-section so I did my best to have a good natural birth. Brendas
Daughter was born at thirty three. Four weeks. She was almost eight months.
Brenda felt scared with her birth experience. I'm just glad it's over. It was the hardest thing I've
ever done. she told me. Her husband was her birth coach and she says he has always been very
supportive emotionally throughout her labor and after. He was there all the days I was in the hospital.
He would take me every night after work to visit my daughter at the hospital He pretty much provided
everything she needed for her daughter. Brenda stayed at her mothers for one month. Brendas
husband would visit them every day We were close friends before we dated, so we have leaned on
each other through a lot.
I was able to be in the hospital with my baby for 4 days, but once I got out the hospital and had
to leave my baby it was hard for me, Brenda said. She told me her baby was in the hospital for one
week only and she cried every day for her, but thinking she would be out soon would make her feel
better. Brenda informed herself of how she needed to take care of her daughter. She made sure with the
hospital that she had the right equipment for her. A nurse would go to her house every week to see how
her baby was doing due to the fact that her baby was born preemie, and since neither one of them had
any experience with babies. It was good for us to have a professional come in, and my parents

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understood she said. We didn't know anything about babies, so I don't know what would have
happened without her! I especially needed help with breastfeeding.
The first month of her daughters life, Brenda struggled with a lot of anxiety regarding doing
the right thing. She was afraid that any mistake she made at the beginning would negatively alter the
course of her daughters entire life. She felt very sensitive and cried easily for the first couple of
weeks, but after that she felt pretty normal, except for the additional anxiety. She handles her anxiety
by talking with her husband and her sister about it, but she admits that many times she just
compartmentalizes her feelings. She was going through a lot of emotions. She keeps remembering how
everything happen fast and she would cry. Brenda also lost some of her vision so that made it difficult
for her. She started going to speak to a psychologist during her second month once she was able to
drive herself because no one else could take her any other time or days. Brendas biggest struggle in
her transition into motherhood was the feeling of uncertainty. I think at first it was difficult for her baby
to bond. She did wanted to breastfeed so that would stress them both. Once she stop trying to
breastfeed the bonding became much easier not always knowing what to do, wondering if she is doing
something wrong, or worrying about generally messing up her kid are issues that occasionally keep
her up at night. Brendas says she has managed to integrate her role as a mother into her identity by
fully embracing it at the beginning and letting everything else go. Brenda has a good husband that will
costly make sure that everything is going great with her.
My second participant, Miriam, after dating for ten years decided to get married. Two years
later after already having a boy she got pregnant again out of her surprise, she did not expected this
pregnancy. Miriam was happy that she was being a mother for the second time. She said, that she
couldnt wait to have her second baby with her. To her surprise, she said that she had to go to the
hospital because she was already having contractions. When she was going to the hospital she said, that
she was afraid because she was just twenty eight weeks pregnant. When her baby was born they had to

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keep him in the NICU because he was born with heart problems and had to be in oxygen. Every time
that she had to go to the hospital she would cry and pray to god that her baby would get better. At first
she said, it was hard for her and her husband because they had to find a babysitter to watch over her
other son. Her family was very supportive they did what they could to help her. Two months and 10
days passed and her son was able to come home. At first it was hard for her son to be able to adjust to
the environment but as soon as he was out it was easy for him to adjust to them.
They had a lot of support from a nurse that would come and visit to see how her son was doing
and to help in anything they needed. She said that she didnt feel alone and lost because she had the
help she needed. They were times where she felt like she wasnt bonding with her son and that made
her very emotional especially when she tried breastfeeding her son and she wasnt able to provide
breast milk. She asked for help and found a person from her former church that had a baby around her
sons age and she helped her out by providing the breast milk to her son. Her biggest struggles was
being able to take care of her two year old son and her newborn she said that they booth needed her.
My third participant, Isaac, moves in with his one and only love that he was going out with
for four month already, his partners pregnancy came as a surprise two months later after moving in
together with her. Isaac felt very sorely disappointed when his partner ended up having preemie babies,
he felt like he had failed and blamed himself for his wife having his babies. After a while, Isaac said, I
realized that I got what I really wanted my babies. But it was really hard to let go of the experience he
had while his partner gave birth. His wife was very supportive during the birth, although Isaac could
tell that she was really scared when they had to leave the babies in the NICU. His babies stayed in
the NICU for three long weeks and that scared his wife emotionally causing him to step up and take the
role of a mother while his wife emotionally recuperated. I took care of the babies when she went back
to work three months later after their twins birth. It was very hard when she decided to go back to
school at the time, so scheduling and caregiving became a sore spot in their marriage. Their family

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lived in the same house, so Isaac and his wife had to work things out between themselves and his
partners parents It was really hard since my parent live in another country and we only had her parents
help, he said. I really missed my family. It was so stressful....and isolating.
That first month after his twins birth, Isaac really struggled with feelings of failure and loss
regarding his birth plan. He also had feelings of uncertainty and anxiety about the logistics of being a
working parent and the stress it would put on his marriage. Luckily, Isaac had a close friend who had
also had a preemie baby. She was my sounding board. I was a wreck. She knew just what I was
going through and that really helped. When the babies came home from being in the NICU they had
the support of having a nurse come and visit and help them with their twins.
Isaac grew up in a close knit family and has an affectionate relationship with both parents
especially his mom. Isaac thinks his relationship with his parents is a real asset to his parenting style.
One of the things my mom told me was, 'You know how to love. That's the most important thing.'
That really helped me start to let go of some of my fears about how things would plan out. Isaac
greatest struggle transitioning into fatherhood was the loss of independence and the anxiety of total
responsibility for another person. Having someone need you completely all the time makes it hard
to hang on to who you are. I felt so guilty when I wasnt very supportive when my partner had to go to
work and school. Isaac needed time to process his role as a father, and he relied on the experiences
and support of friends and family to see that he would be able to feel like more than just a dad
someday.
Analysis
Three of the main themes woven through these stories are that birth experience, networks of
support, and family relationships had the largest impact on the way these participants experienced their
transition to motherhood and fatherhood. Brenda and Isaac had births that they felt empowered by,
which gave them a sense of confidence and an awareness of their own hidden strength. Miriam felt

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helpless after her birth experience; it went against her birth plan and made her feel like a passive
recipient instead of an active participant in becoming a mother.
Brenda had her mother to take care of her while Miriam had a nurse to help her and her husband
understands how to take care of a newborn. The more comprehensive the support, the more relief each
woman seemed to feel from the anxiety about performing specific maternal functions such as
breastfeeding in their new roles as mothers. Family relationships and their emotional reverberations
came to the foreground as each participant stepped into the phase of creating their own family.
The biggest struggles that each participant experienced as they transitioned into motherhood
and parenthood seemed more specific to each individual. Brenda felt overcome with doubt and anxiety
about her ability to do the right thing, and Isaac was stung by the departure of his independence.
This data indicates that the transition into the role of motherhood and fatherhood is quite nuanced and
unique to each participant past experiences, temperament, lifestyle, and expectations of themselves.
The data from these participants partially answered my research question, but there are
unexplored factors that prevent this information from being appropriately applied to a wider
demographic. There are close similarities between the backgrounds of these participant and myself
we all identify as heterosexual and Hispanic. The relative homogeneity of our frame of reference
eliminates many differing perspectives.
This leaves me wondering how women and men from other cultural orientations,
socioeconomic statuses, adoptive mothers, and lesbian couples may experience the transition into the
role of motherhood. Do the qualities of this right of passage affect each woman or men differently or
are there universal truths in the transformation from woman to mother? What other cultural factors
support or constrain us? .
Conclusion

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Given my analysis of the data I collected, I can conclude that anxiety plays a large role in this
transformation; each participant expressed fear and/or trepidation about the heavy responsibility of
caring for and raising another human being. Feelings of anxiety seemed to peak when combined with
feelings of isolation. It is clear that experienced, sensitive, and supportive people (whether they are
partners, family members, friends, or professionals) serve to boost the morale and relieve some of the
pressure off of new mothers and fathers. Each participant described the need to express her feelings as
she processed her experience and to receive emotional support and reassurance from trusted confidants.
Family relationships were significant factors as well. Poor relationships The third participant
felt deeply reassured and encouraged by the love and support of her parents, even though they were far
away. Despite these conclusions, there are many hidden elements of my research question that remain
unanswered. Issues that regard varying cultural, socioeconomic, and personal factors in a woman's and
men experience and perception were not addressed with this small sample of participants. The
experiences of the women and men I interviewed mirrored my own experience of stress, anxiety, and a
need for reassurance at the beginning of my motherhood and fatherhood journey. However, there were
significant individual variations in our struggles to reconcile our new roles as mothers with our existing
identities as women and men.
These individual differences and unexplored cultural factors tell me that, above all, a woman's
and men network of support must take into account her needs, experience, and perspective in order to
benefit her the most. It is of the utmost importance that a woman gets the support she needs in this
vulnerable time. This is something that needs to be addressed both culturally and institutionally in order
to truly benefit women and families in the long run.

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