Caughman-Harman Funeral Homes, Dunbar Funeral Homes,

Your
Local
Dignity
Memorial
Providers
Caughman-Harman
Funeral
and
Elmwood
Funeral
Home and
Cremation Homes
Services
See our ad on the back cover

2D

...........................................................................................................THE STATE

FRIDAY JULY 22 2016

First priority of funeral plans:

Embrace memory of loved one
BY LEZLIE PATTERSON

Special to The State

Rule No. 1 regarding planning

funerals: There are no rules.
While many find comfort in
the traditional funeral format,
some Midlands families are
following the trend of more
customized, personalized services.
Its more about how we memorialize their loved ones
lives, says Mary Beth Lamey,
community care coordinator for
Thompson Funeral Homes.
Were seeing things that help
folks reconnect with how that
person lived, with who that
person was.
One way to do that is through
ShareLife, an option at Thompson Funeral Home that allows
loved ones to embrace the
memory of the deceased.
Families are not all the
same, says Chad Frye, managing director at Thompson, so
not all services need to be the
same.
Frye says he listens to families
talk about their loved ones and
encourages them to share stories. Then, if the family chooses,
they can use technology to infuse the service with sights,
sounds and even scents.
We are now able to create a
multisensory experience for

JACOB AMMENTORP LUND Getty Images/iStockphoto

families who wish to fully capture the unique personality of

their loved one, Lamey says.
For example, if Grandma
loved to bake her chocolate chip
cookies, they can have the scent
of baking cookies and have
copies of Grandmas recipe to
share. If Uncle Joe loved the
mountains, they can project

images to transport loved ones

to Uncle Joes favorite place.
They can do things outside
the box, Frye says. We want
to help them celebrate their
loved ones lives. We can customize to every family, make
each service unique.
There are a few other trends
in the Midlands:

A Cremation. Cremation is
becoming more accepted in our
area, Frye says. Families are
having memorial services, and
cremation. Not only is this a
less expensive option, but it also
gives folks more options for the
service. Which leads to
A Alternative sites for memorial services. Some families

choose to have services at places with meaning to the deceased, moving away from funeral home chapels and churches to lakeside spots, the beach,
mountains, etc.
A Alternative for remains.
Those choosing cremation have
options for their loved ones
cremated remains. Some choose
to keep them in urns; others
scatter them in meaningful
places. You have to get permission to scatter the cremated
remains, Frye says. Woodridge
Memorial Park and Funeral
Home in Lexington offers a
butterfly scattering garden,
where cremated remains can be
scattered with or without family
present. Plaques memorialize
the deceased.
A Memory Glass. Cremated
remains can be blown into glass.
A DNA Memorial. DNA can
be collected from the deceased,
and processed to be stored at
room temperature. This allows
family to have DNA if necessary
for medical testing or genealogy
research.
Its all about letting families
choose the best way to memorialize their loved ones.
Just because weve always
done it one way does not mean
we have to do it that way, Lamey says. You can laugh. You
can celebrate. You can grieve.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Peace of Mind
Friday, July 22, 2016
SARA JOHNSON
BORTON
President and Publisher

BERNIE HELLER
Vice President
of Advertising

KATHY ALLEN
Director
of Marketing

REBEKAH LEWIS HALL

Special Projects
Coordinator

A product of

ON THE COVER
Illustration
by Louie Lanford

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

FRIDAY JULY 22 2016

THE STATE .....................................................................................................

3D

Home Care program

keeps clients at home

Home Care
services
provide
assistance
with daily
activities,
such as
bathing,
dressing,
errands,
and light
housekeeping.

in their homes. Many times, this is

a job that has become too taxing
For many people, the biggest
on the spouse of the frail senior,
challenges of growing older are
and our program provides muchthe daily routines within their own needed respite when the primary
home that become increasingly
caregiver needs relief.
difficult. Getting dressed. BathThe program also aims to give
ing. Keeping up with household
the family members peace of
chores. Going to the grocery store mind that someone is checking on
or pharmacy.
their loved ones and making sure
For the family members of
they are safe and healthy.
aging loved ones, those challengHome Care services provide
es also create worry about falls,
assistance with daily activities, such
injuries or accidents.
as bathing, dressing, errands, and
The Home Care program
light housekeeping. Home Care
through Senior Resources aims to clients receive assistance on a temhelp aging adults with their daily
porary or long-term basis by experiroutines so that they can remain
enced, trained caregivers.
Senior Resources

PROVIDED PHOTO Senior Resources

Barr-Price

Funeral Homes & Crematorium

Our family serving your family since 1890

www.barr-price.com
Two locations:

256 Main St.

Batesburg-Leesville, SC
(803) 532-4411

609 Northwood Rd.

Lexington, SC
(803) 356-4411

Clients can also receive walkers, wheelchairs, shower seats and

other assistive medical devices
(subject to availability). Upon
request, the program links clients
to community resources that provide housing, food, discount prescription drugs and other services.
Without in-home care services,
many of these seniors may be
forced to move into assisted-living
facilities or nursing homes, where
the cost of care is much higher
($60,000-$96,000 per year in
South Carolina).
For information about Home
Care, visit seniorresourcesinc.org
or call 803-252- 7734.

4D

...........................................................................................................THE STATE

FRIDAY JULY 22 2016

Hospice pastor: Closure

may not be the answer
BY LEZLIE PATTERSON

Special to The State

Navigating grief is often a confusing

process, especially if the mourner is looking for closure.
Not only is closure often hard to find,
in many cases it shouldnt even be
sought, says Mark Bredholt, a longtime
hospice pastor who has helped more than
25,000 patients and their family members deal with death.
I just think there are better and
healthier goals to shoot for than closure,
Bredholt says.
I tell people not to betray their grief.
Our grief is tied into our love for a person.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary de-

fines closure as a feeling that a bad

experience (such as a divorce or the
death of a family member) has ended
and that you can start to live again in a
calm and normal way.
Life after the death of a parent, spouse,
sibling or child may return to normal, but
its a new normal.
The question I often get asked is,
When am I going to get over this?
Bredholt says. I try to find a gentle way
of saying, you have to find out who you
are now. Everything has changed for you.
When someone you love dies, you
change.
Bredholt says there is a difference
between moving on and moving forward.
SEE CLOSURE, 5D

RL PRODUCTIONS Getty Images

When trust matters most,

With a combined total of over 223 years of service, call on the firm
that our community has known and trusted since 1928.

Edward
LaPosta
11 years
Tom Maddux
52 years

Brandi Kyzer
2 years
David
Hardee
15 years

Craig Clardy
23 years
Joann
Marotta
27 years

Chad Frye
20 years
AJ Bracy
14 years

Brian Gargis
31 years
Alicia Clark
18 years

Greg Edwards
10 years

No games, no gimmicks, no low price bait-and-switch tactics just superb service and life celebration
planning from the Midlands most experienced funeral home, cemetery and cremation specialists.
845 Leesburg Road
Columbia, SC 29209
803-776-1092

200 State Street

West Columbia, SC 29169
803-791-0650

4720 Augusta Road

Lexington, SC 29073
803-996-1023

www.thompsonsfuneral.com

FRIDAY JULY 22 2016

THE STATE .....................................................................................................

The question I often get asked is, When am I

going to get over this? I try to find a gentle way
of saying, you have to find out who you are now.
Everything has changed for you. When someone you
love dies, you change.

FROM PAGE 4D

CLOSURE
One thing grief counselors have
discovered is that navigating grief
is more like the Olympic Rings
than separate stages; there is overlap.
Grief isnt a place to stay,
Bredholt says. It is a passage.
Bredholt counsels families to
deal with the death of a loved one
in three ways:
First, find a good listener, someone you can really talk to.
I encourage (mourners) to find
people who are safe harbors,
Bredholt says. People who will not
just listen to a mourners honest
feelings, but encourage them to
keep sharing them. This is someone they can tell dark thoughts,
without hearing responses like
Dont say that, Thats crazy,
or You dont really mean that.

Mark Bredholt
longtime hospice pastor

KATARZYNABIALASIEWICZ Getty Images/iStockphoto

Second, find a way to memorialize your deceased love one.

If your mother loved children,
donate toys at Christmas in her
name, or school supplies. If your
father loved to read, donate books
in his name to a library. Plant a
tree in honor of your wife.
One man I counseled, his wife
was a pianist, Bredholt says. He
bought a piano for a school. He
loved to hear the kids play that
piano.
Finally, find out who you are
now.
Who have you become? Bredholt says. Your life is now differ-

ent because your world is different.

Let love and memories be your
guide.
Bredholt is retired from Hospice
Care Tri-County but still officiates
funerals and counsels. When he
walked into a funeral home to start
a job in 1970, he knew he had
found his calling.
Every day, we should do something we really want to do, Bredholt says. And every day we
should say whatever we want to
say.
The saddest stories I hear are,
If only I had done this, If only I
had said that.

Patient-Centered
Family-Focused
Hospice Care

7142 Woodrow Street Irmo, SC 29063

803-602-0300

5D

6D

...........................................................................................................THE STATE

FRIDAY JULY 22 2016

Caring for elderly relatives:

making it easier on your family
StatePoint

StatePoint

Laser Cataract Surgery

With the experience of thousands
of laser-assisted cataract surgeries,
our surgeons are helping set new
standards in precision and accuracy.
Schedule an appointment to learn
about our host of individualized
cataract treatment options that
can help reduce or eliminate your
dependence on glasses.
Derek L. Barker, M.D.
William Cain, Jr., M.D.
Edward G. Crosswell, M.D.
Hal H. Crosswell, Jr., M.D.
H. Holland Crosswell, III, M.D.
William F. Crosswell, M.D.
Charles D. Finley, M.D.
Lynn Hicks Snoddy, M.D.
Derrick A. Huey, M.D.
William A. Johnson, Jr., M.D.
Edward G. Mintz, M.D.
R. Mitchell Newman, Jr., M.D.
D. Reynell Harder Smith, D.O.
Garner J. Wild, M.D.

Downtown Columbia, SC 803.779.3070

Northeast Columbia, SC 803.252.8566
Highway 378 Lexington, SC 803.806.0080

columbiaeyeclinic.com

It can be difficult for

families when an elderly
loved one starts to weaken
physically and mentally.
While nursing homes are
an option, most are extremely expensive, and
most seniors would prefer
to remain in familiar surroundings.
Fortunately, there are
now more choices available that can provide seniors the freedom to continue living safely in their
own home.
The average cost of an
assisted living facility is
$43,200 annually, and the
cost of a nursing home
with private room can cost
over $90,000 a year,
according to the 2015
Genworth Cost of Care
Survey.
Such a huge, ongoing
expense can have an enormous impact on the average family, whether they
have prepared financially
or not.
Even for families
where such costs are not
prohibitive, parents are
often reluctant to leave
homes filled with years of
memories, and be placed
into an unfamiliar environment, living with
strangers, says health
care systems expert Jack
Zhang, president and CEO
of the fast-growing health
technology company,
Vitall Inc.
Caring for older parents
and relatives doesnt necessarily need to involve
relocation or spending
tens of thousands of dol-

lars annually. Zhang says

there are a few important
things to consider.
COMMUNICATION
UPDATES
New technologies make
looking after and staying
connected to the seniors
in your life easier and
more affordable.
For example, HeyMomDad, the worlds first
two-way communication
and wellness monitoring
system, allows loved ones
to see and hear in realtime that elderly relatives
are safe simply by opening an app on their smartphones.
Seniors need only press
one button to talk to loved
ones, notify them that
help is needed, or to just
say hello.
Likewise, with one tap,
users can instantly see,
hear and talk back to parents through the highquality HD video and
two-way audio component.
The camera can be
controlled through the
smartphone and directed
to any location in the
room, permitting a 270degree view. It also includes night vision optics
for clear viewing in dark
rooms.
BEYOND MONITORING
Most seniors are reluctant to call 911 in an emergency because theyre
embarrassed or dont
want to cause a fuss or
incur an expense which
can be as high as $1,200,
even for false alarms

where paramedics were

dispatched, says Zhang.
HeyMomDad gives
seniors two different alert
options. They can choose
to alert only family and
friends, or alert family,
friends and 911. In addition, the HeyMomDad
Bed Monitor tracks heart
rate, breathing rate and
movement at night.
MAINTAINING
INDEPENDENCE
For many seniors, one
of the most difficult parts
of aging is the loss of independence.
When possible, families
should consider making
homes senior friendly,
adding safety bars in the
shower and bath, eliminating tripping hazards,
improving lighting in hallways and outdoor walkways, and making kitchens more accessible with
countertops and cabinets
that can rise or lower with
the push of a button.
And new two-way communication and monitoring systems can add further peace of mind.
More information can
be found at www.HeyMomDad.com or 1-800352-0887.
Before making big decisions about your parents
and aging relatives housing and care, take new
innovations into consideration.
These alternatives can
save your family thousands of dollars, give you
peace of mind and improve your familys quality
of life.

FRIDAY JULY 22 2016

THE STATE .....................................................................................................

MONKEY BUSINESS Fotolia.com

Does your retirement plan

consider long-term care?
home averages $97,611 per
year, with costs rising to
When many people con- $147,982 in certain areas of
sider their retirement, they the country. It has been
dream about the vacations estimated that 70 percent
of people age 65 and older
theyll take and the time
they will have to relax. And will need some form of
while many savvy consum- long-term care.
It is more critical than
ers are planning for their
ever that Americans underretirement financially,
stand the need to properly
experts say that not enough
prepare for possible longpeople consider the poten- term care events in the
tial expense of long-term
future, especially as the
care.
population ages. Planning
In fact, only one in five
ahead for long-term care
future retirees has discussed expenses not only helps
long-term care expenses
protect a retirees finances,
with a financial adviser,
but can also help protect the
based on research conduct- entire family from having to
ed by Lincoln Financial
make hard choices during
Group (the marketing name an emotional and difficult
for Lincoln National Corpo- time, says Andrew Buckration and its affiliates) and lee, Head of Insurance
Hanover Research in OctoSolutions Distribution at
ber 2014. According to the
Lincoln Financial Group.
Managing Long-Term Care
While it can be challengRisks research, advisers
ing and uncomfortable to
believe potential long-term
have conversations about
care expenses are a signifthe long-term care landicant risk to clients wealth
scape, the cost of care, and
and retirement goals.
solutions to address longIndeed, according to
term care expenses, BuckLong Term Care Group the lee encourages everyone to
2014 Long-Term Cost of
take these steps:
Care Survey, a private
A Plan ahead with an
adviser to help protect your
room in a skilled nursing
StatePoint

family and your wealth

from potential long-term
care expenses.
A Consider all options,
including hybrid solutions
to help address long-term
care expenses with greater
financial flexibility.
A Stretch your post-retirement dollar by downsizing your residence, if possible.
A Inflation can be a major source of trouble for
retirees because it drives
down the real value of
savings and reduces purchasing power an effect
exacerbated by higher
rates of inflation in such
categories as health care, a
high-spend area for retirees. Seek out retirement
products that help mitigate
the effects of inflation.
Free retirement saving
tips and tools can be found
at beachieflifeofficer.com.
Dont let a long retirement catch you off guard.
Through a combination of
careful planning, a willingness to receive financial
guidance, and some creative approaches to saving,
you can help ensure a comfortable retirement.

Randolph Shives
Owner

Experience The Advantage Of A Family-Owned Funeral Home

7600 Trenholm Road Ext. | 5202 Colonial Drive
803.754.6290 | ShivesFuneralHome.com

7D

8D

...........................................................................................................THE STATE

FRIDAY JULY 22 2016

Now, more than ever,

its important to plan your eternity.
During these challenging economic times, making your nal arrangement is crucial.
By planning now, you eliminate unnecessary decisions your family will have to make at the most
difcult time they can imagine. Plus, you lock in todays lower prices and receive the advantages of:
Protecting your family from having to make such decisions at a difcult time.
Preventing emotional overspending by family members who can only guess
what you may have wanted.
Enabling you to make your wishes know.
Providing you and your loved ones with total peace of mind.

Call now. Pay when you are ready.

FREE GIFT. Call today for a free Personal Planning
Guide to help ensure your wishes are known.
CAUGHMAN-HARMAN FUNERAL HOME
CHAPIN CHAPAL
123 Columbia road, Chapin, SC 29036
803-345-3500
DUNBAR FUNERAL HOME
DEVINE CHAPEL
3926 Devine Street, Columbia, SC 29205
803-771-7790

CAUGHMAN-HARMAN FUNERAL HOME

LEXINGTON CHAPEL
503 North Lake Drive, Lexington, SC 29072
803-359-6118

CAUGHMAN-HARMAN FUNERAL HOME

WEST COLUMBIA CHAPEL
820 West Dunbar Road, W. Columbia, SC 29170
803-755-3788

DUNBAR FUNERAL HOME

NORTHEAST CHAPEL
4219 Hard Scrabble Road, Columbia, SC 29223
803-788-6310

DUNBAR FUNERAL HOME

DUTCH FORK CHAPEL
7600 Woodrow Street, Columbia, SC 29063
803-732-2211
ELMWOOD FUNERAL HOME
& CREMATION SERVICES
501 Elmwood Avenue, Columbia, SC 29201
803-252-2133