ArianeGarcia

Connelly
English5
25July,2016
BlackismyPassion
WhenIwasassignedthisessaytochooseadiscoursecommunity,IdidntknowwhereI
fitin.Iusetoidentifymyselfasanathletethatwouldtakemyabilitiesasatickettogetmore
freeeducation,butthingshavechanged.Iusedtoplaybasketballandplannedtogetafullride
scholarshiptocollege,althoughIlostmyheartforthegameandmyplanschanged.Idecidedto
quitbasketballaftermysenioryearofhighschoolbecauseIdislikedplayingandendedup
turningofferstoafewcolleges.ThismaysoundcrazybutIjustwantedtoleavethatbehindme
andstartputtingmytimeandeffortintomytruelifegoalsbyfocusingonmyeducation.The
discoursecommunitythatIidentifymyselfwithnowistheBlack/AfricanAmericanethnicity.I
putmyselfinthiscategorybecauseittookmeawhiletorealizethisiswhereIbelong.Ihave
wenttoschoolsthathadahighpopulationofeitherWhiteorBlack.Whileattendingaschool
withthemajorityofthepeoplebeingCaucasian,Iwouldfeelinsecureaboutmyselfandchanged
thewayIactedatschool.Ididntspeakmymindandjustwentthroughthemotionsoflife.Most
ofmylifethisishowIcoppedeverydaybytryingtofitin.ThenIrealizedthisleadtomehaving
lowselfesteemandhategoodcharacteristics/futuresofmyself.NextIwenttoamajorityblack
schoolandactuallyfeltlikeIbelonged.Imademanyfriendsandfantasticmemoriesthatmake
schoolworththewild.ThenIbecamemoreeducatedinmyraceandstartedtorealizeallthe
negativeencountersIreceivedinmyeverydaylife.Forexample,laughingloudinastorelocated

inahighclassareaandgettingstaredatlikeIwasnotahuman.ThereweremanytimesIwould
lookonsocialmediaornewsreportsandseeallthecrazythingsAfricanAmericansgothrough
everydaylikepolicebrutalityorevenblackonblackcrimes.Educatingmyselfontheseissues
mademepassionateaboutmyrace,althoughmanypeoplethinkI'mjustbeingracistallthetime.
Forstarters,IalwaysseeBlackpeoplelookeddownuponandIwanttomakepositivechangesin
theblackcommunitytostopthesefalseaccusations.InthefutureIplantoactonmyemotions
andimproveyoungAfricanAmericanslikemyself.IbelongtotheBlackethnicitygroup
becauseIhaveexperiencedselfhate,supportBlackLivesMatterandhavefacedblackonblack
altercationsthatledmetomydiscoursecommunity.
GrowingupIhatedsomecharacteristicsaboutmyselfthatIwasbornwith,whetherit
wasmyappearanceorpersonality.InanarticlebyChanelDonaldsoncalledHairAlteration
Practices,shediscussesafewwaysonwhyblackwomentendtostraightentherehair.One
quotethatstoodouttomewas,TheinternalizationofWhitebeautystandardsisparticularly
problematicforBlackwomenbecauseitactsasabarriertoattainingtheidealof
femininity(Donaldson).MostadvertisementforwomenaresponsoredwithWhitepeople.They
makeyoufeellikeyouhavetohavestraighthair,lightskinorevenhavingaslimbodyshape.I
feltIhadtohavestraighthairtofitinbutIonlyendedupdestroyingmycurlsjusttorealize
havingcurlyhairisnowinstyle.Ialsousetodecidetostayinthehouseforsummertokeepmy
Winterglow.Ilearnedtostophatingmyfuturesbecausemanypeoplecomplimentedmeonthe
thingsIhadtolearntoloveaboutmyself.ManyblackwomenhavefeltthesamewayIhavefor
years.Chanelstated,Slavery,racism,andWhitesupremacyhavehadlastingnegativeeffectson
Blackidentity(Donaldson).AfricanAmericanswerepatronizedforhavingbiglips,kinkyhair,

andcurvybodies.Butitseemstodaywewerehatedonhavingthesequalitiesbecausemany
peoplewishandaremakingthemselveslooklikeus.BeforeIdevelopedthisknowledgeIfailed
torealizeeachraceistryingtobeliketheothertofitin.NowIamconfidentinmyqualitiesand
couldcarelessofhowothersviewmewhenI'mjustbeingmytrueself.
ThemoreviolenceIwitnessedamongstAfricanAfricansmakesmesupporttheBlack
LivesMattermovementbecausetheyarenotgoingtostandsilent,butfightagainstwhatis
wrong.InaCNNreportbySaraSidner,shetalksabouttheriseofBlackLivesMatter.Thetext
madeagoodpointbecauseitsaid,TheBlackLivesMattermovementhaspusheditselfintothe
nationalconversationagainandagain(Sidner).Manybelievedthismovementwasjustanother
trendorhashtagthatwouldgoawaybecausethereisnospecificleaderandtopicthatoneis
fightingfor.IchosetobeasupporterbecauseIbelievethemovementwasasuccess,butchange
isstillinprocess.WhenthepresidentrecognizedthismovementIwassurechangeistocome.
Thisaffectsmylifebecauseitmakesfeelbetterabouttheworldandhowthesetopicsarent
goingunnoticed.Thesuccessofthismovementonlycreatedmockeryofthesubject.Infactthe
newsreportstated,SomecriticsblameBlackLivesMatterforworseningracerelationsin
America(Sidner).Itkillsmethatthesemattersarefinallyaddressed,butarenowblamedforthe
issuesgoingonthattheyarepreachingabout.Iampassionateaboutthisissuebecauseitamazes
mehowpeopleareeasilyinfluencedbypropagandaofthenewsandhowtheyinterpretthese
issues.IamproudtosaythatIknowwhereIstandpoliticallyintheworldandwillalways
supportBlackLivesMatter.
Itiscrazytowitnessblackonblackcrimes,whenthetalkofthecenturyisaboutthe
decreaseinpopulationoftheAfricanAmericanrace.Thisyearmanykidsmyagehavelosttheir

livesbecauseofdumbactivitiesandafewweremyfriends,butoneinparticularwasDeston
Garrett.Hewaskilledbyafamilyfriendoverviewsonamusicvideoonyoutube(Rocha).
DestonalsoknownasNutterwasafriendlypersonlovedbymany.Hewasoneofmyfirst
friendswhenItransferredtoSacHigh.Icouldn'tbelievehediedbecauseIwouldseeavideoof
himandthinkheisstillalive.Itdidn'thitmeuntilhehadhisfuneral.Justanothercrimeofblack
peoplekillingeachother.Ifcopsarekillingusandwearekillingourselves,thenwemustwant
tobeextinct.Imyselfhavewitnessedblackonblackhate.Iwenttoapartylikenormalteensdo
andasIamabouttoleavetheseloudgirlscomeoutside.Thisgroupofpeoplesay,Anyonecan
catchthesehands.UnfortunatelymysisterrepliedwithShhmultipletimesandtheygotinour
face.OnceIheardtheirvoiceshitacertainlevelIknewapunchwascomingourwayanditdid.
Theytargetedmygroupoffriendsbecausewewerebasicallytheonlyotherblackgroupatthe
party.Therewasfivepeopleinmygroupandtheyhaddoublethepeopleafterthefightactually
started.Tomakethestoryshorttheywerelookingforafightandweweretheonlypeoplethat
wouldbemostlikelytogivethemagoodone.Iguessyoucansaytheyjumpedmeandmy
friendsbutforthemostpartwewereuntouched.Itwasmajorityofthempullinghairandleaving
afewscratches.Icouldn'tbelievehowignorantthisgroupofpeoplewas.Everyonejustwantsto
havefunonaSaturdaynight.WhatIhavegainedfromthisexperienceisthatmoreAfrican
Americanpeopleneedtobeeducatedonwhat'sgoingonintheworldwithourethnicity.Some
peopleacceptthefactthatourraceislookeddownuponandjustactthepart.Iampassionate
aboutblackonblackcrimesbecauseIfeelthatmyidentityisindangeriftheseactscontinue.
IbelievemyidentitybelongstotheAfricanAmerican/Blackdiscoursecommunity
becauseIhavewentthroughselfhate,supporttheBlackLivesMattermovementandwitnessed

blackonblackcrimes.Ittookmeawhiletocherishqualitiesofmyappearance,butnowIlove
everythingaboutmyself.BeingaBlackLivesMattersupportermakesmeinformedonwhat
goesontoday.LastlyIwouldliketostopblackonblackaltercationsbecauselivingthroughit
becameaneyeopenerforme.AllthesesituationledmetobewhoIamtoday.

WorksCited
Donaldson,Chanel."DepartmentofAppliedPsychology."HairAlterationPracticesAmongst
BlackWomenandtheAssumptionofSelfHatred.N.p.,n.d.Web.21July2016.
<http://steinhardt.nyu.edu/appsych/opus/issues/2012/fall/hairalteration>.
Rocha,Veronica."SacramentoHighSchoolFootballPlayerKilledOverYouTubeMusicVideo:
Mom."KTLA.N.p.,27June2016.Web.21July2016.
<http://ktla.com/2016/06/27/sacramentohighschoolfootballplayerkilledoveryoutube
musicvideomom/>.
Sidner,Sara."TheRiseofBlackLivesMatter."CNN.CableNewsNetwork,n.d.Web.21July
2016.<http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/28/us/blacklivesmatterevolution/>.