almanac

st georges, 8th august 2014

tristans hat, scheepers and life tips by tarrant

happenings
cover
Robin Williams has unfortunately
passed away, with his death reportedly being suicide. This does not hinder
the legacy he has left behind to us,
but depression is a very serious issue,
and people should never be hesitant
to reach out to others for help.
Youre free now, Genie.

administrative
Nothing this week from admin. Do people read this
part? Not sure. Think well just chuck in some words.
Heres how to make a gin and tonic.
Ingredients
4 to 5 tonic water Ice Cubes
3 ounces gin
4 ounces tonic water
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice
Lime wedge for garnish

Directions:
Place the ice cubes in a tall, narrow, chilled glass (the
cubes should come near the top.) Add the gin, then
the tonic water, then the lime juice, stirring well.
Garnish with lime wedge, and serve immediately.
Courtesy of the foodnetwork.com. Enjoy mid-life!

goings on

Dont hate the player

TBL (Throw Back Longman)

Hampson

Double O Jevans

Whos the lucky guy Angela?

Reow !!!

beers

weekly

the populace

tears

community dinner!

robin williams died

congrats to jaxo for being captain of his hockey

team

robbie williams didnt die

fire drill
college blazers

we are no longer keeping

up with the kardashians

the old chan

st georges college spring
festival...?

drinking games with

cards
tav chips with chicken
salt
cocktail parties

jury still out

lack of hot breakfast hash

browns
ebola

the mcfeast is back

spencers hair

wild krill oil

g ramms bum

open day

8 am class

the show archer

smorthwaites relationship

absence of single jevans

mt lawley bakery bread at

cocktail party profile picmeal times
ture changes

not knowing whether to

handshake or fist bump
or some other thing

georgian of the week

official
unofficial
Official: Georgia Ramm
for repping at the open
day
Unofficial: Michael
Nelmes for taking the
initiative to buy new
front lawn goals

letters to the editors

RUFFLED FEATHERS
Morning all,
Im writing in response to the
comment last week by the dog,
Georgie. While I understand that
feeling of exclusion, I think that a
little splash of perspective would
not go astray. We need not to
fight, but to flock together as a
group, and burst forth into the
sky like water from a fountain. I,
for one, am perfectly content to
ride this crazy wave they call life,
blowing like a precious reed in
the wind. I truly believe we can
all benefit from some reflection.
Ever pondering,
The Quad Mallard
OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME
Whats up guys!
Just your local UWA ambassador
checking in, making sure you
guys are all up to date on the
happenings and the goings-on
of the fantastic establishment
we like to call home!! We know
that you guys at college sometimes miss out on the fun that
uni REALLY has to offer, so think
of me as a friendly bridge from
your boarding school into the
real world!! Remember, there
are a plethora of clubs affiliated
with UWA, which cater to even
the most obscure hobbies, and
are a great way to make new,
weird friends!! It would be TRULY
a shame if you were to never get
involved in uni clubs and orgaisations!!

Speaking of, the guild elections

are coming up!!!! We are all
dying for the election time of
the year, which is when we print
of a bunch of flyers and harrass
people into carrying them to
the closest bin for us! This year
we promise to put a subway on
campus, improve college liasons,
end polio and half the debt ceiling whilst simultaneously patting our head and rubbing our
stomach!! Cant wait to see you
avoid my gaze on campus!!! XD
Sincerely,
A God Damn Independent
p.s. Do we matter yet?
DISGRUNTLED
Hey
Im Millar and I have beef to
squash with these so-called editors. As the creator of the only
good nak in the brief history of
time im yet to recieve any credit.

I literally coined the tears and

beers section. That was all me.
Also, jury is still out? What? If it
aint broke dont fix it, Ive always
said that and I always will.
Furthermore, no one is reviewing games, tv shows or movies.
You guys ever heard of multimedia? To be fair, youre all
useless gamers anyway, and you
wouldnt know a well directed
film even if it Spielbergd you in
the eye.
From what I can see, this whole
thing has turned to shit and Im
more than happy I washed my
hands of the whole situation.
Ive got more writing talent in
one weird thumb than all of
you put together. Its lucky my
friend George is still manning
the wheel, otherwise youd all be
screwed.
Inbox for gym tips,
Tom Millar

The adventures of

We invite you to join us in the documentation of a day in the life of Tristan Dales hat. Its been described as
a rollercoaster, with as many ups and downs as one of the bench press sessions in which Tristan is so known
for. Into the rabbit hole we go...

Fueling up for a long day

Scouting from an appropriate

vantage point

The big city

A well deserved brew

Jacob Marsh, take notes

Debating what really constitutes

real tennis

8 Badass ways to live

Fn

DANGERUSLY
At college

1. Enter the dining hall with your phone on

You didnt mean to bring it with you in the first place, and now you remember
you didnt even put it on silent. But wait, the more you think about it, the more
you realise this was actually a thrilling and DANGEROUS, INTENTIONAL
DECISION. Knowing it could ring at any moment is foreplay to you.
2. Sign up for formal dinner and then cancelWITH MINIMAL NOTICE
Sit back and let the chaos rain down on you. What if youre asked to submit an
apology to the Warden? What if you cant go to the next formal dinner!? Thats
Danger with a capital D, my friend.
3. Leave half a glass of water at the end of a

then DONT REFILL IT

jug

Youre not technically breaking the rules, but you

kind of almost did.
4.
Dont sign up for an event on
Facebook, then wait until the last minute
to buy a ticket for it. HellBUY ONE

AT THE DOOR
Let the confusion run rampant through
the ranks of the committee. How was
the actual revenue slightly different
from projections!?

5. Check your mailat

4:59 on a FRIDAY

What if you got a green slip and the office closed early!? You wont be able to
pick it up until Monday. Seriously, call Kenny Logginsbecause youre in the
Danger Zone.
6. Park on back road

backwards

To add an extra level of danger, make a

post about it. Then watch as people lose
it at you. Feel good about the fact that
most of them probably didnt really
know it was illegal anyway. Everything
behind North is basically the
international waters of college.

and JUST WING IT

7. Go to a study room youve never gone to before

Youve never been in here before, and you dont know the rules. Can you talk?
Can you eat? Can you leave your stuff for a bit?
Who cares? Play Russian
roulette with the deviland WING IT!
8. Experience a small internet disruption

and dont tell bigair

Seriously. Dont call their hot line. Dont even write a professional message on
their Facebook page. Nothing. But how can they continue to provide such a high
level of service if they dont receive your timely feedback? You dont carethats
how. Youre no longer IN danger, youve BECOME the danger.

Written by James Big Jim Tarrant

Closing Thoughts
What if the placebo effect is so succesful because sugar is
a versatile and effective medicine?