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Copyright 2005 Khor Chu Cheng

Feel free to distribute this e-Book

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT
INTO HARMONY
The Answer to Your Lifelong Suffering

Questions? Comments? Feel free to email me.


khor@tcih.net
www.tcih.net

ISBN 983-42897-0-7

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

CONTENTS

PREFACE.........................................................................................................9

PART ONE: OF CONFLICT


1/ GLOBAL CONFLICT.............................................................................12
2/ PROGRESS OF CONFLICT..................................................................14

Birth of Conflict / Growth of Conflict / Maturity of Conflict


3/ CONCEPT AND CONFLICT.................................................................18

Beginning of Thoughts / How Concept Causes Conflict /


What Is a Chair? / Desire Controls Man / What Am I? /
Value of Thoughts / Sensation, Feeling and Thought
4/ CONDITION OF MAN ...........................................................................27

Behavior of Man / Mechanical Man /


An Illustration of Mechanical Behavior /
Another Illustration of Mechanical Behavior
5/ STUDIES OF VISUAL PERCEPTION .................................................34

Inability to See the Flashes / Inability to Separate the Flashes /


Ability to See and Separate the Flashes

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

PART TWO: OF MAN


6/ DESCRIPTION OF A NORMAL MAN ................................................40
7/ DESCRIPTION OF AN ABNORMAL MAN........................................42

Conflict Everywhere / Creation of a New Self and Its Effects /


A Detailed Example on the Creation of a New Self /
Multiple Uses of the New Self /
Conflict Created by the New Self /
Three Possible Results of the Conflict /
An Illustration of Displacement / Self as Conduit /
No Escape / Consequences of Escape Attempts /
No Other Pleasure
8/ FURTHER DESCRIPTION OF AN ABNORMAL MAN..............51

Attributes of a Self and Its Impressions /


Self Is Clever, Attention Is Clever /
Connection between Impressions / Variety of Forces /
Opposite Forces within a Self / Character of a Self /
Persistency of a Self / Two Selves as One /
Overflow Force from a Self / Small Self within the Big /
Self in Action / Legion of Is / Divided House /
As Within So Without
9/ LIFE OF AN ABNORMAL MAN ....................................................57
10/ NORMAL MAN VERSUS ABNORMAL MAN ...................................59

Ability of a Normal Man / Brainwaves of a Normal Man /


Brainwaves of an Abnormal Man /
Qualities of an Awakened Mind
11/ ARE ALL SELVES HARMFUL? ..........................................................63

Health-Self / Exercise-Self / Charity-Self / God-Self

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

12/ OUTER LAYER OF IMPRESSIONS....................................................68

Features of Outer Impressions /


Defense against the Outer Impressions
13/ GIGANTIC SELVES ...............................................................................72

Gigantic Money-Self / Gigantic Wife-Self / Gigantic Safety-Self


14/ DESIRE AND FEAR REACTION .........................................................78

Effects of Desire/Fear Reaction / Nervous Systems


15/ TEMPORARY GIGANTIC DESIRE/FEAR REACTION ............81

Man Meets Tiger / Child Meets Oncoming Car /


Sudden Peak Performance / No-Gap Action
16/ PERMANENT GIGANTIC DESIRE/FEAR REACTION.............85

Passive Reaction / Active Reaction /


Circumstances and Time Do Not Heal
17/ FLOW, CREATIVITY AND SOUL APPEARANCE...........................89

Sham Flow / Conditions for Genuine Flow /


Consequences of Flow / Conditions for Creativity /
Consequences of Creativity / Flashes of Soul Appearance /
Soul Appearance under Exceptional Circumstances /
Sudden Permanent Soul Appearance / Treading the Way

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

PART THREE: THE WAY


18/ SPIRITUAL PRACTICE ........................................................................97

Endless Activity / Insanity /


Only One Thing Is Needed / Boredom
19/ TWO TECHNIQUES FOR VERIFICATION ....................................101

Technique One / Technique Two


20/ INDICATION OF READINESS...........................................................109

Utter Disgust / To Be or Not to Be / Gargantuan Dilemma


21/ WARRIOR-SELF ..................................................................................112

Attributes and Task of the Warrior-Self /


Beware of Perversion / From Personality to Soul
22/ SOUL REALIZATION..........................................................................115

Freedom and Choice / Equanimity and Discrimination /


Equanimity and Indifference
23/ THREE STAGES OF THE WAY.........................................................119

Stable Circumstances / Unstable Circumstances /


Transience Everywhere
24/ STAGE ONE OF THE WAY ..........................................................122

Birth and Growth of the Warrior-Self / Deciding War /


Gaining the Upper Hand / Sudden Breakthrough /
Nothing Lasts Forever
25/ STAGE TWO OF THE WAY .........................................................126

Intermittent and Brief Soul Appearances / Duality /


Unfamiliar Reactions / Concomitant Effects /
Man Reaps What He Sows / Toward the End
26/ STAGE THREE OF THE WAY.....................................................134

Additional Dimension of Perception / Synthetic Perception /


Liberation from the Past / Encompassing Awareness /
Intelligence and Vulnerability

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

27/ DIFFICULTY OF THE WAY ..............................................................138

One Continuous Mistake / Looking Within /


A Word of Encouragement
28/ FIVE SIGNPOSTS...........................................................................142

Desire / Fear / Agitation / Exhaustion / Doubt


29/ HINDRANCES .................................................................................145
30/ RELATIVITY OF PLEASURE AND PAIN..................................147

Unconditional Acceptance
31/ RELATIVITY OF TIME ................................................................150
32/ STRENUOUS STRUGGLE AND SURRENDER .........................151

Without Expectation / With Expectation /


Enormous Expectation / Secret of Health /
Remembering Aim
33/ HALFWAY STATE.........................................................................155

Half Self / Half Soul


34/ RECAPITULATION .............................................................................157

Active into Passive / Everywhere Interconnected /


Maximum and Constant Tension / Way Out of Impasse /
Passive into Active into Neutral / Immediate Resultant Fruit /
Many Strive, Few Succeed
35/ OBSERVATION PRACTICE...............................................................161

Impressions, Higher Attention, Awareness /


Coarse Impressions and Their Reactions /
Coarse Impressions Mask the Fine /
Transformation of Coarse into Fine
36/ THREE WELL-KNOWN OBSERVATION TECHNIQUES ......165

Alexander Technique / Autogenic Training / EMDR


37/ OBSERVATION IN DAILY ACTIVITY ......................................171
38/ MIND AND RELAXATION MACHINES ....................................173

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39/ RAJA YOGA ..........................................................................................175

Initial Struggle / Transcendence / Warrior-Circumstances


40/ STEP ONE: YAMA (Abstinence from Unwholesome Acts).........179
41/ STEP TWO: NIYAMA (Cultivation of Wholesome Acts)............180

Sex / Fasting / Devotional Practice / Spiritual Study


42/ STEP THREE: ASANA (Physical Posture) ...................................187

Limited Observation / Excessive Effort /


Sensory Observation / Kinesthetic Observation /
Asana in Activity / Unbalanced All Round /
Reaction upon Reaction
43/ STEP FOUR: PRANAYAMA (Regulation of the Breath)............192
44/ STEP FIVE: PRATYAHARA (Controlling the Senses) ...............193
45/ STEP SIX: DHARANA (Concentration) .......................................194
46/ STEP SEVEN: DHYANA (Meditation) .........................................195
47/ INSIGHT ONE ...........................................................................196

Sudden Breakthrough / Gradual Breakthrough


48/ INSIGHT TWO ..........................................................................198

Decreasing Warrior-Self, Increasing Perceiver


49/ CONCENTRATION VERSUS MEDITATION ................200

Pure Concentration /
Three Advantages of Insight Meditation
50/ INSIGHT THREE......................................................................203

Adverse Circumstances / Run Without Swinging /


Think Without Thinking
51/ INSIGHT FOUR ........................................................................207
52/ LOOKING BACK..................................................................................208

Non-Constancy of Tension / Progress of Perception

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

53/ RELATIONSHIP OF AN ABNORMAL MAN ...................................212


54/ RELATIONSHIP OF A WARRIOR-MAN .........................................214

Way of Aloneness / Leaving Others Alone


55/ RELATIONSHIP OF A NORMAL MAN ...........................................217

Carl Rogers / Maria Montessori


56/ INSIGHT FOUR AGAIN ......................................................................223
57/ BEYOND INSIGHT FOUR ..................................................................224

The Spirit / Reaction of Conflicting Soul-Forces /


World-Creator / Impeccable Action
58/ EVOLUTION IN GENERAL ...............................................................229

In the Beginning / Involution / Evolution /


Vanity of Vanities / Man Is Everything
59/ EVOLUTION OF MAN ..................................................................233

Physical Man / Emotional Man / Mental Man /


Parable of the Sower / Intensified Conflicting Forces
60/ UNSTOPPABLE EVOLUTION .....................................................238

Becoming Individual / Becoming Global /


Fruit of Evolution
61/ THE READER .......................................................................................242

Becoming Responsible / Becoming Independent /


The Three Ways / Apparent Contradictions
62/ EPILOGUE.............................................................................................248

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

Authors note on gender and equality


The words man and he are used to prevent choppiness and to
prevent confusing the reader with he or she. Why must he come
first anyway? Hence, to be equal, then she or he must be stated an
equal number of times. If that is not confusing enough, then throw
in an equal number of she and he also.
Nevertheless, as long as the man is born from the womb of a
woman, he can shout himself hoarse regarding his superiority, but
the fact remains that without a she, there will be no he.

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

PREFACE
This book makes disturbing and unpleasant statements about the
behavior and state of being of an average man. In addition to
supporting evidence, it provides techniques to verify these
statements. Further, it provides a working concept of his state of
being. More important, it provides the necessary principles to
remove inner, psychological conflict in order to attain harmony.
If the reader is willing to endure much inconvenience,
disturbance and unpleasantness for a few days, he can directly
verify many of these statements in that few days. To remove all the
inner conflict, however, requires many years of ceaseless and
difficult struggle. Therefore, if the reader is not willing to be
inconvenienced or disturbed, it will be better for him to put aside
this book because the mere knowledge of these statements can be
disturbing. On the other hand, he may laugh aloud at the seeming
exaggerated absurdity of these statements. If he then proceeds to
laugh even louder at his own absurd behavior and state of being, it
will be even better.
This book focuses on the source of conflictwithin the man
himself. Carl Jung says that for the man to know himself is the most
terrifying thing. Therefore, it is primarily for the reader who is
prepared to face the most terrifying experience. It is for the reader
who has realized from observation and experience, at least to a
certain extent, that he himself is the cause of all his problems. It is
for the reader who is prepared to face and neutralize conflict, rather
than to go on living as before, piling up conflict upon conflict. And
it is for the reader who is prepared to fight against himself. The
average man is already continually fighting against himself, but the
more he fights, the more he hates himself and others. If only he
knows how to fight in the right way, then the more he fights, the
more he will love himself and will naturally love others.

TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

The Bhagavad Gita says:


Let a man raise himself by his Self, let him never lower
himself; for he alone is the friend of himself and he alone
is the enemy of himself. He who has conquered himself by
the Self, he is the friend of himself; but he whose self is
unconquered, his self acts as his own enemy like an
external foe.
The reader must avoid the strong habitual tendency to believe
or disbelieve. If he does, in a way, he already assumes that he
knows what is true or falsea most dangerous assumption.
Anyway, convenience and expediency usually dictate whatever he
believes or disbelieves. In so doing, he avoids the difficult task of
finding out for himself what is actually true; he also avoids the even
more difficult task of facing the truth, of aligning his life with it.
This tendency is a most common method to avoid conflict and
therefore a primary cause of conflict.
It is true that man cannot guide his life without beliefs, but they
must be intelligent beliefs. An intelligent belief is based on facts and
direct experiences. It is also true that man learns through mistakes,
that is, if additional fact or experience contradicts any of his beliefs,
then he must re-examine it. A blind belief is not based on any fact or
experience. An absurd belief contradicts facts and experiences. The
average man is full of blind and absurd beliefs; this condition
clearly causes much conflict. Furthermore, he continually changes
his beliefs, back and forth. Consequently, his lack of constancy
compounds the conflicts caused by these beliefs.

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PART ONE

OF CONFLICT
The frequency and intensity of war steadily increased from Roman
times onward, and its destructive impact has escalated. Three
quarters of all war deaths since the days of Julius Caesar have
occurred in this century. The number of war-related deaths has risen
from less than one million in the fifteenth century to some 110
million so far in this one, far outpacing the rate of population
growth.
Michael Renner, State of the World, a 1993 report

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1
GLOBAL
CONFLICT

The entire world is awash with conflict. Though man, for eons, has
clamored for harmony, conflict has not decreased. Instead, it has
increased and has become more pervasive and subtle. War is simply
a conspicuous conflict, hiding innumerable smaller conflicts waiting
to explode later. In fact, war and these smaller conflicts are merely
effects and relatively minor. They are caused by far more intense
inner conflicts. If these inner conflicts are faced and neutralized as
they arise, there will be no war, no Hitler. Hitler might even become
Mother Teresa. If Saul the persecutor could become Paul the
apostle, if Milarepa the mass murderer could become a most revered
spiritual teacher, would it have been impossible for Hitler to become
Mother Teresa?
Anyway, what could one man do? If Hitler was not inside the
people of Germany, could they be so easily persuaded and
manipulated to do what they did? In fact, Hitler is inside everybody.
Which man, if he dares to look deeply within, will not find Hitler
lurking inside him? If he did, however, he will also find Mother
Teresa inside him.
American Civil War hero, General Robert Lee admitted, It is
good that war is so terrible or else we would love it too much.
Does man find immense pleasure and enjoyment in crippling
another man, in putting a bullet into his heart, in risking being
crippled, and in having a bullet in his own heart? Obviously so, but
why? Is life that pathetic, that lacking in value, that man can only
experience aliveness while indulging in such idiotic activity?

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In Dhammapada, Buddha says:


If one man conquers in battle a thousand times a thousand
men, but if another conquers himself, he is the greatest of
conquerors. Ones own self conquered is better than all
other people; not even a god, a Gandharva [a celestial
musician], not Mara [the evil one], could change into
defeat the victory of a man who has vanquished himself,
and always lives under restraint.
If man truly loves fighting so much, then he will certainly love
fighting this ultimate wara war that will continually push his
courage, strength, endurance, vigilance and skill to the limit. If he
dares to dive into the source of conflict, to fight this ultimate war
that will end all wars, not only will he experience a harmony that
surpasses his comprehension, he will also experience an aliveness
that surpasses his comprehension.
Otherwise, his fighting is an act of cowardice, merely the
reaction to avoid fighting this ultimate war, that is, fighting against
himself. At best, this reaction and all his attempts to avoid his inner
conflicts will only reduce them for a moment and often result in
more inner conflicts later. The increasing number and degree of
inner conflicts are due to his unceasing attempts to avoid them every
moment of his life. These inner conflicts are then displaced
externally. Hence, due to his avoidance, conflict has become so
much a part of his daily life that he has assumed it to be normal,
natural and inevitable. Why, he even loves it, otherwise how is he
going to pass his time?

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2
PROGRESS
OF
CONFLICT

Birth of Conflict
When a baby is born, he is an adorable angel, bringing cheer to
everyone. Some years later, he has become a fretful, implacable and
rebellious devil. What is the cause of this metamorphosis?
Shortly after he was born, the conditioning and conflict begin,
primarily through association, imitation and education. Each time he
hears the word good or right, it is accompanied by reward, smiles,
approval, and everything associated with pleasure. Each time he
hears the word bad or wrong, it is accompanied by punishment,
scowls, disapproval, and everything associated with pain.
Regarding his behavior, one person tells him that it is good and
right, but another person tells him that it is bad and wrong. With the
first person, he is rewarded; with the second, he is punishedfor
the same behavior.
Even worse, one moment one person criticizes him for a certain
behavior, but the next moment the same person praises him for the
same behavior. For example, if he lies, his father may call him bad,
tell him lying is wrong, criticize and punish him. But when the
phone rings, his father may ask him to take the call and tell him, if it
is his boss, to reply that his father is not at home. Then his father
may call him good, tell him that he has done the right thing, praise
and reward him.
When his father comes home in a cheerful mood, everything he
did is good and right even though already forbidden. But when his
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father comes home in a lousy mood, everything he did is bad and


wrong even though he had not committed any forbidden act.
One moment he is smothered with kisses and hugs; the next
moment he is violently shoved away. He solely depends on his
parents for survival and security, but half the time his approaches
are rebuffed. Further, he is often angrily told not to be angry and
worriedly advised not to worry. Faced with all these contradictions,
how long can he hold up?
He simply finds himself fearful, confused, helpless and
insecure. His innate attempts to regulate and control his actions in a
consistent and orderly manner, instead of ensuring harmony, only
bring him more conflict, more pain.
Because whatever happens to him is based on external
circumstances, he learns, through imitation, to try to control and
manipulate everybody and everything; thus, self-control and selfdiscipline disappear. Instead of inner self-directed actions, he learns
to respond reactively, always based on external circumstances,
along the line of least resistance, of least conflict. Because
circumstances change from moment to moment, he also changes
from moment to moment. He has become a veritable chameleon. He
ceases to be self-responsible but defensive, always self-justifying
and blaming others. For how can he be self-responsible when
whether he is rewarded or punished is not based on his behavior but
on circumstances?
As he gets older, he increasingly begins to evaluate everybody
and everything in terms of right and wrong, good and bad, as if he
can already distinguish right from wrong, good from bada
difficulty that confounds even profound thinkers.
Growth of Conflict
Having little experience and understanding, a child is exposed,
especially in todays society, to books, movies and advertisementscalculated to evoke distorted imaginations and fantasies
for hours a day. Because his discriminating faculty is still in its
infancy, he uncritically absorbs all the distorted and exaggerated
oblique messages as if they are true and desirable, conditioning
numerous strong desires into him. Because he is unable to pursue
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these desires, they are displaced into daydreams and fantasies. As he


daydreams and fantasizes, his false imagination grows stronger and
creates more distorted and exaggerated impressions.
As a young boy, and throughout his adult life, he is exposed to
endless streams of distorted and exaggerated boasts by people
around him, creating even more and stronger distorted and
exaggerated impressions. Their fear of ridicule, contempt and
alienation compels them to boast; having similar fears, he begins to
pretend and start boasting, too.
Regarding material possession, he may find it difficult to
deceive others and himself that he already has what he desires.
Regarding intangible qualities, such as artistry, creativity, ingenuity,
especially goodness and rightness, however, he can attempt to
deceive others, or at least himself, that he already is what he desires
to be. If other people refuse to go along with the deceptions, he is
offended. Of course, most people are too preoccupied to pay any
attention and are indifferent to his boasts. That makes no difference,
the lack of acknowledgment and approbation is enough to offend
him. Consequently, he is often offended.
Whether he succeeds in deceiving others or not is questionable,
but before long he has definitely managed to deceive and delude
himself. In fact, he is strongly compelled to deceive himself. The
fear of noticing his seeming nothingness and impotency is simply
too unbearable, so he strenuously strives to deny and avoid
everything that is contrary to his distorted and exaggerated selfimage. Because of his fear that he may be an insignificant bug, he
strenuously avoids trying to find out his actual state of being.
Maybe the truth ishe is infinitely and inconceivably more
magnificent than all his fanciful distorted and exaggerated
imaginations put together, yet he walls off the truth with false
imaginations. What can be sadder?
Maturity of Conflict
As he gets older and exposes himself more widely, the
immense absurdity, silliness and contradiction that pile up around
him and cause immense conflict within him have ceased to bother
him. He has become immune and unconscious of what is around
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him and within him, except for what is most pressing, what most
affects him, at the moment. He has become an expert in the art of
denial, avoidance, distortion, exaggerationand manipulation.
For example, why is it that in adverse and painful situations, a
woman generally indulges in sorrow and self-pity while a man
bursts in anger? Is it in the genes? Or is it conditioning, too?
When a woman puts on a sorrowful and self-pitying
countenance, not only she is not ridiculed, she usually receives
sympathy, attention and assistance. Is it strange that she constantly
drags up unfortunate incidents that happened decades ago and
indulges in self-pity at every trifle? It is a most powerful tool to
manipulate others to give in to her. What if she indulges in anger,
wont she be ridiculed? But when a man indulges in anger, no
criticism comes his way. In fact, he is often seen as manly, selfassertive, and not easily pushed; hence, he will tend to use anger to
get his way. If he indulges in self-pity even once, he will be the butt
of many peoples jokes for years.
In Anatomy of the Spirit, Caroline Myss says that it is often far
more difficult to release the power you derive from your wound
than it is to release the memory of the painful experience.
These innumerable absurd, silly and contradictory actions,
words and thoughts result in immense inner conflict and tension
within him. Further, who can tell how much more conflict and
tension are added by his colossal propensity to behave toward others
winningly in their presence, but to criticize them viciously in their
absence.

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3
CONCEPT
AND
CONFLICT

Father Giovanni says:


Understanding is the essence obtained from information
intentionally learned and from all kinds of experiences
personally experienced . . . whereas knowledge [that is,
concepts] is only the automatic remembrance of words in
a certain sequence.
A concept can be a notion, a belief, a conviction, a doctrine, an
assumption, an opinion, or an idea. A concept is a mental
constructthoughts in words, images, or boththat dimly reflects
reality. It is definitely not reality. Even the most impartial and
accurate concept is only a dim reflection of reality. It is crucial to
remember that a concept is an extremely simplified and static
version of what it reflects. For example, the word tree or an image
of a tree reflects something inconceivably intricate and ever
changing.
At best, an accurate concept is useful as a pointer, a signpost, a
map, or a crutch: a pointer pointing toward reality, a signpost or a
map to guide him, or a crutch to support him temporarily. But man
has mistaken concepts to be reality, the pointer to be the pointed, the
signpost to be the destination, the map to be the city, and the crutch
to be part of him. These mistakes are the source of all contradictions
and conflicts.
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Beginning of Thoughts
The retaining of thoughts begins when a child is about two
years old. For example, if a ball is placed behind a couch, a oneyear-old child will not go to retrieve it, but a two-year-old child, due
to the retained image of the ball, will; and he will be upset if the ball
is not there as expected.
Further, Maria Montessori finds that when a child is between
two to four years old, it is vitally important to keep everything in its
accustomed place and to carry out only accustomed activities. The
slightest infringement is liable to upset him, and he frequently reacts
with despairing cries and tantrums. The child already has retained
thoughts of his past environment and activities; hence, any
mismatch of his thoughts with his present environment and
activities causes conflict.
How Concept Causes Conflict
In Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, Betty Edwards
gives an excellent example on how concept conflicts with
observation. When a ten-year-old student draws a square cube that
is in front of him, instead of drawing it as it is, he usually begins by
drawing a square and then attempts to make it into a cube with other
lines. In so doing, he produces a drawing that does not resemble the
cube. The student knows that a square cube has a square surface on
all sides, and his drawing is based on this concept. If he had actually
seen the cube as it is, he will find that none of the two or three
surfaces he sees is square. Consequently, he becomes confused by
the conflict, which is reflected in his drawing.
Similar discrepancy between concepts and seeing applies to
other objects, such as table and chair. If the student cannot see
simple, concrete and static objects with clarity, how can he observe
complicated, abstract and dynamic processes?
It does not imply that his concept that a square tabletop must be
equal in length on all sides is wrong. The table will only appear
square if seen from above, with eyes directly above the center of the
table. From various other positions, the tabletop will appear to take
on various other shapes. To see clearly these non-square shapes, the

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student must be able to recognize concept as concept, instead of


mistaking it for reality.
Further, if he is willing to bear the pain of the seeming
contradiction between his concept and his seeing, that is, if he is
willing to consider the possibility that both his concept and his
seeing are correct though they appear to contradict each other, then
he may discover the principle of perspectivethe representation of
three-dimensional object on a two-dimensional surfacefrom direct
experience and resolve the apparent contradiction. Otherwise, his
concept distorts his seeing, and vice versa.
His concept that a square tabletop must appear square is too
narrow and is only true from one particular position. He must
expand his concept by including the principle of perspective.
Likewise, a childs concept of love, that is, his conditional love for
his parents is not wrong, but far too narrow and shallow. He must
gradually learn to broaden and deepen his concept until it becomes
an unconditional love for everybody and everything, then and only
then, his concept of love will harmonize with reality. Otherwise, he
is liable to commit hateful actions in the name of love.
Edwards also finds that most adults also draw like children,
no matter what level they may have achieved in other areas of life.
Hence, they can be brilliant in a few areas, but their behavior can
still be absurd, silly and contradictory.
What Is a Chair?
Illustrating further how the simplest concept can easily cause
confusion and conflict: for instance, how will the modern man
describe a chair to a Stone Age man? It may appear easy because
the Stone Age man is not obstructed by a preexisting distorted
concept.
First, he may describe its function, that is, a chair is meant to
sit on. In this sense, many non-chairs can easily become chairs, and
many chairs will be left out. A stone can become a chair, but a chair
only for display, as that in a museum, will be left out.
Second, he may describe its general features: a flat surface with
four legs and a back support. In this sense, a bed can become a
chair, but numerous chairs without these features will be left out.
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Third, he may describe its function and attempt to describe all


the various particular features of a chair, which is impossible.
Further, new types of chairs are continually being created.
Of course, he can point his index finger toward a chair or show
the Stone Age man a photograph of a chair. Isnt it likely for the
Stone Age man to assume that the finger or the photograph is the
chair? Even if he is clever enough to look at the pointed chair, it is
only a particular chair. Just imagine the confusion and conflict of
three Stone Age men, each having a particular description or image
in his head, arguing whether the object in front of them is a chair or
not.
In general, if a group of people is shown an object, they will
have little trouble agreeing whether it is a chair or not. This
consensus is made possible because they had seen and experienced
many types of chairs under many different circumstances. Out of
these experiences, their mental faculties have extracted, to a certain
extent, the universal and abstract features of a chairits essence.
This abstract chair cannot be described, drawn or imagined.
Nevertheless, it poses an irresistible challenge to some people,
namely Picasso. He tried to paint the universal; his paintings are so
abstract that nobody knows what he had painted. Even then, it is not
truly abstract, for they still consist of particular shapes.
Desire Controls Man
If two men are involved in a bet over an object, then
disagreement and conflict are assured. One man will effortlessly
produce a truckload of reasons and explanations to prove that the
object is a chair; the other man will just as effortlessly produce
another truckload of reasons and explanations to prove that it is not
a chair. If the two men change sides, then the reasons and
explanations change sides, too. Irrespective of the side taken, the
cleverer man always wins; he is a magician and can easily change
black charcoal into white chalk, and vice versa. As long as there is
desire, distortion and delusion are inevitable.
Impartiality is essential to clear seeing. But the mans attention
is almost never on the impartial and neutral. Whatever he is
impartial toward, he either ignores or simply does not notice. His
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desires always trap and control his attention. For example, the man
can easily name the three colors of the traffic lights correctly, but he
will often name the positions of the lights wrongly though he has
seen them innumerable times and often with fierce staring eyes.
(The reader may wish to verify for himself by naming the color of
the topmost light. Anyway, even if he names it blindly, he will still
get it right one-third of the time.) Further, everythingthe red
traffic light, the pedestrians, the car in frontthat blocks his way is
seen as an obstacle, as an irritant, deserving his wrath.
Buddha says, Wise people do not call that a strong fetter
which is made of iron, wood, or hemp; passionately strong is the
care for precious stones and rings, for sons and a wife. It is because
an iron fetter only controls the mans physical actions, but desire
controls his actions, feelings and thoughts. Whatever he desires
most at the moment is always good, right, most meaningful, most
important, and of most value. Anybody or anything that happens to
aid him is good and right. Anybody or anything that happens to
hinder him is bad and wrong.
For example, if a soccer player scores a goal, numerous of his
compatriots will cheer and vow undying love for him. Nevertheless,
if he happens to kick the ball into his own goal post the next day, or
even ten minutes later, he will need a dozen bodyguards to protect
him from the very people who had vowed undying love for him
earlier. But his compatriots who did not vow undying love for him
will leave him alone, unharmed, and may even sympathize with
him.
Further, the man often likes an object one moment but dislikes
it the next, therefore anybody or anything that is good and right one
moment can easily become bad and wrong the next moment. For
example, when he likes to smoke, then cigarette is good, but when
he dislikes to smoke, then it is bad.
The man, however, does not notice the contradiction and
conflict of his behavior. It has become so habitual and automatic
that he has ceased to notice them. Hence, he is always deceiving and
deluding himself.

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What Am I?
The word I is undoubtedly the most frequently used. The
wordsgood, bad, right, wrongare the second most frequently
used. But does the man sincerely ask himself, even just once in his
entire life, what he meant by these words?
What am I? If pressed, he may give the nave reply, I am my
body/brain; hence, I am also my sensations, feelings and thoughts.
If sowhy does he work his body/brain so relentlessly, ignoring all
the warning signals until it breaks down? Why does he look after his
car more diligently than his body/brain? Why does he fill his body
with so much harmful food and drink? Why does he fill his brain
with so many violent and conflicting thoughts? Does he find it
pleasurable? Obviously so! But why does he find it pleasurable to
destroy his very own body/brain? Isnt it most reasonable to look
after its welfare with the utmost diligence and care?
Why is he ashamed of some of his body parts, sensations,
feelings and thoughts, but proud of some others? Isnt it most
reasonable to look upon all his body parts, sensations, feelings and
thoughts with equal regard, equal care? What can be more absurd,
contradictory and conflicting?
He uses himself as the measure and reference point for
everybody and everything. How can he measure correctly when he
knows nothing about himself, when his measure and reference point
keep on changing? Can he use a ruler to measure an object correctly
when he knows nothing about the ruler? Wont he find the object to
be two inches one moment, nine feet the next momentand five
pounds the moment after?
Value of Thoughts
Why does the man strive so agonizingly hard to be seen and
thought of as good and right by people, particularly by himself? His
striving to think well of himself clearly implies that he has no
control of his thoughts. How then can he control the thoughts of
others? If he is badhe is bad. Will it make any difference even if
the whole world were to call him good? Will he then become good?
Why does he put so much value into what other people and he
himself think, but no value on what he actually is?
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In fact, he is so deeply conditioned by these wordsgood, bad,


right, wrongthat though he was exploited and manipulated by
other people with these words innumerable times, they still affect
him strongly. He still clings to the words good and rightand fears
the words bad and wrong. Everything he does and possesses must
be called good and right.
Further, why is he so eager to sacrifice his time and energy
even his lifein the vain hope of being remembered after his death?
Are thoughts of him by other people more important than his life?
Does he really continue to live as long as he is thought of? Does he
assume that thoughts are reality? These thoughts effectively shield
him from reality; hence, he lives within an enclosed world of
distorted imaginations and delusions.
Sensation, Feeling and Thought
The man may reply that the benefitssuccess, promotion,
wealth, status, reputation, popularity, companionship and loveare
really what he values, which are dependent on what others think of
him. Does he ask himself what he meant by these words, these
benefits? Apart from a little sensual pleasure, these benefits are
merely to enhance what others think of him and what he thinks of
himself. If not, why does he endure a ton of pain for an ounce of
sensual pleasure?
Undoubtedly, the most sensual pleasure is sex. Nevertheless, he
spends only a little time in physical sex, but indulges in mental sex
throughout the day. He even indulges in mental sex during physical
sex. If he thinks of something else during physical sex, he tends to
lose interest in the physical sex itself because his sex organs
including all other sense organshave atrophied, have become
insensitive, and are distorted. Hence, he only notices and
experiences unusually intense reactions and often finds pleasure in
painful and harmful reactions.
Consequently, he continually strives to intensify the stimuli
acting upon his body and the intensity of his thoughts, evoking more
conflicting, distorted and exaggerated thoughts. These two activities
feed on each other in a vicious loop. Elastic bands of feelings

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connect the sensations and thoughts with one another into a


constantly changing maze of inconceivably unpredictable jumble.
For instance, if he is physically beaten, it can just as easily
evoke associated pleasurable sensations, feelings and thoughts. In
fact, he sometimes derives pleasure from banging his head against
the wall, which may even seem natural and reasonable.
The man may glibly assert that sticks and stones may break his
bones, but words will never hurt him. In fact, he soon recovers from
physical pain, but he may suffer from painful words all his life. He
fears mental pain far more than physical pain; similarly, he clings to
mental pleasure far more than physical pleasure.
Why then does he value thoughts so much? Or rather, why do
thoughts affect him so much?
Without thoughts, feelings cannot last for more than a moment,
and sensations are gone when the stimuli are gone. Because
thoughts can be long lasting, sensations and feelings can be
vicariously re-experienced if they cling to thoughts, giving them a
false impression of permanency.
More important, the world is constantly changingfluid,
unpredictable, moving into areas new and unknown to the man; so
external stimuli are fluid, unpredictable, new and unknown. The
man uses thoughts as defenses to protect himself from the new and
unknown. His fear of the new and unknown is so immense that,
rather than facing it, he usually prefers even painful thoughts.
His fear of the new and unknown touches all areas of his life.
For example, he may enter a supermarket and complain that there is
nothing to eat, nothing new and different, although thousands of
varieties of food surround him and he had tasted only a tiny fraction
of them. He is tired of eating the same food and desires to eat
different food, but is afraid to do so. He has thousands of choices,
yet he complains he has no choice. Faced with the uncertainty and
fear of choosing the food he dislikes, he chooses to avoid the
responsibility of choosing and facing the fears within him, so he
denies and avoids them and blames his problem on the supermarket.
He had already classifiedautomatically and unconsciously
only the familiar food as food and all the unfamiliar food as nonfood. For him, new and different imply familiar food with stronger
taste or slight variation. The phrase nothing to eat, nothing new and
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different is plainly false and absurd. Isnt it strange that he is blind


to it? He has learned to be blind with open eyes. As long as he is
afraid to be self-responsible, for him, that phrase will always be
true.

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4
CONDITION
OF
MAN

Behavior of Man
The man is like someone deep within the enclosure of a ship with a
dead engine. Though the howling wind tosses the ship about, though
it causes numerous changes and movements within the ship, and
though a violent current steadily carries it toward an area filled with
numerous large blocks of ice, he is oblivious to them all. He has
automatically adapted to the internal changes and movements;
therefore, he notices and experiences no movement, no change.
Though violent storms occasionally jolt him up, when they are
over, he behaves as if they did not happen. Not only does he stay
inside the ship, he is afraid even to explore the inside of it, for fear
of the unfamiliar. Eventually, he manages to deceive himself that
nothing is happening, that he is cozy, warm, safe and secure
creating a false impression of permanency.
The mans inner conditions are like the inside of the ship.
Though everything is happening to him, though he is constantly
exposed to an endless variety of external stimuli and inner reactions,
though an endless stream of vicious conflicts and battles goes on
within him, though he is a mass of confusion and contradiction, and
though he is heading toward death, he only notices a tiny fraction of
these impressionsonly the place he has locked himself in. A
traumatic experience may jolt him awake for a while, but when it is
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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

over, he falls sound asleep again. Hence, he acts as if nothing is


happening to him.
He stays inside the ship because to go outside the cold and
biting wind will toss him about. Further, he will perceive his
precarious situationof being carried toward where he knows
notthus evoking deep feelings of fear, helplessness and
impotency. If he realizes that he is heading toward the blocks of ice,
what will he do? In the face of impending death, will he still carry
on with his accustomed activities? Wont he realize the utter vanity
and meaninglessness of all his previous actions, words and
thoughts?
Will he tightly shut himself inside the ship and continue to
behave as before? Will he whine, lament and indulge in sorrow and
self-pity? Will he lash out in impotent fury and frustration, hurling
curses at his fate and god, doing violence to the ship even to the
point of sinking it?
Or will hedespite the impossible odds, with no guarantee
whatsoever, without sparing any effortstrive to find out as much
as possible about the ship, the external circumstances, and the
floating ice by attempting to contact the people who can supply
useful information about them? (Yes, the radio is in excellent
condition.) What are the odds of repairing the ship and safely
navigating it through the floating ice by a man who has not even
seen the inside of a ship before, except the place he had locked
himself in? To make matters worse, he is given numerous
conflicting descriptions of the ship, mostly from people who have
not even seen the inside of a ship themselves, but claimed to be
experts in repairing ships.
Hence, the man must be willing to make mistake after mistake,
to begin all over again and again, times without number. The only
way to sustain his struggle is the constant remembrance of the
impending disaster and death. It will certainly be wonderful if a
helicopter can arrive and whisk him away. Likewise, it will be just
as wonderful if a priest can save his soul by sprinkling a few drops
of water.

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Mechanical Man
Gurdjieff says:
Man is a machine. All his deeds, actions, words, thoughts,
feelings, convictions, opinions, and habits are the results
of external influences, external impressions. Out of
himself a man cannot produce a single thought, a single
action. Everything he says, does, thinks, feelsall this
happens. . . . To establish this fact for oneself, to
understand it, to be convinced of its truth, means getting
rid of a thousand illusions about man. . . . Man is born,
lives, dies, builds houses, writes books, not as he wants to,
but as it happens. Everything happens. Man does not love,
hate, desireall this happens. But no one will ever
believe you if you tell him he can do nothing. This is the
most offensive and the most unpleasant thing you can tell
people. It is particularly unpleasant and offensive because
it is the truth, and nobody wants to know the truth.
The above quote is taken from In Search of the Miraculous. Its
author, P.D. Ouspensky, one of the most profound thinkers of the
twentieth century, had already written Tertium Organum and A New
Model of the Universe before he met Gurdjieff. During one of their
talks, Gurdjieff said to him, If you understood everything you have
written in your own book . . . I should come and bow down to you
and beg you to teach me. But you do not understand either what you
read or what you write. You do not even understand what the word
understand means.
Initially Ouspensky found the idea that man is a machine and
that he can do nothing very difficult to swallow. Nonetheless, he
soon verified for himself the truth and became Gurdjieffs disciple.
After his training, Ouspensky dedicated his life toward Gurdjieffs
teachings. The reader need not attempt to swallow or believe blindly
what Gurdjieff says; there are available techniques he can verify for
himself.

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An Illustration of Mechanical Behavior


One morning an irresistible force propelled MIT Professor
Marvin Minsky to one corner of his classroom and pinned
him there as securely as a butterfly impaled in museum
showcase. It was force of habita brand new habit
imposed upon him on the spot by a group of playfully
experimental students. The boys had him at their mercy,
as if he were a robot slave and they the masters at the
controls.
They robotomized Minsky with a psychological
ruse much like the methods for teaching rats to run
through a maze, or training a dog to fetch a newspaper.
Soon after class began, a few students started
manipulating him. Whenever he paced to the right, they
whispered softly to each other, rustled papers, dropped
pencils, and created other minor distractions. But when he
happened to take a few steps to the left, they sat up and
obviously paid close attention to the lecture. In short they
conditioned Minsky by repeatedly punishing him for
moving in one direction and rewarding him for moving in
the opposite direction. Within half an hour he stopped
pacing altogether and stood like a cigar store Indian near
the left-hand edge of the blackboard. So subtly had he
been habituated that he did not realize an experiment was
in progress, and that he was the guinea pigironically,
since Minsky is a leading authority on the theory of
automatons.
Think, November-December 1969
Minskys desire to get his students to pay attention absorbed all
his attention, even to the point of not noticing his awkward physical
posture. His actions were reactions to the external stimuli, only
noticed by his desire. What was Minsky? Where was Minsky? At
that moment, he was that desire; he was lost in it, that is, his
attention was lost in it. That desire noticed itself and controlled his

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body to satisfy itself. No one, no entity, was available to perceive


that desire or anything else.
Because perception must precede control, therefore, apart from
that desire, there is no control. If Minsky could not notice his
unusual awkward state, how could he notice his usual comfortable
state? If the mere desire for the students attention had driven him
into an absurd position, just imagine the kind of absurdity his
stronger desires would compel him to do. Yet he is a brilliant man!
Another Illustration of Mechanical Behavior
In a research study by neurophysiologists Benjamin Libet and
Bertram Feinstein, each subject was requested to press a button the
moment he was touched. Their findings: the subjects brains
registered the touch stimulus 0.0001 second after the touch; the
subjects pressed the button 0.1 second after the touch; the subjects
only reported noticing either the touch stimulus or the button
pressing nearly 0.5 second later.
Even more disturbingnone of the subjects knew that they
only noticed the intention to press the button after they had
already pressed it. As a result, they were deluded into assuming that
they controlled the button pressing.
This study has stirred up the scientific community, leading
some researchers to question the existence of free will. But isnt it
obvious that each of the subjects had completely no control of his
button pressing? How could he control it when he could not even
notice it at the same time he was pressing it? Even if he could, it
was already too late. In order to have control, he must perceive his
intention to press the button before he actually presses it. Further, he
must also be able to control his intention. In fact, regarding all
activities, the average man only notices what he has doneif he
notices it at allafter he had already done it.
What actually happened? Briefly, the touch stimulus evoked
the touch impression, which evoked the thought press the button,
which in turn evoked the actual physical pressing. The physical
pressing evoked the thought report the pressing, which in turn
evoked the reporting.

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During the entire processboth thoughts, that is, intentions,


were not noticedonly the reactions to the touch stimulus and to
these thoughts were noticed. This is common. When attention is
directed on specific physical reactions, thoughts are not noticed and
even most of the impressions, that is, feelings and other sensations,
are not noticed. The average man can only notice his thoughts
during quiet moments, even then, only a tiny fraction.
The reporting was mistaken to be the perceiving of the
button pressing by the subjects, perhaps by the researchers, too. The
subjects had only a small amount of attention; hence, the sequence
of reactions took almost 0.5 second. That is, they could not notice
their reactions to the thought press the button and report their
noticing immediately. The amount of attention depends on the
amount of desire, and most of their attention was absorbed by
numerous other stronger desires. In short, they were preoccupied.
Further, the time lag between the physical pressing and the reporting
was partly due to the unaccustomed activities.
If the subjects were to participate in the experiment for a long
time, the time lag will be shortened because the reactions, that is,
the evoking of associated impressions, will become stronger and
faster. Further, all the reactions, including the touch impression,
physical sensations of pressing the button and the reporting, will
become habitual and automatic and cease to be noticedthe same
way the average man does not notice the innumerable impressions
evoked by external stimuli in his daily life.
Having control involves the ability to perceive the impressions
and stimuli distinctly, and the power to refrain from reacting. How
can there be any control when the vast majority of impressions are
not even noticed?
Apropos of the above, in Weve Had a Hundred Years of
PsychotherapyAnd the Worlds Getting Worse by James Hillman
and Michael Ventura, Hillman says, I think therapy has made a
philosophical mistake, which is that cognition precedes conation
that knowing precedes doing or action. I dont think thats the case.
I think reflection has always been after the event.
After a lifetime of struggle to help his clients, he found his
struggles to be futile and inconsequential. Hence, he ends up ranting
and raving and making empty protests: Still, Im going on
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protesting, and protesting against therapy. Somethings rotten in its


kingdom, and Ill go on saying so, even if I have not been able to
imagine what to do about it. Of course, he could not help his
clients, for he could not even help himself.
The above two illustrations are primarily to illustrate that the
man is indeed mechanical, that he is an automaton, completely
controlled by his habit, desire and fear. The given explanations are
brief, incomplete, unsatisfactory and probably confusing. They will
be explored more extensively and in depth later. Still better, the
reader can directly verify and experience his actual state by using
the Two Techniques For Verification, available in part three of the
book. In verifying and experiencing for himself, he will understand
what is written and his actual state far more than any additional
detailed explanations.
Anyway, the next chapter is the result of several studies to
illustrate the above points further.

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5
STUDIES
OF
VISUAL PERCEPTION

Harvard Medical School conducted several studies comparing the


perception of two groups of subjects: one group practiced
mindfulness; the control group did not. The subjects were asked to
watch millisecond flashes of light. The control group was hardly
able to see the flashes or to separate the flashes. The mindfulness
group was able to see the beginning of the flash, its increasing
intensity until it peaked, and its decreasing intensity until it was
gone. That is, the mindfulness group was able to see the entire
movement of the flash from the instant it appeared until it
disappeared, distinctly and continuously, moment to moment.
Inability to See the Flashes
The control subjects were hardly able to see the flashes because
they were preoccupied. It may sound ridiculous, but without
practice, it is virtually impossible to perceive continuously any
object for more than a moment, hardly a few seconds. That is, under
usual circumstances, an average man cannot perceive the nail on his
little finger as it is for more than a moment. He cannot control even
a tiny bit of attention for more than a moment. His attention always
moves at blinding speed from one impression to another, propelled
by an ocean of desired impressions, which swallows up his
attention, leaving him with no free attention.
In fact, his attention moves so blindingly fast that he never
notices any impressions distinctly. He never notices the arising and
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the ending of any impressions; hence, he never notices the content


of any impressions distinctly. He also never notices the movement
of his attention from one impression to another. Further, he cannot
distinguish the sensations evoked by the external stimuli from the
sensations evoked by the inner reactions. Even worse, he very often
cannot distinguish his thoughts from his feelings, his feelings from
his sensations, and even his thoughts from his sensations.
Repeating, the vast majority of impressions are completely
unnoticed.
Reflecting on a ten-day retreat in which he practiced Insight
meditation eighteen hours a day, Roger Walsh writes:
The subtlety, complexity, infinite range and number, and
entrapping power of the fantasies which the mind create
seem impossible to comprehend, to differentiate from
reality while in them, and even more so to describe to one
who has not experienced them. . . . The power and
pervasiveness of these inner dialogues and fantasies left
me amazed that we could be so unaware of them during
our normal waking life. . . .
Inability to Separate the Flashes
The control subjects were hardly able to separate the flashes
because of leftover images of the flashes in their minds, which
shrouded and distorted their seeing. Hence, they saw only a blur,
due to the superimposing of multiple images of the flashes within
their minds. In the same way, a fast moving object taken by a
camera with slow shutter speed will be blurred, due to the superimposing of multiple images of the object on the negative.
Due to this effect, when a child grows older, everything
appears as a blur. A tree is seen as a large blurry green blob; the
individual leaves and their movements are not seen. The sight of
any tree will instantly evoke this image, shrouding him from the
actual tree.
For this reason, although a baby looks at everything with wideeyed wonder, some years later, everything has become mundane,
and he hardly perceives it anymore. Even when he visits a new
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place, he will often say there is nothing to see. Like the tree,
everything else has been reduced into a familiar blur. What then, is
there to see?
Due to immense desire and fear, a childs thoughts of his
mother are even more blurred, a superimposing of innumerable
contradictory and conflicting thought impressions. Further, these
thought impressions instantly evoke his sense and feeling
impressions. The blurriness is due to the blindingly fast movement
of his attention from impression to impression on the innumerable
retained impressions from his past experiences.
This cluster of disordered impressions controls his reactions
toward his mother, causing tension, hesitation, awkwardness,
discomfort, confusion, uncertainty and fear. One moment he
considers his mother a most wonderful person; the next moment he
considers her a most detestable person, and so on. His unpredictable
and contradictory reactions reflect the chaos within him. Because
reactions are the evocation of associated retained impressions, the
childs reactions depend on his present inner conditions, which
depends on his past experiences, and on the present circumstances.
To mention that the man never sees his mother accurately,
including her physical features, may seem absurdly farfetched, an
illustration involving his sense of touch will be more convincing. If
the man with closed eyes touches a snake and a fish, he will receive
similar touch impressions, but even the mere thought that it may be
a snake will evoke an avalanche of sense, feeling and thought
reactions, which will completely submerge the actual touch
impressions. The reactionsprojected onto the touch stimulus
will be wrongly assumed to be the actual touch impressions. Even
more ridiculous, his associated feeling and thought reactions will
also be assumed to come from the touch stimulus, implying that he
has mistaken feelings and thoughts to be sensations.
If the reader, on reading this, then strives to see his mother
accurately, yes, he will see her differently, but it will still be
distorted. In fact, it will be more distorteddistorted by his desire
to see accurately.
The all-knowing man is a mirage, as if he can encompass this
awesome, mysterious, unfathomable world, which includes himself,
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within his thoughts. It is simply the reaction of his immense fear to


look within. This fear, the root cause of the mass of confusion
within him, compels him to keep piling delusion upon delusion in
order to avoid looking within, thus making matters worse. How can
he know anything outside when he does not even know anything
inside him?
Ability to See and Separate the Flashes
In contrast, the mindfulness subjects could anchor their
perception on the flashes moment to moment, without the slightest
break in between. They also could clear the flashes from their minds
as soon as they were seen. Because their minds could clear the
earlier visual image with astounding rapidity, they could register the
new visual image with astounding clarity. Hence, they could
perceive with amazing acuity the ever-changing world as it is.

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PART TWO

OF MAN
Men go forth to wonder at the heights of mountains, the huge waves
of the sea, the broad flow of the rivers, the vast compass of the
ocean, the courses of the stars; and they pass by themselves without
wondering.
St. Augustine

There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky; there is
one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul.
Victor Hugo

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To The Reader
Although the author attempts to use the terms and concepts
precisely, many terms and concepts refer to extremely fluid entities,
which constantly change in direction, size and even attributes.
Further, they often overlap, fuse and blend with one another,
because though differentiatedthey are essentially undifferentiated.
Owing to this, some terms and concepts will not be introduced
fully; they will be expanded and modified later. Nevertheless, the
reader must strive to comprehend the terms and concepts precisely,
but must not cling to them.

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6
DESCRIPTION
OF
A NORMAL MAN

A normal body, four normal centers and a soul constitute a normal


man.
The term body refers to all physical parts including the brain.
In describing man, instinctive movements, such as the beating of the
heart, are not considered; hence, the body is an automaton and has
no inherent energy or life.
The four centers are the moving, sense, feeling and mental
centers; they deal with the four different types of impressions. The
moving center deals with moving or kinesthetic impressions; the
sense center deals with sensations of the five sense organs: hear,
see, touch, taste and smell; the feeling center deals with the feelings
and emotions; and the mental center deals with thoughts, in words
or images or both. Like the body, the four centers have no inherent
energy or life.
The soul of a normal man is whole. It has no particular desire
or aim. It has complete control of the body and the four centers. A
whole soul maintains a harmonious and well-integrated dynamic
equilibrium among the body and the centers, giving the man peace,
joy and well-being. Wholeness and harmony are the chief qualities
of the soul; therefore, it is vulnerable, without any defenses and
never defensive.
Some inherent attributes of the soul are energy, awareness,
intelligence, peace, joy and confidence. These attributes are
completely inseparable: they are one. When one appears, the other
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five also appear together with it and in corresponding degree. Thus,


when energy is increased, awareness, intelligence, peace, joy and
confidence will be increased proportionally. From here onward,
even though the term energy draws the readers attention and makes
a point on the energy attribute, he must remember to include the
other five attributes along with it.
The term energy refers to the degree of potency of awareness,
intelligence, peace, joy and confidence. Awareness moves equally
in all directions and perceives all impressions and stimuli distinctly
and impartially. Intelligence synthesizes the impressions, integrates
the incoming stimuli, and responds through the body in a
harmonious and impeccable manner.

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7
DESCRIPTION
OF
AN ABNORMAL MAN

But, alas, the average man is not normal; he does not even have a
trace of the soul left within him, except on rare occasions. His soul
has fragmented into a legion of selves. All the selves together
constitute the personality. An abnormal body, four abnormal
centers, and a personality constitute an abnormal man.
Each self has a particular desire or aim. Though each self
possesses the attributes of the soul, these attributes are perverted and
much weaker. Each self is a confined fragment of the soul, confined
by its aim. Its aim traps its awareness, turning it into an attention
attention on the aim. Attention is restricted and confined awareness:
it is awareness having a particular aim. Its energy has become force.
Force is restricted and confined energy: it is energy having a
particular aim. Its intelligence has become cleverness: it has become
narrow-minded because it can only access a tiny number of
impressions. Cleverness is restricted and confined intelligence: it is
intelligence having a particular aim.
Conflict Everywhere
When the soul disappears and the personality replaces it,
harmony also disappears. Conflict appears everywhere. Conflict
exists between the selves and external circumstances, between the
selves and the body, among the selves themselves, and even within
the self itself.
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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

The selves are never in harmony among themselves. The chief


priority of each self is to reduce conflict to a minimum, but only on
conflict it suffers. In so doing, even if it causes immense conflict to
other selves or to the creation of a new self, it does not care a jot.
Furthermore, its action usually leads to increased conflict for itself
in the future; again, it does not care a jot because it only takes care
of its suffering of the moment. As a result, its action usually leads to
increased fragmentation and conflict.
Other selves, however, are also always working toward the
same end. All these forces moving along different directions are the
cause of immense conflict in the man. Imagine numerous elastic
bands, attached to him, pulling him in every direction. Each band
represents a self that is struggling to compel him to perform actions
that will minimize its own conflict. Whatever he ends up doing
depends on the direction of the resultant force, the line of least
resistance and the least amount of conflict for him. The resultant
force appears only after chaotic actions and reactions of the bands
have tossed him about for some time, causing confusion, tension,
pain and huge amount of energy loss.
Creation of a New Self and Its Effects
Buddha says that the beginning of karmaaction and reaction,
cause and effectis imponderable; likewise, the beginning of the
first self is also imponderable. Nevertheless, it is possible to
illustrate the appearance of subsequent selves.
A new self is created by the mans effort to satisfy the desire of
an existing active self or selves. Each self strives to compel him to
place himself in external circumstances conducive to its own
comfort and satisfaction. If he is unable to comply, then the
personality is compelled to change in order to adapt to the
uncomfortable circumstances, which often ends in the creation of a
new self.
Once this new self has become strong, it will compel the man
to maintain the circumstances that he found uncomfortable before,
but comfortable nowmade comfortable by the new self. If he is
unable to comply, the process is repeated; consequently, another

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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

new self may be created. The circumstances will in turn continue to


activate the associated self: as within so without, and vice versa.
For example, the cigarette-circumstancesdefined as the
circumstances that create or maintain the cigarette-selfwill
invariably activate the cigarette-selfdefined as the self that desires
to smoke. The cigarette-self will in turn push the man into cigarettecircumstances. If he is unable to comply, then the cigarette-self will
attempt to adapt to new cigarette-circumstances. If it fails, then the
cigarette-forcedefined as the force within the cigarette-selfwill
be displaced into either an existing self or a new self.
IMPOSSIBILITY OF PROLONGED REPRESSION

None of the forces within the personality can be repressed,


suppressed or inhibited for long. They cannot stagnate the way the
pressureforceof the air is stagnated inside a non-permeable
balloon. The dynamics and kaleidoscope of the personality prevent
this from happening. Further, energy is constantly pouring into the
man and instantly converted by the personality into forces. If the
forces can stagnate within him, he will burst like a balloon in a few
days. Therefore, if any force is not directly expended, it will be
displaced or diverted, and expended in another way.
A Detailed Example on the Creation of a New Self
Imagine the man is among a group of smoking friends who
frequently ridicule and taunt him for not smoking. His friend-self
the self that desires friendspulls him to them, but their ridicule
and taunts push him away. The man is in conflict, resulting in
discomfort, awkwardness and tension.
His friend-self will attempt to adapt. If it fails, the man may
avoid his friends and do something elsea displacement of the
friend-force into another self, thus enlarging its size. If, however, he
takes up a new activity, then the friend-force will be displaced into a
newly created self. Nevertheless, he can choose to avoid the conflict
and the fear of alienation by deciding to smoke.
If he does, initially everything in him revolts against it, but if
he persists, then he begins to adapt to it. Each time he smokes, he is
violently thrown off balanced: everything in him including the cells
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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

in his body is shaken, causing discomfort, distress and injury. The


man is again in conflict. To avoid the conflict, discomfort and
frequent sudden upheavals, a cigarette-self appears. It attracts and
binds to itself impressionsmovement, sensation, feeling and
thoughtthat support and maintain its existence.
At first, the elastic bands loosely bind the impressions. But the
more frequently the man smokes, the more he activates the
cigarette-self; hence, the more he channels force into it, and the
tighter he binds the impressions together. As a result, the bands
become more strong and rigid. The body adapts to the frequent
absorption of nicotine through biochemical and bioelectrical
changes into a new, but distorted and weaker equilibriumless
sensitive, less responsive and less resilient but more reactive. The
automatic reaction of the muscular system to conflict is to contract,
to stiffen.
When the bands have become rigid, thus tightly binding the
supporting impressions together, the body has adapted to the new
equilibrium and the associated muscles have become permanently
stiffthe man has become habituated to cigarette smoking. He has
acquired a smoking habit, a permanent cigarette-self.
Multiple Uses of the New Self
When part of the friend-force is regularly displaced into the
cigarette-self, thereby creating a strong band between the friend-self
and the cigarette-self, these two selves may behave as if they are
one. When one is active, the other will be active, too. The active self
will invariably activate the other. Then the man begins to have
impressions such as cigarettes are like friends and like friends,
cigarettes are wonderful companions, an effective antidote against
loneliness and boredom. Hence, if he cannot be with his friends, he
will often smoke more cigarettes because more of the friend-force
has moved into the cigarette-self.
Now that the man has succeeded in eliminating conflict with
his friends, he will tend to use the cigarette-self to avoid other
conflicts as well. For instance, if he cannot sleep, he may smoke to
help him sleep. If he cannot stay awake, he may smoke to help him
stay awake. Likewise, he smokes to help him think and smokes to
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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

help him quiet his thoughtsbut he never notices the contradictions


of his reasoning.
Nevertheless, though his reasoning may be faulty, in some
cases, it really helps for a moment, thereby encouraging him to
smoke more. In some other cases, it makes matters worse, but he
does not notice these adverse cases; even if he does, he always
justifies it. The personality only notices what it likes to notice and
never notices what it dislikes to notice. Therefore, it does not notice
that in both cases the overall effects are always detrimental. If it
does, then it will be in conflictto be avoided at all costs.
Conflict Created by the New Self
All is seemingly well again. The man, however, has created a
new self. The cigarette-self is an enemy to all the other selves that
are set against it; therefore, additional conflicts are created. If the
anticigarette-self decides to stop smoking, then war erupts; the
impressions of the two selves clash. Conflict appears again.
The body now needs nicotine to stay in its new equilibrium. If
the abstinence is prolonged, everything in the body starts to
rearrange in accordance to the newer change. Moreover, the
cigarette-self that was laboriously created and bound by supporting
impressions into a stable equilibrium is also disturbed; therefore, it
will strive with all its might to remove this conflict. If it cannot get
its way with sound reasons and truthyes, it will be reasonable and
truthful at first, for truth is an intrinsic quality of the soul before the
self perverted itthen it will deny, distort, exaggerate and lie to get
its way. Its attention is always on where it can get its supply, where
and when it can smoke. If its aim is continually frustrated, then it
simply goes into a frenzy until it gets its dose of nicotine.
Three Possible Results of the Conflict
Imagine the man is pulled by two elastic bands: one is the
cigarette-self; the other is the anticigarette-self.
First case, the cigarette-self is stronger and gets to smoke.
Hence, the cigarette-force is used to neutralize the adverse effects of
the nicotine on the body. For example, the heart instinctively beats

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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

faster to remove the nicotine and to compensate for less oxygen in


the blood.
Second case, the cigarette-self is weaker; therefore, the
cigarette-force is displaced into the anticigarette-self. The displaced
force may be used to condemn and criticize everybody and
everything connected to smoking. The more the anticigarette-self
fears smoking, the more vehemently the man condemns and
criticizes. He hates most that which he fears most.
Third case, both selves are of about equal strength, then where
and how the forces will be displaced and expended is unpredictable.
They may be used up through tensing of the muscles, kicking
against the wall, or banging his head; through overeating, watching
television, or reading; through exercise, charitable work, or
worshiping Godthey definitely must be used up somehow. Of
course, when the displacement is frequently repeated, it eventually
becomes predictable and habitual.
If the man had given up smoking through displacement, the
cigarette-self will remain as strong as ever even if he had not
smoked for two decades. Hence, even if a smoker is imprisoned in a
non-smoking prison for two decades, he will often begin to smoke
again shortly after his release.
An Illustration of Displacement
Deepak Chopra writes of a friend who was seized by an almost
irresistible desire to smoke even after having abstained for fifteen
years. His friend said, You see, when I was a teenager in Bogot,
we used to smoke in the lobby between movies. All I did was step
back into that scene, and the urge to smoke came back in a flash. I
found myself in front of the cigarette machine fumbling for change,
and only by clutching myself inside and repeating, This is crazy,
youre a cardiologist, was I able to resist. Even then, he was
compelled to run away from the theater.
Chopras friend had not learned to displace the cigarette-force
in that particular cigarette-circumstance. In other cigarettecircumstances, the same amount of force is still regularly flowing
into the cigarette-self, which has become a conduit for the force to
flow into another self. Hence, his cigarette-self is still as strong as
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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

ever. His fifteen years of abstinence caused him to be caught with


his pants down, so he reacted with panic.
Where the force is displaced depends on the circumstances of
that particular moment. The cigarette-force can therefore be
displaced to many selvesone self at a particular time and
circumstances, a different self at another time and circumstances. In
addition, new selves may be created to receive the force.
If the man has displaced the cigarette-force into the food-self
and then abstains from overeating, the food-force may move into the
cigarette-self, that is, the force may reverse its direction. Then he
will think of smoking, but it can just as easily be displaced into a
different self.
Self as Conduit
Because many desires cannot be expended immediately, that is,
directly satisfied, they are displaced; hence, the selves often act as
conduits for the various forces. By the way, when no force moves
into or through any particular self, it then becomes inactive,
dormantbut it does not disappear.
No Escape
What will happen if the man avoids all cigarettecircumstances? Even if he manages to avoid all cigarettecircumstances, the cigarette-self will still be as strong as ever
because he must think of the cigarette-circumstances to avoid them.
This attention alone will activate the cigarette-self. In a way, his
attempts to avoid cigarette-circumstances are really attempts to
displace the cigarette-force into other activities. What will happen if
he attempts to abstain by constantly thinking about the harmfulness
of smoking? If he does, then he is constantly activating both the
anticigarette-self and the cigarette-self.
In short, the man cannot smoke. He cannot desire to smoke; he
cannot be afraid to smoke; he cannot replace smoking with another
activity; he cannot avoid the cigarette-circumstancesnone of these
activities can neutralize the cigarette-self. Further, he cannot even
think about smoking in any way; he also cannot try not to think

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about smoking because then he will be thinking about it. Of course,


he is in a terrible bind.
Consequences of Escape Attempts
Jesus speaks of the unclean spirit [that] goes out of the man, it
passes through waterless places, seeking rest, and does not find, so
it returns to find his place unoccupied. Then it goes, and takes
along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go
in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than
the first.
Interpretationthe unclean spirit is the force that goes out of
the cigarette-self, but not used up; hence, it returns to the cigaretteself and moves into seven other more harmful selves.
When the man finds that smoking causes more overall conflict
and tension, he strives to stop, but refuses to face the pain of
abstinence. Even if he is willing to face it, he probably does not
know how to abstain without causing any adverse side-effects.
So he strives to avoid evoking the cigarette-impressions
defined as impressions that belong to the cigarette-selfby staying
away from cigarette-circumstances, by evoking the anticigaretteimpressions, and by diverting his attention and thoughts to other
activities. These attempts to escape from cigarette-impressions often
make matters worse. In severe cases, he ends up smoking more than
usual, viciously condemning and criticizing everybody and
everything connected to smoking, and indulging in several
additional destructive activities.
No Other Pleasure
Pleasure is the expending of force. There is no other pleasure.
The entire attention of an abnormal man is fixated on pleasure,
physical and psychological. Hence, he spends all his life striving to
accumulate various forces in order to expend them through endless
rounds of insignificant and momentary aims. The more desires, the
more aims; the more aims, the more selves; the more selves, the
more pleasures and pains. Further, the intensity of the pleasure and
pain corresponds to the intensity of the desire.

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For examplesex. Because pleasure is the expending and


releasing of force, the longer the force is being released, the longer
the pleasure; the more forcible the force is being released, the more
intense the pleasure. So the man strives to put himself in more
intense sex-circumstances and strives to intensify his sexual
imagination in order to induce more force to flow into the sex-self.
He also strives to withhold the release to prolong and intensify the
pleasure.
As a result, he experiences impressions of deprivation,
frustration and tension, followed by pleasure, ending in satiation and
weariness, back and forth, endlessly. Is it possible to list all the
methods used to achieve this aim? Meanwhile, the sex-self becomes
more distorted and perverted, filled with distorted and perverted
sex-impressions.

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8
FURTHER DESCRIPTION
OF
AN ABNORMAL MAN

Attributes of a Self and Its Impressions


The attributes of a selfattention, force, and clevernessare
inseparable: they are one. The particular aim of each self determines
the aim of these attributes. Actually, each impression within a self is
created from these attributes; after all, a self is simply a bundle of
impressions. Hence, attention, force and cleverness and therefore
their specific impression are inseparable.
Because an attention is an impression, attention therefore
notices its impression; or rather, the impression notices itself. Each
specific impression only notices itself; it cannot notice other
impressions. The aim of a self is the resultant aim of its impressions.
The force of a self is the resultant force of its impressions.
Self Is Clever, Attention Is Clever
An example, when the man reads a book, depending on the
subject he is reading, the associated self is activated. The self, or its
attention, on its own accord, will integrate the incoming stimuli into
itself, but it always integrates the stimuli in accordance to its aim. If
it dislikes what it reads, then it will simply deny, ignore, or distort
the incoming stimuli to suit itself. If it likes what it reads, then it
will cling to and exaggerate the incoming stimuli.

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Connection between Impressions


The connections, that is, the elastic bands, are actually the
feeling impressions. These bands connect the other three types of
impressionsmovement, sense and thoughtto form a self. A
desire is a cluster of connecting, similar impressions; it often
consists of all the four types of impressions.
The elastic bands also connect the selves to one another.
Similar experiences and impressions play a significant role in the
manner they are connected. A thought impression in one self is
likely to be connected to a similar thought impression in another
self. The same is also true for the other types of impressions; thus,
one active self may activate another self.
Variety of Forces
Treating the self or impression as forcedesire is pulling
force, pulling the desirable object toward the man. Aversion or fear
is pushing force, pushing away the fearful object. To desire an
object is to fear the absence of it; the strength of a desire is equal to
the strength of its associated fear; one cannot exist without the
other. Both desire and fear attract attention.
The desire for an object attracts the attention to the desirable
object to pull it toward the man, but if he is afraid of failure and its
consequences, then he will both reach out and pull back
simultaneouslyconflict. The fear of an object attracts the attention
to the fearful object to push it away; hence, the man desires to notice
the object he is afraid to noticeconflict.
If an object evokes a great desire, the man is lost in desirable
feeling and thought impressions. That is, he is swarmed with
intrusive and obsessive desirable feeling and thought impressions.
Similarly, if an object evokes a great fear, he is lost in fearful
feeling and thought impressions. That is, he is swarmed with
intrusive and obsessive fearful feeling and thought impressions.
These impressions are powerful and unbearable forces. In either
case, they forcibly compel him to expend them, often in drastic
action, with drastic consequences.
Out of various desires and fears, out of various pulling and
pushing forces, arise all other forces. Anger or hatred is force
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moving toward destruction. Frustration or irritation is the dispersion


of force upon hitting a barrier. Depression is the pressing down of
force into the body. Impatience is force pushing the body to move
faster toward the desirable object.
Because the various pulling and pushing forces move in
different directions, conflict dogs the life of the abnormal man from
birth till death, producing tension, stress, distress, pain, discomfort,
awkwardness, hesitation, doubt, uncertainty, confusion, impatience,
irritation, frustration, anger, hatred, resentment, bitterness, anxiety,
fear, guilt, shame, jealousy, self-pity, grief, sorrow, suspicion,
depression, despair, apathy, sadness, lust, pleasure, pride, smugness
and so on, ad infinitum.
Opposite Forces within a Self
Because desire and fear are inseparable, they also exist within
each self. For example, when the safety-self is active, the man will
notice impressions of safety: having adequate food, clothing and
shelter; living in a safe environment; living among caring people.
But these impressions will inevitably evoke opposite impressions.
The stronger he clings to the safe impressions, the stronger the
dangerous impressions will assail him. These dangerous
impressions may then push him into dangerous situations instead. In
fact, a gigantic safety-self often pulls the man into a safe situation
one moment, but pushes him into a dangerous situation the next
moment, back and forth.
The desire to satisfy opposite impressions inevitably leads to
absurdity, yet it can also lead to ingenuity. For instance, if the man
desires to indulge in both pride and humility, then he may say
proudly, I am more humble than you. Or the more strongly he
cares about something, the more vehemently he says he does not
care. Or the more strongly something matters to him, the more
vehemently he says it does not matter. If he does not care or it does
not matter, then why does he say it at all? So he keeps on saying it
and keeps on saying he does not want to say it. Who could fathom
the absurdity and ingenuity of his unending indulgence in both selfimportance and self-pity, or in both self-importance and anger?

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There is no need to watch any movies; tragicomedies are everywhere, and they evoke anguish and laughter far more intensely.
Character of a Self
A self is created by the personalitys reaction to external
influences. Its strength and size depend on the degree and number of
exposures to similar external influences. It does not mean that if two
people are exposed to exactly the same influences, they will have
the same character and behavior, that is, same group of selves.
Heredity and past lives play an important role. The character of a
self depends on how the personality experiences and interprets the
influences.
Persistency of a Self
The persistency, the permanency, of a self depends on the
degree of difficulty to create and adapt to it. The more difficult it is
to create it, the more persistent it is; thus, a cigarette-self is more
persistent than an apple-self. The natural corollary: the more
harmful is the self, the more persistent it is because more difficult
and painful changes are required to adapt to it. Hence, it is more
difficult and painful to reverse the severe changes, to neutralize it.
Two Selves as One
If the man always smokes whenever he drinks coffee, the
cigarette-self and coffee-self will behave as if they are one. But if he
is in a situation in which he can either smoke or drink coffee only,
then the two selves instantly become enemies although they may
have been inseparable friends for decades. Either choice, he will feel
deprived and frustrated.
Overflow Force from a Self
Sometimes a self can be activated if an unusually large force
enters another self even though they are not connected with each
other. For instance, if the man suddenly discovers that he had lost a
fortune, this instantly triggers an unusually large inflow of force into
the money-self, part of the force will be displaced to other selves. If
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TRANSFORMING CONFLICT INTO HARMONY

the cigarette-self is one of them, then the man may smoke even
though he is in circumstances in which he had never smoked before.
If he chooses to smoke, then the conflict within the personality is
slightly reduced for a moment.
Small Self within the Big
A self can have many smaller selves within it. For example, a
people-self can contain many smaller race-selves. A people-self has
impressions such as All people are _______. A Chinese-self has
impressions such as All Chinese are _______. If the man meets a
stranger, the people-self instantly becomes active to handle the
situation. If he discovers that the stranger is a Chinese, then his
Chinese-self takes over the situation, nothing to it.
Self in Action
It becomes intriguing when the man interacts with people he
knows. For example, if he meets John, his John-self becomes active;
he behaves in a certain way. Maybe whenever he meets John, he
indulges in self-pity. Yet if he meets Adam the moment after
leaving John, he may start boasting, for that is how his Adam-self
usually acts. How will he behave if he meets John and Adam
together for the first time?
Even more intriguing, the man may be agreeable with John, but
if Janet joins them, then he may start attacking John. Yet when Janet
leaves them, he may quickly become agreeable again, leaving John
perplexed and upset. In any case, he does not notice anything
unusual. The changes are smooth as grease: all in the name of taking
the line of least resistance, least conflict and maximum comfort.
Legion of Is
Each self, each impression, refers to itself as I. In the course of
a day, hundreds of selves and innumerable impressions are
successively activated. Each of them refers to itself as I, though they
are different Is and many of these Is contradict one another. Yet
the man assumes that he has only one I, that his momentary active I
refers to his whole being.
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An example, if his wife happens to satisfy the desire of his


active self of the moment, his I responds, My angel, how can I live
without you? If another self becomes active the next moment and
is prevented from satisfaction by his wife, then his I responds, You
devil, I wish you were dead, completely forgetting his earlier
reaction because they are different Is.
These contradictory behavior and voracious tendency to forget
become obvious if the man seriously attempts to kick any of his
habits. Idries Shah says, Assume that you are part hypocrite and
part heedless, and you will not be far wrong.
Divided House
All the impressions within the personality are mechanical and
unconscious reactions, caused by desire and fear. Hence, they are all
desire/fear reactions; they are all abnormal impressions. The
personality has no control over these impressions because the
personality is a divided housedivided into a legion of conflicting
selves. Further, each self is divided into a legion of conflicting
impressions.
As Within So Without
An analogyimagine that an impression represents a man, that
all the impressions within a self represent all the men in a country,
and that all the impressions within the personality represent all the
men in the world, then the conflict within the personality is similar
to the conflict in the world. Regardless of what happens, planet
earth always ends up the loser. Likewise, the body always ends up
the loser. Apart from innumerable bodily problems caused by this
conflict, an abnormal body is brimful of permanently tense and stiff
muscles.

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9
LIFE
OF
AN ABNORMAL MAN

When the man is young, his attention is predominantly on his


desires, on the impressions of his desires. What he does not have, he
is confident of getting; what he has, he is confident of keeping. He
is an optimist, a spendthriftfull of pride, self-importance, forces,
desires and aims. He is an active doer. His only complaint is lack of
time. All his forces and time are used to satisfy his desires or
expended into activities that will lead to the satisfaction of his
desires.
As the man grows older, he finds it increasingly difficult to
satisfy his desires or to take up activities that will lead to the
satisfaction of his desires. Consequently, he becomes increasingly
reluctant to continue as before and begins to slow down. The forces
begin to be trapped within the selves for a longer time; thus, he
begins to notice their impressions. The longer the forces are trapped,
the more forcible they become because energy is continually
flowing into the personality; therefore, he begins to notice more
strong and exaggerated impressions. Previously he hardly noticed
these impressions because the forces were quickly displaced and
expended through activities. Now the forces begin to be expended
through the activation of these impressions.
Slowly the forces begin to move from impressions of desire to
impressions of fearfear of non-satisfaction. Fear is actually
negative desire, that is, the desire to avoid. His attention begins to
move to not-having and to losing what he already has, which
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eventually becomes predominant. He becomes a pessimist, a


miserfull of worry, self-pity, suspicion, resentment and anxiety.
He becomes a passive, non-doer. His complaint nowtime hangs
heavy. He begins to find external circumstances undesirable and to
find faults with them. He begins to find pleasure indulging in
unpleasant and fearful imaginations, endless complaints and
blamethe few pleasures still within his ability to satisfy, to expend
his forces.
In Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda, Don Juan succinctly
captures his condition:
Men for whom an entire life was like one Sunday
afternoon, an afternoon which was not altogether
miserable, but rather hot and dull and uncomfortable.
They sweated and fussed a great deal. They didnt know
where to go, or what to do. That afternoon left them only
with the memory of petty annoyances and tedium, and
then suddenly it was over; it was already night.
As he grows still older, his forces dwindle, his defenses
weaken, so he may, on occasions, dimly see through the cracks to
the place where he truly belongs, evoking a gripping anguish and an
amorphous aching longing for he knows not what, and despair at
missing it. What a way to live and die.

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10
NORMAL MAN
VERSUS
ABNORMAL MAN

A normal man does not react; hence, he has no abnormal


impressions. His normal impressions can be regarded as formless
impressionsformless to an abnormal man. These formless
impressions are sustained by energy, not force. They are abstract
and synthetic. In contrast, abnormal impressions can be regarded as
non-formless impressions. They are concrete and fragmentary.
A normal man has a normal body, a body without permanently
tense muscles. A normal man perceives the world as it is. Hence, he
perceives and experiences the world in a way that is
incomprehensible to the abnormal man.
Ability of a Normal Man
A normal man can perceive everything within his range of
vision clearly, simultaneously and continuously. If a tree is within
his range of vision, then the shape, color and movement of every
leaf are perceived clearly, simultaneously and continuously. This
ability also applies to the other senses as well.
He also perceives all his bodily movements down to his little
toes clearly, simultaneously and continuously. His feelingspeace,
joy and confidenceare contrary to the feelings of the abnormal
man. They do not disturb his body, movements, senses or thoughts
in any way. When he thinks of a subject, he thinks the same way he
sees, as a harmonious whole. He perceives all his thoughts clearly,
simultaneously and continuously; hence, no movement of thoughts
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is needed. Further, he can contact the soul realm, the realm of


creativity.
Brainwaves of a Normal Man
In short, his awareness encompasses everything he perceives
and experiences; hence, no movement of impressions is needed. His
brainwaves reflect his ability. A normal man has plenty of beta,
alpha and theta brainwaves. These brainwaves are coherent and
synchronized; moreover, brainwaves on the left-brain are symmetrical to the brainwaves on the right-brain. When these brainwaves
are seen on a full-spectrum EEG (electroencephalograph) machine,
they appear stationary. This brainwave pattern is known as the
awakened mind.
Brainwaves of an Abnormal Man
In his daily activities, an abnormal man has little alpha and
hardly any theta brainwaves, but he has plenty of splayed and
chaotic beta brainwaves. His beta brainwaves constantly change in
frequency and amplitude. They are not coherent, synchronized or
symmetrical. Hence, they are constantly in conflict.
In his quiet moments, when his movement and sense
impressions are decreased, when his alpha brainwaves are increased,
he may notice his feeling and thought impressions. But without
theta brainwaves, he cannot perceive any impressions or the world
as it is. He has some theta brainwaves for a fleeting moment just
before he falls asleep, but then he is already too drowsy to perceive
anything.
Qualities of an Awakened Mind
For additional information about brainwaves and awakened
mind, please refer to The High-Performance Mind by Anna Wise. In
Mega Brain Power, Michael Hutchison writes quite extensively
about researches done on brainwaves. According to these
researches, the awakened mind is responsible for warmth,
conscientiousness, stability, boldness, self-control, imaginativeness,
abstract thinking, creative insight, intuition, peak performance,
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integrative experience, learning, healing, vivid remembering of


deeply buried childhood memories, and so on.
But what do the above words convey to the man? If they
merely evoke a series of associated reactions, each man
understanding them in his own way, they are quite useless. When
the man claims to understand something, it implies that that
something has evoked familiar and associated impressions. Hence,
if he learns to doubt and allow himself to be confused, he is better
off because he is then allowing the new and unfamiliar to enter. Of
course, the familiar evokes pleasure, but the unfamiliar evokes
conflict and tension.
These qualities are quoted primarily to lend credence to what is
written earlier. If it is impossible to describe a chair precisely and
accurately, how is it possible to describe this state precisely and
accurately? Yet attempts must be made to allow the man to use
these descriptions as pointers, signposts and maps.
In any case, this book primarily aims at providing a working
concept of the personality and on how to neutralize it. If the man
can free a small fraction of his attention for ten seconds a few times
a day, it will be enough to convince him of the existence of a state
of being that is different in kind. But for a small soul to appear for
ten seconds a few times a day requires a long and difficult struggle.
Ordinarily, he only experiences a few flashes and in a small
degree of the normal state in his entire life. Even then, he finds these
flashes very strange, unusually vivid and substantial. So vivid and
substantial that he can still remember these flashes clearly even
decades later. But his other past experiences, regardless of how
seemingly intense and significant they were at the time they
happened, quickly faded into nothingness, as fickle as the
impressions.
PLEASE TAKE NOTE

From here onward, unless otherwise stated, the term


impressions refer to non-formless impressions, that is, reactions.
And the term man refers to an abnormal man. Further, please note
the use of these words: notice, perceive, conscious, observe.
Attention notices its impression, that is, it sees its impression
from inside. But awareness perceives the impressions, that is, it sees
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the impressions from outside. The presence of awareness denotes


the presence of a perceiver. When awareness perceives the
impressions, it is conscious of the impressions; thus, perception is
consciousness.
Because formless impressions are awareness, so awareness
actually notices formless impressions. Nonetheless, to avoid confusion, to simplify matters, awareness always perceives and
attention always notices.
Still, matters become more complicated when the man is part
personality and part soul. Then he notices and perceives
simultaneously, but initially this ability appears intermittently and
briefly. Simplifying matters further, when he observes, it means he
notices and perceives simultaneously, or he just notices.
Nonetheless, even with these simplifications, at times it is still
difficult to choose the appropriate word. Partly because the
abnormal man can also perceive, but his perception is so little, so
vague, and so corrupted by impressions that it is more accurate to
say he cannot perceive at all. That is, external circumstances and
stimuli are hidden from him, accessible only by the normal man,
accessible only by awareness, not attention.
In fact, conflict is due to his stubborn assumption that he can
perceive external circumstances and stimuli as they are, so he is in
conflict with everybody and everything because everybody and
everything is not what he assumes. Also, he is in conflict with
himself because he himself is not what he assumes. His assumption
is simply based on his desire/fear reactions, his impressions.
Owing to this, the first and foremost condition to tread the way
is the struggle to put aside all his impressions, beginning with a
clean slate, like a newborn baby. It does not imply that all his
impressions are useless, harmful, or false. If they were, he would
have already destroyed himself in no time. Many are useful,
beneficial and true, but he certainly cannot distinguish most of them
correctly; otherwise, he will not be immersed in so much conflict.
When he can perceive later, then he will be able make use of these
impressions far more effectively than before.

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11
ARE
ALL SELVES HARMFUL?

Is the health-, exercise-, charity- or god-self also harmful? Does its


appearance cause more conflict in the long term? If it gets stronger,
does the conflict also increase in intensity? Are impressions
unnecessarily, uselessly, or harmfully being stirred up? Affirmative
answers to these questions imply the man is better off without it.
Health-Self
In a study in Finland, cardiac researchers selected twelve
hundred business executives suspected of increased probability to
incur heart attack due to their symptoms: obesity, high blood
pressure, high cholesterol level and smoking above ten cigarettes a
day. In a five-year program, all participants were required to have
regular checkups. Half of the participants made up the control
group, that is, they were not required to make any changes to their
lives. The other half were placed on an intensive controlled diet:
more polyunsaturated fat, fish and chicken instead of red meat;
vegetables; no smoking and less alcohol. The diet group was also
supplied with detailed information on their potential risks.
At the end of the program five years later, the researchers were
extremely surprised with their findings. The diet group incurred a
much higher death rate and twice as many deaths from heart attack
than the control group. Furthermore, fifteen years later, the diet
group incurred thirty-four cardiac deaths while the control group
only incurred fourteen cardiac deaths. In short, the adverse effects
did not disappear even ten years after the study.
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There is nothing odd or surprising about the results of the


study. The diet group was subjected to various intense inner
conflicts for many years, evoking tension, stress, distress, guilt,
remorse, regret, self-pity, self-hatred, self-disgust, anger, frustration,
anxiety, fear, deprivation, emptiness, confusion, uncertainty and so
on. Indecision, which could last for a long time, compounded these
conflicts because it prevented the body and personality to become
stable.
These conflicts caused immense chaotic biochemical and
bioelectrical changes to the body. By itself, the body could adapt to
the changes in diet and would definitely benefit from the new diet.
But it could not adapt to the constant chaotic expenditure of
conflicting forces into it by the personality. Perhaps the most
damning harm was the detailed information on potential risks; it
turned the diet group into hypochondriacs. They probably became
obsessed with it. Instead of removing one unclean spirit, they ended
up with seven other spirits more wicked than itself.
Exercise-Self
One fine day, the man may come across a Marilyn Monroe
look-alike jogging by, inspiring the exercise-self to take up regular
jogging. The sight of the jogging woman results in more force
flowing into the exercise-self. There is, however, no force allotted
by the exercise-self for jogging, no jogging-selfmaybe even no
exercise-self. Further, the sight or memory of the woman only
attracts enough force to jog for only a minute, so there is great
reluctance and resistance to jog. If he wishes to jog and to jog
longer, more force must be displaced into the jogging-self.
How does he manage it? He forces himself to jog, frequently
berating and beating himself up for desiring to stop. Hence, he knits
his brows, clenches his jaws, stiffens his neck and tenses up many
other muscles that have nothing to do with jogging. All these
activities are the reactions of the struggle to displace more force into
the jogging-self. These activities expend the conflicting forces
between the desire to jog and the desire to stop, or between the
desire to jog and the fear of jogging. If these activities are regularly
repeated, they will be habituated and will not be noticed anymore. A
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jogging-self appears. The jogging takes up only a small fraction of


the jogging-force, that is, the displaced force; the rest is expended in
unnecessary and harmful tension. Whats more, in this particular
case, jogging may even sexually arouse him.
Now, if circumstances prevent him from jogging during his
jogging hour, the jogging-force will shake up the joggingimpressions and associated impressions, namely those associated to
the unnecessary tension. Therefore, he will become frustrated and
irritated; he may even be unusually sexually aroused.
By the way, what will happen if the fear of jogging is greater
than the desire to jog? Then he stops jogging and indulges in selfdisgust and regret. What will happen if the fear of jogging is equal
to the desire to jog? Who can tell?
Pursuing the subject furthernow the reader is reading this
book, an activity that requires only a minimal amount of energy. But
he has struggled hard for a long time to acquire this reading skill. As
a child until even now, he was and is often compelled to read.
Further, each time he is distracted, that is, each time another self
actively opposes his reading, he has to struggle to overcome it. Just
imagine the amount of conflicting forces he has habitually expended
into the body. Moreover, he is now reading inflammatory material;
fortunately, the author is nowhere in sight! Anyway, why be
offended and irritated by mere words?
Charity-Self
Can the man help another when he is unable to help himself,
when he does not know how to help himself, and when he does not
even know how not to increase his own suffering? Referring to the
cardiac researchers mentioned earlier, these people have spent
decades in their area of expertise, yet the participants who adhered
to their intensive five-year program suffered more and died earlier
than the control group.
The mans charitable acts are simply the expending of conflicting forces, which usually are impressions of discomfort, guilt,
vanity, often followed by criticism, resentment, and bitterness. As
long as there are impressions within him that hurt him, that compel
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him to commit self-destructive actions, he will continue to hurt


others, no matter how much he may pretend and protest to be
otherwise. How can he be true to others when he cannot even be
true to himself?
Similarly, the moment he is kind and caring toward himself, he
will naturally be kind and caring toward others, without any
affectation, on the quiet. Hence, he will truly benefit other people
and particularly himself if he spends the next ten years removing the
brimful of venom within him. If he did, then he will truly be able to
help another. If he manages to transform the personality into soul,
even if he does not lift a finger or say a word, his presence alone
will be beneficial to other people. After all, his state of being and
behavior are closely connected to other peoples. (The preceding
two statements will be looked at from another angle later.)
God-Self
The god-self is created by the desire to attain heaven and fear
of hell. It contains impressions such as god is love and god is
omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. When it is active, the
man may vehemently assert that his god is love, omnipotent,
omnipresent and omniscient. Yet he may just as vehemently behave
in a diametrically opposite manner.
He may hate, torture and kill on behalf of his god of love. To
deride his god is to offend him, and he may instantly rise up to
defend his godan insignificant bug defending an omnipotent god.
His god is omnipresent, yet he may declare some places, objects and
people holy and some others unholy. His god is omniscient, yet he
may attempt to drown his god with an unceasing stream of loud,
tedious, whining requests, even telling his god what to do, when to
do and how to do.
Actually, he has simply transferred various conflicting forces
from other selves into the god-self. Now he can freely expend these
forces and spew out his venom with blessings from godhow
convenient! It is indeed difficult to comprehend the dastardly
cleverness of a high-sounding self. In general, the more highsounding its name, the more dastard it is.

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Just imagine the insidiousness and subtlety of a god-self. How


is it possible for people who read the same scripture, say, the Bible,
but understand it in numerous different ways, spawning numerous
different denominations and sects, leading to the smashing of one
anothers heads over it? It is owing to the irresistible propensity to
ignore, deny, distort and exaggerate in order to avoid the specific
conflict and tension of the moment.

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12
OUTER LAYER
OF
IMPRESSIONS

Looking at the creation of a cigarette-self from another angle


faced with the pain of either alienation or smoking, the man chooses
to smoke. In so doing, a certain amount of force is displaced to the
cigarette-self, and the personality changes into a new equilibrium.
As time passes, the new equilibrium becomes stable.
The cigarette-force is available to handle the adverse effects of
smoking. Hence, the man does not experience the pain of smoking
anymore, but it does not disappear. Instead, it is diffused throughout
the personality. Active, specific, sharp and distinct pain has turned
into passive, general, muted and amorphous pain. Active conflict
and tension have become passive. The ceaseless attempts to avoid
active conflict and tension have resulted in the transference of
conflicting forces into other selves until the personality has become
far more perplexing than the Gordian knot. A significant part of
these conflicting forces is expended into the body. Hence, every part
of the body, including the brain cells, is in conflict.
Features of Outer Impressions
This overall mass of perplexing, passive conflict gives birth to
an outer layer of impressions, which encloses all the selves. These
are impressions of helplessness, no control, no escape, impotency,
nothingness, insignificance, emptiness, loneliness, separateness,
incompleteness, unworthiness, meaninglessness and aimlessness.
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No matter how the selves twist and turn, they cannot avoid or
remove the pain of conflict, resulting in impressions of helplessness,
no control, no escape and impotency. Lost among thousands of
other selves, each self inevitably notices impressions of its
nothingness, insignificance, and emptiness. Because each self is a
confined tiny fragment of the soul, it notices impressions of its
loneliness, separateness and incompleteness. Perennially obsessed
with its one and only petty aim, it notices impressions of
unworthiness, meaninglessness and aimlessness.
Further, these outer impressions evoke immense additional
impressions of shame, guilt, anguish, self-pity, self-disgust and selfhatred.
Defense against the Outer Impressions
Initially each self attempts to protect itself from its immense
fear of the outer impressions by tightening and thickening its
impressions around itself, that is, by vehemently emphasizing and
exaggerating its importance and indispensability. These additional
conflicts among the selves invariably thicken the outer impressions
furthera vicious loop. Nonetheless, these additional conflicts also
weaken and loosen the binding of the impressions around each self
occasionally; hence, it is compelled to notice the outer impressions.
To avoid this from happening, eventually the selves
compromise with one another. They counterbalance and interconnect with one another to form a stable and rigid equilibrium.
That is, the man attempts to avoid creating conflict among the
selves by following rigidly to a routine and familiar way of life,
having fixed opinions and beliefs. As a result, the impressions of
each self tightened rigidly around itself; the interconnections among
the selves are also tightened rigidly.
Because which group of selves becomes active depends on
external circumstances and the man is leading a fixed way of life,
hence which group of selves becomes active also follows a fixed
pattern. Reacting to external circumstances, the associated group is
activated. It becomes dormant again when its forces are expended;
as this group weakens, another group is gradually activated. The ebb
and flow of the groups of forces changes like clockworkregular,
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precise and even. Further, the conflicting forces within the active
group of selves have resolved into one resultant force; hence, the
active group has compromised and resolved into only one active
self.
But external circumstances are never the same, so he defends
himself by stubbornly denying, avoiding and shutting out all
unfamiliar impressions, that is, the tight connections of the existing
impressions wall off his observation. Because most of the available
force is continuously expended and lost in permanent, passive
tension, he has only a tiny amount of observation, which is
completely lost in whatever he is doing at the momenttotal
absorption. Hence, he is indifferent to everything else because he
observes nothing else.
The man has become more secure than the gold bullion in Fort
Knox. But he sinks into malaise, depression, boredom and anxiety.
His rigidity and defensiveness appear everywhere. The price for his
security isdeath before his death. He may sink into a state of sloth
and inactivity. On the other hand, he may work for sixteen hours a
day, seven days a week. In this case, less force is expended into the
body, but expended through the body. Nonetheless, in either case,
he is in a state of inertiadefined as the tendency of a body to
remain at rest if at rest, or, if moving, to keep moving in the same
direction unless affected by some outside force.
Summarizing, if there is a change in circumstances, particularly
a traumatic change, then the conflict within the personality exposes
the existing selves to the outer impressions, thus evoking fear and
anxiety. Initially each self will struggle to maintain its usual state.
Because the new circumstances prevent many selves from doing so,
initially the conflict within the personality will be increased by the
struggle, thus increasing the exposure to the outer impressions.
Eventually, they compel themselves to compromise with one
another to allow the personality to become stable again.
Increased conflict is due to the mans rebellion against the new
circumstances. If he does not rebel, but only struggles to adapt, then
the conflict is reduced to a minimum. Nonetheless, the mechanical
tendency to rebel before reluctantly resigning himself is quite
irresistible.

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An example, if the man suffers a significant loss in fortune,


then he is unable to continue some of his accustomed activities,
evoking general impressions of helplessness. Further, his reluctance
to drop these activities often intensifies and prolongs these
impressions. Eventually, he compromises and resigns himself to his
new circumstances, enabling him to stabilize his new way of life.

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13
GIGANTIC
SELVES

Gigantic Money-Self
Leaving out the fact that the man will inevitably get weaker with
age, what will happen if, due to luck or hard work, he is able to
satisfy his various desires? For example, if he has a gigantic moneyself because he presumes that money is everything and can solve all
his problemsand he suddenly comes upon a fortune. The
immediate reaction will be fright, with all the symptoms of fear,
such as rapid heartbeats, cold hands and feet. If he has a weak heart,
he may even die of a heart attack. Later, when his attention turns to
his newly-acquired fortune, he is filled with pleasure, smiling from
cheek to cheek, yet the havoc within him remains. Whenever there
is desire, there is fear. His behavior depends on his attention. If his
attention is on desirable impressions, he behaves one way; if on his
fearful impressions, he behaves another way.
In the short term, his unstable condition is obvious. The
personality is violently shaken and forced to change its equilibrium,
with changes to the selves, interconnections and body. His attention
on acquiring money has shrunk; hence, his money-self becomes
smaller. Now his attention falls on satisfying his various desires
with the presumption that if only he has this and that, then he will
most definitely be forever happy and contented. The money-force is
displaced into these desirable selves, so they become bigger. On the
one hand, the money-force is significantly being released, causing
him to become energetic, euphoric and exhilarated. On the other
hand, the increased forces in the desirable selves are seeking release,
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causing him to become agitated and frustrated until their forces are
expended, which will then lead to satiation, weariness and probably
disgust. If the increased forces are not expended for a prolonged
period, then he becomes depressed due to the pressing down of
these forces.
In the long term, he is often in a worse condition than before.
All his fantasies on finding satisfaction, fulfillment, unending
happiness and contentment are false imaginations; hence, they all
disillusion him. This alone is a big blow. In addition, he is saddled
with the added troubles and false imaginations triggered by the
acquired fortune.
Of course, he may delude himself into presuming that a bigger
fortune will indeed solve all his problems; then the money-self
becomes bigger though he still has a lot of money. Or he may
imagine additional this and that, and proceed to presume that if he
has them, then he will, this time, most definitely be forever happy
and contented. So he continues to struggle, hope and pray. How
many blows are needed to wake him up and make him realize that
there is no end to it?
Instead of suddenly acquiring his fortune, if he acquires it
gradually, then there is no sudden strong reaction, but the overall
effect is the same though it may take longer.
Gigantic Wife-Self
In contrast with the above situation, what will happen if a
misfortune suddenly falls on him? For example, if his beloved wife
suddenly dies, then the wife-self instantly becomes much bigger.
Many of the other selves, which were created earlier and
strengthened over the years, become smaller; their forces are
transferred to the wife-self. Therefore, many of his desires, which he
previously considered them of importance, even indispensable, have
dwindled though previously he strove with all his might to satisfy
them. Even the instinctive desire to eat and drink has dwindled. Of
course, he becomes intensely enervated. He is also intensely
depressed because the various forces are pressed down by the
gigantic wife-self, compelling him to experience intense

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impressions of deprivation, emptiness and helplessness regarding


his wife.
The man is usually advised to avoid dwelling on the loss of his
wife by losing himself in work and other activities, by avoiding
circumstances that will trigger the remembrance of her. If the
trauma is not very severe, he may succeed in pulling it off, only
activating the wife-self occasionally when inadvertently exposed to
circumstances that trigger the remembrance of his wife. Then the
wife-force may be displaced into mental dialogue and imaginations.
If it is strong, then it may be externally expressed.
Formerly he did his work with zest; now he does it like a
zombie, listless and wearisome. Formerly desires pulled him to
work; now fears push him into work. The selves related to work are
activated primarily to displace the wife-force. If he doggedly sticks
to his work, over the years, it may appear that he has recovered from
his trauma, but it is not so. He has merely become habituated to it.
Time does not heal; it simply disperses the trauma into other selves.
The fire within his breast has gone out.
In the earlier example, initially the money-self was gigantic;
then it becomes small and may become gigantic again. In this
example, when the wife was alive, the wife-self was relatively
small. Then it suddenly became gigantic, but compelled to become
small again.
Gigantic Safety-Self
What will happen if the man is continually subjected to severe
physical and psychological pain for many years? In this case, he has
an active gigantic safety-self for many years; hence, he has become
accustomed to it.
An example, the case recounted by Stanislav Grof regarding a
client of his, a thirty-seven-year-old tutor. The tutor was often
brutally punished by his parents. In addition, he was also brutally
treated by the SS officers during World War II. Hence, he has a
gigantic safety-self.
When the tutor met Grof after the war, he, in Grofs words,
could hardly function in his everyday life. He was obsessed with
the idea of finding a man of a certain physical appearance,
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preferably clad in black. He wanted to befriend this man and tell


him of his urgent desire to be locked in a dark cellar and exposed to
physical and mental torture. Often unable to concentrate on anything
else, he wandered aimlessly through the city, visiting public parks,
lavatories, bars, and railroad stations in search of the right man.
He succeeded on several occasions in persuading or bribing
men who met his criteria to carry out his wishes. Having a special
gift for finding people with sadistic traits, he was twice almost
killed, seriously hurt several times, and once robbed of all his
money. On those occasions when he was successful in achieving the
experience he craved, he was extremely frightened and genuinely
disliked the torture he underwent.
After going through fifteen sessions of therapy, he recognized
the pattern of his obsessionhe seemed to crave all the elements of
punishment that had been inflicted on him by his parents.
REACTION OF THE SAFETY-SELF

For most of the tutors life, his gigantic safety-self was active
to deal with the brutal circumstances. The safety-force was probably
expended in constant muscular tension and constant concentrated
attention, intense but narrow, only on his parents. When he was
brutally punished, the force was expended through his reactions to
the punishment.
In the absence of similar circumstances, the safety-force was
not expended; hence, his safety-self became bigger and began to
shake violently. The tutor was compelled to experience and notice
the fearful feeling and thought impressions, evoking strong
impressions of deprivation and emptiness, for he was deprived from
expending the safety-force in the accustomed manner.
The safety-force forcibly compelled him to do what he did,
enabling him to expend the force in the accustomed manner though
he was extremely frightened by the experience. He feared the
psychological pain more than the physical pain, that is, he feared the
feeling and thought impressions more than the movement and sense
impressions. And he is not unique.
For example, the man who continues to smoke, although he
fears the danger of smoking, is afraid of psychological pain more
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than physical pain. Like the tutor, to a much lesser extent, after
smoking he is often frightened and genuinely disliked it.
POWER OF EMPTINESS

Paradoxically, the presence of force induces impressions of


deprivation and emptiness. But if it is expended, then the man is
satisfied and contented. Therefore, satisfaction is only possible
when the personality is empty of all forces. Is it surprising that
satisfaction is often followed by lethargy and complacency?
Impressions of deprivation and emptiness are powerful forces.
They compel the man to rush helter skater without rest and commit
all sorts of absurdities, but seen as most imperative at that moment,
only to fall into remorse and regret later. They compel him to
accumulate without end. The moment he is satiated with the
concrete, then he begins to accumulate the imaginary. Instead of
neutralizing these impressions, the more desperately he accumulates, the stronger he experiences impressions of deprivation and
emptiness, compelling him to become even more desperate.
MASOCHISTIC SELVES

The tutor was a passive man, so he became a masochist. If he


had been an aggressive man, then he would have become a sadist. A
sadist is also a masochist; in hurting others, he also hurts himself.
All selves hang on to their pain; all selves are masochistic, the
difference is only a matter of degree. In order to expend the
conflicting forces and not to feel deprived and empty, they are
willing to suffer. They fear deprivation and emptiness more than
physical pain. The pain, however great, is already habitual and
familiar. All selves cling foolishly to pain and pleasure, without
realizing that if they let go of pain and pleasure, they will not be
empty, but will be fullfull of peace and joy.
CONCLUDING REMARKS

Just look at any man who has a gigantic self. Any gigantic self
will do. Is there any real difference in behavior of the man with a
gigantic money-, work-, power-, or god-self from the tutor? A
gigantic self tends to compel him toward drastic activities, at times
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even overriding the instinctive desire for survival and safety. He is


often lost in it even while his body is eating, making love or
sleeping. Though he is competent in one particular aspect, he is
often incompetent in other aspects of his life.
If, however, the sizes of the selves are quite even, they will
hinder one another with relative ease; therefore, the man will
usually lead a longer, uneventful life. Nonetheless, the overall pain
and suffering, though passive, muted and inconspicuous, are the
same.
The man who works sixteen hours everyday is an extremely
fearful man. If not, does he enjoy torturing himself? Or is life so
poor that only his work is of value? Or is his work indispensable to
the welfare of the world? Indispensable man! Just look at what he
had wrought? What will happen if the whole of mankind completely
ceases to exist now? Will not every living thing, nay, even the
stones, immediately, with thunderous joy, of one accord, yell out in
jubilation and immense relief: Hallelujah! Oh, Lord, it is high
time. Oh, all right, not every living thing. Deprived of their
nutritious drink, mosquitoes and leeches are bound to be upset.
Deprived of their nutritious food, worms are also bound to be upset.
What will happen if the man suffers from terminal disease? A
disease that gigantically threatens all the selves. While other people
still behave like immortals, the dictum: death is certain, the hour
uncertainhas become real for him. He may simply fall apart, or he
may, having courage derived from sheer desperation, manage to
reassess his desires, find them wanting, drop them, and pass through
the veiled fog of impressions, finding inner harmony, peace and joy.

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14
DESIRE AND FEAR
REACTION

The well-known fight or flight response, also known as survival


response, is a misnomer. It is more accurate to call it a desire and
fear reaction, or death reaction. It is not an instinctive reaction, but a
mechanical one.
Apart from the instinctive inner activities of the body, such as
circulation of blood, a man is born with very few instinctive
external movements. A baby does not react with fear when he sees a
cat, a snake, a tiger or a ghost. If the cat bites his hand, he may not
even move his hand away, but he instinctively cries. If he is hungry,
he may not press his open mouth against his mothers nipple, which
may be only an inch away. But if his mothers nipple is pressed into
his mouth, then he instinctively sucks.
Later, of course, he eventually learns to move his hand away
and to reach for his mothers nipple. He may move his hand away
even when he is not bitten, even when the cat is ten feet away. As he
grows up, he amasses innumerable desire/fear reactions, which
entirely control all his actions, words and thoughts. By the way, all
reactions are desire/fear reactions.
Effects of Desire/Fear Reaction
These desire/fear reactions cause conflicting muscular contractions, resulting in excessive muscular tension. Most muscles in
the body work in pairs. For example, the biceps of the upper arm
complement the triceps. To bend the arm without excessive force,
the triceps must be completely loose. Or as the biceps contract, the
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triceps must loosen proportionally. But if there is a desire to bend


the arm and also a desire to straighten it, then both the biceps and
the triceps are contracted. Then whether the arm is bent or straight
depends on which are more contracted, the biceps or the triceps. In
either case, much more effort is needed and much more force is
wasted. Further, the conflicting desires cause the arm to move
awkwardly and unpredictably.
The man is plagued by innumerable of these conflicting desires
all day long. Consequently, most of his muscles are already somewhat permanently tense and rigid before he is even twenty-five
years old. As a child, he is an inexhaustible dynamo. At twenty-five,
the drain in power is already keenly experienced. At fifty, he
already has a host of bodily problems, mostly caused by this
excessive and unnecessary tension.
A few obvious effects of these desire/fear reactions are higher
blood pressure, faster heartbeats and faster breathing rate. Muscular
tension of the blood vessels causes the higher blood pressure
because the blood vessels are contracted and therefore smaller in
diameter. Muscular tension of the heart causes less blood flow per
heartbeat; hence, the heart must beat faster to compensate. Muscular
tension of the lungs causes less air intake per breath; hence, the
breathing rate must increase to compensate.
These effects, plus the overall muscular tension, result in pale
face, cold and weak hands and feet. Can the man respond better with
less oxygen to the head? Can he fight better with weak hands? Can
he run better with weak feet? Is the hesitation due to desire/fear
reaction a necessary preparation to fight or run? In the face of
danger, can he afford to waste a second? Can he afford to waste his
force in unnecessary tension? The idiotic reactions of the man under
this condition are well known, such as running toward the enemy
instead of away.
Nervous Systems
The sympathetic nervous system has received much blame for
causing stress and tension. In contrast, the parasympathetic nervous
system has received much praise for eliminating stress and tension.
Nonetheless, if the sympathetic nervous system were to turn off
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completely and the parasympathetic nervous system were to turn on


completely, the man will be paralyzed, unable to move even his
little fingers. Is this the optimum state?
The harmonious coordination of these two systems whereby no
excessive tension arises, irrespective of what the man is doing, is
actually the true optimum state. This state can only arise in the
absence of permanent muscular tension, in the absence of desire/fear
reaction. In fact, impeccability can be defined as the attaining of
maximal result with minimal effort, that is, the absence of excessive
and unnecessary tension in activity.
In any case, permanent muscular tension is not caused by
continually tensing the muscles per se; it is caused by the continual
desire to avoid inner conflict. If it were not so, then a Zen archer
will have very stiffed arm muscles. The Zen archer strives for years
to draw the bow and hold it at the point of highest tension
indefinitely. He tenses his muscles not because he desires to avoid
conflict, but because he desires to face and neutralize inner conflict.
In so doing, he is neutralizing the personality. As a result, his body
and muscles are supple and resilient. When Eugen Herrigel felt the
arm muscles of his master, after his master had drawn the bow at the
point of highest tension, he found that they were indeed quite
relaxed, as though they were doing no work at all. Similarly, a Qi
Gong practitioner strives for years to maintain the horse stance
indefinitely, but he does not end up walking like a duck. Instead, he
acquires a pair of powerful legsstable, strong and flexible.

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15
TEMPORARY
GIGANTIC
DESIRE/FEAR REACTION

It is unnecessary to delve on the idiotic behavior caused by small


desire/fear reactions in the mans daily life. His frequent selfreproach is sufficient proof. In fact, his frequent self-reproach itself
is an idiotic behavior due to the desire/fear reaction.
Man Meets Tiger
If the man comes upon a tiger in the middle of a street for the
first time, he will be startled, then he will probably be rooted to the
spot, stare at it and begin to quiver the same way a tense string
quivers. He may only have a small safety-self, but now the forces
from all the other active selves have moved into the safety-self. This
sudden and unusual gigantic increase in safety-force violently rocks
the safety-impressions, causing tension all over the body, so the
man quivers with tension, from head to toes. Is this a survival
response?
The tiger and the evoked fearful impressions of the adverse
consequences completely trap his observation, compelling him to
observe the tiger and the fearful impressions intensely. Of course,
he notices his pounding heart. Is this the time to notice his pounding
heart? At any rate, even if he is not paralyzed by tension, is the fight
or flight reaction a survival response? What chance does he have in
outfighting or outrunning the tiger?
To survive, he must direct his sight to the surrounding, looking
for a way to escape. If there is none, the best survival response may
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be to back away slowly, stand still or lie down with exposed neck in
submission. This response requires presence of mind and calmness,
not excessive tension and agitation. Of course, he may fight or run,
but presence of mind and calmness are needed to assess quickly the
best course to take. Further, fear evokes fear; hence, animals and
other men will often react by attacking.
Child Meets Oncoming Car
Likewise, if a child or a jungle dweller comes upon an
oncoming car for the first time, he will be startled and probably be
rooted to the spot. If the child is not killed, often he will react by
berating himself for not moving aside, especially if he is injured.
This reaction will connect the impressions of the oncoming car and
the adverse consequences of being hit to the impressions of moving
aside.
The second time the child comes upon an oncoming car; he
will probably be startled, hesitate for a moment, and then move
aside. As this reaction is repeated, the hesitation becomes shorter in
duration and the moving aside reaction becomes quicker because the
impressions of the oncoming car have become more tightly
connected to the impressions of moving aside. Hence, the safetyforce, that is, the force of the fearful impressions of the adverse
consequences and the desirable impressions for safety, is quickly
channeled into the impressions of moving aside and expended in
physical movement.
Sudden Peak Performance
True, if the man comes upon a tiger for the first time, instead of
staying rooted, he may almost instantly run away. In this case, he
has already been deeply conditioned beforehand, particularly from
movies showing gory details of being mauled by a tiger or any wild
animal. Unconsciously and automatically, these movies have
already conditioned him to run away.
And he will run a lot faster than usual. The stronger these gory
details are evoked, the faster he runs. A powerful force propels him,
so he runs effortlessly and much more effectively. In addition, he
will probably experience impressions of exhilaration, freedom and
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power. But he has no control of this power. In fact, this power


completely controls him. Even if the thought of stopping or slowing
down occurs to him, he will find it impossible to do so, no matter
how hard he tries.
He may have small permanent safety-self and run-self, but now
forces from all other active selves move into the safety-self, and this
temporary gigantic safety-force then moves into the run-self and is
expended in physical running. Hence, he runs effortlessly and
impeccably because now all of the various forces within the
personality have become the run-force, that is, the previous
conflicting forces within the personality now move in the same
direction.
He experiences exhilaration and freedom because much of the
conflicting forces are expended and many of the tight connections
within the personality have loosened temporarily. Naturally, the
permanently tense muscles have also loosened temporarily. Shortly
after the run, the personality will return to its former stable and rigid
equilibrium, and the impressions of exhilaration, freedom and
power will be gone. Yes, it is probably a most memorable event of
his life. At any rate, is this a survival response? What is his chance
of outrunning the tiger?
By the way, these desirable impressions of exhilaration,
freedom and power often compel man to indulge in high-risk
activities. But when these activities have become habitual, then
these impressions are gone. To displace more force, he must
increase the danger. If circumstances prevent him from these
activities, he becomes agitated, irritated, edgy and fidgety.
A sudden gigantic desire/fear reaction happens only in
unexpected circumstances, without any plans beforehand. The
jungle dweller is already deeply conditioned to react quickly on
seeing a tiger; likewise, the city dweller is already deeply
conditioned to move aside quickly on seeing an oncoming car.
No-Gap Action
The startle reaction is simply the initial stage of the desire/fear
reaction. An example of a common startle reactionif the man
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accidentally drops an object, he will be startled, then probably stay


rooted and gape at the dropping object. If, however, he is calm, at
ease and less preoccupied, his hand will often instantly reach for it
with astounding swiftness and precision. In the state of ease, the
observation is the action. In this case, the seeing is the action. There
is no gap between the seeing and the reaching for the object, no
startle reaction. How did he do it? Is it instinctive? If so, why does
this instinctive reaction happen only a few times and not all, or at
least most of, the time?
A personal accountonce the author was lying on the right
half of a bed, on his stomach, with his right body toward the edge.
And his two-year-old niece was walking on the left half of the bed.
Suddenly he heard a shriek and the next moment his right hand was
holding one of her ankles, with her head about an inch or so above
the cement floor. Without touching him at all, she had tripped and
flew over his buttocks. Somehow he managed to catch her ankle
with astounding swiftness and precision. Further, in moving from a
prone position and reaching back, there was no way he could have
used his eyes. Anyway, if he had to see her ankle to catch it, it
would have been too late. In this case, the hearing was the action.
This incident happened many years before he treads the way.
If it is possible to perform such amazing act even when
attention is only a little freer, just imagine what will happen if all
the attention is freed from desire/fear reaction.

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16
PERMANENT
GIGANTIC
DESIRE/FEAR REACTION

What will happen to a civilian and a soldier if they are in the midst
of war for many years?
Passive Reaction
The civilian cannot fight. In constant fear for his own safety
and life, he can only hide. After a sufficiently long time, most forces
within the personality has permanently moved into the safety-self;
thus, the safety-self is gigantic and active. Because he cannot fight,
most of the time, the safety-force is expended into the body and in
intense concentration on certain external stimuli. Because his
concentration on the external stimuli often does not help him, it may
eventually disappear. Thus, the safety-force may only be expended
into the body constantly.
If this happens, then he will become indifferent to external
circumstances because only a little active force remains within the
personality. At the height of indifference, he may continue to eat
even when another man in another table was just killed by a bomb,
as if nothing had happened. Because most force within the
personality is expended into the body, he is constantly depressed,
bored, apathetic and in a state of malaise. Even after the war, he will
continue to behave in the same way.

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Active Reaction
In contrast, the soldier can fight, run, hit the ground, and so on.
So less safety-force is expended into the body. Over the years, how
he reacts to certain external stimuli has become permanently fixed.
After the war, any similar external stimuli will instantly evoke
similar reactions. In EMDR: The Breakthrough Therapy for
Overcoming Anxiety, Stress and Trauma, writing about her
experience with Vietnam War veterans, Francine Shapiro says:
Some veterans cant walk city streets, shop in malls, or go
to sports events because the crowds and the chaotic
background noise bring up old fears and trigger terrifying
flashbacks. In a flashback, the sights, sounds, smells,
physical sensations, and emotions from the time of the
original event come back so forcefully that the veteran
believes he is back in Vietnam. For example, he may hit
the ground when he hears a car backfire or a plane
overhead. The reaction is reflexive, like a knee-jerk
response; there is no control. . . . Even the most benign
action, like a friends gentle hand on the shoulder, can set
off an immediate physical response of fear, anxiety, or
pain.
During the war, they expended the force of these fearful
impressions in physical activities. After the war, they may expend it
into the body, through various physical activities or through
violence. They may expend it through drinking or taking drugs.
According to Shapiro, They may use alcohol or drugs to dull their
pain and avoid thinking about Vietnam. They may also restrict what
they do and where they go to avoid being triggered.
Wearied and frustrated by various vain attempts to avoid the
fearful feeling and thought impressions, they may deliberately put
themselves in similar circumstances to get it over with, but the
fearful feeling and thought impressions are only temporarily
displaced and expended. Therefore, like Grofs tutor, many get
involved in high-risk activities that mirror their combat experience
in order to expend the force of these fearful impressions. Shapiro
says, Veterans with PTSD [posttraumatic stress disorder] are often
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unknowingly driven to behaviors that mirror their combat


experience and worsen their present suffering.
Thus, they continually indulge in various activities to avoid
noticing the fearful feeling and thought impressions. In short, they
fear the feeling and thought impressions more than the movement
and sense impressions, so they would rather experience the fearful
movement and sense impressions to avoid experiencing the fearful
feeling and thought impressions. Or more accurately, the fearful
feeling and thought impressions forcibly propel them into circumstances that will expend these impressions, and these circumstances
inadvertently evoke the movement and sense impressions.
Consequently, the life of the veteran with PTSD is controlled
by his gigantic safety-self. One moment, his safety-self pulls him
toward safe circumstances; the next moment, it pushes him toward
dangerous circumstances.
Time and Circumstances Do Not Heal
When both the civilian and the soldier are back amid their
former external circumstances after the war, these circumstances
now evoke comparatively little desire and fear because most forces
of the selves associated to the former circumstances are constantly
displaced into the safety-self.
Under usual circumstances, the safety-force will evoke
desirable impressions of safety, which will pull the man into
circumstances that secure his safety. But if he is continually exposed
to circumstances whereby he is unable and powerless to secure his
safety, then he may become indifferent to danger, or be assailed by
fearful impressions of danger, which may push him into dangerous
circumstances. That is, the man automatically strives to realize
externally what is within him, either desire or fear.
Because both the civilian and the soldier are immersed and lost
in fearful impressions, these impressions are projected outside.
Hence, their condition can continue to spiral downward even though
they are back amid their former circumstances. As a result, both
men are caught in a vicious loop, trapped by their abnormal body
and personality.

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Shapiro says:
In people with PTSD, these intrusive, disturbing thoughts
can persist for years. They are not resolved with the
simple passage of time. People with PTSD can wake up
screaming from the same nightmare month after month,
even year after year. . . . In some instances, the person has
full-blown flashbacks in which his feelings are so intense
he thinks or feels that he is reliving the event.
In general, the man fears feeling impressions most because the
feeling impressions are stronger than the other three types of
impressions; hence, they affect him most. When he is afraid to recall
a fearful experience, he does not really fear evoking the associated
thought impressions; he fears evoking the associated feeling
impressions. Similarly, when he avoids fearful circumstances, he
does not really fear evoking the movement and sense impressions;
he fears evoking the associated thought impressions, which in turn
will evoke the associated feeling impressions.
Because only thought impressions can be long lasting and
because the movement and sense impressions can only be indirectly
connected to thought impressions by the feeling impressions, the
feeling and thought impressions are therefore more powerful than
the movement and sense impressions.
In general, thought impressions by themselves are weak. This
is easily proven by the inability to use thought impressions to
change habits. For instance, the man may constantly think of
stopping smoking, but the moment he feels like smoking, he quickly
forgets about stopping and starts to smoke. After smoking, he may
quickly think of stopping again. Hence, feeling and thought
impressions together are powerful. In fact, movement and sense
impressions are merely the effects of feeling and thought
impressions.

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17
FLOW, CREATIVITY
AND
SOUL APPEARANCE

Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi and his research team describe the state of


flow as follows:
Flow is a state of total absorption. As an outstanding chess
player describes it: The game is a struggle, and the
concentration is like breathingyou never think of it. The
roof can fall in and, if it missed you, you could be
unaware of it.
Flow involves centering ones attention on a limited
stimulus fieldwith all else shut out. A professor of
science who climbs rocks says: When I start on a climb, it
is as if my memory input has been cut off. All I can
remember is the last thirty seconds, and all I can think
ahead is the next five minutes.
Sham Flow
Below are two common examples of total absorption and the
centering of attention on a limited stimulus field.
First example, the man is playing a computer game in which he
is driving a simulated racing car, and he is so totally absorbed that
he has become the car. He controls the car and the car controls him.
He then sways right and left, jerks forward and backward, parallel to
the motion of the car. It can reach a point that he falls off the stool
he was sitting on.
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Second example, the man is watching an adventurous movie,


and he is so totally absorbed that he has become the protagonist. He
is assailed by impressions he assumes the protagonist must be
experiencing. All these are reactions he has projected on to the
protagonist. Similarly, he projects his reactions on to everybody and
everything around him, even to people ten thousand miles away.
What is man? He is truly a superb projectionist.
Although the man is totally absorbed in the above two
examples, he is definitely not in flow. Although he appears to be
struggling intensely (yes, he can also be struggling intensely while
watching a movie), actually there is not the slightest struggle. He
has merely succumbed totally to the associated desire/fear reactions.
These reactions cause tremendous loss of force. Of course, this
expenditure of conflicting forces produces pleasure, satisfaction and
relief.
Conditions for Genuine Flow
Here is an example on the conditions needed for flow to
happen. Suppose when the man was still a child, he has already
decided to devote all his time and effort to break the world record in
distant running. So everyday, for many years, he struggles to let go
of all other desires. He constantly undergoes training and experiments with running in order to run more effectively and efficiently.
He also experiments with various diets, activities and circumstances
to find out their effects on his body.
The greatest difficulty he faces is probably to neutralize the
desire/fear reactions within the run-self, primarily impressions of
the desire to succeed, the fear of failure and their consequences. In
short, he must learn to struggle without any expectation. Paradoxically, he has the best chance to break the world record if he strives
unsparingly to run impeccably, that is, without caring and worrying
about the world record. If he does not strive to run impeccably, just
for the sake of running impeccably, but for other aims, then the
selves created by these aims will prevent him from running
impeccably.
If he is successful, after some years he has created a gigantic
run-self. Apart from the run-self, there are only a few, small other
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selves. He has harmonized the impressions within the run-self, the


run-self with his body, and both the run-self and the body with
external circumstances. In short, there is little conflict among them.
Because he is constantly experimenting, his personality, that is, his
run-self and other selves, is comparatively less rigid than usual.
Under this situation, when he runs, sometimes his inner
conditions and external circumstances are such that even the
remaining few conflicts disappear, that is, the few, small opposing
selves become dormant, or their forces are channeled into the runself. Hence, he is totally absorbed by the run-self and in running. He
is in flowso he runs effortlessly and is in a state of ease. Anyway,
at most times, he already can run well, with little effort or struggle.
Of course, sometimes the opposing selves become unusually strong,
then he has to struggle more than usual.
Consequences of Flow
The chess player mentioned by Csikszentmihalyi could easily
be killed if the roof had fallen down on him. If the house is on fire,
he could easily have been burnt alive. His immense desire to win
has totally absorbed his attention.
Further, Csikszentmihalyi determines that flow happens when
the man is absorbed in an activity that is neither too easy nor too
difficult. If it is too easy, he becomes bored and easily distracted,
but if too difficult, he becomes anxious. Hence, the increasing level
of difficulty must be steady. In other words, flow depends on inner
conditions and external circumstances. Because the difficulties of
life alternate with distressing rapidity, there is no possibility to
incorporate the flow state into daily activities constantly.
If the chess player meets a significantly more powerful
opponent, or if the professor who climbs rocks encounters a
significantly more difficult situation, what will happen then? Is he
going to quiver like a tense string? Will that be useful to him? In
easy situations, he can be distracted or tensed up without adverse
consequences, whereas in difficult situations, he cannot afford to be
distracted or tensed up, yet he immediately proceeds to do so.
Of course, sometimes he may inadvertently rise above the
significantly more difficult situations and perform unusually well,
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analogous to the man who suddenly comes upon a tiger and


proceeds to break the world-running record without any training.
Conditions for Creativity
Referring to the example given by Betty Edwards earlierif
the student constantly struggles to understand why his drawing does
not resemble a cube, if he keeps on evaluating his concept of a cube
in various ways, if he keeps on looking at the physical cube from
various positions, and if he keeps on drawing various shapes in the
attempt to draw a cube that resembles a cube, he will be creating
much conflict and tension within the personality, particularly within
the draw-self. As a result, he may get a glimpse of the solution, but
only a glimpse. Initially the details of the impressions and their
synthesis are often nebulous and vague. Hence, if the student desires
to master his drawing skill, he must delve deeper. One way is to
draw objects that are more complicated. In short, he must
continually expose himself to the pain of the conflicting impressions
in order to wrestle the secret of drawing bit by bit.
Consequences of Creativity
If the student continues to be creative, that is, if he continues to
experiment with different and new ways of drawing in order to
reflect reality more closely, then his draw-self is fluid and flexible.
It can receive unfamiliar impressions even though they may
contradict the existing ones. Hence, his draw-self is in frequent
turmoil. Because his gigantic draw-self is in frequent turmoil, his
other selves and his personality as a whole are also in frequent
turmoil. Therefore, although now and then he produces a truly
creative drawing, he often leads a disorderly and destructive
lifestyle because he often is unable to handle the inner turmoil
effectively. Further, his occasional successes often produce
immense conceit and self-importance, worsening his condition. It is
not surprising that the creative man is eccentric, for he is often so
absorbed that he becomes oblivious of his behavior and the
surroundings, thus endangering his life at times. For example,
according to David Keirsey, Einstein shuffled in the streets of New
York in his bedroom slippers. . . .
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In short, flow and creativity imply the existence of a flexible


gigantic self, which often causes turmoil and unbalanced. Further,
like all gigantic selves, if circumstances prevent the man from
expending the force within the gigantic self, then he gets extremely
agitated, irritated, edgy and fidgety. In exchange for occasional
unusual states, he has to endure more distress than usual.
Flashes of Soul Appearance
The man who has a flexible gigantic self will experience more
flashes of soul appearances than usual because his personality is
frequently in turmoil. The more lengthy and intense the personality
is racked by conflicting forces, the more frequent the soul will
appear because the chaotic interaction among the conflicting forces
loosens many rigid connections. Therefore, sometimes not allincoming energy is converted into force instantly.
Usually many days, weeks and months of continuous struggle
and turmoil are needed to produce a few seconds of small soul
appearance. Even so, this brief appearance often helps to solve his
problem, because for a brief moment, he perceives the different and
opposing impressions simultaneously and synthetically. Whats
more, the soul realm is the realm of creativity.
Anyway, a flexible gigantic self is dispensable. If the man is
willing to struggle unsparingly to be impeccable in everything he
does, he will also experience soul appearances more frequently.
This is an inkling of the immense difficulty to get back his soul.
Soul Appearance under Exceptional Circumstances
Under exceptional circumstances, it is possible for the soul to
appear without increased conflict, but with reduced conflict instead.
For instance, the man happens to be in a country in which what he
sees, hears, touches, smells and tastes are unusual to him. In short,
he is in a most unusual circumstance. If he is alone, the safety-self
will instantly be activated, but if a trusted guide accompanies him,
then for a brief moment, a smaller number than usual of associated
selves are activated, the selves are activated more slowly, and the
active selves are weaker than usual. Hence, the personality becomes
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a little smaller, so a small soul appears because not all-incoming


energy is converted into force instantly. Because there are less
conflicting forces than usual within the personality, the small soul
may last for more than a few seconds. This state is more intense and
strange than the preceding states because he is not trapped by any
gigantic self, not lost in it
Here the man perceives his physical body and the physical
surroundings as they are. He perceives his existence, that is, he
perceives himself. Although this experience lasts for only a brief
moment, it can still be vividly re-experienced decades later. To a
lesser extent, this is also true for the flashes of soul appearance in
the flow and creative states.
Here the man centers himself in the soul and looks down on the
impressions of the personality, like a bird that looks down from the
sky. The creative man centers himself in the personality and strives
to peer into the soul. He is like a bird in a cage, which when taken
outside the house, enables it to look up at the sky.
Sudden Permanent Soul Appearance
There are instances whereby a significant amount of force is
permanently transformed into energy. Or more precisely, a
significant amount of energy is not converted into force, but remains
as energy permanently, so a soul of significant size appears
permanently. For instance, people who experienced NDEs (neardeath experiences), that is, declared clinically dead and having
flat brainwaves, were resuscitated. Their experiences when their
brainwaves were flat often result in the appearance of a permanent
soul of significant size. In The Holographic Universe, Michael
Talbot writes:
Researchers have discovered that NDEers are almost
always profoundly changed by their journey to the
beyond. They become happier, more optimistic, more
easygoing, and less concerned with material possessions.
Most striking of all, their capacity to love expands
enormously. . . . NDEers also become much more
spiritually oriented. They return not only firmly convinced
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of the immortality of the human soul, but also with a deep


and abiding sense that the universe is compassionate and
intelligent, and this loving presence is always with them.
Treading the Way
If the man wishes to control his personality, he must first be
able to perceive it. Otherwise, he has no control of himself and is at
the mercy of his inner conditions and external circumstances.
Without the soul, he is unconscious and asleep.
The man who treads the way, who seeks to attain harmony,
peace and joy, has only one aimto remove all conflict. He aims to
neutralize the personality, that is, all the selves, by not having any
expectation, including the expectation of attaining harmony, peace
and joy. Whatever he does, he constantly strives to do more
effectively and efficiently, without sparing himself. He strives to be
competent in all aspects of his life under all circumstances. This is
the only way to rise above all difficulties and neutralize all desirable
and fearful impressions. To expedite his progress, he often deliberately puts himself in more difficult and unfamiliar situations.
Whatever he does, he does not allow anything to absorb him
because anything that absorbs him controls him. He strives to
perceive all external stimuli and internal impressions clearly,
shutting out none. As a result, under any circumstances, he has the
best chance of survival; nothing catches him unexpectedly or by
surprise. Further, he often responds with swiftness and precision.

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PART THREE

THE WAY
Unless and until a man embarks upon this quest of the true self,
doubt and uncertainty will follow his footsteps throughout life. The
greatest kings and statesmen try to rule others, when in their heart of
hearts they know that they cannot rule themselves. Yet the greatest
power is at the command of the man who has penetrated to his
inmost depth. There are men of giant intellects who spend their lives
gathering knowledge about many things. Ask these men if they have
solved the mystery of man, if they have conquered themselves, and
they will hang their heads in shame. What is the use of knowing
about everything else when you do not yet know who you are? Men
avoid this enquiry into the true self, but what else is there so worthy
to be undertaken? . . . Know the real self and then the truth will
shine forth within your heart like sunshine. The mind will become
untroubled and real happiness will flood it, for happiness and the
true self are identical. You will have no more doubts once you attain
this self-awareness.
Ramana Maharishee

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18
SPIRITUAL
PRACTICE

Are you willing to be sponged out, erased, canceled,


made nothing?
Are you willing to be made nothing?
dipped into oblivion?
If not, you will never really change.
D.H. Lawrence

Spiritual practices may mistakenly be assumed the most useless and


boring activities. After all, what can appear more useless and boring
than physical and mental stillness?
Endless Activity
The man riding on a fast galloping horse, which constantly
changes direction and takes him to many places, may presume that
he is living the most useful and interesting life because he is sparing
no effort to attain everything, to do everything, and to go everywhere. He has been on the horse all his life and cannot imagine a
different kind of life.
He presumes that he has complete control of the horse, finding
it ridiculous and absurd to presume otherwise, although events
continually contradict his presumption. He, however, has already
become an expert in justification, denial and distortion, so he
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blames his lack of control on circumstances. In blaming circumstances, he has already tacitly admitted that circumstances control
the horsenot him; again, this is denied.
In quiet moments, he may notice the terrifying and horrifying
truth, so he avoids them by always projecting his attention, that is,
impressions, externally and keeping himself busy. In moving so
blindingly fast, everything he notices is vague, obscure and
uncertain. (What does the tourist who visits ten countries in a week
see clearlythe inside of a bus!) Even worse, soon he finds that he
does not know what to learn, what to do, or where to go. After all,
he already knows everything, has done everything and has gone
everywhere.
The moment of awakening hits him on the day he realizes and
is willing to face the fact that he has no control of the horse.
Meanwhile, as long as the pain and suffering are still bearable, he
continues to delude himself. If he is unfortunatemaybe fortunate
the horse goes over the precipice, and his troubles are over.
Insanity
On the other hand, he may realize his predicament but does not
know what to do, then he goes insane; it happened to Robert Pirsig.
He had an I.Q. of 170, only one person in fifty thousand has ita
most powerful thoroughbred horse. Sadly, after twenty-eight
consecutive sessions of high-voltage current running through his
brain, he becomes a fraction horse. Even then, he retains enough
gumption (a word he likes) to write the best-seller, Zen and the Art
of Motorcycle Maintenance.
Pirsig had frequent glimpses of the soul (he calls it Quality)
and therefore realized its value. In fact, he strove hard to defend it,
that is, he strove to defend that which cannot be defined. In so
doing, he was trapped by analysis, definition and his cleverness.
There is no end to analysis and each statement implies a
contrary statement. When Pirsig was asked whether a well-cooked
meal served in the best of restaurants is really something that we
should turn down, he found that each argument is easily countered
by a contrary argumentendlessly. He also found that each
statement he had made has been a brick in a wall of definition he
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himself has been building around Quality. Any attempt to develop


an organized reason around an undefined quality defeats its own
purpose. The organization of the reason itself defeats the quality.
For these reasons, he was driven insane. Fortunately he recovered
enough to warn us.
Before his insanity, he had spent many years studying Oriental
philosophy at Benares Hindu University in India, but never
meditated because it made no sense to him. If he had, the horse
might have grown a pair of wings, enabling him to mock at seas and
mountains, and above all, be under his complete control.
He gained wealth, fame, praise and popularity from the book,
yet about ten years after its publication, he writes, I go on living,
more from force of habit than anything elseprobably the saddest
statement anyone can make.
Only One Thing Is Needed
The man will begin to look for the way when he realizes only
one thing is useful, important and crucialstop the unruly horse.
Without that, everything else is sheer foolishness. Instead of finding
it boring, he will be faced with the most difficult and challenging
task of his entire life. It does not matter how capable he is, how
strong he is, and how much he had achieved before because this task
requires a radical change, diametrically opposite to everything he
had done and thought before. It demands the willingness to face the
new and unknown, which lies all around him and within him, at all
times. Therefore, his entire struggle is to free himself from the
bondage of the old and known, that is, the impressions that shield
him from the new and unknown. Initially, the horse must be
stopped, that is, its desires must be removed. After that, he can then
learn to control it while on the move.
Boredom
What is boredom? Is it the absence of desire to do anything or
to go anywhere? Is it because there is nothing to do? How can that
be? The man is brimful with desires, and he can always do
something irrespective of circumstances. Or is it because he is
uncomfortable in his present circumstances, but to change it, that is,
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to do what he desires to do, will bring more discomfort? So he stays


put, therefore boredom is actually fear of discomfort, resulting in
restlessness, frustration and irritation. As long as he seeks to be
comfortable, he will be bored. The bored man is a self-important
man. The more self-important, the more he demands that everybody
and everything must strive to make him comfortable. Consequently,
everybody and everything offends him.
On the other hand, he can be genuinely bored. He does nothing
not because he fears discomfort, pain or suffering, but because he
has realized that the personality life is meaningless and worthless,
ending only in death. Nonetheless, instead of living from force of
habit, he can strive to find out if there is more to life.
The man who treads the way will experience everything except
boredom, in the sense of having nothing to do. He constantly strives
to place himself in increasingly uncomfortable conditions, and it is
possible to do that irrespective of circumstances. He does that not
because he is an incurable masochist, finding pleasure in pain and
suffering. On the contrary, he does that to free himself from endless
pain and suffering.

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19
TWO TECHNIQUES
FOR
VERIFICATION

If the man is willing to allocate a few days to experiment with


Technique One, he will be able to verify for himself the gist of his
actual state of being: the absence of consciousness; the mechanical
reactions of his actions, words and thoughts; and the continual
changes of contradictory and conflicting impressions. In short, he
has no control of his observation.
It is enough to experiment with Technique One initially;
Technique Two is more difficult, therefore leave it for later. For it to
be effective, he must strive unsparingly to prove that he is
conscious, is not mechanical, and can control the impressions at
will. In short, he must strive to prove that he can do any simple,
non-habitual actions for a reasonable period of time, independent of
external circumstances, at willtherefore proving that he can
control his observation.
Technique One
The experiment in Technique One is simple and likely to
appear ridiculously easy, but the man will find it impossible no
matter how hard he tries. It consists in striving to observe his daily
activities, such as smoking, eating, walking, reading, tying his
shoes, washing dishes and so on.
First, he must decide exactly which day to begin, using his
usual method to remind him. For best results, he must select many
activities to experiment on. Then he must plan ahead and decide
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exactly what he wishes to do, under what usual external


circumstances, throughout the day, and then strive to do them at the
predetermined usual circumstances regardless of how reluctant he
is, what he feels and what he thinks.
Though Technique One is not designed for this purpose,
however, he will notice his mechanical propensity to ignore or find
excuses to postpone carrying out his predetermined decisions. If he
carries out the experiment only when he happens to remember it or
when he feels like itthen he will realize NOTHING. He will
merely be doing what the personality is doing.
FIRST STEP:

suppose he has decided beforehand to observe his


left hand as he walks, he will realize that he cannot remember his
decision while he is walking, that is, if he remembers to evaluate his
performance later.
Observing the left hand does not imply looking at it with his
eyes, though he can and must do that if he had decided to do that
beforehand, for instance, when he is washing dishes. In this case, it
implies the attempt to observe the position and movement of his left
hand kinesthetically.
SECOND STEP: he then uses unusual circumstances and
associations to help him to remember. The unusual circumstances
will free a little attention for a moment, thus helping him to
remember. For example, he can paste reminders in places whereby
he will see them whenever he is about to walk and while he is
walking. He can also put a small stone inside a shoe or turn his shoe
upside down to remind him. The more unusual it is, the more it
helps him to remember. If, however, he did not use this opportunity
to observe his left hand, he will realize the unusual circumstances
will quickly lose their effects and will not help him to remember
anymore, that is, he has gotten used to the change in circumstances.
Therefore, even if the reminder is right in front of him, it will not
remind him anymore, he will not even see it.
THIRD STEP: he reaches this step only when he has striven to
observe his hand almost every time he is reminded; thus, the
reminders will usually remind him. Now he will realize that he

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cannot observe the left hand for more than a moment no matter how
hard he tries. Very little free attention is needed to observe just the
left hand for more than a few seconds, yet he will find it impossible.
He does not have even a little free attention for more than a
moment; still, he has a little free attention for a momenta crucial
and momentous factimplying that his unconscious and
mechanical state is not absolute. He can wake up. He can become
conscious.
FOURTH STEP: if he includes in the reminder to bend the little
finger of the left hand in an unaccustomed way as he walks, then he
will realize he can observe the left hand a little longer. If he bends
the wrist and all the fingers of the left hand, then he can observe the
left hand even longer, provided he remembers to keep it bent and is
able to do so. In short, the more he moves away from the habitual
way of holding his left hand, the longer he can maintain observation
on it, because the more unaccustomed it is, the more the walk-self is
disturbed. Hence, the unaccustomed position of the hand frees a
little attention and automatically traps some attention.
Attention automatically moves toward pain to remove it. If he
continues to hold the left hand in the same unaccustomed way, then
he will observe the pain and the desire to remove it; thus, he also
observes his left hand. Both the pain and the desire to remove it trap
his attention, resulting in conflict and tension. It is painful because
when he holds the left hand in an unaccustomed way, he is
stretching the rigid walk-self. So he experiences discomfort and
awkwardness.
The longer he keeps the left hand in an unaccustomed way, the
more painful it becomes, but if he reverts to the accustomed way of
holding his left hand, then he will experience pleasure. When the
pain is gone, the pleasure is gone, too. The attention moves to
another pain or to its accustomed place. For example, if a sharper
pain is inflicted on the right leg, the attention on the left hand will
move to the right leg; therefore, the pain in the left hand is not
experienced anymore even though it is still there. The sharper pain
has attracted the attention. If it is removed, then the attention will
move back to the left hand.

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If the man can only endure the pain of holding the little finger
differently, he can do it for only a little more than a moment longer
because he is only changing a very small part of the walk-self.
Hence, the walk-self will quickly compel the little finger to revert to
its usual position. In order to change the walk-self for a significant
duration, he must be able to endure the pain of changing a big part
of it for that duration.
ULTIMATE REALIZATION

If the man has sincerely striven to carry out the experiment, he


will realize from experience his unconscious, mechanical and
helpless state, completely controlled by habitsdown to the little
finger of his left hand, by external circumstances, by pain and the
desire to remove it. His entire life is simply movements from one
pain to another.
If he stops striving, however, this realization will disappear
shortly. The personality returns back to its previous rigid equilibrium, and he continues to delude himself into believing that he is
conscious and can do. Therefore, he must persist in the struggle in
order to retain this realization. If he does, he will become stronger
and will learn a lot about the personality. The ability to retain this
realization is already a great achievement. It is only in experiencing
with his entire being his nothingness, helplessness, and all the
horror resulting from his actual state that will give him the courage
to tread the way.
By the way, the man who had read a truckload of selfimprovement books for decades and wonders why he is not
improved in any way may now realize the reason for his nonimprovement. The vast majority of these books are written by
sleeping authors and serve to put their readers to sleep more
soundly. But he has not wasted his time and effort. In fact, it is an
excellent preparation because it forcibly compels him to realize the
unconsciousness and conflicting nature of thoughts.
BACKED AGAINST THE WALL

Suppose a pistol is pointed at him and he is commanded to


walk with his little finger bent in an unaccustomed way for an hour,
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can he do it? He most definitely is able to do it. In fact, he is unable


not to do it because now the gigantic safety-self is controlling the
walk-self. Likewise, if he is offered a million dollars, then he is also
able to do it and unable not to because then the gigantic money-self
is controlling the walk-self. Hence, if he breaks the world-running
record when a tiger is chasing him is not a great achievement. In
short, stupendous achievement under great stress is easier than
simple conscious action under ordinary circumstances.
ADDITIONAL AID

Initially the man will find it easier to practice walking while


holding a cup filled almost to the brim with water. Skill or strength
is not needed to avoid spilling the water. As long as he can maintain
his observation on the cup, he will be able to perform successfully.
If, however, he spills the water, it will provide him useful feedback.
The cup and the feedback will therefore help to trap his observation.
If he still cannot observe for more than a few seconds, then he can
carry a cup brimful of corrosive acidthat will certainly trap his
observation. This is only spoken half in jest.
In A Gradual Awakening, Stephen Levine speaks of a monk
who was directed by his teacher to continue his meditation sitting
on the edge of a deep well. That quickly removed his sleepy and
drowsy state. What would have happened if he had fallen into the
well? Just imagine the risk the monk and his teacher had taken.
BODY STRADDLES

Is walking in an unaccustomed way equivalent to being in


unfamiliar circumstances? Both yes and no because the body
straddles between inner conditions and external circumstances. This
attribute of the body has tremendous value because the man can
struggle to change the inner conditions by only changing the body.
Therefore, he can struggle as hard as he wishes under any external
circumstances. Later, when he has neutralized the movement and
sense impressions considerably, that is, when he is struggling
primarily with the feeling and thought impressions, then he can
struggle as hard as he wishes without changing the body in any way.

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When he practices the formal methods, that is, Raja Yoga and
Vipassana (Insight) meditation, this technique will help him to
integrate his formal practice into his everyday activities. Hence,
Technique One is not just for verification, it is also vital to include it
as part of his practice.
Technique Two
The behavior of a particular self, say, the cigarette-self, can be
studied in the following four ways. If the man is not a smoker, he
can select any of his habits, but it must be a strong and harmful
habit, preferably one that he indulges in many times a day. In this
case, he may have to modify Technique Two, making it appropriate
to his chosen habit. It does not imply that he will not obtain the
same realization with a weak and harmless habit, but that it is
impossible for him to carry it out. How can he observe the weak
reactions when even most of the strong reactions are hidden from
him? Hence, the stronger the habit, the easier it is to carry out this
experiment because the strong, unusual, conflicting reactions will
automatically trap his observation, otherwise his observation will
simply be lost into other stronger reactions. In a way, Technique
Two builds on Technique One. Besides the difficulties of Technique
One, the man must now strive to observe the reactions. Hence, if he
has experimented with Technique One sufficiently long enough, he
can select a less strong habit.
FIRST: he strives to abstain without displacement. There is no
need to strive to abstain through displacement; he is already an
expert at that. To do this, he strives to abstain without changing the
cigarette-circumstances in any way. For example, if after a meal, he
used to sip coffee and smoke for five minutes; now after a meal, he
strives to sip coffee without smoking for five minutes. He must also
strive not to change anything else, that is, remove the packet of
cigarette from the table, read the newspaper or even move to another
table.
He can strive to experience the desire to smoke without
smoking by anchoring the observation on the no-smoking reminder
or any selected object. It is crucial to anchor the observationa

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deliberate and intentional act designed to control the attention. Even


if he does not change the external circumstances, unless he anchors
his observation, the cigarette-force will still be displaced. It will be
displaced into thoughts, imagination, daydreams or physical tension.
SECOND: he strives to write down his impressions when he is
averse to smoking, when he is neutral toward smoking, and when he
desires to smoke. He must strive to write them down while he is in
these states; otherwise, it will not be accurate. One moment he may
swear never to smoke again, but a minute later, he may imagine the
pleasure of smoking and may even have already proceeded to light
up. Just imagine the sequence of impressions during that one
minute. If he delays for a few seconds, he is actually writing down
the reactions of the impressions he wishes to write down. Still, if the
interval is short, the impressions are still useful. Before smoking, he
may have desirable impressions of smoking, but after, or even
during, smoking, he may be regretting it.
It is also useful to read some available fact about smoking
while he is in these states in order to study his reactions. If he can
stand back and detach himself to a certain extent, he may even
amuse and enjoy himself. One moment he agrees and believes in the
fact, the next moment he may find it absurd. In addition, he will
witness a host of contradictory, distorted and exaggerated reactions.
THIRD: he strives to smoke under circumstances he normally
will not smoke and refrain from smoking under circumstances he
normally smokes. Then he can study how and how much circumstances control his smoking.
FOURTH:

he strives to smoke five or twenty cigarettes under


circumstances where he normally smokes ten. That is, he reduces by
half, or increases by twice, the number of cigarettes he used to
smoke. Then he can study the rigidity of the cigarette-self.
Even if the man has only experimented with Technique Two
for a few days, he will find out quite a lot about the behavior of the
cigarette-self and the personality as a whole. If he decides to
practice the formal method, the understanding from this experience
will assist him to deal with other selves. By the way, if he had
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voluntarily striven to neutralize a habit or engage in a new activity


before, he would already have some realization of what Technique
Two is designed to help him realize. Even if he did not, life itself
would have taught him somewhat.

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20
INDICATION
OF
READINESS

Utter Disgust
When the man begins to realize from study, observation and
experience that no matter what he does and achieves, at best, it only
offers him momentary relief. In short, he is beginning to recognize
the truth of Buddhas teaching: desire can only be satisfied for a
moment, quickly followed by unease and irritation, which can never
be allayed; moreover, if it is not satisfied, he often becomes
sorrowful, frustrated and angry. As long as he clings to the
impressions, conflict and tension are inevitable.
In An Intimate History of Humanity, Theodore Zeldin
wonderfully illustrates this truth, substantiating that people
everywhere, at all times, under all circumstances, and regardless of
their positions in life, were and are faced with conflict, fear and
aimlessness. Further, though they have striven in all imaginable
ways to escape from conflict, fear and aimlessness, none has
succeeded.
To Be or Not to Be
If the man considers it better to die than to go on living as
usual, if he is utterly disgusted with his usual way of life, spent in
striving to satisfy his endless desires and experiencing the
impossibility of doing so for more than a moment, then he is ready
to tread the way. Of course, he can kill himself unless he realizes
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that doing so may not end his suffering but may even increase it.
After all, spiritual teachings claim that he is immortal, hence the
possibility of eternal suffering. They, however, also claim that
inconceivable eternal bliss exists and is attainable.
What are the risk and benefit of treading the way? If the claims
are false, he has wasted some years of strenuous struggle. If the
claims are true, what then? The benefit outweighs the risk by more
than a trillion to one. (Which true-blue gambler can pass up such
odds, such stake?) It does not mean that he will experience eternal
bliss after some years of struggle, but he will probably have enough
experiential realization, corresponding to the amount of struggle, to
convince him of the truth of spiritual teachings.
Gargantuan Dilemma
When the man is ready, it means the personality has already
weakened significantly. The soul is beginning to show itself; for
example, he may sincerely be interested in spiritual teachings. The
selves are already willing and desiring to die. They desire to die to
escape the endless conflict and tension, but are afraid to die because
it entails the need to go through more intense, unfamiliar conflict
and tension. After a lifetime of aversion to pain, the selves
automatically rebel.
The man is in a terrible bind. He finds no comfort in the selves,
yet he cannot get rid of them. One moment he desires to destroy
them; the next moment he clings to them. He is like a man who has
tightly grasped a piece of sharp glass for a lifetime for fear of losing
it. Further, he used to brag about its sharpness and the number of
gallons of blood he had bled. So now, even though he realizes his
colossal foolishness, he cannot let go because his fingers have
rigidly stiffened around it. Hence, the slightest attempt to straighten
even the little finger causes pain. Whats more, this attempt
invariably reacts by causing the little finger to stiffen around the
glass even tighter, thus discouraging him from further attempts.
Moreover, he has become so used to the glass that he still fears
losing it. Naturally, he is in a terrible bind.
Until he has decided to abandon all reservations and strive
single-mindedly to tread the way, he can stay in this wavering state
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for a long time, ending his days in anguish, bitterness, frustration,


remorse and self-hatred. To tread the way, a warrior-self must be
created to assist and compel the selves to die. When the warrior-self
is created, the dark night of the personality begins.

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21
WARRIOR-SELF

Attributes and Task of the Warrior-Self


The warrior-self resembles John the Baptist. When John was still a
child, he already lived an austere life in the desert, preparing himself
for his mission. He had only one aim: to be the forerunner and
prepare the way for Jesus. Likewise, the warrior-self must have only
one aim: to be the forerunner and prepare the way for the soul.
Though among those born of women, there is no one greater
than John, he was not even fit enough to remove Jesuss sandals.
The warrior-self must be more strong and skillful than all the other
selves, but it is not the soul and can never be the soul. The warriorself is created within the personality; therefore, it is force and form,
but the soul is energy and formless. Hence, it is impossible to cling
to the soul, but it can be experienced. No self, no matter how
exalted is its name, can be the soul while it lives; if it dies, then it
can become part of the soul.
Just as John must gradually decrease to allow Jesus to increase,
the warrior-self must also gradually decrease to allow the soul to
increase. Therefore, the warrior-self aims to neutralize all the other
selves while neutralizing itself in the process until the entire
personality is neutralized.
To fulfill its mission, the warrior-self must constantly strive to
avoid pleasure and to face pain. If the man does not intentionally
cling to conflict and tension, then the warrior-self is inactive,
dormant. To strengthen itself in order to neutralize the other selves,
it must strive to face increasing pain for a longer duration. There is
no rest until the personality is neutralized whereby the warrior-self
is also neutralized, that is, rest is only available in death.
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Beware of Perversion
The man must strive unsparingly to avoid the immense
temptation to convert the warrior-self into a soul-self, a god-self or a
Buddha-self, because except for the warrior-self, the sole aim of all
other selves is to cling to pleasure and to avoid pain.
If the warrior-self perverts into an ordinary self, say, a god-self,
the man avoids the lengthy and arduous struggle to neutralize the
personality. He also deceives himself into believing that he has
found god, peace and joy. If he perverts the god-self further by
transferring the desires of the other selves into this perverted godself, he has unfailingly put himself into a worse stategreater and
deeper conflict, contradiction and hypocrisy. He can now indulge in
his desires with blessings from god, instead of guilt. If he is full of
burning rage and hatred, he can now destroy and murder while
believing that it is pleasing to god.
The warrior-self can only have impressions of the soulsense
impressions of a statue, thought impressions as images, ideas and
concepts. They are all symbols of the soul, created to suit a
particular time; at best, they are indications and signs pointing to the
soul. Nonetheless, the warrior-self needs these symbols to guide
him. The descriptions of the soul in this book are also symbols,
created to suit the present time, nothing more.
From Personality to Soul
An illustration: Jesuss disciples had gigantic warrior-selves,
created by numerous, strong impressions of Jesus. When Jesus was
with them, their gigantic warrior-selves even prompted them to
discuss among themselves as to whom was the greatest; it even gave
Peter the gigantic boldness of cutting off the ear of the High Priests
slave. Nevertheless, after Jesus was arrested, the disciples turned tail
and scattered; and Peter even trembled before a mere slave-girl.
Within a few hours, his gigantic boldness had shrunk into nothing.
No matter how gigantic any self is, it is inherently weak, completely
dependent on external circumstances; it cannot stand on its own.
Just before Jesus was arrested, he spoke of giving peace to the
disciples, not as the world gives, and of a joy made full. More
important, he mentioned that it was to their advantage that he left,
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for otherwise the spirit of truth could not come, that is, the soul
could not appear. After the disciples had gone through the terrible
conflict and tension from the loss of their warrior-selves, their souls
appeared because their warrior-selves had already neutralized most
of the other selves previously. Another way of describing itthey
were empty enough to receive the spirit of truth.
Then and only then, the disciples experienced genuine peace,
joy and confidence, independent of impressions and circumstances.
They also received the necessary power and knowledge to carry out
their missionsthe missions of their souls. Yes, the soul also has an
aim, but its aim appears only after the personality has been
neutralized.

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22
SOUL
REALIZATION

To realize the soul, the man must strive to perceive the impressions,
free himself from their control, and master them. He can master
them by neutralizing their forces, which will then be transformed
into energy and awareness.
To acquire mastery, obedience is necessary. Mastery of the air
and the freedom to fly imply obedience to the laws of aerodynamics. Of course, these laws must first be discovered through
investigation, experimentation and verification. Similarly, the laws
of the impressions, selves, personality and soul must be investigated, experimented and verified and then obeyed. As a result,
expansion of awareness, freedom, mastery and obedience are
inseparable.
The law of oneness stands above and encompasses all other
laws. There is no inherent difference between different impressions.
All impressions arise from undifferentiated energy, from the same
source, the soul. It is only from utter ignorance, foolishness and
delusion that the impressions, fortifying into a self, can believe that
they can separate themselves from the source and exist
independently, apart from the soul. They are always within the soul,
which is always whole, never divided or fragmented. (The soul is
divided into attributes and selves in order to talk about it.) Because
all impressions are inherently undifferentiated energy and always
within the soul, the entire struggle is to treat all impressions with
equanimity, for they are all equally part of the soul.

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Freedom and Choice


Freedom is often loosely conceived as the ability to do
whatever the man likes to do; it is often associated with having
plenty of choices. An example, if he has the choice to choose a dish
out of ten different dishes, but he only likes one dish and dislikes all
the other dishes, does he then has a choice? Preferentially, no;
factually, yes. If he likes two dishes, then he has a preferential
choice, and this choice leads to conflict. In the absence of
preference, choice and conflict disappear. Even then, this is not true
absence of preference, choice or conflict.
The normal man does not like or dislike any of the dishes. This
then allows him to choose the dish that is the most appropriate for
the body under the circumstances. In order to choose the most
appropriate dish, sound discrimination is needed. He must be able to
perceive each dish distinctly and know how it will affect the body.
The normal man has no choice because he always acts in the
most harmonious manner. True freedom is actually the freedom to
act in the most harmonious manner. Hence, true freedom, the
capability to obey the laws of the soul, runs parallel with true
obedience. The freedom to choose the most appropriate dish can
only exist in the true absence of preference, that is, discrimination
and equanimity are inseparable.
Discrimination and Equanimity
An example: none of the tools in a toolbox has any intrinsic
value. A ten-dollar hammer is not a hundred times more valuable
than a ten-cent nail at all times. If that nail happens to save the
mans life, then it becomes priceless, but it is priceless only at that
particular moment when his life depends on it. Before and after that
moment, it is of equal value to any other tools. The value of the
tools solely depends on their ability to handle the situation at hand
at that particular moment.
Just because the nail had saved his life before, it will be utterly
foolish to value it above all the other tools, to attempt to use it in all
situations, or, at any rate, in situations that bear only a slight
resemblance to the previous situation, and in the same way while
ignoring all the other tools. This is how the personality behaves; this
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is why the mans life is filled with conflict, contradiction,


foolishness and absurdity.
Discrimination without equanimity results in endless conflict
and contradiction. Equanimity without discrimination results in
foolish and absurd behavior. It can lead the man to feed on
excrement. Nevertheless, the man of sound discrimination will look
for excrement, not gold, when he wishes to feed his plants.
The normal man treats all the tools equally; therefore, all the
tools are available. He knows how to discriminate between the
tools; therefore, he knows how to select the most appropriate tools
for the situation at hand. This does not imply that two different
normal men have the same capabilities. The capability of a normal
man is limited by the experiences and skills he has acquired. One
normal man can be a master of the pen whereas another can be an
illiterate. It implies that he is capable of making the best use of
everything he has acquired.
Indifference and Equanimity
Indifference appears to be synonymous with equanimity, but
they are actually diametrically opposite. Contraction, exclusion and
separation, that is, the shutting out of impressions and stimuli, lead
to indifference. Expansion, inclusion and wholeness, that is,
openness to all impressions and stimuli, lead to equanimity.
Indifference is caused by preoccupation, absorption or
concentration on a small areathe familiar and known; thus, the
rest of the area is ignored and unobserved. When external circumstances change, this small area becomes smaller. Observation
contracts and excludes itself from more area; thus, more impressions and stimuli are separated from observation. The man appears
to be unaffected by them, but actually he is continually affected by
them though unobserved, because his reactions have already
become permanent. The refusal to experience and observe his fears,
particularly his immense fear of the unknown, compels him to
concentrate on the known, resulting in more conflict.
When the man is indifferent to many of the events and
activities of the world, it may mean that he has given up and simply
let the momentum of his habits takes over, that is, he always
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chooses the line of least resistance. He does not even consider


killing himself, for that will mean struggling against resistance. He
begins to experience less and less. Events and activities appear to
disturb him less and less, that is, he excludes and separates himself
from the world more and more. If he has a god-self, he may increase
his attention on it, seeking solace and consolation from it.
Consequently, he is increasingly absorbed.
On the other hand, it may mean that he is increasingly absorbed
in seeking the meaning of life and a way out of his unbearable
situation. Further, if he is at stage one of the way, he is striving to be
indifferent to the pull and push of the innumerable desires and fears
by anchoring his observation on a selected object.
Because awareness only appears in stage two of the way,
equanimity can only be practiced then. When the man is willing to
face his fears, he expands his observation to include more area.
Hence, more impressions and stimuli fall under his observation until
eventually all the impressions are neutralized. Then conflict and
tension will disappear.

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23
THREE STAGES
OF
THE WAY

The process of neutralizing the personality is divided into three


stages: first, the creation of the warrior-self and its growth into
maturity; second, the appearance of the baby soul and its growth
into maturity; third, the complete neutralization of the personality
and maturity of the soul. These stages are not straightforward. There
are innumerable fluctuations between the personality and the soul.
For instance, the soul does not just appear and grow steadily bigger.
It appears and disappears; its size and the duration of its appearance
fluctuate, depending on inner conditions and external circumstances.
But why will anyone tread the way?
Stable Circumstances
When the personality is stable and rigid, and external circumstances are stable enough to allow the man to carry out his routine
daily activities, he experiences little conflict. Though he only
experiences a small part of himself at any particular time, he still
experiences himself as one because his attention is totally absorbed
by the active self of the moment. Hence, he is the active self of the
moment.
The man is like the captain of a ship, set adrift in the middle of
an ocean, without any point of reference. Having no reference point,
he can choose to believe whatever he desires to believe. Though the
waves and winds push the ship erratically, back and forth, in circles,
he believes he is steering it in the desired direction. Though the ship
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may be heading toward disaster, he believes he is steering it toward


safety.
Unstable Circumstances
If external circumstances are changed, the personality becomes
unstable, so the man experiences conflict and tension. Then he
strives to remove them by changing the circumstances back to the
previous state, by changing his habit, or by denying the change and
continuing to behave as if there is no change. After an endless series
of changes in circumstances, the man begins to realize the instability
and danger of anchoring himself to external circumstances. Hence,
he becomes confused, uncertain and anxious. It is as if the sea has
become violent, hence, the captain becomes confused, uncertain and
anxious.
Transience Everywhere
There is not a single permanent situation externally; therefore,
the man cannot permanently anchor himself to anything or use
anything as a permanent reference point. In fact, there is not even a
single permanently fixed point in the entire universe. Nonetheless,
he will react by seeking for something permanent within the
personality, but will eventually realize that there is also nothing
permanent within it, not even the god-self is permanent. The godself is sustained by circumstances. In fact, the entire personality is
sustained by external circumstances.
Moreover, the man is increasingly compelled to face transience. Ready or not, external circumstances are increasingly
compelling him to handle more conflict and tension. In short,
circumstances are increasingly propelling him toward the way. In
Future Shock, Alvin Toffler writes:
To survive, to avert what we have termed future shock, the
individual must become infinitely more adaptable and
capable than ever before. He must search out totally new
ways to anchor himself, for all the old rootsreligion,
nation, community, family, or professionare now
shaking under the hurricane impact of the accelerative
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thrust. Before he can do so, however, he must understand


in greater detail how the effects of acceleration penetrate
his personal life, creep into his behavior and alter the
quality of existence. He must, in other words, understand
transience.
In addition, the 1972 Nobel Prize winners in physics and
chemistry said that the study of mans consciousness is the new
frontier. When the soul is beginning to make its presence felt,
though only in flashes because it is still in embryo, then the man
begins to realize that the only way to permanently remove conflict
and tension is to neutralize the personality.

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24
STAGE ONE
OF
THE WAY

Birth and Growth of the Warrior-Self


The first stage begins when the man realizes the need to create the
warrior-self. The warrior-self is analogous to the dropping of an
anchor. It enables the captain to realize that he is not in control of
the ship, that the waves are controlling it, because the anchor acts as
the reference point. It also enables him to study the manner and
direction of the waves. Therefore, when the warrior-self is created,
the man can begin to notice that he has no control over himself, that
he is controlled by the active self of the moment, that one moment
one self pushes him to the right, but the next moment another
pushes him to the left.
The size of the warrior-self corresponds to the size of the
anchor. If the anchor is small, it can hardly anchor the ship. Likewise, a small warrior-self can hardly anchor its observation to use it
as a reference point. It can only become strong at the expense of
other selves; therefore, it must rob the forces of the other selves
thereby weakening them at the same time. Initially, it is like trying
to oppose a herd of stampeding elephants; therefore, he must be
willing to be repeatedly crushed.
Another analogy: Assume that each self is a country and the
warrior-country is a small, new country, but it decides to achieve the
impossible: conquer the entire world. It has no intention to rule the
world; instead, it wishes to prepare the way to enable a wise ruler to
govern the world harmoniously. When the warrior-country is small
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and weak, it must be shrewd. It must diligently watch and study


other countries, ruthlessly taking advantage of their weaknesses,
especially their propensity to fight with one another. When the
warrior-country grows in strength and skill, and after conquering
more and more countries, the war will culminate into a full-scale
world war whereby only two opposing sides remain, such as the
Allies and Axis of World War Two. Then the deciding war,
involving all countries, is fought.
Deciding War
When this happens within the personality, it becomes chaotic.
The man can go out of control, convinced that he is going insane.
He does not know what is right or wrong, what is good or bad, what
is white or black, and whether he is coming or going. Hence, he
must be well prepared for this war. Sound physical and psychological health is necessary.
Here he must single-mindedly strive to stand steadfastly and be
in control enough to take care of the body. He must ruthlessly stick
to his daily practices and activities, without running away, no matter
what impressions assail him: impending doom or death, permanent
injury, insanity, unending increasing conflict and tension, uselessness and meaninglessness of the entire struggle. He must go through
these impressions and experience their reactions and effects, though
they will intensely affect him, physically and psychologically.
If he persists in the struggle, the day will come when the sun
breaks through the cloud. He will have to experience countless
agonizing failures before arriving at this point. Success can only
come from the strength and skill acquired from innumerable
experiments, trials, mistakes and failuresthere is no other way.
Gaining the Upper Hand
This point begins when flashes of strange peace, joy and clarity
punctuate the struggle. He could be struggling for hours, and then
suddenly the conflict and tension disappear, replaced by this strange
state for a few seconds. Then it is gone just as suddenly and
replaced by conflict and tension again. These flashes will increase in

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frequency and duration; therefore, the fluctuations will increase


rapidly.
If the man does not find his condition comical, he cannot
survive the way. In fact, one reliable indication of his progress is a
growing sense of humor. How can he survive if he is unable to
laugh at the absurdity, foolishness and contradiction of the
personality, which he will observe with increasing clarity as he
progresses? For example, one moment he is in deep anguish, the
next moment he is roaring with laughter. One moment he hates his
beloved wife, the next moment he loves his enemy. At this point,
the warrior-self begins to gain the upper hand; if the man runs away
now, he deserves to hang himself.
Sudden Breakthrough
If he continues to persist, he will experience a sudden breakthrough whereby many selves simply give up fighting en masse. It
is as if the armies of the other countries have decided to withdraw
en masse. Therefore, the army of the warrior-country can now roam
quite freely though it had to struggle strenuously to advance even an
inch before.
The selves are unable to endure the lengthy and intense conflict
with the warrior-self because the warrior-self is different. It is
trained to face conflict and does not compromise, but the other
selves are always striving to avoid conflict and always compromising. Previously, the pain of getting what they desire is less than
the pain of deprivation, but now the pain of getting is much more.
Here, a significant amount of energy remains as energy;
therefore, a soul of significant size appears. The personality
becomes significantly smaller. The man experiences a corresponding amount of peace, joy and confidence. He also experiences a
corresponding amount of mastery, liberation and awareness. Now
he perceives the world in a new way, as it is, clear and lucid.
Now he can do many things easily though previously difficult.
For example, he can direct his awareness toward any object or act in
an unusual way for a long time quite effortlessly, whereas
previously he found it difficult to direct his observation toward any
object or act in an unusual way for more than a few seconds.
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When awareness appears, an higher attention also appears. The


higher attention is the blending of awareness and attention. Attention has a fixed direction, that is, it only notices its impression. The
higher attention can change its direction and observe several of the
impressions simultaneously. The higher attention is like the torchlight. When the soul is small, it only shines dimly on a small area.
When the soul is whole, then it shines brightly in all directions at
the same time, like the sun.
Now the man can quite clearly recognize his state of duality
and the difference between the personality and the soul. What
appears to be contradictory and absurd in spiritual teachings is now
quite clearly understood. He realizes that the personality must die;
otherwise, the soul cannot live.
Nothing Lasts Forever
This wonderful and illuminating state can last for a few hours
to a few days to several weeksbut not forever. Its duration
depends on the continuity and intensity of the struggle. If the man
indulges in this state and ceases to struggle, it will disappear
because the personality will eventually become as strong as before,
returning him back to square one.
To prevent this from happening, he must not relax the struggle.
He must ruthlessly strive to neutralize the remaining selves and use
this opportunity to set up as many anchors as possible. Technique
One, previously used for verification, can now be used to set up
these anchors. That is, he must make use of his everyday activities
to practice observation training throughout the day because the
selves will definitely regroup and fight back later. (It is like setting
up outposts in other countries to neutralize further rebellion.)
Thus, no matter how hard he continues to struggle, this state
will still disappear, and the personality will become strong again,
but with a crucial differenceit will be significantly weaker than
before.

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25
STAGE TWO
OF
THE WAY

Intermittent and Brief Soul Appearances


After a few days, the man may only experience this state for only a
few minutes a few times a day even though he had struggled
strenuously. He, however, will experience a surge of confidence
because the warrior-self has decisively overcome the other selves.
And he knows that as long as he continues to struggle hard, he will
eventually neutralize them permanently, but he must never become
complacent because it is still very far away.
Now the ship captain can perceive the guiding star, the true and
permanent reference point, for a few minutes a few times a night
and can steer the ship in the right direction then. Further, the rest of
the time he will not be as blind as before because he can frequently
glimpse the star throughout the night.
Duality
For a few minutes a few times a day, the man is dualpart
personality and part perceiver, or part personality and part soul.
Initially the warrior-self strives to nurture the baby soul. As the soul
gets bigger, it can more effectively assist the warrior-self because
the man can increasingly perceive the movement, type and content
of the impressions. At this stage, the soul is like Sri Krishna, and the
warrior-self is like Arjuna. Like Sri Krishna, the soul guides and

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advises only. Like Arjuna, the warrior-self must do all the fighting.
Consequently, progress will increase more rapidly.
At this stage, the man will often find himself in a comical and
hilarious situation, but different from the cases in stage one. For
instance, the personality may be indulging in anguish, but the soul
perceives these impressions impartially, unmoved. In short, he
experiences anguish, peace and joy simultaneously, whereas they
alternate in stage one.
Unfamiliar Reactions
Because the overall amount of tension within the personality
has decreased, the muscular tension has also decreased correspondingly. As the personality gets smaller and the soul gets bigger,
the man will increasingly experience unfamiliar physical and
psychological reactions. Physically, the muscular spasms, contraction and elongation, increase in intensity. Further, involuntary
movementsranging from muscle twitching to prolonged, intense,
twisting movements of the hips, chest and neck to prolonged, whole
body shakingare common. These are simply the reactions of the
muscles as they struggle to loosen. Spiritual practice has direct
impact on the nervous system; otherwise, harmonious control of the
body is impossible.
Energies of Transformation by Bonnie Greenwell contains a
comprehensive list of these physical and psychological reactions.
This book is also useful for the man who is just beginning to tread
the way. It helps him to prepare himself.
REGARD WITHOUT REGARDING

It is crucial to regard Greenwells list of reactions seriously and


lightly at the same time. Is it possible to be both simultaneously? It
is possible if the man has already realized the vanity and hollowness
of all his desires and has already experienced much conflict and
tension, then he is able to look upon this list of reactions quite
impartially. As he progresses, he will inevitably experience
increased variety and intensity of pleasant and unpleasant reactions,
many of which are unfamiliar to him.

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These reactions do not denote spirituality. They denote his


abnormality. The more abnormal he is, the more he will experience
these reactions because they are merely attempts to remove his
abnormality. The moment his abnormality is removed, they will be
gone. Hence, he must not use these reactions to measure his
progress. He can measure his progress by his ability to remain
calmer, less easily irritated and offended by everybody and
everything.
BE SERIOUS

He must take this list seriously, because if he does not


recognize his experiences as reactions, it can easily lead to drastic
adverse consequences. For instance, he may experience an apparent
heart attack. And if he does not recognize it as part of the process,
then he will be assailed by much unnecessary anxiety and fear.
Anyway, these reactions rarely appear full-blown, but they
may. In most cases, they increase slowly and gradually, bit by bit. In
most cases, when they become unbearable, they can be controlled
and reduced by decreasing the intensity of the practice. Even so, he
must learn to prepare for the worst. If the man had done much
needed work in his past lives, then he may experience a spontaneous
awakening and therefore these reactions full-blown.
BE LIGHT

If the man cannot take this list lightly, that is, if it evokes
intense desire or fear, then he must forget about treading the way for
at least a few years. There is no point in making his condition
worse. The sole aim of the way is to strive to treat everything with
equanimity. If he stubbornly persists, then this intense desire or fear
will inevitably delude him further and cause much drastic adverse
consequences.
An illustration: In an experiment, Harriet Linton and Robert
Langs gave each subject a placebo, but told the subject that it was
LSD. Half an hour later, the subjects began to behave as if they had
swallowed LSD. Their reactions lasted for several hours. If the mere
thought of taking LSD could evoke such drastic reactions, imagine
what will happen if this thought is boosted by intense desire or fear.
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The subjects reactions were simply the pushing down of their


feeling and thought impressions into the movement and sense
impressions, and then expended into the body.
Placebo effects have been extensively studied worldwide and
have been proven effective in numerous physical and psychological
conditions. In general, they are merely delusion and reaction. True,
if a man strongly believes that the placebo he is taking will remove
cancerous tumor, then his tumor may indeed disappear. Still, it is
only delusion and reaction. It simply proves the immense power of
his feeling and thought impressions over his body. The way aims to
acquire control of this immense power.
In short, please learn to regard without regarding, believe
without believing, be prepared and adopt a wait-and-see attitude. An
example, if the man is informed that there is a man-eating tiger in a
jungle, but did not bring a gun along because of disbelief, imagine
what will happen if it is true. On the other hand, if he believes and
brings a gun along, but is filled with intense fear and sees the tiger
everywhere, can he protect himself in such a nervous and shaky
state? Further, if he goes into the jungle to look for a precious
flower, can he see the tiger if his desire to find the flower is so
intense that he is absorbed in looking for it? The best chance to
survive and succeed is to be calm and watchful, bold but cautious.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

An account of a couple of experiences: Once when the author


woke up at 4:00 a.m. to practice, he found that his abdomen has
distended, significantly tense and uncomfortable, so he decided not
to practice. By 8:00 a.m., the abdomen had distended even more and
had become unbearable, so he went to the toilet and pushed until his
anus bled, but to no avail. Finally, out of desperation, he did a few
minutes of forward and backward bends (paschimothanasana and
supta vajrasana). After that, excrement and gas came out freely.
Obviously, the anal muscles had contracted and refused to loosen.
Ah, the wonders of yogic practice! Two days later, he excreted a
bowl of green excrement twice. No, it was not the remains of
vegetables; the excrement was entirely green with patches of dark
green.
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The author mentioned the latter because he has not come across
it anywhere. Well, Greenwells list is comprehensive but not
complete. And though she mentioned the appearance of false
pregnancy, she did not mention how to remove it. Despite that, it is
a very useful book.
Concomitant Effects
Insights, the experiencing of various unfamiliar impressions
and the corresponding changes to the body are concomitant, or they
follow one another closely. Body therapists and psychotherapists are
familiar with this phenomenon. When clients, who may have
suffered psychological problems for years and decades, are willing
to face their problems squarely, that is, when they are willing to face
the fearful, conflicting impressions, they often experience reduction
of the muscular tension and receive insights into their problems,
insights that have eluded them for years and decades.
In fact, if the man is willing to cling to his doubt, uncertainty
and confusion, that is, if he is willing to endure the pain and tension
of his inner conflict, he will invariably resolve and receive insight
into his problem. As one spiritual master says, Small doubt, small
enlightenment; big doubt, big enlightenment.
Regarding personal problem, in most cases, it is not that he has
found the solution, but that the problem simply ceases to be a
problem as if it was never a problem. For example, the perennial
dilemma: the man is condemned if he did; he is also condemned if
he did not. Suppose he had squarely faced the fear and consequences of being condemned until they do not disturb him anymore,
then the dilemma simply ceases to be a problem, then whether he is
condemned or not is no longer a factor.
Often the insight appears so obvious that he kicks himself for
not observing it in the first place. Be forewarnedthis phenomenon
happens frequently in stage two of the way. But if he did not
directly face the inner conflict, he still will not be able to observe it
even after a century. How can he observe it if his attention is always
lost in a particular area of the situation, but missing the rest, missing
the area that is germane to the whole situation? The problem is
solved when the conflicting impressions have neutralized one
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another. Then he observes the whole situation without distortion,


impartially and clearly. The insight itself does not solve the
problem; it is merely an effect.
By the way, regarding Einsteins theory of relativity, it was
reported that its principles were revealed to him from the kinesthetic
sensations of his muscles. Were his muscles responsible for his
genius? Einstein was willing to face numerous contradictions,
seeming or otherwise, for many years while he pondered on the
nature of time, space, light, motion and so on, which eventually lead
to his discovery. Even so, it was only an effect.
When Zen master Shunryu Suzuki said that time and space are
one and that everything comes from nothing, he knew them to be
true beyond doubt because he could experience and perceive them at
will. But he could not formulate them theoretically because he
lacked the relevant concepts to do so. His task was to guide his
disciples to experience them for themselves. Einsteins task was to
prepare the man to tread the way. Even Einstein himself probably
succeeded in formulating only a fraction of his realization and
discovery.
Man Reaps What He Sows
At this stage, the man can increasingly perceive that he
definitely reaps what he sows, that is, he can perceive the action and
reaction, the cause and effect, of the personality directly. In fact, he
often reaps more than he sows. For instance, if he mentally criticizes
his wife, he perceives that the personality reacts almost instantly by
criticizing itself and often more viciously. He also becomes afraid of
criticism. And if criticized, he is offended and upset.
The adverse consequences are compounded if he criticizes her
outwardly. Besides the conflict between them, his wife becomes
more inclined to criticize their children, and their children become
more inclined to criticize one another, also their cat and dog. This
adverse ripple effect, one way or another, bounces back to him.
As he advances, he can perceive the inner conditions and
external circumstances with increasing clarity; hence, his responsibility increases correspondingly. More important, he begins to
realize that the adverse consequences of all his past malevolent acts
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do not disappear with time. As long as he had not faced and


neutralized them, the adverse consequences constantly plague him.
SENSE OF PROPORTION

As a result, the perception and realization of the adverse


consequences will propel him to struggle harder, but it can also
become unbearably oppressive. To counter this oppression, he must
acquire a correct sense of proportion. First, he must realize that he is
only a drop in an ocean. Hence, no matter what he had done, no
matter how seemingly terrible or evil, in terms of the whole, he has
done nothing and can do nothing. Second, he must realize that
nothing is irreversible or permanent. Previously his gargantuan selfimportance deluded him into believing that the results of his actions
were permanent; now his self-importance may delude him into
believing that the results of his evil actions are permanent. Third, he
must realize that he has an eternity to neutralize them.
But even though he is at stage two of the way, his realization
regarding these truths is still weak. Hence, he must rely on faith, but
if his faith is also weak, then he must strive to keep on struggling
without any expectations. In fact, the greatest challenge and difficulty pervading the way is to acquire the willingness to suffer
without any expectations whatsoever.
Mother Teresa says, What we are doing is just a drop in the
ocean. But if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would
be less because of that missing drop. The man is only a drop but an
indispensable drop. Hence, the most important thing is to keep
neutralizing the adverse consequences steadily, bit by bit, without
slacking of, without overstraining himself, without caring how long
it is going to take.
Nevertheless, the oppression can be used to advantage because
he can avoid the oppression by concentrating, that is, he allows it to
compel him to concentrate, on the struggle of the moment. Then the
realization that he is now actively struggling to neutralize the
adverse consequences will remove the oppression, which will be
replaced by an increasing impression of well-being.

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Toward the End


When the warrior-self was small, it attempted to wear down the
other selves. Now the role is increasingly reverse, and the other
selves will strive to wear down the warrior-self through guerrilla
warfare. As the man progresses, the selves get increasingly sneaky
and subtle, compelled to be that way to survive. Consequently, the
use of crude force decreases, increasingly replaced by vigilance,
patience, persistence and skill. The practice of discrimination and
equanimity increases in depth and subtlety. The razors edge gets
sharper.
Toward the end of the second stage, it will be like trying to
keep a smooth marble at the center of a smooth piece of glass while
the man holds on to its edges as he walks. At this point, the
movement, sense and feeling impressions are considerably weakened; even the feeling impressions that connect one thought
impression to another thought impression are considerably weakened.
Thought impressions are like grasses. They are weak but
extremely difficult to uproot. The slightest wind can bend them, but
even a strong wind that continuously blows for many hours can only
uproot a few grasses. And the moment it stops blowing, they rise up
again. As long as thought impressions are not uprooted, the other
three types of impressions can still become strong again.
Hence, if the man lets down his guard even for a brief moment
now and then, he can find himself faced with a strong self. For
example, if he has managed to abstain from smoking the right way
for five years after having smoked twenty cigarettes a day for a
decade, he will still have a mild desire or a strong thought to smoke
occasionally. If he indulges in it, a few months or even a few weeks
later, he may find himself smoking twenty cigarettes a day.

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26
STAGE THREE
OF
THE WAY

Below are the fruits of the mans struggle. The moment he is at


stage two, he is already reaping these fruits, but they become fullblown at stage three. Here the personality is completely neutralized;
the body is normal, and the soul is whole.
Regarding this stage, in Esoteric Psychology II, available on
the Web (World Wide Web), Alice Bailey and Djwhal Khul write:
1) The free use of the mind so that focused attention can
be paid to all that concerns the personal self and its
aims. This spells personality success and prosperity.
2) The power to control the emotions and yet have the
full use of the sensory apparatus to sense conditions,
to feel reactions, and to bring about contact with the
emotional aspects of other personalities.
3) The capacity to touch the plane of ideas and to bring
them through into consciousness. Even if these are
later subordinated to selfish purpose and interpretation, the man can, however, be in touch with that
which can be spiritually cognized. The free use of the
mind presupposes its growing sensitivity to intuitional
impression.
4) The demonstration of many talents, powers and the
working out of genius, and the emphatic bending of
the whole personality to the expression of some one of
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these powers. There is often an extreme versatility and


an ability to do many outstanding things noticeably
well.
5) The physical man is frequently a wonderfully sensitive instrument of the inner, emotional and mental
selves, and gifted with great magnetic power; there is
often resilient, though never robust, bodily health, and
great charm and personal outer gifts.
Additional Dimension of Perception
The normal man can be said to have acquired an additional
dimension of perception. Spiritual teachings often appear absurd
and contradictory because the abnormal man is absurd and contradictory. For instance, how can a three-dimensional man describe a
house that a two-dimensional man can understand? If he uses words
such as front and back, they will appear gibberish to the twodimensional man. If he shows a photograph of the front of the house
and another photograph of the back of the house to the twodimensional man and states that they are the same house; in short,
the front is the back. Wont it appear absurd and contradictory to the
two-dimensional man? What about the statementto die is to live?
Synthetic Perception
The normal man may not have any conceptual knowledge of a
house. He may not even know that the word house refers to the seen
object. Nevertheless, he sees the entire house distinctly; therefore,
no analysis or reasoning is needed. The abnormal man can only
vaguely see a small part of the house at any one time; therefore, he
is compelled to fragment it into a hundred pieces, calling one part a
door, another part a window, and so on. He then proceeds to analyze
them and often succeeds in burying himself deeper.
Liberation from the Past
Without desire and fear, there is no denial, avoidance, distortion, or exaggeration; therefore, memory of past experiences is
perceived clearly and accurately. The normal man is not affected or
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bound by his past experiences. He perceives his past experiences,


say, with his wife, as an abstract and synthetic thought. This ability
and his accurate present perception enable him to respond
appropriately and impeccably.
Encompassing Awareness
The normal man can listen to music, tap one hand and foot to
the rhythm of the music, talk and think, and still drive better and
safer than the abnormal man who only drives. He is able to do this
owing to the gigantic amount of free attention at his disposal. In
other words, his awareness encompasses and controls these
activities simultaneously.
Intelligence and Vulnerability
A one-year-old child is ignorant whereas a normal man is
intelligent. For example, if John goes stealthily into Peters house to
take something, Peter will react by accusing John of theft. A oneyear-old child, however, will not have any such reaction. He has not
yet associated Johns action to the word theft, as bad and wrong.
Further, the habitual reaction to curse and fume is not yet in place.
Like the child, the normal man also does not react. He sees what the
child sees, but he also knows how society looks upon such
activities, whereas the child does not. Based on this information and
other relevant information, he responds appropriately and impeccably to the situation.
In addition, the child is ignorantly vulnerable and will
eventually become defensive. The normal man is intelligently
vulnerable and has already acquired the strength and skill to
neutralize assaults. In short, a child has much awareness. A normal
man has many formless impressions. An abnormal man has brimful
of non-formless impressions.
SUMMARY OF THE STAGES

Before the man treads the way, he experiences himself as one


though he is manylegion. At stage one of the way, he experiences
himself as many because the personality has loosened somewhat;
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the soul is in embryo and appears in flashes. Gurdjieff says,


Blessed is he who has a soul, blessed is he who has none, but woe
and grief to him who has it in embryo. At stage two, he experiences himself as dualpart personality and part soul. Finally, at
stage three, he experiences himself as one again, this timetruly
one.
At stage one, the man is striving to make a complete turnaround; it is the most difficult stage. At stage two, he has already
succeeded in turning around; he must then strive to build up and
keep increasing the momentum.

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27
DIFFICULTY
OF
THE WAY

The way is an extremely difficult one. Jobs sufferings are often


mentioned to epitomize his status as a man of God. Even right now,
millions are in worse physical states than he was. Are they more
spiritual than he then? Job became poor, his body was covered with
sore boils, and he was falsely accused by his wife and friends. Even
so, these are only preliminary difficulties of the way.
Anyway, these conditions did not really afflict Job very much.
What he found unbearable was that he was punished even though he
had done nothing wrong or bad. In his eyes, all his actions, words
and thoughts were right and good: Till I die I will not put away my
integrity from me. I hold fast my righteousness and will not let it go.
My heart does not reproach any of my days. In fact, Job was so
righteous in his own eyes that he even challenged God to answer his
complaints. He renounced his self-righteousness and repent in dust
and ashes only after God had exposed his infinite ignorance,
Indeed, Job had a supremely purified personality, but it was not
enough. It still had to die. St. John of the Cross says, The soul that
is attached to anything, however much good there may be in it, will
not arrive at the liberty of the divine.
Physical poverty and pain are difficult to endure, but psychological poverty and pain are far more difficult to endure. Only the
even more unbearable poverty and pain of the soul can compel the
man to endure psychological poverty and pain.

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In Views from the Real World, Gurdjieff says:


If a man were deprived of his illusions and all that prevents him from seeing realityif he were deprived of his
interests, his cares, his expectations and hopesall his
strivings would collapse, everything would become empty
and there would remain an empty being, an empty body,
only physiologically alive.
This would be the death of I, the death of everything it
consisted of, the destruction of everything false collected
through ignorance or inexperience. All this will remain in
him merely as material, but subject to selection. Then a
man will be able to choose for himself and not have
imposed on him what others like. He will have conscious
choice.
This is difficult. No, difficult is not the word. The word
impossible is also wrong, because, in principle, it is
possible; only it is a thousand times more difficult than to
become a multimillionaire through honest work.
Just study the trials and sufferings of those who have traveled
far, such as Lama Surya Das, Jack Kornfeld, Philip Kapleau, Gopi
Krishna and many others. Even the preliminary practice is difficult.
Although the beginning of any undertaking is usually difficult, in
this case, the difficulty is compounded by the need to make a
complete turnaround. Hence, lengthy and strenuous labor yields
minuscule result initially.
If the man is not ready, there is no way to persuade, manipulate
or threaten him to tread the way, not even the desirability of
paradise or fearfulness of hell can move him. The personality is an
expert at persuasion, manipulation and threat; it will simply distort
everything to suit itself.
One Continuous Mistake
The emphasis on the difficulty of the way is not to discourage,
but to prevent discouragement, and also to prevent the man from
falling into the pits of self-disgust, self-hatred, self-pity, remorse,
frustration and anguish. Actually, he is already in these pits. As he
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strives to climb up, he will keep on falling back in innumerable


times. If, however, he recognizes and accepts the immense difficulty
of the way and unsparingly strives to climb up every time he falls
back in, thereby shortening his stay in the pit, then he will succeed.
As one Zen Master says, This life is a series of mistakes. True
practice is one continuous mistake, one after another anyway. In
fact, his progress can be measured by the number of his mistakes,
the more the better. If he stays in the pit, he makes no further
mistake. Furthermore, he will appear to make increasingly more
mistakes the further he advances because he can then see clearer,
wider and deeper. Therefore, he will see many mistakes, which he
failed to see before, whereas initially he can only see the few
boulders on the surface.
He will fall into the same pit innumerable times. Does he
expect to be able to see and jump over it easily after a lifetime of
failing to see and falling into it? If he persists, he will slowly learn
to see the pit before falling in, but he will still fall in. He will then
have to acquire the skill and strength to jump over it. Finally, he
must learn not to jump intentionally into the pit. Yes, he will do so
many times because he misses the pleasure of the pit, or he desires
to gain a moments respite from the strenuous struggle.
Looking Within
In The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche
writes, Looking in will require of us great subtlety and great
couragenothing less than a complete shift in our attitude to life
and to the mind. To look within implies that the man is willing to
be fully self-responsible. When he looks in and observes anything
he finds disgusting, offending, or irritating, he cannot blame anyone
or anything because everybody and everything is outside him. If he
does not like it, why does he keep it? Why didnt he throw it away?
It is because he is not able and does not even know how.
The implications and realizations of daring to look within: first,
he is fully responsible for his own state of being; second, his state of
being is absurd, foolish and contradictory; third, he is almost
completely helpless to do anything about it; finally, there is no
escapeno where to run or hide.
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A Word of Encouragement
The abnormal man cannot conceive the intelligence and
strength of the soul. His conception is merely the conception of a
self, which is infinitely weaker than the soul. When Paul requested
Jesus to remove his thorn, Jesus replied, My grace is sufficient for
you, for power is perfected in weakness. Therefore, the man must
not loathe or indulge in his weakness, but strive to perfect his power
from it.

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28
FIVE
SIGNPOSTS

The five signposts signifying that the man is facing the right
direction are the experiencing of desire, fear, agitation, exhaustion
and doubt. Though he is facing the right direction, the challenge is
to tread the way steadily, without letting the signposts distract him.
That is, he must strive to pass through these signposts. He will
inevitably come across these signposts innumerable times. The
faster he travels in the right direction, the more frequently he will
observe these signposts.
Desire
First, the way demands the elimination of all desires; therefore,
if he is traveling in the right direction, he will have to face
innumerable unsatisfied desires, resulting in self-pity, sorrow,
deprivation and emptiness.
Fear
Second, the way demands the elimination of all fears; therefore, he will have to face innumerable fears, resulting in anxiety,
worry, anger and hatred.
Agitation
Third, when the warrior-self struggles to strengthen itself
against other selves, numerous conflicts are stirred up and the

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personality becomes chaotic; thus, the man is agitated, resulting in


restlessness, frustration and irritation.
Exhaustion
Fourth, initially the warrior-self is small, weak and unskilled,
but must become big, strong and skillful enough to face the
onslaught of the active selves. Therefore, initially it will be
exhausted easily and quickly, resulting in tiredness, fatigue and
weariness.
The man must not mistake this exhaustion of the warrior-self to
be the exhaustion of the body and personality. He must learn to
distinguish between the two. If he keeps on yawning and feels very
tired during practice, but is alert and energetic when he stops his
practice, it is a sure sign that only the warrior-self is exhausted. He
must strive not to succumb to the tiredness of the warrior-self. The
only way to keep on channeling forces from other selves into the
warrior-self is to keep on struggling in spite of the immense
tiredness and weariness.
In fact, right from the beginning, he must struggle against the
sleep-self, that is, the desire to sleep more than necessary. The
personality does not sleep; when he is asleep, he is completely at its
mercy. In terms of brainwaves, he must strive to stay awake and
alert while his brain is producing plenty of alpha and theta waves,
that is, while he is physically and psychologically quiet. At stage
one of the way, when alpha brainwaves begin to increase
significantly, he must struggle against drowsy and dreamy states. At
stage two of the way, when theta brainwaves begin to increase
significantly, then he must struggle against the deeper and subtler
desire to sleep.
Doubt
Fifth, the spiritual way of life is diametrically opposite his
present way of life in actions, words and thoughts. Of course, when
the warrior-impressions collide with the impressions of the other
selves, there will be great doubt, great uncertainty, great confusion.
In addition, he must also face innumerable smaller doubts due
to the conflicts among the selves. For instance, if both the
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anticigarette-self and the cigarette-self are activated, doubt and


confusion appearto smoke or not to smoke. The warrior-self must
be skilled and shrewd enough to let these two selves fight each other
for as long as needed. It must not allow the anticigarette-self to
displace the cigarette-force into itself, or vice versa. In so doing,
they will eventually weaken each other, thereby allowing the
warrior-self to snatch away their forces. In short, the longer the man
can hold on to the doubt that arises from the conflicting impressions, the better. The doubt will dissolve when the conflicting
impressions have neutralized one another.
Further, he must be willing to be overwhelmed, even to the
point of believing that he is going insane, going out of control, or
going to die. These are only impressions of the selves because they
are going chaotic, losing control and dying. The more he struggles,
the more the selves are activated, including conflicting selves. He is
overwhelmed when he observes more impressions than usual,
implying that his observation has expanded, stretched and therefore
the experiencing of tension. Therefore, the longer he can experience
and go through the impressions of being overwhelmed, of doubt and
confusion, the better because the activated selves will have more
opportunity to neutralize one another.
As he struggles, he will appear to lose his understanding. In
truth, it is only now that he is beginning to understand. In the past,
his understanding was merely the smooth evoking of limited
associated impressions. As the conflicting impressions are neutralized, they are synthesized, resulting in broader and deeper
understanding.

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29
HINDRANCES

Treading the way can be compared to traveling toward a mountain


of inexhaustible gold and precious stones. As the man travels
nearer, he will begin to see stray bits of gold. Initially most of them
are fools gold. From afar, they appear like gold, but when examine
closely they are not. Later he will come across genuine bits of gold.
As he travels even nearer, he will come across bigger pieces of gold.
But he must not waste his force and time to examine them or pick
them up. Why slow and weigh down his journey by carrying these
pieces of gold?
After a lifetime of abject poverty, it is difficult not to cling to
these bits and pieces. Worse, if he picks up these pieces of gold,
returns home and uses them to indulge in foolishness for several
years. If he does that, he deserves to drown himself in his own
excrement. Later he will inevitably realize what he had given up.
Will he still have the strength, skill, endurance and courage to start
all over again? It is unlikely and if not, then he will be in a far worse
state than before, that is, before he traveled toward the mountain.
As the man progresses, as his soul gets bigger, creative
insights, intuition, peak performances, integrative experiences and
so on will increasingly appear. These are simply small manifestations of the soul. Nonetheless, these manifestations provoke the
personality into a frenzy. Its self-importance shoots through the
roof. It begins to indulge in grandiose fantasy. It wants to use these
manifestations to win a Nobel Prize, make a billion dollars, save the
world, and get enlightened if it did not consider itself enlightened
already.
True, these manifestations often help him in his struggle, but
they are often useful only at that particular circumstances and time.
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If he clings to them, the soul is unable to guide him any longer


because he has shut himself in. At any rate, it is impossible to cling
to them; he can only cling to the impressions of these manifestations
and therefore shutting himself in. Further, none of these manifestations can be lost, for they are of the soul. The soul knows how to
use these manifestations infinitely better than the personality.
Therefore, they must not enamor him. He must look upon them with
equanimity and pass through them.

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30
RELATIVITY
OF
PLEASURE AND PAIN

If the man can impartially reflect on his experiences, he can realize


the relativity of pleasure and pain for himself. For instance, under
ordinary circumstances, the ability to move his hands freely is not
pleasurable, but if his hands are loosened after being tied up for a
while, then he experiences pleasure which will then be gone a while
later.
The more he chases after pleasure and comfort, the more they
run away from him until nothing is pleasurable or comfortable.
Further, the more he runs away from pain and discomfort, the more
they chase after him until everything is painful and uncomfortable.
If he reverses the process, then pleasure and comfort will begin to
chase after him, but he must not cling to them. If he does, then he
reverses the process back to square one again. He also must not run
away, avoid or reject them. If he does, he has converted desire into
aversion, pleasure into pain.
To allow pleasure to pull him and pain to push him is already
absurd. To allow pleasure to push him and pain to pull him is
equally as absurd. Anything that brings pleasure one moment can
easily bring pain the next, and vice versa. To free himself from
pleasure and pain, to transcend them, he must strive to treat them
with equanimity, that is, to experience all impressions without
desire or aversion. Then he will gain control of the impressions
instead of being controlled by them.

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When the man treads the way, this relativity is keenly experienced, and he must strive not to succumb to it. For instance, if he
attempts to control his observation by concentrating on the candlelight inside his house, he will quickly experience a strong and
irresistible desire to do things under usual circumstances he cares
nothing about. He may have a strong desire to look at a particular
part of the wall instead of the candlelight and strongly believes that
it will be pleasurable to do so. As long as he manages not to
succumb to this desire, it will keep on growing stronger. But if he
looks at the wall, will he find it pleasurable? Has the wall suddenly
become irresistibly attractive although he did not find it the least
attractive before and hardly ever observed it in his entire life?
The more pain he experiences in concentrating on the candlelight, the more desirable the wall will become. Numerous other
strong and absurd desires will keep on arising. It is very difficult not
to be deluded by their seeming desirability. For instance, he may
have a strong urge to urinate although he had already gone to the
toilet several times the past ten minutes, without passing a single
drop.
Unconditional Acceptance
To overcome this urge, he must not succumb to it or fight it.
The more he fights the urge, the more attention he is giving it; thus,
the urge gets stronger. He must accept the seeming fact of having to
wet his pants and allow it to happen without any rebellion and
resistance. The very moment he can accept without any reservation
the seeming inevitable fact of wetting his pants, the urge will
disappear.
If he is at stage one of the way, he will not notice its disappearance because his attention will have already moved away,
trapped by other dilemmas. The dilemma of wetting his pants
simply ceases to be a problem as if it was never a problem at all. He
will only notice the disappearance of the urge if he reflects on his
struggle later, but will not know when it disappeared. He will only
be able to observe its disappearance at stage two of the way.
This unconditional acceptance is not a trick; it must be genuine,
otherwise it will not work. Although wetting his pants is of little
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consequence, it is not easy to accept it genuinely and fully, without


reservation. The more he refuses to spare himself, the stronger is the
pain, the stronger is the desire to run away, that is, to do other
things. The more drastic is the seeming consequences of continuing,
the more absurd is the seeming desirability of doing other things. If
the man continues to persist, he will reach a point whereby he must
accept genuinely and unconditionally the seeming fact of his
seeming impending doom: going insane, going out of control, or
going to die. How is it possible for mere observation on the
candlelight to lead to such drastic consequences? The reader can
find out for himself.

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31
RELATIVITY
OF
TIME

When the man is experiencing pleasure, many hours can pass by


unobserved because he is lost in it. Further, when he happens to
observe the passing of time occasionally, his desire for the pleasure
to last longer evokes the desire for time to slow down. Hence, time
appears to speed up.
If he is experiencing pain, then he observes the passing of time
continually because of the desire to get it over with. The stronger
the pain, the stronger is the desire to get it over with and therefore
for time to pass quickly. Consequently, time appears to slow down.
It is possible for the pain to reach a point whereby time appears to
stop, that is, the man believes strongly that the immense pain he is
experiencing is endless. Can he willingly, without rebellion and
resistance, accept this condition without reservation? If he can direct
his observation to the struggle of the moment, to experience the
impressions assailing him, then he will find that time has sped up.

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32
STRENUOUS STRUGGLE
AND
SURRENDER

Strenuous struggle and surrender are inseparable. Can the man


surrender anything if he has nothing? As long as he believes he has
something, that he is something, he will not tread the way. When he
identifies with the personality, he believes he is something, that he
is everything.
When, however, he begins to identify with the soul, which
shows itself in flashes at first, then he begins to realize his nothingness. He treads the way when he realizes he has nothing, that he
is nothing, not just mentally but with his entire being, that
everything belongs to the personality, that is, it controls all the
force. Therefore, he must struggle to rob this force from it if he
wishes to have something to surrender to the soul.
Surrendering the fruits of his struggle to the soul implies that
he is willing to experience pain, without experiencing pleasure.
When the man pursues pleasure, pain pursues him; when he pursues
pain, then pleasure pursues him, but he must not slow down to let
pleasure catch up. To avoid this mistake, he must not rest on his
laurels. He must keep on neutralizing as many selves as possible,
but without any expected pleasure or gain, physical and psychological, such as comfort, wealth, praise, fame and power.
Because the sole aim of the warrior-self is to neutralize as
many selves as possible, he must struggle to keep the warrior-self
active for as long as possible. It is willing to undergo all kinds of

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pain and suffering to succeed; it then surrenders all the fruits of its
struggle to the soul.
Without Expectation
Of course, the man does that to attain the soul, peace and joy.
But the soul, peace and joy are formless to the personality.
Therefore, it is impossible for him to have any accurate expectation
about them. How can he have any accurate idea of what is unknown
to him, of what is beyond the realm of the personality? Hence, he
must be willing to struggle without any expectations, earthly or
heavenly.
With Expectation
If he struggles with expectation or for gain, he is simply
struggling to let go of a self for another. Even if he manages to
neutralize two selves, say, the anticigarette-self and cigarette-self,
by pitting them against each other, the other remaining selves will
benefit and become bigger at their expense.
The man usually spends a considerable amount of force and
time indulging in expectation, not only in desirable expectation, but
also in fearful expectation. In so doing, he avoids the necessary
struggle of the moment; the force and time that can be used in the
struggle are wasted in expectationdaydreams, fantasies and false
imaginations. In either case, he will derive considerable pleasure
from the expenditure of force through expectation. If it were not so,
why does he cling so tightly to both desirable and fearful expectation? It can be said that struggle is active desire whereas expectation is passive desire; thus, struggle can lead somewhere whereas
expectation leads nowhere.
Enormous Expectation
The fact of his mortality is not enough to compel him to tread
the way. After all, why struggle and suffer without any expectation
of pleasure or gain, ending only in death, when he can avoid
suffering by killing himself right away? He will only tread the way
when the possibility of eternal bliss or eternal suffering is becoming
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real to him. In fact, it is highly unlikely he will tread the way unless
he had already experienced at least a few flashes of soul appearances.
In short, he has an enormous desirable or fearful expectation or
both. But he must convert this passive desire or fear into active
desire or fear, that is, into stern uncompromising labor. Otherwise,
he will only sink into desirable or fearful daydreams, fantasies and
false imaginations. If he is aggressive, he may start preaching a
cloying Santa Claus or a hell-fire version of god. In either case, he
will derive considerable pleasure from the expenditure of the godforce. Nonetheless, if he indulges in any of these activities, he is
only burying himself deeper.
Secret of Health
Buddha says that the secret of health for both mind and body is
not to regret about the past, not to worry about the future, but to live
the present moment wisely and earnestly, that the way toward
enlightenment is to meet everything with equanimity. In general,
regret is simply the omission or commission of an action in the past
that results in pain now, and worry is the fear of future pain. If the
man is willing to face whatever pain that comes and may come his
way without any expectations, regret and worry will cease. Otherwise, his expectations will evoke regret and worry. If he succeeds in
this endeavor to a certain extent, he will experience a corresponding
measure of peace, joy and confidence.
Remembering Aim
If the man truly wishes to attain the soul, he must aim at
neutralizing the personality with an unbending intent, without
indulging in any imagination about the soul. Although he must
unbendingly strive to channel his force and time to the necessary
work of the moment, yet he must never forget his aim, otherwise he
goes astray. On the other hand, it is possible to be constantly
immersed in thinking about the aim without struggling to achieve it.
If, however, he is struggling toward the right direction, this struggle
itself will remind him of his aim.

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It is analogous to the aim of driving home from work. If the


man's observation is trapped by his expectation and imagination of
the situation at home, of what he is going to do at home and so on,
he is likely to lose his way home and risks having an accident. If,
however, he is observance of his driving and the signposts, which
will guide him home and remind him of his aim, then he is likely to
reach home safely. In short, though he must always remember his
aim, but if he is struggling toward the right direction, the struggle
itself will remind him of his aim.
Another way of looking at itif the man-driver is willing to
drive without expectation, then the man-at-home will enjoy the fruit
of the man-driver's labor. The man-driver and the man-at-home is
the same but also different man. Likewise, the personality and the
soul is the same but also different.
Expectation is simply the past projected into the future.
Because circumstances are always changing, much of the future
circumstances are different from the past; therefore, much of the
force and time expended in expectation are wasted. So the best way
to prepare for the future is to face the difficulty and challenge of the
present. In so doing, the man learns to adapt to the changing
circumstances effectively; thus, he learns to be fluid and flexible.
Further, he acquires the ability to harmonize himself with changing
circumstances
Sri Krishna says, Knowledge is indeed better than blind
practice, meditation excels knowledge; surrender of the fruits of
action is more esteemed than meditation. Peace immediately follows
surrender. Confidence immediately follows surrender, too. In fact,
meditation is only an aid to help the man to work without
expectation. Or working without expectation is active meditation
and is more powerful than mere meditation because it transforms
more force into energy. Naturally, it is more difficult. As one
ancient master says, Meditation in activity is a hundred, a
thousand, a million times superior to meditation in repose.

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33
HALFWAY
STATE

Is it possible not to go all the way, that is, to settle for part
personality and part soul?
As stated earlier, there is no way to change or remove a self
without changing the personality as a whole. For example, if the
man in Technique One manages to keep the little finger of his left
hand bent in an unaccustomed way for a while, he will find that the
muscular changes will begin to spread to the other fingers, the left
hand, the left arm, and so on. If he manages to keep it bent for long
enough, the muscular changes will extend to the neck, face, buttocks
and even his toes until all the bodily muscles are stretched or tensed
up. As for the impressions, apart from becoming more intense, there
will be corresponding changes.
The same is true in Technique Two. For example, if he abstains
from smoking long enough without displacement, he will become
more physically tensed up, edgy and fidgety. As for the impressions,
apart from becoming more intense, he will begin to observe
impressions that have nothing to do with smoking while he is
struggling to abstain.
Half Self
It is possible, to a certain extent, to experience what a halfway
state is like. Instead of half a personality, he can experience what
half a self is like. For instance, if he has been smoking forty
cigarettes per day for many years, he can cut it down to twenty
cigarettes per day and strive to maintain it for a few weeks without
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displacement. The understanding he will obtain from this experiment is a thousand times more useful than mere reasoning.
Half Soul
Is it possible to struggle for just half a soul? Though a whole
soul is a thousand times better than no soul, a half soul is worse than
no soul; the man is neither here nor there and is frequently
unbalanced. In this state, he can observe the absurdity and foolishness of his life and the contradiction and conflict of the impressions. Further, he knows from his earlier successes that he can
neutralize the personality if he is willing to suffer longer. After all,
he is more strong and skillful now and already knows how to
neutralize the selves. More important, the soul and its attributes are
already real to him.
In this state, the warrior-self, greatly aided by the soul, can
hold its own against other selves with relative ease. Still, it must
struggle unceasingly to prevent them from converting energy into
force. Because the moment it yields to the temptation to compromise and evade difficulties, the tendency to yield further
increases rapidly in strength. Unless the warrior-self is constantly
vigilance, it can easily succumb to this lifelong tendency. Hence, the
man can end up in a worse state than before, filled with far more
intense regret, self-disgust and self-hatred.
Consequently, before he treads the way, it is crucial to evaluate
the cost and risk, to realize fully at least theoretically the necessity
to go all the way, without the slightest reservation or compromise.
When he treads the way, he will be tempted to compromise and cut
corners at every turn and often by seemingly sound and wellmeaning reasons. By the way, even Jesus had reservationa
gargantuan one.

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34
RECAPITULATION

Active into Passive


To avoid conflict, the personality strives to adhere to its habits and
to habitual circumstances. In so doing, the selves become rigidly
interconnected. Conflict is avoided because the conflicting forces
have rigidly counterbalanced one another and resolved into a rigid
resultant force, and the active selves have resolved into one active
self. Because only one self is active at any particular time, a
considerable amount of conflict is avoided, but it does not disappear. It is simply pushed into the background; the tension is
trapped within the rigid body and personality.
The permanent rigidity causes unease, discomfort and malaise,
expressed through fussiness and petty annoyances. The man is
offended and irritated by every trifle all day long. Consequently, he
finds life tedious and dreary. Instead of active, specific, sharp and
distinct tension with respect to inner conditions and external
circumstances, he now experiences passive, general, muted and
amorphous tension constantly. Similarly, conflict, pain and pleasure
have also become passive, general, muted and amorphous.
Everywhere Interconnected
Because the selves counterbalance and interconnect with one
another, it is impossible to change or remove just one self without
changing the personality as a whole. This is why it is difficult and
tedious to change even a small habit and impossible to predict its
overall effect.

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Furthermore, the condition of the personality is intimately


connected to the muscular condition of the body. The intimate
connection between the condition of the personality and the
biochemical and bioelectrical condition of the body is not discussed,
not because it does not exist or is not important, but because its
connection cannot be palpably observed. At any rate, the intimate
connection between the physical and the psychological condition is
already well documented and acknowledged to be of vital importance.
Maximum and Constant Tension
A baby is usually born with a soul of considerable size. As he
grows older, more and more selves are added until no soul is left,
that is, all the energy has been converted into conflicting forces.
Hence, the degree of conflict and tension becomes maximum and
constant.
Then no matter what he does or what circumstances he is in,
the overall conflict and tension stay the same though they may vary
in degree and type. If he adheres to his habits and habitual circumstances, he experiences mostly passive conflict and tension. If he
frequently changes his activities and circumstances, then he experiences mostly a variety of active conflicts and tensions. In this case,
the number and type of selves change frequently; the personality is
loose, frequently in turmoil and unbalanced.
Though a sudden drastic change in circumstances or a traumatic experience may drive the man, especially if he has a rigid
personality, insane or even kill him, there is still no increase in
overall conflict and tension. In this case, much of the background
passive conflict and tension are suddenly converted into various
active conflicts and tensions. The body and personality simply
cannot handle the chaotic havoc caused by the sudden drastic
change. Nonetheless, given sufficient time, he can get used to any
external circumstances or experience.
Way Out of Impasse
The only way out of this impasse is to stop avoiding pain and
pursuing pleasure. Because he is already heavily unbalanced, to
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balance himself, initially he must constantly strive to face pain and


avoid pleasure. If he strives long enough but is not vigilant, then
what was painful before will become pleasurable, what was
pleasurable before, painful. Keen vigilance and discrimination are
crucial to avoid this danger. In general, when a particular area of
struggle is becoming habitual and familiar, then it is becoming
pleasurable, so it is advisable to increase the difficulty or change the
area of struggle.
It is possible to suffer considerably without moving an inch
forward, exemplified by the man who invariably ends up deriving
pleasure from pain. The entire aim is to experience everything with
equanimity, without evoking any pleasure or pain.
Passive into Active into Neutral
The other selves strive to avoid active conflict and tension. In
contrast, the warrior-self strives to face active conflict and tension in
order to remove passive conflict and tension. The warrior-self never
indulges in pleasure or comfort; it never rests, except to allow the
body to recuperate. Otherwise, it is always at war.
At stage one of the way, the warrior-self strives to activate the
fossilized, passive conflict and tension, making them active and
noticeable, bringing them to the surface. At stage two of the way, it
then strives to neutralize them.
The warrior-self strives to activate and neutralize conflict and
tension by anchoring its observation on an object. It is analogous to
the selection of a strategic position to destroy the enemy. The
stronger the warrior-self, the longer it can anchor its observation, the
more active conflict and tension it can endure. In so doing, the
personality is loosened and weakened.
Immediate Resultant Fruit
After observing five thousand clients and students, in Hands of
Light, Barbara Brennan says, The basic malady I have found in all
the people I have ever worked with is self-hatred. In addition, the
man is also plagued by self-disgust, self-pity, remorse, guilt, shame,
frustration and anguish. No matter how hard he may struggle to
bury these impressions with seeming self-love and self-importance,
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he will never succeed. In fact, the more he indulges in seeming selflove and self-importance, the more these impressions will plague
him.
But the moment he sincerely and single-mindedly strives to
tread the way, he will find that these impressions have reduced.
After a few weeks of hard labor, he will experience a mild impression of well-being throughout the day. This is inevitable. If he is
willing to face active tension, passive tension will reduce. The body
and personality will be a little loosened. Hence, he does not have to
wait until he dies to reap the fruit of his struggle.
In fact, he can experience a mild impression of well-being even
after a short period of intense unusual activity, such as being chased
by a tiger for twenty minutes though it will be masked by
exhilaration and exhaustion in the beginning. The exhilaration is
due to the expenditure of conflicting forces, resulting in significant
loosening of the body and personality. The body is stretched,
resulting in aching muscles for several days. Of course, the
impression of well-being quickly goes away because the body and
personality quickly become rigid again.
Many Strive, Few Succeed
To reduce the overall conflict and tension requires many
months or a few years of continuous hard labor because it is very
difficult to let even a little energy to remain as energy. To let all
energy to remain as energy requires many years of continuous hard
labor. Strength, skill, endurance, persistence, patience, diligence,
vigilance, sound discrimination and sincerity are necessary to move
continuously in the right direction. After a lifetime of desiring to
satisfy all his expectations without any labor and instantly, now he
must endure continuous hard labor without any expectation whatsoever. For these reasons, many men may strive to free themselves,
but only a few will succeed.

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35
OBSERVATION
PRACTICE

Observation practice appears mundane while spiritual practice


appears exotic and mysterious. Nonetheless, all spiritual practices,
techniques and methods are simply aids, props and crutches to assist
the man to transform attention into awareness and to assist him
when he is not yet strong enough to stand on his own.
For example, bending the little finger in an unaccustomed way
in Technique One is simply to assist him to control his observation.
When he can control his observation to a certain extent, then there is
no need to behave in an unaccustomed way. When all attention has
transformed into awareness, then he can let go of all aids, props and
crutches because he is strong enough to stand on his own.
Impressions, Higher Attention, Awareness
The movement, sense, feeling and thought impressions, higher
attention and awareness are inherently the same and undifferentiated. They are like ice, water and steam. They differ only in
degree in the stated sequence. Compare to the other types of
impression, a movement impression is specific, coarse, exclusive
and transitory. On the other hand, compare to the other types of
impression, awareness or formless impression is general, fine,
inclusive and eternal.
For example, a thought of an apple has a specific size and
color, but it is more general, fine and inclusive than a visual
impression of a specific apple because no apples have the exact
same shape and color. Further, any specific apple has specific marks
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such as spots on it. A formless apple can freely become any specific
apple; therefore, it is most general, fine and inclusive. It is the
essence of apples. When a specific apple is not seen, the visual
impression of it is gone. The thought impression of an apple can
stay longer. The formless apple, however, never disappears; it is
eternal.
Many coarse impressions can fall within one fine impression,
that is, a fine impression is bigger than a coarse impression. For
example, the formless impression of spiritual teachings encompasses all the various conceptual spiritual teachings. Because a
normal man can perceive the essence of spiritual teachings, he finds
no contradiction or conflict between the various conceptual
differences. Therefore, he does not cling to a particular scripture and
reject all others. He has an unshakable stability and foundation.
Coarse Impressions and Their Reactions
Coarse impressions are due to fear, and there are four types of
reaction to fear. First, the man avoids circumstances that will evoke
it, expending the fearful force through the act of avoidance. Second,
if he cannot avoid fearful circumstances, then he loses himself into
the fearful feeling and thought impressions, expending them in
fearful fantasies and false imaginations. Third, he displaces these
impressions down into movement and sense impressions, expending
them through activity. Fourth, he displaces these impressions further
down into the body, expending them in muscular tension.
These four types of reaction overlap, fuse and blend with one
another. Hence, even if he can avoid fearful circumstances, he is
still constantly lost in coarse impressions.
DEBAUCHED KINESTHESIA

If the man tends to displace and expend the force of the


conflicting impressions into the body by contracting the muscles,
drinking, smoking, overeating and so on, he avoids experiencing
these impressions, but the destructive effects on the body are real.
Instead of active tension, he will then experience passive tension
constantly.

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Research has discovered that most people do not know their


level of bodily tension. In several experiments, biofeedback instruments were attached to the subjects bodies to measure their
brainwaves, muscular tension, skin resistance and finger temperature while they listened to music designed to induce relaxation.
After the session, they frequently reported that they became very
deeply relaxed, but the instruments did not register any decrease in
tension. In fact, in many cases, they registered an increase instead.
In short, the subjects had mistaken increased bodily tension to
be less tension. The subjects noticed and experienced less active
tension because more force of the conflicting impressions was
displaced into their bodies. In contrast, if the subjects had noticed
and experienced increased active tension, their bodies would have
less tension because less of the conflicting impressions would have
been displaced into them. Consequently, the willingness to notice
and experience increased active tension will result in less bodily
tension.
Frederick M. Alexander attributed the mans inability to assess
correctly his bodily condition as debauched kinesthesia. He found
that it is an almost universal problem. At any rate, debauched
kinesthesia is simply the reaction of a debauched personality.
Coarse Impressions Mask the Fine
Coarse impressions mask and shroud the fine. Movement
impressions tend to mask the sense impressions. This is why when
the man desires to listen or see more clearly, he tends to quiet his
movements, to the point of holding his breath. He seldom
experiences his feelings as feelings. For instance, sweaty palms,
cold hands and feet, muscular tightness, pounding heart, and rapid
breathing are definitely not feelings, but movement and sense
impressions. He must be able to quiet the movement and sense
impressions somewhat before he can directly experience his feelings
as feelings. Further, he must be able to quiet his movement, sense
and feeling impressions to observe his thoughts as thoughts.
Speaking, desire to speak and subvocalization are not thoughts.
They are simply reactions of thoughts.

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Transformation of Coarse into Fine


In fact, observation practice is simply the struggle to transform
coarse impressions into fine impressions. Acquiring concentration is
not the aim, there is no benefit whatsoever in the ability to anchor
the observation on an object per se. If the man struggles to acquire
concentration without understanding, it can easily become another
mechanical habit.
The aim of anchoring his observation is to prevent the force of
the impressions from being displaced and to prevent his observation
from being lost into these impressions, but to transform these
impressions into higher attention. As his higher attention grows
stronger, broader and deeper, eventually it becomes pure awareness.
The coarsest will be neutralized first because they are the most
weak, superficial and shallow. Therefore, the longer he holds the
tension, the greater the tension becomes and the finer the impressions become. Further, he will increasingly observe more
impressions simultaneously. In short, he anchors his observation to
compel the conflicting impressions to neutralize one another,
transforming them into finer impressions.

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36
THREE
WELL-KNOWN
OBSERVATION TECHNIQUES

Alexander Technique
In the Alexander Technique, the man anchors his observation on
these thoughtsallow the neck to be free to let the head go forward
and up, so that the back may lengthen and widen, all together, one
after the other. In Body Learning: An Introduction to the Alexander
Technique, Michael Gelb says it requires a great deal of practice.
Yes, it is so. To hold these thoughts simultaneously requires the
existence of at least a small higher attention.
The Alexander Technique is effective not because these
thoughts are potent or magical. Any nonsensical thoughts will be
just as effective. In anchoring observation on these thoughts, the
conflicting impressions are not displaced and observation is not lost
into these impressions; hence, they are compelled to neutralize one
another.
Referring to his technique, Alexander says:
Boiled down, it all comes to inhibiting a particular
reaction to a given stimulus. But no one will see it that
way. They will see it as getting in and out of a chair the
right way. It is nothing of the kind. It is that a pupil
decides what he will or will not consent to do!
And Michael Gelb says the Alexander Technique has helped
him in these ways: dealing with fear, developing attention, attention
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to process, going from the known into the unknown, experimental


thinking, non-interference, improved kinesthesia and coordination.
These are the reasons that make the Alexander Technique
effective. Instead of succumbing to habitual reactions, it helps the
man to face his fears and the unknown. Instead of attempting to
compel his body to adopt any desirable movements or postures,
which will only make matters worse, it helps him to leave the body
alone. If he is always immersed in reactions, how can he decide
what he will or will not consent to do?
Indeed, if he allows the neck to be free and so on, he avoids
expending excessive force, but he cannot compel the neck to be
free, physically or psychologically. His neck will naturally become
free when the personality is neutralized. A two-year-old child does
not know about the Alexander Technique, but he naturally holds his
body and moves without excessive tension. At that age, he still has a
big soul and a small personality.
If the personality is neutralized, the body will naturally stay
still or move impeccably, that is, without any excessive tension. The
soul can look after it a thousand times better than the personality. In
contrast, the muscles of the abnormal man are tense even when he is
asleep. The Alexander Technique is not designed to loosen muscles.
Yet, at the age of over eighty, Alexander was able to swing one leg
over a chair effortlessly and smoothly.
To apply this technique in daily activities, the man must
expand his observation further. For instance, if he is attempting to
solve a problem, his higher attention must be big enough to
encompass these thoughts plus other thoughts simultaneously.
Autogenic Training
In Autogenic Training, the man can start by verbally repeating
the sentencemy left hand is warm. If he keeps repeating this
sentence while indulging in daydreams, he can repeat it for a
hundred years without any net benefit. He has only added another
mechanical habit. If he visualizes his left hand immersed in hot
water, then his left hand will get warmer, primarily due to
associated reaction. If he can keep his observation on the left hand,
he will get better result.
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Later, he can practice with various phrases and strive to


observe more than one part of the body. Finally, he can strive to
observe his entire body while anchoring his observation on a single
word, such as relax. If he can do this while performing his daily
activities, he will already have acquired a soul of significant size
and a strong higher attention. Of course, he can push further by
striving to observe all the impressions and stimuli, too.
The Alexander Technique and the Autogenic Training are
similar to anchoring the observation on a mantra, thus offering the
man the opportunity to struggle against letting the observation from
being pulled away by external stimuli and also from being lost into
mental dialogue, thereby weakening the control of the external
stimuli and mental dialogue over him.. Of course, Autogenic
Training can be practiced in various ways and may be more suitable
to some people. But for it to be effective, the man must refrain from
trying or desiring to induce any particular state. For instance, if he
uses the word relax, he must attend to it with detachment, without
desiring to be more relaxed. Otherwise, he will become more tensed
up instead. Using a mantra, especially a neutral word or image,
avoids this pitfall.
Too much emphasis has been placed on certain mantras,
considered as power words. Even if these words are, especially if
they are, truly powerful, it is better to avoid them initially. A novice
swordsman will only cut himself if he practices with an extremely
sharp sword. He is better off practicing with a wooden one initially.
Apart from that, using power words tend to create unnecessary
expectation and attachment, distracting him from useful practice.
EMDR
Although EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is a complex therapy, the gist of the therapy is for the
subject to hold on to a traumatic thought while his eyes follow the
movement of the therapists fingers as the therapist moves his
fingers back and forth for a short time. Using EMDR, subjects
having traumatic experiences are often able to neutralize their
traumatic experiences with astounding rapidity.

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The therapy is astoundingly effective not because the eye


movements release the inhibited, buried and repressed traumatic
impressions; they cannot be inhibited, buried or repressed. In
general, the subject has a gigantic safety-self, and its force is
frequently expended through physical and psychological disturbances, such as recurrent nightmares, flashbacks, teeth grinding,
intense headaches, muscular tension, hyper-vigilance on the feared
circumstances, and so on.
It is effective because the observation on the therapists fingers
prevents the traumatic thought and its associated reactions from
being displaced and also prevents the observation from being lost
into these reactions. Hence, the subject can directly observe and
experience these reactions, thus neutralizing them. Further, the eye
movements allow the therapist to know that the subject is anchoring
his observation.
The other parts of the therapy play the crucial role of preparing,
cushioning and supporting the subject. Most important, the therapist
must be strong enough to provide the necessary support and not
react with fear when the subject is not strong enough to go through
the whole experience, that is, when part of the force is displaced and
expended in intense bodily reactions. How can the subject face his
fear if the therapist cannot?
When the frightening reactions have been neutralized, the
subject is able to recall the memory of this formerly traumatic
experience with equanimity, calmly. Further, in the absence of
denial, avoidance, distortion and exaggeration, his recollection will
be clear, accurate and complete, enabling him to understand his
problem clearly, but then it has already ceased to be a problem.
Even so, this understanding will assist him toward handling other
problems.
THE TRAUMA AFTER

What usually happens when the gigantic safety-self is gone?


The subject then goes back to his usual life of absurdity. He is
considered recovered and adjustedadjusted to the conventional
life of silliness and ignorance. Yes, he will probably live longer.
Instead of violent reactions, the conflicting forces will be expended
through the rigidity of the body and personality, and through the
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numerous accepted and approved ways: complaining endlessly,


kicking walls, banging doors, watching movies, playing video
games and so on.
For example, when he is watching movie, very little of his
observation is on the movie; the rest of his observation is lost in
reactions. One man desires to be tensed up in suspense, another man
desires to be scared to death, yet another desires to flood the cinema
with tears. If the movie evokes these reactions, then it is a good and
interesting movie because it releases the pent-up conflicting forces,
thus bringing him relief for a moment. Otherwise, he has wasted his
time and money, compelling him to expend the pent-up conflicting
forces by condemning and criticizing the movie.
On the other hand, if he strives to anchor his observation on the
movie, that is, on the images or sounds or both, thus preventing his
observation from being lost into the reactions somewhat, it will
certainly benefit him tremendously. Further, he will see and hear far
more clearly than usual. Hence, to attain genuine recovery, he must
use this acquired skill and strength in his everyday activity. He must
be willing to face even more frightening impressions. There are
countless ways to trap and anchor his observation.
ETERNAL DAMNATION

Traumatic experiences tend to propel the man toward the way.


In The Doctor and the Soul, Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Nazi
concentration camp at Auschwitz, writes that when a prisoner is
released, he enjoys the precious feeling that after all he has
experienced and suffered, there is nothing left in the world that he
need fearexcept, perhaps, his God. For a good many men learned
in concentration camp, and as a result of concentration camp, to
believe in God again.
Freed from all petty fears, these men stumbled upon a
monstrous feareternal damnation. Of course, a gargantuan
desireeternal blisscan compel him to let go of all his petty
desires. Either way, he treads the way when he strives to neutralize
all his fears and desires, including monstrous and gargantuan ones.
By the way, Viktor Frankl founded Logotherapy, consisting of
two techniques: paradoxical intention and de-reflection. Paradoxical
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intention is used to face and neutralize fear. De-reflection is used to


avoid succumbing to habitual reactions, deflecting them.

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37
OBSERVATION
IN
DAILY ACTIVITY

If the man is reading a book, say, on physics, to comprehend the


material as he reads, he must be able to hold everything read earlier
in his observation. As he reads, his observation synthesizes the
material into a big coherent thought impression; a big thought is the
synthesis of many smaller thoughts. As he reads further, more data
is incorporated into the earlier material. If a piece of datum drops
out of his observation, then he may not be able to comprehend what
he is reading anymore. He can try to recall the missing datum from
memory, bringing it back to his observation, failing which he must
trace back for it.
If he has a physics-self, it will be activated. The material is
then incorporated into it. If what is read contradicts the impressions
in the physics-self, then conflict and tension appear. If he avoids the
conflict by denying, ignoring or distorting the new material and by
clinging to and exaggerating the old material, then he has created
permanent conflict and tension within himself.
In contrast, if he faces the conflict squarely, his examination
may lead to a deeper understanding, eliminating the seeming contradiction. On the other hand, he may have to modify the physics-self
to incorporate the new material. If there is no sufficient evidence to
validate the new material, he can search for more evidence, conduct
an experiment or simply leave the issue open. These options involve
labor, uncertainty, confusion, tension and pain.

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The physicist Werner Heisenberg, discoverer of the uncertainty


principle, writes:
. . . when new groups of phenomena compel changes in
the pattern of thought . . . even the most eminent of
physicists find immense difficulties. For the demand for
change in the thought pattern may engender the feeling
that the ground is to be pulled from under ones feet. . . . I
believe that the difficulties at this point can hardly be
overestimated. Once one has experienced the desperation
with which clever and conciliatory men of science react to
the demand for a change in the thought pattern, one can
only be amazed that such revolutions in science have
actually been possible at all.
This only involves primarily the physics-self though a physicist
has a gigantic physics-self. The way demands a complete change in
the personality. It must be rendered completely fluid, flexible and
adaptable to respond impeccably to changing circumstances.
If the man is able to face everything in life squarely, he can
dispense with observation practice because he is already strong. If
he ceaselessly strives to be more impeccable at whatever he is doing
at the moment, he will get stronger. But he can only be more
impeccable if he strives to let go of expectation, both desirable and
fearful. To live a spiritual life is simply to live fully, observing and
experiencing everything, shutting out nothing.

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38
MIND AND RELAXATION
MACHINES

To conclude the subject on observation practice, here is a brief


discussion on the proliferation of mind and relaxation machines.
Initially, if the man wishes, he may experiment with these machines.
They may help to trap and anchor his observation. They may evoke
unfamiliar impressions, which may help him to prepare himself
better. But sooner or later, he must drop them. The man treading the
way strives to be self-dependent and selfreliant, without relying on
any external aids. He strives to acquire self-control, without
allowing anything to control him.
At any rate, toward the end of his book, Mega Brain Power,
and after extolling the efficacy of these machines to the heavens,
Michael Hutchison writes, The most profound breakthroughs seem
to emerge from a willingness to let the brain technology take you
into uncomfortable areas and release the traumatic material that is
stored or coded there.
But the man can easily put himself into uncomfortable areas
at anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances, and as uncomfortable as he can bearwithout any artificial aids. In so doing, he
can release the permanent conflict and tension that cause these areas
to be uncomfortable.
Please note that what is said about these machines applies only
to the man who is treading the way. To the man unable to endure the
conflicting impressions, these machines can be useful; they may
preserve his sanity. Likewise, for him, medical drugs can be useful;
they may prolong his life.

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The man treading the way must strive to avoid taking medical
drugs for minor bodily problems. That is to say, if he has a minor
abdominal or head pain, he must go through with it and allow the
body to heal by itself. If it is quite severe, he can work less and fast
for a few days. As he progresses, apart from psychological upheaval, various physical pains will appear, severe abdominal or head
pain is common. Hence, he must strive to endure pain without
fighting against it, without resorting to machines or drugs.

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39
RAJA
YOGA

If the man has sincerely experimented with Technique One, he will


find that he was like a novice warrior, weak and unskilled, who
fought an army of seasoned fighters. Naturally, he failed miserably.
Raja Yoga is systematically designed to provide him with the
necessary formal training to strengthen the warrior-self, but he must
continue to practice Technique One. In addition to the previously
stated benefits, Technique One will keep him humble and spur him
to greater effort. There is no need to select any habit to practice
Technique Two per se. When he practices Raja Yoga, he will
encounter many opposing habits.
Though many books are available on Raja Yoga, Yoga, Tantra
and Meditation in Daily Life by Swami Janakananda is recommended. It is well organized and written in a clear, simple and
down-to-earth manner. Raja Yoga consists of eight steps; the first
six steps deal with the creation of a warrior-self and its training. A
baby soul appears at the beginning of step seven; Insight meditation
is then used to guide the soul into maturity. Step eight is enlightenment.
The steps are systematically arranged. The later step builds on
the earlier step, which is then integrated into it. At step seven, the
man learns to practice the first six steps all together. As he
advances, he learns to apply the first seven steps all together to daily
activities.
Stage one of the way corresponds to the first six steps. In this
stage, the man must single-mindedly strive to strengthen the
warrior-self, without allowing any self to prevent him. There is no
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direct attempt to neutralize any self in particular. Because a self is


strengthened by attention, therefore if attention is increasingly
anchored on the warrior-self, the other selves will be indirectly
weakened, particularly those that stand in the way. Technique Two
is applied to the selves that seriously prevent him from continuing
his struggle. At stage two of the way, he then strives to neutralize
the selves directly, for only awareness can neutralize the
impressions.
Initial Struggle
Though the first six steps do not reduce the overall tension of
the body and personality, they loosen their rigidity and spread out
the tension more evenly. They convert passive tension into active
tension; hence, instead of passive tension, the man will experience
various active tensions, which will fluctuate throughout his practice.
When his practice is sufficiently long and intense enough, then he
will experience the fluctuations throughout the day.
These fluctuations are simply reactions and counter-reactions
of the body and personality as they move away from their former
rigid equilibrium. He must not attempt to meddle with these
reactions; he must simply experience, observe and go through with
them as calmly as possible. If he clings to pleasant reactions and
avoids unpleasant ones, the body and personality will simply settle
into a different rigid equilibrium. Unless these reactions are severe,
he must continue the practice. Even if he is very tensed up, he can
still practice as usual but less intensely.
Nonetheless, initially it is better to practice gently. As he learns
more about himself, then he can slowly intensify his effort. In order
to loosen the body and personality, he must keep on increasing the
length and intensity of his struggle. He can only slow down when
the body is showing signs of breaking down due to the strain and
stress, requiring keen discrimination and sincerity. In the beginning,
it is very difficult to distinguish between too much actual strain and
the desire to slow down because the aversion to the struggle evokes
numerous delusional excuses to justify slowing down. So in the
beginning he usually has to take the risk of actually pushing too far,
to the point of injuring himself.
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After a lifetime of sparing himself, of avoiding the slightest


difficulty and of exaggerating the difficulties, in most instances, he
has not actually pushed himself to the limit even though he
experiences plenty of frightening impressions. He is actually much
stronger than he assumes; he has merely deceived himself, and
allowed himself to be deceived, into weakness. Therefore, he must
constantly strive to go beyond his self-imposed limits.
Transcendence
He must learn not to equate progress with external results, but
to equate it with the length and intensity of his struggle. This is true
all the way. For example, if he usually runs ten miles on a windless
day, but only runs five miles against a strong wind even when he
struggles more than usual, he is progressing faster than when there
is no wind. If, however, he runs twenty miles when a strong wind is
behind him, but struggles less than usual, he is regressing. External
results depend on inner conditions and external circumstances.
Therefore, he must strive to transcend external results thereby
freeing himself from slavery to inner conditions and external
circumstances.
What is written, like many other facts, is obvious, but it is
extremely difficult to remember and apply when in the midst of
difficulties. Therefore, it is useful to ponder over it and observe for
himself continually. Of course, he must examine the results to guide
him in the right direction. In general, if he is moving in the right
direction, he will be facing more fluctuations, more various active
tensions and less passive tension.
Warrior-Circumstances
Initially when the warrior-self is weak, the man must rigidly
strive to stick to simple, routine practice. As he progresses, the
practice becomes more complicated and subtle, requiring frequent
changes and experimentation. The warrior-self must be strong but
not rigidly strong; it must be fluid, flexible, adaptable and skillful.
Like any self, the warrior-self depends on external circumstances; thus, the existence of warrior-circumstances to create,
nurture and strengthen the warrior-self is most helpful. Therefore, it
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is important to allocate a room or a corner solely to practice steps


two to six at the same time regularly, preferably early in the
morning to prevent interruption. This room must not be used for
other activities. If this practice is carried out diligently and long
enough, then every time the man enters the room, the warrior-self
will be activated. In the room, the warrior-self is fighting with the
other selves with a home ground advantage
Initially the man must strive to prolong his stay in the warriorcircumstances to nurture and strengthen the warrior-self. But once
the warrior-self is strong enough to hold its own within the warriorcircumstances, it must begin to fight the other selves outside the
room, that is, under circumstances conducive to the other selves.
There will be a strong temptation to keep on prolonging his stay in
the warrior-circumstances because the man now experiences
comfort, familiarity and security. On the other hand, if the warriorself fights on enemy ground, he will experience even more intense
conflict and tension. Nonetheless, if he succumbs to the temptation,
then the warrior-self becomes an ordinary perverted self.
It is as if the ship captain has decided to anchor his ship
permanently in the middle of the ocean by dropping a gigantic
anchor. In so doing, he experiences comfort, familiarity and security
for the moment; he has avoided the necessary risk and strenuous
struggle needed to steer the ship through the unknown. Of course,
he needs to shut his eyes to the absurdity and danger of his decision.
If he is unable to do so, to appease the inner conflict, he can tell
himself that he will weigh anchor tomorrowwithout end. Whats
more, if the anchor has stayed at the bottom long enough, he may
find it impossible to weigh it up when he realizes the absurdity of
his decision.

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40
STEP ONE
YAMA
(Abstinence from Unwholesome Acts)

The first step has five aspects: non-violence, non-stealing, nongreed, truthfulness and continence. It deals solely with physical
restraint. In this physical struggle, the personality is indirectly
shaken and loosened. These aspects help to weaken the personality
in a general way; the loose force can then be used to create the
warrior-self. If the man is already utterly disgusted with his life, it
will not be difficult to practice this step to a significant extent.

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41
STEP TWO
NIYAMA
(Cultivation of Wholesome Acts)

The second step also has five aspects: purification, austerity,


contentment, devotional practice and spiritual study. These aspects
help to weaken the personality and strengthen the warrior-self
through various specific ways. They prepare the man for war,
physically and psychologically.
Purification and austerity have nothing to do with sitting on an
anthill, whipping or torturing the body in any way. These practices
are idiotic and absurd. Purification and austerity are simply the
abstinence of indulgences that weaken the body and the cultivation
of activities that keep it healthy and resilient. Devotional practice
and spiritual study are psychological preparation.
Because sex and fasting are prominent and controversial issues
in spiritual practice, they are discussed here.
Sex
In general, sex is far too much emphasized, causing much
unnecessary conflict and tension. This excessive attention on sex
inevitably leads to a much bigger sex-self, causing it to be filled
with perverse sex-impressions.
Though the man may have a big sex-self, it is still only a
fraction of the personality. If he assumes the way consists in
removing or adding a few selves, he is definitely deluded. At any
rate, the interconnectedness of the selves makes it impossible to
struggle solely against any particular self. In addition, instead of
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robbing from only one self, it is easier to acquire the same amount
of force by robbing many selves, by robbing a bit from each self.
Instead of one strong reaction, this maneuver only results in many
weak reactions; hence, the reactions are also easier to handle.
Anyway, the sexual act per se expends only a little force
comparatively. Much force is expended in the continual arousal and
stimulation throughout the day, and much force is expended in
various means of obtaining gratification, deceitful or otherwise.
Who can tell how much force is expended in the chase, suspense
and resultant trouble? Of course, the huge expenditure of force in
these activities gives much more pleasure than the sexual act per se.
Jesus did not say, Thou shall not have sex. He adjures the
man not to commit adultery, not just physically but also mentally,
because the moment he does so, he is in conflict. More important, if
there is no mental adultery, there will be no physical adultery. If
there is no mental sex, there will be no excessive physical sex.
Nonetheless, it is far more difficult not to succumb to mental
adultery or sex.
Because the body produces semen continuously, there is no
advantage in keeping it all inside. Doing so may even result in
congestion. As long as the body is not compelled to produce more
semen than it can naturally produce with ease, then there is no harm.
Celibacy is only beneficial when the man is advanced spiritually
and is able to transmute semen into energy.
In general, it is more difficult to maintain the proper balance
than either excessive indulgence or complete abstinence, not only
regarding sex but also everything else. To acquire proper balance,
he must strive to consider the whole instead of focusing obsessively
on a few areas.
Fasting
Fasting was and still is the most effective means to purify the
body; thus, it helps to weaken many harmful habits. Sound common
sense is enough to enable the man to fast for a day or two safely, but
if he wishes to fast for many days, it is advisable to do so in a
fasting clinic. If, however, he wishes to fast on his own, he must
have enough information to guide him safely. Based on fifty-five
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years of investigation, observation and practice, The Science and


Fine Art of Fasting by Herbert Shelton is the most comprehensive
book available on fasting and therefore an excellent guide.
Moreover, Shelton himself had supervised the fasts of over a
hundred thousand clients.
When the man treads the way, he will almost definitely
encounter intestinal and digestive problems. It is common to excrete
mucus streaked with blood and sticky, blackish excrement. The
average colon is spastic and bloated, congested by many pounds of
toxic waste, which eventually turned sticky and blackish and
therefore sticking fast to the colon. To a lesser extent, this is also
true if the man is trim and physically active. In this case, it is due to
the rigid intestinal and digestive muscles, weakening their peristaltic
activities. When these problems arise, it is important to fast in order
not to aggravate them and to allow the purification to go on
smoothly. In fact, fasting itself helps to remove these problems
because it gives the body, especially the digestive organs, the
necessary rest to recuperate. Consequently, the ability to fast for a
few days with ease is crucial.
It is possible to use fasting as a shortcut to weaken the
personality and to experience the appearance of the soul. If the fast
is sufficiently long enough, from a few to several weeks, the body
processes slow down to the minimum necessary, and the personality
is considerably weakened. The soul appears. The man is strangely
alert and tranquil, yet he is also drowsy and weakindeed a strange
state. This experience can serve as a useful reference point. Further,
he will learn much about his body and personality in a relatively
short time. To undertake this longer fast safely, he must prepare and
train himself with numerous shorter fasts first.
The ability to fast with ease for a few days is crucial, but it is
not necessary to undertake this longer fast. A weak body is useless
to the soul. The soul cannot use the body to carry out its mission,
but the moment the man starts to eat, the personality gets stronger
again. Similarly, if he rides an unruly horse, he is carried hither and
thither against his will, but if he tames it by letting it go hungry for a
few weeks, he is not better off because then the horse cannot carry
him anywhere. The aim is to have complete control over a strong
and skillful horse; likewise, the aim is for the soul to have complete
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control over a healthy and resilient body. Once the body is healthy
and resilient, fasting is no longer beneficial.
Does fasting put on additional weight? If the man does not eat
more than his daily requirements, how can that happen? He will
only put on additional weight if he succumbs to the reaction of
fasting. His fasting evokes impressions of deprivation and emptiness
regarding food. So when he starts eating, these impressions from the
food-self compel him to eat more than usual.
In fact, after a long fast, it is better to eat little initially and
increase the food intake gradually. Later, of course, he must eat
more than usual to compensate for what he had lost during fasting,
but he must strive to avoid the compelling reaction to overcompensate. This compelling reaction to overcompensate applies to
other activities, compelling the man to keep on accumulating even
though he may already have everything to sustain him for a
thousand years. Overcompensating to play safe is antithesis to the
way. The way demands dangerous living, the willingness to risk
everything.
Devotional Practice
The predominantly emotional man focuses primarily on
devotional practice. In so doing, strong feeling impressions are
displaced into the warrior-self as devotional feelings toward
symbols of divinity; thus, the other selves are weakened and the
warrior-self is strengthened. The devotional feelings and symbols
are the warrior-impressions. They help to trap his attention on the
warrior-self, thus preventing the other selves from dragging it hither
and dither. When the warrior-self is strong enough, then it can
actively strive to neutralize the other selves, but without displacing
their forces to itself any longer, thus allowing them to be transformed into energy.
TWO COMMANDMENTS

Jesus says that the whole Law and the Prophets are included in
these two commandments: first, you shall love the Lord your God
with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind;
second, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. But it is
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impossible to love the formless, anchor to it or relate to it in any


way. If, however, the first commandment is correctly practiced, then
a strong and skillful warrior-self is created. If the second commandment is then correctly practiced, the personality is neutralized. Then
the soul appears.
The second is simply the struggle to treat all impressions with
equanimity. The first provides an anchor and a point of reference to
practice the second. If the man practices only the first, without the
second, he has merely changed one self for another. If he strives
persistently, the warrior-self becomes a gigantic god-self. Therefore,
great care is needed to nurture and train the warrior-self.
Mother Teresa epitomized this approach. First, she spent years
in devotional practice; then she took care of the sick, aged and
dying, a most powerful and difficult technique to neutralize the
personality. In so doing, her devotional practice was reduced, thus
her warrior-self was correspondingly weakened. Because she
worked without any expectation, the forces within her personality
could not be displaced anywhere, so they were transformed into
energy.
Spiritual Study
The predominantly mental man focuses primarily on investigation, experimentation, verification and practice. This approach is
becoming prominent. Below are three signs indicating its increasing
prominence.
FIRST SIGN

In the past, there was very little information. Now an abundance of information is easily available. Nevertheless, to avoid
being trapped and prejudiced by words, concepts and symbols, it is
essential to study various scriptures and spiritual teachings in order
to extract their essence. Though separated by thousands of years and
by thousands of miles apart, the essence of the various scriptures
and teachings is the same, and the masters describe similar
experiences.

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SECOND SIGN

In the past, the masters stayed hidden. Now many masters have
come into the open; their character and behavior are available for
observation much of the time. To the abnormal man, they are utter
fools, for they behave in a diametrically opposite manner. The
abnormal man desires to attain satisfaction instantly and effortlessly.
But each master does the work of twenty men daily, year after year,
decade after decade, and what do they getinsults, ridicule, abuses,
persecutions and executions. The older they get, the harder they
work. Through it all, the peace, joy, compassion and wisdom they
emanate are palpable and increasingly so. If they are not
continuously sustained by a supremely stronger power, can they
hold up?
THIRD SIGN

In the past, when disciples encountered various experiences,


they were told that these experiences were illusions and advised to
go through with them to avoid getting stuck. Now many men
treading the way are willing to reveal the various stages of their
experiences in detail, and many are willing to subject themselves to
stringent and rigorous scientific investigations. Further, numerous
researches into the paranormal, mystical, occult and transpersonal
have been carried out during the past thirty years. Even Ph.D.
programs in Transpersonal Psychology, psychology of the soul and
spirit, are available.
SCRIPTURAL ESSENCE

The essence of scriptural and spiritual teachings is the inherent,


undifferentiated oneness of everything. The various precepts, ethics
and morals are based on this truth. The need to practice equanimity,
discrimination, compassion and loving-kindness is also based on
this truth. If the man is one with everything, then there is only one
way to behaveequal compassion and loving-kindness toward
everything.

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LIMITATION OF THEORETICAL UNDERSTANDING

Though theoretical understanding of these teachings is vital, if


it is strictly theoretical, that is, if the man did not test and verify
them through practical experiments, how can he know that he has
truly understood them? If he applies his knowledge of equanimity
and discrimination to what he eats and drinks, for example, he will
understand this knowledge better than a decade of theoretical
analysis. At any rate, what is the use of knowledge if it is not
applied, if no benefit is gained? Worse, his knowledge often evokes
smugness and complacency.
Knowledge is static whereas the world is always changing. If a
square table can appear to take on an infinite number of different
shapes, depending on the relative position of the man, the truth of
equanimity, discrimination, compassion and loving-kindness is far
more fluid. His understanding of them must keep on getting
broader, deeper and subtler.
Further, the normal man understands them in a way that is
opposite to the abnormal man. These qualities as understood and
practiced by the normal man threaten the personality to the core. For
instance, compassion and loving-kindness to the body imply the
abstinence of indulgences that weaken it, the absence of activities
that harm it, and cultivation of activities that keep it healthy and
resilient.

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42
STEP THREE
ASANA
(Physical Posture)

Here the man strives to anchor his observation on the movement and
touch sensations. Initially he can begin with dynamic poses, such as
the sun salutation. Later he can add static poses into his practice and
anchor his observation on touch sensations. When he anchors his
observation, he keeps the warrior-self active.
Limited Observation
At this point, the man cannot intentionally observe more than
one object or stimulus simultaneously. Initially if he can
continuously observe the stimulus from one small area for several
seconds, he has performed well. If he is practicing correctly, he will
experience much active conflict and tension because numerous
reactions or impressions are striving to attract his observation, but
he cannot observe their types or contents. It is as if he clings tightly
to a tree, to the point of squeezing his eyes shut, because many
people are striving to drag him away. Therefore, he experiences
much active conflict and tension, but does not know who are
dragging him.
Excessive Effort
When the man strives to anchor his observation, he may
deliberately knit his eyebrows and clench his jaws, assuming that
these actions will help him to concentrate, but they definitely will
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not. Nevertheless, if his eyebrows are knitted and his jaws are
clenched due to habitual reactions, then he must allow them to
happen. The aim is to anchor his observation at all costs in order to
have a reference point to guide him. As for the tension due to
habitual reactions, he can deal with it later. Of course, if he can
anchor his observation with less excessive force, he will be able to
concentrate longer.
Sensory Observation
When the man practices, his body will react to these
unaccustomed movements. Some muscles will stretch and some
others will con-tract, resulting in tension and pain. Although he is
free to choose any part of the body to anchor his observation, it is
better to anchor it on the most painful part. The pain helps to trap
the observation. It also allows him to monitor the painful area to
avoid injuring it, thereby increasing his sensory observational ability
and sensitizing his sense of touch.
If he anchors his observation elsewhere, he is compelled to
ignore the painful area. It is possible for the pain to keep increasing
bit by bit and to keep ignoring it until it becomes severe, but still
unobserved, then severe injury may result. This phenomenon is
common. For instance, is it possible for a man to have a tumor as
big as a grapefruit in any part of his body without a long period of
numerous palpable adverse effects? It is certainly impossible, yet in
many cases, the tumor remains undiscovered for a long time if it is
discovered at all. For instance, the late anthropologist and generalist
Gregory Bateson had a grapefruit-sized malignant tumor in his
lungs, but it was only discovered during an exploratory operation.
What about the innumerable less severe cases? Indeed, it is difficult
to exaggerate mans ignorance and blindness toward his inner
conditions and external circumstances.
Kinesthetic Observation
The man will experience tension when the muscles contract or
stretch, but it is difficult to distinguish whether they are contracted
or stretched. When he bends his body forward, his reason tells him
that he is contracting the front muscles and stretching the back. But
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when he practices the Corpse pose, that is, lying still on the floor,
and attempts to observe the reactions, he will find it difficult to
distinguish between the two. Therefore, when he practices the
Corpse pose, while anchoring his observation on the most intense
reaction, he must attempt to distinguish the reactions of the muscles.
Besides making the practice more interesting, it helps to trap his
observation. Further, he learns to be more observant kinesthetically,
thereby sensitizing his kinesthetic organs. As he progresses, he will
observe increased varieties of movement and touch sensations.
Asana in Activity
If the man always crosses his right leg over the left, he has
unbalanced the body. Therefore, he can strive to balance it by
crossing his left leg over the right. If he does, he will be tensed up,
uncomfortable and awkward, another great opportunity to experience the adverse reactions. In general, the most efficient way, which
uses the least amount of force, is to sit with both feet on the ground.
Nonetheless, it is useful to cross his leg periodically, with the right
over the left, and vice versa. It keeps the muscles flexible.
If he always plays badminton with his right hand, then he can
learn to play with the left. If he wishes to burn calories, he will find
that playing with the left hand will burn more calories. He will be
tired faster, and his heart will beat faster. If his peers jeer and
ridicule him for playing badly, it is even better. If he can persistently strive to play with the left hand, it will balance and loosen his
body and personality significantly. Further, his observation will be
stronger, and he will learn much about his movement and touch
sensations.
Unbalanced All Round
At present, numerous kinds of backpacks are available, ranging
from small, cute backpacks carried by teenage girls to huge, sturdy
backpacks carried by soldiers and hikers, but none for the poor
businessman. The man who designs a backpack to match a business
suit will definitely make millions of dollars. Further, he will be
helping to prevent accidents because two free hands can react better
and faster to danger. He will also be helping to remove lopsided and
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hunched shoulders. To the designersinstead of endlessly pandering to vanity, what about taking up this worthy challenge for a
change? Ah, the poor man, he is unbalanced from right to left, front
to back. In the meantime, he can improvise by carrying his suitcase
with the other hand.
Reaction upon Reaction
If the man can perform the yogic poses and these activities
without reacting to them, he is beginning to balance himself. For
example, if he carries his suitcase with the left hand instead of the
usual right hand, he will usually react to this unaccustomed action
by pushing up his left shoulder because his left shoulder has already
accustomed itself to be higher than his right shoulder. If he is
willing to experience the active conflict and tension of letting the
suitcase pull down the left shoulder, then he will eventually become
more balanced.
It will take a while to distinguish between the unaccustomed
action on the body and the tendency to react to it. In general,
unaccustomed action causes tension, discomfort and awkwardness,
so he reacts to this action in order to remove them. If he succumbs
to this tendency to remove them, he is unbalancing himself further.
On the other hand, if he is willing to experience this tension,
discomfort and awkwardness, the body and personality will become
loose and balanced, and he will experience pleasurable impressions,
but he must not cling to them, otherwise he will become unbalanced
again, in a reverse way.
Because an action is simply a reaction of a preceding action,
talking in terms of action and reaction quickly leads to confusion.
Putting it simply, the man must act in such a way that will cause
tension, discomfort and awkwardness, but he must not act in any
way that will remove them. Still, he must learn to act wisely;
otherwise, he may become more unbalanced. For example, if he
carries a heavier suitcase with his usual right hand, he will suffer,
but this suffering will only unbalance him further. The need to be
constantly vigilant and discriminating cannot be overemphasized.
One moment an action is beneficial, the next moment it can be
harmful
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Due to this changeability and the fluidity of the entities and


attributes pegged down by static terms and concepts, some of what
is written will appear contradictory. For instance, it is written earlier
that at stage one of the way the man cannot perceive the reactions,
how can he discriminate when he cannot perceive? Therefore, he
must strive to analyze his experience after observation practice. In a
way, he must strive to create an upward loop between analysis and
observation practice, using analysis to enhance practice and practice
to enhance analysis. As mentioned earlier, success can only come
from the strength and skill acquired through innumerable experiments, trials, mistakes and failures. At stage two of the way, a
significant amount of this difficulty will disappear. At that stage, he
must strive to increase his power of discrimination. Yet it is not
absolutely true that at stage one of the way he cannot discriminate
and perceive. Everything must be taken relatively, in terms of
degree.

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43
STEP FOUR
PRANAYAMA
(Regulation of the Breath)

When the man has mastered step three to a certain extent, then
initially he can reduce it by a few minutes and replace it with step
four. Step four is an extension of step three.
Here he strives to anchor his observation on finer movement
and touch sensations. In general, when he is at ease, his breathing
tends to be slow, even and deep. But when he is tense, it tends to be
rapid, erratic and shallow. When the muscles of the lungs are
erratically contracted, the lungs take in less air per breath; therefore,
the breathing rate must increase to compensate. Because breathing is
finer than physical poses, it reflects the inner conditions more
closely, helping him to observe them better. It also helps to weaken
the habitual reactions.
There are many breathing techniques, from slow and shallow to
rapid and deep. Initially, irrespective of which technique he uses, he
must learn to breathe slowly, gently and evenly even when the technique requires rapid breathing. In this case, he gradually increases
the breathing rate. When he breathes in an unaccustomed way, his
lungs, heart and other vital organs, in fact his entire body, are
affected. These organs may not be strong enough to handle drastic
changes. Because the reactions are finer and subtler, he may not be
able to observe them. Like asana, pranayama, particularly nadi
shodhan (alternate breathing), helps to balance the body and
personality.

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44
STEP FIVE
PRATYAHARA
(Controlling the Senses)

Here the man strives to anchor his observation on the sense stimuli.
He can anchor his observation by listening to music, that is, he
strives to hear the music continuously. If he hums and sings along
physically or mentally, then he is already lost in it, he is not hearing
it any longer. Therefore, initially it is easier to listen to neutral
sounds, such as the ticking of a clock. Later he can practice with
sounds he likes and strive to neutralize his attraction to them. He
can also practice with sounds he dislikes and strive to neutralize his
aversion to them.
He can practice with other sense stimuli in similar manners.
For instance, he can touch his own excrement, play with it, look at it
and smell it with continuous observation.
At stage one of the way, the vast majority of what he observes
is impressions; he can only observe a tiny number of stimuli
intermittently and briefly. Further, much of the time, he is unable to
distinguish between the impressions and the stimuli. In this step, he
strives to purify his distorted sense organs, making them sensitive,
keen and accurate.

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45
STEP SIX
DHARANA
(Concentration)

Here the level of difficulty increases considerably. In striving to


anchor his observation on a specific thoughta word, a sentence,
an image, or moving imagesthe man is directly struggling against
the feeling impressions. Because it is easier, initially it is better to
concentrate on the candlelight. In the earlier steps, he is indirectly
struggling against the feeling impressions. Nevertheless, if he has
practiced the earlier steps adequately, the feeling impressions would
have weakened somewhat.
He must expect immense active conflict and tension because
the personality is going chaotic. He has penetrated to the core of the
selves, their last and strongest defensedo or die. Actually, when
the going gets real tough, the selves always, without exception, run
away. Then they regroup and fight back again and againguerilla
warfare.

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46
STEP SEVEN
DHYANA
(Meditation)

In step seven, Insight (Vipassana) meditation will guide the man.


There are several maps of Insight meditation on the Web. The
Progress of Insight by Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw is probably the
most comprehensive. It is also useful to read up The Development
of Insight by Patrick Kearney, a brief and modern version.
In addition, the Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross,
also available on the Web, can be used to complement these two.
Mahasi Sayadaw focuses on movement, sense and thought
impressions whereas St. John focuses on feeling impressions.

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47
INSIGHT
ONE

Insight one is the transition point between stage one and stage two
of the way, so please look at the previous writing about these stages.
In the earlier steps, the appearance of awareness is shallow, very
brief and infrequent. Here it is already deep enough to perceive
glimpses of the thought impressions, but the man still cannot
perceive the beginning and ending of any thought impression, he
can only perceive the middle of it. At any rate, the appearance of
awareness is significant and frequent enough for him to realize the
existence of an entity that is different from the personality and that
can perceive it. Nonetheless, his perception is still vague and
nebulous.
Sudden Breakthrough
It is here that the man will usually experience a sudden,
significant breakthrough. How sudden, how significant, he will
experience this breakthrough depends on the way he struggles. If he
strives to increase the active conflict and tension rapidlylike
taking a steep path up a hillthen he will experience a sudden,
significant breakthrough.
When Zen disciples enter a secluded training period known as
sesshin in Japanese, they are attempting to climb up the hill by the
steepest path. They are required to sit still and work on a koan for
long hours throughout the day and night for many days. If they doze
off, they are beaten. They are even encouraged to forego sleep.

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Therefore, if they experience any breakthrough, it will be sudden


and significant.
Gradual Breakthrough
If, however, the man builds up the active conflict and tension
slowlylike climbing up a hill by walking along the road meant for
motor vehiclesthen the breakthrough will be less sudden and
significant. In this case, he simply passes through insight one into
insight two quite steadily.
There is no extra benefit in the sudden and significant breakthrough. True, he experiences a deeper state faster, but it will go
away later. If this state spurs him on, then it is useful. On the other
hand, he may cling to it, indulge in unnecessary rest, or become
impatient. Then he regresses. Moreover, it is more difficult to tread
the way by alternating between intense struggle and indulgence.
After all, the way itself fluctuates; intensifying the fluctuations will
only make it more difficult. At any rate, the tortoise beats the hare.

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48
INSIGHT
TWO

Here stage two of the way begins. The struggle becomes subtler.
The man has managed to neutralize the movement and sense
impressions considerably. The feeling impressions become predominant, but they have also weakened quite considerably, otherwise he will not be able to perceive them because he will be lost in
them.
He begins to perceive the beginning of a thought impression,
but still cannot perceive its ending. He perceives the first part of it,
and then his perception jumps to the first part of another thought
impression. In perceiving thoughts, he identifies with the perceiver;
therefore, he knows he is the perceiver, not the personality. Thus,
insight two is also the beginning of the insightpurification by
overcoming doubt.
Decreasing Warrior-Self, Increasing Perceiver
When the warrior-self is stronger than the other active self of
the moment, then the perceiver can appear. But it can only appear if
the warrior-self is willing to decrease. For example, assuming the
warrior-self has fourteen units of force and the other active self has
ten units, if all the fourteen units are anchored on a point, then there
is no perceiver although the man can observe the point continuously
with little struggle.
If, however, he anchors only twelve units on the point, the
other two units become awareness and therefore can perceive other
impressions. As the perceiver becomes bigger, it can perceive more
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impressions, their types and contents more clearly, enabling him to


handle them more effectively. More important, the more the number
of impressions is perceived; the more the impressions are neutralized. The deeper they are perceived, the faster they are neutralized. Thus, in insight two, if he practices correctly, his progress
will increase rapidly. Therefore, besides striving to anchor his
observation longer, he must also strive to expand his perception.
Of course, if he can anchor ten units on the point, that is, if he
can match the force of the other active self moment to moment, it
will be the most effective. In maintaining the active conflict and
tension at their highest, he is neutralizing the most number of
conflicting impressionswith four units of energy instead. But that
will take many years to master somewhat. Thus, the razor's edge
gets sharper.

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49
CONCENTRATION
VERSUS
MEDITATION

Here is an appropriate place to discuss the difference between


concentration and meditation. For an Insight meditator, practicing
concentration is merely to provide an anchor and a reference point
to practice Insight meditation. For him, concentration is like digging
a hole for a few feet into the ground. Then Insight meditation digs
deeper and widens the diameter of the hole simultaneously. That is
to say, the man strives to anchor his observation longer and to
expand his perception simultaneously. Further, whatever capability
he has attained during formal practice is integrated into his daily
activities. In so doing, he experiences deep concentration states
slower, but he has a more stable foundation. Of course, he can dig
for many feet before widening the hole.
Pure Concentration
The man, however, may continuously dig deeper without
attempting to widen the hole at all. In this case, he does not practice
meditation; he practices pure concentration. That is to say, he keeps
on increasing the length and intensity of anchoring his observation
on a point, or on a particular object, all the time. Thus, he acquires a
gigantic point-self, which eventually absorbs all the force of the
personality. He contracts himself into a point. He manages to
protect himself from inner conditions and external circumstances by
burying himself in an underground hole, a hundred feet deep. Not
even an atomic bomb can harm him now.
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In a way, he becomes a black hole, sucking in all the attention


to spew it out into another dimensiona more powerful dimension.
In so doing, he may exhibit supernatural power. But is he controlling this power? Or is this power controlling him? If everybody
and everything controls him in this physical dimension, can he
control anything in that more powerful dimension? He has simply
put himself in a far worse state. How long can he maintain that state
before he devitalizes his body and goes into delirium?
Three Advantages of Insight Meditation
FIRST, the man does not need to withdraw himself from his
everyday activities completely. It is enough if he can allocate a few
hours for formal practice because Insight meditation can be practiced under all circumstances throughout the day.
Initially he may need many hours of formal practice to stabilize
himself. As he progresses, he will progress even faster if he reduces
his formal practice and increases his practice under adverse circumstances. The only time he may have to isolate himself is at the later
part of step six, that is, concentration, in order to protect his family
from his chaotic state and to prevent his family from dissuading
him. Even then, it is only necessary if he decides to go all out.
SECOND, he can easily discern whether he is progressing or not.
If he is, he will be more at ease with everybody and everything; he
will be less easily irritated or offended. It is possible to have the
ability to concentrate for many hours a day and still be easily
irritated and offended the moment he stops concentrating, because
concentration only displaces the force, it does not transform the
force into energy. Instead of experiencing deep concentration states
earlier, he actually gains something more enduring and beneficial.
At any rate, the aim is to remove conflict and tension. Deep
concentration states and psychic power are actually hindrances.
THIRD, he can progress more evenly, steadily and safely
because there is no drastic discordant between formal practice and
everyday activities. Sogyal Rinpoche says:

I have found that modern spiritual practitioners lack the


knowledge of how to integrate their meditation practice
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with everyday life. I cannot say it strongly enough: to


integrate meditation in action is the whole ground and
point and purpose of meditation Whenever I talk about
meditation to my students, I always stress the necessity to
practice it with resolute discipline and one-pointed
devotion, at the same time, I always tell them how
important it is to do it in as inspired and as richly creative
a way as possible.
By the way, Soto Zen can be considered Insight meditation
because it is primarily applied to everyday conflict and tension
while Rinzai Zen primarily uses koan to activate the conflicting
forces artificially. Under a competent master and the ability to
endure immense conflict and tension, Rinzai Zen is powerful. If the
man practices on his own, however, he is better off practicing Soto
Zen or Insight meditation.

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50
INSIGHT
THREE

Here the thought impressions do not automatically evoke the


movement and sense impressions any longer. That is, the bands
connected to the movement and sense impressions are almost
completely neutralized. Of course, this is true for only a few thought
impressions initially. The feeling impressions have weakened even
further, and the thought impressions begin to predominate.
Now the man can perceive the beginning of a thought
impression right through its ending, with a tiny gap in between the
thought impressions. The primary challenge is to keep widening this
gap, that is, to keep weakening the connecting bands between
thought impressions. He must continue striving until none of the
thought impressions automatically evokes another impression
regardless of type.
Adverse Circumstances
When he has advanced further, he has managed to still the
horse considerably under usual circumstances. Now he can strive to
still the horse under adverse circumstances. He can meditate
throughout the night in a graveyard alone. He can stay among
people who usually irritate him no end. He can care for the sick,
aged or dying. But he must not overestimate his strength. If he
pushes himself far too much, he may find it difficult to recover.
Putting himself for an hour in any of these circumstances will be
sufficient initially. There are innumerable ways he can push himself
further.
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Run Without Swinging


In addition, he can strive to make the horse run or stop, turn left
or right, at will. For example, he can strive to run with his hands
hanging limply beside him. He will not find it difficult because he is
only primarily neutralizing the bands connected to the movement
impressions, which are already considerably weak. With a little
practice, he will be able to run more effectively. There is no need to
waste energy in swinging the arms back and forth. In what way does
it help him to run better?
Of course, before treading the way, if he strives to run with his
arms hanging down, he may not be able to run at all. If he can, he
will run awkwardly and expend more force than usual because he
has to expend additional force to compel his arms to stay down.
Think Without Thinking
A more effective and difficult challenge is to write because he
must strive to neutralize the bands between thought impressions
more intensely. If he is afraid to write and had not written a single
page voluntarily in his life, it is even better.
Initially he can strive to write for an hour at the same time
everyday. At the writing hour, he must compel himself to write
down all the impressions assailing him at the moment, without
caring a jot about what he is writing. At times, if he finds it difficult
to slow down his thoughts, then he can practice mantra writing,
which is writing down a mantra phrase repeatedly, in order to
anchor his observation on the words as they are being written.
Hence, initially he may find it easier to practice mantra writing
instead. Later he can anchor his observation anywhere he chooses.
At other times, he must strive mercilessly not to indulge in
thinking about writing in any way. Even if an idea that will cure
AIDS instantly or convert sand into gold appears, he must not cling
to it. Above all, he must not carry a notebook to jot down that idea
or any other ideas.
During the writing hour, he must not try to recall that idea. If it
appears, he must write it down, but he must not try to develop it. He
must not try not to develop it, too. In short, his entire aim is to write
down the thought impressions assailing him without trying to
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change them in any way and without caring about grammar and the
sentence structure. If there are few thought impressions, then he can
describe the other types of impressions and the stimuli that fall
within his observation. How can the soul work on the writing if the
personality is never quiet and always intruding? Hence, he must
strive to write without expectation. That is, he must be willing to
keep on writing even though he had written nothing but junk for a
long time, and he must write as diligently as if he is writing to save
his neck.
As he advances, he can increase the number of writing hours
and allow a little flexibility in the number of writing hours and the
time of writing. If useful material begins to appear substantially,
then he must change his writing practice, that is, he must be willing
to experiment, in order to clothe this material appropriately.
Writing is merely one of the innumerable activities the man can
incorporate into his struggle. At insight three, the soul is already
big; hence, it is already playing a significant role in his life. He does
not have to care about what to do or where to go. As he advances,
he will increasingly receive promptings from the soul. The challenge is to be opened to these promptings and be willing to carry out
whatever task that is given him. As long as he is not sidetracked
from the actual aim, the nature of the task is immaterial simply
because he is struggling to work without any expectation.
A PERSONAL TASK

About writing practice, the author is writing about himself.


Witnessing the souls intelligence, which frequently amazes him, is
part of the reward. His personality will not be able to produce the
ideas in this book in a thousand years. They appear without any
effort or struggle. His task is to check and verify that these ideas
reflect the facts and evidence because the personality has a lot more
ideas. The personalitythat sly and insidious serpentwill wriggle
its way in and plant its seeds somewhere. Therefore, he must strive
to distinguish between them.
Also, he must strive to express these ideas clearly and
coherently. In this aspect, he still has a long way to go. Even then,
he is also amazed at his writing ability because he was extremely
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averse to writing. Even at insight three, initially he found it difficult


to write even for one hour. Undoubtedly, throughout the writing
practice, he is increasingly guided by the soul.
Perhaps the task of writing this book is given to the author
because he has the necessary material. His desire to unravel the
mystery and problem of life compels him to read, ponder, observe
and experiment for many years. But previously the writer, that is,
the soul, was asleep. As a result, this book is merely a side effect of
the struggle to remove conflict and tension.

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51
INSIGHT
FOUR

This is the third stage of the way. The personality is completely


neutralized. The body is normal, without any permanently tense
muscles. The soul is complete and whole. The man experiences
harmony, peace, joy and confidence. His awareness is like the sun,
shining equally and brightly in all directions.
Regarding this insight, St. John of the Cross says, it is like to
one that has come forth from a rigorous imprisonment. . . . For its
imagination and faculties are no longer bound. . . .

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52
LOOKING
BACK

Non-Constancy of Tension
Earlier it is mentioned that eventually the degree of conflict and
tension within the personality becomes maximum and constanta
constant maximum. It is not true. It is done in order to simplify the
subject matter lest it becomes too unwieldy. So please continue to
consider it as true until this point. By now, it must be obvious that
nothing can stay constant; nothing is permanent, except change.
If the reader finds it helpful, he may consider it an average
constant maximum. That is, if the personality is rigid, its tension
fluctuates closely around this average; if it is loose, then its tension
fluctuates more widely around this average. Further, energy is not
limited to a constant amount; it is inexhaustible. The amount that is
absorbed by the man depends on his ability to expend it, as the
personality or soul or both, through the body.
In the long term, the average constant maximum can change. If
the man constantly avoids struggle and difficulty, physically and
mentally, then his body and brain atrophy and weaken. Hence, the
average constant maximum decreases, and he increasingly gets tired
after only holding on to a little tension, after only expending a little
force, a little effort. Naturally, he can only absorb a little energy.
And if energy is continually expended through permanent muscular
tension, it will gradually be reduced because the body will gradually
be weakened by the permanent muscular tension.
Looking at treading the way from this angleit is the struggle
to remove the obstruction from the body to allow energy to flow
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into it freely and use it without hindrance. In other words, the body
must become a fit instrument for the soul. As the man advances, he
absorbs more energy; the tension increases, and only a strong,
flexible and resilient body can withstand it and act as a conduit.
Comparing the body to an elastic tube, as an increasing amount of
water passes through the tube, it is stretched, increasing its diameter
and tension. The body is also like a radio. A powerful radio can
receive signals from many broadcasting stations and convert them
into sounds clearly.
FREQUENCIES OF ENERGY

Valerie Hunt, a professor in kinesiology, discovers that an


electromyograph can register energy radiating from the body. Using
this discovery, she finds that if a subjects attention is primarily
focused on the material world, the frequencies of his energy field
tend to hover around the bodys biological frequencies, about 250
cps (cycles per second). In addition to these frequencies, subjects
who are psychic or have healing abilities also have frequencies of
around 400 cps to 800 cps in their fields, and mystics even have
frequencies of above 900 cps in their fields.
It is discovered that the higher the frequency of a wave, the
more energy it contains. It is also discovered that subatomic
particles with higher frequencies can illuminate and change the
direction and speed of subatomic particles of lower frequencies, but
not vice versa. Put plainly, the man is controlled by what he cannot
observe, what is formless to him is stronger than him.
Many people who had spent a little time with an enlightened
man frequently mentioned that they experienced harmony, peace
and tranquility in his presence. It is because his harmonious,
stronger frequencies forcibly quieted down their chaotic, weaker
frequencies. But if they had spent a prolonged time with him, they
will experience impressions of being exposed, unmasked, naked
because the quieted impressions will eventually build up sufficient
force to rebel now and then, thus compelling them to notice the
conflicting impressions, which they have so desperately striven to
bury.
Those treading the way will find this condition useful. The
others will run away and probably condemn and blame him for their
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discomfort. In this case, they are right; he is responsible. Is it


surprising that spiritual masters are everywhere abused, condemned,
persecuted and even executed? Wherever they go, even if they did
not speak a word or lift a finger, they will still rudely jolt others
awake.
Progress of Perception
Before insight one, the man cannot perceive his thoughts. In his
daily activities, he usually does not even notice his thoughts. His
thoughts automatically lead to actions unless checked by opposing
desire. A common instancehe thinks of leaving a meeting, but he
is compelled to stay. If his thought of leaving evokes quite a strong
desire to leave, he will keep glancing at the door, point his feet and
may even point his entire body toward it, but he may not notice his
movements and changes. If his desire to leave is strong enough, then
he will notice these movements and changes and therefore his desire
to leave because the strong conflicting desires result in active
conflict and tension.
In a way, this is similar to the research study by Benjamin
Libet and Bertram Feinstein. This is why the subjects only noticed
the intention to pressthe thought of pressingthe button only
after they had already pressed it. They did not know about this
simply because there was no independent entity to perceive the
sequence of actions and reactions. If they did not experience any
sufficiently strong active conflict and tension, they would not even
notice anything throughout the process because their attention was
always lost into their last reaction.
Apropos of the above, Michael Talbot reported that studies
have shown that one and a half seconds before we decide to move
one of our muscles, such as lift a finger, our brain has already
started to generate the signals necessary to accomplish the
movement.
As for Minsky, because there was no opposing desire, he
noticed nothing even though he was manipulated into an unusual
awkward positionno active conflict and tension therefore sound
asleep. Or rather, the conflicting desires were habitually displaced;
consequently, the conflict and tension were passive and therefore
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unnoticed. When he was lecturing for the first time, he was probably
self-conscious, which is merely the noticing of conflicting
impressions, compelling him to experience impressions of being
exposed, unmasked, naked.
At insight two, the man can perceive and neutralize the first
part of his thoughts, but still cannot perceive and neutralize them
completely. That is, he can perceive his intention before acting on it.
His thoughts still automatically lead to actions unless checked by
opposing desire.
At insight three, he can perceive and neutralize some of his
thoughts completely, enabling him not to act on them and not to
displace any force. That is, at times his awareness is strong enough
to neutralize some of the thoughts completely. But if there is no
active warrior-self at other times, his awareness will still be converted into attention somewhat, and his thoughts will still lead to
actions. In observation practice, the warrior-self actually serves as
opposing desire, checking the other desires.
Toward the end of insight three, at times his awareness may
even be strong enough to stand on its own. Awareness is vulnerable
but not necessary weak. Here vulnerability implies the absence of
defenses, not weakness. When awareness is small and weak, the
warrior-self must protect it, otherwise not. In fact, only the strong
can be vulnerable; the weak is always hiding behind defenses.
In short, the man can only perceive after neutralizing the
conflicting impressions, that is, conflict and tension, and he can only
notice the conflicting impressions when they are active. Otherwise,
he cannot perceive or notice.
For this reason, on the one hand, constantly immersed in
passive conflict and tension, he finds life tedious, dreary, and time
seems to hang heavy. On the other hand, due to his inability to
perceive and notice, apart from tedium and dreariness, he is oblivious to everything, including the passing of time. Hence, during the
rare moments when he happens to notice it, time seems to move so
fast that it seems to him as if he was still only a child yesterday.

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53
RELATIONSHIP
OF
AN ABNORMAL MAN

The relationship between a sham meditation instructor and his sham


students is used to illustrate the relationship of an abnormal man.
Although there are innumerable meditation instructors, only a few
are genuine. Further, although innumerable groups meet everyday to
meditate, only a few groups are genuinely meditating.
The members of each group are usually instructed by the
instructor to observe effortlessly each impression as it comes, stays
and goes. That is, to allow each impression to arise, stay as long as
it likes, and disappear without the slightest attempt to control it, as if
the impression has nothing to do with him. The instructor and the
members are simply deluding themselves if they believe they are
able to do so without many years of strenuous and difficult struggle.
Sogyal Rinpoche says:
It is extremely hard to rest undistracted in the nature of
mind, even for a moment, let alone to self-liberate a single
thought or emotion as it rises. We often assume that
simply because we understand something intellectually, or
think we do, we have actually realized it. This is a great
delusion. It requires the maturity that only years of
listening, contemplation, reflection, meditation, and
sustained practice can ripen.

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The instructor is like the man who happens to come across a


professor of mathematics who claims to solve most calculus
problems with a glance, prompting the deluded man to gather a
group of people and start teaching them to solve calculus problems
with a glance. The man not only assumes he can also do likewise;
he even assumes he can teach others to do. As for his students, they
assume the man can do and teach; they also assume that they are
learning and progressing. Because nobody is required to provide
tangible proof of his ability, everybody deludes himself into
assuming he is able to do and whatever he desires to assume.
In short, the abnormal man endlessly deludes himself regarding
other people and himself. He also endlessly deludes other people
regarding himself. This compelling delusional power is fuelled by
the immense desire for instant, effortless gratification and by the
immense fear of active conflict and tension.

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54
RELATIONSHIP
OF
A WARRIOR-MAN

When there is the warrior-self, the man will relate to other people as
the warrior-man. That is, he treats other people the way the warriorself treats the other selves.
Remember, the warrior-self has the same nature as the other
selves. They have the same mother, the personality; thus, they are
all brothers and sisters. The warrior-self definitely does not hate the
other selves. In fact, it is so compassionate toward them that it is
willing to suffer to remove their sufferings.
An example, imagine the man and his two-year-old child in a
forest, and a poisonous snake bites his child. The man will tightly
grab hold of his child and cut his flesh to drain the poison away
although his child may be beating and cursing him, out of ignorance
and pain. Naturally, the man will attempt to cause as little pain as
possible. Later, maybe years later, the child may realize that it was
out of love that his father did what he had done, and then he will be
grateful to him.
Hence, the warrior-man must not expect any gratitude from
other people, particularly those close to him. They will be affected
most and therefore will criticize and condemn him most. If they are
grateful to him, it will be years later. Anyway, the man treading the
way strives not to seek for any recognition irrespective of what he
has done.

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Way of Aloneness
Further, the warrior-self never directly attacks the other selves.
It only strives to fulfill its own duty, which is to anchor its observation. Hence, the warrior-man must not attack anyone even if he is
attacked. He must only strive to tread the way without letting
anyone prevents him from doing so.
If he can tread the way without anyone knowing about it, it is
the best. Anyway, the way is one of aloneness. If he is practicing
correctly, even if a thousand people practice together with him, he
will still be alone. If he is not staying alone, then he can just tell his
household members that he is striving to reduce conflict and
tension, leaving it at that. And that is what the way is all about.
Aloneness is the opposite of loneliness. Loneliness is due to
contraction, separation and exclusion. Hence, the further he
advances, the less he will experience loneliness irrespective of
circumstances.
Leaving Others Alone
Regardless of how crucial and necessary the man believes in
treading the way, he must not try to convince or help others. He
must not succumb to this desire regardless of how strong it is. How
can he help others when he is still blind and weak?
Many preachers and evangelists had fallen because of this
mistake. It is unlikely that all of them had intentionally used religion
to gain wealth and power. At least some of them strongly desired to
help others, but they were dragged into the pit because they were
still weak. When a preacher is still unknown, nobody cares about
him. But when he becomes influential, then many people will strive
to manipulate him by offering desirable gifts to him or threatening
him. The first commandment of Jesus must come first. The higher
he climbs, the deeper and broader the foundation must be.
Even more imperative, the man must strive to restrain his
colossal desire to experience impressions of superiority and
importance. Teaching, advising, preaching, correcting and criticizing are the most common actions taken to experience impressions
of superiority and importance because these actions allow him to
experience these impressions without any labor on his part. But if he
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strives to teach himself, he must labor very hard and still experience
impressions of impotency and nothingness. Is it surprising that
everybody is an expert at teaching others, but incompetent at
teaching himself?
This colossal desire to teach others can only be neutralized by
his merciless struggle to teach himself. In so doing, he will realize
the colossal difficulty to teach himself and therefore the colossal
absurdity and foolishness of attempting to teach others. Further, he
will be liberated from the colossal pain due to his colossal desire to
teach, particularly his colossal propensity to be offended and
irritated by the heedlessness of others toward his teaching.
He does not have to worry about helping others. When he is
ready, when he is strong and knows how to help, he will be
compelled to help whether he likes it or not. Instead of preaching
out of desire, it is safer to be like Jonah. It is safer to be compelled
to teach. When Sri Ramakrishna told his disciple, Vivekananda, that
he would teach people, Vivekananda replied he would not do any
such thing. His master retorted, Your very bones will do it.
Well, Vivekananda ended up teaching all over America and
Europe.

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55
RELATIONSHIP
OF
A NORMAL MAN

When there is the soul, he will relate to other people as the normal
man. That is, he treats other people the way the soul treats the
selves. The way the normal man treats other people can be
compared to how Carl Rogers treats his clients and how Maria
Montessori treats her pupils.
Carl Rogers
In On Becoming a Person, Carl Rogers gives a detailed account
of his experiences and discoveries. This book can also be useful at
the beginning of the way because the warrior-self strives to prepare
the way for the soul by striving to adopt the attributes of the soul,
particularly the attribute of treating all impressions with equal
regard.
Rogers does not write about the soul, spirit or god. To him, his
own direct experience has the highest authority. He calls the entity
that is more intelligent than all his accumulated knowledge, training
and skills his total organism. In fact, he develops the method
client-centered therapyonly after he had tried a great many of
the known methods and found them futile and inconsequential.
CLIENT-CENTERED THERAPY

Essentially, Rogers finds that when he unconditionally accepts


his clients and his own psychological state and seeks to understand
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his clients state, then change and constructive personal development will invariably occur. . . .
In a way, Rogerss awareness serves to illuminate the clients
impressions, helping the client to observe them. It is like a one-way
mirror used in an interrogation room. Rogers, outside the room, can
look through the mirror as if it is a piece of transparent glass. When
his client, inside the room, looks at the mirror, he sees his own
reflection, that is, he observes his own impressions. His projection is
reflected back to him.
Initially the client will react to his desire for approval and fear
of disapproval. When, however, Rogerss unconditional warm
regard for him and absence of approval and disapproval no matter
what he says or does eventually breaks through, then his defenses
come down. Because he is never praised or criticized, his reactions
slow down, enabling him to observe them. More important, in the
absence of praise and criticism, his attachment to or rejection of
these reactions weakens.
An example of a rudimentary client-centered therapy in everyday life: if John teases Janet and Janet reacts with annoyance, John
will probably keep on teasing her because his desire to annoy her is
satisfied. If Janet attempts to ignore him, it will only provoke John
to intensify his teasing. But if Janet calmly looks at him or calmly
carries on with her work, Johns behavior will be reflected back to
him like a mirror. He will observe his silliness, become uneasy and
uncomfortable; hence, he will cease to tease. It does not bring
pleasure anymore but pain. This technique of neutralizing the
actions of others can be applied effectively to other interactions,
such as indulgence in self-pity, pride or anger.
EXPERIENCE OF ONENESS

At times when the client is also opened enough, Rogers says,


When there is this complete unity, singleness, fullness of experiencing in the relationship, then it acquires the out-of-this-world
quality which many therapists have remarked upon. . . . In these
moments there is . . . a timeless living in the experience which is
between the client and me.
People under dire circumstances may also have this type of
experience occasionally. For a moment, the intense unfamiliarity of
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their circumstances causes them to drop their defenses, so they


become vulnerable and open, and there is soul contact, one soul
with another soul. It may last for a brief moment, but the effect is
highly significant. The bond between them may last for a lifetime. If
the contact is strong enough, one man may gladly risk his life to
save the other. Contact between selves, no matter how seemingly
significant and intense at the time it happened, quickly pales into
nothingness with time, as fickle as the existence of the selves.
Yet the normal man is attached to no one. Not only is an
abnormal man attached to people he likes, he is more attached to
people he dislikes, unable to cease thinking about them. In short, he
clings to pain more than pleasure.
THERAPEUTIC PROGRESS

Regarding the process that is activated within the client, Rogers


writes, In general, the evidence shows that the process moves away
from fixity, remoteness from feelings and experience, rigidity of
self-concept, remoteness from people, impersonality of functioning.
It moves toward fluidity, changingness, immediacy of feelings and
experience, acceptance of feelings and experience, tentativeness of
constructs, discovery of a changing self in ones changing experience, realness and closeness of relationships, a unity and integration
of functioning.
MASTER AND DISCIPLE

In a way, a spiritual masters relation with his disciple is


similar to Rogerss relation with his client, but far more potent. In
Zen Mind, Beginners Mind by Shunryu Suzuki, one of his disciples,
Trudy, says:
A roshi is a person who has actualized that perfect
freedom which is the potentiality for all human beings. . . .
His whole being testifies to what it means to live in the
reality of the present. Without anything said or done, just
the impact of meeting a personality so developed can be
enough to change anothers whole way of life. . . .
Because he is just himself, he is a mirror for his students.
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When we are with him we feel our own strengths and


shortcomings without any sense of praise or criticism from
him.
Maria Montessori
Maria Montessori first became famous for transforming sixty
ignorant and frightened little devils in a slum district, San Lorenzo
quarter in Rome, occupied by the poorest class of the entire city,
into angels within a year. This magical act attracted many people to
San Lorenzo quarter to witness for themselves the transformations.
What is so amazing about the Montessori class? Initially the
pupils are encouraged or deterred, but only with the minimum
necessary. A frightened child is encouraged just enough to get him
going. A child who disturbs the class is deterred just enough to
make him stop. Later, encouragement and deterrent come to a stop.
Though lessons are given, the pupils are not compelled to practice
them. At the end of each lesson, they may do what they like or do
nothing, but whatever they do, they are supported unobtrusively and
quietly. Of course, this is just a rudimentary description of the
Montessori method.
PERFECT CALM, MYSTERIOUS HAPPINESS

The peace and joy they exhibited are palpable even to visitors.
Gabriel Marcel, the famous French writer, speaks of the astonishment which I felt when, for the first time, I visited a small
Montessori school at Sevres. What struck me mostit is not too
much to say, what caused me a profound emotionwas to see with
my own eyes in this school, children not only working with perfect
calm, but children who were in the grip of a mysterious happiness.
A mysterious happinessI repeat the wordsfor I would have
them penetrate your souls like a melody.
INTELLIGENCE AND HARMONY

Many of these pupils, ages from four to five years, spontaneously begin to writewithout having been taught. In an appropriate environment, their intelligence automatically starts to acquire
useful information and skills.
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As for harmony, let a Montessori directress speak. She told E.


M. Standing, author of Maria Montessori: Her Life and Work, that
one of her pupils in a class of forty said to her, You know, Miss
Willson, except to mark the register and see about the dinner-money
there isnt really any need for you to come to school at all, as we do
everything by ourselves.
Miss Willson takes this as the highest compliment. Indeed it is.
She is able to efface herself by becoming as one of the pupils and
still remain as a directress. She is present without being present. She
teaches without teaching and guides without guiding. The Tao Te
Ching says, Of the best rulers . . . when their task is accomplished,
their work done, the people all remark, We have done it ourselves. And By doing nothing everything is done. He who
conquers the world often does so by doing nothing, simply because
he works behind the scene, on the quiet.
There is no way she can achieve this if her personality is still
strong and unruly. Hence, there are numerous Montessori
directresses, but few genuine ones. Of course, there are powerful
Montessori methods, but only a genuine directress can wield them
effectively.

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To The Reader
The author is now experiencing the ending of insight three. He
is also experiencing some glimpses of insight four. Hence, he has
understated the normal mans abilities and attributes simply because
he is still not yet completely normal. The aim of what is written
previously is to attain the soul.
From here onward, what is written is primarily based on what
he has read and on his theoretical understanding. It is primarily to
point the way beyond the personality and to close the subject of this
book. Some of the previous terms and concepts will be modified
and expanded.

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56
INSIGHT FOUR
AGAIN

Insight four is known as the ten corruptions of insight. Has the man
struggled for many arduous years to arrive here to experience
corruptions? Well, the ten corruptions are brilliant light, mindfulness, knowledge, faith, rapture, tranquility, happiness, energy,
equanimity and subtle attachment. These are extremely fine states.
The personality does not have any accessed to these corruptions.
The rare flashes of the soul impressions the man may have experienced are just a tiny fraction of these states.
They are known as the ten corruptions because insight four is
only the intermediate stage; there is more distance to tread. Hence,
he must not assume that he has attained enlightenment and that he
can now rest and enjoy himself for eternity. Spiritual teachings state
that there is no rest; the struggle is endless. Here the soul
consolidates its control over the body and personality, preparing
itself for even more terrible struggle. Therefore, if the man clings to
these extremely desirable and fine states, he begins to regress.
Consequently, now he must struggle to avoid clinging to these soul
impressions. Here he can struggle to do more than one activity at the
same time and do them well.

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57
BEYOND
INSIGHT FOUR

Mission accomplished, the dark night of the personality is over; it is


dead. John the Baptist is also dead. When he was alive, Jesus ate,
drank and enjoyed himself, for his hour has not yet come. After
the transfiguration, Jesus set his face toward Jerusalemto die. The
dark night of the soul begins. The souls mission begins. Now it
must strive to overcome and then die.
The Spirit
Here the term spirit is introduced. The relation of the soul to
the spirit can be compared to the relation of a self to the soul. Just as
a self is a small confined soul, a soul is a small confined spirit. The
collection of all souls is equivalent to the personality.
The world is actually the confined spirit; it is the collection of
all souls. External objects are a thousand times more solid and vivid
than impressions because a soul is a thousand times more potent
than a self. That is, soul impressions are far more intense than
coarse impressions. This unbearable intensity blinds the abnormal
man and compels him to keep piling dirt upon dirt to shield himself
from it. Because he is shielded by coarse impressions, he cannot
perceive external objects, so they are formless to him.
The soul of the man must now become the warrior-soul in
order to neutralize the other souls, thereby freeing the confined
spirit. Now the man is a thousand times stronger than before, but as
he moves beyond insight four, he becomes a novice again. The spirit
is in embryo.
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Reaction of Conflicting Soul-Forces


When the man was lost within the personality, he was protected
from the soul-forces. Now that he had neutralized the personality,
which used to shield him from the world, he comes into direct
contact with soul-forces. The conflict among soul-forces is so potent
that their reactions will often move all the way down to the body
and affect it extremely more intensely than before.
St. Teresa of Avila writes:
My bodily sufferings were so intolerable that, though in
my life I have endured the severest sufferings of this kind,
none of them is of the smallest account by comparison
with what I felt then, to say nothing of the knowledge that
they would be endless and never ceasing. And even these
are nothing by comparison with the agony of my soul, an
oppression, a suffocation, and an affliction so deeply felt,
and accompanied by such hopeless and distressing misery,
that I cannot too forcibly describe it.
This is not merely the hysterical ranting of a self-indulgent
woman. Her bodily pains were simply the reactions of far deeper
pains. Everybody who treads the way must continually face
increasing conflict and tension. Besides that, there are transitional
stages whereby the conflict and tension increased more rapidly than
usual. The transition from stage one to stage two of the way is one
such transitional stage.
In the Dark Night of the Soul, St. John of the Cross describes
two dark nightsnight of the sense and night of the spirit. He
writes, The first purgation or night is bitter and terrible to sense. . .
. The second bears no comparison with it, for it is horrible and awful
to the spirit. . . .
Dark Night of the Soul corresponds with The Progress of
Insight. The night of the sense corresponds to the stage before
insight four, that is, the night of the personality. The night of the
spirit corresponds to the stage after insight four, that is, the night of
the soul in this book. In his first book, St. John describes the night
of the sense. Before he proceeds to give a detailed description of the
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night of the spirit in his second book, he also writes about insight
four in the first two chapters of his second book.
World-Creator
The manner the confined spirit creates the world can be
compared to the manner the personality creates the impressions. An
example, imagine an abnormal man walking alone through a
graveyard at midnight after watching a ghost movie. If his reactions
to the movie are mild, he notices the thought impressions of the
ghost. If his reactions are strong, then he feels its presence. If they
are stronger, then he sees and hears it. At its height, he is touched
and may even struggle with it.
The stronger the reactions, the more the impressions of the
ghost are stepped down to the coarser impressions. Hence,
impressions of the ghost become coarser. (If the mans thoughts
frequently evoke such strong impressions, particularly impressions
not normally noticed by others, then he is labeled a neurotic, a
psychotic, a schizophrenic, or by another fancy name.)
Just as the coarse impressions faded away when the selves are
neutralized, so the world will fade away when the souls are
neutralized. At insight four, the inner conflict is gone; the man has
acquired inner harmonythe first liberation. At enlightenment, the
entire conflict is gone; the man has acquired complete harmony
the second liberation.
At enlightenment, the man is conscious of nothing not because
he is unconscious, but because there is nothing to be conscious of.
He has attained pure awareness and oneness. About this state, in The
Science of Yoga, Taimini writes:
Each successive stage of unfolding of consciousness
increases tremendously its vividness and clarity, and
brings an added influx of knowledge and power. It is
absurd to suppose therefore that in the last state which
marks the climax of this unfolding, consciousness lapses
suddenly into a vague and nebulous state.

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Impeccable Action
Below is a tangible demonstration of an ability of a man who
can penetrate deeply into the void at will.
In Zen in the Art of Archery, Eugen Herrigel gives an account
of his practice. For years, he was required to draw the bow and hold
it at the point of highest tension indefinitely, without any intent to
release the shot and without aiming. For a long time he found it
impossible to hold it for more than a few moments.
His Master Kenzo Awa stressed that the shot does not depend
on the bow, but on the presence of mind, on the vitality and
awareness with which you shoot and that The hits on the target
are only the outward proof and confirmation of your purposelessness at its highest, of your egolessness, your self-abandonment,
or whatever you like to call this state. There are different grades of
mastery, and only when you have made the last grade will you be
sure of not missing the goal.
Herrigel replied, That is just what I cannot get into my head. I
think I understand what you mean by the real, inner goal which
ought to be hit. But how it happens that the outer goal, the disc of
paper, is hit without the archers taking aim, and that the hits are
only outward confirmations of inner eventsthat correspondence is
beyond me.
Master Awa answered, You are under an illusion if you
imagine that even a rough understanding of these dark connections
would help you. These are processes which are beyond the reach of
understanding.
To demonstrate what he meant, Master Awa shot at the target
twice in darkness. It was so dark that Herrigel could not even see
the outline of the target. When Herrigel switched on the light, he
discovered to his amazement that the first arrow was lodged full in
the middle of the black, while the second arrow had splintered the
butt of the first and ploughed through the shaft before embedding
itself beside it.
On critically surveying the shots, the Master said, The first
shot was no great feat, you will think, because after all these years I
am so familiar with my target-stand that I must know even in pitch
darkness where the target is. That may be, and I wont try to pretend
otherwise. But the second arrow which hit the firstwhat do you
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make of that? I at any rate know that it is not I who must be given
credit for this shot. It shot and It made the hit. Let us bow to the
goal as before the Buddha!
Is there any need to comment on the supremely impeccable and
harmonious action of Master Awa? Is it possible to make any
sensible comment? Anyway, probably he is still not perfect. Perhaps
perfection implies the ability to be that impeccable in all activities
and under all circumstances.
In Zen: Dawn in the West, Roshi Kapleau says:
Before awakening one can easily ignore or rationalize his
shortcomings, but after enlightenment this is no longer
possible; ones failings are painfully evident. Yet at the
same time a strong determination develops to rid oneself
of them. Even opening the Minds eye fully does not at
one fell swoop purify the emotions. Continuous training
after enlightenment is required to purify the emotions so
that our behavior accords with our understanding. This
vital point must be clearly understood.
For interested readers, The Holotropic Mind by Stanislav Grof
and Hal Zina Bennett contains numerous accounts of experiences
beyond insight four, that is, in the realm of the transpersonal. The
Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot contains numerous
research findings regarding people with paranormal abilities. Many
researchers and scientists find that the holographic model helps to
explain many mysterious phenomena of nature. Besides that, the
holographic model also helps to explain practically all the
transpersonal and paranormal experiences.

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58
EVOLUTION
IN
GENERAL

For a comprehensive description of evolution, please refer to the


books by Alice Bailey and Djwhal Khul. They are available on the
Web. Is their description accurate and true? Let the reader decide for
himself. They had written many books. If the reader is unfamiliar
with their writings, Esoteric Psychology II is probably the most
suitable book to begin.
Anyway, here is a distorted and an extremely brief description.
In the Beginning, there was the supreme spirit. But the
supreme spirit was inconceivably far away from the man, and he
could not have the slightest conception of its nature. Stepping down,
began with the spirit. So in the beginning, there was the spirit. It
was one, there was no other. It was formless and undifferentiated.
One day, an unimaginably horrendous thought came to its
head. Who could tell from where? If it had a head, then it must be a
twisted head. Maybe it felt lonely, or maybe it could not sit still at
home to enjoy perfect bliss, but had to create infinite conflict for
itself. Anyway, it decided to know itself. But how could it know
itself when there was nothing to see?
Involution
So the spirit decided to create a twin that was diametrically
opposite its own nature. Hence, it manifested that twin to be
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infinitely solid, manifold and differentiated. Now there were two.


Then each of these two began to divide and step down; hence,
innumerable twins were created. Naturally, the more they were
divided, the more diluted they became. The formless became less
formless; the solid became less solid. Finally, at the level of
subatomic particles, the twins become indistinguishable. Now the
formless is wave, and the solid is subatomic particle. And these two
are indistinguishable.
The downward movementinvolutionbegan with innumerable unknown entities. Further down, they are known as stones,
plants, animals and then man. Involution is completely unconscious.
Again, how it happened initially is unknown; later it is instinctive.
In man, it is mechanical.
Evolution
Man is the transition point. The upward movementevolution
begins when the man becomes conscious. As he moves up, he
must consciously experience all the experiences he had unconsciously sown. Hence, he reaps what he sows. He also begins to
unite the divided parts together. To do that, he must consciously
experience all the experiences of the divided parts.
He must first consciously experience the experiences he had
sown mechanically. In so doing, he begins to realize the soul. He
acquires the whole soul after he has consciously experienced all the
experiences of his present life since conception. Acquiring of the
soul is merely the first step up.
Beyond the soul level, he will begin to experience consciously
the experiences of other people, and then the animals, plants, stones
and so on. These are experiences of his past lives. Thus, the entire
world arises from his present and past lives.
Vanity of Vanities
Just as Narcissus gazes at his reflection, the spirit gazes at its
solid twin, the world; the soul gazes at its external surroundings; the
attention gazes at its impression. The gazing is the third aspect;
hence, the twins become the trinity.

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Everything is vain. Out of vanity, everything ends up creating


conflict and tension for itself. If the man is vain, it is because the
spirit is vain. If the man creates conflict, it is because the spirit
creates conflict. If the man desires to know, it is because the spirit
desires to know. Yes, blame everything on the spirit, but the man
himself is the spirit.
Man Is Everything
Because a self is only a tiny fraction of the soul and because
the abnormal man is only identified with the active self of the
moment, he may assume that he can only become a tiny fraction of
the normal man, but that is not true. An abnormal man is simply one
who lives in a tiny fraction of his entire being.
He becomes normal when he lives within his entire being, that
is, when he is conscious of all his past experiences since conception
simultaneously, as an abstract and synthetic whole, and when he is
conscious of all the external stimuli impinging on his body
simultaneously, as a solid and synthetic whole.
Likewise, the man is not just a tiny fraction of the spirit; he is
the entire spirit, no less. Hence, he is entirely responsible for
everything. Evolution will end only after he has willingly taken full
responsibility for everything and synthesized everything back into
one. Then the spirit will be fully satisfied because it will now know
itself thoroughly, down to the smallest subatomic particle. Then
conflict and tension will cease absolutely unless another horrendous
thought twists its head again.
During involution, the gargantuan desire of the spirit to know
itself compelled it to keep splitting and narrowing its awareness on a
smaller and smaller part of its twin. That is, the man keeps moving
from a big prison into a small prison that is within the big.
Evolution begins when attention is sick of gazing at its impression
and desires to gaze at something more solid and vivid. To do that, it
must satisfy the desire of the spirit, the desire to know itself. Hence,
attention must know itself thoroughly enough to enable it to free
itself from itself. In so doing, it begins to unite and expand. That is,
the man breaks out of the small prison to find himself in a big
prison. Initially he is liable to assume that he is absolutely free, but
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eventually he will realize that he is still in prison, albeit a bigger


one. He is only absolutely free when he arrives back to the spirit, to
the supreme spirit. In short, on the downward path, he shrinks into
nothing. On the upward path, he expands into everything.

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59
EVOLUTION
OF
MAN

Physical Man
When the man is predominantly physical, he is just above the higher
animals. As long as the basic needsfood, clothing, shelter, and
safetyof his family and himself are met, he is contented.
Therefore, if there is little change in external circumstances, he
faces little conflict. He lives from day to day and seldom worries
about the next day. His personality is composed primarily of
movement and sense impressions, but very few feeling and thought
impressions. Because for eon his instinctive life revolved around
food, shelter and safety, naturally his thought impressions
automatically focus on food, shelter and safety.
Emotional Man
Further along, when more thought impressions appear and
when the elastic bands connecting these thought impressions to the
movement and sense impressions become stronger, he becomes
predominantly emotional. He can now worry about the immediate
future. This naturally increases the desire to acquire more necessities to safeguard him against it. Further, he needs to be reassured
that he is loved and will be cared for a hundred times a day. Hence,
the conflict increases. He still cannot think rationally; all his thought
impressions are focused on what he desires. If he cannot get what he

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desires, he simply becomes emotional, that is, the bands go chaotic,


and he goes into a wild dance.
Mental Man
Still further along, when a lot more thought impressions appear
and are more strongly connected with one another, he becomes
predominantly mental. He is increasingly controlled by thought
impressions. Now he can look deeper into the past and project
further into the future. His past experiences begin to control his
behavior considerably. He begins to discover prolonged fear; his
curiosity grows. Hence, the conflict increases even more.
In the beginning, his curiosity is limited to the near in time and
space: he wants to know what his neighbor is doing and thinking
presently. Later he wants to know what is happening a thousand, a
million, a billion, miles away; what happened a thousand, a million,
a billion, years ago; and what will happen a thousand, a million, a
billion, years later. Initially he indulges in these thought impressions
because they tickle and titillate him. Later he becomes serious and
may even be designated a man of vision. To be curious about what
will happen a billion years later, is he immortal?
MENTAL SHIELD

These activities, these thought impressions, are an excellent


means to avoid the innumerable conflict and tension of everyday
life, such as the conflict with his family and the weather. After all,
these are trifles compared to his invaluable contribution to mankind.
But in what way is the contribution of value? Is it because it tickles
and titillates other people, enabling them to forget their misery for a
moment?
These activities are merely the stubborn desire to displace his
fears. Theodore Zeldin reports that there are more than ten thousand
new scientific studies on fear each decade in the English language
alone. And the most important discovery is that the physiological
effects on the body between fear and curiosity are different only in
degree.

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ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

Nonetheless, it will be of great value if he dares to push further,


that is, if he dares to push it into eternity with his entire being, not
just mentally. In so doing, it may put the fear of God into his body,
heart and mind. It may push him to tread the way in order to
safeguard his eternity. And he may realize that the present moment
is eternity and therefore the only valuable activity is to face directly
whatever that is right in front of him at the present moment.
Hence, although thought impressions have been blamed for
much conflict, indeed they are responsible for much conflict, but
without thought impressions, evolution will be impossible. Without
the ability to project into the future, there will be no reason to suffer
for the future. Further, when the man is predominantly physical or
emotional, the inner conflict is projected externally. As he increasingly becomes more mental, he increasingly realizes that it is inside
him, causing him to be increasingly more self-critical.
Usually he is only willing to tread the way when the pain has
become unbearably greater than the pleasure he experiences in his
daily life. The statistics of a Russian experimental psychologist
showed that man experiences incomparably more pain than pleasure
in an average day. This is due to his stubborn desire to avoid and
postpone the painful consequences of his harmful activities and to
keep indulging in pleasure derived from harmful activities. The
stronger the thought impressions and their connections with one
another, the more able he can indulge in this stubborn desire, that is,
in losing himself in pleasurable impressions and shutting out painful
impressions.
As mentioned earlier, the adverse consequences do not
disappear; they pile up and plague him constantly. Out of sheer
desperation, he treads the way when he compels himself to look at
his past with unsparing sincerity, when he sincerely learns from his
past mistakes, and when he plans and sets up an aim to guide him
all these require diligent thought.

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Parable of the Sower


First case, the seeds fell beside the road, without having even a
chance to sprout. The physical man goes to church, but whatever he
hears is gone the moment he steps out: no sense stimuli therefore no
sense impressions.
Second case, the seeds fell on rocky places and immediately
sprang up, but having no root, they quickly withered away. The
emotional man goes to church to stir up desirable emotions. He only
hears the desirable aspect of the teachings, and whatever he hears
lasts for only a brief moment.
Third case, the seeds fell among the thorns and choked out. The
mental man hears both the desirable and the fearful aspects of the
teachings. So he is in conflict, choked with prolonged anxiety and
worry.
Fourth case, the seeds fell on good soil. The man is ready to
abandon everything and tread the way on the quiet.
Intensified Conflicting Forces
The further the man evolves, the stronger he becomes, the
greater the conflicting forces he must confront, and the greater the
intensity of his suffering.
Jesus died before the two criminals. Was he of poorer caliber
than them? Did he die from bodily pain? Could any bodily pain
inflicted from outside affect the man who could calm the winds and
waves, walk on water, and raise the dead? Only the man who has
already acquired a whole spirit can perform these activities. A
normal man, having just a whole soul, can do none of them, and he
can still suffer from instinctive pain. On the cross, Jesuss spirit
died, yes, his spirit, not his soul. This is why he found it unbearable.
In so doing, he unleashed an inconceivably powerful spiritual force
that will draw all men to him, to the way. His bodily death per se
could do nothing.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche was known to behave
outrageously and to drink heavily at times, prompting many people
to criticize him. Did they know why he behaved outrageously and
drank heavily? Did they know that he was struggling with

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inconceivably powerful conflicting forces? Isnt it possible that he


found them uncontrollable and unbearable now and then?
For a man who had contributed so much, who had achieved so
much, and who had helped so many, yet he was condemned. But
that is how the abnormal man typically reacts to cover up his shame,
his guilt, his impotency, his nothingness. Men such as Chogyam
Trungpa and Gurdjieff threaten the abnormal man to the core.
Why is there so much conflict? Isnt it because of the abnormal
mans monstrous blindness to his own shortcomings and others
strengths, of his monstrous exaggeration of his own strengths and
others shortcomings, and of his monstrous inability to consider the
whole and impartially?

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60
UNSTOPPABLE
EVOLUTION

Evolution is progressing rapidly. Signs are everywhere. Even if the


man permanently takes the line of least resistance, of least conflict
and tension, he will still be evolving. For instance, in the past if he
did not learn to read and write, he was still able to lead a bearable
life; hence, he could avoid the pain of learning to read and write. At
present the pain of not knowing how to read and write is more than
the pain of learning to read and write. Thus, the line of least
resistance compels him to learn and to develop his mental power.
Becoming Individual
In general, as man evolves, he moves from passive obedience
to active participation to independence. Within his family, he moves
from obedience to his parents to active participation in familial
activities to striking out on his own. This movement touches all
areaseducation, religion, politics, business.
In the past, he passively learned whatever he was taught,
believed whatever religious doctrine imparted to him, obeyed
whatever laws concocted by the authorities, and did whatever he
was told to do at work. In all areas, he did not know, did not want to
know and was unable to comprehend the how and why of these
systems even though they affected him considerably. As long as his
needs and desires were adequately met, he was contented. After all,
what he had to learn, believe, obey and do usually stayed the same
throughout his life. His needs and desires also usually stayed the
same.
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As he evolves, his desires increase, become more subtle and


complicated, resulting in discontentment with the established
systems. Hence, at work he is increasingly liable to change circumstances to suit his desires. If he fails, he moves to another company.
If he still finds it unsatisfactory after several moves, then he starts
his own company. With established religion, he increasingly finds it
unsatisfactory, and the religious doctrine increasingly causes more
conflict and tension than the satisfaction it offers. So he moves to
another religious organization. If he still finds it unsatisfactory after
several moves, then he breaks away and seeks for a satisfactory one
alone. Likewise, in education, he eventually becomes self-educated;
and in politics, he eventually becomes self-governing.
All these are signs of evolving and of advancing toward the
way, for the way leads to self-responsibility, self-dependence, selfreliance and self-governingindividual power.
Becoming Global
Another sign of evolution is the increasing breaking down of
boundaries in all areas. Hence, the man is compelled to be intensely
individual and intensely global at the same time. Likewise, as he
advances along the way, he ventures deeper into himself, yet he
himself expands at the same time and will eventually become global
and even beyond.
Referring to one of his numerous experiences, in Living with
Kundalini, Gopi Krishna writes:
It showed the previously all-dominating cosmos reduced
to the state of a transitory appearance, and the formerly
care-ridden point of awareness, circumscribed by the
body, grown to the spacious dimensions of a mighty
universe and the exalted stature of a majestic immanence
before which the material cosmos shrank to the
subordinate position of an evanescent and illusive
appendage.
Everybody who has ventured very deep into himself has similar
experience though he may describe it differently. This is because the
fine encompasses and is more substantial than the coarse. Thus, the
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cosmos that previously appeared all dominating and outside then


becomes a small thing within awareness.
To a lesser extent, the man at stage two of the way can already
experience this state. That the abnormal man either rejects or clings
to the coarse impressions implies that he is treating these impressions as outside him. At stage two, instead of treating the coarse
impressions as outside, he then perceives them to be within his
awareness. Like Gopi Krishna, he finds that the previously alldominating impressions reduced to the state of a transitory
appearance, and the world becomes mighty, mysterious and
majestic.
Isnt it ironical that when the man is inside an impression, he
treats it as outside him? It is simply because everything he
experiences as outside him imprisons him; hence, he is compelled to
see only the prison walls. When he finally experiences it as part of
him, then he realizes that it is neither and both: neither inside nor
outside / both inside and outside. Is it possible to reject or cling to
anything that is part of him? Isnt it absurd to attempt to do so?
Strange encounters strew the way.
Fruit of Evolution
Imagine a world in which each man carries on his own selfchosen task, a task that will convert his particular shortcomings into
strengths, that is, a task that will advance him further. Although
each man is busy striving to remove his own particular shortcomings, he is also willing and glad to lend his particular strengths
to others, to help whoever is in need of help. Is this wishful
imagination?
If forty pupils, from two and a half to seven years old, can
work on their self-chosen tasks individually and so harmoniously in
a Montessori classroom with limited materials as to make the
directress quite redundant, is it impossible for men ten times older
to do likewise?
Besides that, just look at the colossal increase in mental power
in a mere span of fifty years. In fact, many people are already living
conscious lives although they are still a small minority. Further,
spontaneous awakenings are increasingly reported; these people had
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already done much needed work in their past lives. Living as normal
man is merely the first step up and an initial fruit.
During involution, the man is a slave to matter. He strives to
evolve when he strives to be a slave to the soul, that is, when he
strives to be obedient to spiritual laws, but that is not the end. Just
before Jesus was about to be crucified, he said to his disciples, No
longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his
master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I
have heard from My Father I have made known to you. Hence,
after reaching a certain point, he becomes an active participant in
the spiritual realm until eventually he realizes his oneness with
everything, that is, until he becomes the master of everythingthe
final fruit.
It is possible to expedite evolution and to reduce conflict and
tension to the minimum necessary. Of course, the man can choose to
be half beaten to death before consenting to move a step forward.
That is, he can repeat the same mistake a million times before
struggling to abstain. In contrast, the more he struggles to avoid
repeating the same mistake, the faster he advances, and the less
conflict and tension he has to endure.
Referring to the Finland study, in terms of one lifetime, it was a
disaster to the diet group. In terms of evolution, it is probably a
success, and one lifetime is merely a drop in the ocean. Although
the diet group suffered a lot more and died earlier than the control
group, in terms of evolution, the diet group would advance faster
because the diet group would realize the futility of neutralizing
conflict and tension within the personality faster. Nevertheless, if
the diet group knew how to struggle rightly, that is, how to
neutralize the personality itself, then for the same amount of
suffering, the diet group would have advanced even faster and
further.
In terms of mans history, Jesus is a complete disaster. His very
birth already caused numerous deaths. Why, his first speech in his
hometown almost caused him to be thrown off a cliff. And who can
tally up the atrocities committed on his behalf? In terms of
evolution, he is a complete success, for he appeared to cast fire and
bring division. He probably succeeded in bringing the hidden inner
conflicts to the surface more than anyone known to mankind.
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61
THE
READER

Needless to say, but says anyway, especially after having inundated


you, the reader, with numerous musts, what you end up doing
depends on your state of being. A man needs a billion and one
nudges to tread the way. Innumerable conflicts, tensions, pains and
frustrations of every kind constantly nudge us toward the way. If
you tread the way on reading this book, it means you had already
received a billion nudges before, in your present and past lives.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin says:
To jolt the individual out of his natural laziness and the rut
of habit, and also from time to time to break up the
collective frameworks in which he is imprisoned, it is
indispensable that he should be shaken and prodded from
outside. What would we do without our enemies?
No, I am not your enemy, not even to your personality. This
book aims to convince your personality that no matter how it twists
and turns, it cannot remove conflict and tension. To succeed it must
die and a way is available for it to commit suicide successfully, thus
enabling your soul, the real you, to control your actions, words and
thoughts harmoniously.
Becoming Responsible
It is not fair! is a favorite refrain of the personality because it
stubbornly refuses to acknowledge that it reaps what it sows. But
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the moment its desire is met, it struts. Although scriptural teachings


claim that we are wholly responsible for everything, this claim is
extremely difficult to accept. Faced with this impossible
responsibility, it is extremely appealing if we could absolutely cease
to exist when we die bodily. Otherwise, there is no escape, and we
have no choice but to tread the way. Hence, we have to find out
what life demands from us and strive to acquiesce to its demand,
thereby reducing the conflict and tension to a minimum.
As we increasingly become conscious and realize our longforgotten aim, we will naturally become more responsible and strive
harder. Jesus, Buddha and many others have made the way easier
for us. More important, they are always here to help us, but they
cannot take away our responsibility. We have to carry our own
crosses, for that is the only way to acquire complete independency
and mastery. Actually, just as Simon of Cyrene helped Jesus to
carry his cross, Jesus, Buddha and many others are already
constantly helping us to carry our cross, so that we can reach our
Golgotha, Place of a Skull, faster.
Becoming Independent
To emphasize once again, the way aims at complete independence. The masters, the teachings, the techniques and methods
are simply to assist us when we are still weak. When it comes to
understanding crutches, J. Krishnamurti reigns supreme. In fact, he
dedicated his life speaking primarily about crutches simply because
he saw that everybody was clinging to crutches for dear life. But he
went over the edge, to the point of demanding that his listeners drop
all crutches and jump from the known into the unknown completely
and instantly. This is impossible.
True, jumping from the known into the unknown may appear to
be sudden and instantaneous. For example, when many selves
suddenly give up fighting en masse, but it happens only after a
lengthy and difficult struggle. In fact, this is also true for an
ordinary realization or insight, creative or otherwise, though the
preceding struggle is relatively mild.
The ultimate jump into the unknown is into the void. Even if it
were possible and we happened to enter the void without any
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preparation, we would be instantly destroyed, vaporized. If we find


it difficult to handle even an ordinary traumatic experience, how can
we handle that infinitely more traumatic experience? Hence, many
years of terrible struggle to drop our crutches and to face the
unknown bit by bit is essential to prepare us. Even Buddha had to
struggle for six terrible years. Krishnamurti himself had to struggle
for many terrible years. Nevertheless, due to his profound understanding of crutches, it is useful to study his writings.
Shunryu Suzuki says:
There is no way set up for us. Moment after moment we
have to find our own way. Some idea of perfection, or
some perfect way which is set up by someone else, is not
the true way for us. . . . The best way is to understand
yourself, and then you will understand everything. So
when you try hard to make your own way, you will help
others, and you will be helped by others. Before you make
your own way you cannot help anyone, and no one can
help you.
Hence, you must decide for yourself whether to tread the way
under your present circumstances, under different circumstances or
under a master. You must also decide which techniques and
methods to use. Anyway, this book is not about techniques and
methods; it is about the principles behind the techniques and
methods.
If you are not ready, this book may help you to understand your
life and yourself a little better. In realizing the colossal difficulties
of life, it may help you to be a little gentler with others and yourself.
On the other hand, it may plunge you into an abyss of despaira
reliable sign that you are ready. Courage is rarely inborn; the mother
of courage is frequently sheer desperation. It appears when ones
back is against the wall.
The Three Ways
St. John of the Cross approached the way through devotion into
love. Mahasi Sayadaw approached the way through knowledge into
wisdom. Either way, it must culminate into the application of love
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and wisdom in impeccable actions. Hence, we may begin with


devotion, knowledge or work, but we must strive to synthesize the
three into one as we advance, otherwise we become like a threelegged stool with uneven legs. Love, wisdom and impeccable
actions are inseparable.
Carl Rogers and Maria Montessori might not even know
anything about yoga, observation practice, or the way, yet they have
gone far. Their devotion and willingness to acquire the needed
knowledge to be more effective in their work, without allowing any
desire to distract or any fear to deter them, are already sufficient.
The way is not separate from everyday life. Huang-Po says,
Do not permit the events of your daily lives to bind you, but never
withdraw yourselves from them. In fact, if we are strong enough to
strive continually to do wholesome activities that we are avoiding
and to abstain from unwholesome activities that we are indulging in,
this itself is an excellent and sufficient beginning. In so doing, we
will be converting passive conflict and tension into active conflict
and tension and therefore treading stage one of the way. Later, when
we are strong enough to let go of the fruit of our activities gradually,
we will be neutralizing the active conflict and tension and therefore
treading stage two of the way.
The ability to be at ease at work and among people while a
ferocious battle is going on inside is the hallmark of someone who
is already advanced. In fact, after insight four, we must strive to
anchor ourselves onto everyday activities to avoid from being swept
away by the higher forces.
Apparent Contradictions
Spiritual teachings are filled with apparent contradictions
because the masters live on two levels at the same time. From the
higher level, they perceive everything on the lower level as a whole.
At the lower level, they discriminate. Hence, they practice
equanimity and discrimination at the same time. But when they
attempt to convey the reality of the higher level to someone who
only lives at the lower level, who views the higher level as formless,
then they are compelled to speak in terms of apparent contradictions.
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On the lower level, we speak in terms of either this or that. On


the higher level, they speak in terms of neither and both: neither this
nor that / both this and that. In terms of the formless, it is neither. In
terms of the whole, it is both. In fact, speaking in terms of neither
and both is simply to conceptualize rather inadequately the act of
perception. By the way, part of my aim is to clarify the apparent
contradictions pervading spiritual teachings. Looking back, I have
probably piled on more contradictions instead.
Anyway, here are two additional problematic apparent contradictions: grace versus strenuous struggle and faith versus rationality.
GRACE VERSUS STRENUOUS STRUGGLE

Why is it that we are commanded to struggle strenuously, but


the moment we advance a little, then we are told that it is simply an
act of grace, as if we had not struggle at all? It is not fair!
Nonetheless, without the soul assisting the personality, there is
no way the personality can neutralize itself. In fact, it cannot even
realize its actual condition. Though we may lament and whine about
our palpable problems, they are actually merely effects and relatively minor. Hence, we invariably find that the removal of these
problems does not really help us at all. Further, without the souls
aid, there will be no warrior-self. Though the warrior-self has the
same nature as the other selves, its aim is diametrically opposite
theirs. Can that aim come from the personality? Finally, can the
warrior-self neutralize the personality by itself? Could David
neutralize Goliath by himself?
In fact, at some points along the way, we will inevitably be
faced with the seeming impossibility of advancing further. At any of
these points, we really have no choice, but to struggle on and beg
for assistance from an entity whose existence we may doubt.
Assistance from the formless is barely discernible initially, but as
we advance, as the coarse impressions fade away, then it becomes
increasingly discernible.
Rephrasing what Mother Teresa saysall our struggles are
only a drop in the ocean, but it is an indispensable drop. Heaven
reaches down when we strenuously struggle to reach up; hence,
grace and strenuous struggle are inseparable.
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FAITH VERSUS RATIONALITY

Practical and impartial reasoning is essential; it helps us to


avoid making many foolish mistakes, but it cannot penetrate the
truth. Reasoning is like a tool. Like all tools, it has its uses and
limitations. Only a complete plunge with our entire beings can
penetrate the truth. Reasoning deals with only the lower level, but
truth deals with both levels. Hence, we can only penetrate the truth
when we can perceive. But before we can perceive, we have no
choice, but to rely on faith when we struggle to climb up, using
practical reasoning as safety net. At stage two of the way, we can
then increasingly allow awareness to guide our actions, words and
thoughts.

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62
EPILOGUE

Krishnamurti had gone over the edge. In stressing the difficulty of


the way, I may appear to have gone over the edge, too. It is because
we are inundated from everywhere by the assumption that we can
solve our problems with a few easy steps. After many years of
struggling to alleviate the problems facing me and finding the
results futile and inconsequential, I happened to read In Search of
the Miraculous. In a way, that book brought immense relief because
it elucidates the reasons for my miserable failures. In that book,
Gurdjieff describes in specific, definite and concrete terms the
immense difficulty to do even the smallest thing from several
angles. That book makes me realize the necessity to go all out. In
fact, many ideas in this book came from him. I have merely verified
some of the truth of what he says.
Tao Te Ching says:
He who makes light of many things
Will encounter many difficulties.
Hence even the Sage regards things as difficult,
And for that reason never meets with difficulties.
So there is immense value in regarding everything as difficult.
Further, spiritual teachings are replete with illustrations and
parables, such as using a single spoon to empty an ocean, to
emphasize the difficulty of the way. These illustrations and parables
are not meant to discourage; they are meant to prepare us and to
prevent us from deluding ourselves, for we can derive immense selfsatisfaction in deluding ourselves that we are treading the way when
in fact we are not.
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A. H. Almaas says:
Our situation really is much more difficult, much more
profound than we allow ourselves to see for a long time.
Thats why we speak of the terror of the situation
because it is so frightening to finally realize and admit
how lost we are, and how at the mercy we are of so many
elements that we have no handle on. The terror of the
situation has a lot to do with how much we believe what
we think we know, with how much we are caught in the
gravity of our planet of conventional reality, believing it to
be the center of the universe and sometimes all that
exists. We usually do not realize that our experience of
reality has to shift only a little bit and all will disappear,
leaving us totally terrified.
The way is truly very difficult. The first essential step is to
acknowledge its difficulty sincerely, followed by the struggle to
accept it unconditionally to a certain extent. Paradoxically, the
moment we can unconditionally accept its difficulty, the difficulty
lessens, but it is difficult to unconditionally accept anything that
gives us pain.
The Dalai Lama says, I believe deeply that we must find, all
of us together, a new spirituality. This new concept ought to be
elaborated alongside the religions in such a way that all people of
goodwill could adhere to it. Perhaps this book, written as a result
of grace and as an act of faith, can contribute a drop toward this aim.
I do not know whether this book is of any value to you, but it is
of value to me. Everyday I find myself making the same mistakes
again and again. Mistakes I have succeeded in abstaining many
times before. Mistakes I know I can continue to abstain if I am
willing to face the pain of doing so. But time after time, I indulge.
Hence, I need to be repeatedly kicked by my own blunt statements.
By the way, I am definitely not a master. A master can enter
the void at will. He can perceive his disciples inner conditions
directly. How can he be responsible for his disciple if he cannot do

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that? I am still far away from that; merely one amongst many on the
journey of endless discovery.
Each of us is indispensable.
Each of us is heading home.
No one will be left behind.
No one can be left behind.
Each of us has traveled long and far.
As we head for home,
As we reduce our own conflict,
We will be able to help one another,
Thereby bringing harmony to the world.

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