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Pros and cons of fruit

By Ryan Kane

Volume 45, Issue 14B


Ideas For Bringing Camp To School
By Sophie Biro and Maddie Vanech (AKA the
Anonymouses)
Trace the pattern of your camp shirt, then hang
it up in your locker!
Stay in touch with camp friends
Read old daily doubles if youre feeling
nostalgic
Change your ring tone to the sound of a
cowbell!
Come up with Camp-sounding names for your
school classes (Algebra can be called Various
Variables)
Randomly dress up on a Friday, claiming that
it is CIT Day
Do a one-man Production! Or Musical Theatre
Troupe! Or Mini Musical!
Write your own daily double!
Steal stuff from your kitchen and CLOMP
Sort through your trash bin and make an outfit!
Thats how recycled fashion works-right?
Assemble some friends and give them each
one note to sing over and over while you belt
out the lead
Start a band!
Play wall-ball, foursquare and ping-pong!
Make small funny videos!
Count off the days until camp starts again!
Whatever you do- dont call your teachers by
their first names!
What I saw in the Charles river
By Sam
I saw a roll of foam, dry ice, a car headlight,
coffee foam, trash, dead fish, a sandal and a water bottle
or maybe five. Note to self: never swim in Charles River.

Hi today Im going to write the pros and cons of fruit so lets


get to it!
-Apple
Pros: Yummy
Cons: If you have a big mouth you could choke on it
-Pear
Pros: Its green which means its camouflage
Cons: Its shaped just like a potato so you could mistake it
for a potato
-Lemon
Pros: Its sour so you can dare friends to sour competitions
Cons: It has seeds in it and the seeds in it are sticky
-Lime
Pros: They always have the coolest stickers on them when
you buy them
Cons: If youre colorblind, you cant tell the difference
between a lemon and lime
-Orange
Pros: Its orange
Cons: It has the most boringest shape ever: a sphere. I mean,
was the person who invented oranges even thinking about
what he was doing?
-Watermelon
Pros: Its huge so if you are really really hungry you can eat
a whole watermelon
Cons: Messy
-Pineapple
Pros: Its yellow so you can pull a prank on someone and tell
them someone peed on it
Cons: Its spikey so if you touched it you could get a boo-boo
-Blueberry
Pros: If you like the color blue, and the fruit berry, youll
love blueberries!
Cons: Theyre blue on the outside but green on the inside
which is pretty gross
-Grapes
Pros: None, grapes are pure evil!
Cons: Grapes are pure evil!
-Raspberry
Pros: Theyre just the right mix of tart, sweet, and any other
kind of flavor
Cons: Theyre in the same category of grapes which are pure
evil which means raspberries are evil a little
-Strawberry
Pros: Theyre the only fruit that tastes good when dipped in
chocolate. Ever tried apple and chocolate? *Gag*
Cons: They are juicy. Too juicy.
-Banana
Pros: They be yummy
Cons: Its just way to much work having to peel it
Well hope you liked the pros and cons of fruit adios tacos!

Wholock: Sherlock meets the Doctor part 3


By Eleanor Dunne
Last time on Wholock, the Doctor thinks that Sherlock is
a Time Lord! This is gonna be crazy
Sherlock stared at the Doctor. What the HECK
is a Time Lord? And this THING! Physics! IT CANT
BE BIGGER ON THE INSIDE! Is this a prank? Did
Moriarty put you up to this?
Sherlock-John starts.

Not now John! If my mind cant handle this,
yours must be blasted to dust by now!
I assure you, it really is bigger on the inside.
The Doctor cuts in. Tell me John. Did Sherlock ever
have a pocketwatch with some strange markings on the
back?
No! Sherlock roars. This is impossible! HowSlap! Donna slaps him across the face.
Listen here, Holmes! Shut up and listen to the
Doctor! Ive had to deal with Pompeii, giant spider lady
things, murderous Ood, the Doctor crashing my wedding
day, fat coming alive, and SO MUCH MORE! CAN
YOU JUST SHUT YOUR GIGANTIC MOUTH FOR
5 MINUTES?! Donna screams. John stares at Donna.
He had never seen anyone talk to Sherlock that way.
Sure, lots of people want to, but no one actually does.
There was silence until the Doctor cleared his throat. So
anyway, do you have any pocketwatches?
No. Sherlock says sharply.
Actually, I think you do. Theres one on the
shelf of 221b. Youve never opened it though.
Aw, yes, that might be it! Come on Donna!
Allons-y! The Doctor starts to march through the door
of the TARDIS. Hold on Sherlock mutters. Before
you rummage through my stuff, prove it.
Prove what? Doctor questions innocently.
That this is really a time machine. Take me back
100 years ago. The Doctors eyes brighten.
Okay then! Allons-y! He shouts and starts
pushing random buttons on the TARDIS. The strange
noise, then a rough bump. Were here! The Doctor
calls in a sing-song voice. Sherlock peeks his head out
of the door. Oh my god He mutters, and takes in the
sight of Baker Street 100 years ago.
Take me back now. Sherlock shouts. The same
process happens. Sherlock stumbles out of the TARDIS,
dizzy. John is smiling. Donna has a smug look on her face.
Can we rummage through your stuff now? Sherlock
nods. Is Sherlock afraid of Donna? John thinks. No, Im
not. Sherlock snaps.
How did you know I was thinking that?
Oh, its obvious. Sherlock says, and starts his
process of deduction.

***

Found it! Donna yells. She tosses it to Sherlock.
Open it! Doctor yells.
This is ridiculous. Youll probably want me to say
elementary my dear Watson next. Sherlock grumbles.
Then he hears the voices. Swirling around in his head, like
memories long forgotten. The watch seems to glow, light
swirling around it. Somehow Sherlock knows that hes
meant to open that watch. He positions his finger on the
latch.
No. He whispered.

The Origins and History of UNICORNS and PEGASI


By Christine Foster
Many of you know what unicorns and pegasi
are, but not many of you know where they originated
from, nor their history. Well, you will now!
The unicorn first was found in Ancient Greece,
recorded as natural history. To the Greeks, they were
donkeys with a single horn on their head that lived far
away in the land of India. Later on, they were found in
more and more places, the most commonly known in
history is the unicorns found in medieval Europe, seen
as a symbol for purity, and became more horse-like.
The unicorn horn, also known as the alicorn (yeah, yeah
MLP fans laugh it up), was known to have medicinal
as well as magical properties, and people sold narwhal
horns by telling them that they were alicorns.
The Pegasus is a winged horse found in Greek
Mythology, as the child of Poseidon and Medusa. In the
myth of Perseus and the Gorgons, when Perseus cut off
Medusas head, out sprung out Pegasus, and his lesser
known brother, Chrysaor, from Medusas neck. Pegasus
became the first of his kind. Later on, Bellerophon rode
Pegasus to battle the Chimera, a monster that was part
goat, part lion, and part snake.
Well, CRCAP, now you know the history of
unicorns and pegasi, the most popular equines of the
mythological world! They have some similarities, like
they both have their differences as well. Which do you
like better?

NFL Updates
By Casey Corcoran
Hello again! I am going to be writing about the NFL
today! Well first off the Cleveland Browns will probably have
their first string QB be Johnny Manziel from Texas A&M.
Week 1 of the NFLs preseason games will take off today.
Who will be the most successful teams in the preseason? Id
say since all the teams are just trying to find out how good
their new editions are, Id say the most successful team would
be the 2013 Super Bowl Runner-Up, the Denver Broncos.
Also, the new digital service launched by the NFL named
NFL Now will be the good for strong football fans. It will
provide highlights and you can personalize your own home
page! It is awesome! Thats all for today!
Ask Bunnytail
By Bunnytail
R U single?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! I am
already dating a bunny, you bozo.
-Bunnytail

The Flaws of the Sewing Machines


Hannah Rosenberg
Connected to the Textiles suite is a sewing
room. If you havent seen it, go ahead and look at
it. No, STARE at it. In that room, there are multiple
sewing machines. Seven to eleven, I would guess.
THEY ARE IRRATATING ME SO MUCH. Why?
Heres a list of their flaws.
The Singer keeps getting birds nests (four
strings coming out of it)
One of the German hobby machines only has
half a presser foot
The bobbin keeps breaking in (or the string
keeps getting messed up in it) in another German
machine
People half- thread a machine and then give
up, leaving it a mess (this is more of a human flawdont blame the machine for this one!)
I cant figure out how to change the stitch on
the Necchi machine! (Again, a human flaw- mine this
time)
Okay.
Thank you.
Goodbye!

Is Bunnytail having a fun summer?


Dear ANOTHER PERSON WITH
NO NAME,
Yes, yes I am.
- Bunnytail
Did you know Im getting a bunny?!
- Other Francesca
You are? Thats so cool!
- Bunnytail
Aaron is cute and I want to marry
him. What to do?
- shy
Wait for the right moment. Itll come.
-Bunnytail
All for now, Bunnytail.

Good Days
By Claudia Schmidt
When someone asks you if you are having a good day, you probably will say
yes, but you might say no. Think about why you said no. Why is this day not a
good day? Maybe it is a good day, but you just have to make it better yourself.
Let the song of life lead you in order to make the best day even better. Let the
wonders of life and the beats of the world take you to another universe. Do your
best to live life the way it was meant to be lived in your own special way.

Doodle Cats Contest!


By Nina Mew ^w^
Doodle cats is having a fun contest!
Want to enter? Continue reading!
To enter:
1.) Draw a doodle cat (a fan cat*)
2.) Put your name (full please) , locker
location with locker number, and
which fan cat you drew.
3.) Put the paper in the request box
(fold if big)
Extra Information:
Fan Cat A character taking the form
as a cat. Like Harry Potter as a cat. And
Put a cute name like Harry Pawter.
The request box locations are in the
Old Building Writing Room (The
Daily Double Room) and The on the
stairway up to lunch.
Roxanne, you wrote a note regarding
you wanted Finn and Jake from
adventure time and your locker was
n a-center. I will try my hardest to
find your locker but please put your
exact locker location in a request box.
Thanks ^w^!!!

Ask the 10th Doctor


By Eleanor Dunne
I am currently in Petes world! Or was when I got the
answers. Oh Yeah, and this is the 12th Ask the 10th Doctor!
*confetti popper* (Doctor) SHE STOLE MY COOKIE!
Q. Rubber duckies!
A. Rubber duckies! *squeaks rubber duckie* (Rose) I saw
you cuddling that in the TARDIS once
Q. how old are you? Sarah
A. 911!
Q. What should I do when I find the yolo?
A. eat a cookie!
Q. If youre the 10th doctor, whos the 9th Doctor?
A. My former self.
Q. from Rainy Girl. Do you like Dancing?
A. I- (Rose) ugh, dont mention the Doctor dancing. Brings
back bittersweet memories. (Eleanors note: If you want the
full story, watch season 1, episode 10; The Doctor Dances
Thats all for today! Leave more questions! And now
for a very important notice *gas mask thing comes
in* Are you my mummy? (Rose, Doctor and Eleanor)
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twinterview #4
By Ze Biro Twins
Today is Sophie interviewing Lily.
Q: What would be your dream lunch at CRCAP?
A: Pesto Pasta, BLTs, Garden Salad, Cheez-Its, and an
ice cream bar
Q: How often do say the word um in life (in minutes per
hour)
A: I have no idea
Q: What do you think about the fact that the world will
end in about 10 billion years?
A: I dont care. I will be dead anyways!
Q: What is your second least favorite food?
A: Hot dogs
Now Lily will interview Sophie.
Q: What class do you like best at CRCAP?
A: All of them!
Q: What is your favorite snack food?
A: I like goldfish.
Q: Whats your second least favorite food?
A: Tuna (not the sushi kind, but the regular kind)

Thanks, CITs!/Matt & Sam 4(ish) (not real people)


By Eli H.
Okay, first off, thanks, CITs! You guys are awesome!
Happy CIT day! Next, Matt & Sam (not real people)!
Opens with Matt and Sam watching a video of Matt
singing in the point of view of a five year old girl.
MATT: I hate you. Why did you post that?!
SAM: Its hilarious!
MATT: No, its not! Remove it now! I have the right to
remain anonymous!
SAM: Matt, its already gotten 900,987 views and 7,800
likes! Thats gotta count for something!
MATT: Yeah, but its also gotten one dislike!
SAM: Did you do that, Matt?
MATT: Yes.
THE END!!!
P.S. even though this is a super funny thing to do, dont
do it. Happy CIT day once again!
Smash Chat
By: Alex Smash Wymer

Hello Veterans and Newcomers! Today my review is of a new 3DS stage thats well A green stage that says 3DS
and it looks like flat land. Apparently if you turn on 3D it will look like a game cube. Uh. Thats a bit disappointing.
But thats all we have today! So Ill see you next time!
Ba-Ding!
Smash

Doc Talk
By Ethan Mamenta

Writers Block
By Claudia Schmidt


Hi, and welcome to another fantastic day of doc talk. Today I will be
giving a little preview of episode 1 of season 8!

In the episode Deep Breath, The new doctor and Clara arrive in Victorian
London. When they arrive, they find a dinosaur and a spate of deadly spontaneous
combustions. During the doctor and Claras dangerous journey, Clara faces the
challenge of maintaining her and the doctors friendship.

Well thats all for now. Today I am too lazy to think up a clever goodbye,
so bye.

What to write. What to write


Ideas swirling like a winter storm.
Sounds everywhere.
Cant think.
What to do. What to do.
Animals. People. World News.
None are good enough.
A blank screen. A blank screen.
White.
Everything is white.
An idea.
All I need is an idea.
A small spark in a pitch black sky.
I have it. I have it.
This is what I will write about.
Thank you.

Sharknado 2: The Review


By Lindsey

Hey CRCAP!! Over the weekend, I was flipping through channels on
my TV when I came upon The Sharknado sequel. Me, being a fan of sharks,
watched it. It was so bad it was GOOD. The plot was basically the survival of
New York City citizens during the terror of a tornado that sucked up sharks from
the ocean and rained them down upon the city. Before I enter extreme detail
about this madness I have to explain what a Sharknado is.

A sharknado is the event of a water tornado that starts on the coast of
a continent and simultaneously picking up sharks. The water inside the tornado
allows the sharks to thrive, making this natural disaster, along with the flooding
that occurs, one of the worst of all time. The movie focuses on three groups of
survivors: The girls that went on a trip to see the statue of liberty, and the group
of boys (and one girl) that went to a Mets game that ended horribly wrong. The
third survivor group is actually one person, a woman named April. She was in the
hospital recovering from her arm surgery when she heard about the Sharknado
and snuck out. She runs through the city and eventually finds the boy group of
survivors. The perspective flips between the girls and the boys, and occasionally
April. The boys spend most of the movie gathering supplies to build a bomb that
they will throw into the tornado while the girls try to escape from the sharks.
It was a pretty good movie, but the sharks looked wayyy too fake. It was hilarious
if you arent afraid of stuff like this. Its ridiculous how stupid these people are.
The weapon of choice in this movie is obviously chainsaws. And baseball bats.
Anyway, if you want to watch a horror flick thats so bad its a comedy, watch
this. Thanks for reading!
--Lindsey--

The Story of Bob


By Ryan Kane
Bob was a normal guy. He lived in a tiny apartment in New York City and
worked at Starbucks. One day on his way to work he fell down. Or he was
tripped, I should say. He was tripped by his brother, Hansel. Hansel tripped
Bob a lot. But this time bob got really mad so he climbed on Hansel and started
hitting, punching, and kicking him. Unfortunately, they were right next to a
police officer and he arrested Bob. Bob got thrown in to a cell with this really
big mad guy. The mad guy held him up by the shirt and uppercut him so hard
that he flew out of jail and fell right into the Starbucks he worked at. The end.

Favorite parts of Bomb Pops


By Ryan Kane
We had bomb pops for dessert
on Thursday, and I asked myself
Hmm I wonder what peoples
favorite part of it is? Red (cherry),
white (lemon), or blue (blue
raspberry)? So I found out, and
here are the results:
Red (cherry): 4
White (lemon): 4
Blue (blue raspberry): 1
Wow! A first place tie with red and
white! Sorry blue, but not a lot of
people like you. (Blue speaking)
aww Well, thats it for today!
Adios tacos!

More questions
By Dont ask us

Doc Talk
By: Ethan Mamenta

Who are you?-Stalker


Hello classic example of the inverse ratio between the size
of a mouth and the size of a brain (sorry, writers block). Today I
will be listing my top 5 favorite companions. These are just my
personal favorites, and have nothing to do with any poles or charts.
5: Rory Williams. I cant say why, but I just like him.
4: Micky Smith. He was a little bit wimpy in the beginning, but
what made him get on my list was his line in doomsday: Im
Micky Smith, and Im saving the world.
3: Amy Pond. I like her because she was a major part of the end of
time plot.
2: Rose Tyler. Rose started out as an un-educated store clerk. Once
she started to travel with the doctor, she got so much smarter. I like
how much she grew over the years.
1: Clara Oswin Oswald. I like Clara for one reason: without her,
the doctor would not be alive.
Well, thats all for now, before I go, just remember, time is
not a line, but a big ball of wibaly wobaly timy wimy stuff.

UGH WHAT IS WITH ALL OF THESE


STALKERS?!?!? Seriously everyone wants to
know who we are! We must be celebrities!
I am an alian, fear me and Tell me what I should do
about Dental Floss-from Alian
First of all, use it. On your teeth that is. Secondly,
we believe in random Capitalization and bad
Speling as Wel. (sorry we had to make fun of that,
dont take it personally).
Can I have a hug?-sitser
Tough love my friend but the answers still no!
(Dont tell me you didnt think of the song Rude
there because you did so if you think you didnt,
you lied.)
Socks and Sandals; are they back in style?anonymous
Depends. Anywhere but camp, probably not.
In camp, OF COURSE! START A TREND,
ANONYMOUS!!!!
Can I have a sandwich?-hungry

What should I write about?


By Me (Samuel)
I have no idea what to write about. Do you know what I
should write about? If you have an idea put it in the envelope I
have set up in the activity center. While I wait for your ideas, Ill
tell you about the last time my family went camping. So, first we
ran out of gas for our mini stove, and we decided to go back inside
and not camp in our backyard. Guess what. My family has never
gone camping, so that story is entirely false.

Only if its Jif chunky peanut butter and Smuckers


Sardine Jelly. Sorry bro.
Keep it up guys! You are sure asking a lot, and we
love it!
MY top 11 favorite videogames
BY David M
11. Banjo Kazooie
10. Halo 3
9. Mega Man X
8. Batman Arkham City
7. Borderlands
6. Castle Crashers
5. Donkey Kong country Tropical
Freeze
4. Little Big Planet 2
3. Kid Icarus: Uprising
2. Uncharted 2
1. TMNT IV TURTLES IN TIME

CIT DAY
By Nicholas Chiasson
THIS ARTICLE WILL BE WRITTEN IN
CAPS LOCK. YAAAAAAAAAAA
AND NO I WILL NOT ECPLANE WHAT
YAAAAAAAAAAAAA IS THE WORD
YAAAAAAAAAAA IS A SACRED
WORD
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
MEANS POWER YAAAAAAAAAAAAA
IS
MORE
THEN
A
WORD
YA A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A
IT MEANS THEN YOUR LIFE
YAAAAAAAAAAA IS ALEIN FOR
THE AWSOMEIST STUFF EVER CAN
I PLEASE HAVE A POINTLESS ECHO
FOR YAAAAAAAAAAAA

Doctor Who: Noon


By: Alex Wymer

Hello again Ood. Said the Doctor

My, what a nice form you took on. The
Ood said, Whered the girl come from?

Oh this isnt the form that came after my
other self. There was another who met this fabulous
girl. The Doctor replied.

Geronimo! Came a voice. All of the
sudden another TARDIS crashed next to the Doctors.
Out popped his previous self.

That would be the one I regenerated into.
The Doctor said, But whats he doing here?

Allons-y! Cried another voice as another
TARDIS crashed.

Ah, Said the Ood, There is the Doctor I
know

Woah! Another voice called out as yet
another TARDIS crashed. The head of his 9th self
came out of the TARDIS. What am I doing here?

Hey Youre me! He said pointing to his
9th self.

I am? The incarnation replied.

Youre both me! Cried the 11th Doctor

Whos he? Asked the 9th pointing to the
th
12 .

The one that comes after him. Said the
th
12 pointing to the 11th, Where did everyone just
come from?

I just regenerated after I blew up Galifrey.
Said the 9th.

I just saved a bride named Donna. Said
the 10th.

Well I just lost Amy and Rory. The 11th
said sadly.

Why are all of your previous selves here
Doctor? asked Clara.

No idea. Came the enthusiastic reply of 4
Doctors.

All of the sudden Strax, Jenny, and Vastra
came outside. They looked from one Doctor to the
next, awestruck at the fact that there were 4 of them

Well, Said the Ood, This is quite
strange.

Hey! An Ood! Said the 10th and 11th
Doctors.

Whats an Ood? Asked the 9th Doctor.

Lets first get to the fact that there are 4 of
you in the same place said Vastra.
EXTERMINATE!!! Said a robotic voice.
Maybe thats why were all here. Said the 11th
Doctor.
TO BE CONTINUED

Car review: 2015 Mercedes SL-Class


By: Lleyton W.
Hello again, everybody! Todays review is going to
be about the 2015 Mercedes SL. This car is a luxury 2-seater
convertible. The starting price for this car is $106,900. (SL550).
The other starting price (For SL63/65 AMG) is $148,050,
which is a bit expensive. The engine is 4.7/5.5L giving out 429
to 530 HP. The MPG is 18 city and 25 highway, so it is better
than expected. Then I expected. Me.
That is about it for the car. (There are a lot more facts, but I
dont want to list them all) hope you keep on reading!!!

What Do You Think The Top Most Popular Fast Food


Restaurants Are?
By Maddie Vanech
What do you think the top ten most popular global fast food
chains are?
Think about it- Ill wait.
Have a prediction? Great! (Im assuming you do- just bear
with me here)
Lets see if your perception matches reality! (According to
forbes.com)
1. McDonalds:: Number of International Locations: 18,710
2. KFC:: Number of International Locations: 11,798
3. Subway:: Number of International Locations: 10,109
4. Pizza Hut:: Number of International Locations: 5,890
5. Starbucks:: Number of International Locations: 5,727
6. Burger King:: Number of International Locations: 4,998
7. Dominos Pizza:: Number of International Locations: 4,422
8. Dunkin Donuts:: Number of International Locations: 3,005
9. Dairy Queen:: Number of International Locations: 802
10. Papa Johns:: Number of International Locations: 755
SoHowd you do?

Does Weather Affect Your Mood?


By Rachel Schultze

Ninja Turtles movie rant 8/8/14


By TMNT SUPER-FAN David M

Have you ever noticed that during the fall and


winter months you are less happy than normal? Are you
mostly really happy during the summer? SAD (Seasonal
Affective Disorder) is a disorder that doesnt occur
in many people. This disorder is found in very small
amounts in almost everyone though. SAD affected
people get bothered by the lack of light in the fall
and winter months than most people. And when these
people are exposed to light particularly in the morningscientists find that their moods are better. People who
dont have SAD tend to have a drop in mood levels
and wellbeing during the darker winter months anyway
because peoples moods thrive with more sun. Studies
have also shown that people in high-risk areas for
extreme weather may also be at high risk for physical
and mental stress.

So basically, if you are in a good mood, chances
are, bad weather wont bring you down too much. But
if you are in a bad mood on a cold dreary day, your
bad mood gets much worse. Also, sunlight can also vary
your level of tiredness. Less sunshine makes you more
tired whereas lots of sunlight makes you happy and
more awake. Finally, if you spend more time outside, it
is known to lower stress levels.

Whether you think that weather affects your
mood or not, chances are that it doesnt. Unless you are
identified as a sufferer of SAD, there is nothing major to
worry about with your moods on cold, dark days.

Hello readers, today the new ninja turtles movie


comes out! And boy, will it be terrible. First off the
turtles look terrible, and I mean GOD AWFUL. They are
disgusting, they have human lips TURTLES DO NOT
EVER IN HISTORY HAVE HUMAN LIPS!!! (I just
threw up in my mouth thinking about it)
Donatello is definitely the worst of all.
Also Splinter LOOKS LIKE ROADKILL!
@#*&%$^ ROADKILL!!!!!
THEN YOU HAVE Megan fox as April ONeill,
SHE ISNT A GOOD ACTOR! SHES A TERRIBLE
CHOICE TO BE APIL ONEIL!!!! The foot soldiers
look like theyre from CALL OF DUTY, THEY HAVE
GUNS FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!!!! SHREDDER IS
THE BEST LOOKING CHARACTER IN THE FILM!
AND YOURE SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM!!!
THATS IT IM DONE! Q DA SCOTTISH PRIATE
ROCK! (Insert Scottish pirate band playing music)
HERE LIES DAVID MARTINS CHILDHOOD, 7/14/00
8/8/14

MLB Updates!
By Casey Corcoran
Breaking News! Tony Bosch was arrested for selling of
a type of steroid called biogenesis. He only caved in yesterday.
Next topic is The new MLB commissioner is to be decided
soon and these are the three candidates: The first one is Rob
Manfred, the second one is Tim Brosnan and the third and final
one is the Red Soxs chairman Tom Werner. Who do you think
will be the new MLB commissioner? Tell me in my sports
column in the hallway in the Activity Center. Okay the next
topic is MLB ironic: The Texas Rangers beat the Baltimore
Orioles 30-3 one game. Last night the Rangers won against the
Chicago White Sox 16-0. Which one was better? Well obviously
the 30-3 defeat right? Well take this, there were a lot of different
things back then so that could have effected the game. Okay the
next topic is David Price. Price struck out ten last night in his
Detroit Tiger debut. Is he the best pitcher on the Tigers? Or is it
veteran Justin Verlander or another pitcher? Let me know in my
sports advice column (I mentioned the location earlier). Thats
all for today! Next topic is the NFL!

Scary politics
By Samuel
One day, I found out about politics. They
are very scary. While youre listening to me, I have
a public security announcement: If you have used
Gmail in the past 3 days, your email may have
been hijacked by now. There was a data leak during
the last 3 days. This is fake, I hope. Anyway, the
president has power to get the military to kill you,
and can blow up a country (or maybe 10) whenever
he wants too. I guess the president is scary, more
than politics, but its whatever.