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When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified; or when he or
she is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called for. The gentle
and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance provides illumination and healing. In such
situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another.
Carl Rogers
Hurt, Confused, Believe
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers
Change, Appreciation, Self
People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find
myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I
watch with awe as it unfolds.
Carl Rogers
Sunset, Hands, Orange
We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet
listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.
Carl Rogers
Real, Thinking, Empathy
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Growth occurs when individuals confront problems, struggle to master them, and through that
struggle develop new aspects of their skills, capacities, views about life.
Carl Rogers
Struggle, Views, Skills
The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.
Carl Rogers
Inspirational, Motivational, Education
I think my deepest criticism of the educational system . . . is that it's all based upon a distrust of
the student. Don't trust him to follow his own leads; guide him; tell him what to do; tell him what
he should think; tell him what he should learn. Consequently at the very age when he should be
developing adult characteristics of choice and decision making, when he should be trusted on
some of those things, trusted to make mistakes and to learn from those mistakes, he is, instead,
regimented and shoved into a curriculum, whether it fits him or not.
Carl Rogers
Mistake, Educational, Thinking
I realize that if I were stable, prudent and static; I'd live in death. Therefore I accept confusion,
uncertainty, fear and emotional ups and downs; because that's the price I'm willing to pay for a
fluid, perplexed and exciting life.
Carl Rogers
Emotional, Confusion, Pay
As no one else can know how we perceive, we are the best experts on ourselves.
Carl Rogers
Experts, Perceive, Knows
The only person who cannot be helped is that person who blames others.
Carl Rogers
Inspirational, Blame, Persons
People only seriously consider change when they feel accepted for exactly who they are.
Carl Rogers
People, Accepted, Feels
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When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take
responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good. . . . When I have been
listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go
on. It is astonishing how elements which seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens.
How confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is
heard.
Carl Rogers
Responsibility, Confusion, Trying
A person cannot teach another person directly; a person can only facilitate another's learning
Carl Rogers
Teach, Persons, Facilitate
When I look at the world I'm pessimistic, but when I look at people I am optimistic.
Carl Rogers
Optimistic, People, Psychology
You know that I don't believe that anyone has ever taught anything to anyone. I question that
efficacy of teaching. The only thing that I know is that anyone who wants to learn will learn. And
maybe a teacher is a facilitator, a person who puts things down and shows people how exciting
and wonderful it is and asks them to eat.
Carl Rogers
Education, Teacher, Believe
The state of empathy, or being empathic, is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another
with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one
were the person.
Carl Rogers
Emotional, Empathy, States
The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.
Carl Rogers
Inspirational, Life, Journey
The only reality I can possibly know is the world as I perceive it at this moment. The only reality
you can possibly know is the world as you see it at this moment. And the only certainty is that
those perceived realities are different. There are as many real worlds as there are people!
Carl Rogers
Real, People, Different
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One of the most satisfying experiences I know is fully to appreciate an individual in the same way I
appreciate a sunset. When I look at a sunset... I don't find myself saying, 'Soften the orange a little
more on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple along the base, and use a little more
pink in the cloud color...' I don't try to control a sunset. I watch it with awe as it unfolds.
Carl Rogers
Sunset, Hands, Color
Powerful is our need to be known, really known by ourselves and others, even if only for a
moment.
Carl Rogers
Powerful, Empathy, Needs
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this
person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this
person may use for his own personal growth?
Carl Rogers
Relationship, Change, Healing
A second characteristic of the process which for me is the good life, is that it involves an
increasingly tendency to live fully in each moment. I believe it would be evident that for the
person who was fully open to his new experience, completely without defensiveness, each
moment would be new.
Carl Rogers
Good Life, Believe, New Experiences
If I were to search for the central core of difficulty in people as I have come to know them, it is that
in the great majority of cases they despise themselves, regarding themselves as worthless and
unlovable.
Carl Rogers
Self Esteem, People, Majority
I am increasingly an architect of self. I am free to will and choose. I can, through accepting my
individuality... become more of my uniqueness, more of my potentiality.
Carl Rogers
Self, Individuality, Architect
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