ed981105.
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Issue 947 - Weekly
500+ Stand up
for their rights
The new Student Rights
Charter was launched nation-
wide last Friday. The Charter
is an NUS drive to draw atten-
tion to the many difficulties
students often face during ter-
tiary education. It focuses on
issues such as Tuition Fees,
decent, affordable accommo-
dation, child-care provision,
the right to appeal against
unfair decisions relating to
academic study and the huge
problem of student hardship.
Last Friday showed just how
many students DO care what
happens to them at University.
Almost every Union in the
country put on some kind of
event to launch the charter.
Some Unions had students sit-
ting in baths full of baked
beans or handing over plastic
cheques to vice-chancellors
and principles. Here at Surrey,
we decided to be a little more
civilised and stick to what we
know best. From 10.00 a.m.
until 7.00 p.m., the Union
reception was covered with
bright red and yellow posters
and flyers, advertising the
launch of the charter. The
reception was manned
throughout the day and stu-
dents were encouraged to sign
up to the charter and pledge
their support.
Surrey also caught the world
wide web limelight with our
web page, giving details of the
News 2 n Features 3
Ents 8
Page 1 (1,1)
charter and events from our
Union site. Being the only Uni
who’d done that, several other
Unions in the country put links
from their page to ours.
Thanks to all those who
worked so hard to get the pages
looking so spangley.
The book from Surrey will be
presented to our local MP at a
national lobby on November
11th. If anyone’s interested in
coming along, we could organ-
ise a minibus to take people to
the Houses of Parliament for
the day. With many Unions
supporting the charter, and
some good publicity, the press-
ing issues surrounding student
life and hardship will be high-
lighted and the government
will have to take notice. Fees
may now be a reality, but let’s
not forget that Tuition Fees are
only part of the story. Even if
you collected your entire
financial entitlement, it still
wouldn’t be enough to live on
- genuine hardship is a fright-
ening reality for many students
across the country.
Thank you to everyone who
signed up - we collected over
500 names in one day which
kind of wipes out this notion
of apathy running through
the Union at the moment. I
always knew you cared. Due
to popularity, we’ll be
extending the times when
you can sign up to the char-
ter if you didn’t have a
chance on Friday. The book
will be at the main Union
reception during the day for
you to sign and pick up some
information about the char-
ter. See Cathy between 9
a.m. and 5 p.m. and show
your support from Surrey for
this important initiative.
TODAY- STUDENT COUNCIL - 18.00 - Main Union
Followed by The Big Bang Fireworks Party
n Music 5 n Entertainments Guide 7 .
n Notices & Personals 9 n Reviews 10 n
Thursday November 5 1998
UN condemn
Iraqi “Flagrant
Violation”
Once again Iraq has suspended co-operation with the The new resolution, currently being drafted by the British
United Nations Weapons Inspectors. The failure of the and due for completion on Thursday following late night
UN to lift sanctions imposed on Iraq following the inva- UN negotiations is set to condemn non compliance as a
sion of Kuwait in 1990 is again cited as the reason for this ``flagrant violation''
now all to familiar stand off. In February this year, an ear-
lier stand-off came close to initiating US and British mil- The resolution would call for the immediate resumption
itary strikes against Iraq. The UN Security Council recent- of co-operation with UNSCOM (UN special commis-
ly promised to review Iraq's co-operation with the inspec- sion). UNSCOM would then be able to carry on monitor-
tion teams, known collectively as USCOM. However they ing the scrapping of declared nuclear weapon sites.
gave no indication of when sanctions against Iraq might British Secretary of Defence, George Robertson, said
be lifted. This has angered the Iraqi leaders who say that "Saddam Hussein is a danger to his neighbours and there-
sanctions are crippling their economy. The Council is fore a danger to the rest of the world. That is a message
united in its condemnation of this latest Iraqi act of defi- that united the world earlier this year. If he is now going
ance, however in a repeat of events earlier this year there to yet again defy world opinion then he must face the con-
is conflict as to the best way to solve the crisis. Once sequences”
again the United States and Britain have threatened to use
force while China and Russia have both urged non con-
frontational solutions. Russia, owed billions of dollars by
Iraq, is openly in favour of an early lifting of sanctions
while China has urged constraint from all parties.
The Security Council is currently wording a resolution
condemning Iraq, without using threatening language or
in fact stating that Iraq has violated UN resolutions. This
denies the US and UK a virtual green light for military
action. This is in an effort to minimise an escalation of
tension inevitably caused by a threat of force.
The wording of the resolution is proving difficult, with all
five permanent members of the Security Council (US, UK
Russia, France and China) empowered to use their veto
over any contentious points.
Other leading figures have been quick to promote their
opinions. The new German Foreign Minister stated that
the situation should not become centred on the possible
use of force but instead on the total compliance of the
Iraqi Government while King Fahd announced that he
will not let Saudi Arabia be used as a “springboard for
attacks on Iraq”
Saddam Hussein pictured last year
Surrey Pride 11
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2 News
Editorial
International Disco, Comedian
Steve Best at his best, a fantas-
tic Grease ‘Outrage’ night, a
busy Toniq and a traditional
drunken meat market on the
Friday. Well the Union is back
doing what it does best:
Partying. the weather may be
miserable, the exams may be
round the corner but why
choose that when you could
choose from the above.
Which begs the question as to why I have been virtually tee-
total all week (as far a I can remember). Well, my excuses,
none of which stand up to examination, fail to change the fact
that, stone cold sober as I was, I had a cracking week in the
Union.
Maybe I am getting old but the Union seems to be busy most
of the day and night and people are talking, enjoying them-
selves and enjoying each others company independent of
drink. (Friday excluded when I don’t think I have ever seen so
many drunk people in all my life). Don’t worry I have not
given up the juice but I was just noting that as we approach the
time that eighties nights will be replaced with nineties nights
(aaaaaargh) and seventies nights will all but disappear, are we
going to start alienating drinking in a similar way to smoking?.
Are there going to be non - drinking areas and dry bars?
Doctors warn us about every single substance we consume.
Drinking and smoking are the usual culprits but I heard that
currently toothpaste is bad for your teeth and that apples are
bad for you.
Similarly it strikes me as strange that there is a large campaign
to legalise/decriminalise cannabis in this country while at the
same time every consumable good we take for granted is being
gradually cast aside. The point of this editorial - To remind
everyone to enjoy themselves, eat well, remain healthy, don’t
believe everything you are told and spend every waking
moment outside your studies to make the most of the rest of the
semester during this depressing and miserably cold weather.
Come along to Student Council tonight(Thursday) at 6.00 in
the Union, the Fireworks display afterwards and if any of you
have time I highly recommend going to visit the SKI show in
London.(On until Sunday). Watch out for a report next week.
Cheers.Tom
Many thanks go this week to Cliffy, Andy Thomas,
James Buller, Daniel Jones, Nick Walsh and Pravin,
Arts Editor Daniel Jones
(ps71at@surrey.ac.uk)
Thursday November 5 1998
News in Brief
Middle East Peace Delayed But Diplomatic Relations Still Good
While the troubles between Israelis and Palestinians civil-
ians continue in the West Bank, the countries respective
governments appear to be co-operating more than ever.
Yasser Arafat leader, of the Palestinians has given the his
counterpart the time needed to convince the Israeli cabi-
net and parliament to ratify the latest peace agreement.
Binyamin Netanyahu the Israeli Prime Minister called
Arafat to explain what he called a technical delay. Both
leaders remain committed to the peace process, despite a
recent attack on a Jewish school bus.
A suicide bomber drove his explosive laden car at the bus.
The car was intercepted by the bus’s army escort vehicle.
The car blew up when the two collided, killing the drivers
of both cars. This attack and the existence of two heavily
armed escort jeeps for every such bus every day is a sign
of how far the peace effort still has to go.
Further evidence of tension was seen the sites of new
Jewish settlements. Palestinians and Israelis clashed
Swedish Disco ends in tradgedy
On Monday night, 63 teenagers lost their lives after fire
safety regulations were ignored in a Swedish disco hall.
Emergency exits had been blocked with stacked chairs and
tables and at the time of the fire 320 tickets had been sold
for a venue with a 150 person capacity. Survivors had
Great Train Robbery
A man has appeared in court accused of stealing more
than 40 items of railway rolling stock. Barry Daly, 42, a
former employee of Rail Freight admitted 6 charges of
theft. The list of stolen goods (trains) reads like a terminus
inventory: 4 locomotives, 2 coaches and 38 wagons.
After stealing the rolling stock Daly sold it to unsuspect-
Lawyers Set Targets On Gun Makers
The American city of New Orleans is planning to sue gun
manufacturers. City leaders hope to recover the money
police and hospitals spend on clearing up after gun relat-
ed crime. The lawsuit follows several legal actions by US
states against tobacco companies. They sought recom-
pense for money spent on the health of smokers.
The same lawyers who filed those claims are behind this
latest litigation . The basis of their case is that gun makers
LGB Society
Tuesday 20th October saw the University of Surrey Lesbian, Gay
and Bisexual AGM. A new Chairperson, Vice-chairperson and
Treasurer were voted in, with three other officers dealing with
Lesbian Affairs, Gender Issues and Ents/Publicity. All members
who attended gave full support and sympathy for the friend of Julie
P., who’s letter was published in Barefacts a few weeks ago. Full
support was also shown for Alan Roy’s letter in response to this
incidence. This year we see a near equal ratio of men to women, on
the society’s official list. An additional amendment to the society’s
constitution was voted in, promoting the interests, safety, unique-
ness, dignity and confidentiality of LGB members and students at
the university. Those who attended the meeting felt that the societies
aims should be to allow LGB students to meet others, to make com-
ing out less stressful, to allow people to make friends and to allow
confused people to talk to someone in confidence. The society
needs the support of it’s members to continue to thrive, to generate
new ideas and interests. If you are interested in being a member,
then feel free to come to one of
our meetings, held every
TUESDAY, 8PM, TB20b, dur-
ing term time. For further infor-
mation, or for someone to talk
to in confidence, e-mail us at
lgbsoc@surrey.ac.uk
We look forward to seeing you
there.
T.Alexander (Chairperson)
where Jews wish to build homes,. In Ras-al-Ahmud for
example. Muslims vastly out-number Jews. The Israelis
want to erect a fence around their houses. Arabs chained
themselves to the settlers bulldozers to prevent the action.
They were joined by Israeli pacifists.
Palestinians want Israel to give up more land to their
newly created country. Israel however must convince it’s
citizens that this is the right thing to do, and reassure them
that their security will not be sacrificed. To aid this the
Palestinians are expected to act against anti Jewish terror-
ists. In fact the leader of Hamas, the group responsible to
the recent car attack has been put under house arrest this
week.
The BBC's Middle East correspondent, Paul Adams, said,
for the time being, both sides seem to recognise that a cer-
tain degree of slippage is inevitable as they endeavour to
implement the deal.
jumped from window ledges eight foot up while others
were unable to reach that high and were subsequently
trapped. The cause of the blaze is still unknown but arson
had not been ruled out. The organisers of the party are like-
ly to face criminal charges in light of the overcrowding.
ing enthusiasts. In line with tradition however the trains
never arrived. Daly simply pocketed the customers money
and disappeared. One railway museum paid £42,000 to
use trains as exhibits, but received nothing. Pete
Waterman of Waterman Railway Heritage Trust said:
"We're still staggered." Daly was released on conditional
bail, pending sentencing
do not include enough safety devices on their products,
which would prevent "unauthorised" usage. Bob Ricker
from the American Shooting Sports Council, who will be
among the defendants in the case said "Safety devices
aren't the end-all and be-all of gun safety; more important
is the person using the gun,"
Several other cities have announced their interest in pur-
suing similar actions to New Orleans.
Skills Development
Want to know about working in a team? There’s a
skills session for you taking place on Wednesday 11
November between 2pm and 4pm in Teaching
Block 22. This will be led by the Post-Grad
Association.
Also coming up soon is a session on Interpersonal
Skills which will look at ways to improve your
relationships with others in a work and social set-
ting. This is the last workshop in the semester and
will be on Tuesday 17 November between 6pm and
8pm in Committee Room X, 1st Floor, Senate
House. You can get further details or sign up by
contacting Rodney Bates on ext. 3177 or e-mail
(R.Bates@surrey.ac.uk) Also, the events for after
Christmas will shortly be planned so please contact
Rodney with your suggestions and ideas asap.
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Thursday November 5 1998 3

Penguins Guzzle Alcohol?

OK, you’ve seen the posters, and you’re think-
ing: “what the heck does PGA stand for?”. And
the answer is...... the Postgraduate Association.
Doesn’t sound quite so exciting anymore, does
it? Because - and let’s be honest here - Postgrads
are generally scruffy, nocturnal, and boring,
aren’t they?
Well we say No! The PGA exists to prevent live-
ly undergrads from becoming boring postgrads.
We drag them away from their textbooks and
force them to have a good time - filling their
boots with concrete to stop them leaving the
dancefloor, if need be.
We also do some serious things too, like fighting
for postgrad issues. Why not read on and find out
what we do?
The Fun Side.
For many postgrads, life is an endless cycle of
drinking coffee in the library restaurant and fail-
ing to complete the Daily Mail tea-break quickie
crossword. That’s about as fun as it gets. But, to
prove that the word “fun” isn’t just the answer to
3-down, 4-across, the Postgraduate Association
puts on regular social bashes for postgrads to get
out and enjoy themselves. Oh, and make idiots of
themselves - judging by the photos, at least.
After being told by existing postgrads that the
PGA was for dull cardigan-and-slipper-wearers,
we were somewhat surprised to find a hundred of
them turn up to our first social event - a cocktails
evening in Wates House. Rumour has it that
vague smiles could be seen on some postgrads’
faces.
we think the upcoming 70’s night might just do
the trick.
FUDGE
70’s night.
Borrow your Dad’s flairs and your Mum’s plat-
forms as the PGA invite you to step back in time
with the 70’s night. Come as Gary Glitter, Elvis
(the burger-filled version thereof), or an afro’d
Disco King/Queen, and groove the night away. If
you aint got not flairs then make your own - take
an old pair of jeans and cut 30cm up the seams,
then sellotape in a triangle of 70’s-friendly mate-
rial (perhaps you could cut-up your supervisor’s
shirt). Get your funky buttocks to the Helyn Rose
Bar for 8pm on Thursday 12th November. And
that’ll be 2.50 in new money.
The Serious Side.
The PGA’s not all about sipping cocktails and
eating burnt hotdogs - there’s a serious side too.
The University does listen to what postgrads
have to say, and the PGA has representatives on
a number of university committees that deal with
Who the ‘F’ cares for your hair!!!
Hairtec
accommodation, welfare support, teaching poli-
cy, and academic standards, so we are in a good
position to voice your concerns.
We recently held a Postgraduate Forum which
had a much better turn out that we had expected
- thanks to everyone who came. After something
of a shaky start to the discussion we had a num- 24 Madrid Road
(01483)440414
ber of interesting point come out, especially on
the subject of facilities for research students,
postgraduate campus accommodation, personal
tutors for postgrads, and the university’s draft
code of practice for research degrees. All this got

Determined that we were going to educate these

postgrads in the art of having fun, we launched
into a full year of social events. After two pub
crawls and another cocktails evening, we had
conquered Chemistry and Mech. Eng. with at
least one smiling postgrad in each department.
It took a whole night of do-si-doing and stripping
the willow at our Barn Dance to win over the
Bio-Scientists and Mathematicians.
Our real triumph was the Summer Boat Party on
the Thames where a hundred merry postgrads set
off from Kingston in the New Southern Belle,
and managed to dance the night away with dance
moves provided by the Physicists. Sadly, howev-
er, the Physicists had calculated the optimum
dance moves based on spherical dancers dancing
in a vacuum, travelling at the speed of light, and
so they didn’t quite work in practice. Anyway,
after the Boat Party we had found smiling post-
grads in Civil Engineering and Management
Studies.
As the summer vacation dragged on and on and
on, we went all out to win over the Physicists
with a barbecue by the lake. We thought we had
succeeded until we accidentally put tomato
ketchup instead of brown sauce on a Nuclear
Physicist’s hotdog, and we found ourselves back
at square one. But we came up with a devilishly
cunning plan as we finished off the social calen-
dar with a bar quiz: slip in some tricky physics
questions. The plan worked, and we caught a
Physicist smirk a little as we asked them about
light and masses. They still got trounced by the
Bio- Science team, mind you.
So we closed the year happy in the knowledge
that we had taught some postgrads the meaning
of the word “fun”, and pointed the others in the
direction of a dictionary. We have still got
Material Science and Elec Eng to crack, but we
have had two social events already this year, and
fed back to the relevant university committees,
and we now have representatives on two small
university focus groups to discuss some of these
issues. We will let you know what happens!
We also play an active role in the Students’
Union, helping write the Surrey For Beginners
that was sent out to all new postgrads, and we are
going to lend a hand with the Union’s first ever
vacation publication, due this Christmas.
Of course, if we are going to accurately represent
Surrey postgrads then we need to know what you
think, and what your concerns are. You can col-
lar the committee at any time to tell us your con-
cerns, or just chat. Better still, you could come to
our AGM next week and tell us then!
WHoP?
We have recently been talking with Wates House
about having a regular Wates House Postgrad
Night (WHoP Night - sad, innit?). It would be a
chance for postgrads to socialise together every
week, and there could WHoPping bar promo-
tions and WHoPping theme evenings now and
then. But is this what you want, or would you
prefer us to put all our efforts into occasional big
events? We think it’s a very exciting idea that
could start straight after Christmas - but we want
your views first.
The PGA AGM
Every year we need to elect a fresh set of indi-
viduals to run the PGA and to carry on our mis-
sion of teaching all postgrads to smile! There are
many sorts of roles from President to Web Page
Editor, all of them essential to keeping the PGA
ticking over. And you can choose the level of
commitment you want to offer - we want you
even if you can only spare a few hours per
semester.
Even if you don’t want to stand for a position
yourself, then please do still come to the AGM -
it’s important that the right people are running
your Postgraduate Association. Your vote
counts! The AGM is on Tuesday 10th November
at 6pm in Wates House - it won’t take long, and
please join us in the bar afterwards!
Get in touch!
You can always find out what the PGA is up to
by keeping your eye on Bare Facts, and checking
our website. We always want to hear from you,
and you can either e-mail us or leave a note in
our pigeonhole in the Students’ Union. We look
forward to hearing from you!
http://www.ee.surrey.ac.uk/Societies/pga/
pga@surrey.ac.uk
Reduced Prices for Students
Tuesdays - Fridays inclusive
CLUB REVIEW: by Drew Deadman
Halloween Party @ Ministry of Sound 31 10 98
Effects from manipulating are placed into the mix with con-
the Solar centration and dedication. The experience is
Projector heightened by blatant strobe and pulsating blue
dribble down and red. The phunking crowd of 900 plus lock
The Tunnel as into the sound, unaware that 5 am has passed.
the bad-and-
mad for it The event concludes at 9 am. Those with
enter the endurance (Lord C. and Co.) leave accomplished
Ministry. It is and those on the 7 am catharsis (Mr. E. Woo et al,
1 am and the Dan & Rach) feel grooved and funked.
desire for
aural and Although cold and harsh in meteorological
visual excitement can be witnessed in the eyes of terms, an apre’s-warmth is felt; Rulin’ and IN
the People. DEEP make October 1998 hot.
Diva vocals exhume The Bar, inducing the Club (Please contact Drew on 07771 997 205, for
Kittens into flirtatious movement. Flashes of future event info.)
‘orangeblackblue’ surround the author whilst
spikes nod up and down. Phat Vibes:The Launch:06.11.98:HRB:2000-
0200]
Above in the Space Bar IN
DEEP is smashing the ear drums
with its crisp arrangement of UK
Garage. The percussive trade-
mark is again confirmed as Russ
Tarley Jr. pops and slaps the 14
piece drum rig. Cutting and
mixing the beats are Greg
Stainer, DJ Dove and Mr.
Tickles; each perfectionists in
this underground trade.
Masquerade, Jump 98, Over
Here and Hyperfunk make the
Space Bar take off. Yannis
(Promoter) sees his creation
blossom.
A cool moment is grasped in The
Lab and Red Bull is slurped.
The transfusion from UK into
US occurs as the author travers-
es into The Box. A throbbing,
intimate bass note pumps out of
the infamous Ministry Sound
System, courtesy of Basement
Jaxx. Tweaking, sampling, eq
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Thursday November 5 1998

NUS?! What have NUS ever done for us?

By Marcus Mayers (External affairs officer)
So, the NUS. Does it really do anything for us? Would women, to attend a women-only conference.
we be better off without it? Well, next semester we are This year a more neutral political stance has been adopt-
going to have a vote to decide. This article is meant to ed by the leaders of NUS. This can only be a good thing,
show some of the services the Union and Surrey students as it should lead to a more realistic and representative
get out of NUS. This is particularly important as next view being put forward, showing how students today
year you will be asked whether we should remain mem- work This is typified by last week’s student charter day,
bers. After all if we’re paying upwards of £30,000 per celebrating our new role as customers, without the mass
year for NUS what do we truly gain? marches tried in previous years.

NUS publicly flaunts itself as the most democratic
organisation is western Europe. NUS get together once a
year for their own mutual gratification in Blackpool,
there the democratic process shines through at its best.
Every crack pot organisation, such as communists and
yogic fliers, takes up their right for democratic represen-
tation. And, due to the highly democratic voting process,
conference often fails to agree on anything of any use to
students. This leads to the question of whether it truly
represent what students think. Last year’s great achieve-
ment out of Blackpool was NUS voting that students
should no longer have 10% off in McDonald’s because
of it’s “unethical nature”. Is that what the majority of stu-
dents really want?
The blundering nature of NUS means that any motion it
passes tends to represent the lonely and obsessive, so
that they feel like they can make a difference, while
ignoring the needs of the apathetic majority. NUS can be
a very antiquated system, and until recently has been
dominated by Labour Party members, which of course
has led to no conflict of interests. In addition to this, the
constitution is unworkable as a large majority is needed
to repeal any motions while only 50% to implement it.
This leads to the crazy mentality which means we are
obliged to elect a women’s officer, who can only be a
Beyond the political aspect, NUS offer many key ser-
vices which must be seen as the true reason why our
Union and many similar establishments still remain
members. At the most basic level, there are discounts at
HMV, many leading retail outlets and some eateries.
NUS offer us a discount rate on beer that we would only
be able to match as part of a large pub chain. They also
offer legal and financial advisers to the union for free.
These services may seem trivial, but when the bare
bones of how the union works (such as the funding for
clubs and societies) are looked at, NUS plays a critical
role helping the decision makers find out what is legally
and technically possible. NUS also offers training for our
sabbaticals, and any other interested parties. Many
forums for discussion exist through the NUS network
which allow new and innovative ideas to be exchanged
between student unions.
In conclusion, although NUS’s political structure may be
archaic, the services they provide to Student Unions is
invaluable. Besides the yearly farce at Blackpool, the
NUS president and his team work hard to represent stu-
dents and achieve some success in politics which would
be impossible without NUS.
NB: The views on NUS expressed in this article are not
those of USSU.

NEED SOME EXTRA

GIG GUIDE
It is always advisable to confirm with the venue
CASH ? before travelling.

Marketing and Communications November

require students Thurs 5th The Jellys/Yo-Yo’s @ Camden Barfly.
with good communication skills Fri 6th Midge Ure @ Reading Alleycat
Sat 7th Maniacal, The Scrutineers, KFC,
for Campus Tours Dissent, Dreyfuss @ Aldershot West End Centre.
and Sun 8th No Jahoda @ Surrey Uni
to talk about ‘Student Life’ to Mon 9th Caffeine @ Reading Alleycat.
Parents Natalie Imbruglia @ Reading Rivermead Centre.
Tues 10th Solvent, New Rising Sun @ Reading
on UCAS days held on Wednesday afternoons Alleycat
starting on 11 November running through to March 1999 Wed 11th Dave Sutherland @ Reading Alleycat
Thurs 12th The Jellys @ Reading Alleycat.
Talk from 2.50 - 3.10 Delakota @ Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms.
Tours from 3.10 - 3.50 Sophia/Catpower @ London Garage. Athletico
£5 a talk/tour Strip @ Camden Barfly.
Contact: Pauline Elliott, Marketing & Communications Fri 13th Direction, Day Centre, Mamod @
Ground Floor, Senate House, Tel: 259192 or Ext 3171 Aldershot West End Centre
e-mail: p.elliott@surrey.ac.uk

CHARTER BALL UPDATE

The Charter Ball is an annual event, cele- Do you want a Charter Ball? What main entertainment act would you Do you want a casino and jazz band
brating the University Charter - when prefer to see? during the evening?
Surrey became a University rather than a Please tick: Yes No
technical college, in 1966. It also coincides Please tick: Top-name DJ Band Please tick: Yes No
with the election of the new sabbatical offi- If no, please complete details at the bottom
cers and is a big celebration of the Union. of this questionnaire and do not answer the Any other suggestions
The event is a traditional ball - everyone remaining questions Do you want to be able to attend the
gets dressed up and parties until late, but we Other event (please specify) Charter Ball meal before the Ball? ......................................................................
need your help! The Charter Ball ‘99 com-
mittee are currently devising the greatest ...................................................................... Please tick: Yes No .....................................................................
Charter Ball ever. Please fill in this ques-
tionnaire to help us provide exactly what ......................................................................
YOU want. Please fill in the questionnaire ...................................................................... If the Ball was in the Union complex, do
below, tear out the slip and hand it in to you think Chancellor’s should be open to Name: ...........................................
Cathy at reception or put in the Bare Facts all students - even those not attending the
box, out of hours. All completed question- Do you think the Ball should be in the Ball - until 10:30pm, for meeting friends Department: ............................................
naires will be collected and two winners University hall or in the Union building? and general drinking?
drawn from a hat, both of whom will win Email/Phone:
free Christmas Party tickets. Good Luck! Please tick: Hall Union Please tick: Yes No ......................................................................
Thank you for your time.
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 5 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Features 5

MOLOKO PLACEBO / ULTRASOUND

Union House, 25/10/98 Brixton Academy, 24 / 10 / 98
The atmosphere in the union tonight is To say Ultrasound have a big stage presence is merely a poor joke at the expense of their ironically
seemingly different, more laid back and monikered vocalist, Tiny. Nonetheless, they have a big Suede sound courtesy largely of Bernard
chilled. It obivious to see that tonight is Butler wannabe, Richard Green that seems disadvantaged only by Floyd progressive tendencies.
Ultrasound have become a feature of music press coverage lately, but I ask for what reason? Three
going to be a success due to the amount
poorly selling singles and not a 'could be' model in their midst seems little justification. Despite
of people down here for the first band extreme nervousness beforehand, they indulge us, the fans, with a rousing, anthemic and occasion-
Hooverphonic and the great dark expanse ally rock fest of a show.
that is Haris. Hooverphonic are causaul
about there playing as they are currently Then there's the wait to see the hottest ticket in town this autumn, in the company of Eddie Izzard,
on thier European tour. Their Portishead- Saffron Republica and sundry Bluetones and Suede members. Not to mention the film crew seeking
morcheeba-trip hop sound booming form out and being sought by the sensation seekers for the mandatory fan interlude in the obligatory
the boxes are subtle. they played songs angst related band video, which incidentally we all 'agreed to being a part of on account of being
from their album Blue powdered milk there'!
like a hoover over carpet. (sorry about
Incidentally it won't be the video release of the year on account of the bands poor performance bor-
the pun) With Hooverphonic leaving the dering on the sterile and lifeless which it normally takes bands many more albums worth of touring
stage, we are left with the spinning of to perfect. And there's hardly a Brian-a-like in the crowd - the Glam-Goths even realising he's just a
tunes from DJ Kid Loco mixing tracks marketing tool leaving the way for the Normals to latch onto the hottest ticket in town. The slow
from Deejay Punk-roc to the Beasties. A poignancy of 'Burger Queen' and 'Lady Of The Flowers' sink in their own contrivance. '36 Degrees'
verstile set catering for the likes of the is lumpen and who cares if there's even an encore. Daniel Jones
break 'n' beat, funk, and acid jazz fans out
there tonight. The ending of his set is Grandaddy Converse
known as the subdued lighting comes
into effect around the union and with that 20th October 1998
Moloko enters the runninig. Roisins disarming vocals hits the airwaves with the harshness Grandaddy are five oft-bearded, could've been subjected to all this music and you are told what
of a bright light but yet it is a wonderful harmonious light that we hear. The lads start their Hillbillies from Redneck America. They are pur- the cool thing is and you turn into this...you lose
indefinable blend of phat p-funk beats, jungle, trip hop and jazz tunes which enlighten the veyors of heartspun, deliciously affecting your identity and I'm afraid of that.
Americana fuzzy rock. And tonight Jason opens REM always stayed in Athens didn't they?
crowd to slowly wander the realms of heaven. tracks from thier debut album ;Do You like
up to discuss their history and the essentials of Yeah, they did. From what I understand they still
my tight Sweater?' are casually mixed in with thier new tunes from ' Iam not a Doctor'. All music at the moment. have the same lot of people working from them
well recieved by the crowd as they start running through the gates of heaven. It seems as Could I ask you what it's like in Modesto? like they had in the beginning.
they have all the time in the world as they perform one of their little remixes in the encore. Modesto itself doesn't have that much to offer, Do you like being compared to other bands or
The expertise of the band is unimaginable as they pounded those strings, bash those drums pretty God damn boring. You read about a lot of do you prefer to have a kind of uniqueness?
and push those pedals. An enjoyable wander through heaven for all those who were there. new records, but the chance of finding that I really don't like it or dislike it, I think to those
Kevin Marston record in Modesto is small. It does have other who are gonna put in the time to listen to music
advantages - you can go to lots of different places are gonna develop their own impression. Maybe
REPUBLICA cos it's in close proximity to neat natural stuff it can be valuable for them to like have some-
like the mountains and the lakes in Yosemite. thing to start with and it works for me occasion-
London Astoria, 28/10/98 Your music does have an organic, natural ally.
The idea of Republica must have been brewing in the mind of many an a&r man before they kind of quality... I read something describing you as a dis-
I guess but Modesto could be considered a large orchestra !...
finally arrived. What do the public like? Well, the public like dance music that’s for sure.
type of town now with about 200,000 people liv- Hal from Giant Sounds described us as that.
They also like a bit of guitar and if you can stick an attractive female into the picture that’ll ing there...but it's still not metropolitan. Something else as far as orchestras go, our
definately help in the photo shoots and Loaded-generation magazines. Republica are now What do you think of England? rhythm section snores really bad so they've been
on their second album and nothing has changed. ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’ is still as aggres- Wish we could see more than just London, we dubbed a snorechestra!
sive as ever, along with last single ‘From Rush Hour With Love’, and the obvious inclusion just haven't seen that much. We come here and We all laugh uncontrollably.
of ‘Ready To Go’ (oddly enough, not held back for the encore). Saffron has a strange vocal, the label wants to get their money's worth, so we Do you relate to the whole lo-fi sound?
at times she grunts like an army officer yet occasionally her powerful vocal is harnessed to can't go gallivanting round the country which is I relate to it only in the sense that lo-fi is very
soaring diva proportions. Almost every song is preceeded by ‘come on you fuckers!’ as the probably what we'd really like to do. London is practical. The power in regular people being able
DAT cuts in (which not only holds the drum loops, but backing vocals as well) and the face- really neat....but literally one of the best days we to create music (is great) I read, probably four
had touring was on a day off and I'm sure it cost years ago, Lou Barlow (of Sebadoh) said lo-fi is
less man-machines drop into gear. Still, the crowd love it and actual dancing breaks out
a bunch of money, but we spent the day up in not a category of music beacause Sebadoh and
instead of the indie/metal pogo. Simple in concept, but aren’t all the most successful things? Keswick - it was seriously pretty f****** unbe- Guided By Voices who were constantly dubbed
Andrew Thomas lievable. It was about 83 degrees outside, there lo-fi at that time didn't really have that much
was a waterfall right at the back of the hotel and resemblence to one another.
BUFFALO TOM it cleared out our minds. I'm sure there are a We are interupted by more drinks, before Jason
bunch of places that exist like that... Continues....
London Astoria, 27/10/98 Yeah, you're probably better to keep away I think the term is gonna completely disappear
from the metropolitan areas... because recording is becoming that much more
Buffalo Tom, unjustly, look set to be perennial runners up in the megastars race. They Actually San Francisco being as close as it is accessible...self sufficiency made the lo-fi term
have now put out six stunning albums crammed with shimmering pop songs and joyous even tends to be a chore. We collectively despise such a common term. I would like to sound hi-fi
melodies. Buffalo Tom take the best bits from Dinosaur Jr., REM and Neil Young to Los Angeles and we like San Francisco a lot but there's something quite unattractive about an
deliver heartbreaking lullabies and breathtaking power-pop. The set starts off with a more than we like LA. Certain people get used to over-glossy record like a Bee-Gees record...with
quite awesome 1-2-3-4, 'Velvet Roof' and 'Summer' setting us up for awesome takes on a certain pace and their lifestyle will allow them all the digital this and digital that.
'Postcard' and 'Rachael'. Many bands can start this well but Buffalo Tom were able to to...I dunno. You used to be on the Seattle based Will
back it up with every song they played, be it a fast one or a slow one, delivered in stun- They trail off, trying to express how they're used Records, what did you think about the grunge
to a nice leisurely pace which suits them just fine. thing?
ning style. The traditional three-
The problem with some bands in England is It worked out pretty good for a lot of heavy met-
piece; Bill Janowitz (guitar and
that they have to be based in London to keep tlers...I can't remember being too affected by it
vocals), Chris Colbourn up with quite fast moving scenes myself. I can think of a few Soundgarden records
(bass/vocals) and Tom Maginnis That's the weird thing because when we finally that affected me.
(drums) is aided and abetted by Phil started getting better...travelling a little bit here What bands and artists have really influenced
Aitkin on keyboards. They just and there...everybody says 'you've gotta move you?
sound so good, the way Bill will start out of town, you've gotta move to San Francisco, The Beatles have been the most enduring group
singing a line and Chris will end it, you've gotta move to LA' and it almost became of people that I have listened to. It was literally
the oh-so-close harmonies and such a cliché. It's a valid consideration but it's about the first thing I latched on to and I was
almost such a common thing you have to start about four or five years old.
thesheer passion they put into it.
questioning that. It's like OK, well let's see what What do you think of tonight’s support acts?
Buffalo Tom are truly a great band on
happens if we stay here a little bit longer and the We heard really good things about Ten Bensons
this night, it is time that radio woke results were that every time we would go out to and we did a little tour with Snowpony. They
up and played the songs. The rest of other places, people tended to get something out seem to rely pretty highly on a DAT tape but
the set is also packed with great of us cos we just weren't following what was hip they're pretty cool. But anytime I can catch
songs. From 'Kitchen Door', at the time. Those things would become unhip something that isn't two guitars, a bass vocals
'Tangerine' and 'Taillights Fade' to set and other things would become hip and we and drums I do. But you'd be surprised at what a
closer 'Treehouse'. For the encore would remain doing the same thing that we were rarity it is.
they give their classic first single doing. After a while it can turn into a dog chas- We go on to talk about the homogeneity of many
ing a tail - a band moves to...wherever. I mean, if bands and look forward to seeing Ten Bensons.
'Sunflower Suit' and 'I'm Allowed',
we had a dollar for every time this happens, a
returning a second time to blast
band moves to big city they have a little bit of Interviewed by Daniel Jones, transcribed by
through 'Birdbrain'. What a gig! uniqueness to them and all of a sudden you are Laura Knight
What a band! Rob Winder
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 6 (1,1)

6 Music Thursday November 5 1998

This is more than just one more tribute. It is hard

SINGLES
GROOP DOGDRILL - Personal (Mantra)
to believe how contemporary this can sound con-
sidering that it has ‘New York, New York’ on it.
Try it if you dare!! 7/10 G.T.
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
BIS - Eurodisco (Wiija)
The trio with the eighties obses-
If you have been paying attention, you will know sion return fresh from success in
CATCHERS - Come Around (Setanta) Japan and with what sounds like
that Groop Dogdrill produce a mighty fucked-up
Yet another indie band that is very promising, but
swamp blues meets heavy metallic rock sound. some seriously upgraded equip-
is lacking an essential ingredient if they are to
‘Personal’ is no exception so but it. If you have ment. No longer resembling
succeed: good production... The vocals are
not been paying attention then wise up and buy it. their lo-fi selves of a year ago
superb, the guitars are very catchy, poppy and
9/10 R.W. Eurodisco is a Human League-
easy to listen to, but the production just lets them
down.. D.A 6/10 esque stomp with the sound of a
3 COLOURS RED-Paralyse E.P.(Creation)
This EP in advance of an album due in February, dancefloor filler. Should finally
THE YOUNG OFFENDERS - Pink & Blue establish Bis as a “real” band
has the sound of a band really enjoying them-
(Columbia) with more to offer than mere
selves. The title track ‘Paralyse’, is a glorious
‘Pink & Blue’ is quite a lively little number, with ‘Kandy Pop’. 9/10 A.T.
rock song that, in the verse has elements of
refreshing harmonies scattered liberally all the
Beasties’ ‘Party’, and it gives off exactly the
way through. It is one of those tunes that are
same feeling of reckless abandon. The same can
incredibly easy to pick up and discover yourself
be said of the other three tracks, all of which can DADDY’S FAVOURITE - I Feel Good Things
humming ages afterwards. Quite nice, but there’s
stand alone. Basically a very good record. 9/10 For You. (Go Beat)
nothing strikingly special about it. 6/10 E.C.
M.A. If you want a record which you like and will lis-
ONE LADY OWNER - Wheelkings 1973 ten to occasionally, do not buy this one. If you
NT - Responsibilities (Epic) just want to buy something to make your record
(Creation)
Now here’s something different, a bluesy number collection bigger, this is the one you want as you
What can I say about a band who seem to be
which probably wouldn’t look out of place on a can pick up all of the copies that no-one else
obsessed with cars and tacky American tv cop
Quentin Tarantino soundtrack. A nice swinging wants quite cheaply at your local second hand
shows? Well... I can't exactly say they're too great
bass and acoustic tune with enthusiastic vocals DOOLALLY Straight From The Heart music store, and no I didn't "feel good things",
but if you like songs which are fast, furious, gui-
and the occasional “humph!”. More like this (Locked On) for it. 2/10 D.N.
tar rock, which all end in under 3 minutes, you
please. A.S 7/10 A run of the mill dance track by the newly com-
should be quite happy with this. 6/10 D.N.
bined project from producers Shanks & Bigfoot.
THE KING – ‘Come Along As You Are’ (EMI Nothing to really talk about except the remix
VELOCETTE-Reborn(Wiija)
Records) seems to add a few samples from other groups. This weeks reviews brought to you by:
Much acclaimed for their potential as much for
Elvis lives! Groan, mutter, sigh….. As much as 4/10 K.M Denise Nicholson, Emma Clark, Matthew
anything they have produced so far, this release
I hate to admit it, this single has taken me by sur- Anderson, Andrew Thomas, Dean Arif, Oliver
from Velocette falls into that category again. It’s
prise. Within these three songs Elvis is not only RADAR - Slow Down (WCR) Chamero, Andrew Smith, Gemma Decent, Kevin
a very nice sounding tune, easy on the ears, and
resurrected, but he is also comfortably placed The press release calls this “hard-edged groovy Marston, Ian Purvey, James Hemingway, Gareth
you get the feeling they’re trying to get to where
within the style of other artists such as Frank pop”, which is a new wave to describe what Nolan, Georgina Tarrent, Daniel Jones, and Nick
Belle and Sebastian are. However, they lack the
Sinatra and Status Quo. Both are very diverse sounds like a punk band going indie. Pants. 3/10 Walsh
edge, and aren’t by any means as convincing. A
styles. Each style is dealt with amazingly well. I.P.
pleasant ditty, but not quite there yet. 6/10 M.A.

is quite special indeed. 8/10 D.J.

ALBUMS
DAF - Die Kleinen Und Die Bosen (Mute)
SARAH McLACHLAN - Surfacing (Arista)
Sarah’s wonderful voice is one of the best aspects
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
U2 - Best of 1980-1990 (Island)
When the band of the eighties brings out
of this album. The album is a brilliant compila- an album that is the greatest hits of that
There is a chain of thought going around that period, you should buy the album out of
tion of haunting and mellow tracks. Best known
there is nothing new in music. That all of todays historical importance if for no other rea-
for her top 20 single ‘Adia’, Sarah’s piano based
music is just a variant of something that came son. From ‘Boy’ in 1980 to ‘Rattle and
songs are all excellent. ‘Building A Mystery’ and
before. It is hard to underestimate the effect DAF Hum’ in 1989 U2 was never with out
‘I love You’ are the two best tracks on the album
(Deutsch Amerikanische Freundshaft) has had on critical acclaim. It spans this period in
and could be as much as a hit as ‘Adia’ was. Also
todays Electro acts. DAF are the forefathers of U2’s life, and produces all on one album,
included is the song ‘Angels’ from the film ‘City
much of todays techno. This album is being re- the songs that gave people reason to
Of Angels’. If you want to buy an album to sit
issued, as its the famous dance label Mutes first believe that they were the band of the
and relax to while trying to do your work, buy
ever release. If you like your music experimental, decade. The track list reads something
this one. 8/10 G.D.
and you want to get to the roots of electronic like the greatest hits of all time, ‘Pride (in
music. It is well recommended. 9/10 N.W. the name of love)’, ‘ With or Without
DEPECHE MODE - The Singles 81>85
(Mute) you’, ‘Desire’, ‘New Years Day ‘, to
FREESTYLERS - We Rock Hard name but a few. Every song on the
The incredible difference between their current
(Freskanova) album is a classic, with the exception of
material and that of fifteen years ago is no more
This is the band that won Muzik’s magazine Best ‘Sweetest Thing’, which looks like a
apparent than after a quick listen to this collec-
Band Award, beating off the likes of Massive peasant in the presence of kings. The sec-
tion of their early singles. Eighties anthems like
Attack, The Chemical Brothers, and the ond CD in this limited edition has fifteen
‘Just Can’t Get Enough’ get you humming,
Propellerheads... How come??? Because they are of their best ‘B-sides’ from that period also. As best of albums go this is a CD which nobody can do
although the temptation to laugh at their almost
brilliant!!! From the opening dance floor hit without. As much as it kills me to give something 10/10, it would be an injustice not to. 10/10 G.N.
Kraftwerk-like drum machine can be distracting.
‘Freestyle Vibes’, to the furiously fast ‘Warning!’
Once you’re out of the melody-made-on-a- ok 6/10 O.C. comparisons could easily be made with Friends’
and their top forty ‘B-Boy Stance’ this is one of
Sinclair-Spectrum era, Depeche Mode become Ross! 4/10 J.R.H.
the most promising debut albums of the year.
more recognisable. ‘Blasphemous Rumours’ is JONNY L - Magnetic (XL)
8/10 D.A.
especially reminiscent of the Ultra album. The You could be forgiven for thinking this is some- DALEK-Negro, Necro, Nekros (Gern)
occasional ballad (such as the piano lead one trying to emulate the great ‘Jean MJ (Michel Those of you attracted to this record in the hope
KARATE - The Bed Is In The Ocean
‘Somebody’) gives breadth to what can have eas- Jarre)’ ‘Magnetic Fields’ LP (given the similari- that it may be a novelty record released b every-
(Southern)
ily become a string of singles that sounded like ty in name and title), and certainly you could one’s favourite pepperpot-shaped monsters
With all this big beat hysteria trumpeted by
different takes on each other. For the fans and the draw slight comparisons with some of the synths should beware- it’s not. It is, as the artist pro-
Kevin, now its the turn of the funk rock brothers
inquisitive. 7/10 A.T. in operation here. JMJ, however, this most cer- claims himself, supposed to be educational hip-
that are Karate. But they're also folk soul broth-
ers and a million other things, scattering their tainly is not. This is the drum’n’bass (yet anoth- hop. Or at least political hip-hop. At the risk of
BONKERS 5 - Anarchy In The Universe er ridiculous musical division) ‘hero’, who unfairly generalising the genre, it does sound like
soul unashamedly over slinky, solacious solos,
(React) brought us the classic ‘Piper’. Returning with a a lot of other rap songs. And the lyrics? Well, if
crevacious chords and bleeding basslines. The
Quite a mixed bunch here (which is what tends to totally self-created (writing, production, perfor- you can be bothered to listen that hard, they’re
jazzy opening of 'Diazapam' falls into desperate
happen when you have 3 cds with over 40 mance) bundle of ‘tunes’, this is a collection of not really that political or educational. The press
threadbare rock and then, wait, its a slice of
tracks...): some of the tracks are excellent: fast extremely repetitive loops, grooves and sound release states that this music is supposed to make
Nirvana and, hold on, there's Michael Stipe
and furious techno that will send your head spin- effects obtained from as far away as Japan. This us more aware of our “universal community”
singing the bridge. And all that in (dis)honour of
ning up to hyper-space in a fluorescent whirl, but may make the bloke out to be some kind of magi- through “apocalyptic beats and abstract rhymes”/
muscle relaxants. 'Not To Call The Police' is
others just sound like they’ve taken the music out cian, however the wizardry is lost on me. Credit Frankly, I’m more interested in how he expected
aggresive soul searching and perhaps the closest
of a computer game and remixed it, giving it a for the solo efforts but, as a fellow reviewer to be called Dalek and get away with it. 2/10
a cool band like this can get to the epic album
faster beat and leaving it at that. On the whole, its pointed out the other week about something, M.A.
closers of prog rockers of past and present. This

GRANDADDY / SNOWPONY / TEN BENSON
London LA2, 20 / 10 / 98
Ten Benson have been touted by Steve Lamacq. And he, strange-
ly, is the former co-owner of Deceptive, who released Ten
Bensons mini-LP. Well, enough of the conspiracy theory. They all
wear identical shirts and headbands and peddle an organic lo-fi
crunch. 'Lovely Guy' is slow, a snivelling bass leading the keybord
swirl up the garden path to some ancient, grainy orchard. Yes, Ten
Benson have texture and in fact enough texture to have Grandaddy
eager to watch them.
Snowpony are an experimental horribly dischordant Garbage.
The guest list is rammed with journalists and media types and the
atmosphere and expectation for Grandaddy is immense. They are a
beautiful, natural band and it seems fitting then, that the stage be
adorned with sundry shrubbery and greenery. Nestling between
these, the largely bearded Grandaddy deliver the kind of show that
legends are perhaps made of. They veer from a powerful, even
delinquant, instrumental intro to the supine, unhurried delight of
'Everything Beautiful Is Far Away'. There is magic in the air, and
sprinkled on the ground and in peoples heads and its spreading
from the stage. Few bands can touch this magnificence and even-
tually Grandaddy may be the grandfathers of fibrous beauty.
Daniel Jones
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 7 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Entertainments Guide 7

Cineline 0870 505 0007

Fri 6th Nov to Thurs 12th Nov
ANTZ
Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday

fri-sat 11.00 (sat only) 13.15 15.30 17.45 19.55 22.00

6th

sun 12.15 14.30 16.40 18.50 21.00

mon-thurs 13.20 15.30 17.40 18.50 21.00
The Exorcist
fri-sat 13.00 16.00 18.45 21.30
sun 12.15 15.00 17.45 20.30
mon-thurs 14.00 17.45 20.30 Yesterday is a memory, today is history, tomorrow is in the
Still Crazy hands of one man: Bond Tomorrow Never Dies apparently and
fri-sat 13.00 (fri only) 15.10 17.30 19.45 22.00 Mr Bond is here again to save the world in style. Eliot Carver,
sun 14.30 18.45 21.00 a rich press baron, attempts to start World War 3 by convinc-
7th

mon-thurs 13.45 16.30 18.45 21.00(except thurs)
There’s Something about Mary
fri-sat 13.00 15.40 18.15 21.40
sun 12.10 14.40 17.10 20.40
mon-tues & thurs 14.15 17.00 20.40
Haloween H20
fri-sat 20.00 22.10
sun-thurs 19.00 21.00
Elizabeth
8th
ing the British and Chinese that they are making hostile
advances towards each other. M orders Bond to use his previ-
ous relationship with Carver’s wife as a way of infiltrating his
international organization, but Carver soon realises Bond’s
intent. However, with the help of a female Chinese Army
agent, Bond gets closer and closer - but will he get close
enough to stop Carver from directing a UK missile at Beijing?
Pierce Brosnan plays Bond with an all star cast including Teri
Hatcher, Michelle Yeoh and not forgetting Dame Judy and

fri-sat 12.50 15.40 18.30 21.20
sun-thurs 14.15 17.30 20.20
Saving Private Ryan
fri-sat 20.50
sun-tues & thurs 19.45
The Truman Show
fri-sat14.10 16.40 19.10 21.50
sun 15.40 18.10
mon-thurs 13.10 15.40 18.10 20.50
9th
Lionel. Bring your gadgets to LT G on 8th Nov at 5 & 8pm or
9th Nov at 8pm
The Outsiders is the Arts film at 8pm on 11th Nov. Come and
laugh at Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, Emilio
Estevez and Tom Cruise looking really young. It’s 1966 and if
you’re a kid growing up in Tulsa you’re either a Soc or a
Greaser.The two groups are always at each others throats try-
ing to save face and protect each other. The story follows 2

Small Soldiers Greasers who come to realise that there is more to life than
fri-sat 11.15 (sat only) 13.45 16.30 19.00 their town and way of life and go to discover the world. Buy
sun-thurs 13.10 15.45 18.10 your tickets from the union receptionist or reserve your ticket
Snake eyes via the box in the post room. See you in LT G
fri-sat 13.45 17.00 19.30 22.00
sun-thurs 13.30 16.00 18.30 21.00
Mulan
fri-sat 11.30 (sat only) 13.30 15.45 18.00
10th

sun 12.30 14.45 17.00

mon-thurs 13.45 16.45
Ever After: A Cinderella Story
sat 12.40
sun 12.25
14th 13th 12th 11th
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06
8 ENTS
Rock Shop Open for Business
The sound of power guitars, crashing
drums and swirling synths has been
echoing around the halls of campus
over the past few weeks, all thanks to
a brand new rock show on GCR
1602AM, the University’s very own
radio station.
Experienced student rock jock Greg
Sanderson (the driving force behind
the Rock Shop) is obviously a man on
a mission:
‘Student radio isn’t just about playing
the indie bands. Sure, that’s impor-
tant, but the power of student radio
lies in having the freedom to play
whatever music you want. It’s about
being able to play Radiohead and
Rush back-to-back.’
This ideology makes for a line-up of
bands on the Rock Shop that is most
certainly eclectic. Metallica rub
shoulders with ABBA, and you’re
just as likely to hear the new single
from Tori Amos as you are classic
tracks from power bands Bon Jovi
and Van Halen.
But the Rock Shop isn’t just about
freedom for the DJ:
Mon 9th November 20.30
Page 8 (1,1)
Thursday November 5 1998
Firework display by
‘The fun part is requests. I mean, I the Globe /Golf Ball Hot dogs, Burgers,
can script out a show, pick my playlist
from 21.30 Soup, Vegie, Tea,
and have it all worked out, but the fun Coffee, Toffee apples
really starts when we get people all available
phoning in, because their choices are
inevitably weirder than anything I’ve TODAY,
picked.’
THURSDAY 5th of Sp
ar
le kle
Sanderson himself is a hardened veter-
sa NOVEMBER rs
an of the student radio circuit, having
s for fo
earned his stripes as a DJ at Kent er Bring a Firework, exchange rs
University, Canterbury and the rkl al
University of Massachusetts, USA: S pa at reception for Silly Night e
“Double and a mixer for £1”
‘Working for a US college radio sta-
tion was the best,although it took me
the first six months just to get a show.
It’s a lot easier to get on the radio here
iMac - Competition
at Guildford, which is why GCR is iMac is the space age Apple that has set a new
currently encouraging everyone to get standard in computer design. With one-button
involved - as a DJ trainer, I have a internet set up and access and a striking new
vested interest in getting as many design, it’s for parents, kids, students, teachers
people on air as possible. At the end and internet explorers of every age. It’s the
of the day, that’s what it’s all power of technology, with none of the hassle.
about.The Rock Shop goes out to it’s everything you need, with nothing extra to
campus every Wednesday night, 9- buy. With this in mind Applea are running a
11pm. Requests can be phoned in nationwide student competition.
during the show on ext 9311. For the chance to win answer the following
Those curious about training to be a question and send your entries to:
DJ can e-mail Greg Sanderson One iMac please Mister!
on gregsanderson@hotmail.com
Blurb Promotions
124 - 128 Barbly Road
London
W10 6BL
Q: Which 3 Apple products do you find on the front of the UK Apple Store
(www.apple.com.ukstore) on the Internet?
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 9 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Notices & Personals 9

Just a couple of Personals
.n”cherry drops, phhhh , mars
bars for me”
njon, sometimes it’s hard to be
a woman....
njon, you are cute....
ncha in 66, it is getting cold,
shouldn’t you be wearing your
mittens???the’ll be snug!!!!
ntom, the vice chancellor, are
you still drinking that orange
juice or has the will power
gone?!?!
nginny’s legendary ‘throat-
burners’ should be made illegal.
nwho lives in a hose? has no h
in his name? and surname
rhymes with loos?
n5,6,7,8??? m&c?
noi ! give me your cds back
nb.j., your london’s burning
audition is booked. test one: the
fireman’s lift.
nadam? when are you going to
start playing for the other team?
nirish,baileys,loud birds do
lunch again monday?
neli - ein mann darf dein leben
nicht bestimmen!!!
neli and sarah - we love you
nhas claire turned ‘the angel’
into a drunk?
nblair - wasn’t the cricket good
last week (daden hunt)
nmatt, get drunk at least once
this year
ngive the sailing club a b****y
bus! (please).
ngonzo!,take those lemons out
of your nostrils!
n”multi flavoured vodka shop
opening one day only, some-
time in december”
Crossword No 83
nashley, isn’t that a girls name?
nneil, isn’t that a poof’s name?
nmark - you’re lucky i can’t
think of anything to say.....
nchris - how long can you keep
the bet??? 18th december is a
long time away!!
nr: i know you love me ‘cos
i’ve got a d-reg black mini. b.
n”and i think knives are a good
idea - big, f**k-off shiny ones.”
n”i have a very long
passage”nsomething about a
bunny painting that was forged
in manchester? - clifford.
nemma - the true horner girl!!
nshe’s horner, she’s horner,
she’s horner, horner, horner!!!!
ntracey - where is your car?
nmichelle - is your ‘man’ still
in the cupboard?
nrachel my dearest cherub-
evil tokens of the devil may
hamper us but true love will
win through...
nsexyfox jo, as jy oud word
kry jy slimmer en nog mooier.
stefan.
nrejoice for emma can breath
once more, which is good
because she can suck-start a
harley.
nhello to all those dodgy birds
in that dodgy restaurant!
ndepressed?moi? - the angel
nclaireryna-when ya gonna
pull-the angel
nangela - have you seen any-
thing interesting on your flan-
nel reacently!!!
nkeep your hands to yourself,
especially in the queue for
bo’s!!!!!
nat least you got the toilet this
time lou!!!!!
ni hope you’ve washed your
hands!!!!!
nest ce que tu portes une
culotte ce soir???
nhello george , your our
favourite friendly giant
nwrfc - where have you all
gone?!!!
nat least christian can’t knock
himself out on bourne 3’s toast-
er now he’s got his mum to
look after him.
ni have ways of getting to you
even if i dont live here any
more. ha ha ha ha
nclaire, mind you don’t fall off
the chair this christmas!
nif you see someone with his
head in the railings holding a
train door, call him chris-
tiannboycot tesco, the trolley
tight bastards. do they want our
custom?
nhope all the pink ladies are
getting their sleep and have
bought their stockings for “the
13th”
nlike a love machine, walking
through your door.......
nthe susan and karl situation
continues in hse 47, stay stuck
to that screen!
nnikos ella,ella!!!!!!!!!
nunlike you to drop balls, kelv.
nif you want to check the size
of your tank make sure you`ve
got a canister with you
nyou should not park on a
roundabout to get some
fish`n`chips
nmr ben’s friends have an infe-
rior wrist action
nhi to all in hse47 last yr...miss
you loads...em
nwanted 4, 2yr management
students to do back to back
lease in jan 2000. interested?
contact li81ca
nhouse 57, it’s
julian!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nbelching,farting and being
sick at the ram - you will have
to start scrathing your balls
next time mavis ; b.b.
nbeware of vibrating tiggers
and uneven pavements in deep-
est hampshire. nice.
nfor f!%ks sake it said f!%king
platform 10. f!%k, or was it 9?
njan and carl- you know we
love you. how’s about it?
npervy petie you make me
soooooooo horny. from laura.
nchris + dom, the pervert con-
querers
nanyone want to sell speakers
to two dim mechies - contact
jez or chris
nliquid cooled - bargain at 250
quid - think we’ll have one (?)
each
njez and chris : what a thick
couple !
nto richard, thank you for tak-
ing us three nurses home on
monday night, you
nare a star, we’ll buy you a pint
if we see you at the bar.
nchris b: i won’t be happy
unless we can make it thru this
year together. i’m with you!
su.xx
ntoo much simpsons, never
nthe library reasurant would
like to see more people on a sat-
urday (10 till 2)
ndodgy blood, there is a house
full of it
nal do you have nothing to do
apart from read all the person-
als
nblokes in queues beware- luly
is about!!!
njust remember i didn’t even
say “i will if you will”.30.
nno grabbin’, only crabbin’
please lou!!!
nno face sucking in public
luly!!!!!!!
nhmmm, duff. or is it hmmm,
line freshness
nclaire, it’s only wk 9 and
you’ve already helped me so
much. if there’s anything i can
do...! su.xx
nbrad, chin up mate, the end
will soon be in sight!
nttl - must try harder
nhell - a tee-totaler who does-
n’t drive!
npetie the smelly pervert wash
your crusty pyjamas as we all
noticed they
were stained at the fire drill.
love house 59+60 uc.
nwarning!!! pink and fluffi-
ness is catching!
nmale needed for cold nights
in large room - contact helen
nyoung male found for cold
nights in small room!
nis the young male for commu-
nal use, la poubelle?
nduracell bunny’s training
kills!!
nc’mon u wimps!
nnorwich blond bloke....happy
20th birthday on the 10th!
nthat wasn’t a bomb blast in
bellfields, that was us shouting
at each other!
na-m you are still my angel...i
love you babe.
ndaa - love you loads!!!!
ngarry and vicky are you still
alive ? what are you doing in
there?
nnorthern people blow goats
ni know a young midwife
called daisy, who’s refusal to
dance drives me crazy
nresisting persuasion, on every
occasion, is she hard to get - or
just lazy?
nps: who’s the tall ginger one?
what a babe!
ngoing to the ram again, can i
spew too chew?
ncryin’ cox, dry your tears and
try the sp test!
n big brown nut hare - beware
the farmers gun; quincy never
misses!
n zammo spelling lessons
number 1. “whhoueeill”. but
where is the monkey? cliffy.
n hawkinson - i saw an abstract
the other day that might interest
you.
nwrfc - training - does it
exist????
nwrfc - thrashed before, but we
can still fight back (we just
need ateam)
nand, with a kink in it !
ntom, have you seen wendy
recently or a really big moon-
er???house 66 has got
you!!!!!
ncookie monster has no hair,
eats corned beef hash and has a
funny laugh but we love you,
from 66!!
nto 58 s**t head, see you at
next years grand prix. i’ll be
waiting with my fiver!!
nTo all the Surrey stingers.
Good luck against Bristol.
Smash them to pieces, Sandy
(The Dropout)
nHappy 21st Birthday Alex
from all your pals

Notices
Change Ringers AGM Child Care
Thursday 12th november at 18.30 in TB23 Help required with care of three school children age 13, 9, 5
Law Society AGM Tuesday 10th November 20.00 in for three days weekly term time and/or holidays. Car owner
the Grant Mitchell Room essential. Headley Down. (01428) 714 634
Canoe Club AGM Tuesday 10th November 13.00
Student Parking
Hari’s Bar
Parking around Guildford is notoriously difficult. Recently
MACS Society AGM - Friday 13 Nov. LTH 12.00 Students have been squashing their cars into St Johns road.
University of Surrey Lesbian,Gay and Bisexual This unfortunately has led to drives being blocked, emer-
Society meetings every gency access routes cut off. Those living in St Johns Road are
Tuesday 8pm, TB20b, or e-mail lgbsoc@surrey.ac.uk for fur- frequently unable to use their cars as they are parked in. This
ther information is both a nuisance and incredibly inconvenient. Please show a
Postgraduate Association Annual General little respect for the inhabitants of St Johns Road and park
considerately.
Meeting, Tuesday 10th November, 6pm, Wates House.
Pool Society start up meeting 18.00 by the pool tables on
Thursday 19th November
Extreme Sports club - White Water Rafting Trip -
Across Down Wednesday 11th November contact Hannah by pigeon hole.
1. Maybe (7) 1. Resentment (5) Also second parachuting course.
5. Premonition (5) 2. Kind of whiskey (3)
8. Peevish (9) 3. A sign of the zodiac (8)
9. Greedy eater (3) 4. Angry frowns (6) Lost - Yamaha FG411-E in black soft ‘Fender’ case. please
10. In a skilful way (8) 5. Dry outer covering (4) contact Mark Aplin ext 4250 email ph81ma - lots of senti-
12. Increase in size (4) 6. Inflammation of the kid- mental value - last seen outside NatWest bank.
14. Place of worship (6) neys (9) TAX CLINIC The next Tax Clinic will take place on
15. Talkative (6) 7. Public road (7)
Wednesday 11th November from 12-2pm by the Bottle Bank
17. Summit (4) 11.Person being conveyed
18. Imagined (8) (9) in the Union. No appointments necessary - just turn up with
21. Evacuate (3) 13. Racing-dogs (8) your queries.
22. member of benevolent 14. To wind about (7)
society (9) 16. Steering apparatus (6) COURSE REP TRAINING Apologies to any course reps
24. Rustic (5) 19.Bride’s gift to husband (5) who did not get an email about the course rep training that
25. Leisure period (4-3) 20. Mournful cry (4) was held earlier this week. The email server was down last
23. Cover (3) week, and returned my mail unsent a couple of days ago.
Last weeks solution Gill Venables
Across 1. comedy 4. spigot 8. winding 10. stare 11. records 12. If any one wants to buy a UniS ‘Choose SurreySport’ shirt
mount 13. preferences 18. Megan 19. tightly 22 rumba 23 show- then please go into the sports office and sign the form. The
man 24. oyster 25. spades
Down 1. coward 2. manic 3 drier 5. postman 6. granule 7. treaty cost will be £25 per polo shirt with £5 going towards the
Look out for the RAG mag on sale in the
9. gastritis 14. regimes 15. fanfare 16. embryo 17. hyenas 20. Colours ball.
group 21. timidCompiled by
Union
Jeff Blackham
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 10 (1,1)
10 Features
Primary Colours
Starring: John Travolta,
Emma Thompson and
Kathy Bates
Directed by: Mike
Nichols
Primary Colours is a
light hearted, quasi-
political account of a
wannabe president’s
journey through his
election campaign.
Although it is fictional,
it bears an uncanny sim-
ilarity to Clinton’s life.
Governor Stanton
(Travolta) is a womanising utopian who tries to
win over the public with his charmed rhetoric.
Emma Thompson plays his wife. Together they
go on television shows, visit cities, for publicity
etc.
All is going well until stories emerge, of the pres-
ident’s affairs with his wife’s hairdresser. Kathy
Bates plays a dirt buster sent to clear the gover-
nor’s name, which he then does. The film then
turns into a moralistic trudge though peoples
Small Soldiers
Starring: Gregory Smith as Alan Abernathy,
Kirsten Dunst as Christy Fimple. With the voice
of Tommy Lee Jones as Chip Hazard. Directed
by Joe Dante.
The Universal rating of this film is no excuse to
avoid seeing it; it is definitely not just for the
kids. The plot is based on a military company
buying a toy company to increase the chairman’s
already vast empire. He decides to use military
technology to create a new range of toys that play
back when you play with them. The Gorgonites
are created to learn and explore, and the Marines
are to wipe the aliens out.
The film plays on the ideas of military brutality.
The way in which the Marines use household
items to create weapons is definitely like some-
thing out of the A Team. The part in which they
animate a group of Barbie Dolls is also highly
The Exorcist
”Compared with some of today’s offerings, in
terms of violence and shock factor, this film is
positively mild and would only have warranted a
15 at most. In terms of scaring the crap out of you
in a more subconscious way, then yes, I can
begin to see why it was banned for such a long
time. It does get you thinking why evil is so evi-
dent and yet all that stands in the way of one girls
possession by the great unclean one is one half-
dead priest, one priest that doesn’t believe in
God, and a job-lot of holy water. The film is visu-
A Grand Day Out for the Pride of Surrey
There was no game for the magnificent machine
that is the University of Surrey rugby club last
Saturday so fourteen of us made the journey up
to London to watch how the game should be
played in the form of London Scottish against the
premiership leaders Bath. The day (it must be
said) was not conducive to a spectacle of running
rugby, much like the inside of a cave it was cold,
wet and dark. London Scottish began the game in
true fighting style and took an early 7 - 0 lead
through a well worked try which just happened to
be scored right in front of where we were sitting.
The bagpipes! (situated in the stand behind us)
went mental and proceeded not to shut up for the
rest of the first half, much to the Hound’s annoy-
ance! Vocal support from our group was ever
present as Munday frequently told the players (in
a friendly way) what he thought of them and how
they should be playing the game!
Bath brought themselves back into the game
through some hard and determined play, Mike
Catt kicked two penalties and the half time score
read: London Scottish 10, Bath 6. Various theo-
ries were produced concerning the best way to
acquire one’s food at the half time interval, the
past. The other candidates who at first appear
spotless, then find their bygone days coming
back to haunt them, leading it right to the wire
over who will get elected. The humour in the
film is quite like the ‘Larry Sanders show’, John
Travolta who has had some rocky times (look
who’s talking) puts in an average performance,
good on the surface but not much depth. But the
film is unexceptional, but not bad. It tries to get
across the value of policies over sensationalist
privacy invasions but it only does this in a dilut-
ed, half-hearted way.
amusing. If anything, the film tries to prove that
even if an enemy seems superior they can be
beaten.
Unlike Toy Story, from which a large amount of
parallels can be drawn, this film includes real
actors and scenes combined with stop-motion
animation and large amounts of computer-gener-
ated graphics. All the different technologies are
integrated seamlessly and flawlessly. The whole
film is superbly crafted. Part of the beauty of the
film is that you don’t notice that the special
effects are effects.
Although the human casting is a bit weak at
times, the animated characters are superbly done,
and definitely add to the film’s realism and
believability. Unfortunately it is unlikely to do as
well as Toy Story, but deserves to do well at the
cinemas. 9/10 Gareth Harmer
ally striking, very tense in places, and the story is
coherent and utterly original. Mark Kermode, the
Radio One film critic, called this the best film
ever made - I agree it’s good, and definitely
worth a look, but not as good as to justify all the
hype and myths that years of censorship create.
A quick warning for all those who hold a cruci-
fix and what it stands for dear -you’ll find one
scene very offensive. Depressing and claustro-
phobic, but on the whole, a damn fine film.
7/10.”
sure-fire winner appeared to be letting Bucks
stand in the queue and then getting everyone to
place their order through him! When we had all
returned to our seats with food and drink we
informed the players that they could restart the
game at their convenience. Bath were obviously
listening as they camped on London Scottish’s
five metre line through a seemingly never ending
onslaught of scrimmaging, coupled with shouts
from the crowd of “F**K ME! Look how low that
scrum is!” Not perhaps the most attractive aspect
of rugby to watch for ten minutes, but when Bath
eventually scored all the forwards (especially AJ
and Myself) could empathise with how shagged
out all the players would have been feeling!
London Scottish then kicked another penalty and made
the score 13 - 11 in their favour. Major stress occurred
for all the home supporters when Bath had two penal-
ties in the dying minutes of the game, but as Mike Catt
shows for England, his kicking ability is just as sturdy as
it ever was!!!
So, it was a memorable win for London Scottish,
an enjoyable day out for all those who went
(even if it was bloody freezing!) and an even
more enjoyable evening??? The Boy Davis.
Thursday November 5 1998
The Importance of being Earnest
Yvonne Arnaud Theatre
For anyone who is illiterate, ‘The Importance of
Being Earnest’ is one of the funnies, cleverest,
well written plays ever in the history of the
world. Oscar Wilde’s play is suitably done jus-
tice, in this production, currently in Guildford’s
local theatre. Indeed Wilde said of the play him-
self, “The first act is ingenious, the second beau-
tiful, the third abominably clever¼(it is) exquis-
itely trivial, a delicate.
Few other playwrights have matched the Wit,
Game Review - Sin
Publisher:
Activision.
Price: £34.99.
Format: PC CD
Due for release
on Friday, this
game is the lat-
est offering
from Ritual
Entertainment
and Activision.
Based on the
hugely suc-
cessful Quake 2 engine, it tries to persuade the
games buying public out there that there is some-
thing new available. However, it doesn’t really
work.
The game is designed around the idea that Elexis
Sinclaire, head of the Sintek Corporation, is con-
ducting immoral and illegal experiments on the
Citizens of Freeport with a DNA altering drug.
You, as Commander John Blade, are to find her
and make her pay. The game does a good job of
setting the scene, with cutscenes created in-
game. The engine also allows use of other vehi-
cles as the game requires. Although this provides
some interesting effects, it still does not differen-
tiate it enough from other games already avail-
First Past The Post
Spotlight on Horse Racing by Eddie Heardman
What has happened over the last week in the
world of horse racing? Escartefigue proved a big
disappointment at Wetherby, trailing fourth to the
veteran Strath Royal, a performance which has
seen the former’s odds for the Cheltenham Gold
Cup lengthen to 10’s. Keep an eye out for
Navarre Samson, a promising novice hurdler
who completed a four-timer here. Paddy’s Return
probably needed the run when finishing second
as a hot favourite on his first showing over fences
at Ascot. Also at Ascot, Jamie Osborne returned
to the saddle following a serious injury last
November, and then the suspension of his license
pending race-fixing allegations. Charges were
dropped, and he made his reappearance in some
style, winning the John Durkan Memorial Chase
on Coome Hill, now down at 20’s for the Grand
National, and 16’s for the Gold Cup. This victo-
ry was particularly poignant, since Osborne and
Durkan were good friends prior to his death from
leukaemia earlier this year.
On the same vein, Jenny Pitman, famed for being
the first woman to train a Grand National winner,
and laugh out loud amusement here in this play.
Without giving too much away, the play is set in
Victorian times, it revolves around Ernest (John)
Worthing, trying to marry his beloved
Gwendolen. But his valiant efforts run into prob-
lems, over his upbringing, and lack of knowledge
of it. It is all resolved in the third act, when
Ernest’s history suddenly becomes apparent. The
cast do the play excellent justice, and even if you
are just a casual theatre go’er it is still an unmiss-
able experience.
able on the market.
Sin borrows heavily from both Quake 2 and
Tomb Raider 2, in the way that the level design is
similar to Quake 2 (i.e., lots of enclosed corridors
and rooms) and the vehicle usage and ‘think
before you shoot’ puzzles is blatantly taken from
Lara Croft’s finest. In fact, it appears that
Activision have used similar marketing for Sin,
with posters everywhere for the product depicting
a well-endowed computer generated woman in a
skimpy outfit. While this method of advertising
may have worked previously, I would like to
think that we have all grown up now. Just be glad
you don’t see the cheesy promotional material.
In terms of the game itself, it doesn’t present any-
thing new. With the release of Half-Life just
around the corner, there will soon be much better
games to spend your 35 quid on. Sin doesn’t
deserve to do well, but unfortunately probably will
because of the huge marketing hype behind it.
In my opinion, don’t buy it. Save your money to
go down the Union and get pissed. You’ll have
more fun...
Grade: D - Use the CD as a coaster. Marker:
Gareth Harmer.
announced this week that she has been fighting
cancer of the thyroid gland. A malignant growth
was detected last December, but it was not until
July this year that a cancer was confirmed. All
associated with racing are keeping their fingers
crossed.
Coming up over the next few days, is the
Breeder’s Cup in the USA. In the mile race,
Newmarket-trained Desert Prince (5/2) is expect-
ed to carry the European flag, a view confirmed
by the French jockey, Oliver Peslier, who has
already won the Derby and the Arc de Triomphe
this summer. The last big flat race of the year in
this country, the mile-and-a-half November
Handicap, will be run at Doncaster on Saturday.
Perennially injured Dato Star has been placed on
both his previous runs in this, and makes his bid
for third time lucky at odds of 10-1, despite being
more known these days for his hurdling ability. If
his body holds up, we may even be seeing this
horse attempting the larger obstacles by the end
of the season.
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 11 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Surrey Pride 11

Surrey Pride Star Profile Miracles Come in Three’s - Merrow A 3 University GI Res 5
Number 3, Ben Davis As the rain poured dramatically down onto mole to the melting pot, and the arrival of the similarly long range effort after all the hard
the tortured Guildford traffic, the Graduate referee was cheered with a relief that indicat- work had been done by the striking partner-
Vital Stats; and Industrial year reserve side left the Car ed I was not alone in my original concerns. ship. With the half-time score at 3-1 we were
Age: 21 Park 1 meeting place convinced that the never in any danger of losing this one!
Dept:LIS (Lewinsky game would be unceremoniously abandoned With a pitch inspection revealing a surpris-
International Stud) once the referee arrived at our East Horsley ingly immaculate pitch given the rain, the The second half introduction of Schoolboy
Nicknames: ‘ B o y destination. Of course, we had to get there as game began at a furious pace with both sides Delvin (for the Wise Olde Sage) and Bins
Davis’, ‘Boy D’, well. Arriving at the 12.30 congregation I eager to gain an early advantage. It was Bryant (for Ian ‘Do you need me Saturday? -
‘Benji’, ‘Monika’ was saddened to note the absence of three Merrow who threatened first and indeed took Of course we bloody do’ Morton) settled a
Measurements: players who had confirmed their availability the lead as their aged striker raced between tiring University side before Jackanory Fagan
5’11, 13.5 stone for the fixture. Jumping automobiles to join Yannis and Pissboy Cake to ripple the back of converted a 75th minute penalty to settle the
(ooof!) familiar chiseller Andy ‘I’m staying in to the net with the freshly propelled synthetic game (No Spooner you’re not having a hat-
Sporting Interests: grout the bathroom tiles’ Davey for a dozen spheroid. Surrey, however, were not about to trick!). Despite two further goals from
Rugby mainly, but all rounds of ‘It never happened in my day’ we let some arthritic clogger going through the Merrow (we’ll not mention it, Bob!) the
sports really stopped by the Mansion to pick up a kit and a male menopause to spoil their day. A guttur- game had been wrapped up 5 minutes from
confused ginga bloke. al cry from the bowels of the irrepressible the whistle as the third of the days miracles
Marital Status: Married (First gentleman of the Union) lion at the heart of the Surrey Pride issued occurred. Following Bryant’s repeated
Finally arriving at Kingston Meadow after forth from the whole team as we strode con- attempts to score from a corner with his knee,
Personal Info; panicked mobile phone conversations and fidently back into the game. the ball fell kindly to yours truly who did his
What is your favourite feature? Don’t know, some outrageous driving from the Battery utmost to break the back of the net with a
maybe eyes. Fed Pinkie, the oppo were pleased to The boy Blomfelt looked supernaturally busy venomous strike from, ooh, must have been
What do you go for in a woman? Obviously, this announce that the game was mostly likely to (urine samples were taken for toxicological about a yard. Final score 5-3 and as yet
answer will be edited anyway, so I’ll just say honesty and be ‘on’ but the ref hadn’t arrived as yet. investigation!) as he whizzed about the park unconfirmed rumours from the oppo’s dress-
someone who’s not afraid to be themselves (bit paranoid Unwilling as I was to play a League game leaving Barrel Belly Babbs to do the simple ing room that the result leaves Brucie’s
Ben? - Sports Ed.) with some local Pikey deciding whether or stuff. Within 10 minutes the pair had neatly Learned Elder Brothers at the top of the table.
Favourite Drink? Definitely beer not the grunting centre back was trying to set up a brace of 4 yard tap-ins for Spooner
Favourite Food? Steak and Chips play the ball as he ritually confined most of with fine running and crosses from the by- What followed was a mammoth Saturday
Favourite Music? Absolutely anything our team to wheelchairs, the thought of line. The Gods were obviously smiling on us night session with the Boy Sumner joining in
telling the squad that for the second week with this miracle of finishing prowess from the celebs and his alias, Cliffy’s little brother,
Sporting Info: running they had driven from all corners of the man with all the usual precision of a getting absolutely ruined despite the best
What does Surrey Sport give you? An excellent the South East to be turned away in the car nuclear attack on an ant hill and they felt they attempts of Canon Fodder Cake to dampen
University lifestyle park was a little too much for me. The chang- had more to prove. Next on the scoresheet his spirits. Big Brother
What is your; ing room banter flowed at its usual electric was the perennial Randy ‘I’ve got a knock
most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? Either pace, fuelled by the addition of the myopic but should be OK next week’ Davey with a
beating Queen Mary’s in the BUSA quarter final by a
penalty try in my first year or scoring a solo try from our 10 UniS Top of the Big League By Mustapha Rally Surrey Angel
metre line last season. UniS 5 - 0 Lee on Solent (to the tune of the Robbie Williams classic)
funniest moment you can recall from your days at UniSquash have progressed probably have settled for a 4-1 win
Surrey? This year; standing naked in the Varsity, downing through the second round of the and an early retirement to refresh-
a pint in front of the netball birds with my Club tie tied I sit and wait,
National Squash League without ment. It was always going to be a Surrey Angel contemplates my fate,
around my Presidential election poll (courtesy of Meharg knowing what it is like for an oppo- tough match anyway. John Russell
and AJ). And does She know,
nent to win a match! With three of and Lisa were the only players to The places where I’ll go,
most embarrassing moment? pulling in Bo’s the players from game one unavail- have played in the first match. John
only to get the unfortunate bird home and find I am com- When I leave her fold?
able due to World Tour commit- had played at No 3 and had been Cos I have been told,
pletely incapapble of performing any service with the ments, it was a big test for some of the only one to drop a game. His
exception of totally passing out. Graduation, sometimes breaks Her hold.
the younger and perhaps less-fan- opponent, Nathan Dugan is ranked So I am proving to myself,
worst injury? I nearly broke my neck in my first year cied players. 16 in England and 56 in the World
(nice!) I can’t love no one else,
– a massive 40 places higher than And when I feel there’s nothing left,
Do you have any sporting superstitions? Never Ross Norman played his first John. The first two games went
wash your smalls when you’re winning! I’m loving Surrey to death.
game for the team at No 4. Ross with the predicted form 15/12 &
How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? was World Champion in 1989. 15/3 and it looked like a formality,
It’s made it definitely better. Cos when She sings,
Now 37 and having been out of but John dug deep in his ample She brings Surrey to my dreaming,
Is sex better before or after sport? Better in the White Squash, injured, for nine months he reserves to grit out the third game
House (the pub, of course - Sports Ed.) And wakes me from my sleep-in,
stormed through to beat 19 year-old by the odd point. When he won the And fills my life with Pride.
Who is your sporting role model? Probably a mixture Joe Russell 3-0. Ross, from New fourth game in less than five min-
of Lawrence Dallagio, Rob Andrews and Peter Each and every dawn,
Zealand has had a huge following utes dropping only 4 points, it was Cathedral bells are ringing,
Winterbottom (what a handsome combination) and has been playing for a number obvious that a major upset was on
Which sports personality would you most like to meet? Below the Angel singing,
of years in this country. He was cer- the cards. Five minutes later and it “I’m Surrey Till I Die”
Michael Jordan tainly a big attraction for most of was all over. Perhaps it was the
Sum yourself up in 3 words? The Boy Davis There’s no escaping....
the 200-strong gallery. At the same pressure, or the long rallies of the I’m loving Surrey tonight.
Alex Sutherland’s nominated question; Does size matter time, Neil Frankland was beating first two games, a gruelling pro-
in sport? Only in my sport (rugby), lucky for you that Alter a much-fancied Stacey Ross 3-0 gramme of Squash matches or con-
plays golf eh Alex? When I’m feeling weak,
playing at No 2. This was a partic- cern for those of us who had had At the Varsity and can hardly speak,
Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question ularly good win for Neil in his first nothing to eat for the previous 10
would you like added to the profile list for next weeks I look above,
match for UniS as Stacey is a for- hours and who could smell the And I know She’ll always give me enough,
Star? Are obesity and unfitness an issue in the sport of mer British Under16 Champion lasagne crisping in the ovens.
hockey (Are they a problem in Rugby, Ben, more to the Till the final whistle blows,
and looked very strong. Another Whatever the reason, the match had And through my body flows,
point? - Ben M - refering to blatant purgery in ‘measure- player making his debut was Eric ended 5-0 to Guildford and the
ments’ answer) Blue and Yellow blood,
McAlpine. He dropped the first spectators left shaking their heads I’m loving Surrey for good.
Cheers Ben and a fine question to test the imagination game before charging through the and wondering who would be the
of fellow Sports Exec and Hockey Club Captain next three against Gareth Webber. first to take games off this new
Shuffler Russel in next week’s profile. Boy D had to Cos when She sings,
Gareth is the current Hampshire team on the scene. The full league She makes me feel like crying,
leave somewhat unexpectedly following his interview as Champion, and has just graduated tables are printed below. It must be
he was due to appear before the Starr Commission to My Surrey wings are flying,
from UWIC who took the brunt of rewarding for NTL CableTel to see Up high into the Pride.
answer questions about his entanglements in the Oval our first involvement in the the team riding so high when they
office (ahem!). And when I’m feeling down,
National League during the last came into the programme initially She lifts me to the ceiling,
match two weeks ago. Lisa Opie not really knowing how well we And gives me back the feeling,
was next up. The format of these would be able to do in this, the That I’m Surrey Till I Die,
matches is four men and a woman. toughest Squash League in the And keep believing...
Her opponent was 17 year old World. I’m loving the Surrey Pride.
Dominique Lloyd-Walter who was Next match – away at Chichester,
determined to make Lisa play for transport available – Tuesday Cos when she sings,
every point. A former British November 10th 1998. (The away I feel my spirit rising,
Champion , Lisa had to call on games after Christmas are Cardiff The lion in me fighting,
every ounce of willpower and and Exeter, so if you are likely to Forever Surrey Pride.
courtcraft to edge out her opponent want to go, Chichester is the one!) Till Colours Ball,
in a tough five setter. Contact Jacquie on Ext.9242 if you Keep that winning feeling,
are at all interested or want to know Never stop believing,
This meant the match stood at 4-0 more. You are promised a fabulous You’re Part of Surrey Pride,
with the No 1 players yet to play. evenings’ entertainment. The only There’s no reliving,
The faithful supporters who had home match before Christmas is Surrey Until You Die.
travelled from Guildford would Tuesday November 24th.
Cliffy
ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 12 (1,1)
Surrey Pride Goes Downhill!!!!!!!
Whilst the Rugby, Football and Hockey
clubs may be able to boast trophy rooms
bursting with silverware, Surrey now has a
new club looking for a bit of room in a tro-
phy cabinet. Following a three year absence
from competitions, conditions peaked on
Halloween, with a force 5 gale blowing and
torrential rain falling the time had finally
arrived for Surrey Pride to take a flying leap
downhill under the disguise of the Ski Club.
The past 8 weeks have seen the Ski (soon to
be renamed Ski & Snowboard) Club fly into
action faster than Eddie the Eagle could get
knocked out of an Olympic ski jumping com-
petition. Starting with over 200 people sign up at
the Sports Fayre (sucked in by the offer of a very
prestigious freebie car sticker) the serious business
of running a sports club was launched into action.
A trip to the Ram, a pub crawl round Guildford and
numerous meals at Burger King were all part of the
strict training regime undertaken by the Ski Club.
Due to a lack of (a) Snow and (b) Mountains in the
Surrey countryside, skiing takes place on a Sunday
in Guildford for beginners, on a Monday at High
Wycombe for everyone and on a Thursday at
Bracknell for the really keen ones. Thanks to some
gentle persuasion from the newly appointed race
captain (this position was given to the fastest,
bravest and arguably maddest skier on the last ski
holiday), a bit of
training from the
British Ski
Academy and sev-
eral pints of Stella
forcing the words
“Yer I’m up for
that” out of a few
people, all of a sud-
den Surrey had
itself a Ski Race
Team! Once the
team had been
Almost too fast for the camera selected the next
step was simply
to fling ourselves down a ski slope, zig zag round
a few poles and get to the bar before we had a
chance to realise what the hell we were doing.
After the years of waiting, the moment of truth
finally arrived at 7pm on Halloween at a ski slope
somewhere in Essex on possibly the most miser-
able, wettest night of the year so far. With the pop-
ularity of the ski club allowed Surrey to enter not
just one team but a staggering two teams (the real
reasons for this were (a) So the First Team felt
important and could tell all their friends they are in
“the First Team” and (b) So that the First Team had
some hope of beating at least one other team!), the
intrepid 10 set off for the first round of the London
& South East, Kings Ski Club
Competition. Having been assured by
the organisers of the light hearted
nature of the competition, it was with
some surprise that we arrived to find
Oxford, Cambridge, UCL, Reading,
Kent and in fact most of the others all
sporting matching outfits, several lay-
ers of protective padding, fancy hel-
mets, shiny looking skis and boots
and just generally looking shit hot!
With 26 teams entered somehow
Surrey 1 managed to be called for the
Surrey Skiers last to leave the piste celebratios.
mens football 1st xi v Portsmouth
mens football 2nd xi v St.maty’s
mens football 3rd xi v Chichester
mens football 4th xi v Southampton
mens badminton 1st v So’tin institute
womens badminton v Kingston
mens fencing v Southampton
mens hockey 1st v Bouremouth
mens hockey 2nd v Reading
womens hockey 1st v S o’tin institute
Surrey Pride
The UniS ski team on piste
very first race of the evening against Kent 1. This
wouldn’t have been such a problem was it not for
the fact that (a) Half the team hadn’t even had a
warm up run. (b) Sacha (our gallant Race Captain)
was still inside putting his boots on. (d) Caroline
was having second thoughts about being in the first
team and point blank refused to go down! And (d)
We had absolutely no idea what the hell was going
on anyway! So with a few minor tweaks to the
team, off Surrey went to come a brave second (out
of 2) in our first race. Things did, however, pick up
considerably after this with Surrey 1 beating
Brighton 1 in our second race and managing to
come 11th out of 26 overall. With a ranking above
teams from Cambridge, Brighton, Southampton,
Reading, UCL and quite a few others, as far as we
were concerned 11th was a stunning first round
victory considering our 3 year break from compe-
titions.
The pride doesn’t end there however. Surrey 2 also
put up a good fight (especially considering none of
the team had ever been down a racecourse in their
lives before!) and finished a very respectable 19th.
Whilst Surrey can now hold our head up high in
the stuck up world of skiing, we can be even
prouder of the fact that out of the 26 teams entered
our 2 teams were the very last to leave the pub
where the post-race celebrations were taking
place!
Before making the journey back to Essex for the
second round, the ski club are also going to the
BUSC (British University Ski Club) championship
in Edinburgh in a few weeks. A considerable
amount of training is inevitable before this, start-
ing with a Ski Club Social at the Outrage
Snowboard Party in the Union. If anyone would
like to know more about the ski club or wants to
join then give Ewen a call on 4354 or send us an
email at ee51ef@surrey.ac.uk. Oh and if anyone
wants to come on the Ski Trip to Val D’Isere in
January or wants to know more about it then get in
touch with us real soon as the places are filling up
faster than our race captain can put his boots on
and stagger to the top of the slope only to realise
he’s missed the first two races!
BUSA - Results - Wednesday 28/10/98 results
0 5
0 4
0 4
1 7
8 1
6 3
11 16
3 4
0 8
5 3
“Netballers do it in any position!”
Whilst several of Saturday’s fixtures were
washed out due to huge amounts of rain, the
netball team proved that they were “harder”
than members of other inferior teams (mens
hockey, football etc) and braved the weather to
continue their (almost) unbeaten run in the
Guildford netball league. On turning up out-
side campusport it quickly became obvious who
had been to FNO and who had not, it still
remains a mystery why our club captain needed
picking up in the middle of town and not at her
house on the Chase.
Since it was nearly Halloween it was concluded
that she had been carried off by an evil spirit
despite protest that she had only been to the
bank and her car had broken down
(Hmmmmmmm........) After arriving at the
school and wading through a marsh to find the
courts we searched unsuccessfully for our oppo-
nents before deciding that they had stayed in
bed. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case, they
were merely sheltering nearby and we resigned
ourselves to the catch that we were going to
have to play. Lisa announced that she didn’t
like “playing in clothes” when it was raining,
this confused some of us until we realised that
Surrey Students Increase Pressure on Eddie George’s Men
Uni of Surrey 2nd XI 3 Bank of England 2nd XI 0
Following last weeks “war and Peacesque
saga” this weeks report is decidedly shorter.
The monsoon hit Fortress Varsity became even
more secure than usual, as on Saturday we had,
following the down pour, managed to construct
a crude though effective moat in an attempt to
repel the invaders.
For the second week we were forced to wear
the ladies kits, due to the Bank not bringing an
away strip. As this impromptu meeting of trans-
sexual soc got underway I was concerned that
this was the most visually damaging meeting of
any society in Surrey’s history. There was how-
ever no time to dwell as despite the fact that I
had not finished applying varnish to my nails,
and that Badger was “mid-wax” on the removal
of his Bikini line, the rain forced an early start.
Despite the scoreline of 3-0 Surrey completely
dominated this match, spending most of the
The University of Surrey Shotokan Karate Club
Hello there, maybe you saw the short demo of
Karate at Sports Fair or maybe you came over
to the Karate club stand and had a chat. If you
ever thought that you were interested in Karate,
you didn’t make it to Sports Fair, you’re a bit
unsure about the whole thing or you simply for-
got then come along and watch one of our
training sessions; no obligations. You can find
us in Teaching Block room 10 on Monday
from 8pm to 9:30 pm and on Wednesdays we’re
in the Main Hall at Campusport from 7:30pm
to 9:20pm.
There are many different styles of Karate and
Shotokan is one of the oldest and most popular.
So no matter where you go in the world you
will be able to find somewhere to practice.
Classes start with basic training exercises
which develop into more complicated forms as
your ability progresses. Progression is the key
word here as at every stage you’ll be encour-
aged (and given a helpful push) to improve
netball 2nd v Portmouth
mens rugby 1st xv v Sussex
mens rugby 2nd xv v Sussex
womens rubgy v Brighton
mens squash 1st v So’tin institute
mens squash 2nd v Reading
womens squash v Southampton
mens volleyball v Sussex
womens volleyball v Brighton
mens tennis v St. mary’s
womens tennis v Southampton
she was referring to her fleece and tracksuit
trousers ! The game started and we were sur-
prised and happy to see that they only had five
players, two of them having the sense to decide
that netball on a Saturday morning in torrential
rain was not a good idea. Surrey made the most
of their lack of players and decided to show
them what real netball was all about. At half
time the score was 42-10 thanks to some excel-
lent dodging and attacking manoeuvres (obvi-
ously learned on the dance floor the previous
night !) and it was decided that we would claim
the match and play the rest as a friendly despite
the fact that this meant forfeiting the opportuni-
ty to score our first “100”. The teams were
mixed and positions drawn out randomly, not
only did this make it closer but it also proved
the theory that “netballers can do it in any posi-
tion” ! By the time the final whistle went we
were all soaked, freezing and vowing never to
stay out late on a Friday night again (until next
week.....). Many thanks to all who played, to Jo
for her excellent umpiring and to those who
drove, we’ll wash the mud off your cars some-
time !
The Ex Team Slapper
game camped on the opposition’s 25 Yard line.
Our goals came from Mikey “we love you” P
(another top draw goal), Tom “Heartbreak”
Heenan a deflection from a powerful drive in
the “D”, and Jason “1” Rogers that the keeper
was unlucky to not save.
The fact that the game’s scorers are 1st XI play-
ers did not go unnoticed to the opposition, who
must have thought this an unfair policy of the
Badger’s. However we did draw a great deal
from this game as the discipline that our “New
guys” brought to the game is a lesson to all in
marking, passing etc. All in all a fine victory,
and a welcome respite from our BUSA cam-
paign. Congratulations to Ben “Lewinsky”
Davis who appears to finally have become the
President’s favourite intern (I personally
thought you would have got into the “Oval”
office next year anyway).
Kenneth Starr
and reach for the ultimate goal of perfection. As
well as improving your co-ordination, confi-
dence and fitness you’ll find that these qualities
can be transferred into other aspects of your
life. The most important principle for training,
however, is spirit. Karate is a trial of mind and
body and therefore is also a form of philosophy.
Our instructors Steve Prince and Phil Reid have
over 50 years of experience between them;
Steve recently achieved his 4th dan (degree)
black belt - a very high accolade. Steve is an
`old boy’, he began Karate when he was like
you, studying at the University for his degree.
At the moment we have a good mix of grades
in the club and we do our best to cater for
everyone.
Hopefully, all this talk of fitness, confidence
and philosophy has intrigued you, so all that
remains is for me to once again invite you to
come along to one of our classes and find out
for yourself more about our art.
30 23
13 29
34 24
0 60
`4 1
0 5
w/o to Surrey
3 0
1 3
1 5
0 6