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Chris Little
1 April 2015
Theatre History 2
Private Lives

Same Character, Different Sexes

Gender Equality in Private Lives
Traditional gender stereotypes are present in many works from the early part of the
century. The play Private Lives, by Noel Coward, is a comedy of manners contains the gender
stereotyped stock characters, but only as secondary characters, Victor and Sibyl, Victor being a
mans man and Sibyl being a belle. The main characters, Elyot and Amanda, do not quite fit
these stereotypes. Through these characters behaviors and their relationships at the beginning
of the play, as well as through their relationships with Sibyl and Victor, Coward creates
characters who do not give in to the idea of traditional gender stereotypes and shows that men
and women can in fact be equals.
From the first scene, it is obvious that Amanda and Elyot view each other as equals. They
are not even with each other, but the sense of equality is obvious. Elyot says early on when
Sibyl, his new wife, says that she would never make [Elyot] miserable like [Amanda] did,
Elyot responds by saying, we made each other miserable, (Act I). When Amanda enters with
her new husband, Victor, she speaks to the same effect, saying that their unhappiness was

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mutual. This shows that both Amanda and Elyot feel that they are complete equals, even after
their divorce. Also in the first act, there are coincidences that occur that help to unify Amanda
and Elyot as equals. For example, the fact that they are on the same honeymoon trip is one way,
but an even bigger coincidence is the way they try to handle the situation. Not only do both
Amanda and Elyot try to get their partner to leave with them right away, but they both select the
same location to flee to, Paris. This serves a different purpose than the fact that they are both at
the same place on their Honeymoons at the same time. The situation they are in is just merely a
plot device. It is common to have a coincidental circumstance to cause the conflict. However,
deciding to leave to the same place demonstrates that Elyot and Amanda are basically the same
person. Both Amanda and Elyot gamble, they both enjoy getting a sun burn, and they even both
married younger spouses. This is more than just a coincidence. Coward is telling the reader that
Elyot and Amanda are in fact two of a kind.
More insight into the equality of Elyot and Amanda can be seen through their
relationships with their respective partners, Sibyl and Victor. The relationship between Amanda
and Victor is interesting. When these two enter in the first act, Victor cannot stop talking about
how he would treat Amanda differently. Victor says of Elyot, Id like to break his damned
neck, (Act I). This is one of several instances in which Victor acts extra buff. He is an example
of a stock character; the mans man. Amanda laughs at the idea of Victor breaking Elyots neck,
thinking that there is no need to do that. This laughter helps to enforce the idea that the
stereotypical gender roles are foolish and should not be a thing. By laughing, it shows that

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Amanda does not feel the same way about Elyot as Victor does. She does not need a manly man
to take care of her. She is also not the stereotypical dainty woman. However, Victor believes
that women should behave and act a certain way. He constantly is buttering Amanda up in act
one. One example of this is when he says, I couldn't love you more than I do now, and
Amanda replies by saying, Oh, dear. I did so hope our honeymoon was going to be
progressive, (Act I). Victors claim is typical of the romantic mans man who looks out for his
lady. If Amanda was more of a stereotypical woman, the line would be charming. However,
Amanda reacts by hoping that their relationship would grow. She does not just want to be an
object of his affection. She wants a relationship of substance that can progress and not be
stagnant. In the same conversation, Amanda says that she wants to get sunburn. Victor then tells
her that he does not like sunburnt woman. She does not care, she wants to burn anyway. The
same line about a woman not being sunburnt is said by Sibyl in the beginning of the act. This
contrast in opinion between Sibyl and Amanda shows that Amanda is not the most feminine of
women, especially when compared to Sibyl. Due to her response to both hyper masculinity and
hyper femininity, she falls on the line between the two stereotypical gender roles.
Sibyl and Elyots relationship has the same dynamic as the Victor and Amanda
relationship, except that Sibyl is overly feminine and Elyot is somewhere in between. Sibyl and
Elyot from the beginning of act one have obvious differences of opinion when it comes to fitting
in to gender roles. Sibyl not only has an idea that women should be a certain way. Besides the
issue with sunburnt women mentioned above, she also hates these half-masculine women who

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go banging about, to which Elyot responds, I hate anybody who goes banging about, (Act I).
This is a subtle difference, but it goes a long way to show the difference between Sibyl and
Elyots beliefs. On the surface, Sibyl is saying that she hates women who are not dainty and
carry themselves aggressively. But with the same statement, she implies that men go banging
around all the time, and it does not bother her. Elyot on the other hand, does not like when
anyone bangs around, never mind just women. He thinks that no one should be overly
aggressive. Elyots subtle difference in opinion reflects the idea that men and women should be
treated equally. Through the above exchange, it is introduced that Sibyl has a distinct view of
what a man should be. At one point during the first act, Elyot says that he would be all the man
Sibyl wants him to be, to which she responds, I like a man to be a man, (Act I). This belief
and the fact that she is very feminine combine to make her a character in support of stereotypical
gender roles.
Neither Amanda nor Elyot fit the mold that their spouse thinks that they should fit. They
both have an androgynous gender type. They have no overly masculine or overly feminine
qualities. The balance that each of them has creates them as equals. Even in their relationship,
the things they do are balanced. This includes the physical violence. This is used to show
equality. In contemporary society, it is unacceptable for a man to strike a woman. It is slightly
less taboo for a woman to strike a man, but it is still frowned upon. The fact that both Elyot and
Amanda abuse each other sets them as equals. Amanda claims about the beatings I've been
brought up to believe that it is beyond the pale for a man to strike a woman, choosing this

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instant to refer to herself as a normal woman. Amanda claims that women should not be struck
and that it is improper to hit a woman. However, she is the first one to use violence in the
second act of the play. This shows that she thinks it fine to be used against men. Also, she hits
Elyot with a Gramophone, whereas Elyot just uses his hand. The Gramophone definitely hurts
more than the bare hand, and is a more violent way to beat someone. Elyot responds to this
claim, saying, Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs, (Act II). Elyots response
to her is not intended to be that of an abusive partner. When he says some women should be, he
does not mean it in a misogynistic way, but rather more like a way in saying that if someone
deserves to be beaten they should be beaten. The response has the same intent behind it as his
response to Sibyl mentioned earlier. Also, as depicted above, Elyot is not a traditional man like
Victor is. He tells Sibyl that he will try to be a man for her. And Amanda is not the traditional
woman like Sibyl. She is not dainty and can handle herself. This helps to level the field. Elyot
does not view Amanda as a woman, but as an equal, so if she is willing to beat him, he has no
problem reciprocating the abuse. And Amanda only views Elyot as a man here because it is
beneficial to her to do so in this instance.
At first glance, some of the violence in the play can be viewed as a lapse in equality. The
characters in the play turn to violence when they are trying to get the upper hand and no longer
want to be equal. Take for instance, the end of the play, where Sibyl and Victor have their
encounter. They start arguing violently and eventually start beating each other to get what their
way. However, violence is only ever used between two characters that are equal in belief

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circumstance, are just completely equal. On the surface, Sibyl and Victor are different from each
other. They do not see themselves as equal in all forms, and they are not the same person like
Elyot and Amanda seem to be at times. Yet, at the end, they are equals. However, their roles in
the play, their beliefs on gender norms and the circumstance they find themselves in make them
so. Each of them is trying to fight for their marriage to survive. Neither wants their first
marriage to be a failure, so they are ready to fight it out. In that moment right before Victor and
Sibyl start to fight, they lose all of their differences. Victor no longer is the tough gentleman
who is still chivalrous, and Sibyl is no longer the innocent dainty lady. They both become
warriors fighting for their territory. This shows that on some level, men and women are in fact
equal and should be treated that way.
Cowards decision to make Elyot and Amanda equals gives insight on the subject of
equality. The ending helps to clarify his stance. The decision to have Amanda and Elyot end the
play as a couple helps to solidify the argument for equality between men and women. These two
characters are basically the same person and then wind up as a unit at the end of the play. They
are equal on all fundamental levels. The only major difference between the two is their
biological sex. This ending shows that Coward believes men and women should be treated
equally. The old way of thinking that a man has to be tough and a woman is weak and cries a lot
is out of date for Coward. He much prefers the two gender neutral characters being equal to end
up together, showing that he believes in gender equality.

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Elyot and Amandas relationship, as well as the secondary relationships with Sibyl and
Victor help to depict two characters of opposite sexes to be completely equal. By doing so,
Coward is able to challenge the idea of treating the two sexes differently. The complete balance
between the two characters help to support gender equality and advocates for fair treatment
between men and women.

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Chris Little
23 March 2015
Theatre History 2
Private Lives
TITLE
Traditional gender stereotypes are present in many works from the early part of the
century. The play Private Lives, by Noel Coward, contains characters that fit these stereotypes,
but only as secondary characters. The main characters, Elyot and Amanda, do not quite fit these
stereotypes. Through these characters behaviors and their relationships at the beginning of the
play, as well as through their relationships with Sibyl and Victor, Coward creates characters who
do not give in to the idea of traditional gender stereotypes and shows that men and women can in
fact be equals.
From the first scene, it is obvious that Amanda and Elyot view each other as equals. They
are not even with each other, but the sense of equality is obvious. Elyot says early on when Sibyl,
his new wife, says that she would never make [Elyot] miserable like [Amanda] did, Elyot
responds by saying, we made each other miserable, (Act I). When Amanda enters with her
new husband, Victor, she speaks to the same effect, saying that their unhappiness was mutual.
This shows that both Amanda and Elyot feel that they are complete equals, even after their
divorce. Also in the first act, there are coincidences that occur that help to unify Amanda and
Elyot as equals. For example, the fact that they are on the same honeymoon trip is one way, but
an even bigger coincidence is the way they try to handle the situation. Not only do both Amanda

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and Elyot try to get their partner to leave with them right away, but they both select the same
location to flee to, Paris.

II. Relationship of Amanda and Victor.

A. VICTOR: Id like to break his damned neck.
1. This one of several instances in which Victor acts all buff. He is supporting
the jealous boyfriend stereotype that reverts to physical violence. Amandas reaction to this
comment is to laugh. This laughter helps to enforce the idea that the stereotypical gender roles
are foolish and should not be a thing.
B. Amanda says that she wants to get sunburn and Victor says that he does not like
sunburnt woman,
1. The same line about a woman not being sunburnt is said by Sibyl in the
beginning of the scene. This shows that Amanda is not the most feminine of women, especially
when compared to Sibyl.
III. Sibyls beliefs vs. Elyots
A. SIBYL: I hate these half-masculine women who go banging about.
ELYOT: I hate anybody who goes banging about.
1. This subtle difference goes a long way. First off, Sibyl is saying that she hates
women who are not dainty, but she also implies that men go banging around all the time without
bothering her. Elyot on the other hand, does not like when anyone bangs around, never mind just

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women. This subtle difference in opinion reflects the idea that men and women should be treated
equally.
B. SIBYL: I like a man to be a man
1. Sibyl says this when talking to Elyot, who tells her that he would be all the
man she wants him to be right before she says this. This belief and the fact that she is very
feminine combine to make her a character in support of stereotypical gender roles.
IV. Relationship between Elyot and Amanda
A. Physical Violence
1. In contemporary society, it is unacceptable for a man to strike a woman. It is
slightly better for a woman to strike a man, but it is still illegal. The fact that both Elyot and
Amanda abuse each other sets them as equals.
2. AMANDA: I've been brought up to believe that it's beyond the pale for a man
to strike a woman.
ELYOT: A very poor tradition. Certain women should be struck regularly, like
gongs.
a. Amanda claims that women should not be struck and that it is improper
to hit a woman. However, she is the first one to use violence in the second act of the play. This
shows that she thinks it fine to be used against men. Also, she hits Elyot with a Gramophone,
whereas Elyot just uses his hand. The Gramophone definitely hurts more than the bare hand, and
is a more violent way to beat someone.

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b. Elyots response to her is not intended to be that of an abusive partner. When
he says some women should be, he does not mean it in a misogynistic way, but rather more like a
way in saying that if someone deserves to be beaten they should be beaten

NOTES:
Youve found some good textual examples dealing with
masculinity and femininity, which definitely works in
support of your interest in gender roles. The most
interesting idea you have is that the coincidences in Act
One are designed to create equality; develop this further.
The tough part is the physical violence, which you need to
completely reframe. Are there ways in which Elyot is less
of a traditional man (a la Victor) and that also helps level
the playing field? You could also argue that the physical
violence breaks the equality, especially given the final
image were left with at the end of the play.
SM

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Chris Little
13 March 2015
Theatre History 2
Private Lives
TITLE
Traditional gender stereotypes are present in many works from the early part of the
century. The play Private Lives, by Noel Coward, contains characters that fit these stereotypes,
but only as secondary characters. The main characters, Elyot and Amanda, do not quite fit these
stereotypes. Through these characters behaviors and their relationships at the beginning of the
play, Coward rejects the idea of traditional gender stereotypes and shows that men and women
can in fact be equals.

Notes
Looking at gender roles in the play has potential, but you
need to be clearer about what youre saying. Are you
saying that they subvert traditional gender roles and
achieve equality? If so, you have to deal with some of the
darker aspects of the play, like the physical violence (think
of Elyots line: Women should be struck regularly, like

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gongs.) Also, this might be a thesis that would be better

suited to a paper in which you could cite gender theory
and queer theory.
SM