RANDOM

REMINISCENCES

BY

CHARLES

H.

E.

BROOKFIELD

LONDON

EDWARD

ARNOLD
1902

TO

B.
P.

PREFACE

endeavoured

HAVE

avoid

to

an

that

his

that

I have

thoughts

not,

either, committed

any

views.

old

of

in

sat

his

scarlet

side.

of

the

leg defiantly,

an

atheist,

The

old

man

measured

needst

and

looked
on

to

tones,
not

half

mak'

'

sic

don't

up

his

One

from

Well,

Tom-fool

252573

of

clad

room

on

his

work,

and

then

if

tha

thasel'

in

one

the

on

akimbo,

arms

who

he

as

himself

care

an

England

exclaimed,

o'

of

story

cocked

his

set

have

expressing

the

seated

John,

which

morning,

into

forehead,

of

North

and

aware

that

tell

hunting-cap

writing-table,

I'm

spectacles

the

actions,

not

am

trust

to

burst

man

young

his

swung

his

his

anything

ago.

son

with

coat

in

years

his

volume

used

is

autobiographer

impertinence

lived

study,

The

corner

the

hundred

reminiscences

himself,

importance

who

Quaker

about

this

grandfathers

my

the

taking

in

of

me

random

seriously.

too

included

to

appears

One

of

"

and

these
which

into

error

fall

to

prone

in

'

Father,

knows

it I'

pushed

his

replied
beest,
!'

in

tha

PREFACE

vi

Everything
belief,

absolutely

altered

is

novelty
Owing
for

to

hearing

stories

to

that

hope
not

would

yet

the

something
For

nine-tenths

remind

myself

some

may

of

honour

and

to

buy

my

1902.

told

sanguine
whom

that

find

may

have

my

as

have

ing
long-suffer-

here

and

there

them.

other

reasons

have

remember.

CHARLES

DORKING,

which

in

of

reminiscence.

book

have

lack

that

so

am

my

seem

repeatedly

numbering
they

and

what

have

but

entertain

personal
of

that

in

should

weakness

speak,

there

and

reader

the

of

best

stories

element

friends,

my

the

to

here

two

or

unfortunate

an

sodality,

one

essential

an

is,

though

If

book

true,

name.

familiar,

this

in

H.

E.

BROOKFIELD.

omitted

to

CONTENTS

CHAPTER

I
PAGE

School

Friends

1870

report,

Carlyle,

Westminster

1872

Tait

Archbishops

"

CHAPTER

leave

Paris

school

the

and

make

the

The

Club

Savile

village

editor

Club

Sir

of

Besant

"

Robert

Service

1-20

Louis

Examiner

"

promising

Kipling

Rudyard

"

man

young

Stevenson

Rabelais

The

"

"

"

Frederick

Pollock

and

Lord

Houghton

"

Venables

George

and

The

"

student

the

Senior

21-35

III

long-haired

and

"

Garden

Francis

CHAPTER

Cambridge

at

Thomson

The

Royal

Palais

acquaintance

"

and

father's

my

II

"

"

of

Thanksgiving

School
"

Paul's,

few

Tennyson,

"

"

"

St.

parents

my

Dickens

Thackeray,

stories

of

"

Achaeans"
Dean"

The
The

free-

'Bucks'

thinking
'Bank'

"

"

An

averted

misalliance

A
"

in

Trinity

the

My

"

Weston's
at

the

truncheon

University
walk

"

Cricket

of

use

"

My

by

'

annual

tion
Instruc"

My

"

Cambridge

riot
the

distinction

through

Fenner's

Cambridge

late

Master

uncle

Dick

Joseph

Mason's
"

"

'

average

of

10

36-64

CONTENTS

viii

IV

CHAPTER

PAGE

Holidays

In

"

the Ardennes

foreign venery
boar,
the

and

how

Freya

"

Buller

servant

Lionel

the

The

"

on

My

"

very

imagination Charley

of

Lord's

at

him

on

Camping

"

lordship'svalet

His

Hints

"

slay

to

Norway

"

power

and

Tennyson

how

him

"

The

"

incident

An

"

elude

to

Doverfjeld

obedient

fox, and

The

"

battue

wild-boar

"

"

strawberries

March

"

"

65-90

smuggler

CHAPTER

V
/

'

the

Adopting

calling

stage

then

Typhoid

The

"

"

elocution

"

who

to

was

"

rehearsal

colony
his wits

"

pantomime

market

Hay

Frank

"

"

VI

His

science

detail

As

take

of

Discomforts

"

CHAPTER

of

trysts" His

'

The

"

Marshall

Theatre
As

"

91-109

visit to

medical

America

London

'
"

by

"

reticence
as

bility
suscepti"

His

preciation
ap-

teacher

An

"

storm

of

aspirant

110-124

VII

imagination"

dipsomaniacs

His

"

to amateurs

social

His

His

experience

My

"

"

stage-manager

leading juvenile

His

The

"

advice

Expert

Jenner

CHAPTER

The

"

Touring

William

at

'

.....

discretion
His

"

'stage-name'

of salad

His

"

Sir

Bancrofts

maker

Odell

'

now

"

"

profession

and

fever

engagement

as

popularity
"

The

young

His

Thames

wiles"

Valley

"

who

man

lived

by
125-138

CONTENTS

ix

CHAPTER

VIII
PAGE

Vernon

Percy
de

Stone's

"

1'Europe

The

"

crown

hunters

The

"

and

teetotum,
their

and

tailors

sporting
how

methods

The

"

spin

to

The

"

Cafe*
Half-

it
"

market

Hay

flower-girlsPolly

CHAPTER

'

Summer
1

'

dead-head

*
"

full

House

Stage-door beggars

The

"

'

Bold

"

amenities

Bottle

Tree

Opera-House
'

and

Cecil

Alfred

unchronicled

An

"

One

"

Year

of

conflagrationat

Her

Bancroft

Cecil

"

Barrymore

West

"

and

American

play

"

Mr.

'

Judge
*

'

lines

sport

"

of
'
"

Lowenfeld

and

Justice in

Pennsylvania

Stage

burglars

business
The

Majesty's
A

scientious
con-

Arthur
-

171-188

XI

"

trial in

"

Beerbohm

equestrian

an

conjugal reproof

bigamy

the

Criminal

"

as

Keeley

stories"

Kemble

Harry

"

CHAPTER

Maurice

Mrs.

recollection

'

New

and

Wigan

two

or

extra-lady

the

157-170

earliest

My

"

tressed
dis-

Mrs.

it'

on

"

"

the

advertisement
"

CHAPTER

Bohemian

of

meanness

pious crossing-sweeper

"

foreigner

IX

Haymarket

at the

season

139-156

"

road

'

'
"

and

The
real
"

to

wealth
-

"

ones

An

Millionaires
-

Far

Burglar

Card-sharping

"

the

"

old
at

189-215

CONTENTS

XII

CHAPTER

PAGE

Music-halls
Vance
and

The

"

his

Cellier

tale of

The

"

Eric

"

"

An

Protection
"

Hospital
Firemen

and

Society

"

'

their

ways

political programme
eyes

Judge

The

"

Shipwrecks

sea

In

Carlo
memories
the
The

The

"

"

croupier
"

only

naivet^

"

sure

in

Funchal

to

way

French

"

fire

234-249

The

"

"

of

her

peevish
Wight

Irex

Madeira

Dutch

"

shuts

The

"

burial

"

"

courage

250-269

XV

of

those

disputed

doctor
out

Isle

tripto

"

enchantment

giant

her

case

the

CHAPTER

Monte

minster
West-

at

company

coastguard

fault

at

Hospitalityat

"

"

zealous

Hospital

Justice

"

"

Reciter

Complete
at

'get-out

Cross

make

to

by jury

jury disagree
"

216-233

XIV

'

adroit

An

"

"-

in theatres

Trial

"

dog-fancier

changed

CHAPTER

intrusion

How

"

Fires

"

as

Charing

"

who

lady

inventory

assurance

Lewis

unwarrantable

An

operation

French

XIII

CHAPTER

Customers'

Great

Samuel

cheque

The

"

Mr.

"

entertainingfriends

Alfred

"

artist's coachman

originalprestidigitator

An

"

variety

days

stake

win

"

"

the
"

The

Playing

French

confidence-man

place

Sunny

"

degringolade of
on

detectives

system

"

Their

"

'
-

270-287

CONTENTS

CHAPTER

XVI

PAGE

America

The

of

hospitality

extraordinary

the

natives

The

"

"

of

adventures

cageful

In

night

malefactors

of

gaol

novel

drive
"

breaks

health

My

down

"

and

it
"

'

how

to

Bordighera

Funeral

March

it

cure

The

by

one

Black

who

has

Forest

"

'

My
"

sumption,
Con"

Pleurisy
"

"

"

obituary

"

still

Chopin's

notices
-

got

288-305

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

CHAPTER

School

1870

report,

Friends

Archbishops

father

found

dominie's
of

way

in

or

of

odd

shown

"

years

me,

to

as

wished
the

may

peared
apmy

of

age
have

may
and

put

as

tion,
disposi-

forward
have

my

been,

introduction.

REVEREND

HEREFORD

SQUARE,

April

21,

S.W.,

1870.

SIR,

Charlie,

you,

at

character

my

'

he

him,

to

'33,

1872

letters

or

was,

as

allowed

be

estimate

an

Paul's,

old

of

as

thirty

may

St.

at

box

me

changes

some

perhaps

in

appeared

Although

wrought

minster
West-

"

Service

schoolmaster,

think

thirteen.

by

stories

father's

my

Carlyle,

Tennyson,

"

Thomson.

describing

my

to

and

ago

report,
to

old

Tait

days

school

of

Thanksgiving

"

FEW

few

parents

my

"

School

of

"

Dickens

Thackeray,

has

as

his

taken

mark-book

an

will

exceedingly

have

good

already
position
I

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

The

in his class this term.

I have

able

been

to

French

always been

him

to

decided
in

of

power

he

Greek
I

am

if he

always

in

pleasant it

the
hurt

have

his will

conduct
the

which

to

think

maintain

his

own

browbeaten

want

may

be

theirs,however

that he

in

his

self-assertion.
master

who

amiable

or

for

never

may

be

to
unwillingness

an

should

convictions,even
bullied.

interested

notice

can

for

his

panion.
agreeablecom-

of

arises from

that

so

clever,Charlie

most

which

that

he would

are

pupilor companion

or

been

fairlywithin

be

his

it is well

gress.
pro-

not

the marks

for
feelingsof others, still,

good, I
being

me

algebra

emulation

Polite,sensible,and
to

neatly

contrary, I think

he will feel that you

However

opposes

the

only flaw

to

speech

made

has

is

ness
quick-

In

and
steadily

prizes may

consists

boys

generaldrift of

littlemore

character

older

spelling. For

this result

on

seemed

The

English,there

to

I shall arrange

hope

result.

the

has

that

three

reach,and
in

sure

better.

term

next

worked

has
"

is unrivalled.

has

show

to

were

much

do

he

overwork

gained by

what

and
easily,
appropriately,

expressing himself
and

the

comprehending

the

and

As

very

difficultyhis

serious

in his

improvement

been

gettingover

most

the grammar.

ignoranceof
a

he is

his

has

in Latin

trace

gratifying.In

which

distinct progress

at

To

boy's own
be

able

to

the

risk

of

the

upright

LACK

should

has,

he

as

everyone,

to

Charlie

Yours

'

with

to

sir,

respectfully,

Although

mother

people,friends

to

the

just where

ought

Thackeray

"

fact that

of my

contact

father and

hardly be expected

to

take

of

rough

to

me

pipe.

tobacco

on

the whiff

see,

exterior
his

by

years

and

the
which

tion,
admira-

as

he

died

of

come

man

on

the

long straightclay

I have
from

used

old

an

Tennyson

fire-shovel,and
to

when

father

only recall

can

I could

"

primitivehabits,seated

visions

used

phrenological

Carlyle my

fireplace,
smoking

have

this

veneration.

partlycultivated

old.

but

of

boundless

remember,

to

be

may

slighthollow

bump

almost

an

interesting

This

I have

despite

and

partlyinherited

them.

the

have

to

have

only six

of

whom,

for

shortcoming,

floor

into

have, unfortunately,no

"

partlydue

was

brought

was

reminiscences

personal

Carlyle,Tennyson, Thackeray, Dickens,

"

others

and

child

as

celebrated

with many

HART.

BROOKFIELD.'

H.

W.

REV.

which

meet.

'G.
4

that

add

companions

is bound

up,

already

safeguard against

remain, reverend

him

see

best

bad

and

grows

'

the

is

evil influences

those

like

therefore

will which

resolute

which
feelings

tender

and
principles

VENERATION

OF

his

drying

his

forgotten

not

larder,where
i

"

RANDOM

the
I

had

meat

REMINISCENCES

till it matured

hang

to

reared, however,

was

from
these

anecdotes

hitherto

have

not,

used

first appearance
father

when

her

Elton,

who

my

young

poet

grandfather
marched

laid

warning,

his

with

seconds

forth

in

have

done

life,with

yours!'

after

and,

cranium,

rugged

this

grandfatherwas
Tennyson
be

invited

As

head,

library in

his

gentleman's
face

'

of

must

in

your

benevolence
not

used

I believe

and

rolled

You

things

elderlywere
young,

for

suddenly

accents

any

of
to

my

furious.

godfatherto

consented.

old

towards

the

into

foolish

the

the

bald

eminence

big bump

being patronized by

of

brows,

many

days

trenches

courtly

old

Lincolnshire

In those

the

the

upon

knitted

great

to

man

him, and, without

gazing

great

was

an

to

palm

my

sitting,the long-haired

was

up

whither

in

entering

on

Tennyson's

young

expanse

poll. Immediately

few

been

grandfather, Sir

My

York,

vast

fought

sloped gradually into

which

to

quite

had
of

with

gentleman

the

of

some

know,

me

Court,

family.

Duke

the

to

Clevedon

him

to

him

Charles

which

as

describe

to

at

brought

present

under

far

as

giants

published.
mother

My

knew

liking.

these

of

well, and

them

who

parents,

my

stories

on

his

to

Henry Hallam,
great-uncle,

my

his first

they

were

boy,

to

which

walking

up

he
the

readily
church-

TENNYSON

What

'

the

by side,

side

yard

do

name

historian

Hallam,' said the poet.

call him

better

not

you

'

father

My
and

should

if he

what

but

dining

was

Club

Cambridge

After

the poet

dinner

the
There

put down

Do

should
able

I ?' retorted
I

as

another.
'

am.'
'

Alfred/ said

My
and

father

Down
and

it occurred

certain

local

father,

my

Longfellow/

to

the

went

friend

them

think

this

sylvan

they'd be

sir/ said

the

able

to

the

of

reply,merely put

and

consulted

you,' said

at

poet placidly.

you're

the

as

the
was

Harewood,
like

they would

tell you

landlord.

to

yard

laureate

Why

'

comfort

very

at

once

celebrityknown

was

feet.

were

that

on

in vain.

will think

people

'

They accordinglyinquired at
where

I'm

stare/ replied the

'em

Let

feet

host.

Everyone's staring

'

Frank

he

uncouthness, but

'

gested
sug-

others.

and

room,

Tennyson.

Oh,

Americano.

more

feet !'pleaded his

your

'

Oxford

putting his

on

the

in
his

for

the

three

or

chair

his

strangers

were

expostulatedwith
*

insisted

We

naive

George Venables,
two

'

fool ?'

night at

one

and

table, tiltingback

out

turn

with

Lushington, Tennyson,

modestly

replied the

'

bard,

?'

Alfred

great-uncle. Aye

my

?'

him

give

to

mean

you

thought of callinghim
had

inquired of Tennyson,

round

Poet.

Arms,

found.

be

the

at

see

Airedale

Harewood
to

to

'

stables,

Accordingly they repaired

a

stable-boy,who, by

his hollowed

hands

to

way

his mouth

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

and

shouted,

familiar

the

was

worship, Carlyle,with
father,

It

'

about

reminds

much

of

At

1856,

where

extravagant
remarked

humour,

one

came
be-

ale.

of

pot

caustic

answer

individual, who

of

object

In

went.

poet

somewhere

Grange

Tennyson

my

the

willingrecipientof

The

at

the

which, it appeared, was

slovenly,unkempt

the

party

!'

which

by

name

appeared

Slush

'

friend

old

your

to

Slush/
One
in

bitter

with

room

took

From

the

been
a

side

beggar

in the

'

wet.

said

Carlyle,

from

its

four

pence.

/
as

Speaking
he

say

to

was

ever

the

house

climbed

gave

of

pity I

the

the
extant

most

on

for

slit
had

the door

hungry, dripping
table,'

kitchen

the

all that

had

writer

and

down

him

to

came

the

on

in all my

never

the

worn,

he

Somehow

there

but

mouth,

in.

child

was

day,

earthenware

an

without

reached

and

shelf,and

like heaven

mortal

'

of the

he

him

drawing-

Carlyle,and

Mrs.

when

given

pale,weary,

man,

with

had

slip pennies

to

the

and

pitiless
inclemency

of bottle

sort

left alone

said

hall

relate how,

to

parents

thrift -pot,'
a

in

the

occasion

of four, his
'

Grange, Carlyle sat

The

only Lady Ashburton,

father.

he

at

the

between

anteroom

an

my

wintry day

"

thrift-pot

"

in it

was

"

some

lifefelt anything

so

that man'

of Ei/cow

Carlyle
j3a"riXiicr/,

portentously self-righteous
this

planet,who

Almighty, in place of asking

seemed

for His

to

grace

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

and

aliments

up

confusion

Early
lived
St.

in

nameless

and

the

devil

the

father

unexpectedly brought Thackeray

home

and

him

introduced

overwhelmed

nothing
It

so, to
a

in the

'

house

late

but

'

to

the

table, she

neighbouring pastrycook'sfor
kinds.

various

inquired in

she
you,

Which

'

due

given

the

mother
small

of life in

best

cheer

there

to

no

sympathy

strong

even

memory

my

her

'

maid

to

tartlets
I

give

Thackeray.
he,

mutton.

elaborate,

more

may

was

'

I'll have

of
?'

you

Thank
penny
two-

Dickens'

both

of

Brookfield/ said

Mrs.
one

was

course

there

dozen

these

of

rather

was

of

sent

he

for dinner,

that

anything

at

evening

shoulder

cold

mother
curate

She

knowledge

contrive

to

air

give an

mother.

my

the

by

too

was

to

away

delirium

and

(he was

Street

One

at

enters

sky, and

time).

James's

nance
suste-

distraction.'

lodgingsin Jermyn
Church

their

abysses of

life,my

in their married

other

or

for

the

bottomless

they go, plunginginto

and

suddenly
tails into

their

go

pignuts

themselves

comfort, when

them,

what

of

present

may

and
into

search

in

grunting

him

gave

for trifles.

When

living of Somerby,
and

he rather

country
my

old

friends

of

Somerby

mother

the

living anywhere
?' he

Grantham,
the monotony

village. Dickens
on

inquired.

father

my

near

dreaded

ordinary
extra-

an

did

subject.
in the
'

'

his
Are

bourhood
neigh-

Surely

there

DICKENS

must

be

so?'

'No,' replied my

somebody

singlesoul.
of

husband's/

my

Mr.

Maddison,
intimate

an

fancy the

friend.

slightly.' Ah,
his

Maddison

whole

lot

more

there

was.

dreamed

important

factor

mother
four

did

till one

face

immediately

and

he

reached

her

undertone,

'

and

Although
my

earliest

when

study

his

home

from

I
to

and

felt
say

life that

it

was

I got

of

fond

little in

school

to

until
know

or

she

party

His

room.

expression,
until he
an

eager

?'

completely
not

my

three

crush

the

upstairs to

tear

more

humorous

Maddison

stood

came

of the

end

the

that

for

crowded

always

was

very

Well,' he inquired,in

how's

ever

you

happened

through

days, I

door

whom
sorry

'

discover

heartilyby

again

at

with

lit up

side.

her

so

other

his way

picked

than

Dickens

the

at

eye

find

Yes, I'm glad you've

It

evening

not

very

You'll

will become

wringing

meet

exclaimed

right!'
You'll

life.

way.

only

him

brightening.

Maddison

his
not

his

caught

all

'

is

he

But

knows

Maddison

in

And,

went

years,

face

in your

got Maddison.'

hand, he

recollected.

is.

that's

or

acquaintance

one

delightfulresource.

there's

is

name

William
but

'

Dickens,

there

suddenly

she

miles

ten

mournfully, 'not

mother

! I think

Oh

within

know

you

him

awe

used
my

at

the

my

my

father
of
to

from

him, and
his

pass

with

mother,
ease.

last three

I
years

am

of

reallyintimately.

10

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

One
in

when

evening

lumber-room,

father

regarded
should

hide

tobacco.

that

my

astounded,'

am

whom

you,

in this

yourselfaway

But

when

always

straightforward,right-minded lad,

clandestine

the

me.

hiding

was

surreptitiously
smoking,

gravely,

as

fifteen,I

about

was

discovered

suddenly

exclaimed

he

in

since

weed

this

contracted

have

you

abominable

that

of

use

indulge

to

manner

odious,

paltry,cowardly, indecorous, unsanitary,pestilential

habit, and

it's

I suppose

yourself of it, why

with

in

me

with

smoked

that

the

him

every

night. Many

candidate

for

Mansfield

Why,

used
has

the

at

me

that

Horace

?'

I hear
be

to

the

'

to

You

to call

There

field,a
a

habit

pencil

was

upon
a

the

when
case

'

of

stories

are

put

forward

Chancellorship,
clergyman
'

London

(he

clergy to

vote

who

for

only partially correct,'

'

His

lordship did

me

the

me.J
of my
He

had

father, a
a

glass

Mr.
eye,

Haverand

speaking meditativelyof taking out

and

few

Canterbury Pilgrim')

all the

to
are

friend

clergyman.

was

London

Bishop

replied the clergyman.

honour

and

sat

of his

Here

Cambridge

as

circulars

Prince.'

Albert

Prince

that the

written

clergy.

haphazard.

said

known

Thenceforth

the

sociably

smoke

study

time

At

'

to

occur

and

come

break

try and

to

my

about
naturally,

were,

as

not

late

too

tapping

the

artificial organ

had
his
with

audible
field

and

was

he
his

his hands

proposed

the

in

it

good

let/

seats

higher

besides

'

ing,
folk talk-

the

then, suddenly checking himself,

said

he

chapel,set

notice, make

into

certain

Street, and, rubbing

the

to

Haver-

ments
arrange-

glee at anticipatedsuccess,

it will do

bring

Mr.
father

my

make

to

in York

chapel

with

1 think

day describing to

one

of

This

effect.
startling

most

alterations

11

OVERSTONE

LORD

motives'

told

He
Rev.
a

M.

me

minutes'

duration.
But

replied:

'

preached

till

little of the

preaching
which

To

East

replied,with

he
'

Paul

St.

Preston,

Riding dialect,

forty

youthfulorator

the

midnight.' 'Ay,'

order

of

sermon

Mr.

know,

you

callingto

fell down

folk

but

!'

whom

curate

diamond
wear

ring

mind

intent

the

'At

Lord
said

no

Frederick

the

Houghton

was

On

Miss

of

all

we

called

in
had

through
"

walking

the

himself
such

one

'

to

day,
If

we

his
say

ourselves,' etc.

Lyttelton

Lucy

defile

to
a

eye."
"

me.

into

low,

very

to

officiated/

which

needle's

behind

valuable

allowed

deceive

Cavendish,

Chamber

door

only

jewel, he began

ring,we

father,

my

he

had

knew

days.

marriage

Jerusalem
arched

which

upon

have

we

father

my

Communion

on

that

rather

was

for

clergyman

young

dead

He

Preston.

the
great-grandfather,

of my

story

Lord

the

little,
Lord
Over-

12

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

will

stone

tall

being

come

in

laugh.

with

contact

I said

the

to

Lord

some

walk
old

hats ?'

covered

heap,

should

was
'

Four

into

and

will

deposit

than
'

Half

'

allow
is

my

the
old

you

My

and
can

Lord

father
half

who

then

And

used

your
was

get

the

dust-

Overstone,

ask

his

own

someone.

how

go

much
and

immediately
new.'

'

sagely to observe,
for

"

Four

one.

the

assume

millions, but
on

gave

Overstone.

old

the

and

one

One

to

way

your

to

showing

"

hat, and

for

with

them

Lord

'

answer.

count

curate,

their

hat

hall said

crown,' suggested

for

me

account,' my

for three

that

do

left

said

sixpence,'said

sixpence

will

say

once

various.

find

now/

hatter's,select

they

you

?'

worth

Well,

'

was

me,

men

young

another

and

Lord

mustering

were

you

servant,

dust

etc.

what

who
do

I got

said

in the

house, and

Well, replieswere

with

for which

told

father

men

what

his

to

brought

legacy."

my

country

some

Now,

whip through

Somebody,"

"

left you

"has

young

them

'

laugh.

Overstone,

staying in

caused

minute

another

violentlyagainst the arch,

Houghton,

to

when

But

shall

in effect

did

which

masonry,
see

And,

miscalculatingthe height,I bumped

pity, only

no

the

You'll

"

test,

head

my

multi-millionaire

the

man,

easilyenough."
me

exclaimed.

get through !" he

never

This
*

not

millions

more

fingers.'
well

off,'said

my

father,

BISHOP

driving me

'

was

from
was

met

to

at

Grantham.

of

Calvinist

Grantham.

of

them

"

have

to

shall

you

their

Tchk

Sabbath.

work

! khchk

going

well-fed, handsome

beast

and

"

meeting

to

with

is
at

orthodox

injunction

horse

upon

so

the

his

gave

stimulatingflick

the

to

way

Divine

your

!"

We

there," said he,

"Now,

forgottenthe

not

He

Dissenters.
on

fellows

cart
dog-

Humby.

They appear," he added,

bitterness,

in his

morning

hated

and

spring-cartfull

13

chapel at

my

Conservative,

parcel

that

Sunday

one

Somerby

Ebenezer
a

BLOMFIELD

own

in the

flank !'
Blomfield

Bishop
he

Bishop

was

of

whom

such

when

he

said the
On
1

was

thing had

Bishop.

'

Blank

this Mr.

the

life !
to

I trust

the

keep
this

same

effect.

countenance,
should

occur

on

duty

that

I shall

to

never

The

extenuation,

duty,
is

Mr.
on

by

new

Well,
and

ever

Blank!'

always
a

duty f
idea.
that is

now,

the

most

with

met

forget that

'
"

answerable
un-

in

with

my

more

Bishop, scarcely able

dismissed

again,

Blank,

rarely happened

very

'On

sentiment

argument

occasion

in

illumined

seemed

beautiful

most

only

clergyman

clergyman always

had

urged,

duty.'

'on

when

once,

will call Mr.

we

Blank

tipsiness. Mr.

that

he

that

good-tempered, dissolute,

impracticableparson,
for

father

my

Chester,

him

before

summon

told

him, saying,
I

shall

have

at

'

If
once

to

ever

to

14

RANDOM

with

communicate
Exit

REMINISCENCES

Mr.

in

you

Blank,

which

on

But

in the

midst

is heard

the

door.

Mr.

again

like

Lord,

if

Exit

of

his

tap

head

then,

in
my

again you'll drop

occur

murmuring,

his

Well,

'

should

out

explosion a

pops

says

burst

'

clergyman always

duty/

on

father told

My

of

term

of

1829,

for the

when

he

me

last time

the
or

"

by

Two

profane trick
such

some

-Book.

Prayer

followed

or

Then

interjectionalrhetoric,

watchful.

another

tillthe

Whewell

looked

explosion, and

which

all subsided.

Repton

himself, who

Bellew

burst

was

the

out

had

to

read

caught

titter

cold.

grave
and

"

disciplineand

lion.

Another

loud

included,
of

St.

at

preacher,and

with

of all

father

my

the

in

the

another

"

roar

clamation.
ex-

officials looked

sneeze

into

Sunday evening

Canon

which

at

baffled

loud

roaring sneeze,

everybody, Whewell

and

old

the

chapel was

overcome

One

and

Another

like

came

undergraduates

second

the

on

"

three

more

and

thing

highly-indecorous

general

practised

some

tittered.

more

October

was

First

secret

became

in the

"

"

putting capsicum

sneeze,

present

was

Sunday evening chapel at Trinity

at

Vice-Master's

of

Bishop

Blank

and

Pry,

anything

line/

me

Paul

painful way.'

more

the

laughing.
at

was

was

laughter,after

engaged by

Philip'sin place

The

arrived

Rev.
as

J. M.
my

C.

father

16

RANDOM

herents
up

to

incomparable liturgy." I

own

our

hand

my

REMINISCENCES

hide

to

the

leaning against

smile, and

found

Sir

Thomas

of

monument

put
was

More.'
I
Dr.

was

sent

to

Westminster

was

the

Headmaster

Scott
He

too.

was,

old

traditions

eaten

than

The
wear

his

Scholars

oldest

the

sleeves.

and
'bullies,'
smaller

certain

he

mothbe.

to

prosperous

number

barbarous

over

whole

of

with

these, and

in

long pointed

they

bound

was

the

of

the
in

had

punishment,
it consisted
back

the
school),

of his
senior

of

end
be

to

inflicted

in

of
to

of
'

the

the

the

big

strike
the

it

week
'

handed

(a

generallyfor

swishing

fist in
who

Scholar

which

top

honour

the

at

boys

the knuckles

drawer

near

into
called

were

Queen's

the

stood

in

usually stitched

Whenever

table

still

probably

collegiate gown

was

'bully.' When

unpunctuality;

the

each

and

"

cloth

bullet

lay, which

his

rather

of the

out

employed punitivelyacross

oak

schoolroom,

small

wore

black

boys.

the

birches

with

one,

was

less

was

fashioned

of

extremity of

passed

good

interestingone

more

it

1871.

respecter

turned

was

in

educationallyefficacious.

existence, made

of

has

school

school

the

successor

Queen's
"

the

which

with

day, though probably

less

and

and

"

fancy, a greater

Accordingly, the
in his

School

the

factor
male-

presence

brought

the

of
rods

WESTMINSTER

to

the

Headmaster

touching them,
the

but

white

glass bottle

contained

in

became

boy
'

told

off

from

whom

that

who

his

first

show

to

Westminster

in the

way

in

I think

last beat

Eton

on

she

than

held

more

day,

my

colours

of both

colour
that

eights
and

the

to

which

Westminster

and
a

race

decide
should
won.

in

did

1845

be

to

which

rank

to

true,

am

high

legend

that

were

should

I think

up

But

was

rowed

change

'

sent

that, however,

Westminster
was

of

that Westminster

There

own.

fight

achievement

an

was

boy

new

not

Before

believe

Eton
that

time

do

to

another

with

of.

was

shadow/

what

every

made

river.

her

'

and

was

my

was

form
a

weight,

Rowing

it

which

pink, and
rival

he

of sports.

of the past;

in

and

stance
sub-

naturally into

matched

was

what

afraid

Also,

drift

size

like

pen

Every

own

by watching

when.

to

term

same

'

Green

learn

chance

his

in

soon

waste.

allotted

was

follow

to

was

and

go

boy

was

fillingone's

at

school

say,

should

to

the

about

to

he

he

didn't

during

is

whom

where

the

joining

on

ink

One

piece of

apparently dry, gray

an

and

cotton-wool.

of

piece

own

ordinary

the

cork, and

no

in

his

small

was

extraordinarilyadept

from
new

with

It

fingers by

carried

Every boy

dip.'

'

his

deftlyswathed

them

carried

folds of his sleeve.

17

sullied

never

ink-bottle,called

ETON

AND

the

ally
origin-

between

the

retain

that

light blue, and

there

can

be

no

18

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

question
the

that

Eton

the gainer by
aesthetically

was

change.
father

My

Strand,

and

remember,

of

alongside
off

bellies ?

these

pockets
'orses

yer

Why,
classes

workin'

and

do !
While

this

juncture a huge

without

and

moving

'elmets

and

looking at

even

him

by
at

out

the

length without

Then,

after

soldier

extended

this

the

his

little fellow
better

practicalthough
it

was

upon

than

bridle,

clutched

him

straight

effort,the

like

worm.

yards,

gutter.
the

!'

without

"

"

held

are

land

his

face

twenty

the

tin

yer

children

white-gloved

into

Who

down-trodden

apparent

about

pleased
mute

and

little orator

writhing

great

fat of the

his

and

'eads

yer

dropped
of

any

and

proceeding

crowd

I think

foaming

twisting

demagogue

saw

trooper

You

'

man

and

the

on

middle, somewhere,

arm's

dropped

the

the

wives

muscle

eatin'

'

yer

sta-a-a-a-rvin',you're livin'
At

soldiers.

workin'

our

dodge

to

get into the road

and

the

the

along,

came

contrived

exclaimed,
of

typhoid

along

way

magnificent

the

from

Guards

policeman

!' he

for

pays

rogues
of

out

of

arm

Life

Radical

diminutive

the

wuthless

of

our

to

thanksgiving

of Wales

made

1872,

27,

of

service

we

as

detachment

very

under

the

to

of the Prince

recovery

fever.

February

on

me,

Cathedral

St. Paul's
for the

took

and

hand
I

the

never

onlookers

at

rejoinder.
street

banner

that the

well-

known

couplet appeared, in

Highness's recovery
*

But

the

labour

"

Praise

God,

Praise

Drs.

instance
is the

reminds

me

of

at

availed

himself

the

upon

faith which

most

remarkable
the

preacher,
undertook

burning
and

day

desert

pillar

judiciouslaw-giveralso

of the services

of his brother-in-law

intimately
acquaintedwith

was

of

the

route

the desert.'

across

I crossed
fourteen

Calais

from

Archbishops

of

and
gaiters,
so

left the

French

the window

lowered

from

the

very

and

few

port there
of my

of
from

York

had

of

minutes

came

ing
cross-

after

we

premonitory

deck

cabin

curly,bedecked

discreetlybowed

beneath

were

aprons,

rough

very

the

Protestant

They

mother's
the

about

was

we

both the

had

We

outside, and

Archbishop

apartment,

mother, and

archiepiscopalpanoply

that

tap, and

Thomson.

and

rosettes.

rough

my

when

Dover

with
travelling

Tait

"

in all the

brave

to

old with

years

unique honour

the

the

during

But

division

Moses
the

across

cloud

night.

Hobab, who

of

The

'

in which

Israelites

of fire

had

sermon

!'

Lowe

implying a

"

father.

trustingmanner

guided only by

"

and

said
faith,'
historyof implicit

the

Royal

His

to

blessingsflow

all

Gull

Jenner,

of thanks

lead

to

whom

from

division

in

reference

always pleased my

19

ARCHBISHOPS

TWO

its generous
2

"

was

hat
into
brim

brother

My

the

and

of

boats

the

It

and

against

which

against

the
the

hatchway.
picked

trooped
of

Archbishop
the

top-hat,

and

novels.

The

latter,

not

error

carried

in

his

invalid

chalk-mark.

full

of

nihil

blameless

me

saluted

they waylaid
the

expose

before
obstat

the

past

piously

and

it their

in

the

of

me

bundle

protege,

upon

two

schoolboy

did, and

ecclesiastic, while

hat -box

cially
espe-

illicit Tauchnitz

supreme

my

and

had

me.

as

Dover

at

sickness)was

officials, who

of

was

and

bandaged,

containing

made

head

(recovered from,

sea-

he

rail,

my

gangway

contraband

house

interior
inscribe

what

the

on

prelate relieved

amiable

neared

Everybody

assisting

handbag

knowing

England's

of

hat-box,

the

up

penance

"

on

small

brass

fell

and

up

Canterbury

good-natured
impediments

side

we

the

brass-bound
was

as

over

leaning,and

passengers

lurch

sudden

was

by,

his

by

old-fashioned

the

of

thrown

was

Customs

stand

to

me

gave

kind.

fortified

again.

perhaps.

Dover,

already succumbed/

up

one

was

Foam,

vessel

The

most

allowed

captain

"

has

drawn

was

bridge.

by charity,proclaimed,

Canterbury

window

The
the

pride, modulated

of

voice

'

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

20

in

they
the

cent
innowould

form

of

CHAPTER

leave

school

Paris

and

II

Palais

the

make

the

Savile

Club

acquaintance
Besant

Louis

Pollock

and

Stevenson"
Lord

Houghton

"

Kipling

The
editor

village

"

Club"

Sir

Venables

George

man"

young

Rabelais

The

Examiner
"

promising

Rudyard

"

"

Robert

of

The

Royal"

"

"

Frederick

and

Francis

Garden.

IN

1873

succeeded
delicate

too

was

left

for

lectures

few

to

or

other,

was

comedians
"

over

one

was

sorry

their
of

the

also

an

unrivalled

Geoffroy,

L'Heritier,

see,

injured
to

see.

mazagmns

cheap

is
in

used

at

restaurants

Royal,

Gil

accident

an

Perez,

lad

the

called

little

watch

to

Cent
in

went

how
some-

seventy-something

now

My
where
of

company

comparative

my

Paris.

to

Palais

certainly

and

and

contrived,

frequently
the

ingly
accord-

attended

London,

was

who,

severely

was

that

followed
I

years.

College,

there

Brasseur,

souche,

of

over

go

theatre

favourite
there

to

practically

couple

theatres

many

family

my

school.

at

and

King's

at

good

persuading

remain

to

Westminster,

devices

own

in

while

these
Mille

the

old

Colonnes

Place

du

cinth,
HyaLas-

he

back,
men

or

Palais

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

22

Royal.

At

of

the

rise

five

about

theatre,and, with
than
each

they
an

and

would

this

who

Aberdeen

black

eyelids,

the

to

on

keep

in

one

fall

laughtertillthe

of

became

work

of

of

age

dramatic

the

auspices of
the

have

Edmund

Walter

Justin McCarthy,

young
a

singular young

of attention

Gordon.

He

extremely

for

was

clever.

Service

he

He
wrote

sequently
I sub-

with

honour,

the

month

every

others.
who
"

two-andhad
not

only

J. Duffield,
I

twenty.
well

met

once

certain

passed

Lang,

attracted
a

when

Andrew

Pollock, A.

at

Examiner

hospitableMinto,

short; time

about

is

presently

was

evening

man,

of

years

writer.'

staff of

and

to

notices, This

pleasure of meeting

Gosse,

novels

me

critic,but

one

Examiner,

'

my

young

The

the

the

the

at

seventeen

retired,covered

eighteen.

writing.

Professor

give

to

very

foregather on

to

to

started

of

editor

kindly

superannuated, and

there

generallyto begin

became

under

Being myself barely

I used

used

that

period

very

evidentlythe

Civil

their

to

of vermilion

stage and

the

afterwards

used

review.

deal

off

in their appearance

daub

of

University,was

he

used

by

to

on

at

was

Minto,

the

alteration

the

before

curtain.

It

age,

toddle

painful convulsion

almost

and

would

touch

come

minutes

more

no

achieved

was

cheek

of the

they

curtain

ten

or

good

Hector
He
for

was

the

for the Examiner,

24

RANDOM

broadcast.

As

landlord.

had

We

at

the

night at
One

in his

him.

'

man

Believe

present

the

second

week.

bill

monsieur
there

had
was

well, then/

bill

Saturday

I'llleave

and
where

they

me

with

'

this

infernal
to

sorry,

Well, young

the

the

for

day,

one

the
to

his

the

when

purse,
'

caisse, and

'Bring

me

Saturday,

hotel, and

behave.7

smile, where

before

already the

seats

without

next

but

salon,

hotel

the

is

it

"

much,'

of

This

go
'

it is

man,' said
'

sunny

rule

As

retiringwith

manager,

his

down

Gordon.
very

our

him

I found

trembling

are

from

said

how

know

'Very
hotel.'

"

your

the

sir/ said

and

downstairs

'Very
on

up

friend

"

saddle-horses, and

advance

finish

my

regret very

there

come

an

Paris

week.

And

in

it is the

once

the

theatre, and

"

but

'

for

manager

sir

me,

saying,

was

the

fury, and

We

Tortoni's.

called

week

second

our

caught

Voisin's, dine

at

theatre, and
or

hotel

in Paris.

weeks

dressing-gown pacing
with

pale

when

morning

about

was

to

Americain

Caf"

clerks,

their heads.

Bois, breakfast

Doree, go

Maison

hall, everyone

in the

visitors

pleasantfew

in the

corridor,

waiters, boots, page,

inclined
slightly

very

ride

to

the

the

crossed

or

other

Even

infection, and

used

together along

chambermaids,

bowed"

the

walked

we

downstairs,

came

or

REMINISCENCES

the

shall

we

"

please,

rueful
rule

Hector,

mind

somewhere
you

my

of

pression.
ex-

the

turning to

ride

to-day ?'

INTERROGATORY

AN

'

Were

having

you

'Oh

bill.

I'm

The
so

But

them

fellow
don't

through

went

three

chambermaids

fellow

in

to

blue

his toes,

the

Mr.

you,
who
his

hand,

'

!'

never

'

such

monsieur,'

?'

'

countenance.

non

relapsed into
the
my

if

boxes

very

it

the

of

suspect

girls.
of

me

of

them

are

francs.

Queen

the

studs

worth
'

But

I don't
than

more

they

Isabella,and

were

I have

room

Mais

present

woful

he

search

infamy.'

It's

making

them

'

It's

the actual

not

the

suppose
four

moi,

And

was

Let

this
'

!'
I

'

terday
yes-

voleur, moi

un

was

never,

"

the

homme

unfortunate,' said Gordon.

value

suis pas

'And

one

they

the

with

honnete

un

tears.

bed,' said

before

in

here

been

Gordon.

ne

assure

friend,

my

have

man-servant

je

'

stud-case

empty
I

and

weeping,

to

it dusted

asked

Mais

suis

Je

an

his chest

despair.

years

was

the

said

also

thing happened

who

Then,

from

saying

bed,

I found

honest-looking

an

reached

of

empty,

was

There

was

seven

morning

Ah

he
in

all the

has

never

tears

depths

sittingup

was

bedroom.

huge plumeau,

Gorrdonne,'

his

really leave

salon

The

which

the

in

shall

in.

in

about

cheeky

here.'

the

to

apron

with

manager

that

know

I looked

day

next

rather

was

lessly.
need-

speak of,' replied my

to

comfortable

very

asked, rather

?' I

row

nothing

no,

'The

friend.

25

three

of

five thousand

or

to

associations

me

from
with

old

them.

26

RANDOM

Well,

you

agent

de

can

filed

I couldn't

have

why

in

Tyndal, shirtmaker,
the

However,

bill

of his stay

days

than

more

behind

the

when

and

it

value

must

fresh

for his

remaining
amounted

box

or

ten

far

to

two

called

telegram suddenly

London.'

have

the

of

of

address

Mirabeau,
the

presented during

not

was

been

give

to

the

at

have

Road,

appeared

credit

with

and

name

of

Gordon

should

Brompton

incident

friend's

my

the

bearing

case

Isabella

Queen

they

dressing

was

Hector

presented

studs, and

to
fillip

friend

my

the

melancholy

the

help wondering why

diamond

'

And

While

when

know

me

arrives.'
out.

should

given

Let

now.

go

suretd

quartette

Spain

REMINISCENCES

he

left

him

to

Turin.
The

I heard

next

friend

young
there

was

was

chased

being

hue

by

and
the

capital,from

to

caught him,
Time

went

thought

to

the

as

and
I

eleven,
the

as

audience

caught sight of

and

as

we

later.

cry

after

him, and

that

all nations

from

five

got

him.

walking
pouring
He

was

capital
they

rarelygave

and

his

evening, soon

one

up

was

servitude.

Gordon

Hector
when

career,

were

and

that

he

ast

at

years'penal

is its wont,

was

And

post.

ill-starred

singularlycurtailed
after

years

policeof

he

I learnt

few

pillarto

and
on,

hospitablebut misguided

of my

the

out

of

Hay market,
the

theatre,

dressed,
faultlessly

mutually recognised one

another

he

THE

his

dropped

him

pursued
are

of

of

five years

Their

I believe

the

Savile

there

I know

the

at

back

of

served

its time

as

1875

from

the

it had

been

the

arterial

that

the

that

time

when

The
and
head.

club

they

used

used

by

the

the

Row.
club.

doctors'

light,had

things,and got

many

more.

were

to

their

in

the

spare

little desultory
were

pected
obstinatelysus-

in

smuggled
to

with
a

at

some

themselves.

great

believe
all

that

sealing-wax

Duffield,

travelled

among

surreptitioussubject

club

old

of

to display
hall-porter

some

have

must

com'

smoking-room

we

the

by

of

many

We

Savile

fill in

tea

writingroom,

jesterwas

had

honour

its top

to

or

entertainingcompanion
He

the

dissecting-room,and

had

t^ie

in

the

house, with

system

doctors

me

then

autopticalinvestigation. If
missing

your

tnat

originallya

luncheon

after

done

You've

was

physiologicalmembers
moments

said, 'it's awfully

paid

members
the

some

superstitionprevalent

non-scientific

awfullygood

mine.'

was

was

How

'

replied, with

me.

Club

house

street.

back.

It's

in about

Savile

the

to

done

been

election.

the

speak

to

have

of

the

on

contrary/

I haven't

must

mittee

the

you

him

me,' he

to

the

down

?' I exclaimed.

'On

emotion.

It

slapped

speak

to

you

good

and

Hector

you,

hurried

and

eyes

27

CLUB

SAVILE

he

most

Michael

convivial

Angelo

deal, and
had

seen

sincerelysorry

when

seen

great
he

28

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

Walter

died.
us

once

He

week.

used

Besant

me

to

write

kindness

he

showed

and

have

been

extraordinary in

who

was

those

help

to

told him
a

laid

sit in

to

eleven
in sheer

not

there.

stop

stories

in

handwriting,

He

read

that

for

typewriters
and

"

out

of

then

have
told

his

stories

from

write,

to

and

me,

did

dozen

of

those

in

not

were

the

it

say, in actual

to

me

make

goodness

half

advised

paper

morning

he

is

ready

your

through
"

all

Lay

every

as

of

how

pens

facility.But

manuscript

available

days

I did

faintest idea

find you

soon

desperation.'
fatal

and

time

review

'plenty

"

these

of

You'll

acquired a

soon

my

ink

front

till one.

Besant

Besant,
find

were

story.

would

strangers.

write

the

in

great

took
But

even

upon

not

he

always

and
go

into

blotting-paperand

rule

to

said

writing materials/
and

could

the

say,

else.

anyone

I had

launch

to

pains

sit down

that

and

is

the

man,

lines

the

but

down,

that

sought him,

I could

where

sit down

to

who

that

novel

busy

very

with

extraordinarilykind

was

encouraging

lunch

generallyto

placing

to

as

them.
I

remember
'

Animal

which

"

friend, Mr.

country,
for

it

as

was

Watt

of

number

one

local
that

so

of
'

'

syndicated by

that

is

papers

I received

should

*
"

have

to

in

say,

different

about
been

it

Superior

Besant's

able
in

appeared
of

parts

four times

paid by

any

as

the

much

solitary

editor.

correctinga proof of

was

of the

solitude

card-room

yard Kipling
spoke

asked

after

whipped

having

of

packed

letter

try and

to

that

inconvenience

fillin

to

story should

shouldn't

Watt

for
to

write

and
as

have

it

use

paid

with

work

speak,
virgin
rowed
har-

and

the

master.

sheet

corrected

the

and

to

hoed

it

they

most

rubble

puzzles

been

put

that

that
was,

were

what
in

do

to

was

great

they certainly

the

not

to

if I

the space

moment

they

I had

editor

better

extremely

were

that

complain.

nuggets.

had

occupied ;

and

tell the

nothing

the last

at

and

now,

worthless

Kipling

I received

Chinese

decipher

gravely mistaken

to

to

saying,

editor, saying that

compositors had

than

Mr.

so

top-dressed by

the

from

his

had

And,

and

unexpected.

was

imagined

my

tion.
transposi-

then.

result

abusive

be ?' he

would

the whole

minutes

despatched

and

up

and

The

and

Don't

'

plough, so

furrowed

gestions
sug-

telling.

set

the

to

few

was

manured

and

there

in

proof

and

He

it.

many

and

it ?'

Rud-

at

had

that

excision

pencil

put his hand

once

expanse

out

the

to

if I alter

persevered,and

he

regard
stronger

mind

look

to

tale,but

suggesting an

D'you

'

he

much

how

see

asked

the

with

make

to

you

in and

came

this effort in the

afternoon, when

one

kindly of

most

29

KIPLING

RUDYARD

sorry

they

writing

to

Christianity
he

was

carding
dis-

reality,
sparkling

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

30

'

Superior Animal

Times

Mirror.

and

Country

and

commonplace,
annoyed

the

that

termination

had

name

received
didn't

he
he

curt

know

he

that

and

didn't

the

This

end

though

both

my
I

the

only

Watt

Mr.

was

story
back

wrote

individual
;

it

because
and

said

the
the

am

more

right

to

has

to

villagegrocer
that the

aware

first time

the

Savile

astounding.

His

hair

no

custom

correspondence.

at

middle

the

has

cases.'

remember

wore

over

sanction.

my

the

to

one.'

than

story

closed

Stevenson

he

that

about

came

appearing

transaction

an

have

it

sub-editor, saying that

the

was

the

put

sugar,

prevailsin

the

an
accordingly,

wrote,

without

village editor

The

adulterate

who

which

SIR,
*

sand

from

to

appear

DEAR

'

'

note

in

recognised

story

altered

been

of

West-

conclusion,

impotent

office,asking how

the

to

it in the

saw

entirelyunauthorized,

an

excessively.

me

icy letter

found

paper

most

which

finish,of
thrilling

When

duly proud.

was

a
(originally)

had

It

unconventional, and
artistic,
I

also in the Bristol

appeared

and
black

fell

his

was

beyond

flannel

I
'

Robert

saw
'

get-up

smooth
the

shirt,with

was

and

collar
a

of

Louis

perfectly
parted
his

in

coat

curious, knitted

32

RANDOM

approached

anyone

make

righthip
didn't

and

start

the
both

hands

would

he

Hyde.'

with

whom

He

he
he

Samuel

Creggan,

rather

the
with

his

catch

you

white

well

ferret.

down

satisfied

dealings;

glimpse

like

in

but

of the

the

He's

'

'

face

into

you

declared

He

with

chair

he
self-depreciation
have
and

now

every

always

Creggan peeping

Creggan's

was

voice.

clients

his

whose

name

his

on

man

with

it.

Scot's

ceived
con-

Jekyll and

Dr.

man's

invites

by

was

that he

Samuel,' Stevenson

he

cast

It

and

The

smile

up

Stevenson

on.

'

business

Samuel's

eyes

how

with

been

of

finikin, musical

Samuel's

tells you

the

on

of Samuel

gesture

idea

something

or

with

you

moment

dissatisfied.

was

trades

receives

done

had

hold

and

inveighing against

was

methods

his

the

he

dead.

the

at

his

world),whereat

reel

shot

not

would

(though

which

; upon

was

of

germ

Mr.

in

head

in his company

who

in the

incoherentlyand
of God

was

revolver

deadly pale

turn

he

sharply behind

thing

his

mutter

the

man

draw

'

side-walk

hand

his

to

would
over

mercy

place

such

possess

the

on

if about

as

stranger

the

REMINISCENCES

real

man

again
out

like

Samuel's

only superficial.7
I

heard

once

Church,
sermon

fervour

Sloane
on

with

the
which

celebrated

preacher

Street, deliver
text

he

of

very

upon

eloquent

fable.

Stevenson's

dilated

Trinity

at

the

two

The
natures

that

control

sometimes

to

side

over

the

mind

brought

pack

to

the

and

Besant

Savile

of the

started

littleassociation

the

decided

to

which

and

leave

and

vividlyto

and

'

my

three

given

the country

ton

on

was

it

of

many

an

balanced

panegyric
had

been

Houghton

had

evidently become

wearily

He
droll

got

friend

way

his

over

was

Frederick

was

chair, and
The

his

Lord
man
chairnasal

with

affection,

admirably

tragedian.

unduly prolonged,and

back
sitting
he
head

favourite
to

late

somewhat

great

our

Club

The

and
old-fashioned, scholarly,
on

Irving

Rabelais

remember

dinner

in

When

dinner.

measured,

us

I belonged,

pleasant

very

the

was

in the

was

and, in the

delivered

banquet.

distinguished
guest.

members

when
largeand priggish,

America,

Pollock

which

tones

It

his first farewell

was

rose,

few other

of stiff-neckedness.

him

gave

Hough

is our

Hyde

club,to which

dinner

until it grew

to

go

Frederick

which

'

unhappy clergyman

Bishop

Rabelais.

presentlydied

the

up

Pollocks

called the

Sir

his

before

the

ascendancy of

later when

impotence

of his evil life.

account

it

man's

upon

'

in which

hours

the

33

Jekyll side, recurred

'

little while

was

and

in everyone,

exist

CLUB

RABELAIS

THE

bored

had, and

passing

backwards
trick

and
At

peroration. But,

after

Irvinggoing ?

'

He

is not

the

ing
mouth-

his hand

forwards,

his.

of

Lord

with

in his chair

But

last Sir

all,where

going,like
3

the

34

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

intrepidCaptain Nares, to face the rigoursof the

and polar
of icebergs
Arctic Zone, to brave the perils
Pole

bears in search of the North

China

enchant

to

Celestial
the

by

the

magic of

in the

Lord

Houghton
of any

manners

habit

who,

"

as

America

He's

goingby

the Cunard

Poor

that he

his discourse.
health and

He

sat

cityof

been
soon

justabout
flabbergasted

so

into the

return

with

down

'

Let
to

his

Francis

Rev.

to

down.

come

we

had

finished

watch

had

been

the
extinguished
say,

friend

our

brow.

Garden

'and

our

he

candle

hurried

soup,

was

in my

were

remember
had

commenced,

He

to

fault,and

at

"

Mr. Venables

country house

suddenlydiscovered
to

drink

us

clouded

of

stream

"

the

dinner in

the last
as

York.

New

I
extremelyimpatientof interruption.
at

isn't.

like
generation verbal epicures
Frederick
Pollock,like George Stovin

Venables, and

once

by

he

course

was

safe

of that

the late Sir

perfect

most

overcome

merelymuttered,

and
prosperity

men

was

moment

it'lltake him

get back

to

and
Henry Irving,'
The

the

to

"

this

At

Of

'

Sir Frederick

unable

was

'

"

going to

believe tradition,

to

rule,had the

going to

he is not

of

He's

week/

art

are

exclaimed

and
impatience,

his

in London

man

going to

soften the heart of the cruel

and

where, if we
Antipodes,

people are

he is not

describe
how

he

late for dinner.

room,' he

went

as

how
had
*

on

along the corridor,guiltily

VENABLES

the

be
I

last.
to

came

short

perceivedthere
to

hurrying

curtail

to

eager

hostess

our

the

be

that

"

provokes."

"

at

time,

inconvenience

relieved

am

I have

for

find,sir,"

to

to share
fellow-culprit

unpunctuality undoubtedly

vis-a-vis

My

steps

was

suffering. I paused

which

reproaches

lightI

misfortune

possiblethe

as

did he.

so

exclaimed,

myself, two

might

second, and

in

companion

far

as

dim

corresponding flightopposite

like

down

in the

to

however,

passage,

staircase,and

35

probabilityprove

of the

end

was

that

and

me,

the

At

in all

I should

that

conscious

GARDEN

AND

preserved

churlish

silence.'
Mr.

who

Garden,

anecdote, here
out

to

be

Mr.

chimed

Venables

If

stranger ?

advanced,

he

discovered

again.
'

a
'

With

'

"

almost

it turned

on,

so,

appeared
face

to

to

apologies."

my

the

do

I knew

mirror

said

what
Mr.
not

'

was

Venables
to

I
I

and

same,

!' exclaimed
looking-glass
course

great

venturing to jestwith

face with

Of

hear

to

taking too

not

accept

pray

imperceptible

appearing

am

in

"

went

was

trust

determined
asperity,
been

this

of

suppose

proceeded, without

:
interruption

With

'I

an

gave

sir,"I
liberty,

in

tired

?'
looking-glass

wince, but
the

getting

was

admit

Garden

Mr.

coming
with
that he

anticipated.
3"2

!'
phatic
em-

had

CHAPTER

The

Cambridge

Senior

the

truncheon

by

distinction
Dick

the

the

in

who

work

been,

of

course,

on

Smith

to

but

put
alas

rule,

exercise
the

in

to

no

divisions

main

"

There

time,

my

long

in

more),

have

well

as

the

walk

who

hands
would

as

reading
or

enthusiasts
the

of

instances

Triposes

sporting

themselves

coteries

themselves,

play.

their

to

much

little

conspicuous

in

as

while

who

details

remain

group

two

but

excelled

their

(now,

the

to

went

the

many
to

those

rare

river,

'

be

generation

probably

elect

and

confined

content

'annual

My

that

from

however

into

have

sports

the

bridge
Cam-

through
"

1875

vary
lines

always

those

men

walk

of

use

University

My

"

Although

may

may

must

the

of

broad

undergraduates

in

the

Fenner's

at

Cambridge.

And

who

Weston's

Cricket

life

its

same.

men

Trinity

of

"

October

College,

generation

there

Master

Mason's

University

the

in

averted

10.'

was

of

'"An

Bank

Instruction

"

average

Trinity

'

student

"

Joseph

"

IT

'"

Bucks

'

riot

late

uncle

My

"

The

Cambridge

A
"

the

"

Dean"

misalliance

free-thinking

The

Achseans

long-haired

"

and

III

pull

were

of

'

Big

generally

CHIT-CHAT

THE

succeed
an

just luffingthem

in

scholars
was

appeared

met

once

week

its members

another

and

Magpie

two

Macaulay,

Parker

division/

the

intellects

appearance
former

in

faults

and

party
that

at

their

held

the

equal contempt.

Each

of the

the

of

of those

Roy

in

who

set

on

was

an

achieved

have

the

the

learned

Tripos

as

of their ambition.
an

exaggerated
affected

aesthetic

type

brown

peacock-blue tie, which

of

now

passed, that

and
politics
looked

either

of

notice,

has

century

'

But

their

had

extremists

hare-brained

distinction

Thule

neglect of

least

philosophers. He

appearance

the

haired
'long-

cultivated

who

these

and

and

called

while

many

Malthus

coat

were

the

of

manners,

quarter

Ultima

young

graduates
sporting under-

and

professionsas
the

Ritchie, and

opinion

to

Rice,

Spring

poor

sometimes

Colin

Lord

Richmond

equally ridiculous.

about

eminence

those

merits, and

were

quite as

the

called

late

Balfours,

Smith,

as

of

offshoot, I

society

shining lights. The

were

other

or

an

was

the

where

entertained

their

one

"

debating

of

Campbell,

others,

of

rooms

which

prearranged subject social,

Stump,

There

Club,

Chit-Chat

philosophical. It

of

fancy,

the

in

discuss

to

or
political,

the

of

of the

discussion.
political

called

society

be

to

harbour

the

safe into

relaxation
principal

The

ordinary degree.

37

CLUB

poacher.

gave
I

of

these

velveteen
him
heard

the
him

38

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

remark

cynic,but

Mai

day

thus

Roy received,

ordinary printed
Rev.

E.

have

been

his attendance

Mai

This

thus.

I've

century.

he

endeavour
?'

his

'

not

to
*

this

to

for
had

have

all, and

awful

friends, after

and

try and

to

only

of the

moment's

however

silence,

puerileand

'

to

it's

Mai thus
I

way
to

that

have

another

said
responsibility,'

'

college.'

upset

inadequate

see

can

write

to

religious

share, among

which

science
con-

enforce,

consideration, and
to

How

sphere.

suggested,

us

"

let

but

liberty of

my

well-meaning,
lights;

tell him

their proper

conclusions

"

his

The

the

meddlesome

pestering is simply

the

religion

chap

ethics.

study

an

rules
disciplinary

serious

him
It's

the

can,

and

once

my

poor

way,

end

problems
of

is

of

suppose,' one

chapel,and

this nineteenth

little

control

to

!' exclaimed

such

to

own

appeared

retorted
question of discipline,'

an

that

Staunton

his

the

regular for

permitted in

to

question of

put

him,

he

as

it's a

to

in

"

It's

duty
far

as

to

One

Dean,

at

more

according

himself

confine

dare

be

doubt

man,

he

preposterous

incredible

no

conscientious

be

too

should

sacerdotalism

him

is

It is

'

would

only

one.

his

from

irregularin
he

great disgust,the

his

notification

was

then

was

recent

stating that

requesting that
'

he

As

to

years

Staunton,

H.

future.

seven

presumably

was

cure

For

'

me.'

cured

Ruskin

the

twenty,

occasion,

one

on

others,
discover
arrived.'
of
a

you

Roy's
man's
may

40

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

In

matters.

the

endowed

anyone

be

first

place, it

must

with

ordinary

powers

to

patent
of

ing
reason-

'

etc.

distance

of

and

don't

stuck
its

Malthus

fellow/

bad

up

his

letter,and

delivery.

the

On

the

than

Poor

DEAR

in every

man's

regard

allow

me

reached

to

by

residence.
you

with

quite agree

with

the

life when

! he's

bed-maker

the

or

not

superciliously,

Dean

he

to

see

he

received

undergraduate

be

himself
must

has

second

time

been

year

of

request

my

conforming

with

college.
I

remain, dear
*

'

contrast

in

you

period

in his

careful

more

'

that

is

for

But

accordingly repeat

must

will

there

think

must

question whether
an

that

you

religiousmatters.

to

rules of the

As

smiled

'

us

SIR,
'

that

of

one

followingmorning

followingbrief reply from

so

Don't

Staunton

his

bade

and

were,

Darwinism.

only

this

At

certainlyatheistic,

were

more

it.

modify

they

with

flavoured

it,'pleaded

send

all events,

at

deal

good

They

he.

views.

his

forget what

time

likelyhas

most

"

graduallyunfolded

he

And

E.

to

H.

Yours

truly,

very

STAUNTON,
Malthus

sir,

Senior

Roy,

there

Dean.'

was

CARDS

conspicuous

character

Razzell.

Hugh
that

he

tender

rightly,rather
Although

his

been

than

all the

to

allowance

^250

and

made

He

trap.

have

the

under

undergraduate
whether
to

what
had

welcome

the

on
'

(which

forgethow
the

the

in favour

of

of

Carlo

the

and

laid
to

moment
was

depended

or

that

on

kept

to

say,

ten

sent

all

which

to

an

Hugh

is

he
in

were

they played

trente-et-quarante)
practically

way

bank.

that
In

of

playing

I think

game.

I know

banker.

was

course,

Cambridge

But

But

eight

understanding
was

Monte

apres.

for

Breuvet's,

Hugh,

afterwards.

an

from

evening

openly

That

'hell.'

not

this, Hugh

to

creasing
in-

amusing

be

to

of

little

he

pony

would

fives, and

addition

In

which

always

and

way

amount.

or

belonged

kept

his

of

of very

magnificentdinner

every

from

sixes

he

less

any

matter

he

book, and

have

University ;

and

anyone

to

practicallya

was

bank

it is

lost.

if he

pay

odds

found

be

in

made

is laid

he

always

He

the

in

days.

cannot

year,

method

"

tolerated

been

point

of

secret

no

income

accomplished.

'

clubs

extravagant

his

to

^300

or

was

his

those

home

from

fault

if I recollect

in

sporting college

young

"

became

Magdalene,

at

dressed,
always faultlessly

was

set

than

astute

more

was

'

fast

'

only conspicuous

His

He

years.

41

the

in

rather

was

more

CAMBRIDGE

AT

my

the
time

odds
the

differed
in

it was

were

play

case

well
was

42

high.

very

put down

"

merchant

when

play

by

the

time
between

continue

which

would
luck

to

in

dead

"1,200

sitting,cheerful

the

the

and

He

still in

'

they
bank

day.

(Razzelland
lost another

had

called

o'clock.

making

was

entered

swollen.

were

chatted

We

Muggridge.

been

that the

He

hearty

Sporting Life propped against

there

had

very

Roddie, and

up

nine

suddenly

eyes

next

morning

topics,when

his

But,

unlimited

broke

tion
consulta-

and

rosy,

teapot in front of him.

and

In

redeemable

about

of

chance,' that

next

at

shared

particular

proposed

against an

The

Razzell

breakfast, with

After

lodgings)they

pounds.

Hugh

this

on

against Hugh

in

Roddie

bank

players.

bank

party

night,

play began.

Hugh

paper

the

lived

Muggridge

the

punt

pay

was

the

partners,

midnight, when

was

and

broken.

was

give

One

Muggridge)
declared

They

well-

now

high,

be

to

Lord

favoured

the

should

on

of

bank

players should

at

expected

fortune

is

large family.

Hugh.

one-and-twenty

He

extraordinary chance,

occasion

But

stake.

one

(the son

of

boy

pounds, fiftyeach,

some

short

in
with

with

hundred

saw

was

Muggridge
bank

once

1,000

to-do

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

his

to

on

general

us

Roddie

evening clothes,
little

Poor

boy

he

crying all night.

Oh,

Hugh

!'he

My

dear

chap,

moaned,

'

sit down/

what

are

said

we

Hugh

to

do ?'

kindly.

'

Have

find the

you

1 shall

pay

how

have

long

ask

to

43

What's

trouble

your

?'

ready

for

governor

my

last, I'm

certain.

he'll take.

And

at

up

HONOUR

brandy-and-soda.

Can't

OF

DEBT

But

He'll

it.

knows

goodness

we've

in

weigh

to

got

this afternoon.'
'

much

How

unlocking

chanced

six months
'

to

mean

cried

Roddie.

Three

months

sell

to

There

'

he

bill-

months,

Three

few

chap

the

expect

days, only

?'

me

good

are

ample.

be

it for

manage

you

it in

he

may

something.'

or

are,' said

Hugh.

there.

across

returned

to

forget

Roddie,

he

as

'Just

the

write

it.'

That's
bill

the

never

!'said

never

say,

will

out

shall

'

you

acceptance
And

Hugh,

producing

can

you

say

will send

governor

and

there.

be

to

?' asked

want

you

?'

D'you

have

do

despatch-box,

which

stamp

time

his

despatch-box.
Hugh,

kindness,

your

friend

his

wrung

by

the

hand.
little later

of the

previous night.

exclaimed,
lost

rather
do
way

us

Razzell

Hugh

with
our

good

about.

here, you

winning smile,

heads
turn,

Look

'

last
and

However,

favours, only ;"i,2Oo's

night.

it
I'm
a

his guests

assembled

'

fellows,'he

I think

You

played

happened just the

not

going

lot of

money,

Jl

we

to

ask

and

on

to

other

for any
wants

44

bit of

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

finding,so

ready, down

you'd prefer ^800

"

discharge, of
months, and
you

with

each

up,

all

pound,

Devilish

spoke

"600

Muggridge's
of

dandies.

They
There

was

Sabina

Tebbs,

his knees

upon

the

remains

marriage
the

came

wonder
son's

of

task

The
love

if Lord

letter,which
but

in

and,

the

Muggridge

firm.

he
He

was

called

I believe
Roddie

last fell

at

clearingaway

was

of
news

has
his

determined
in the

Jove-like,proposed

considerable

said

that

at

there

her, and
she

and
young

lodgings

shower

breaking

took

other

impressionable

correspondence during
He

the

in

Hugh

girl,and

with

luncheon,

of

Lord

arrived

two

smart

day, when

her

to

old

where

or

pretty

very

one

the

But

!'

parlour-maid

desperately in

one

the

good girl,too.

very
fell

think

were

time.

in

of Razzell.

poor

duly

lodgings

lived, and

to

party

fourpence

Hugh

stuck

^800

of

posts.

the

were

and

old

it

keeping

the

as

three

at

for

highest terms

when

couple of

Finch's
Roddie

in the

financier

young

and

thirteen

his

"600

first offer

acclamation,

with

nail,in full

interest

The

straight chap,

shrewd

course

six,with

at

like ?'

accepted

broke

'

another

which

you

the

on

bill for

one

or

you

was

the

course

waiting,if

just ask

I'd

thought

to

his

father

preserved
pupilage
pains
should

course

Then

crumbs.

of it

be
:

at

over

(I

all his
bridge?).
Camthe

ful
respect-

AN

'

conscious

am

deem

the

Tebbs

all,the

after
decide
and

to

to

and

me,

Miss

ears.

be

and

will

Ermyntrude

I love

her

Sabina

"

that her

relations

Trusting that,
that

am

am

sure

as

to

intimated

to

with

will

of

man

Mr.

and

cease

the

on

world,

actingwisely in doing
*

it

deaf

family.
Tebbs

Mrs.

and
.

"

Finch

that

day

you

will

I feel

as

mother

once),

Miss

day month,

them

oppose

my

her

this

all

fall upon

/or herself,regardlessof

having

you

for myself,regardless

me

take

to

at

married

is,

with

once,

her

shall be

We

heart

absolutely indifferent

loves

Tebbs

family (though

my

The

elect

you

...

of

at

say

expostulationswill

your

I would

although,should

may

that, should

disapprobation will

your

Miss

union, I shall dearly esteem

our

approval, I

prize your

filial respect,

to

to

first

at

may

But

policy.

step

between

rank

obstacle.

And

guide.

truest

consent

of

alliance of

an

the

that you

"

serious

45

consider

may

difference

myself

submit

never

that you

apparent

and

MISALLIANCE

be unconventional

taking to

am

AVERTED

see

inclined,

remain,
1

Your

affectionate

and

dutiful son,

'R.ODDIE.'

'

Sabina

Lord
other
He

sends

love

Muggridge
letters

betrayed

at

no

to

all.'

read

this filial effusion

breakfast

emotion,

the
did

with

his

following morning.
not

mention

its

46

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

he

'

Roddie.

Just attend

The
for

Hon.

and

in age

ranging

from

the

door

admitted
with
a

his

of

not

"

with

beaming

'

whatever

this

took,
Sabina

but

the

old

had

What

don't

Tebbs,

fashionable

the

at

children
has

He
in

has

the

his

of

various
felt

ever

when

moment

bubbling

family butler, who

him

said, with

further

and

the

week

to

isles of Greece

and

she

up

to

later

attractinga

select littledivan
town

grin,

two

or

Now

seneschal

old

charmingly attired, was

clientele

knee,'
'

been

over

only

broad

you

steps

But

know.

his

on

patronage.

have

veterinary surgeon),

about

wife

three.

if he

dandled

'

super-Mare (in which

a

than

Roddie,' he

?'

getting on

country

I doubt

ludickerousness

time

his

faithful,deferential

then, Master

be

unforgiving parent

before

years

Very good,

'

Cambridge sitting-roomopened
an

anathema,

few

But

ridiculous

more

Master

beautiful

twenty-fiveto

parts of the world.

or

?'

accomplished

an

diplomaticallyrepresented

smaller

from

must

quiverful of

lordship

servant.

has

He

rank,

own

it,will you

to

butler,

family for

his

there

Rodney Muggridge

fiftynow.

the

in

been

fast,
break-

for the

rang

letter

lord/ said the old

my

had

solid

very

'Oh, Jarman,' said

there's

carelessly,

and

study

functionary who

thirtyyears.

over

after

family,but,

into his

went

old

an

his

to

purport

at

Weston-

presentlymarried

Roddie

in his uncle's

was

cruising

yacht.

48

him

the

on

have
him
to

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

fair trial.

in

up

the

at

the

him

The

only
the

for

appeared

on

appeared

only

earlier

in the

predecessor.

august

?' cried

want

in the

weird
to

but

while

ruse.

For

his

honeyed

staving

the

open

full

wild

got loose P and

from

back

indeed, by

off

small

the

of
in

we

the

road.

park

in

attention

by

were

the

enclosed

was

pair was

job-master's
air,

pursuit.
It

from

trembling

carriageand

rent

tore

was

their

the

to

object,

coach-house,

towards

shriek

endeavour

servants

rescuing

later the

gallop

our

was

proceeded

apparent

Mayor's

door

minute

at

mansion.

the

hundred

harangue

engaging

was

succeeded

and

tearing

he

words

they

master,

stood

his

to

you

effect

banker

his

was

do

The

and

terms,

his

than

four

the

presently discovered

we

which

tactful

least, such

At

pacifyus.

Then

extreme.

expostulatein

Death

of Marcus

what

And

Mort-

Mr.

kind

Gentlemen,

answer

there

Suddenly

proceedings

Mortlock.

Mr.

yelledin

throats

'

mostly

supporters,

as

him

hanging

of the Guildhall

who

returned

and

disembowelling

first

few

very

window-sill

of

History Tripos.

lock, the banker,

Antonius,

locked

punishment.

in favour
of

should

and

up

his

upon

suggestion

obtained

students

decide

to

majority were

once.

him

tied

we

neighbouring coach-house,

Forum

think

So

he

majority decided

the

spot, but

'

The

Death's
house

surrounded,

by park railings.

RIOT

The

gates

locked

were

had

carriage

49

bolted

and

through.

But

like matchwood

at

passed

palingswent

down

of

undergraduates.

the

400

slightincline

turf,and

of

police constables
minutes

there

Several
mob

lay

with

small

figureclad

white
fluttering
Proctor.

From

sheer

took

to

of

presence

his

force

of

this

truncheons

of

moral

entirelyrouted

force

The
arrived

from
that

perhaps on

and

largerscale

order

constables.
the
from

truth

"

fear

authorities

And
I
or

must
out

failed

put

be

make
of

for,with

do.

to

the
His

police

up

am

for

hended
appreand

better-organized
in

the

various
favoured

as

special

as

pledged

confession.

respect
the

what

renewed,

themselves

since

"

graduate
under-

of

undergraduates
enrol

here

was

authorities

in

and

were

to

with

magisterial

effected

The

collegesinvitingsuch
law

The

riotingmight

Notices

manner.

us.

London.
the

the

into

It

reinforcements

following day

few

fighting.

habit, every

police had

the

silk gown

neck.

little Don

mild

For

maddened

heels.

his

the

line of

heads, and

black

at

bands

impact

suddenly there appeared

long

the
iron

up

by

met

becoming

in

tore

broken

reallydangerous fury,when
a

the

really hard

with

were

as

the

staves.

some

stunned

We

were

drawn

was

of students

soon

as

the

exception of

It

was

to

tell
not

University
Dr.

Thomp4

50

son

the

"

of

none

the

at

of

Master
Senior

Staunton,

"

them.

It

that

Mayor,

truncheon
the
*

actuated

mainly

was

and

or

freedom, and

of

cause

As

special/

the

did, however,
force

with

I breakfasted

morning

with

the
he

but

Master

Dr.

such

that

black

eyebrows.

me

tip

he

of

presumed
that he had

constable, and
drill

host

who

had
your

the

chin,' he

his

stomach

he

strike

you

'
"

then

to

delightful

to

that

'

anyone

him.
a

He

special

truncheon-

sharply

man

him
a

heavy

first,with

You

him

as

the

me

causes

give

hair,and

enrolled

your

that

he

guests

libertywith

taught.

stave,
said

described

been

function

tall,remarkably

think

not

been

once

breakfast

strongly-linedface,

take

Lodge

although

"

parties are

was

should
to

young

complexion, silver-white

olive

told

his

with

man

rather

ever

as

police

the

at

alarming

an

his

He

upon.

old

handsome

had

in

sworn

period.

allowed
"

back

this

charming

forgot, nor

look

I deserted

amateur

an

Thompson

always

was

forget,his position
to

own

only undergraduate

forming

about

at

was

never

be

think

abandoned.

was

one

of

idea

to

But

applied to

the

was

with

desire

H.

revered

sympathy

my

diminished

by

E.

indignation

my

armlet.
blue-striped

Rev.

college,I

that

not

was

the

of

tyranny

of

Dean

the

and

Trinity

fellow-revolutionists,had

my

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

to

under

stick

thrust

the

in

out

the

WINCHESTER

THE

middle, which
him

hard

as

as

which

in

Julietof

the

called

Norton

Tripos
Old

list was

Court

no

him.

'

when

the

played
Milnes

of

he

Romeo

Mrs.

as

recall when

he

because

tears

to

afterwards

"

Paradox,1

could

formance
per-

all undergraduates,

published,meeting Thompson

in bitter

head,

trouble.'

they were

Bird

And

of

strike

private theatrical

the

then

you

more

Monckton

"

51

back

Thompson

Robert

Houghton

Lord

the

give you

Cambridge,

at

up

on

remembered

father

My

him

can

you

should

he

then

and

doubles

PRIZE

the
in the

only fourth

was

classic !

My solitaryUniversity distinction
the

Reading Prize,
place in

took

all the

mount

to

first,who
had
a

happened

read

to

piece

of

this

After

the

doors

New

were

that

on

the

the

portion of

Old

time
a

we

list of

and

Testament,

Each

read

the

for

best

in the

came

each

we

of

to

find

and
fifty,

same

bits of poetry,

way

and
4"2

so

then

prose.

hour.

an

us

page

who

piece

back

came

of

same

Then

"

There

Testament,

to
'

him

on

which

subject

set

the

myself.

out

of

return

be

to

turned

end

to

unfair

chester
Win-

open

rightly.

read

then

the

had

and

Shakespeare,
we

one

was

competitors.

rather

was

It

recollect

rostrum

which

in turn,

was

if I

hundred

competition for

House.

There

Sermons,

over

had

Senate

University.

Hooker's
were

the

the

was

At

posted
these
bit of

forth.

52

After

this

there

was

smaller

number.

of, the

first and

The

of

second

sent

I had

books

the

with

stamped
into

told

me

Proctor

first batch

reading of
that I had

was

Richard

reading

that

I had

"

to
out

"

which
me,

the

Mr.

voices

truth.

my

Have

age

"

you

they

of the

Your

name

the

name

with

the

any

in

and

considered

various

"

sonages,
per-

irreverent.

unconsciously
familiar,

is

Don,

as

chance
of

my

dramatic

too

the

to

it was

by

He

that learned

so

Brookfield,' said

me.

surprised)

not

am

almost

done

entered

out

that

considered

was

'

he

them

detected
I

on

John's),

have

to

Scripturesrather

different

the

order.

of about

Also

that if I had

was

of

with

deep study of

works.

given

him

of the

which
assured

order

(and

'

examiners

Torry

examiners

Hooker

made

judiciousdivine's
my

the

because

not

the

turned

nearly

obliged

bound

University Arms,

very

for

living. When

friendly conversation

very
I

the

"

purchase

been

of

Mr.
his

obtain

to

cheque

the

newly

one

"

into

another.

I had

in riotous

do, upon

speak

dishonestly;

be

to

"1$

to

me

in

acted

which

Tripos,

my

also

was

books,

spent the

called,as

with

old

for

credit,'and

(he

afraid

and

me

spent

still

made

were

sent

be

of

occasion

prizes

course

to

"

am

dozen

buy

to

the

between

due

think, "15

books.

selection

Finally,on

University in

for, I

further

equally divided

and

one

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

he
a

Joseph

wrote

relation
?

We

MEETING

school

at

were

deal

of him

settled
and

years

ago,

Now,

I had

might

such

might

or

Oh

'

sir.

yes,

brother

him

all ?'

at

of my

I've

'

have

'Ah, of

England.'
'

tutor.

sensitive

five

or

in his

man.'

good-hearted, genuine
of

Some

months

following

term

along Jesus
without

was

of

pride for

Lane.
a

It

and

cap

white-banded

accompanied

by

John's, so

ran

gown,

"

scrupulousness bred

of

but

left

"

thoroughly
went

think

it

home

when

to

coming

bull-dogs.

up

he

away,

putative kinsman.
the

was

Trinity

to

towards

Rev.

exclaimed

me,

possible.
im-

was

Mr.

him, and, with

peril,I

caught sight

Flight

Luckily, I recognised the

of

can

nearly midnight,and

was

Proctor
his

Eccentric

was.

hurrying

was

time.

of

forgot,'replied

And

my

afterwards
"

he

manner

know

you

recollection

yes!

"

! that's

me

old when

years

fellow

affable

uncle

Did

mixed

be

my

to

as

answer

of

Dear

distinct

very

good

very

feelinga glow

'

since/

my

to

be

must

Torry.

course,

brusque

"

Mr.

desire

father's.'

no

four

been

It

him

out

this
quite truthfully

him,' I answered,

only

fifteen

other,

not

But

true.

and

said
interesting,'

most

the

be

not

ship.
Fellowor

of

the

or

good

my

twelve

or

way

saw

up

nothing

connection

nervousness

replied:

younger

heard

opinion,one

no

I had

feeling of
I

I've

I took

Zealand

in New

53

boys, and

time, before

PROCTOR

together as

for

He

whether

WITH

Torry
an

un-

breath-

54

lessly: 'Oh,
Uncle

Mr.

recognised
chap?'

'

me.

up.'
Mr.

last

Ah

! that

Torry

head,

I've

'

always

gout rather
careful

than

He's
You

'

well

dorit

married!

children

deal

good

of

had
in
I

the

your

'

end

but

Uncle

news

of

raised

his cap,

never

fined

'

me.

he

of

the

?'

costume

ran

them
!'

Let's

rather

"

'

No,
be

The

claimed
ex-

grows
"

you're

*
"

hope

shyly
er

"

we

not

sir, I know,'

glad

Good-night,

home.

three

she

as

thought you'd

Joseph.
and

lane

'Five

dear, dear

added

girl'svery

causing

weakness

!'

Joseph

are

The

She's

now

"

There

girl.

was

wasn't

lately?'

Dear,

'

her

academical

rejoined;

thing !

way,'

the

reached

how

it

married

Torry

Mr.

replied.

of

of the

Shahrazad.

He's

now.

But

anxiety/

out

to,' said

changed

'

she'll grow

By

all

old
little

wag

Torry sympathetically.

Mr.

older.

after

and

little

delicate, poor

he

lay him

to

uncle

desperation of

boys

two

"

that's

next!

ago/

years

Your

!' cried

so

say

as

private impression

but

looked

at

'A

liable

added, with
a

the

What

six

or

Ah,

'

with

very

he

had

enough

always

was

up

is the

how

replied.

not

rheumatism.

man/

exclaimed

he

though/

'

exclaimed,

well,' I

winter, but

letter from

lighted

well ! and

Well,

'Wonderfully

rheumatism

face

!' he

so

say

had

just

whole

His

dorit

You

'

I've

Torry,

Joseph!'

once.

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

to

sir.'

excellent

have
He
man

56

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

five

Shortly before
athlete
brimmed

bowl

in

paint.

as

of water,

his

face

occasionallyflicked

and

dogcart alongsidesat
a

the

at

in

writing in
The

wreaths

flowers

were

could
the

hurled

with

obliged
The

Hotel.

champion
said

am

thank
the

which

very

After

walker,

you

"

crowd

not

went

for

he

in

at

'

you.'

carried

home.

he

but

he

the

the

of
was

public.

back

by

the

of

siastic
enthu-

an

yard, reached

every

the

acclamation
at

Ladies

And

rare

gracefultouch

moment

of

hour,

faith with

talker.

I thank

certain

At

the

vociferous

words

few

of

party, followed

increased

appeared
a

bouquets

placed

were

it

as

reporters

eager

and

keep

to

on

minute

loud.

cane

'

Fedora

'

and

by

years

lightningspeed.

at

these

timekeeper

two

hero

Wanghee

last the

At

Bull

and

the

at

floral tributes

crowd

"

the

hurry

to

dogcart.

laurels

of

In

few

each

cart

long

was

only acknowledge
hat

the

of the

drops

(bearing

play of

while

their notebooks

cheering

points

in the

tones

back

few

who

one

Theatre),

monotonous

the

At

passed.
were

Vladimir

Count

Haymarket

recorded

the

to

easy

carried

grave-faced doctor

strikingfamilylikeness

later attended

an

mouth.

his

tenderlysponged

or

wide-

him

trainer beside

His

sight,the

with

jauntilycocked, walking

hat

swing, fresh

in

suit, his

velvet

unmistakable

his

in

hove

little party

But
the

and

the

window

gentlemen,

I thank

window

you

"

closed

CAMBRIDGE

At

about

down
a

shabby,

his

It

along Jesus Lane,

stood

appeared, covered

man

the

was

him

with

have

hoots

in

he

didn't

might

have

taken

once

this

been,

week.

small

But

into

old

hunting and

room.

fox

terriers

Our
talked
with

host
without
the

manner

off

character

what

kept

black

stood

with

dozen

the

"

sitting about

were

Russian

in

was

with

hung

sporting set

back

in

half

wandered

his

had

house

open

Parade.

About

champagne

ceasing
of

"

he

callingduring

or

King's

were

think, by

"

know

he

them

were

at

see

can

wonderful

trade

any

it

as

and

table

You

the second-rate

Amongst

mahogany

see

racing prints.

plebs mperiorum,
the

it,'replied

room
large,low-ceilinged

undergraduates of

He

sooner.

afternoon

Sundays

on

us.

upon

bit of

don't

had

turning

street

brought

to

"

he

hour

an

posters.

Sunday

Mason.

whether

impose

bit like them.'

one

infernal

Some

'

to

Not

'

the

Mundy

Dick
or

in.'

us

chap's not

Charles

old

half

come

the

But

price,and greeted

any

'trying

seen

taken

was

poor

the

I've

'

at

missiles.

one,

Lucky

another.

him

dust,

in evident

Weston.

genuine

and

charlatan/ said

taking

were

stockingsungartered,shambling along

public wouldn't

that

stands

exhausted

distress.

"

workmen

half-pastfive,as

the deal

57

CHARACTER

poodle.
and
to

two

or

one

On

cigars.
the

fire,and

pleasant,mellow

voice

privilegedold family retainer.

58

He

he

exclaimed

thought
?

The

India, of

tell me

It's

not

what

he'll

and

battle.

No,

it

if 'e wins
I'm

sir/ he

glad

at

on

see

as

'ave

the

'e knows

little bit

'E's

friend

your

don't

you

Razzell

Mr.

I'll do

what

over

well
that's

twenty-fivepounds
me

on

only

as

course

Mughouse!

Mr.

just

was

bed, and

to

way

it don't

Lincoln.

at

shall throw
to

Melasse.

de

itself.
to

in

out

wine, sir,

brands

I'll tell you

fours.

you

went

no,

myself

on

ought

the

with

on

only lay you

note.

'e

'71 ?
taken
mis-

not

that

Due

"

it advertises

knows

me

it

advertisin'

8 to carry, and

you

of

in

They're

glassof

duced.
intro-

if I'm

yes.

"

in/

was

Jesus

now,

Wednesday

next

'ave

I'll put

think

Mughouse

and

and

go

ah

try

those

advertisin'

stone

'alf the

Oh

you

of

Penultimate

Hussars

Now

one

tellin' Mr.

you

3th

course.

and

require

In the

so.

and
at

up

twice-

come

"

brother

you

and

in, sir

I entered

hospitablyas

Hadn't

as

'Come

'bird's-eye'scarf.

got 7

clothes

well-cut
tightly-fitting,

wore

round

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

to

;
:

five,

five-pound

you're enjoying

that

politelygulped

down

wine,
the

sparkling syrup.
1

It's

'ave

brut

stuff!

of

it

sir.'

brut

wine

That's

the

and

not

sunshine

left, and

wine/ he admitted.
on

my

wine
in.

I'll send

table

taste

can

you
I'll

nasty

"

see

if I've

it round

to

I wouldn't

doctored-up
the

got
your

grape
a

case

rooms,

Thank

I don't

But

cellar

"

he

it

meant

want

as

present

cellar'

('My

how.

or

in my

champagne

more

any

now.'

just

quite

much,' I protested,not

very

whether

sure
'

you

59

SALESMAN

CLEVER

lift-up

was

er

"

window-seat.)
*

Ah

when

But

it,' said

Mason

Mr.

You've
a

only got

just five

you

shippers.
dozen, and
three

four

or

give

you

if you

bottle

he

subject.

Throw

As

not

'

for

wine

bring

it

say,

flavour

de

Melasse

enough

You're

like

overwhelming flavour, more

I could

think

of.

to

in

me

what

'11
you

the

changing
no

cigar to

insist

suit

than

glad

was

you.'

full of

was

creosote

But

enjoyin'that

No,

fact,the foul weed

of

the

6d.

?" I'll pay

not

in that

I'll

paid

Mason,

"

away.

for

not

935.

it back

and

it.

at

suddenly exclaimed,

matter

else

than

more

that

to

for this Due

cigar, sir/

there's

like

years'time,

me

pound

have

wine,

advertisin'.

lot of

cent,

I can't promise).

you,

for the

pay
a

per

shall

You

to

and

name
high-falutin'

charge

"

dozen

six

you

mind

it

'ave

not

Besides, it's like

'

I send

bank.

(ifI've got

this wine

of

it I may

want

sagely.

in the

puttin'money

do

you

an

thing
anyto

be

rid of it.
'

No,' said

ones

for

Now,

there's

de

Caracol

host

my

youngsters
a

'

keep

who

those

ain't

used

light-coloured
tobacco.

to

cigar you'llappreciate,sir

;'and,

"

to

my

acute

Flor

distress, he forced

an

60

RANDOM

REMINISCENCES

evil-looking,
dark-green,sausage-shaped object into
hand.

my
4

And

let

if I

mustn't

ask

this

you

this

'

was

should

He

were

you

mind,
believe
the

was

so

like

day, and

He's

Sir

they're trying

the

little

affectionately.
'

with
there

the

Come

"

wouldn't.

fancy to
;

I'm

wall

one

to

was

as

such

Nip

you'llbe

now

"

kind

he's

one

used

to

mongrel

the

There's

his

part

adays
now-

sister

with

'er
I

fifty-poundnote,

well,sir,as

to

that

of

find 'em

you

I wouldn't
me

they

as

the little dawg, I'llmake

sure

beauty

patted

eye.

offer
for

off

seldom

"

But

'em

he

'ere, Vic !

if you

not

It's very

you

in here

was

the

to

long-nosed terriers

your

beauty !' and

it

Would

Duff

ones

know

call

Plumley
see

until

tently
inadver-

didn't

now

you.

pass

pug-nosed

Little

breed.

to

But

to

sorts.

'

before

of

one

why

others

again by

host,

my

'e couldn't

not

tainly
cer-

were

reason

two

terrier of

brother

it,sir,young

other

dawg

'im

of

no

or

his attention
head

your

to

talking racing

one

dawg-fancier.

was

on

and

Hullo, sir,'exclaimed

'

went

Spooner

stroking the

tell

voice

they

As

of tobacco, there

and

on.

'em, you
But

his

likelytrue.

presentlyattracted

of

lowered

he

of

them.

by

went

paid duty?

very

have.

Mughouse

'undred

came

and

"

made

not

they

'ow

me

five

'ave

'theyve never

"

And

enjoy that cigar,sir/ he

you

much

whisper

You'll

'

'im.

you

you've
a

Don't

taken

present

of

give

'im

meat

any

then.

and

now

much

about
But

'

there,

But

keepin'dawgs

at

shan't

be

five-pound

note

the

prospect.

tellin'

be

The
Due

for 'im.

asking
have

refuse

the

long

time

heard

the

name

My
boxing

things.

of

for

old
plausible

show-pupil

called,for

doing

Dick
at

fencing. Galpin, from

even

Cricket

in

the
the

in

these

not

he

had

of
the

the

and

was

so

to

young

and

so,

for

whenever

Mason.

Cambridge

were

Angelo's,opened
Castle

foils,if pupil he

days

won't

bill would

Egerton

town.

with

I could

message

contract

But

selves.
our-

of

My

guiltycrimson

principal amusements
and

and

go.

me

case

boxes

Luckily,

145.

swindler

five

weeds,
to

was

six- dozen

repudiate the

the

turned

salle d'armes

fencer.

to

in

felt like

dog

^53

to

take

to

Caracol

de

mind

of

that

his

I received

(PrivateCuvee),

amounted

strength

price,sir, you

lie.'

as

made

that

was

give

between
I

"

of

Flor

shall

say,

word

where

claimed,
ex-

So

you,

at

Melasse

Mason.

that's

Only

;" and

mysterious

It's extremely

asks

following day
de

Dick

Mr.

'im

of

dog/

your
'

obligation,
you

any

If anyone

present

as

I do/

accepting

'Very well, then,' said

there

know

you

say

what

as

'is biscuit

'

but

of you,

dare

of

think

I can't

horrified
kind

vegetableswith

little green

"

61

ATHLETICS

CAMBRIDGE

was

was

could

be

first-rate

abide, for when

was

62

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

about

nine

match,
ball

old I

years

utterlythan

more

calamityI

heard

ever

rifle-butts

and

than

Battersea

in

enter

On

the

two

three

have

sufferer

wheel-chair

vessel

the

past his foot

I

match

which

"

members

cricket, and

of

could

well

called

upon

deal

of

didn't
the

refuse

have

for

previous night, and

arrived
was

rubber

for

me

rigged
tyres

unwillingly to

to

in

to

the
the

than

display

once

was

fateful
sick

that

I
of

most
moment

at

with

heart.
india-

like

snail

happened

that

crept
so

good

terror

gloves

fingers,and
It

member

After

in

the

of

condition

the

and

and

A.D.C.

when

wicket.

A.D.C.

asked.

on

annual

an

parade

lay awake

pads

saw

horizon.

in, I felt faint and

go

out

the

his
his

if he

the

"

torical
his-

wave

well-known

no

consented,

field.

to

and

was

club

each

play, if

play

pressing

clubs

to

sit in

to

the

there

the

as

used

more

which
to

nervous

as

was

of

in

to

near

social

two

Athenaeum

so

had

I have

apprehension

Cambridge

at

was

between

prominent

with

as

there.

cricket

Ramsgate

at

afternoon

allegedsecurityof

who

gout

cliffs

shriek

go

When

the

the

felt

always

from

on

and

from

practice

at

are

that

occasions

or

stroll between

playing

are

cricket-

Saturday

school

missile, crisis

they

on

children

or

pavilion,I

stick

Park

funked

rather

when

cricket-matches

witness
a

I had

of.

in

over

other

any

soldiers

when

summer

I have

that date

since

and

badly cut

was

64

RANDOM

what

insignificant,
and

twos

made

who

Anyone
whatever

it

will

year)

annual
"

so

see

has

is

average

the

Lillywhite's

for

'

to

total

Guide

(I

1878

played
10.'

some

up

in

called)
that

inserted

score

my

alteration

corresponding

runs

REMINISCENCES

in

one

making

ten,

of

the

that

match,

innings.

Calendar,

(or
think

and

ones

was

made

or

the

10

CHAPTER

Ardennes

and

The

of

and

he

pleased

few

Rotterdam

did

numberless

meals

At

last

bread

we

call

got

to

if

Antwerp,

delightful days.
and

tea,

with

piles

which

went

on

of

We

where
We

we

then

lazy

went

canals,

silence,

in

members
re-

tour/

to

the

he

'

?)

tenets

reading

'

de

Cambridge,

at

through

of
and

wonder

its

was

Arnald

Misosophers

to

smoking

"

and

Tennyson

spent

poor

I started

true

steamers

Dutch

butter

An
"

ever

headquarters,

our

on

and

to

(I

Harwich

through

the

Buller

Lionel

when

the

still

is

from

expeditions
as

Dover-

obedient

very

Charley

"

holidays

of

sect

he

crossed

made

My

"

Holland

Bernard

were

dawdled

valet

the

on

strawberries

vocation,

long

whether

first

Camping

"

boar,

The
"

"

pleasantest

Stephen

we

on

smuggler.

and

what

him

slay

to

"

the

and

how

imagination

March

Lord's

the

Herbert

and

Norway

of

power

at

one

Grey

Hints
"

lordship's

His
"

"

the

him
"

Freya

"

fox,

"

elude

to

incident

during

The

venery

servant

and

battue

"

how

fjeld

wild-boar

"

foreign

ONE

the

In

Holidays

IV

and

doing
eating

bread-and-

cheese.

Diekirch,

delightful

spot
5

in

66

the

of

Luxemburg.

des

Ardennes,

named

Heck.

Grand-Duchy

called

the

Hotel

Anglomaniac

an

royally,for

five

rolls in

and

Lord

our

francs

of the

rather

like

bottle.

the

overlooking
watch

the

violinist,and

his

pianist,and

brother, who

and
a

was

charming

the

pipes

was

in

was

terrace

performed

trios

bottles,

host, who
who

and

tenpence

on

our

our

daughter,

'cello,played Beethoven

sit

to

us

coffee

There

in hock

smoke

while

his

included

mid-day meal,

used

we

Moselle,

sunset,

kept by

flavour, at about

in

was

entertained

bottled

country,

hotel

was

half-pastsix.

at

dinner

After

and
He

solid

Steinwein

The

day, which

rooms,

Mayor's banquet

pleasantwine

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the

upon

neighbouring

dining-room.
In the

morning

breakfast, and

before

which

After

for

excellent
with
a

(he

us

was

almost

with

old

the

pride his
He

mantle.

taught

me

not

to

he

only

own

was

only

other
to

we

would

His

in the

Holiness, and

how

place.
showed

throw

fly,but

He
us

short

fisherman,

enthusiastic
to

his

with

photograph in tightsand
an

come

accompanied by

were

Britons

some

us

procure

Coppinger, who,

Major

off.

yards

10

tions
organize fishingexpedi-

able

always

by swimming

about

was

wrould

was

Chamberlain

ourselves

amuse

Moselle

in the

bathe

fishing). Sometimes

trout

charming

wife, were

host

our

but

us,

to

Prussia, which

into

across

used

we

how

and
to

tie

of

sensation
of my

and

one,

on

fishing,all

of

had

songs
a

from

had

we

down

on

fact until

Englishmen
our

to

at

the

at

in

but

had

tramp

our

I didn't

railway-lineand
when

the

all

we

lay
of

stump

our

middle, and

Baron

in the

bourhood
neigh-

who, hearingthat there

hotel, gave

invited

us

to

wild-boar
meet

him

were

battue
and

in

other

neighbouringrailway-station.We

friendlylandlord,
in

home,

up

accepted with alacrity.We

made

whisky,

the

home-coming.

our

Diekirch

honour, and

sportsmen

slag,and

approaching

an

earlyon

hospitableold

of

had

by singingall

up

of

of

stuck

we

drank
gratefully
was

piece

We

loose

on

dusty highroad round

candle, which

There

Diekirch.

to

the tunnels.

left the

we

miles

three

the

ravenously

station-master

I discovered

nearly full

flask

within

and

dodge

to

long day's

Luckily old Major Coppinger

knew.

divulge the
were

the

ourselves

largeselection.

I had

fly

along the railway-

five hours

of

cheered

We
we

with

back

miles

lightus through

to

twice

train.

last train

sixteen

dreary trudge
or

the

obtained

We

through

wet

us

walk

to

of candle

once

heavenly

trout

occasion, after

one

missed

hungry, we

the

experienced

once

catching a two-pound

I remember

line.

67

manufacture.

own

We

BATTUE

WILD-BOAR

Liege,

to

if I

able, through

were

borrow
recollect

some

our

pin-fireguns,

rightly.We
5"2

were

instructed
ball

the

country,

in the

them

wear

number

patrie!

te-e-e-rre/

la

One
with

the

Panama

righthe
which

peeped

bottle

of

sheathed

chasse

au

me

habits

of the

tackle

him.

If you

round

cold

and

'

He

then

charge

the

in your

net

his
of

salad, and
belt

was

feet

this

was

as

made

'

direction, but

he
not

la
first

to

in which

me,

long.

my

me

manner

boar,' he told

; on

the

before

ever

him

not

Across

gun

his

enlightened

wild-boar, and

wound

his

about

had

I told

wore

from

to

chasse

monsieur

He

roll,some

Attached
de

did

buckles.

game-bag,
a

chap,

gaitershalfway

of

strap

chicken,

claret.

if

and
of

means

the

sanglier?J

experience.

sur

and

which

mouth.

coat,

roomy

couteau

asked

He

his

by

was

wore

ait

fat old

moustache,

velveteen

left shoulder

his

Mourir

mostly farmers,

were

of

hip, attached

the

as

qu'ily

picturesque was

most

the

on

us

up.

corners

hat,

met

le beau

sort

toothbrush

gray

reach

up

the

of

le

They

marvellously got

to

men,
fellow-sports-

Our

ditties
inspiriting

Cest

our

carry

compelled

dozen,

of

proceedings by singing

such

airs and

la

pour

of about

laws

the
to

were

us.

across

commenced

platform, and
national

bu*

way,

first barrel

to

permitted

not

ordinary

the

to

According

were

strapped

in the

shot

big

second.

we

in the

guns

with

load

to

and

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

68

will

the
to

turn

actually

HINTS

at

but

you,

le

to

you,

his

turn

Then

he

as

malin
see

but

with

apply

all very

he

you

shins

your

himself

will

He

reaches

Master

past
bien

est

pretend

not

will

suddenly

with

his tusk.

disembowelling you.

to

fine for monsieur

face.

II

vous.

rush

to

will

Boar

endeavour

to

turn

to
over

you

his snout.'
What

about

oui !

break

and

will

his

on

Ah
he

as

head

he

be

to

approaches gare

sanglier!

It will be
lie

will appear

He

you.

69

VENERY

FOREIGN

ON

done, then,' I inquired,'to

be

must

avoid

this fate ?'

That

'

old

hold

take
the

going

am

sportingauthority.

much

the

is what

much

and

nerve

his

ground,

boar

throws

breast

lunge in
stall, to

the

small

the

Monsieur

rear,

and

plunge

the shoulder
and
of the

his

must

hand.

him, monsieur

upon

sword

great

requiring

manoeuvre

hunting-knifein

direction

the

you,'repliedmy

composure.

justbehind

his

drew

'It is

himself

to

step

one

his

tell

to

made

!'

And

and
the

of

into
he

impressive

an

newspaper

admiration

must

his blade

thus

"

As

tobacco
old

lady

presidingthereat.
When

by

the

reached

we

Baron,

who

our

welcomed

his

nephew,

less

picturesquelythan

quite

after

the

felt hats, black

young

their

They
farmer

fashion.

coats,

we

were

and
cordially,

us

Vicomte.

English
melton

destination

huge

were

nczuds

by

dressed

guests, yet

They

met

wore

not

stiff

of
flottants

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

70

and

bird's-eyepattern,

There

spats.

keen, dressed
a

had

He

de

un

misdirected
voila

him

zeal,

'

should

slay

to

'

instead
he

and

Lowther

bon

that

L6on

looked

vaut

in

little

horn
had

the

which

to

that

us

price of
to

hidden,
the

note

the

English

the

through

ran

sounded

huntsman

announced

well

in

only couple

proceeded

corner,

huge

near

forest.
his

upon

and

beaters

the

dogs

started.
It

placed in

was

"

two

told

then

of accidents, and

pig

attaquer,

pour

were

were

we

of

The

francs/

cent

bridle-path that

Presently

tres

est

However,

case

covert.

II

fit of

sheep

toy

all workmanlike

at

otter-hounds.

each,

'

cally
practi-

indicated

Arcade.

par

chance, in

dog

his

malheur,

case,

white, woolly dog, exactly like

"

with

of six

he very

started

we

each, in

of

Leon, par exemple

celui-la

very

about

hung

toy,

nondescriptpack

before

and

messieurs

ces

child's

the value

us

fellow,

ordinary peasant'sblouse,

an

with

eighthounds,
told

'

in

fine

very

huntsman

the

piqueur,
a

was

horn, like

curved

neck.
or

He

head-keeper.

or

the

also

was

into leather

tucked

trousers

was

sudden

lovely day

I beheld

sharper than
tread

of

the

mine, had
beater.

sunshine, within

preening

his

and

tiny

beautiful

fox's

heard,
He

couple

no

cub

whose

All of
ears,

far

doubt, the distant

strutted
of

spot.

past

me

in the

yards, sniffingthe air,

whiskers, beaming

with

life and

joy

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

72

which

had

its life

forth

pouring

the furious

caught sightof

we

It

was

looked

who

snorting anathema
He

his

from

his

rescue.

luncheon

the

coming
At
the

of

of

to

hour

for

of

each

killed,the dead

the

most

glorioustrophy.

greatest

told

party,

of

failed

to

had
had

he

us

forty yards

take

engrossed

in

observing the

entirelyforgot
was

he
him

not

he

was

to

have

good deal, and

pigs

that, of
had

the

such

in

He

of it.

and

his wives

thirty
held

friend became

so

my

of

there

as

standing ; they

demeanour

to

the

conduct

and

slay them,

his

piece.

good

purpose

and

him

to

We

he

that

forest

it occurred

exploded
to

hero

regarded

glade within

was

that

until luncheon

ought
a

he

with

boar

rightfulinhabitants

these

the
small

advantage

defamille,and

conseil

hurried

of

of where

for

distinguishinghimself

offspringgathered together in
or

cheek

had

Holland

huge

seen

of

discovered

We

numbered,
out-

tears

was

three

or

snout.

alighted

either

on

was

was

into

baby-fox was

Bernard

opportunity
but

venery,

us

although two

been

entire

he

saw

vulpecidalVicomte

had

the

sucking-pig,
frog,and

burst

vantage,

kissed

gratitude,and

stampede.

portly Belgian shikaree

our

coign

he

when

away

and

of this

his little upturned

through

scampered

last of all

wild

or

was

And

larger than

much

not

cause

marcassin,

diminutive

and

ascent

turf.

the

to

on

his

in

damaged

got

it

that
rallied

that when

73

NORWAY

nearly brought about

very

him

that he

fire

must

his post, gun

minutes

heard

something
the

cried

chasse, sacr"

later

the

the

turned

scale

Another

Grey

and

of free

to

and

and

all kinds

camping

We

of

to

"

those

days

form

of
for

us

pots and

pans

Arnald
in

Norway

who

de

pursuit

the

last year

nowadays

I believe

license

expensive

an

with

setters

la

Holland

with

went

1877, I think

out

economical

Scotch

for

in

fait

day, a great pig

difficulties about

are

But

two

that country

take

c^a

kilos.

in

was

que

qu'on

Bernard

day

the

vacation

shooting in

dogs.

c^a

Whitbread

It

fancy,there

simple

150

Howard

it is necessary

of

at

long

of reindeer.

of

beast

biggest

perforated by

pipe P
in the

on

seen

bush, and

Qu'est-ce

comme

pas

d'une

nom

However,
slew

n'est

been

bullet.

unerring

few

1'AnglaisP

behind

had

had

He

Monsieur

$a,

hat, which

his

Ce

?
signifie

Ah

to

went

quick succession,

quarter.

leaping from

Baron,

friend's

my

he

and

underwood,

reports, in

'

told

had

foreignobject he might

any

two

move.

holding up

enthusiasm

We

tragedy.

Holland's

Bernard

from

his

covert

hand, alert for slaughter. In

in

we

at

in the

perceivemoving

another

replaced in

were

we

it

the
was

also,

importation
a

perfectly

holiday.

We

the

shooting,

and

ryper

took

paraphernalia

out.

started

from

Hull

on

board

the

old

Tasso.

RANDOM

74

There

was

REMINISCENCES

especiallyattached
an

sons

so

that

in

her

accordinglyput
her

up,

her

beam,

roll.

and

the

fjord

and

from

there

letter,Ole
admirers

presented

our

we

proceeded

of

St.

They

came

proposed
back

conducted

us

about

twenty

rocks

without

been

in

the

in the

loch, and
are

and

at

for

to

our

miles
a

to

us

the

his

as

the

who
Dean

Aursho

took
the

to

headquarters.

couple
We

of

days

had

and
walk

to

absolutely bare

across

last

we

during
;

of

saw

the

but

four

have
of

patch

slate-coloured
or

five

huts.

by

summer

they

gray

might

we

presentlya

littlecluster

families

engaged by

to

our

met

were

financier

to

pony

destination.

At

inhabited

Aak,

to

who
gillie,

make

distance, and

their

of

in

up

pronounced

sign of vegetation;

moon.

last

'

Ole

we

had

we

name

by

steamer

thirty-five
English

Paul's),and
on

the

of

evening

Communion-plate

heavy luggage
we

These

of

set

Chapter

saeter

green

the

pronounce

for

dispositionto

There

long

too

was

had

breaking

took

about

(the

Svanemyr

of

we

Molmern.

to

kept

instead

the

Norwegian stalker,whom

the

and

drove

we

in carioles

miles

whence

Ness,

to

day

next

be

should

hilarious
in

left

company

she

why

was

and

the

age
her

to

was

she

as

old

Molde

The

day.

particularboat,

displayed a

reached

We

fourth

by

that that

and

originalWilson

long

ends

new

the

that

to

his

annuity to

running, and

that

legend

appear

herds
cow-

to

be

ON

CAMPING

of

course,

of

the

and

for

about

stroll

to

high

too

were

plenty

wives

of

trout

that these

Palmers
be

to

if

or,

and
able

to

even

had

brought

salmon-flies,out
some

flashylittlebaits
the

deceived

always

were

trout

in addition

larder

was

able
to

our

full of game

cook

grumbled

to

which

his

the

if I did

"

to

were

not

appear
of

that

art,

they

anything

book

petizing
ap-

have

absolutely

breakfast

off

porridge.

Also

at

fatal

events

lengths.

freshly-killed
soon

we

after awhile
'

fashion

all

wild-duck, and

them

gaudy

to

curiosityto

ryper,

of

de

able

but

trout,

give

not

taught
of

and

Duns

works

old

an

may

party, and
not

delicate

we

Scandinavian

frequently excited
We

him

which

of

did

up

fortunately,Arnald

But,
with

educated

Street

images

was

dismay

our

been

they

were

killed

to

been

not

the

be

to

Nature.

in

Grey

had

they did, they

intended

were

these

see

there

ever

found

Coch-y-Bondhus

and,

bathed.

we

not

their

loch

the

of

we

Jermyn

to

we

with

with

sisters

as

biggest

flies"

London-made

fire,and

salmon, but

fish had

barbarous

possession

cowherds

the

us

we

matter

beef, ship'sbiscuit,

edge

for

But

pounds.

and

at

up

the

I made

the

surprise,gaze

grave

We

to

took

corned

their

as

We

morning

Every

knitting,used
with

us.

soup,

pipes, and

their

to

off tinned

whisky.

is made,

room

arrivals.

new

allotted

hut

supped

to

and

property,

common

75

DOVERFJELD

THE

courses.'

got

venison.

the

others
I think

76

RANDOM

the

elaborate

most

consisted
of

of

some

roof.

got

slab

pair with

him

and

had

like

tail.

it

left Aursho
her

master

couple of

and

up

build

Presently we
wanted
should
seen.

to

cairn

We

gillieand

behind

killed

pony

consult

the
the

turned

stalker
little

back,

beast

home

for

bit of
as

man

and

to

was

we

carrying a

remainder,

crossing a

were

take, but

or

the

sheep.

to

in front of us,

was

so

clever

very

midnight,and

then, carry

over

and

returning from

Freya

we

kind

ears

were

past

"

(when
and

was

yards

there

the

send

a.m.

50

haunches

him

would

at

was

Freya,

was

also broken

was

and
"

cut

had

we

called

She

dog.

She

she

long day's stalking

to

and

rather

when

delightful
dog

Whitbread

when

and

(I

skinned

was

long, pointed,mobile

I believe

tracker, and

had

in the
diver

he

glad

were

bushy
tightly-curled,

at

twenty-four hours,

Esquimaux

an

blue-gray with

Once,

on).

stuffing,but

We

hole

throats

for

onion

Svanemyr

something
of

all

him.

finished
Ole

with

all that.

fishy for

venison,

red-throated

red

him

under

stone

them

their

buried

him

stuffed

of

dash

"

cooked

once

with

(done

girdle-cakesof rye-meal

on

them

served

ever

oatmeal),hashed

coarse

and

ryper,

wood-fire

dinner

broth, grilledtrout

and

onion

roast

REMINISCENCES

next

had

we

portion,

which

we

morning).

glacier,and
the

direction

nowhere

presently

to

came

we

we

be
to

was

haunches

the

where

All

answer.

visible

the

in

stood, where

draw

truth
into

imagination,we
deduction,'

Freya,

to

far

We

him,

and

the

on

catch

to

I had

cooking, and
reindeer
had

to

got

after

say,

little

board

tall,well-set-up man
in

well-cut

the

mainder
re-

and

fjord steamer
with

back

hurry

of

me

of my

camped
en-

to

Tasso.

traces

with

friends

my

growth,

thirty hours'

on

clad

leave

to

bockers
knicker-

my

butchery

huge

and
rifle-case,

last stage

about
the

with

I carried

the

out

had

of six weeks'

get him

along

the homeward-bound

venison,

slipped

stained

were

had

though nothinghad happened.

Doverfjeld,

beard

the

fallen in and

to

strode

of

either

as

month

had

managed

would

drift,and

guide

snow

he

With

spot.

Powell

the

our

fine

fissure.

of the way

Molde

the

and

restore

After

that

us

we

utterlyunable

Baden-

furiouslyat

upon

the

that
were

as

where

to

than
intelligent

more

scratch

to

crevasse,

filled up
and

of

dawned
a

plainly

haunches, there

the

from

away

no

startling

the

hillside

the

deposited

leading

'

began

us,

received

made

we

up

had

any

until

say,

he

lack

British

sudden

there

but

snow,

shouted, but

We

snow

track

no

to

of

the

upon

that, although his footstepswere

observation

was

Ole.

sign of

no

lay

77

SNOW

THE

IN

ACCIDENT

AN

"

cariole

small
'

of
I

bag.
that

drive

bound

of

haunch

leather

journey

and

for

is
I

to

was

Molde.

side-whiskers,

pepper-and-salt suit

surmounted

78

RANDOM

by

of

hard

square

accosted

taking

Is

isn't/ I
got

rubbed

it

kindly.
get

we

want

of

me

gave

'He's

answered.

You've

I nodded.
valet
He's

went

'

but

when

Always
on

to

lordship,with

my

new

me

whom,
Mr.

friend's

descriptionof
and

know.

the

about

sort

indeed,' I
he

'Earl

"

dare

it

of

stories

(that I

went

household.

to

on

The

butler

tartar.

upstairs,
he

about

his

was

quainted.
ac-

found

give

chef
'

was

the

And

happened,

so

?'

say

leetle bit

Berryman

the

he's

his health.'

number

name)

drunken,

'What

chap

sorts

Just

presently asked

him,

of

out

you

flask,

my

right at times,' proceeded

he's

Then

of

when

it up

in

un,' said

rum

worritin'

tell

I had

old

heard
all

He's

'

eccentric, you

is.

proceeded

draught/

tobacco.

good

very

the

got ?' he

you

'Mine's

Wallsend.

whisky
fill of

have

governor

me.

he

Scotch

you've

Midships

it'll get

he

you've

see

hang

boat.

English

?' he

to

Fine

'

'No,

I suppose

pepper

where

you

hang it, where

he
a

salt and

the

some

board?'

there.

of

own

affably.

with

servant

his

of

commenced

venison

board

on

member

on

and

compliment

reply truthfully.

to

I'll show

him

gave

humble
he

the

me

governor

of

over

'

to

and

able

was

paid

your

haunch

be

MorninY

mornin'.

obviously the great

He

to
'

hat, strolled leisurely

up

was

man.

me

calling.

felt

He

me.

great

REMINISCENCES

was

was

me

honest
dis-

terrible

RANDOM

80

to

with

added

contain

in
hint

of the

One
called

was
'

handy

had

Their

conceivable

provisions,a libraryof
a

wheel

It

the

presently,as
sleepy

one

us

that

we

had

one

some

an

the

in

kind

Glen-

of

wine

and
even

in

train

and

August,
dawdled

from

another, it occurred

to

to

refreshing. But although

lacking

was

alert eye

we

saw

stop
his

gave

the order

with

any

idea

of

out

'Just get

station

of

out

Viner, who

inquiring head

window.

just moving

were

looked
of

at

?' I

that my

to

at

his

jug,

every

amuse

he

slowly

my

of

station

poked

at
'

carriage
the

Very
his

would

next

good,
hat.

companions

faithful retainer

out

caught

you,

touched

to

and

third-class

will

ice,

vessel

no

window,

exclaimed.

lips reply,as
more

had

we

"

We

it in.

sir/ I

sion
occa-

lemons, sugar,
wine, soda-water, liqueurs,

Kingussie ;
the

one

magazines,

afternoon

be

ordinarily
extra-

beguile the journey.

Highland

would

cup

man

carriagecontained

and

to

little station

essential

make

hot

baking

was

books

/'

with

hampers

"

petits chevaux

of

On

forest

saloon

luxury

was

Inverness

to

to

the Earl

resourceful.

and

district.

morriston

seemed

had

ever

mutton,

ex-hussar, and

an

hostess, who

and

every

travelling
up

was

helping of

whisper, which

servants

shoulder

my

'

He

Viner.
'

host

best

second

over

pope's-eyes/ For

'

to

as

for

earnest

an

leant

steward

asked

plate,and

then

old

The

carve.

REMINISCENCES

than
under-

such

take
of

apparentlyforlorn hope

an

wassail-bowl

think

taken

What

jug

How

much

But

soldier

am

servants

'

their

what

"

if the result is

that is

"

and

minutes
few

to

or

drowsy

idiot

What

an

might

have

method

jug.

'

But
white

pressing his

up,

apologizedfor

of his entry, and

him
'

afterwards

how

the

to

he

contrived

Well, sir/ he replied, I knew

I

bolted

in

"

saw

there

was

cottage close
an

old

He
he

jug

in his

his

head,
then

corridor.

by

lady

the

get the

to

I hadn't

'

time.

the unceremonious

retired
had

'

window,

our

"

again.

moment

to

on

full

gave
off

bedroom
hat

at

three

muttered.
that

at

to

hour

an

locomotive

is !' I

man

but

at

only waited

the

to

jump

going

miles

We

not

sworn

Viner

was

sir ?

stopping-

next

saw

ten

harlequin leap through

picked himself
asked

that

enormous

after

hand, and,

be

started
reluctantly

known

reappeared,an

took

about

then

and

snorts

"

train

station.

and

so,

was

the

at

say,

of the

out

tear

it

carriagewhile

of his

speed

I think

get

forth.

so

theirs

tell them, and

the

to

Theirs

'

up

want,

you

why,

At
unsatisfactory.

"

it,sir ?' and

reason

masters

place Kincraig
out

to

order

my

am

different.

are

not

do

jug

for

give

to

reply,theirs

make

of

sort

I don't

presentlycome

that

have

have

purchase

station.

said, Beg pardon, sir,but where

and

would

servant

the

as

railway-

Scotch

else he would

or
seriously,

do

at

civilian

81

SERVANT

OBEDIENT

MY

much
over-

station

in the
6

settin'-

but

room,

the
a

it you

in

was

I spent
Edward

host

my

two

us,

and

of

the

others

we

window.

remembered

'

had

into

it and

do

hope

put in the

to

goodness

stowed

found

our

into

delicious

boots, thawed

shins, and
into

soon

turned

glorioussummer.

his

hauled
The

our

to

meet

glass

!' exclaimed

foot.

'

Thank

sure

enough

two

heavy

was

trivances
con-

gratefully

permeated

winter

we

instantaneous.

icy feet,mulled
all the

our

were

the

line and

effect

warmth

we

sent

foot-warmers

seats

of

goodness they've

to

the

feet upon.

Immediately
our

we

end

and

been

right ;' and

under

which
rested

all

it's

third-class

pulled up

host, reconnoitring with

our

bitterly

was

the

dark

pitch

was

trooped

we

It

with

December

one

to

got

private omnibus

I travelled

unupholstered

an

time
it

railway journey
frozen.

in

especially

are

strikinginstance

Lavington.

the

carriage. By

They
by

three

or

were

we

holidays with

imagination.

Market

to

cold, and

the

of

I took

but

jug, sir.'

for the

memory

my

upon

and

evening

window

in Wiltshire.

Bouverie

power

sir,my
liberty,

Christmas
delightful

some

impressed
of the

hurry

it

in time, sir.

just

through the

in like that

her

basin, chucked

think

ladyship didn't

her

comin'

back

got

collared

bedroom,

in the

standin'

was

bob, and

of

couple

past her into her

ran

that

ewer

hope

of

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

82

of

the

soles

our

frozen

our

bodies

FORCE

THE

What

'

it ! this is almost

hang

exclaimed
fellows
The

if

mind

much

too

I'm

have

we

by

the

extremely

Edward

bit

Yes, but,

good thingP

Do

'

you

of window

down

and

breathed

in

warm

keen

we

?'

bodies, we

our

night air blowing in

the

as

hall

with

Vincent

young

on

turned

that

out

the

butler

being

the manor-house.

at

the

feet

cosily resting our

only
he

and

foot-warmers

!'

which

objectson

of

send
must

It then

had

we

two

were

Denis

'

could

omnibus,

the

off without

drive

the

lightluggage was

our

driving the ladies,and

out

needs

sir/ murmured

sorry,

Bouverie

brought into

so

'

foot-

faces.

our

was

of

accordinglylowered,

felt refreshed

to

had

have

to

reflected.

we

freely. Thoroughly

'

83

perspiring traveller.

one

glasswas

more

to

train P

the

in

warmers

not

were

we

asses

IMAGINATION

OF

been

our

own

gun-cases.
The
among

name

of

many

delightfulmemories,

The

had

attraction

to

in

place in

take
Pont

in the

for

the

what

has

reminds
of

me,

rackets

the

of the old
there

happened
in

that

twenty-six

to

him

loose white

It used

Princes

and
which

the rackets.

was

was

about

gallery,clad

leaning over

me

court

It

Street.

Charley Buller,
wonder

Bouverie

only inter-Universitycontest

tennis.
any

Edward

'

Club

first

years

ago

?).

now

He

saw

(I
was

dressing-gown,

balustrade, acting as

judge.
6"2

He

84

RANDOM

was

REMINISCENCES

hero

typicalOuida

effeminate

beauty

clever
extraordinarily
one

of her

and

no

he

and

"

writer

else, would

of athletic

and

that
occasionally
justified

by behaving exactly as

specialand

own

one

mixture

"

particularguardsmen,

have

behaved

similar

in

circumstances.

Once,

Duller

Lord's, Charley

at

official

capacity to

certain

professional cricketer,

Bates.
off

to

Bates

several

against

his

brooded,

conclusion

the
Buller

which

Accordingly, he
his

decision

and

progress,

that

searched
was

presently

Lock,

leaning

talking to

over

had

grievance

redress.

cricket-ground for

found

in

match

the

the

Poole

masterpiecesby

dazzling Duchess,

just

magic

in

fascinating

emblazoned

an

placed there by

been

he

of

presently

fashionable

he

slunk

then

He

call

will

we

immediate

some

accompaniment

Lord's

dressed
Captain faultlessly

had

the

demanded

There

enemy.

and

whom

reprimand,

to

in

prejudicialto

glassesof brandy-and-water.
to

came

accepted

and

bar

give

had

barouche,

though

as

hand

he

of Ouida

herself.

sulky cricketer

The
a

heaving breast,

him

in

hard

as

the
he

most

knew

then

took

obvious

him
a

and

for

short

with

moment

run,

and

kicked

insultingmanner

as

how.

Charley Buller,with
merely glanced

eyed

over

the
his

most

perfectself-restraint,

shoulder

to

see

who

his

assailant

the

to

way

Send

picked

when

professionalwas

that

and

the

off with

he

to

an

he

three

remained

him

took

with

longer,

sent

hospital,where

the

him

said

cricket-stump as

arrived, he

thrashed
no

?' he

you

up

Bates

thrash

could

will

me,

he

collar and

he

his

made

then

and

companion,

to

and

And

spoke.

bowed

conversation,

pavilion.
Bates

attendant,

the

fair

his

smilinglyto

his

concluded

was,

85

STRAWBERRIES

MARCH

until

stump

unfortunate
ribs

broken

to

for five

inmate

an

by

weeks.
fair

obdurate

An

Buller

Charley

of

basket

swain

But

despair.

present
laden

As

the aid of the

by

himself

with

able

was

chip

wool
1

and

blue

Is madame

at

home

I'll inquire,sir/ said

Do,

say

strawberries/ said
a

boudoir

to

in

about

which
a

of
of

depths

week

bed

to

lady's bower,
twelve

had

cost

of

ducal

winds

about

foliage,

by layers

of

paper.

'

and

the

her

sapientMr. Solomon,

March

the

from

in

see

month

containing about

basket

sovereign each, nestlingin

screened

bring
the

was

hard-hearted

the

at

pale,seed-speckled berries
and

it

to

ever

should

plunged

was

Piccadilly,he

of

he

unless

strawberries.

her

March,

again

refused

once

one

wait.

inquired the proud gallant.

the

Captain
the

servant.

has

Buller

visitor,as

he

was

brought
shown

the
into

86

surprisedshe'll

How

he
*

stripped the

They

She

them,
fit to

eat

flavour
.

was

was

white

very

rather

They're

distinctive

absent

Lionel
senior

to

my

wore

was

by

brothers.

it

But

that
!

better

was

been

far the

the

as

over

kind

becoming

berry.
straw-

or

and

two

years
that.

than

left hand
the

of

office.

dawn-golden times';
staircase

part of my

seemed
a

court,

same

more

last

more

the

'

ing
throw-

Hallam

on

"

of

act

one

was

the

room,

the

of

course,

old

then

Hallam

as

latter

in the

on

were

Tennyson
more

the

to

the

both

rooms

Alfred's

been

above, and

of

all !

the

stalk

with

other, of

Hallam's

to

father's had

Lionel

name

the

me,

had

floor

two

The

entrance-gate

They

the

window

Tennyson.

I succeeded
the

see.

one

into

in

was

Cambridge

at

was

Charles

the

of

out

and

but they've no
refreshing,

sailed

lovely hostess

minded

and

sweet

at

they're

flavour.'

his

As

get

one

taste

That

one.

to

they'vereallyany

taste

any

are

that.

from

I've taken

suppose
I'll just

I think

without
Practically

coverings.

them, whether

on

I don't

all.

at

trouble

the

bent

so

not.

or

its

getting away

no

pleased at

she

as

of

basket

friend, as

our

but they
inviting,
particularly

There's

be

must

be !'reflected

precious

look

don't

strawberries.

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

on

tutor's suite.

companionable
to

me

to

of levee-dress
easy

the

jacket.

wear

of the
the

Lionel

story

88

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

destination,owing

to

officers

there, in

that

authorities

regular

'

were

few

'

the

discreet

they proposed

willin'
'

part with

to

I don't

mind

Lionel.
1

'

Don't

sailor.
boxes.

'em

can

miss

It's the
You

of

past
to

was

ports, and

apiece

of

we're

are,

hundred/

hundred,' said
?'

chance, guv'ner,'urged the

of

walk
and

the

we

call for them

chance

can

And

couple

They segars,'

'

sovereign a

"

this

to-morrow

bargain.

at

as

was

the

do

to

shillin'

pushed

buying

Where
you

'

shop

'is worth

Yet,

money.

parcels.

the

used

of

in different

customers

smuggler,

anyone's

beach

coast-guards (he

with

what

revenue

Wight,

The

alert.

get rid of their stuff in small

said

Isle of

the

graphic adjective in place

and
participle),
find

the

on

infested

but

vulgar

even

the

vigilanceof

the

into
make

longer

'Ave

lifetime.

terbaccernist's

any

profit

""o

keeps 'em,

yer

twenty

on

the

yer
more

they'llmatoor.'
last young

At
invest

crime

boat.
a

twelve

man

he, had
the

o' the

world,

You'll

Purvis.
Tell 'im
and

to

keep

make
a

the

Mary
a

leave
a

course

look-out

prevailed upon

whose

'

is

to

Anne^

Tom

you

can

man

'is 'ard

accomplice

charter

the

Purvis.
trust,

about

for the Brambles

for

to

you've

'Wot

"10.

man

become,

There's

was

for

boxes

do, sir,' said

to

got
in

in

Tennyson

Harry

nine

small
'E's

is Tom
o'clock.

Lightship
Paulet,

of

LANDING

Falmouth.

"

if you

Then,

her

over

port bow,

blowin*

from

up

all's serene,

we'll

yer, and
Tom
He

Purvis

said

he

'

didn't

half

conscience.'

undertake

it for

night,and
late

to

terrible

feeble
the
*

the

voice

wherry

what

it
'

came,

and

like

twelve

Anne

was

was

when

boxes

Paulet
the

ring

soon

Freshwater

forgedstill further

before

while

into her

of

the

reply

from

hand

the

with

out,

Harry

The

and

wind

the

over

him.

iniquitouscourse

of

interest,

retort

the

bottom

up

lowered

was

the

with

brought

running

Bay,

to

by
Anne

it

when

blowin'

were

it seemed

Mary

from

to

pleasant
un-

very

overtaken

was

no

went

last

at

the

contrived

had

he

It

job.

And

weather

he

cedarwood

Mary

It

Harry

arose

talkingover.

smuggler could only

amateur

as

gold, mind

consented

when

outside.'

dirty

sovereigns

into

that

However,

moan.

he

inquired,with

Some

the

Lionel

poor

in

of

midway,

of the

lee

indeed

was

west,' the

ten

But

sea-sickness, and

under

came

back,

turn

weather

you'llknow

deal

like

about

'backer.'

sovereign.

out

for the

dirty

money,

required a good

againsthis

too

the

slingover

sing

Then

Then

the

up

?"

Some

"

west."

you'll'and

lighthangin

alongsideand

'ear

the

89

white

it like outside

countersign you'll

'

STUFF

sees

come

wot's

Say, matey,

"

THE

the
back

Paulet
towards

H amble.
When

Lionel

came

to

examine

his

bargain in

the

90

himself

the

of

out

Square,

hundred

the

him

so

blossomed

following

suggestion
trader

highly
forth

Sunday.

from

o'

into

new

Tom

suit

is.

8d.

he

Purvis,

Paulet,
to

who

the

London,

about

as

Havana

man

of

Harry

make

to

'

as

for

the

of

End

worth

and

As

knowledge

illicit

East

what,

knows

any

the

in

found

manufactured

cigars

1,200

wholesale.

all

he

of

he

Farringford,

at

possessor

goodness

denied

be

bedroom

Wellclose

near

had

his

of

privacy

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

could

who

esteemed

world/

of

nor

But

clothes

he

the

CHAPTER

'

the

Adopting
then

stage

and

Sir

now

William

name'

The

Frank

Marshall

IT

the

upon

she

Samuel

to

and
of

all

kinds

counselled

get

objection
were

Ai'de

doing
of

to

of

no

to

hard

this

stock

recommended

rehearsal

at

don't

mind

my

least,

to

think

go

it

was

thrown

have

out

encouragement.

income

Bar.
Mrs.

quarters.
a

work

excellent

companies
me,

stock
and

'eating
Herbert

to

felt

than

vaguely,

Wigan

that

to

as

the

only
there

Hamilton

Mr.

to

any

advice

so

being

ought

had

Alfred

experience,

join.

sought

company

scheme

an

Bouverie,

but

sooner

the

join

me

was

Edward

others

at

to

with

Temple

Inner

alone

Vanity

not

"

and

an

me

plenty

Bancrofts

up

Lehmann,

earn

prospect

made

at

me

the

at

Whitbread,

try

in

of

Rudolph

Stephen,

stage-

salad.

could.

may

word

dinners'

my

if

of

'

"

prompted

although
occasional

that

1879

stage

that

Vanity
"

in

early

was

maker

"

"

"

"

As

"

The

fever
A

engagement

Theatre

Haymarket

"

calling

Typhoid

"

pantomime

"

The
"

"

Jenner

advice

Expert

"

Discomforts

'Touring'

"

'

profession

as

'

study

in

92

RANDOM

Paris.'

REMINISCENCES

Arthur

nothing
My

Cecil

of the

Club

who

to

husband).

bade

host

My

made

first stage

my

at

company

Palace,

luncheon

extol

few

for

which

received

scientiously
con-

histrionic

the Alexandra

salary

his

and

Kelly

at

afterwards

days
with

appearance

my

more

latent

my

morning performance

the

at

witnessed

never

able, all the

to

friend

Kelly (Ellen Terry's

had

result that

the

old

my

to

me

was

perhaps,
with
ability,

was

Charles

meet

efforts, and

amateur

do

to

kind.

Kemble,

Garrick

strongly

me

practicaladviser

most

Henry

urged

of

ten

shillings.
the

I think

on

was,

to

go

wanted

to

begin

achieved
the

the

on

to

was

to

learn.

got
The

who

actors

the

over

money

first

they

generally money
while

some

and
less

so,

there

were

for

invested

they

had

one

for

always a

of those

days

theatre

to

the

of

those

days

who

names,

had

personal prominence.
the

in
earned

their

business

to

their

comfort, and

certain

was

by acting.

kind
extraordinarily

solicitous
was

zeal

I had

once.

craft which

theatre

their

before, I

and

managers

made

as

Cambridge,

institution

the

had

at

only

the

And

of

Most

to-day.

were

the

be

to

said

As

livingat

my

different
essentially

an

wise, situated

was

scholarlydistinction

no

paid

stage.

earn

stage appeared

was

of

whole

sympathy

And
ploye's
em-

others
between

MANAGERS

GENEROUS

and

manager

actor

and

syndicate.
for

I remember,
to

owing
1

'

Ours

the

at

by

kind

time, and

times

in

word

'

the

word

the

part.

had

of

Conquer,' in

both

had

and

Macleane

castle in the

later, the
week's

trouble

place.
"

I doubt

except
with

paid

the

the
same

been

and

all

Robertson

old

Prince

of

special terms,

of

for
I

to

there

'

She

no

was

Stoops

to

Pinero

days

the

I had

expense

in

if any

other

they

me

been

had

management
"

would

week

ordinary

an

but

away,

as

money,
been

findingpeople to

Cartes

Hard-

back

matinee

extra

acting and

play old

came

only paid

six

D'Oyly

Forbes

the

At

usuallyplayed.

When

me

several

results.

at

member
re-

substituted

afternoon

sent

not

the

not

part in the first piece,and

be

to

comedy.

and

play my

had

I had

'

Lesson

could

the

"

overtaken

recurs

he

at

part

of which

salaryfor

though
no

'

Sergeant Jones.

disastrous

Bancrofts

addition

believe

engaged

playing

were

which

Saturday

on

performance

Jack

'

I had
Theatre

place,was

my

twins

the

be

to

study

the

following night

Then

to

We

aphasia, and

played

Wales's) had
doubt.

'

when

market

Hay

was

took

with

the

for

(who

'

kittens

events,

alcoholic

of

occasion

the

at

be between

never

bereavement.

understudy, who

My

in

bill

domestic

to

can

instance, an

the

of

out

go

there

which

actor

93

to

put
take

my

in London
have

extraordinarygenerosity,and

acted
I

am

94

RANDOM

that

certain

time
It

'

'

for
stocks

evil

realized

gents

that

gambling

opportunitiesfor
that

game

show

his

with

young

actor

infatuated

deference
who

theatrical

in

lawn

n'est

Ce

whiskers.

his

the

expert and
the

de

It

best.

candle

the

the

always

'

the
*

will
of

never
'

to

he

is

bound
weather-

ping-pong.'
mais

c'est

imagines

hamper

the

experience,but
off second

comes

vantage

stick
candle-

financier

novice

table

the

by

which

guerre,

difference

player

ingenuous

find

in

The

and

and

at

finds
la

meme

balance

longer

outlawed

player

of

is

to

The

smallness

knowing

more

wants

absolument

pas

magnifique tout
that

Othello

speculation what

tennis

no

the

play

of

bigger

is welcomed

the

and

the

Street, he

place

to

of

delightby

bilities
possi-

all kinds

presents

dares

who

City

mines

by

gamester

to

peer

the

similar

variations

and

wants

when

offer

venture

in Broad

in which

finds

farthingfor

afforded

those

to

the

young

singeing

me

actors

theatres

miniature

when

nose

hailed

for

day

that theatrical

paid

syndicate

away.

an

was

present-day

have

would
was

the

of

none

managements
the

REMINISCENCES

him

then

and

game.
The

syndicate

or
feelings

for

those

Missing

manager

no

cares

comfort

of the

actors

in

the

miners

who

are

of

Diamond

Competition

in

one

for

more

his

employ

engaged
of

his

the
than
in

mines.

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

96

fellows.

Not

however,

for

notorious

men

in

that
the
;

warnings

bogus
the

but

desperate a plight that

so

with

engage

might

him

turn

and

rogue,

the

But

his

of

certain
practically

in

Friday morning
night's

'

try and

to
'

treasury

London

success

actor

the

was

pale-faced

hansom-cab

raise

those

in

was

knowingly

chance

salary,and

tearing Citywards

manager

that

often

was

would

he

hope

honest.

of work

out

use,

generally

were

managers

actor

much

of

were

on

the

for

enough
an

unfamiliar

of

1879

days

sight.
I

started

Kelly

Charles

faithful old
the

friend
the

of

rest

disillusions
had
a

in

Shanter.

As

Our

another

soon

as

of

At

stations

over

it.

time

than

was

the

back

they

became

with

us

train

wore

travelled
friends
with

for

"

they spread
knees

run

to

and

quarrelling

stopped

we

and

Tam-o'-

knitted

their
'

nap

but

'

new

started

over

'

my

company

smoking-cap

where

necessary

was

of the

my

purple

playing penny

commenced

so

straw-hat, and

variably
in-

were

leadingman

'

another

with

sympathetic. My

bulk

leopard-skinrug

imitation

came

embroidered

green

yellow tassel,

an

The

and

me,

less

were

battered

slippers;

carpet

donned

to

who

third-class.
and

frock-coat

They

Terry.

Kemble,

troupe

autumn

kind

and

began early.

travel

to

Ellen

and

charming

the

in

tour

on

the

for

more

bar

appallinglyplayful; they

and

would

SLANG

CIRCUS

hurl old

the

jestsat
with

year's Nuneaton
seen

without

Scotland

with

reel

Hoo's

'

the

the

last

never

border

into

performing

ing,
exclaim-

him, and

the

to

sengers
pas-

platform,
generally

round

ye ?'

wi'

a'

have

comedians

on

railway-rugtwisted

from
pleasantries

cross

of the

one

pelt passing

And

company

Scotch

imitation

an

of stale

pantomime.

theatrical

any

porters, and

shower

97

station

nearest

official.

themselves, the

Amongst

fellow-comedians
their

mostly about
It

which

certain

which

I have

circles.
the

theatre

digs

'

salaries
for

of

'

was

When

inscrutable

term

remember

Merchant

the end

of

of

'

one

multee

cattiva]

time

ghost walk

?'

all these

whom

there

was

each

no

called

were

What

'

of

denaree?

Lodgings
the

theatrical

the manager

nantee

reason,

strange
no

are

And,
demalions,
tatter-

of

atom

other

by

the

of

the

laddie/

day,

Venice/

of his Casket

'

casa);

lost, invariablyaddressed

affectionate

lowest
'

screw.'

does

romantic.

all actors, but

to

meant

'

and

was

strange jargon

'

(motto cattivo)
;

paid ?'

the

in

casa

della

between

heard

the

(uomo

salary

some

love

attribute

(niente dinaro).

money'
'

'

bad*

'very

only

that

my

and

modest,

triumphs,histrionic

newspapers

Omee

'

from

interspersedwith

often

was

far

was

of

conversation

the

scene

at

rehearsal

Bassanio
with

advanced

outstretched
7

at
arms,

98

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

prepared, according
the

embrace
started

with

back

with

herself,said

Sykes,
merely

kiss
Miss

come,

of my

put

we

taken

in and

allowed,

as

The

room.

you're

up

done

at

tolerant

Mr.

cuttin'

'

of

all the

we

find

The

as

with
out

of that

favourite

comedian
to

present

landladies

had, for
stew

Worcester

but
a

my

of

in part

sins, to

themselves

vagaries.

as

hospitable
They

cheap.

were

company.

actors

stayed

rule, were

"

our

in

terribly

I used

usually

grinning lithographof
called
this

work

of

discharge of
subsist

Joe Eldred, who,

good

his, stronglyflavoured

sauce.

sanctum

gentlemen

and

with

and

commercial-

commercial

compared

bed

generally
terms,

the

use

smaller-salaried

facing my

fancy, used

various

'

lodgings; these,

popular country

and

Oh,

'

"fat"

were

ceremonial

artistic

'

stuffy,dirty little dens,

also

you

"

Sykes,

they playfullytermed

generally the

theatrical

to

er

"

commercial

on

to
privilege,

quaint.

certainlyBayards
But

you

Mr.

No,

'

Venetian.'

more

amiable
always extraordinarily

and

of mind

inn,

an

for

great

K.G.'s,' as

were

Terry

then, recovering

business

It's

etiquetteand

strict and
or

"

that

to

part.'

When

was

terror

Terry,' expostulated

engaging leer;

an

'

do
hand.

my

of

Miss

Poor

great presence

don't

we

look

directions,

stage

Belmont.

of

Lady

the

to

art

his

bill.

deal
with

the

to

on

onions

I
a

GIRLS

the

of

week

expected

his

write

to

would

'

be,

home

'

The

the

Quoth

raven

the

didn't understand
thanks.

her

pride to

the

keep

them

small

the

As

as

far

bread-and-butter
at

then

about

travel

corner

than

from
of

ready,and
hours'
poor

cherished

faithful service
a

shabby
even

notice.

mostly

to

on

complain

never

with

old

"

and

"

further

no

powder-puff
"

toilet
almost

jealouslytreasured

little purse.

eager,
The

them

professionalslight. They

long night journeys

luxury
bald

little

some

tiny,

on

anything serious,only now

about

least,never

to

engagement.

live

they

They

tea.

have

keep

to

of

out

are

see,

ever

and

country

appearance

enough

save

they

could

be

must

the

about

of

amount

months

touring

well-mannered, who

and

irregularsalaries,and
during

it with

another, nearlyall of them

to

town

certain

up

girls. There

wandering

amiable

pretty and

shows

theatrical

of minor

wistful

of

of

one

her

profuse in

she

day

some

visitors.

number

hundreds
from

this

was

landlady, who

quotation,was

to

one

simply wrote,

once

the

,' and

patheticfeature

The
is

believe

end

popular seemed

most

home/

from

the

at

together with

name,

complimentary sentiment.
to

produce

book, in which

visitors'

99

STAGE

THE

hostesses

of my

Most

ON

They

only glimmer

life is, I fear,a spark

girl's

of

of

always

are

study long parts

in

at

lightin

few
each

hope twinkling
7"2

100

RANDOM

ahead

of

her,

night,that
be

to

day

one

lies awake

she

as

London

the

staring into

will chance

manager

passing through Barmby-on-the-Marsh,

her

see

REMINISCENCES

play Pauline,

fortune.

But

she

and

her

carry

off

catches

never

fame

to

her

will
and

Will-o'-the-

wisp.
I have

of

days

first theatrical

my

Newcastle.
with
of
with

his

deal

ached

take

infinite

deal

of

various

Saturday night

in

playing cards.
under

managed

the

of breathable
I

reached

practitionerin

back

all

the

seat,

was

no

caused

an

So

in.

in

the

first

for

my
on

carriage full

of my

to

one

London

get

where

part

my

waiting

smoking
to

up

stage

while

third-class

companions,

boisterous

by lying

blankets

cannon-ball.

head

nights, during

two

the

on

given

last

travelled

cues.

lie

to

in

wrapped

entrance

The

kind

had

have

if I had

Mitre

shivering,

there

one,

at

give

to

should

trouble

I had

and

and

"

me

small

playing.

on

performance,

When

was

and

developed

it contained

place, and

my

insisted

inches

sickness

last few

finished

Crown

fever

employers begged

kind

but, although it
to

of

though

as

fits of

the

We

the

wife.

alternate

"

of

tour.

staying at

was

and

good

which

My

Kelly
ague

recollection

vivid

very

pipes

hours'

few

there

all

and

were

sleep
few

air.

home,

sent

for

neighbourhood, who

general

told

me

WILLIAM

SIR

bit

'

was

diet,and

generous

of

two

or

been

amused

by

Many

who

said

'

in

some

I have

be

doctor

when

the

had

you

sister

He

typhoid.'

was

for

me

organizing,

was

Mr.

you,

engaged

once

who

to

upon

was

from
I

applied
I

told

week

slight claim

in Hermann

afterwards

company

my

to

over

who

day

bed, and

to

me

years

Brookfield, because
married

sent

actor,

young

engagement

called

we

tonic,

After

exercise.

suffering for

fever.

typhoid

an

plenty of

immediately

had

me

prescribed

unspeakable misery

who

Weber,

and

down,'

run

101

JENNER

first attended

you

the

alludingto

was

to

general practitioner.
attack

My

Jenner

was

called

was

delightfulman,
lesson

and

room

slowly,fold

the

top of it,with

down
upon

into

his

doctors.
his

up
his

About

had
four

of

in the
years

Wight,

Southampton,
was

Osborne.

family at

and

had

various

would

great-coat, put

gloves inside,and

was

you

the

enter

his

hat

then
for

converse

though

was

settle
awhile

the

were

on

only

world.
ago,

got

when
into

I
a

discovered

William

Sir
He

manner

He

easy-chair and

an

He
'

bedside

'

William

Sir

one.

consultation.

in

general topics,as

patienthe

Isle

in

all young

to

bad

pretty

that

three

times, besides

the

railway-carriageat

Jenner,

attended

living in

was

on

my

only

his
members

way

panion
com-

from
of

my

myself. However,

102

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

when

he

chanced
his

recognitionin
if somewhat

renew

introduced

illness in

awoke.

course,

the

case.'

and

every

symptom

he

though

as

he

in

gave

us

the

he

little

mother

your

in

?' he

1881

the

Presently,on
me

how

go

to

order,
get

so

to

of

Her

Consort,

their

of

pit

presence

who

recall

And

that

Then,'
for

you

complication,

certain

of

amount

detail

every

didn't

And

were.

he

days
Hay

attend
once

he

again

described
had

market

to

started

to

Theatre, in

plays performed, as

Majesty
were

'

case.

the

see

member
re-

illness

father's

journey, he

the

'

proceeded, having

student

much

glimpse

Prince
with

not

old

name.

immediately

attended

to
'

it

same

in his

once

the

father's

little

detail of her

every

in his last

diary.

complication/

pigeon-holedthe family,as
reviewed

from

proceeded

perhaps

may

my

recollect, which
And

of

remember
was

remember

recapitulatedevery

variation

presently

exclaimed

he

And

reading

'

don't

my

!' he

yes

There

of

mined
deter-

was

attended

you

1879.

trouble/

you

I mentioned

were

proceeded,

typhoid

but

'

no

refined,

But

you

was

in his

professional memory

Of

'

said

and

1874;'

William's

Sir

course,

father, whom

my

nor

eyes

features.

Of

'

William/

remember

there

way

my

acquaintance,and

our

myself.

Sir

old

kind

Mongolian,

to

me,

glance

to

to

night.

the

Queen

honour
*

We

and

the
had

to

to

the

theatre
wait

"

104

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

palm

as

reward

into the

me

for

manager's

presence.

Hollingshead engaged
the

Palace

Crystal
entitled

'

the

Fairy Spiteful,Good
of

the

described

Arthur,

Before

home

dear

in her

make

brother, who

my

going
This

wish

Gaiety
the

had

the

he

bills in

my

with

the

the

do.

fish

been

the

that she

who

that

sauces

names

in the
this

year.

name.

herself

in

with
Robert
'Are

us.

the

opening
'

we

were.

?'

Well,
we're

programme,
You'll

the

pride

corner

Mr.

so

appear

my

to

up

to
to

But

name.

playing in

murmured

your

drove

aspirants,when

are

my

pseudonym,

standing

to

my

determination

came

tears

opposed

I knew

set

first

prejudiceof

change

assume

was

young

We

to

"

our

with

me

the

to

to

full

own

gentlemen

regard

using

along

stage-manager,

inquired.

'

pound

of

entreaties, and

with

Soutar, the

implored

I should

Theatre

of other

group

you

to

terrible fall.

good

pervaded

morning

stage, and

her

disregarded

in

all

had

that

that

concession

firmlyrefused

no

the

the

to

on

had

to

King

'

as

programme

mother

rehearsal,my
eyes

of

pantomime.

left

Knights

that

was

humour

the

of

of the

book

entire

part

mime
panto-

the

and

at

Harlequin

; or,

twenty shillingsin the

sample

fair

very

the

in

sovereign worth

Giant-killer

My

play

to

Christmas

great

King Arthur,

Table/

Round

forthwith

me

the

in

Jack

finallytake

should

who

him

be

Mr.

CLOWNS'

Burgess, you're Mr. Worcester,

and

you're Mr. Harvey/

was

appeal from

no

had

as

appear

There

is

that

pantomime
to

extra

any

in the

wares

'

scene

who

'

property

which

with

that

the

him.

The

coming early to
broken

It
had

was

the

during

Bancrofts', who
Theatre
very

the

with

for

the

Sharp,

at

the

into

this

pantomime

The
into

stall,and
tised
chas-

artist and

revival

once

to

of

released

who

by
and

tights,but,

that

engagement

open

to

reads

to

go

the

Hay

the

market

Hollingshead

Money.
me

offer, again

an

at

moment's

began rehearsing.

solicitor

later

days

influence,

about

in time.

receive

to

solo,

entered

clown's

discovered

good-naturedly

notice, and

play

ocarina

few

was

were

enormous

orchestra.

brother

theatre

Kemble's

through Henry

an

to

had

the

in

on

giant retaliated, I remember,

fortune

good

giant

gentleman

came

with

the

in

his

for

right
terrible

the

pretended

the

glass

this
fortunately,

was

giant

proprietorof

accordinglywaited

putting

the

really played

discovered

contract

'

in

custom

exclusive

There

'opening'

ocarina, and

was

clown

the

accordingly

or

afternoon, when

'

in

There

on.

by advertisingtrade

scenes/

one

scene

the

made

be

comic
'

behind

law

has

played Gorgibuster

front
'

'

clown

to

Lazenby,

Burgess/

unwritten

the

sums

passed

decision, and

F.

curious

you're Mr.
he

And

his

Mr.

'

to

105

PERQUISITES

the

was

will.

cast

Both

106

RANDOM

the

Bancrofts

REMINISCENCES

and

were,

kind, but
bewildered
for

the

called
4

after

first time.

in those

the

old

business

and

next

quicker, if
'

on

just

rate,

don't

don't
family solicitors,
their

This

time.

old

likely,and

most

stuff,so

next

time

else.

So

fellow

he'd

key

about

time
the
took

and

kindly earnestness,

think

drew

up

These

they

! but

rate

like

to

old
take

self
will him-

the

enjoy ladlingout

little bit

but

shade

And

in mine

know,

you

next

mind.'

arm

you

get through his

to

with

said,

that's the

"

fellow, quite first

dear

my

his

said

triflehurried,

always

was

twopence

don't

you

linked

side, and

one

First

'

B.

wants

will

the

perhaps

care

somewhere

hurry on

moment

me

simply

it

know

you

little

her, and

to

me

doesn't

He

; he

little bit

Sharp,"

"

character.

Mordaunt

she

as

take

might

you

rapidly?

to

through

Brookfield, quite excellent

think

you

more

'

days, beckoned

Excellent, Mr.

don't

B.,'

traordinarily
ex-

feeling a

shyly read
Mrs.

'

knows,

everyone

remember

had

as

are,

his

slower, if you

own

don't

mind.'
I wish
or,

if they

ever

saw,

would

rehearsals.

conducted

to-day could

of

stage-managers

remember,

The

quite as elaboratelymounted
was,

of

mounting
were

the

course,

far

to

modern

better

plays he
those

as

first manager

comedy),

acted.

And

to

and

to

yet

he

have

how

Bancroft

produced
of

gave

were

to-day (he

give
my

seen,

elaborate

mind
us

they
very

short

'Supers' (or

rehearsals.

summoned
finished

at

rehearsal

author
there
the
'

Edward

Mr.

would

be

to

the

on

seen

the
(ii.)

actor-manager,

literaryadviser,' (iv.)the

ballet-master

that

being
the

littleor

The

no

head, who

see

my

The

yard

before

Thurloe

and

was

I shall

to

him.

my

associate
the

insisted

Frank

that

was

long journey

that

on

could

one

that

she

first
not

knew
out
with-

was

her

entirelyout
at

forget his

Marshall, who

conducting

on

that

cauliflower

never

mother

dense

so

Theatre

kindest-hearted
gentlest,

the

lived.

Place, which

direction, a

death

to

always

only slightly,
seeing

escort,

result

o'clock in

Haymarket

Marshall, of
of

ever

fog

mother

the
I

extraordinarygoodness
night.

(vi.)the

the

six

or

tired

get

1880.

one

that

creatures

(v.)a

"

last tillfive

Frank

was

(i.)

once

curtsies,

suggestion;

opened

31,

with

evening

at

stage

progress.

Bancrofts

January

nowadays

ix., x., etc.)

(viii.,

and

company

But

the
producer/ (iii.)

and

offer

to

rehearsals

evening, the

make

on

likes

who

faithful

his

stage-manager,

bows

the author,
(vii.)

prompter,
anyone

teach

to

all

we

Occasionallyan

stalls.

the

in

and

superintending

and

Hastings.

appear

often

officials

himself

Bancroft

were

are

'

only

and

called)were

be

principalsat eleven,

The

one.

henchman,

'

ten,

at

ladies

'extra

beginning to

gentlemen,'as they were

107

1880

THEATRE,

HAYMARKET

home
of

his

to

own

midnight, through

108

RANDOM

black

choking
Most

of

men

their

done

the

fog,

young

had

REMINISCENCES

cabman

Poor

Frank

life,and

Marshall

wore

had

lost

call

to

He

was

his

sterlinggoodness,

but

highly-ratedamong

his

also

graminivorous

in

dropped

the

at

lovingly to fatiguer
bath

of oil and

good

nature,

same

time

too!'

!'

And,

'

his

with

size

perfumed

Don't

you

but

'

no

one

outrage/

'who
That's

always
a

New

'

I know

puts

in

would

up

at

the

for

me

for

more

triple the

front

him.

of

anxious

!' Frank

no

dream

teaspoonful

chop

his

call

of

his

to
plied
re-

such

another,

of

absinthe.'

barbarism,' retorted
to

on

pliment
com-

fellow,'exclaimed

York

blandly, continuing

Heavens,

tiny

the

and

in

at

inquired one,

German

one

enough

tarragon,

in ?'

put sugar

connoisseur.

appear

me

would

bouquet

in

presume

satisfaction

skill, Frank

chives, and

the

would

his friends

as

lettuce

was

commencing

Oh, and, Frank, make

lettuces, and
of

cos

most

friends

him

Frank, make

cry,

beaming

to

crisp

the

Accordingly,

Club,

saw

vinegar,they

and

salad.

Sheridan

dine, and

to

complishments
ac-

many

of

one

for

only

his

for

these,

pretty talent in the mixing of

dinner-time

conceal

popular,not

very

Amongst

at

finger in early

to
partially
finger-stall

deficiency.

'

they

they merely

were

kid

the

an

consider

cab.

'

would

to-day

duty amply

horse.

leading his

herbs

Frank

into

he

which

bowl

the

few

in

eyes

morsel.

ecstasy

But

wore

?'

the

only

asked

only
"

!'

ball

of

he

face

of

of

one

peering
I

seem

to

founder

turned

of

the

What's

friends.

'

the

have

stray

wiped

the

down

round

for

and

bread,

the

his

lighted.
de-

was

gourmand

gulped

expression.

Frank,

replied

as

troubled

Frank

with

way,

enough,

sure

begged

enthusiastic

one

own

Everyone

neighbours

more

round

And,

work.

the

finally

and

leaves,

unrivalled.

109

his

salad

his

mix

to

be

to

crowned

and

knew

end

the

his

fragments

minute

.'

HALF-SUSPECTED

AND,

'.

Oh,

polished
lost

my

up

savoury

the

feast

matter,

nothing/
bowl,

stall
finger-

CHAPTER

Odell

His

discretion
visit

His
detail

by

when

first

who

stage-

London

take

to

was

gipsy

conventional
allow

by
if

thought

school

the

as

against
have

the
been

allotted

to

born,
one

tried,

for

his

late

Then,

Graves.

he

I
of

how

the

Odell.

knows

as

this
his

do
would

age.

if

interest

Arthur

John

part

of

the

account

the

believe

that
for

the

that

be

trammel
the

to

would

that

and

came

believe

not

is

he

crofts
Bansame

of

part

Cecil

Vesey,

of

not

to

for

Honey,

latter
I

he

comedian

expect,
Sir

Odell
could

imagine

George

part

and

could

many

strength

But
He

nor

and

are

the

on

personal

him,

engaged

There

temperament.

humour.

picturesque

remarkable

shirt.

soiled

that

company

most

Bohemians

be

to

and

genuine

the

London.

in

claim

ill-manners

no

As
"

market

Hay

probably

Bohemian

who

the

joined

Odell,

met

popular

ever

aspirant

An
"

elocution

of

storm.

was

his

teacher

of

appreciation

"

as

amateurs

His

reticence

His

"

experience

to

manager

susceptibility

His
"

America

to

My

"

men

science

"

"

medical

His

"

IT

VI

rebelled
this
be

may

finally

Odell
fact
when

was

that
the

112

'

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the

dear

would

Duchess
her

disappointed
Everyone

when

"

for

was

Odell

audacity in venturing so
Dietz

round

swung
him.

upon

As

exclaimed

where

another

wounded

we're

said

with

yes,'

lucky

for

"

the

milk

pint

may

be

quantity

very

of

of

I'm

very

in

from

not

It

A
to

fact.

my

slight
anyone

system.'
back

that's

seems

thing

well-known

then
that

drink.

the

He

drinker.

and

claret, so

the

Sir

'

gash.

now

who

her

well,'she told

bad

and

serious

alcohol

Odell,

observed
that's

people

poor

arm

herself,

casualty.

extraordinarily
quickly.
the

her

She

be

soon

that

me

bread-

her, praised

pretty

was

Bogie's

"

with

group,

it

to

had

with

sympathy.

it will

says

said

round

our

little besides

of

flesh heals

wound

Oh,'

going

with

appear

light of

very

very

very

out

so

'

Bancroft

severely

all stood

We

he

But

I drink

not

?'

not

Mrs.

obliged to

was

made

it was

little

Dietz

where

!'

poor

rather

Henry Thompson
'

going

expressed

and

however,

us.

And

we're

'

hand

she

sling.

pluck,

recovered, however,

quality,

occasion

her

knife, and
a

back

Odell, replying for her, in his drawling

tell anyone
On

Miss

her

turned

holiday,Miss

of indescribable

voice

his

at

intrude.

conversation.

for your

going

arejy0^

in

the

resumed

someone

had

we

if he
room.

dumb

to

chair, and

as

the

struck

suddenly

her

soon

entered

moment

'

really offended

be

of

Oh
the

Indeed,

113

SUSCEPTIBILITY

often

cut

finger,just

my

to

if

see

had

I've

enough/
When
at
a

the world
small

some

version

of

play it was
he

But

the

Effie

so

affected

case,

and

told

He

then

court.

No

one

flew

manager
he

throne

of

what

her

to

I did but

The

actual

you

be

in solemn
I late

on

taken

such

back
And

has

to

he

imposing

the

had

court

paid

to

for five

leave

to

The

do.

to

case,

proceeded

exemption

the

stage-

concealinghis fury as
actor

to

go

with

proceeded

an

was

your

the
idle

feelings.
is, that

you

from

which

to

the

at

upon

cell

and

unfortunate

Prisoner

pronounced

court

back

resumed

the
*

tones

moment

of the

in due

Odell

dallyfor

sentence

.'

death

they

Accordingly,Odell

bar, the pardon that

He

and, callingback
justice,

Effie,said

of

left the

prepared

could, implored the

his decision.

came.

and

had

the side and,

amend

jest.

they

knew

to

she

that

the attention

rose,

well

piteousappeal,as

character.

them

death.

to

law, he stopped the

her

her

jury for

years.

as

the

of the

earlypart

an

the heroine

her

by

told

stain upon

the

well

In

condemn

penalty of
and

Odell,

younger,

beauty and charm, that,instead

thank

the

Deans.'

duty to

acquitted her,

to

years

theatre, played the Judge in

country

'

extreme

without

many

his

was

her

by

as

was

you
her

sentence

to

form.
often

occasions

threatened
he

has

to

been

go

to

feted

America, and
at

farewell
8

114

home,

time

his

by

suppers
at

he

their great

to

he

told

first
playwright's
with

this country
was

travelled

left the

even

little

usual

locks.

Why,

I'm

what

'

his

the

Odell

!'cried
are

skipper

may

at

have

first

disguise;

but

after

the

doing

fought

popular a

passenger

unbend.

He

met

few

he
our

hat, the

same

here

rather

him

to

on

friend

?'

I'm

shy
be

he

of

Odell.

pirate in
found

how

board, he resolved
on

"

simply.

days, when

had

elbow,

Pinero, in astonishment.

you

suspected

from

Odell, looking

friend
coat,

same

earth

on

old

Pinero,

his

at

sight

steam-

turned

seated

saw,

was

hound
grey-

waves,

by emotion,

of
"

ocean

hoarse

into the

nose

of

out

the

seeing myself off/ repliedOdell

The
He

her

suddenly

form

vessel,and
there

faded

through

overcome

and
taffrail,

quaint

little boat

farewell

dipped

his

panied
accom-

handkerchiefs, and

Liverpool, and

exactly as

'

of

of

her

There

They

board

on

direction

himself

same

off.

the

hooter, and

the

him

waving

left

he

kind, and

correspondents,who

of

see

Pinero

ceremony.

As

bade

the

of

weeping.

in the

only

brilliant

that

side of the Cunarder

and

cheering

The

that

was

the

of

illustrious author

tender

It

deal

good

Liverpool to

to

the

much

boat.

excursion
a

remained

delight.

chanced

so

specialcarriage full

the

It

same

has

Transatlantic
interesting

that

one.

the

going by

was

relief and

to

no

friends, and

of

myriads

actuallywent

suburb

as

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the

upper

to

deck.

APPRECIATION

OF

Good-morning,' said

'

proceeded
Odell,

There

the first few

'

in the saloon

narrated

maintop
puff

was

caught
his

wind

reckoned

we

the

her

fair

!'

one
'

the

Yes, and

at

sea.

Horn,' he

night,

aloft

the

to

I felt there

was

than

sooner

The

beam.
with

boy

the

I'd

and

last Odell
of it

worst

in two

for

and

Half

half remained
few

remarked

was

the

of

ladies

me,

the other

awed,

was

fell from

"

little for'ard

clean

cut

was

I suppose

"

cold

you'llbelieve

ocean,

spoke, until

the

up

came

gunwale

if

Everyone

thrill the

to

nor'-west-and-by-nothe,and

the

gentlemen,his body
it fell into the

sent

for

who,

bitter cold

was

It

numbed

main-chains, and

used

for
sky-sail,

her

on

struck

aloft,and

it

lad I'd

the

from

board

rounding

coming.

fingerswere

deck

?'

undulated

terrible tales of the

were

poor

reef

to

of

with

evening,

one

there

and

and

on

the voyage,

nightsof

night,when

One

Odell

business,'replied

my

his heel

old Commodore

an

was

company

you, Mr.

are

'That's

on

apparently

his interlocutor.

from

away

he turned

as

How

'

enquire.

to

115

captain,without

attention.

securingany
he

the

DETAIL

he

on

seconds
very

broke

of

no

gently,

his watch-

glass:
I had

the stage

Henry
'

Oh,

curious

as

Warr

experience in

of elocution.

teacher
called

Charley,

my

upon

there's

me

very

one

earlydays
My

old

day,

and

on

friend

said,

exceptionallynice
8"2

the

her

she

do

couldn't

couldn't

idea

is there

to

Oh,

to

how

It'll do

you.

Park

as

friend

my

asked

of

system

more

er

"

made,

"

theoretical

five

at

handbag

few

made

give

to

with

books

my

I had

to

walk

was

up

my

Bell's

and

for

call the

Holland

once

into

Shakespeare,

Park.

or

The

Speaker,'

out

It

the

looming through
down

my
next

threw

Modern
a

"

Cohen

first lesson.

presentlymade

bound

Well

far been

so

"

apprehension, I
"

to

way

foggy evening, but

for which

?'

to

me

Carpenter'sPopular Readings,'and

and

with

success

er

"

presently

practical.'Mrs.

told

and

followingday, sick

than

nervousness,

afternoon

much

has

system

my

she

doubt, good-natured allowance

no

obvious

'

good-humour,

Brookfield

teaching,Mr.

er,'I stammered,

delightful

most

when

had

you

in

"

Cohen,

Mrs.

and

aback

it ?'

they're

called

kindliness

have

and

good,

I found

was.

What

quite easily

it'llcome

described,

with

And

me,

your

it

the

teach

one

But

thing.

can

lot of

I said

haven't

Accordingly

little taken

was

'

you

had

beaming

woman

Warr

I think

Holland

how

and

someone

you.'
'

such

about

set

people.'

charming

but

to

!' said

nonsense

for

send

remonstrated.

taught?

be

wants

aloud, and

read

to

than

better

I
possibly,'

faintest

people

young

she

wife

Cohen,

Arthur

Mrs.

mine,

for Southwark

Member

teach

to

of

friend

woman,

of

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

116

twice

the

was

palace
mist.

before

ELOCUTION

AN

could

summon

bell.

the

rang
asked.
butler

room,

where

sidled

with

me

of all

it

commenced
so

art

to

slippedout
of

mercy."

the

of the

room),

second

the
hearts

of flint
brow

suddenly

tore

if this

was

of

out

common

was

to

and

Ready,
:

thou

lady

was

the

un-

of

swift
to

and

'brassy

alone

with

whose

lip
after

room

worth.

(here

dram

got
I

"

any

puckered,

sisters,shriekingfor all she

wondering

'

the

wretch

from

had

from

young

girlmade

time

first

"

eldest

empty

me

for thee

inhuman

an

and

?"

adversary

"

best

throat,

my

sorry

the

at

afterwards

here

am

stared

for

'

the

our

scene

for you

dismay,

the

Trial

stony

my

bag,

cleared

"

whose
six-year-old,
who

the

round

fire and

I think

'

is Antonio

pity,void

rough

the

obeisance,

the

my

and

"

answer

exit.) By

curled, and
her

"

Grace."

to

?' I

ladies,ranging

between

say

"

What,

"

(Here
and

home

at

awkward

an

I then

me.'

to

noticed, rather

bosoms

you

come

adroit

chair

of Venice

please your

capable

them

be/ I said, opening

out

steps, and

six, perhaps, seated

to

to

last

lofty,comfortable

six young

or

I made

read

to

At

girlssaid nothing, but simply

Merchant

read

into

frank, wide-open eyes.

will

plan

five

saw

seventeen

The

lamp.

the

ladies

young

ushered

into

admission.

dining-room, sir,' replied

was

large table.

and

"

and

from

in age

the

In

'

the

Are

'

117

blindlyup

heart, ran

my

seek

to

courage

up

I hardened

LESSON

was

experience

of

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

118

elocution-masters, and,
did

when

next,

erect,

and

said,

Isn't this

the

truth

the

girl;

began
'

dawn

to

and

be

must

who

us

some

?'

are

you

inquired evasively,as
'

me.

upon

is No.

Cohen's

Mrs.

tell

?' I

Cohen's

Mrs.

they generally

there

thinks

kindly

you

what

so,

sister returned, grave

eldest

Mamma

'

Will

mistake.
'

the

if

6,

few

replied

No/

lower

doors

down.'
An
his
to

actor

banking

but

of

amount

it is

produce

to

The

'

and

played

he

Theatre

had

during

unanimously
about
'

get
c

that

'

Parvenu

in

the

was

for

piece

long

very

he

some

run,

at

the
cided
de-

they

nothing whatever

knew

then, Tracey,' said Kemble,

little more
?'

Why

Why,

inquired

make

to

'

you've got

to

over.'
the

playing the lightcomedy

'

infinite

it.

Now
a

to

comedians,
unprofessional

of

Court

two

or

Kemble

Harry

distinguishedcompany

although

guinea

positionrequiring an

remember

tact.

engaged

once

as
by officiating
stage-manager

account

amateurs,

add

sometimes

may

room

Baronet,

young

part, with
for

Claude

who

was

glassy stare.
Glynne's

trance,'
en-

explained the stage-manager.

1

Excuse

shake

part
still
"

of
at

the
all.

rigid!'

replied the other,

Kemble,'

me,

head,
I

feel

'

that's
the

not

fellow

my

reading

with
of

the

standing perfectly

120

RANDOM

The

rehearsal

where
the

commenced.

of the

where

he

happened

another

one

merely said,
and

handed

said chair

Of

'

chair

chair

and

it

in

was

brought

the

leading lady
to

it

as

the

gathered
the

ranged

had

been

'How

do

you

end

called

of the

had

to

and

me

coaching

be

Then

tea

room,

and
the

on

lines

from,

at

last

end,

so

But
an

them

asked

?'

you

?'

mean

pit.

the

to

place
her

out

come

before

the

her

there,'

character,

ought

of

he

way

when

back.

leave

to

and

company

there

say,

in front

be

another

by

other

the

play

has

"

and

handed

back

Who

was

to

the

were,

sitting

or

anyone's

audience

'

it out,

pour

from

route

mustn't

presentlyneeded

was

here/

stage

in

was

that

the

simply exclaimed,

he

nearest

standing

course,

into

it

the

reached

one

footlights.People got

if

each

say,

be

to

the

generallyacross

to

by

stage

entered

Everybody

that is

they pleased ;
centre

of

REMINISCENCES

inquired

hostess

my

sweetly.
'

mean,'

before

you
move,
'

the

Why,

for

sent

you

speak

to

explained,

who

had
Who

been

training

taught

you

to

one

to

act, in fact ?'

to

"

me

'

nobody,'

said

they,looking

from

other.
'

Well, I

thing I
of truth.

ever

only

can

saw
'

Here's

say

it's the

!' I

said,not

my

block

most

without

for

notes

extraordinary
a

substratum

;'and

I held

it

AMATEUR

Not

up.

taught

often

puzzled

with

me

heavy plays which

take

work

to

I've

it's a

gift,that

what

labour

we

remarks

were

corroborative
took

turn
*

You

know,

smoothly.
it

aside

me

But

of

d'you

made

said

one

indeed.

The

what

takes

it

it

Because

/ held

Didn't

drop.

you

! it

of

job, having

I shan't

do.

to

out

was

this

act

tell

to

play another

much.

too

me

were

you

It does

time, but

they

over.'

me

who

one

played

several

had

he

felt it wouldn't

one

'

awfully glad

I wouldn't

I said

he

would

in

company

said, it did go

why
let

'I'm

of 'em

It

talked

the

and

confidences.

me

know

pleased,but, by George

year.

after,and

?'

Another

every

that

enthusiastic

fellah/one

woiddrit

together.

notice

Each

dear

my

hard

of

quite naturallyto you.'

with

and

perform

to

strive

greeted

applause.

managed

conclusion

the
and

generallyfail to attain, comes

My

It has

six weeks

or

you.

you.

amateurs

to

come

to

use

any

assure

five

us

single suggestion

rehearsals

short

six

produce.

of

how

know

to
or

be

lesson, I

me

five

only

can't

121

I haven't

it.

upon

make.

to

YouVe

word

MODESTY

had

interfere
of the

quier,had

offers
be

with

ladies
told her

the

fair
their

told
he

me

low-comedy
to

go

on

upon

his

part told

the

me

stage, but

friends.

actor

It

getting a living.

While

that

perru-

considered

Clarkson, the
that

in

tragicparts

122

RANDOM

she

quite the equal

was

and

REMINISCENCES

all agreed that

competent

had

never

But

Terry.

they had

one

thoroughly

so

professionalcoach.

What

'

Ellen

of

should

we

have

hostess, with

my

done
raised

without

you

!' exclaimed

eyebrows

and

sad

smile.
On

the

in

appeared
whole

the

of

evening

largeletters
under

produced

performance
the

on

the

curtain, and
be

might

Many
time

years
the

on

ago,

and

father

The

and

than

with

daughter'sgenius
1

We

girlcan

as

the

take

at

they came

every

and
in.

'

Then

I don't

think
at

see

may

the

or

actress.'
American
about

her

most

we

what

I should

one

or

little

my

should

offers from

his

success.

Drury Lane, just for

consider

night. Three,

man
gentle-

daughter

an

enthusiasm

certaintyof

do,'he remarked.
home

their

even

was

old

South

or

short

quite a

an

with

Mexican

matinees, that the world

two

sit

to

propose

entirely

were

'becoming

great

and

they

now,

me

her
"

spoke

the

that, whatever

opinion

be

upon

foreign

was

before

been

my

it would

about

me

I had
when

his wife called

consult

to

when

stage, and

valueless

more

Everyone

for stage-management.

genius

my

actor,

an

as

Charles

Mr.

Theatre.'

generallyadmitted

merits

my

of

"

publiclythanked

was

it was

eclipsedby

"

delighted.

was

The

'

programmes

direction

Brookfield, of the Haymarket

name

my

simply

managers
let her

four, times

play
week

END

THE

would

be

question in

my

reveal

who

given

Macduffor

novelty in

resented

the

and

they

expense,

new

They obviously
and
stiffly,

rather

me

would

they

discover

to

Johns.

advice, saluted

my

the

seldom

that

press

Don

their

from

specialperformance

benefit

the

enabled

merely

had

them

all their trouble

perhaps find,after

drama

comedy?

or

that it is very

advantage
reaps

only

?'

pointed out

for whose

of the

walk

dissuade

to

The

nights.

tragedy

"

Beatrice

all I could
I

first

123

ance
ordinary perform-

is, in which

talent
or

scheme, and
person

Some

the other

on

mind

her

I said

is

given

Macbeth

Lady

'DEBUTANTE'

quite enough.

be

might

to

OF

withdrew.
Ten

twelve

or

I had

stage.

written

Theatre.
on

Sir

As
the

when

went

out,

Lane

rehearsal

of

was

so

Palace
touched

woman

young

had

the

it)for

and

title of which

I recall
a

Drury

on

Harris

Augustus
'

I blush

was

superintendinga

Pagliacci (the

on

abject that

me

been

which

burlesque

later I

years

arm.

Brookfield,'she said,

'Oh, Mr.

'

could

give

you

me

aline?'
4

'

I'm

You

rather

time, and
'

it's

see,

every

Oh, but

present

I'm

one

that's

afraid

only

sketch.

line makes
word

impossible,'I

would

just standing

We're

answered.

limited

to

as

difference.'

do/ she
on,

and

pleaded.

that

means

'

At

only

124

RANDOM

twelve

Who

well.

are

it up

bring

speak

could

you

to

Sir

to

give

me

pound.'

Augustus/

I said.

conveyed

nothing

?'
her

me

which

name,

me.

Of

'

I'll

you

told

She

If

it would

speak,

to

'Very

to

week.

shillingsa

word

REMINISCENCES

course

little smile.

sad
to

me

can't

you

see

my

didn't

hear

of

it?

of

the

gave

papers

that.

assured

was

father

if her
a

day
that
of

number

knew

'

was

her

'

it

had

of

should

been

have

coming
I sent
decided

by six, and
those

who

or

We

two.

or

you

noticed

matinee

after

didn't

dare

seemed

that
had

repel

to

line

ask

There

collaborator,

my

you

it wasn't

still alive.

which

rehearsal

at

'

address.

she

Aren't

extras

one

to

mistake,

"

were

her

Just

ago.

Perhaps

one

would.

mother

spoke

that

was

next

learned

friend

consented
it

brought

?'

can

you

air about

But

(I think
The

and

farouche

inquiry.
once

that

her

and

Macbeth

"

what

do

you

the

of

years

some

least, only in

at

idea

Will

her

the

up

was

said, with

mother

Ado."

something,

or

"

Much

"

and

Place,

There

counter-attraction
in

Thurloe

matinee

before

me,' she

father

My

'

in

you,

remember

who

to

at

speak

in, old chap ?').

for her.
to

my

gone.

But

reduce

I
the

unfortunate
No

one

VII

CHAPTER

The

'leading
His

trysts

'

leading

wonderful

market
had

fifteen,

the

left

Mr.

Lancelot,

how

to

of
the
*

his

mirror

lady

wait/

dressed

he

of

card

stood
in

his

Hay-

Lancelot
about

years

"

had

Beaumains

only

leading

the

knight.

the

sky-blue

prompt
satin

displaying

If

West

romantic

to

the

Lancelot,
entrance,

breeches

suit

margin

from,

company

of

frame
follow

in

hibit
ex-

which

the

would

his

learn

to

invitations

Beaumains

for

order

from

of

action

chanced

Lancelot

popularity

ability by
request

in

adorn

to

every

stage,

amongst

Mr.

City
in

Mr.

professions
watched

the

as

If

social

his

of

the

Mr.

many

learned

himself

peeress's

best

good

were

ago
in

two

time.

wits.

years

had

Mr.

off

even

dressing-glass,
the

to

for

the

of

one

should.

proclaimed
his

'

twenty

"

his

by

of

colony

Valley

lived

His

"

"

comport

actor

same

Accordingly,

stage.

End

the

whereas

perhaps

recently

once

'juvenile

of

We

at

company
been

'

juveniles

study.

who

man

young

"

Thames

The
"

wiles"

His

popularity

"

imagination

"

dipsomaniacs

THE

social

His

juvenile'

say,

his

during
becomingly
and

laced

126

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

ballet-shirt

(we

playing

were

of

bright

he

was

eyes

in

the

the

appear

the

royal box,

first entrance,

breeches

of

soft

from

the

corresponding stage-box on

Once, when

we

Lancelot
'

Has

which
of

thing

in

it, only there's

hand

similar

?' he

outside, and
This

gossiping/
was

of

the

company

in

emblazoned
He

chose

asked

with
a

moment

the

about.'

It

'

infernal
want

the
an

about
the

30

inches

royal arms
when

of

enormous

both

coat-of-

people

set

member

the

next

sort

of

by 18,
in

heraldic

noon
after-

mime
panto-

which

he

colours.
'

our

of

nothing

minor

whole

de circonstance

compromising/^^

wasted

in

great
to

was

seen

me

It's

sort

Beau-

anyone
to

eagerly.
doesn't

one

not

Has

'

an

coronet

afterwards

time

dressed
ad-

There's

great

addressed

about

manufacturing

envelope,

'

It's

lying

forthcoming, either.

never

inquired,

entrance.

there's

importance, only
arms

short

envelope lying

feminine

leave

to

But

made

brow.

anxious

might recognise.

wants

found.

mains

side.
room,
green-

lady's handwriting ?

me

one

in the

an

glance

the other

envelope,'he

an

in

with

in

to

somebody

never

an

seen

anyone

nothing

burst

and

for

angle

all assembled

were

pairs

opposite prompt

silk

batiste,and

conscious
un-

would

Beaumains

shirt

white

all

of three

in the

in olive

attired

piece just

and

scene,

cynosure

followingevening

'

powder

the

then),apparently watching
that

'juveniles were

128

RANDOM

Nonsense,

these

Out

remind

at

the

at

!' cried

once

his

hat.

last

leaves

bus

Putney
twelve/

to

wit, but

forgave

never

satire.'

The

unfortunate

than

sooner

is

now

years
all

put

ago

(and yet
the

living in

house-boat,

Grain

Corney
shift the
the

it is

over

Thames

and

before
had

Station.

which

have

must

The

could

been

immediately

became

he

"

to

the

centre

of

were

had

had

called

was

in

'

starboard.

his

well-timbered

fairygodmother.

Villa.'

Montressor

mind's

estate,

near

imagination

by

Villa,' and

to

port side of

an

him

when

he

safelyto

turreted, ivy-covered family mansion

the

we

I remember

him

few

very

Beaumains

had

given

the

dropped

of his

eight-roomed cottage

But

cottage

upon

sit

and,

afraid, but

am

seems

that

buffet

ago,

Lancelot

Poor

twenty) that

called

little

It

Valley.

once

we

Shepperton

Lancelot

life.

tragic

valuation

gets, I

of

refrigeratorand

saloon

Lancelot

he

nicely poised

so

years

his life.

to

that

out

some

to

came

managerial

end

an

enjoyment

times

the

invalided

so

little

bad

accept

services, he

Beaumains

Mr.

fell upon

He

end.

the

mind

compliments, sir,and

minutes

ten

'smiled

at

Never

his three-cornered

that

you

PiccadillyCircus
Lancelot

it

of Redcliffe's

Duchess
to

was

rascal !

with

rakishlycocking

The

the

infernal

you

gentlemen.

master,
'

REMINISCENCES

'

Montressor
Horatio

eye,

"

standing
with

trout-

in

DIPSOMANIAC

stream

my

the

at

where

stables,'and

the

'

me.

beg

I've had

'but
to

come

know

haven't

been

Could

cupboard

in the

me

than

dozen

tiny hamlet

sculleryor
would

and

that

idea

furnished

joins

the

there

to

foregathera

intends

cottage

more

ultimate
bottles

of

Halliford, a

at

Shepperton,

bar-parlour of

of the

the

siphons.

the

wonderful

the

on

Ship

Hotel

little band
"

much

the

use

say,

six

all

'it

under

the

purple-faceddipsomaniacs

(steward over

to

I should

six

extent

said,

hold,

to

on

I believe

long.

the

to

as

whisky,

an

lies,as

cupboard

of

In

old

him

wine-cellars.

the

half.'

Thames.

stanch

asking me

give

to

Lancelot

Mr.

small

used

"

'Well,1

for six bottles

accosted

Montressor"

"

claret,a bottle of brandy, and

I had

Lancelot

rough

any

neither

But

was

Woburn

settled in this part of the country

stairs.
a

the

Brookfield,'he said,

Montressor

reallywhere

whether

depends

of

five

day

one

dogcart and

Mr.

cellaragethere?'

the

order

4"

kept
I

thoroughly stocking his

give

you

his

pardon, Mr.

to

for

I don't

landlord

letter from

he

kennels/

my

became

pony

where

'

the

neighbouring

his

kept

pulledup

your

over

estimate

of

who

Hotel,

Park

the

tool-shed

Thurston,

Mr.

met

he

collies

unruly cross-bred

129

moment

same

loose-box

hired
'

while

COLONY

of

Fuller

Mr.

neighbouring property),

(retired),
Major

Captain Tanner,

R.N.

and
(retired),

I think, owing
Botting (retired,

Dr.

Belcher

to

little misunderstanding with

?'

to-day

fall last

nasty

Stumbled
the

by

abrasion

nasty

must

if

see

Fuller

Major

old

'Poor

things those

awkward

Mr.

elbow.

his

on

to-day.'

bed

would

remark

would

spot, and, after

bandaged,
the

would

old

Botting !

Belcher
a

hole

would
in

looking out
be
one

the
at

right as

as

of the

lest he

'

his

He

got

reply.

'

floor,and
him.

So

rain

in

He

bad

day

be

laughed

at

or

"

the

rooted
up-

the

recovery.

his

last

recovery,
?'

'

Poor

night,'Major
it there

have

him

and

receiving

doctor

was

was
alligator

to

two/
with

the

into

after

brass

put

we

party complained

should

Then

round

on

would

that

in

with,'

plastered

the

very

night.

view

speedy

friends

where's

But

at

to

saunter

evening, and,

next

ask,

awhile

reappear,

of
congratulations

would

he

the

him

away

stroll

for

would

Tanner

Captain

done

'em

their friend's

to

got

keeping

especiallylate

propose

standing

drink

and

sympathetically.

impediment, they
and

posts

They're infernally

chap!

have

Anchor.

white

knee,

I'm

posts,

can't

we

Belcher

Anchor

his

there, bruised

corner

old

had

the

from

infernal

those

of

against one

Tanner

He

'

were

Poor

'

reply.
back

night coming

old

ask.

would

Botting

!' Dr.

Tanner

would

Belcher

Major

Royal College

Where's

'

together.

assembled

seldom

the

four, however,

whole

Physicians). The

of

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

130

bed.
I

remember

hesitation,

some

for his fears

He'll

"

that

the

LIVING

shadows
road

from

when

he

I'm
'

by

cast

to

frightenany

horse

was

he
a

Shepperton

well-known

chap

in those

with

to

said
hand

only
to

tall,
ful
power-

but

He

was

But

had, if the

said.

in

he

made

at
an

of the
to

was

rogue

black

them,'

earn

possessed

flannels,a pipe,

spanielcalled

until

he

Rook.

could

they

went

home.

came

have

ever

been

by occasionallylendinga

expert
seldom

phrase

must

washing, Schroder

there

was

he

Schroder

boat

pulling a
an

young

suit of

one

needed

meal

work

not

despair, had

supper,

which

in

way

assist

river well.

was

of

son

breakfast,but nothing else.

and

had

remained

earn

to

to

living

the

would

sturdy

and

flannels

the

Bridge.
He

bed

the world

bed, and

The

Schroder

Bennett, the landlord

wonderfullyclever

When

steward.

morrow/
pollarded to-

was

He

he

But

this

father

Spartan

But

Enough

'em

He

days.

Mr.

dinner

wants

nothing in

named

father, in

His

suppliedwith

and

fellow

young

Anchor, by which

the

chestnuts

'

did.

amusing.

arrangement

'If he

alarm

with

four-and-twenty,well educated, clever,

of

anything.

be

him

the

on

Fuller, the

Mr.
-

trees

by night.

way

classical scholar.

very

of

I'll have

man

And

and

that

come

infernal

There

131

particularrow

surprised!' cried

not

WITS

filled
railway-station

the
had

Those

at

HIS

BY

oarsman,
went

is

Chertsey

to

up

and

without

knew

the

his dinner.

permissible,a
9"2

diffident

132

RANDOM

effronterywhich
burst
a

into

REMINISCENCES

almost

was

time-table

his

in

that

he

empty,

then

proceed

pleasantlyall

ten

they

his

most

to

such

would

ingenious

Schroder

Rook.

for luncheon.

there

who

Rook,

tricks

would,

the

approach

walk

"

head,

Come

like

effect.

Then

such

hand, with

in

!'
a

his

his

'

Oh

no

clever

reply sweetly.

Not

dog,'
'

Well,

had

you.

Sunday

or

to

stop

selected

the

whisper

series of

round, stand
'

Rook

shout.

all

But

with

to

his

step forward,
and

I'm

say

'I'm

awfully

most

least !

is rather

on

! Rook

stolidlyon
would

to

accord,

own

dazzling
he

the

apt

manner,

in the

some

of

his

etc.

master

best

lawn

commence

go

dog's annoying

my

of

would

would

Rook

dog

would

hind-legs,turn

somersaults,

turn

he

join, he

and

admittance
his

were

as

But

of

means

the

of

out

their party.

Saturday

apparently

his

on

lost his

times

nine

on

soon

here, sir !' Schroder

afraid
sorry

on

new-comers

entertainment.
cap

lie

to

been

talking

had

gaining

by

was

As

would

he

party

for

steam-launches

when

morning,

no

method

Hotel

ABC,

that he

join

to

would

Chertsey Bridge

his

him

press

circle of strangers

his

that

extent

an

had

room

strangers in his imaginary

the

interest

to

consult

to

dinner-partywith

the

thought

time, discover

the

train,and

misfortunes

had

would

He

apologize profoundly,

hand,

explain

last

during

privateroom

irresistible.

never

damsel
clever.

saw

would
I got

him

rather

in

would

instal

entertain

peculiarway/

them

them,

not,

he

pick

up

the

know

We'd

It would
would

be

only

as

with

silver,as
'

the

fancy he

the

had
'

touchable
he

might

case

value

sixpenny

drinks

per

then, say

once

tapping

'
"

"10

his form

emergency

that

he

and

then

he

"

and

is worth

confided

to

me

he

this with

me

forget for
no

he
what

at

gold

'try'the

for

stand

for

abroad

say,

later

One

in urgent

penste.

to

three
and

on,

is

Luggage
;

will

afternoon
need

specificpurpose.

arriere

is

desperate

'
"

frequent

,"50, urgent

kind.

it.

now
shillings

keeping

was

that

good

five

"

glance the

possiblefiver

of that

that

sovereign
told

is

travelling,
pleasesend

or
explain,'
something

"

of

eggs

him

about

wouldn't

the

actually kill

telegramfrom

: a

lost,friends

he

times

would

He

never

once,
;

be.

diem, and

month

laid the

those

of

calculate

about

?'

we

committed

gift of reckoning

would

ten

never

who

goose

high,' but

pretty

goose

say,

hadn't

ignominy

borrower,

the
follyof killing

in

mend
recom-

Clicquot'sfirst-

magnum,

once

I don't

'

I cant

their

hotel

mind.

Schroder,

or

about

And
the

say

here.

But

and

announced.
stroll into

wines

Schroder

friends

wine-list,and

have

out

And

new

was

Blanche.

better

133

etc.

his

would

the

get kicked

didn't

with

or

their Carte
rate.

TARIFF

until luncheon

if you

know

BORROWING

himself

then, invited
with

He

of
But
knew

had

that he

of

out

to

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

134

want

want
sort

of

holiday badly.'

And

spirit, I'm

'

That

it.'

evening,

who

Major Belcher,
alcoholic

the

authorityof

of

decoction

sittingsilent

dear

slipof

Simmer

dock

liquidon

the

it?' asked
who

duly

?' he

Schroder

this

mind

been

writing
the

to

table

pleasure,my

he

And

in the

had

With

with

simple

shone

you

pen.

daily.'
'

and
'

Not

proceeded

to

M.D.,

signing

his

And

the

the

with

name

slip of

paper

flourishingAlexander
'

D.Sc.'

upon

strained

all,'
repliedthe other,

signing

with

in the

rub

d'you mind

And
at

degrees.

called

equal

moment

Would

in water,

embellished

Botting,M.A.,

was

a
simple receipt:
difficulty,

enjoyed
old

Ship,

tion
combina-

no

glimmer

'

some

head

his

could

doctor.

roots

get

specificswere

asked, advancing

and

Schroder.

rather

initials of
was

Various

'

the

the

occasion

science, that

corner.

paper

to

Botting asserted,

until

who

with

out,

of

roots.

boy,' said

write
'

in

same

(the missing

this

upon

emollients

dock

the

temporarilyindisposedwith

man

doctor

that down,
with

Schroder,

of

baldness

upon

was

and

of tonics

eye

bar-parlour of

presently Dr.

but

'

say,

hope you'llmanage

blood-poisoning).

reviewed,

might

replied in

conclave

the

of

merely said,

another

as

the

in

turned

the conversation
member

sure

he

being, and

time

sovereign badly/

for the

me

entitled

himself

all that he reckoned

had

me

The

early.

ing
followingmorn-

He

possessed,

136

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

need

hardly

Limited

Company,
"i

of

tell you

of
'

'

ordinary

29,960
I

cannot

'

Tanner,

R.N.,

Schroder
the

board

after

Ship Hotel,

allotment.

If you

'

it

privately just

in

the

Schroder
Mr.

confidential

rather

his
told

Schwarzchild,

that he

had

dazzled

been

of

had

never

this

the

by

'

science, and

in

indifference, he
He

that

who

was

towards
him
not

the

by

he
that

of

he

still believed

quite reduced

'

to

was

there
Mr.

!'

last he

at

his

in

so

had

hand

"

of

man

Schwarzchild's
was

fortune.

Schwarzchild,
softened

man,

stranger, and

But,

to

fortune

offered

No, sir,'
repliedSchroder.
that.

But

orphan,

an

distressed

generously disposed

sovereign.

work

appealed

making

held

weep.

disappointedyoung

out

He

that

chance,

to

the

Schmitz,'

Mr.

man

which, despite Mr.

contrived

even

should

'

tactics.

discovery recently made

will join

office !' cried

we

this

turn

prospect

discovery

'Captain

I,' suggested Schroder,

him
a

good

so

offices

my

undertone.

merchant,

changed

Leave

and

be

Fuller, Mr.

Mr.

prefer that

you

"

shrieked

'

time,

you

Temporary

Halliford.'

Schwarzchild.

out

"

of my

Botting,who

Dr.

myself

follows

as

Schroder:

out

Belcher,

Major

that is

"

Will

'

'Directors,'read

to

more

any

sir,'
interruptedthe financier.
as

Shares.

payable

shares

you

spare

shares

30,000

Founders'

are

40

Restorer

Hair-

Bolting

,"30,000 in
capital,

whereof

each,

Issue

The

that

there

'

I'm

shall

HOSPITALITY

be

element

no

this

of favour

rid of
the

it

after

was,

much

to

secured

all

rightsin

Schroder

ran

into the

and

money

^5.'

And
to

pay

get

Schwarzchild

persistenta visitor,Mr.

so

of

sum

all,not

137

I will sell you

in the matter,
nominal

the

receipt for

feelingthat

DIFFICULTIES

UNDER

paid

the

Dotting

road

opposite

nostrum.

One

the
'

morning

Anchor

Come

and

his face.
1

Then

There's

Fm

fellows

in, you

not

he

allowed

his

of

and

she

The

four boon

little bar.

'

whiskies,

one

gin,

And

won't

'

Oh,

'

mind

Ah,

My

you

large and

that

if I have

thafs

with

the

air

of

said

glass, and
two

and

she

was

entered

she

Schroder

thus

to

suddenly,

and

want

"

brandy,

one

seltzer

divided.

Middleditch

?'
I

the

to

debit
Mr.

took

the

of

No.

the

her
of

amount

While

22.

the

you,'

to

she raised

as

Bennett
in

love

My

enter

drinks

humming

peeress,

while.

the

Benedictine.'

served

the company

engaged,

We

cordially,
adding,

damsel

proceeded

tenpence

'

little drop of

the

graciouslyto

Miss

lady languidly,

banished

companions

The

melancholy melody
she

22.'

small

young

right,'said

number's

yourself,Miss

join us

thanks,' said

don't
1

and

Scotch

best

yet know

Good-morning,

let's

two

over

whisper,

doesrit

politely.

"

all

exultant

an

Middleditch,' said Schroder

see

friends.

cried, beaming

added, in

credit f
the

into

trooped

!' he

barmaid,

new

three

stopped

landlord

situation

at

138

glance.
'

this

the

Now

'

is

deal

give
'

Before

'

know

they

I call
*

'

how

rights

he

contrived,
of

why

counter

should

we

of

try

those

I don't

you,

want

be

to

match.

Schroder.
I've

kept

'em

Mr.

not

think

little

they

too

long enough.'

he

you

like

strong,

stolen.

weeds

that

I
I

will
?

hope

but

know,

perhaps.

see

proffered

I think

"

lay

don't

instant

lit their

you'll
green,

pade.
triflingesca-

that

Schroder;

which
I

and

had

unpleasant,
And

'

he

spoke

abstract

But

Bennett?'

he

as

box
'

it is.'

what

to

do.

you

I exceeded

;' and

such

about

They're

is business.'
same

him.

which

of yours.

one

before

cigar,

thank

'Well,

from

soothingly,

Bennett,

cigars

quarrel

Have
one

by

unseen

as

I admit

say.

solitaryoccasion

sixpenny

the

on

open

on

well

Schroder

said

rage
out-

an

landlord

theft, that's

to

Schroder.

the

as

vantage
ad-

take

what

retorted

not

are

you

pleaded

situated

thing

distinctly

ladies

and

exclaimed,

know

Bennett,

It's

this

my

couple

hush

Bennett,'

serious

young

Mr.

you're

come,

that's

my

nonsense

it dishonest.

Come,

You

!
!

guests

Oh,

bad.

credit,

Hush

he

Schroder/

that
you

'

my

P
'

too

understanding
to

Mr.

then,

great

allowed

'

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

ness
busiat

the

cigar,' said
I

doubt

if

CHAPTER

Vernon"

Percy

Stone's"
The

PEurope

The

sporting
and

teetotum,

"

hunters

VIII

and

their

tailors

how

methods"

The

de

Cafe*

"

The

it

spin

to

Half-crown"

Haymarket

flower-girls

"

Polly.

IT

in

was

that

the

first
his

made

met

has

nothing
comes

the

of

had
his

Jis

in

Mr.

good

deal

of

There

used

stump

of

selling
anatomy

affectation
of

fact,

in

his

to

in

ceased

As

at

the

those

far

!'

as

the

before

extremely

days

breast-bone.

ping
drop-

like

one

unconscious.
little

wizened

Piccadilly

about

one

of

soldiers.

fancy,

days

as

Jenny

generally

crawled

who

humanity

matches.

those

who

good-tempered.

was,

R.N.,

was

chick-a-leary

humour
be

'

just

talking

Kipling's

Rudyard

exclaim

imperturbably

Percy

Lyveden).

Sebright,

Vernon

1882

then

young

Baron

appears

Percy

and

"

of

only

in

who

stage,

he

does

and

curious

character

Captain

curtain.

good-natured
He

of

'

Route

third

the

(or

?),

on

Overland

London

now

say

'

amusing

the

part

to

the

very

is

the

played

of

on

(who

He

fall

debut

Vernon

he

revival

could
It

his

see,

was,

as

it

140

RANDOM

animated

an

were,

itself
this

REMINISCENCES

bust

its hands.

along with

afternoon.

he

me,

I observed

and

Vernon

Vernon

puzzled expression for

to

propelled

the

object strugglingalong

unfortunate
one

wheels, which

on

seconds

few

in

inquired

gazed

it with

at

then, turning

undertone,

an

ment
pave-

Lame,

ain't 'e ?'

In

played
the

valet

my

third

act

remember

bench.

He

he

bars

of

said

he,

'

I should
on

bio wed
Vernon
look

and

into the

where

him.

twenty

punch.

the

There

were

'ow

at

ago

had

air.'

more

gather round
Mr.

were

at

few

'

'Ello !'

night ?'

about

my

finished,and
'

Ho,

that

be

'urn Italian !'

Stone's
and

the

you,'said I,

were

often, after

back-room

to

same

'/can't

used

years

Oh, if

told
At

drop-scene.

orchestra

the

Vernon

society used

'

do, and

on.

there

stone

Bancroft

came

Well, but

'

until

to

goin' to play that

humming

!' cried

he

on

more

when

the

inquired.

wait

as

with

on

them

for

of

if I

terrace,

arrange

Vernon

beginning

come

discovered
up

is Bucalossi

?' he

go

he

take

to

Yes,' I told

then

on

to

eager

air

an

rehearsal

music

'ummin'
*

hum

might

final dress

'

always

was

the

at

accordingly enchanted

was

him

rugs, and

some

'

Commons

scene

had

he

"

and

and

evening

an

"

Lords

'

Pressinger,and

rightly

cushion

he

play of

Pinero's

Graves,

the

theatre,

in Panton
a

very

bowl

the

to

Street,
politan
cosmo-

of

rum

engraver

SPORTING

Harding;

Major

and

an

old

sing

an

old-fashioned
Brown.'

Parson

'

Stone's

But
the

hands,

changed

introduced,

was

partly, I think,

savings

in

protest

as

William

alterations.
their

old

our

two

William, who
stand

forty or
in

the

were

to

fiftyverses
of

old-fashioned

members

time
boxes

of

system

tion
ventila-

died

off

these

against
and

and

up

course

Tom

business, and, I

Warrior

Admiralty

an

Eve

upholstered in plush, some

were

"

fangled
new-

invested

afraid,came

am

grief-

to

There

Stone's.

Most

Street, and
all

the

was

of them

were

others

('you

late

the

tailors,'as
the

sportingsnip who

getting,from

mixed')

"

can't

Lord

point

There

Thurston,

braces,

from

two

St.

expect

of

the

doors

James's

'em

that

view,

various
maker

at

be

to

remarked

tradespeople

were

to

back-parlour

complained

representing

Mr.

used

Hardwicke

neighbourhood
was

the

tailors from

social

others

the

in

morning

every

which

friends

society of

was

assemble

to

of

of

Tom

used

song

name

others, all smoking

Year's

Yorkshireman,

was

about

Warr,

and

New

every

whose

part

three

or

William

long clay pipes.

waiters, and

greater

two

his friend

Office, and

Henry

141

bootmaker,

the

Hastings

barrister

Court

War

old

an

owned

forget, who
Square,

the

of

Adolphus Glover,

'SNIPS'

the
'

Hunt

terribly

from

the

industries.
of

off, there

tible
indestrucwas

the

142

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

of

maker
saddler

pyjamas

from

which

from

further

all events,

at

their information

wonderfully
I used

Monday

in

to

bottles

round

the

Geldenstern,

pale

from

over

of

'another

magnum'

Scotch

by

One

Mall)

accosted

with

'

while

champagne,

every

success,

little

poor

in the

stood

front-bar,

anaemia, sourly surveying them

*

Pore

me

peevishly, as

me

!' he

pays

for

order

an

forth

shouted

was

broad

in

McNab

purple-faced Mr.
'

me.

broad

ony

the

on

the

day

me

for

source,

was

maker.
military-accoutrement

said, with
tell

to

it

sporting tailors/as they

'

glassof gin-and-water.

exclaimed

once

Whence
but

know,

infallible

bookmaker,

financial

that

speculationon

I don't

the

see

bond

interest in

an

genericallystyled,sitting,rosy

were

The

genius for selectingwinners.

some

still.
was

the

and

corner,

this littlebrotherhood

hbrse-racing,or,

they got

the

round

doors

few

united

sport, and

from

beg

caa'd

maan

Pall

pardon, sirr/

your

Glasgow dialect,

thing aboot

(of

'

but

he

caan

ye

He's

Darrley ?

stage, I believe/

What

do

you

him

about

know

to

want

?'

asked.
'

Well,

three
let him

he's been

suits of

to

ma

clothes, and

haave

them.

It's

place and
I'm
a

ordered

two

just wondering
maatter

of

aboot

or

will I
five-

and-twenty poon.'
'

I think

if I

were

you/

said, that I should

'

ask

144

RANDOM

McNab

assaultingMr.
law

ever

of

one

the

of

T Europe,

few

doors
hands

frequentlychanged
yet succeeded

afforded

in

and

making

endless

used

and
journalists,

of

detective
'

the

day

as

called.

are

with
familiar

are

for

forgive me

or

pushing
other

the

with
a

friend

told
as

wouldn't

or

'

me,

much
be

amusing

turn

up,

taken

6.

with
who

on

at

knew

what

as

'

the

with

at

me

by
one

was

readers

will,I hope,

benefit

of

the

end, only

spinning

so

way
was

up,
an

on

the

it will

American

Piccadilly/' my

"

well, he

did.

live

by surreptitiously

There

"

who

one

but

the

several

of my

toy

touts,

with

This

other

top the
a

were

showed

Such

through,and

stem

or

them

contrivance.

spin

you

acquainted

got

know

of

explaining it for

3 will

the

end,

expose
I

or

friends

stem.

it

Scotland

occasionallya

One

this

When

remainder.
i

with

The

money-lenders'

gentlemen

movable

one

neighbourhood,

flash

ingenious

very

teetotum

the

as

no

There

the

I made

two.

or

boys/

their wits

and

It has

frequent

to

entertainment.

actors,

Cafe

there.

fortune

that

the

but

"

the

for

street.

names

lumberers,' confidence-men,

Yard

old

prudent

was

the

up
"

company

me

Theatre

respectable tradespeople from

'

the

call,'however,

Haymarket

miscellaneous

of

'house

regular

members

has

as

goes.

The

de

REMINISCENCES

seemed

Racing, cards,

anything.

One

morning

to

he
I

TO

HOW

and

got up
the

Seth,"

meets

my

I.

"How

says

down

start

kiddie

been

he'll miss
miss

All of

Hullo!"

"

that, I

Not

bit

last I says,

with
for

this

after
bar

they

pause,
the

across

and

to

"

And

all down

way

there

whose

shout."
he.

spinning

and
shillings,

that

dollars,
I'd lifted

o'clock

in

it is

turn

started

we

the

"

?" says

is my

off of him.'

pounds

sently
Pre-

insist,"says

see

twelve

before

And

that.
yours

"this

and

And

on

of

And

then,

little bit of

Two

Chairmen

calls it.'

old

of

unfailing source
Cafe

derelicts who

there

got

we

I.

spin

I'd

or

you

own."

What's

Yank,

top."

hundred

Another

one,

Let's

kiddie's

two

"

it," says

little

littlebeggar !
as

kids

bar.
my

sovereigns,and

juston

the

says

"

drinks, and

and

the

our

passionatelyfond

I'm

about

away

for

poor

Poor
much

as

we

this bloomin'

up

some

'is top.

say,

he, and

I've got five of my

of

'ere's

"

sently
Pre-

'Mornin',

"

Chairmen

I kicks

note.

to

no,"

"No,

At

dare

"

says

gets

we

I.

dropped

yarning

got

we

I,

gutter of

curb.

?" says

Two

sudden

says

and

children,"I

the

friend.
you

the

ten-pound

are

the

in

teetotum

Yankee

towards

first drink.

top.

'ere

just alongsideof

Haymarket
I

"

lay this

145

TEETOTUM

SPIN

each
till

de

1'Europe

would

punctualto

arrive
his

night,ready

to

was

entertainment
the

in the

little band

morning

one

time, and
self-appointed
drink, lunch,

at

of

by
sit

borrow.

or

10

146

RANDOM

saw

of

one

day.
another
cafe

luncheon

vicarious

I believe

the

late

his

at

was

plantationsand

bar-room

sits
for

work,

reason

for

doing

once.'

He

wilfullyexaggerates

his

clothes

'

'

to-day ;

harrowing

half-crowns

Shillingsand

me

I need

alms

but
man

Oh

I don't
who

can

that must

might

he

good Samaritan,

be

have
some

it

yes,

was

that

see

afford

pretty
made
years

he

to

pour

well
it

"

don

with

of

appeal

to

the

old

an

blacking

to

use

and

kind

of

could

have

am

been

said

him,

of

know.

sure

assisted

have

wards,
aftercourse,

less.

done

oil and

contented
dis-

most

met.

would

it was

as

of little

is

fourpence,dash

ago

He

signifies
generally,

ever

off,you

of

question of King's

about

is

shabbiness

will

thieves

fallen among

that, if he had
the

he

gentleman

be

Meakins

recipientof

by

It is

of

up.

wishes

coif

the

suppose,

the

he

at

corner

turn

was

would

gold.

brokers, etc/

taxes,

to

blacked

has

he

he

when

which

This

boot.

'

sentiments,

your

billycock hat,

like

no

indeed,

especiallyto
(

in the

something

the

other

or

bench

of

owner

prosperous

somehow

on

to

huff.

pathetically,
partly,I

remarks

often

time

slaves, but

waiting

custom

rafflingobjets dart

one

'reduced,' and

now

other

landlord

the artist left in

buffet,and

Meakins

his

to

the

only

transferred

tavern.

objected

Meakins,

Mr.

them,

has

He

REMINISCENCES

like

wine
I think

it all !'

the afternoon

he
member
re-

before

Christmas
called

Day

for you

Christmas
Boom's

banquet.'

off

few

days

face

He

crossed

the

and

I don't

Meakins.

'

they drove
later

to

Boom

said

You

take

the wilds

simply.

'

sently
pre-

of sausages.

to-morrow's

get it home/

Maida

Vale.

wearing

withal

bird

cab/ said Boom,

Meakins

Toughest

the

to

returned

to

of

swindled

were

road

your

how

resigned,pathetic,but

'

to

We'll

got

heartily,there's

know

met

well

to-morrow.'

pound

all events,

at

Now

'

'

he

to

exclaimed

he

the

very

youve

home

large goose

contribution,

and

say

go

to

There, Meakins/

grumbled

dare

'

and
neighbouringpoulterer,

with
'

merry

face softened.
of

him

Christmases," 'snapped

"

dinner

where

tavern

Oh, it's all

'

peevishly.

journalist

heedlesslywished

season.

talk about

to

Meakins

shop

the

of

compliments

the

into

came

and
sitting,

was

147

big,burly,benevolent

"

Boom

Jack

Meakins

DERELICT

DISCONTENTED

his

on

pression.
forgivingex-

that

over

goose/

put

ever

knife

into/
One
found

day

waiting for

Meakins

expression.
Martined

hat.

that

in

said

was

firmly.

besides, I'm
do

the

into

went

He

This

'

For

rather

one

it

No,

of

was

my

thing I

tired

1*Europe

de

the

Day-and-

his gas,
dear

and

gone
woebe-

extra

an

wearing

time
'

with

me

was

jeopardy.

Cafe

think,

Meakins/

can't afford it.

And,

when

you

helping

nothing to help yourself. You

you

never

out

go
10

"

and

148

RANDOM

look

for work.

drinks
to

ceilingof

if

even

don't

Appointments

when

he's

isn't

question of that/

If

refusing.

I'm

doing regular work

small

job

week

you

until you

slunk
'

I'm

But

way.

happy

something

regret that he had

into

the

cafe,

defiantlyon
'

thought

give

it

the

I took

I did, for

'

to

find

you

other

heart, I

settled

I've

work.'

'That's

thing to

have

nothing

for

day

think

for

more

he

about

expressing
him

take

to

me

by

beaming

came

cocked

here.
!

rather

down

right/ said
long spell

I say,

did

you

Quite right,though,
word

every

assure

done, because
a

small

Hullo, old chap !' he cried,

Perfectly true,
it

in

yourself.' Meakins

sailor-hat

side.

hot

me

how

care

thing

afterwards

straw

might

quite right!
And

for

allowed

days

one

Look

"

muttering something

ever

few

reason

say,

again

you

being jolly cheap,' and

the hand.

to

me

my

don't

if I'll do

dejectedly away,

advice

you

It

'

asked

You

and

"

help

to

dashed

do

Meakins.

me
"

to

easy

be, if it's only five shillings

a

may

I shall be

"

to

here, I'm
the

It's very

giving

you'llcome

do.

to

any

people'slaps through

I said.

refuse, and

fuddled

too

had

you

down,' whined

man

for

home

public-house.'

day long consuming

go

into

drop

kick

help you.

all

for, and

pay

work,

any

sit here

You

that others

do

the

REMINISCENCES

And

you.
now

I.
after
'

to

I'm

glad

regularweekly

'It's

really a

one's

'Oh,

said.

you

been
I

didn't

fine

doing
find

HOW

much

BORROW

TO

once
difficulty

Meakins

replied
nothing

'

?'

have

Capital!'

I cried.

work

?' I asked.

yes/

he

replied.

Pearson's

"Savourless/'
Poor

week.

and
in

as

had

bark,

friend
he

failed

shout, and

Leekins.

apex

'

of my

thickening of

'

an

But

are

overcoat

answered

as

at

ten

you

sense,

I got

actor,

an

It

Got

cough

base

of

days.'

?'

'

Leekins.

to

was

of

the

close

be

Good
out

But

three

in this

how

from
'

my

!'

cavity in

hen's

egg,
of

the

haemorrhages
!' I exclaimed.
wind

east

madness,
am

of

Cough

left,the whole

heavens

It's absolute
'

size of

to

combination

I've got

I've had

'

He

day, early

One

?' I asked.
'

of

journalist,

as

proceeded

voice.

rightlung the

wise

instead

barely thirty.

wail, and

hollow

the

"

for

in

gone

singularnumber

was

caf6.

pleura is congested,and
in the last

In

was

literary

extraordinaryreport

an

in the

in
replied,

the

he

doctor,

I heard

I stood

as

is this

boarding-house proprietor.

March,

me

as

it

moment

the

know.'

you

Leekins

failed

said

Savoury

"

things considering that

had

Bass/

missing-word competitions.

it this

near

will you

is, I've

fact

big

mean

?'
journalistic

The

"

what

what

And

Is it

"

another

in

his throat.

Er

small

collar/

literarywork

it may
'

I'll have

prodigal, and

hissingdown

very

but

the

to

up

It's

tremendous,

Thanks,

'

returned

these

cheerily.

very

money

neck

got my

149

COAT

to

of

get

without

course/
a

great-

150

RANDOM

?'

coat

REMINISCENCES

wearing

was

greenish, brownish
and

said

you

this,because

him

to

It's
But

coat

always

exercised

The

recur.

for the

start

ulster.

sought

lettingme
a

have

that

for ?' I

relieved

that

I had

he

interest
about

"

and

two

Let

have

me

once/

coat

after I

an

towards

the

cafe*, where
about

to

in

an

the

end
I

greet

hour's

see

of
saw

me,

spasmodically and,

September)
my

friend

when
with

his
a

What's

'

He

looked
'

Only

be

the

six months

if
way

you're

"

in

twopence.

"

he returned

(itwas

in

day

at

He

Leekins.

sudden

my

chillyday

I looked

features

me

The

rectitude.

Scotland

from

pulled

I'll bring it back

and

time

mind

you

there'll

to

of my

me

situation.

each

bus

about

was

pause.

of conscious

air

coat

soul, did

Leekins

threepence. Then,

back

came

'Then

my

lost

his chin.

grasped

be

the

Would

'

twenty-fivebob,

And

with

after

said.

hurry for it,there'll

hill.

comes/

bethought

bagatelle. Let's

mere

the

And

?' I said.

coat

asked,

eighteen bob,'

at

when

long face,and pensivelyrubbed

it in

for

lend

land.
Scot-

to

summer

of

cry

Leekins.

out

take

colour

followingAugust

Highlands

only

instantaneouslybeneficial

an

effect,for that cough, like the

not

this off

can

his thanks.

profuse in

was

it till the

to

yellowish,

I took

are.

you

it's a

welcome

have

must

Here

particularly
good

you're

Leekins

'

time

of ulster.

sort

the

at

the
was

contracted

jerk

like

the

RANDOM

152

REMINISCENCES

breakfast, when

his

guest

the

ask

the

curiosityto
Malkin

Mr.

had

of

present
he

asked
One

to

Hallo

Come

Where's
that

moment

'

Yes,

have

fancy/

his Poole-made
if

'

him

to

'

Then,

Malkin.

'

Three

the

air

and

hove

half

his

he

'

and

caught

it

stuff."
At

Oxford,
in

sight.

with

some

?'

you

in

sovereign,

snapped

creditor, he invited
You

tossed

But

?'

from

can

soda
the

again,

too,

come,

grudgingly

whiskies
as

"

any

right, that'll do/

to

are

youth, fumbling

Here's

muttered

ordered, adding,
into

All

how

about
shillings

hostelryopposite.

the

Lacy.

five

ployed.
em-

drink.

Malkin

cried

the

turning

like/ he

if you

honours,

stammered

pocket.

you've

have

'

patriciansupers

Lacy/
got

trifle

was

Malkin,

exquisitefresh

you

me

he

haven't

"

young

de

yes,

shillin'

two

owed

where

and

way

theatrical

then, Mr.

Now

asperity,
'

our

young

aspirant to

an

'

of

one

Oh

give

for

he

theatre

moment

one

whom

responded

the

over

wait

just

!'

'whether

He

had

with.'
to

the

outside

him
'

you

friend

host

present.'

his I.O.U.

oblige him

morning

hailed

and

"

me

her

drudge, beaming.

sixpence

the

gone,

maid-of-all-work

made

sir,'replied the

had

to

Mr.

de

divided/ he

half-sovereign
'

Light

come,

lightgo.'
The

still lend
flower-girls

Haymarket

picturesquenessto

neighbourhood, though

am

sorry

the
to

'POLLY'

that

observe

marvellous
and

they

Polly (no

the

flower-sellers

from

Greuze

her

bright

blue

robbed

her

of radiant

agent,
the

de

for
and

at

1'Europe

or

eight

years

ten

active

as

motherhood.
called

'

beaming

'im

John.
bring

I'll

just

show

yer.' And,

months
the

caf"

'im

with

her

can't
'ere

midnight,

in

peacock-blue plush
fluted

well

as

to

dressed

lined with

only

confided

set

she
him

homage.
Mother

salmon-coloured

help

one

enough,

him

but

she

all

bonnet

while

event

pride

that
a

flar,dee' ?'

all the

counter

do

not

with

first-born,and

might

frequents

reappeared

down
sure

afterwards, towards

who

domestic

Nobody

'im.

to

she

dear,'

admire

insurance-

an

Ave

for

ever,

'

ago

when

'E's

teeth,

merry

not

actor

Polly's

days,

dimmed

not

purse-stringsdo

Polly'spresence

her

winning expression
is

whose
of

of

us

about

IVe

her

of

Hay-

changed

assailed
its

been

the

in

has

There

magic

"

popular

trade

but

of

the

six

robbed

face

unadorned

most

has

picture-dealer,
nor

nor

Cafe"

Some

nor

eye,
rosy

their

Rubens,

good-nature.

flyopen

to

the

Time

neighbourhood.

feathers,

of character.

years

ply

their

patronymic) has

her

who

ostrich

severely
out

twelve

or

abandon

to

with

"

and

knows

one

ten

past

market

nor

sailor-hats

to

unbecoming

are

for the

beginning

are

picture-hatsladen

taking

which

153

of

us.

but

evening
very

few

entered
the

on

He

was

Hubbard

silk, and

RANDOM

154

he

had

on

leather

REMINISCENCES

brand-new

collected

affable.

supported

the

drank

John's

later that

weeks

in with

Polly came

with

down
at

dears, the
come

do

love

They

she

hung
a

on,

then

kindliness.

one

day, a

until

one

burst

out

'

immediately dipped

little

doors

under

One

let

They

And

they

arst

me

weeks
the

few

the

goodlife

baby's

poor

worse

of

I've lost

weeping.

recalled

three

or

are

Christmas-tree

The

morning,

swing

Polly entered.

two

leave

they
'

they

she

joy as

for

Christmas, the
and

of

balance

little better

so

think

he

us

to

Oh,

time.

any

avail.

no

had

'

few

told

and

exclaimed.

d'ye

beam

nurses'

in the

!' she

one
Every-

of

had

she

if I got 'im off of

me

gave

been

at

toyed

learned

we

Hospital.

What

grimaces

tout.

face

'im almost

see

John.

arst

natured

there

nurses

in and

me

but

anxious

Cross

the

at

who

playfulclutches

made

bronchitis,that

Charing

head-gear

barmaids

racecourse

health

an

his

as

cooed

toasting had

our

echoed

money-lender, and

the

lightfingerof

raff
riff-

exceedingly

smart

he

benevolent

of the

beak

and

rear

kindly low comedian,

of the

him

in the

him

two

and

was

(as fondly

patent-

calf.

babe

himself

permit)against the

would

was

nestled

He

the

round

Polly's praises. John

with

the

boots, coming half-way up

court

the

of enamelled

pair

"

he

next,

days

and

before

the

cafe

John

!' she

cried, and

smart

barmaids

of the
her

counter

flew

got

and

back

came

and

forward
and

arms

took

hat

set

much

so

called

coloured

'

If I 'ad

asked

would

me,

with

which

of

highly,and

stolen

from

only

other

The

which

in
autumn

one

raise
and
to
a

loan

Mary
console

Anne

very

financial
was

any

is
her

she
the

wrap,

history
an

prized

when

sorry

sented
pre-

her

I gave
I

course

course

at

take

later when

her
last

tude
magni-

Polly

was

wished

she

to

herself,father, mother, brother,

whom

(a baby

'Well,

any

with

engaged

years

her, poor

operation of

ever

thing !

hopping expedition.

I asked.

Of

exchange.

was

of

me.

some

to

picture-

ironed/ she
'

and

goodness only knows,

giftvery
was

due

in

in

no

about

wore

it ?'

wear

one

humbler

possessed of

and

splendid Oriental

uninterestingnew

it

she

And

the

and

the

neckerchief, what

washed

this

would,' I answered.
me

silk

you

accept

butterflybow

kingsman,' which

shoulders.

to

gratitude knew

only object she

huge

was

pretty

very

expenses

enormous

an

in her

days later,her

few

by
The

Polly

Her

store.

her

met

crape.

value

was

black/ by which

bit of

'

surmounted

black

It

funeral

the

towards

purchase of

bounds.

her.

of

mother

shabby

poor,

155

HOPPING

presently prevailed on

sum
trifling

classes

the

much

made

sight.

OF

EXIGENCIES

THE

'

apologetichesitancy,
'

for the

loss

much

do

How

see,

yer

want

had

Providence

dear,' said
a

good

of
you

sent

John)

on

want

?'

Polly, with

deal.

There's

156

RANDOM

four

or

of

two

do

things
it

all

'oppin

go

fashion

plages

countin'

not

noo

can't

cant

of

us,

of

REMINISCENCES

that

Dieppe

'ave

should

under

prevail

to

shillin's.

ten

anyow?

and

Anne,

Mary

Evidently
in

Trouville.

Kentish

and

buy.
Yer

there's

I'm

afraid

know,

there

fields

one

laws

are

as

yer

on

the

CHAPTER

season'

'Summer

'

dead-head

'

the

at

'

IX

'

full

House

advertisement

"

beggars

pious

A
"

Stage-

"

distressed

crossing-sweeper

the

of

meanness

"

Bold

"

door

The

Haymarket

"

foreigner.

is

NOTHING
the

holding

as

"12
that

structural

certain

we

or

of

considerably

believe
had

that
had

for
the

business.

pleasant
revival

prolonged

twenty-two

had

little
of

to

vogue,

triple

bill,

but

not,

was

the

The

in

which

did
and

pioneer

afterwards

unfortunately,

hottest

Fisheries,'

the

year,

the

it

amount.

company
I

programme.

the

that

be

made

nowadays

was

exhibition

excellent

an

have

modest

1884

perience)
ex-

however,

that

years.

particular

chanced

London

of

summer

from

speak

that

than

more

the

whatever

and

the

summer

Harrison

alterations,

to

one,

understand,

and

Maude

able

am

for

(I

than

eye

to

it

held

it

night.

Messrs.

holds

time

regard

rented

once

that

At

season.

theatre.

the

by

gauge

with

authority

Haymarket,

to

of

capacity

with

speak

difficult

more

far

west

all

the

very
of

the

had

during

my

158

RANDOM

six weeks
with

his

of

who

beau

fenced, had
seldom

ably

assisted

Miss

the

in

'

Morning

'

with

forgetwhich,
All

parts.
some

away.

the

them.

notices

the

of

'

complimentary
hotter

few

pretty

gross
ones,

They

cost

of

with

Japanese
raised

for

the

up

the

bill

Tiger/

favourable,

writing by
to

sign.

night before.

fans

principal

I had

passes

birds

in the

Two

'

hand-

the

frock.

public stayed

'

than

most

used

most

were

was

costumes

in the

me

enthusiastic, but

Every night waxed

very

and

the

with

Minutes

and

say,

made

wound

permanently injured my

the number

We

violin,

Empire

farces, either

Kemble

press

them

of

bought

old

Twenty

or

who

afterwards

').

Austin

Beau

to

"

Victor, Harry

A.

designed

were

of the broad

one

and

the

stage.

foulard

white

sketches

M.

called

principalpart

the

JuliaGwynne,

period 1810,

myself .(my
dresses

Miss

Walter

we

played

of

old-

an

by

good things

centre

clever

by

engaging ingdnue in
I made

the

of

left the

and

Conway,

the

danced, sang,

most

who

played

by

which

Lion/

du

in which

Evergreen/
old

Reveil

as

JuliaGwynne

version

in

Kemble

followed

was

comedy,

Le

'

Miss

evening

Reeves

Tug, Henry

This

two-act

Pollock

with

Sims

(withsong),and charming

fashioned

the

began

young

Tom

of

part

Wilhelmina.

an

with

Waterman/

father's

as

We

of management.

The

Robin

REMINISCENCES

from

and

nearly threepence

Liberty's,

flowers
each

upon

whole-

160

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

happy

am

the

since

ever

to

that

say

Mr.
which

positionto

the

was

theatre, I
hard

very

that, had

through

theatre

to

on

the

two

have

him

kept

who

and

who, besides
the

in

took

head
I very

refuge

in the

to

offer

for

had

with

come

to

sovereign,which

his wife

and

seats

crimson

and
fortnight,

reflected,

off.'

blushed

down

!' I

him

old derelict

poor

for

stalls for himself

chap

poor

to

purchased
and

come

see

act.

me

the

house, I told

out.

'

House

few

Stalls
full.'

quarter of

an

the

later

minutes
full.'
'

hour

'

Balcony

Standing
my

to

of

eye

all the

put
the

by

these

room

'

boards
was

ments
announce-

Gallery

only.'

in

^8

passer-by

full.'

receiptswere

People inquiredeagerly :

only

was

people

my

Accordingly

arrested

there

when

night,

One

pigeon-hole,planked

might

and

long way

later

shame, for I found

mine

misfortunes.

kindness

no

minutes

few

of

touched

help him,

to

steps

past.

go

theatre, for he lives

the

the

heel

the

on

friend

shabby,

financial

my

be

old

poor
very

of

let him

it would

the

positionitself

standing

was

little bit

I can't afford

and

and

up

series

turned

saw

been

meanly

afternoon, when

of the

had

improved considerably.

course,

One

retained

chance

by

pleasureof promoting him, though

has, of

has

Leverton

full.'

Within

exactlydoubled.

PRESERVING

Can

'

stand

we

'Certainly,if
Leverton

and

at

up

wish,' replied the

There
for

first

night and

inconvenience
first

front

of the
call

to

picked
and

handed

one

of my

where

him

him

the

on

downstairs.

of his letter

side

He

cowardly attempt

opinion/

the

to

to

of

his

the

me

burke

an

which

'

was

his
He

feet,
was

trousers

neighbours from
at

last

gallerystaircase,
an

of

excess

zeal,

knocked

and

protest againstmy

expressionof

repliedby acknowledging
"

my

in the

of his

head
a

the

keep

another, until

the

wrote

shuffle

seat

of

on

to

pit?'

in
light-weight,

End

East

So

individual
to

the

heads

market

Hay

fightingmen

the top of

at

1884,

as

missing pit,to

an

sturdy stewards

an

struck

few

Where's

the

himself

found

the

overture

not

was

of the audience.

his collar and

over

on

gallerybegan

out,

by

up

it

to

way

late

as

muster

for

rest

the

During
row

and

'

of the

night I engaged

order.

he

to

clamour

their

night.

tendency,even

malcontents

few

still a

was

their

However,

play every

obliging

playgoerspaid

hurriedlymade

parterre.

could

161

of the stalls ?'

the enthusiastic

empty

one

game

the back

you

and
half-sovereigns
the almost

ORDER

the

honest

receipt

evidently written

under

misapprehension.'

some

One
drove

afternoon
up

brought to

to
me

the
that

magnificent carriage and

stage-door,and
I

was

wanted.

message

I went

out,
ii

pair
was

and

162

RANDOM

Gillie

found

for his
the

Gaiety

I didn't

short

be

the

on

have

two

or

noticed

why

see

time

should

I should

of

how

suspect
workmen

they
the

in

the

legend

Brookfield's

out

park

and

horses

the

Duke's

then

bounded

that my

faithful

carriage

That

night we

The
been

the

or

hands

to

home

had

did

not

All

the

had

these

ing
bearCharles

to

on

night
To-

"

posts
lamp-

Gillie called
round

the

splendid pair

of

Street, I discovered
the

covered

gaudy

back

of

announcements.

audience.
quite a distinguished
of the

stage-door has always

happy hunting-ground of
Sometimes

beautiful

Mr.

Twice

the

Suffolk

employes

'

to

variegated

carry

When

!' and

down

with

but

idly stick

coachman,

appeared

"Evergreen"

counters.

neighbourhood

beggar.
super

would

"

relatives,

in circumference

Season

they

such

this conversation

Theatre.

Haymarket

palingsand

the

to

used
inches

10

Summer

!' which
and

'

rich

equipage,

theatre

labels about

gummed

services,

my

actuallyemployed.

were

at

play for

they might, the

Grace's

His

play

place

been

had

stage

well

for
had

During

of the

closelyadmiring, as

japanning

him

who

stage, and

three

take

I would

who

anyone

Beaufort's

if I would

me

him

charge

benefit.'

'

of

shortlyto
told

Duke

ask

to

was

Theatre.

that

him, but
as

called

had

benefit,'which

'

the

in

Farquhar

He

carnage.

REMINISCENCES

he

stage-hand out

will
of

assume

work, but

the
the
he

professional
guise of
is then

apt

DEVOTED

down

break

to

have

to

entirelytook

been

quite,marred

the illusion

by

'

as

have

might

been

coachman,

but

all
it

who

by

since

professed cabman,
known

only
'

You've

in

me

husky

that

and

you

voice.

And

days.7

'

But

Charles

If you
up

black

let

price of

very
and

widow, and

laid up

and

could

the
A

"

few

claimed

produced

subscribing to

set

'Very suddenly

George

!' she

be

to

he

his eye.

You

the

off
'

at

times

'orspital.
to

make

Charles.

.'
.

devoted

in

up

of my

off of my

in the

lady

Thurloe

terrible bad

'alf-crowns

three

old

'Appy days

got chucked

"

went

remarked.

'

the

one

was

called

'

in

deep

old cabman's

list of benefactors

her

up.

in

on

later

weeks

grown

mother,

license,Master

new

had

I've driven

six weeks

'ave

me

the time

Charles.

fallen

I've

Master
justlately,
showfull

Master

was,

in

Charles/ he protested

many's

it was
thirty,

was.

fully

glitteredin

tear

"regulars,"
you

"

Yet

family

showing

own

was

good lady, your

Place, number

those

his

Master

forgottenme,

faithful old

unaccountable

quite

was

address

reflected, this

not

though

to

was

Had

right in

me

nearly,but

which

Charles.'

Master

driven

extravagant

an

very

by pretending

had

He

by.

gone

touch,
artistically-conceived
me

One
in

me

who

cabman

constantlyin days

163

CABMAN

cross-examination.

under

old swindler

clever

OLD

who

were

little business.'
the

last, poor

Very suddenly
II

indeed
2

!'

her

But

heart

her

scuttle home

to

Another

wretch

there

was

the

matter

hall

1889)

with

his

foot

an

other

the

you

One

and

night I

from

Reading

to

at

all you

possessed

her

arrival.

the

apply
sir.
'is

clear

But

why

do

to

you

you,

to

words,

Criterion

sir.

Theatre.

at

me

'E

sir.

I couldn't

me?'

about

tell you
u

Go

to

me

you

'is name,
to

the

sir, but

in

party

to

me

feelin'

Brookfield

Mr.

'E 'as got

'ad

his

?' I asked.

me

was

and

before

infirmaryadvised

the

told

I trusted

approach,
home

'It

lay him

really lived

and

come

you

wich,
Green-

could

sighwhich

from

walked

to

on

he

his

of

had

walk

to

out

discharged

he

existed

her

warn

Williams,

Mr.

just been

heaved

to

bed

next

had

her, if she

told

Who

see

lived, before

time
'

you

show

to

not

to

appealed offensivelyto

still

had

he

And

rest.

he

said

to

out

Infirmary, whence

Greenwich,

give

leg

that

appearance

his wife

reach

might

this

cause

appalling

that he

day, and

down

the

into

came

you

could

called

was

He

sense.

where

by surreptitiously

one.

every

that

(when
hideous

something

before

ruffian, who
ill-looking

an

"

leg;

he

him

cheerfullygave

had

to

shilling.

the Criterion

at

who

just

was,

such

present

call

was

glad

and

with

husband

to

She

story,

own

'

late

used

he

where

'

in

his

stamping

her

with

work.

her

in

not

was

bored

evidently

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

164

them
at

'eart,
was

the

feelin' 'eart,'e 'as !"

ENVOY

AN

what

tell you

I will

togetherand

meet

followed

by

'eaven's

above,

if he

"even
"

'E

'as

feelin' 'eart

'e said.'

another,"
I

you/
that
A

bob, here

two

gleam

to

fell.

'

it is/

the

and

the

he cried.
about
I

look
you

to

you'd
more

'Well,

see

like
Mr.

close

on

called

And

back

went

bob?'

you

'ere, Mr.
was

be

corridor, he

that two

said, 'if

to

tell

in
or

it/ said
B., it

Mr.
the

at

I.
was

'

like

you

fer

talking to
to

earn

florin.

up

his

miles,

fortyweary

thirsty/he
I

as

after

had

disappeared
B.!'

'Mr.

me.
*

him.

Is that

right

'

truth/
Williams

Swan,

familiar

two

bleed

earnestly. Certainly/

the

me

B./ said

look
one

he asked

bed,

next

stop

and

to

on

trusted/ he sighed,

Then,

add.

you

second, and then

"

as

call

to

can

I held

for

tired,'ungry and

effrontery to

down

'If

And

It's 'ard not

especiallyafter walkin'

footsore

can't

go.

into his eye

came

trew

first,"'e said.

at

you

face,

tellin'

the

in

'eart that

an

"

'Well,

said, turning

features
'

speaks 'arshlyto

As

afraid

party

go.'

to

Williams'

I'm

be

you

the

Brookfield," said

Mr.

blackguards

resignation.

Brookfield,

shillings

where

Mr.

across

Don't

"

another

I'll

'But

two

all you

one

of

Mr.

trewth.

gawspel

I'll give you

flashed

radiance

165

that/ I said.

do.

advise

look of sadness

SWAN

where
truthfully,

you'lltell me,

if

believe

I don't

afraid

Tm

THE

FROM

And

who

this

way/

'Well,
:

'

I think

in Fetter
faces/
sent

said

then,
if

Lane,
'

That's

you

here ?'

my

friend,

166

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

with

leer

and

I looked

that

there

calls 'im
know

"

'

jollywell

was

in

the

at

with

and

I says,

Down

on

"Well,

then,"

for

"you

and

Theayter

Mr.

Williams

cordially,
gave

and

told

to

very

grateful

drew

to

failed

regard

and

the
I

have

St.

day

Martin's

fuls of dust

sir,' he

'Get

my

boots.

said

fellow

You'll

I lost

gaol.
neighbourhood

went

never

buy

'

on,

miss

an'

I've
a

Then,
him

and

us

copper,

'aven't

is my
a

sick

little

it,kind

berread.'

patience with

tion
atten-

my

'eart !

Gawd

brutally.

of

little besom-

Spare

'

feelin'

It is

since.

by brushing

"Ave

later

crossing-sweeper,a

out!'

to

in

in the

day, sir, as

copper,

say,

to

on

was

afterwards, and
him

or

this

awigh.

week

eighteen,attracted

manner

He

months

of about

pleaded.

'ome,' the

is dead

food

tasted

few

when

usual

in the

shillings,

two

Church,

ragged youth

'E's
thanked

annuity.

seen

walking

was

the

little prematurely, and

never

he

says.
to

his

an

operation a

equallylikelythat
One

him

as

Brookie.

bob."

shillingsa

two

repeat

it

called,

He

further

tried

him

o'

we

wrong?

down

go

old

try

couple

What's

"

see

D'yer

"Stony-broke,"

Dick,

says

always good

'e says,

Dick

cheer, Dickie

luck?"

yer

Criterion

"What

and

Pretty

"

world,

the

to

Swan,

leg

sore

And

anything?"

old

good

the

man

broke

judge.'
wife

bibey pinin'
on'y

gentleman
"

at

am

uttered

sorry
an

to

oath.

168

RANDOM

importunate,
will

you

his

The

Upon

he

only

!'

charge.
when

But

petitionerwho

however,

minute,

resumed,

'

in

At

PiccadillyCircus

friend, hailed
The

left

you

scoundrel
a

me

again

close

friend,I'm going
say

front

complain

another

of

me,

to

the

and

to

'

That

in

old

my

the

policeman of

ME

most

little
There

Acre.

charge."
had

German

actually had

happened just

exclaimed,
in

give you

him

infamous

Long
I

by, so

word

from

think

do you
said.

accosted

disappeared.

home.

I received

?' he

policeman

I could
in

me

policeman

good-night to

went

What

without

money,

suitor

our

bade

followingmorning

after

my

cab, and

indignant letter.

was

again

he

yourselfs

were

Another

reallyso

are

you

our

In

Gentlemen/

you

luckedge.'

the

at

one

constable,

'

foreign city,without

sight, and

in

'

vanished.

had

if

more

presently, if

the

reappeared.

Conseeder

friends, without
hove

reached

pelieve that

cannot

hard-hearted.
strented

he

scanty

impostor.

an

! there's

humbly begged

his

give this impudent

I'd

Ah

we

be

Kemble

policeman,

in

blackguard
corner

!' exclaimed

down

course

in

to

the

apout

pleaded, the

and

wept

betray himself

see

to

themselves

bury
he

walk

to

began

tears

If

regonseeder.

to

you

I shell hef

me,

more

word

my

I could

ask

must

and

did
distinctly
'

night ;' and

face

pale

beard.

but

assist

not

all

streets

REMINISCENCES

"

Now,
Before

slipped

the

audacity

He

said

to

had

169

RETALIATION

been
the

him, that he

of

begging

charge,but merely
A

assembled

crowd

utterlydumfounded
before

I could

the
"

first one,

Oh

he's

yes,

from

and

be

said, pointing to

me,

this

me

Road."

The

old

offender.

constable, who

overwhelmed

appeared

on

away

the
don't
;

let

The

again."

and

rage

me

man,

way

to

was

the

were

with

coated

Charing

previous

after
ice

Pass

away,

pass

about

here

with

but

'

I looked
had

I hef
a

annoyed
I hef

Cross

me

able
pardon-

January

Road

there

had
and

foreigner;

pin

been

robbed

roads

I peg

your

accost

you

and

the

little

myself
of

lost my

I hef

recognised

Kemble

my
It

the

right to

"

Suddenly

elbow.
no

on

Station.

cake.

my

round.

'

summer.

like

em

in

was

thaw,

at

heard

menner,

who

gave

Railway

night,

sounded

voice

luckedge/
ruffian

down

frost

pardon, sir,'I
in this

"

the

of

and

glowed

it

"

Underground

hard

familiar

letter

afterwards

bitterly cold

sudden

young

hanging

you

begging

was

evidence

said,

see

please,

if you

resentment.

hurrying

was

and

of the

rest

months

Some
I

shoulder,

to

shy

apparently independent witnesses,

push

German

Court

the

by

and

Tottenham
a

was

was

stranger

He

the

in

afternoon

impudence,

to

pretended

an

ance.
annoy-

well-dressed

another

speak

press

second.

the creature's

at

forward, who

came

in

to

the

of

relieved

be

to

wish

didn't

my

the

purse,

170

and

am

RANDOM

until

hit

on

heroic

call

can

the

at

him

hard

the

curb,

act,

means.'

There

on,

looked

small

the

on

and

but

but

man

it

was

to

very

great

very

the

of

point
took

nobody

was

and

my

about.

heels.

comforting

He

nuisance.

jaw.

one.

fell

He

It

went

up

street.

very

he

Empessy,'

my

without

absolutely

down

was

REMINISCENCES

was

not

flat

CHAPTER

Bohemian
1

Bottle

An
"

"

amenities
"

One

Kemble

Harry
as

conflagrationat

an

and

camaraderie

and

appreciationof
and

when
bound

in

prevails

conscientious

"

Cecil

and

extra-lady'

'

the

New

talk

the

barristers'

who

Year

"

Bohemian

enters

good-fellowship, by

the

spirit of
generous

fellow-artist,by the mutual

prevails among

of

another.

one

to

that

say

intimate

conversation

similar

of

soldiers

of

even

very

parsons'wives,

wives, and

and

Though

gossip

and

esteem

actors

their
distinguishes

soldiers' wives, parsons

and

Tree

"

Majesty'sOpera-House

the

honesty
in

"

Keeley

of Beerbohm

impressed by

which

and

they

be

which

admiration,

actresses,

observer

fail to

can

Arthur

Her

Mrs.

equestrian.

unprejudiced

society

stories

Bancroft

two

or

and

Wigan

earliest recollection

My

unchronicled

Cecil

No

it !'

on

Alfred

Mrs.

"

am

tone

and

barristers

bricklayers and

bricklayers'wives.
I remember
for

once,

playgoers, both

realm

where

there

many

years

ago

ladies

have

since

are

no

(unfortunately
gone

to

critics),
hearing

the
Mrs.

172

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

thus

Candour

of stories

sorts

don't

believe

in my

course,

than

they

every

one

of

that

what

the

had

to

life I've

about

life as

youth,

stilt-walker.

stalk in and

out

to

rally and

assembled

in

summer,

drawing-room

the

sudden

clad

in

muslin

scallop-shell
across

in

of

trace

Ah

"

! that's

there's

nothing

old

change

of
and
the

would

would

Epsom,

at

of
Or

the

in

the

tea

at

startled

by

taking
be

little

her

out

lunched.

dowagers

windows

began

poles, she
the hill

member
re-

us

Wigan,

child, with

on

they

as

of

many

tall

of

coaches

appearance

tawdry

little

say,

Alfred

Mrs.

cajole small

Mayfair,

But

goes.

some

whom

couple

sportsmen

better

weather-beaten

Now,

When

of the

of

Checkers."

Mrs.

our

strapped

open

admire.

delightfulactress
in

and

always

identifyand

to

all kinds

saying

pathetic little figure,

spangles,tendering

balcony

and

her

pleading for

coppers.
At
not

the

time

that

why.

well, no

"

they're all

meet

old and

was

all

heard

I'lltell you

were

the

as

could

used

men

That

be,

there

you

that sort

feet

And

of her

early life.

I believe

them, however

might be,

charm

of

Checkers'

Mrs.

falsehoods.

should

I've

know,

includingplenty who

women,

she

You

of them.

one

behalf

cudgels on

about

of malicious

pack

the

up

Checkers.

friend, Mrs.

Of

take

I knew

the

only universallypopular as

Wigans

they

were

comedians,

but

were

GLIMPSE

that

is

were

Law.

frequentlyhonoured

by

of the

social

It is

that

"

modern

little

some

Keeley
with

Mrs.

unheard

inside

have/

'

without

of

were

his

sister

rehearsal

of

manners

'

and

opinion

Nonsense,
Such
I

Olympic,

arose,

an

would

little

have, dear,'repliedMrs.
'
"

through

claimed
ex-

be
You

more

than

drawing-room

hesitation

!'

know.

to
a

seen

variance

at

thing

ought

Mrs.

dear

my

of

of
you

Keeley,
the

first-

Alfred
very

Wigan

shows

to

that

an

brightest lines.
managing

told

once

me

story which

graphicallythe spiritin

artist is apt

also

gifted

and

the

of

stage

express

moment's

illustrates

which

the

I think

you

her

little apt

directingthe

was

London

the

of

at

less favoured.

dear, that I've

I know
a

histrionic

brother

'

floor windows
Mrs.

her

to

admit, my

the

became

on

And

that

at

she

manageress.

of !

Her

perform

to

say, that

Wigan's.

the

his wife

from

head

question

ventured

command

wondered

among

"

and

the

she

comedy

Alfred

turned

been

day, when

One

must

to

society

raided
successfully

company
be

to

airs

had

artists who

of

is

herself

give

not

rather

success

Leonora

their

bring

to

Windsor.

been

Old

Majesty

to

society was

it had

say, before

to

Financiers

by

society,when

after in

sought

173

SOCIETY

AT

the

regard
author
It

was

Olympic

which

his creations.
may

know

when
Theatre

the
And

nothing

the
in

Wigans
Wych

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

174

The

Street.

play

island.

first

advanced
'

'

bank

(thatis
with

covered

used

to

for

ruin,

then

He

produced

pocket of
admired
the

to

with

the

which

about

to

the

from

the

her.

it go

"

I wanted

Bottle

My

to

nose

Bottle

called

the

you,' she said,

it !"'

on

word

down

applause.

Wigan
ask

bank,'

delightfrom
of

storm

Mrs.

over,

of

'

of his

side

shriek

side-

came

mysteriously:

was

bit of

They're

splendid lot

"

said the

the

rock,

stage castaway,

why

do

glowing with triumph.

"

you

say

Bottle

on

it"?'

inquired

manageress.
do

Why

artist.

of

quick!'
to-night sympathetic! intelligent!

front

'But

was

days

open-air seat).

of

the

coffin,

the

silence,then

deafening

act

that line

'Didrit
in

in

course

like

bottle

black

there

and
the

as

soon

comedian
'

kind

any

moment

audience

As

bench,

exclaimed
forefinger,
At

due

himself, and

to

object rather

footlightsand, smiting

his

low-

placed it upon
reefer-jacket,

his

it for

it !'

on

fact, for

in

or,

The

termed
generically

be

rustic

upon

in the

baize, which, before

green

stood

scene.

stage

to

an

say,

realism,did duty
a

the

had

what

to

scene

represented a sailor,in

He

appeared.

which

in

Wigan

this

watch

to

who

comedian,

was

night Mrs.

One

entrance

there

and

shipwreck occurred,
desert

melodrama,

was

'

say

Didn't

you

it?
hear

repeated
how

they

the

bewildered

roared?'

176

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

in the

given
like

in due
and

final

port, and

into

youth

The

Guests,'

'

his

final

the

into

table

right
of

gulp

so

to

as

reply, when,

at

slight,auburn-haired

his

back

pushed

rose,

president

on

and

notes

room,

of

the

peer

position to

the

of

end

remote

his

at

knuckles

his

dug

himself

hoist

the

glance

toasts,

Irish

distinguished old

something

were

health

the

proposed

course

took

various

After

guests.

200

there

Guildhall, and

addressed

chair, and

company.

'

thank

you

which

you

inflict

and

President

Mr.

from

will

give

Mr.

Irving:

drunk
and

long

you

fit of

imitations

peer

offer

kind

prearranged
through,

gracious

in

the

"

not

but

you,

popular

hear

you

'

way

I will

upon

of

turned

actors.

sund

to

of

despatched

and

thanking

turned
for

Tree

explainingthat
first

must

barely

president

note

entertain, but

toast-list

and

purple
The

apoplexy.

pale,hurriedly scribbled
his

said,

'

elderly

escaped

speech

daun't

he

health.

our

"

tedious
few

the

for

my

"Eah!

?"
bell-11-ll-lls
The

heart

my

have

gentlemen,'

it down

be
the

the

duly

gone

table

by

flyingwaiter.
But

the

the

gesture, waved
'Mr.

Macready

I think

histrion, with

young

two

or

as

menial

aside, and

Melantius

three

in "The

characteristic

proceeded.
'

Bridal"

presidentialnotes

were

sent

FIRE

him

begging

his

and

Thorne

then

sat

The

Irish peer

failed

but

speak,

to

to

utter

Toole
and

hair.
endeavoured

him, and

after

went

Oroonoko,

as

turninga

rose

He

vain.

Irving via

Keane

without

down

all in

from
repertoire,

Edmund

to

177

MAJESTY'S

stop, but

to

right through

HER

AT

singleintelligible

word.
summer's

One
Tree

I had

and

walked

the

up

noticed

of the

old

had

the

balcony

tastefullylaid

and

Rosherville
lantern

illuminated

himself

fancy
Gardens.

had

with

out

with

of

an

flicks

of

decided
so
a

extinguished the
his

that

this

buttoned

we

vague
and

idea

of

walked

was

our

to

"

up

who

hand.

at

by

few

Comyns
be

to

giving ourselves
up

sit there

couple

blaze

matter

overcoats

lights,
and

say

at

eightpenny plant, to

However,

napkin.

and

other, a Chinese

sharing a glassof shandy-gaffclose

soon

principal

away

or

sentimental

terrace

grottos

could

we

promenade

coloured

miles

we

as

Someone

the

above

Somehow

alightto

set

great alarm

waiter

the

of

season

imaginativeLondoner

an

smoke,

the

the theatre with

and

o'clock

ten

Majesty'sOpera- House.

in pots, and

that

after

soon

Her

was

palms

market

trifling
conflagrationon

and

entrance

dining together,and

been

Hay

Carr

Comyns

1888

very

opened

concerts,

so

night in

to
an

were

But

adroit
Carr

inquiredinto,

our

chins, with

official appearance,

the check-taker.
12

178

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the

confidential

you'lllet
exercise
1

authoritative

yet
us

of fire

outbreak

Carr

10.15,'said

at

terrace

to

respectingthat

called

We've

the

to

quietly,without

pass

in

man,

undertone.

on

'

sume
pre-

obligingus

authority?'

our

'

Otherwise

clutching at

exclaimed

Tree

impetuously,

imaginary object

some

his

in

inside

breast-pocket.
*

Sh-sh,

Give

the

chap

well-conducted
*

I've

"

Carr

it !

orderly,

an

seems

notes,'said I.

in my

inspector,Tree

of

ourselves

cast
telepathically

this time

kind

him

about

detective, and

impossible Gaboriau
of

does

Gently

man.'

by

as

He

chance.

nothing

had

We

Carr.

!' said

mate

as

utterly

an

myself

as

sort

nondescriptmouchard.
The
4

check-taker

Are

rather
1

from

you

awestricken

rather

the

police?'

"

pale.
inquired,in

he

tone.

Yard/

the

From

turned

said

in

Tree,

metallic

voice.
1

fetch
'

you'llkindly step

If

the

down
at

said
please,'

your

We

you

in

the

way,' said

'

man,

I'll

manager.'

If you

inform

this

that

Carr.

anything
altered

writing,and

'

it is my

And

you
and

say

will

used

be

duty

to

taken

against you

trial.'
were

soon

on

the

terrace,

interrogating

couples and
to

said in
! twice

Corky

'

When

I got

would

we

of

cross-examiningwaiters.

and

me,

all

covered

of

to

rock, which

for the

tessellated
'

where

take

glass

be

to

rockery

Tree

now

largejagged piece

kind

fell in

structure

stood.

we

the
of

means

tall

was

pulled out

proved

whole

and

There

near

it,and

that

begging

was

pocket-book by

cork.

ferns

report !'

taking impressions of

was

in his

burnt

advanced

and

room

turned

Tree

terrace

his

to

Carr

with

the

down

aside

back, the manager

thumbs
of

piece

audible

an

come

wine, and

waiter's

179

TOY

NEW

of corner-stone,

fragments

to

on

the

pavement.
what's

Why,

for ?'

that

astonished

inquired the

manager.
Tree

nodded

mysteriously, then
side-pocket,and
1

head

his

two

slipped

three

or

the

ejaculatedin

times

into

stone

his

sepulchral tones,

Analysis!'
It

rest

until nine

not

was

of the theatre.
shall

with

which

forget the

never

Tree

completingof
enthusiasm

the

Haymarket,

middle

of the
with

used

the

His

them

later that he took the

years

to

present

would
for

road

his

almost
watch

he

and

fervour.

the

delight

building and

Majesty's Theatre.

Her

often

childish

impede

would

the

traffic of
into

wander

waylay passers-byto
Most

the
infect

people probably
12

"

180

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the

know

Bancroft

Squire

the

to

way
'

the

by

few

'

Tree's

classical

two

opinion from

the

was

behind

inquired.

the

of

Wilde

"

battlefield.
over

into

London.
I think
the

verdict

crept

shirt-cuff

edged

"

expert

the

fellows
a

them

up

Each

in

journalists

play in

of

as

cigarette

extractingan
a

the

when

act,

his

wilier

were

in medias

what's

on

doubtful

boldly plunged

Bancroft, and
His

were

judge of

audacious

late Willie

Bancroft, and

Well,

marauders

most

pleased

second

the

of

the soundest

and

smoking

was

of which

name

Bancrofts

the

of

ingeniousidea

Accordingly,the

shot

end

three

or

the

conceived

the

at

Haymarket,

beautifully-staged

eye

The

the

to

cleaning.'

the

critics

play.

ordinary playgoer

outside,

it

dramatic

as

turned
:

at

very

the

dazzled

stalls,and

the

of his

building for

want

produced (the

the

But

its merits

the

night

management,

forget),which

to

first

piece was

senses.

the

observed

hand

of it ?'

think

They'll all

one

his
side

Street

d'you

and

manager

young

remember

under

his

waving

surveyed

lot of windows!

wending

was

through his glass,then

seconds

excited

Tree,

what

and

'

practicalBancroft

The
a

toy,

new

Sir

Bank.

Charles

the

triumphantly towards

he

as

day caught

Westminster

and

London

one

arm

Bancroft,' cried

Well,

colossal

he

how

of

story

seat
res.

?' he

like
stealthily,

surreptitiously

his left hand, and

nervously

clutched

the

down

note

though

on

that

plush

It

'

saying ?

of

"

"

eleven

just about

years

ago.

the

first

and

made

speak

to

Baron
at

someone

this

to

forth

was

brought
and

scene,

the

am

stalls covered

after

'

must

My

dear

nothing

and

it

to

have

with

good

as

to

as

really

to

him

for

caused

When

was

in

steep

stunned

staircase,enclosed
shock

on

sought
the

to

foot

my

to

hurry

my

fell down

the

invited

In

caught

hobble

over

dressed

was

was

like that of

fellow/ he
worse.

head.

my

sound

was

stage-door.

the wooden

in time

to

apologized

accident

was

going

Stein, when

walls, shook

echoed

it

of

matting, and

and

and

act.

then

playing Diplomacy,1

were

summons,

worn-out

moment,

wooden

and

him,

we

of stairs,landingon
flight

by

the

what

"

They're

already begun,

as

up

of

piece

had

act

attend

1880

these

advantage

night,when

One

for

of

little

firm.'

good

to

I had

the

It shows

new.

of

that

to

range

observed

and

December

1879"

two-inch

glass,leant back,
in the

was

at

were

head

stall in front

the

covered

his

dropped

his

deep thought, turned

in

to

frowned
slightly

Bancroft

side, scrutinized

one

which

wisdom

of

words

order

right,in

his

pencil in

critical task.

simplifyhis
as

of

stump

181

TRIPPING

CAUGHT

the

of

fall,

my

big gun.
and

play

out

Bancroft

my

interruptionmy
progress

exclaimed, 'I'm
I heard

that

of
so

the

glad

tremen-

182

crash, I

dous
moment

who

little
that

it

did

fallen upon
Bancroft

When

'

'

he

to

asked

thought

had

old

an

into

lady

her

for

at
4

the

side

voice,

'

whom

why

do

beautiful

Mrs.

B.,

'

and

She

friends

'

at

all

colour

have

ever

you

hair
events

qualityis

the

Hay

had

market

bad

for the

is

so

of

and

had

wear

your
there's

One
her

when

wig

own?'

her

hair.

mincing
you

have

'Well,' said

plenty

you

night

kneeling

stroking

cooed
exquisite,'

they envy

turned

for everyone

word

found

perfectlylovely.

said how

then

company

moment.

B.J and

Mrs.

and

two,

or

?'
fifty-six

"

green-room
'

propose

fifty-five.'

circumstances

adverse

of

about

in the

employer

such

the

Or

you

an

the

before

Bancroft,' she said, in her rather

Oh, Mrs.

but

played

Oh, I don't know,'

moment

days

suppose

time

one

into the

came

'

of

version

old do

How

'

time-server.

but
I

at

few

Duncan?'

suddenly suggested
We

dtcor

of detail.

matters

in which

me

me,

casually.

Bancroft

course,

the

of

Burnand's

do

to

Lesson/

Sir Thomas

said

of

meant,

punctiliousin

came

production,and
making

only

To

sound

might

heavy piece

going

called

elderlyScot,

this

some

very

were

Lolotte

him

!'

scenery

me.

was

we

of the

He

for

reallyafraid

was

piece

know

not

afraid

was

"

was

unsympathetic.
he

had

afraid

was

that

"

anyone

'

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

it.'

of
the

So
your

many

'

Oh,

charmer,
of my

marvellous

184

RANDOM

worth

was

price the

the
of

sacrifice

Ton

when

in

all

in

the

Oh,

would

'

Not

with

laugh

at

And
she

had

the

course

satin

Fid,

this
do

was

of

was

to

Kemble

so

lead

to

were

wife, I'm

not

the
hide

and

at

whole

myself

eventful,
simple, un-

pity !'

of

the

her

public.

want

friend
What

actors

about

and

would

they appreciate art

low

your

all the

comedians

?
a

"

public wants.'

lady finallyappeared, all

advance

carol

the

Walsingham

Do

concerted

of December
thirty-first

Henry

'

young

that

star
at

or

and

go

be

the

to

forth,
then

'

in
footlights

hitch

number,

belay!'and

and

to

good, honest,

art

!' Miss

tha(s

and

proves

confined
It

when

trousers,

Which

his

Think

contempt.

price;

avast

'

Pah

any

to

be

just

that

They only

they.

year

up

and

if

'

times
some-

life.'

public!

exclaim

of home

mind,

?'

they say

The

the

in

pay,

exclaim

and

marry

politely.

say

would

throw

wouldn't

but

to

me

country,

happy
*

ask

simply

thing,and
away

thousand

shouldn't

sure

of

cynical mood,

and

along

come

to

Lottie,'she would

with

loving man

had

pleasures.

word,

my

artist

tissue, of peace

nerve

life,of domestic
*

REMINISCENCES

Dick

her

Fid, Dick
her

resume

artistic temperament
and

place.
is

not

actresses.

half-pasteleven
that
Arthur

white

it

at

suddenly

Cecil, as

night

one

occurred

they

sat

to
over

GOOD

their

draining the

into their
brown

of

his

into

and

facings
"

'

wheeler

fashionable

churches

held.

cabs

the

But

way

but

Arthur

Australian
cab.
There

the

but

the

to

have

edifice

marling-spikesteeple.

o'clock; we'd

better

if there's

d'you

know

Beetle

?' asked

Cecil

in

go

Kemble

There's

another

one,' he added

the

road

and

Arthur
went

but they found

lighted,
pew

near

the

and

in.

I'm

the
The

'

the

midnight.

two

into

Isn't

Place

H'm

But

there,

on

there

certain

go

in

just now.

devout-looking
building.
friends

church

their way

sanctuary.

'

as

lady,apparently foreign,entered
right,then,'said

wheeled

Kemble,

'

ladies

two

saw

an

goin'

doubtfully.

is,'said

'

mounted

nearly twelve

there.'

service

that
two,

Langham

It's

'

all

or

of

in

were

one

two-

the

toddled

exclaimed

Arthur/

sacred

services

minutes

ten

church,

pointing
with

wanted

four-

of

hansom

sit in

the

with

to

seeing

than

collar,

one

they

sooner

buckjumper

It

and

was

would

to

without

Street
There

Cecil

walk

'

to

midnight

scarce,

them.

take

astrachan

them

take

were

than

year

pardessus

started

where

Regent

up

would

they

should

which

the

Stein

Baron

new

were

into his well-known

with

cape

there

Accordingly,they got

Kemble

"

that

Club,

wassail-bowl.

watchman's

beaver

185

beginning

wrap-rascals

Cecil

and

'

Garrick

spiritual
ways

more

in

the

at

supper

INTENTIONS

an

'

All

crossed

was

dimly

unoccupied

it curious

"

the

186

RANDOM

small

percentage

don't

believe
of

by side, and

that

'

Do

!'

speak

to

Thank

undertone,

but

er

"

attired

particularly.'Then, perhaps/
f

and

'

you
the
'

service

begins/

'

of the service/

The

evidently somewhat
service

for

Kemble

and

hats,

and

his

bestride
'

er

Cecil

hurried

the

or

later

for

told

the

'

machines, covered

me

to

of the

days

Arthur
modern

with

"

before

the benefit
the parson,

this is

'

special

fallen

women'

their feet, seized

think

poor

they

believed

they

heard

their
were

that

as

chastened

penitents.

Cecil

"

saddle, which

wont

was

substitute

ancestors

our

do

man,
clergy-

go

have

for

aisle,they

two

of

"

but

cannot

the elaborate

bumping-chair

er

"

an

contrary/said Kemble,
might

we

leapt to

they

one

like

only thing is/ said

"

down

would

embarrassed,

"

when

titter from
In

er

"

fled.

mistaken

they

On

expressly that

came

we

friend

your

in

the

continued

tall,

cassock.

that

know

was

Kemble

replied

year

shoulder.

long

was

who

the

in

I don't

"

for the

?' whispered

me

much/

very

you

that

Kemble,
on

side

devotions,

year

resolutions

to

grave-lookingclergyman
*

the

touched

was

their

from

knelt

they

in

born, when

'

different

However,

plunged

be

aisle,

want

you

How

golden

to

Kemble.

whispered

opportunitiesin

making

the

nearest

one.

soon

about

was

noticed

were

and

dying

?'

Rome

lost

lamenting

men

of

Church

the

REMINISCENCES

to

for the old

of

one

go

those

through

LA

'

every

kind

trot,

canter,

have

often

about

at

him
a

night-gown and

Cannon
Cecil

riding a

real

He

friends

pony.

exclaimed

ride.

We'll

Look

'

all

the

allowed

himself

old

pony,

the

side of

the

the

streets

of

used

be

to

host's

then, Arthur, what

the

turf ?' asked

think

it

might

Arthur,

with

assumed

got
I

to

on

little

more

academy
them,

used

have

to

charge

on

of

the
to

say

Old
a

rather

er

"

recognised,or

for her

the

age,

Park.
now

by

'

Now
we've

Presently

'

"

when

paces.
in

palfreys of
a

Arthur

pleasant,'replied
*

"

really

mounted

canter

jauntiness,
her

Shetland

So

his friend.

"

for

thorough-bred,through

ladies hove

of young

mounted

sizes, in
must

"

be

host

come

She's

ride.

nimbly

into

d'you

is

some

his

must

arm-chair.'

smart

Windsor

with

Sarah, the

to

very

It

morning

persuaded, and

walked

who

old

ordinary

an

Fox.

staying
one

back

beguiled into

once

here, Arthur, you

children

quieter than

was

on

found

all the sensations

Flying

and

put you

market

and

morning,

was

Windsor,

near

Hay

face, sittingwell

on

that Arthur

that

in the

pigskin seat, going through

Mornington

pair of pince-nez,with

his

expression on

walk,

gaining ground.

in the

half-pasteleven

187

lever, and

into his bedroom

recorded

'

to

gallop without

or

gone

resolute

of

in obedience

of pace

in his

in his

6COLE

HAUTE

I've

got

Just then

sight,about
various

riding-master.

sorts

Old

ten

an

of
and

Sarah

thought she recognised,a

188

RANDOM

friend
Wild

Dayrell

ears,

off

direction

with

at

class

of
the

on

the

silver

wished
also

commit

to

disguise

of

his

in

the

So

grip
With

steed.

should

the

fact

He

had

hardened
the

on

this

ejaculate
pony

"

heard
levels

his

and
to

at

attempt
Would

-joining

you
your

all

"

good

that

smile,

he
and

master

bonhomie

which,

social

right

his

on

make

to

longer

the

?'

with

manners,

no

the

the

ease

duty

his

young

party

at

increased

raise

of

proclaim

formal

got

ill

his

was

of

heart,

contrived

blood-curdling

he

firmly

astonishment

so

once

of

first

gentleman

was

at

that

saddle-bow,
he

it

breach

no

hunting-field,

he

felt

his

saddle

merry

appeared

the

in

alongside

middle-aged

Cecil

which

remark

with

who

hair

his

got

soon

looked

who

tiny charger.

some

my

Sarah

her

nostrils, and
canter

of

or

up

followed

pommel

amiable,

stout,

curly

his

the

seized

girls,

grizzled

Cecil

manege.

hands.

both

her

Bonny

pricked

eight-mile-an-hour

the

and

Blink

suddenly

through

an

of

instinct,

she

for
"

snort

gave

started

of

contemporary

some

"

REMINISCENCES

hat,
he

barriers.
left-hand
hand

and,

free.
with

contrived

ladies
"

object

to

to

XI

CHAPTER

Maurice

Barrymore

West
the

Judge'

of

business'

The

road

of

ONE

theatre

wit

and

all

bright

He

us.

not

she

forth

hesitation

without

that

house

her

meaning

morning

one

at

about

daily Mass,

could

when

of

the

in New

York

met

much

was

and

select
best

form.
she

Maurice,

his

and

good

was

o'clock, in order
she

ready

very

of

deal

brilliant,

and, belonging

word

of

his first wife,

occasion

on

in compact

seven

afraid,

am

found,

only pretty

Catholic

devout

societyrobbed

not

was

in

met

He

be

to

actress,

practicalrace,

convey

gifted with
of words.

American
She

very

of

Lowenfeld.

fine-lookingfellow

averse

sorts

'lines
"

ever

now,

"

and

'sport'

Mr.

Far

Burglar

American
"

the

in

Criminal

"

play

at

was

elegantchoice

an

his company.
but

ones

old

Barrymore

and
disposition,

popularityin
very

Millionaires

Maurice

sought after, and

real
An

"

"

'The

"

pleasantestcompanions

was

convivial

Pennsylvania

trial in

wealth

to

Justice

"

Card-sharping

"

the

conjugal reproof

Stage burglars and

"

longer with

no

bigamy

"

"

and

to

hurl

adapted

to

It is related

leaving the
to

hear

her

in dishevelled

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

190

evening clothes, coming

had

He
a

latch-keyin

his

course

keyhole

hand, and

the

supper-party.

steering

was

the

discover

to

wife

His

attempt.
looked

prayer-book, and

her

clutched

his

in

perish

or

from

steps, determined

the

up

home

glassilyover

his head.
'

Georgie

Why,

sentimental

night,

'

Oh,

'

reproach

aren't you

flash.

angry

she

Mass

its

the
*

Far

the

for the

/'m

"

told

once

the

and

platform of
train.

he

seemed

hardly

who

middle-aged

his
shot

there, and

and,

an

off

to

of

revolver,
the

course,

considerable

Stein,

time

the

of

perfectly

laughing at

out

bully immediately

or

as

gun,

He

it is called
was

then

Barrymore's insistence,but
thrown

that

aspect

ragged

dead.

actor

them

to

comedian

burst

man,

waiting

town

appeared

Baron

in

ago

all assembled

little mining

the

tragedy,

with
travelling

were

there

years

was

company

The

at

some

He

played

demeanour.
forth

story of

occurred

real, and

harmless,

with

And

!'

all

up

husband

truculent
ludicrously

he

matter

been

your

Mass

the

some

company,

to

the

with

exclaimed,

to

me

Suddenly

of such

drew

she

of America.

West

desperado

his

speak

going

sequel, which

Diplomacy,'

on

has

who

one

to

exclaimed,

went.

Barrymore
and

'

of

going
to

go

you

F he

Anna

into

passed

out

powered
over-

not

prison.
before

the trial

came

as

192

downwards
'

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

exclaimed

!'he

They

have

must

in

man

his soul

for

looked

towards

him

nobody

seemed

offended.

"

whisky

counsel
*

Look

back

'way
think

New

to

nothing

singleman
Nicholson

has

he's been

years

carry

him

some

Calmed
take

by
his

belt.

it, if you

cocktail

two,

or

hotel, packed his satchel, and

in

just

time

disappearing
to

be

and

in

the

five hours'

It

was

the

see

the

few

train

to

return

which

gives

train

going

you'd

to

want

get

he

crossed

hurried

should

5.15

nothing
and

inn

go

the

depot,

the

was

the

to

to

the

to

There

shot.'

decided

Barrymore

to

try and

better

dine,

through

in

time.

weather,

lovely summer
'

that

hind-lights of

distance.

done, then, but

await

about

and

to

being

that's allowed

There's

advice, and

twelve

see,

course,

don't

Judge

the

You

town

Of

I b'lieve

5.15.

friend's

new

of it !

Every

and

in

get

They

can.

here.

just

in the

man

said,

better

you
out

men

cuting
prose-

side, and

murderer,

opportunity.

of
a

is

Think

his

the

You'd
as

soon

here.

on

board

on

as

five

more

his

to

but

eyes,

However,

killed

gun

through about
get

lack-lustre

over

jury

of his hearers

Some

killinganyone

Sheriff,he's the only

to

'

Barrymore.

that

on

!"

with

York

of

I
sell

wouldn't

who

court

sour

edged

here, Mr.

at

assembled.

crowd

squared by somebody.

been

there wasn't

guess

the

to

drummers

'

sat

out

after

and

Barrymore

dinner

in front

COMING

EVENT

enjoying

the

of the

restaurant,

of the

night.

It

get back

to

the

and, with

an

audience

the

subject that

they

for the

were

the

maimed

murderer

the

of

with

man,

the left arm

of form
which

by

swung

shadow
the

Mr.

stump

in

the

walk.

for

the

rose

premonition

of

their

remained

diminutive

in

his

cane

symmetry

on

It

in

one

side,

was

seen

this hotel ?'

Then

four

seats,

into the

traveller

chair.

The

in

minute

languid drawl

No

one

or

five

impelled by

trouble, and, bowing

Barrymore, slipped back

one,

figure of

heard

was

seconds.
from

shot

round, shortened, and

bureau

stopping at

few

'

there

stopped abruptly.

Nicholson

Judge

Barrymore

drummers

but

to

was

suddenly

The

the

rhythm

Of

'

greater part of

destroyed by

inquiringat

moved
'

of

the

missing.

lengthened,veered

voice

later

be

to

conversation

The

!' Barrymore

roadway

that
peculiarity

appeared

was

all.

Nicholson

in

is that

crowd

tall,broad-shouldered

the

State
particular

sojourning.

brightlymoonlit

shadow

the

hardly be

impetuously,when

exclaimingloudlyand

the

of the whole

Judge

from

declaimingagainst

in

moment

arch-villain

course,

should

travellers

of commercial

of indiscretion

even

across

he

his mind,
filling

was

corruptionand venalityof

which

that

America, he felt that he could

all parts of
accused

magnificentbeauty

natural

only

was

193

silentlyto

hotel.

All

went

dry-goods, who

'Anything

I
13

can

do

194

RANDOM

for

?' he

you

REMINISCENCES

asked

in

partly professional,but
got

you
'

Not

here/

down

upstairs,in

one

commercial.

grip-sack.'

then

came

who

had

York

exclaimed.

City

shot

of

in

his

to

his work

from

he's

and

sir,' he

said.

unbuttoned
of

his

weapon

his

the

belt.
as

the

!'
a
'

said

But

p'rapsyou'd
And

like
he

to

gave
until

officious
in proselytizing

corner

Barrymore

the
have

Judge turned,
then

leisurelygaze,
Pleased

to

meet

you'd gone.'

it should

as

shadow

heart

an

The

pistol-casewhich

soon

him,'

beaming glance

moment

hung

Barrymore got ready

adversary.

friend.'

him.

Clerk

'

'

with

to

I missed

ejaculated, Mr.

sittingright there

slowly

New

complexion,suddenly looked

own

surveyed Barrymore
advanced

him

round

engaged

Barry-

left for

incomplete

this

at

'

clerk,

friend, interested

new

But

hotel

Barrymore's

hosiery,gave

was

boots

Why,

road.
his

congratulation.

nigger,who

up

the

Sorry

the

And

leap, and

to-nightonly

Just

register.

Barrymore

Got

that's

"

man.

the

from

the

5.15.'

Judge.
across

cheerful

'

the

on

replied the
again

glancingdown

been

?' he

more

reassuringreply

Thanks

good/ repliedthe apparentlydoomed

no

the

Have

'

anxiously.

Barrymore

replied

my

sounded

mainly friendly.

?' murmured

gun

which

whisper,

to

appear,

on

And
the

strike
and

you,

front

up

to

he

the

tackle

Judge proceeded : 'Thought

the gun

produced

which

battered

killed

your

six-shooter,

AN

with

trigger filed off, and, handing

the

grim relic, bade

and

Coghillwas

time.

our

destitute

He

of

substitute

of the

one

he

mourned

the
and

by

have

to

feelingsand

who

years

playingtogether. She
him, although I

to

long periods during

which

he

he
had

He

whom

I had
when

ago

he

absolutely

was

afraid

am

others.
sure

him.

knew

few

am

any

cynical

ago,

wife,
delightful

meeting

or

rightsof

so

or

year

and

of

were

devoted

seemed

everyone

handsome

honour
I

died

actors

absolutely

but

whatever,

sense

He

for all the

Yet, when

very

moral

it.

best

very

extremely accomplished,and

was

any

for

contempt

was

good -night

grave

charming, fascinating
companion,

Barrymore

the

over

his way.

went

Charles
of

195

HUSBAND

ABSENT-MINDED

there

were

entirelyignored

her

existence.
I think

it

health

His

in America.
the

in about

was

life he

had

and

anaesthetics.

as

injured wives

or

less within

misfortune
an

her

or

to

added
Mrs.
are

was

led, for

he
self-indulgence

1885

then, she

was

touring

was

deal broken

by

ordinary form

habit

of

of

taking drugs

faithful and devoted,

Coghill,

apt

hail of her
illness should

to

be, always kept

loyaltyto

husband,

errant

befall him

opportunityof proving, for

unaltered

good

every

the

he

that

him.

and

in

livingin lodgingsin

New

case

give

the thousandth

During

more

this
York

13"2

her

time,
tour,

City.

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

196

I think
still

it

Pittsburgthat

in

was

good,

He

called

love.

the

described
the

he

felt his

in the

hands

saying
safer
the

keeping

his

own

horrified
in the

the

York.

the

charge
his

pending

faithful

wife

more

or

was

on

his

words

had

side.

He

of

Gibber

of

sure

and
an

'

We

more

the

for

at

so

the

hand.

brought

arrested

task

have
shall

of

cause

"

Coghill was

such

quoted
no

to

the

justice,

Pittsburg.

with

find

years

for
had

who

many

on

prison

witness

woman

to

his

living in

into

Mrs.

been

that

moment

important

most

easy

may

was

lived

and

thrown

and

luckilyfor

in

happy pair

had

years,

of course,

less close

felt he

be

parent

immediately

insulted

who,

fond

who

that

at

was

The

and

duly subpoenaed,
lawyer

the

fourteen

bigamy,

trial.

outraged

than

age

the

be

he, that Coghillhad

was

"

prosecutionwas,

been

agreed,

would

not

days

friend

than
or

wife

of

few

Charles

New

might

afterwards

world

his real

father

middle

for

asked

Mayor.

for twelve

"

large one),

The

who

in

And

civilized

married

the

lad

his

father, stated

of

man

learn, from

to

desperately

daughter's happiness

some

by

fell

devotion, and

marriage.

of

little while

wife

of

mind.
united

were

in

he

but

girl, young,

being was

his

of

depth

girl'shand

time

shattered

her

upon

for the

(which

income

met

whom

with

beautiful,and
in

Charles

impressionable

the

witness

himself
fiend

The

in

the

hell

the

match

can

WIFE

LOYAL

fury

of

197

disappointed

without

slighted,dismissed

scorned,

woman

"

parting

pang/
The

had

He

the

in

placed

arrived.

day

momentous

with

dock

engaged

defend

sullenlyprepared

for conviction

wife

the

into

went

exhibited

the

abstractedlyat
'

What

'

Katharine

is your

and

side.
stood
His

sentence.

The

whatever.

He

prisoner

merely gazed

ceiling.
the

?' asked

name

counsel.

Rivers,' repliedthe witness.

Anne

the

Even

either

him, and

witness-box.

emotion

no

bigamist was

janitor on

to

one

no

The

cynical Charles

could

restrain

not

slightstart.
That

is

lawyer,

at

the

Rivers

lady firmly;

his

suggested

the

Coghill?'

"

Rivers

'

is my

his eye, and

glass in

name/
sur-

gazed

her.
But

er

"

you

"

the

prisonerat

many

as

years

there

And

was

the

are

her

manner

"

had

the

his

wife, but

no

proof that

husband
never

are

the
"

so

we

'

were

especiallyin
as

him

woman

her

this

entered

the

for

married/

never

the devoted

of

advocate.

I lived with

of
possibility

much

not,

you

bewildered

Coghill.

Mrs.

perjuring herself, for

save

wife,

bar ?' asked

No/ answered

to

presume/

Anne

fixed

husband

Her

say,

Katharine

said

No/

'

to

was

wishing

desperate

the

head

of

198

the

matter-of-fact
the

taken

not

the

of

copy

no

the

with

court

her

good

to

his

in

solicitous

proof

It is strange
of

years

will

produced
author

used

that

too

finish.
"

don't

for

'

"

go

this

for

failure of the

and
so

piece which

by

which

warn

On

weeks.
the

but

"

curtain

he
fell,

can't

line/

first

night

from

may

blame

was

start

's great

turned

thank

in such

people

play,they

next

Hawtrey

to

big

There

applause

gentlemen,

admirably

However

the

piece.

of

don't

be

to

the

miss

to

Hawtrey

Now,

certain

all

us

it.
:

we

popular

amused

us

there's

them

after

audience

an

'

to

remember
the

working

with

Theatre,

round

one

Ladies

circumstances.
the

six

wrong

But

want

for

that, when

said

that

on

went

'

'

hardly rehearse

then

and

laugh nor

one

credit

much

most

judge, even

I remember

could

soon

we

will

Comedy

we

rehearsed

nothing

and

entire

an

But

the

to

became

can

stronglycast,

now

laugh,and

to

he

littleone

not.

very

every

speak

how

the

at

and

much

not

sacrificed

worked

husband.

experience,what

what

We

devotion

devoted

had

left

he

vouch.

cannot

and

of

for
was,

all I know

For

character, and

and

There

wife, who

him.

save

had

England

to

against Coghill,and

faithful

his

this

change

accordingly he

certificate.

marriage

evidence

name

contrary,

and

lawyer,

precaution of sending

therefore,

so

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

to

you

us

very

discouraging
account

the

for

acting.'

slide.

the

entire

finds

on,

audience

the
of

piece

with

nor

them

to

burglar appears
cheese

Camembert
! it do

!'the

'um

boxes,

though Joseph

delight,as

epigram by Brinsley

deliveringan

Jeffersonwere

Kaye,

causing

Lor'

'

nor

balcony, stalls,and
gallery,

"

shout

to

when

exclaims

buffet, and

used

in

Maude

Frederick

succeeded

Whereas,

admirably

were

Cyril

not

nor

ever

smile.

little later

in

"

Wyes,

lines

case,

Grossmith,

William
raise

each

in

Weedon

the

although

But,

delivered

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

200

Sheridan.
The

during

my

which

gave

with

I gave

of mine,

to

be

part of the
the

forgiven if

couple of

am

dress-circle

in

play, and,

letter from

her, I received

him.

word, Mr.

'My

have

been

being, as
the

of

was

obliged by

housebreaker

the
in

starving youth, but,

as

in

old

an

desired
to

may

it.

repeat

friend

take

to

his

charming

exclaimed, 'you
time!'

your
are

that

no
'

of

nature

unqualifiedpraise from

readers

my

to

addition

B.,' he

Tea-leaf

most

who

received

to

as

seats

rhyming slang equivalentfor

I

the

compliment

good,

vain

so

me

burglar. And,

for

stage

professionalthief

the

to

left

the

paid

pleasure, I

greatest

that very

now

had

ever

all events,

at

or,

the

me

have

perhaps

wife

career,

regard
I

as

highest compliment

'Tea-leaf

doubt

aware,

thief.'
the

little

matter

must

of

story

piece

to

make

ragged,

fact, although a

TO

HOW

in such

man

and
amateur

break

to

poverty

deliberatelyselected
select the
of

Stock

his

with

who

has

might

different

very

an

class

few

to-day is

Bill

akin

nearer

for

the

requisitesto

jewels,the

first step is
where

servant,

be

must

tripup

any

henchman

ladder

in

after

the

dinner, while
excitement

the

prizes

open

sacred
the

money-box,

off

safe

where

step is

as

his

secures

to

burglary

are

who

object is

Then

the

wires

to

venture

may

on

of the

indulging in
lady of
it

though
swag,

then
and

dogcart

namely,

leaves

house,
penny
all

brand-new,

to

the

burglar

the

were

awaits

is

perhaps

moment,

table-tennis, the

singularone,

are

neighbouring yard

valuable
his

the

with

out

family are
of

to

access

kept.

suitable

bedroom

tools,though they
makes

to

generallythrough

are

carefullypegged

at

enters

have

must

find out,

than

Spider

modern

gems

and
requisitioned,

innocent

to

the

unwary
A

pursuit.

the

to

ordinaryjob, where

an

agreeably

us

professionalburglar

he

begin with,

In

made

the

ago,

To

expensive.

lawn

years

much

Willard

S.

E.

Sykes.

money,

absolute

an

ever

was

evening-dress cracksman
delightful

Mr.

there

not

of the

whom

familiar

next

is

in

another

as
calling,

Exchange,

or

prototype

steal

and

man.

Whether

of

house

by hunger

professional burglar

the

way,

into

driven

be

plightmight

201

BURGLE

him.

his
and
His

deposit the

202

RANDOM

REMINISCENCES

thousands

parcel containing,perhaps,
"

worth

of

diamonds

pearls and

drain, where

he

presently when

people

in, say,

"

accomplice

an

or

of

less

are

pounds'
disused

find

can

likelyto

be

on

this

it

the

alert.
The

the
their

loss, and

will have

stolen

has

deploring the

been

still
of

old

lying in
his

offered

and
with

It has

of

laden

ditch

dry

has

his

with

police,and

if he

Jack

wife's

has

householder

within

of

have

the
the

on

pair

ragged
highroad

laces, and
had

tiaras

hundred

few

Or

him
a

nor

likelyoften

most

mansion.

met

he

heirlooms, they have

his

snappish rebuff, may

wallet

loss

sell him

to

the

railway-station,

distracted

despoiled
who

woman

discovered

burglariousimplements

posing
Sup-

have

Gentleman

him.

that, when

been

local

arrest

neither
about

property

yards

with

the

at

right to

no

happened

robbery

communicated

waiting

finds that he

precautions is

of the

victims

officer is

an

these

for

reason

her

and

met

shabby
and

stars

crescents.

It

is curious

stick
The

to

their

the

from

outsider

not

of

Scotland
to

work

Yard, when
him,
of

can

how

"

business,'

dream

forger of cheatingat

submitted
the

an

'line

own

burglar would

nor

as

to

"

of

any

it

as

picking

cards.

will

thieves

Also

expert
is

work

generallyidentifyit

particularartist,just

pocket

an

dishonest

were.

as

at
a

once

con-

HOW

in

noisseur

Hoppner

TO

CARD-SHARP

Rembrandt

Reynolds

recognise a

picturescan

or

203

from

or

inch

square

of

canvas.

Probably the
of

exacting criminal

most

card-sharper. He
high-class

like

musician.

great

apparently impregnable hand

pack, he
hands
to

will exercise

in such

the

imaginary

tiptoewhile
throwing

he

perhaps muttering
three, four, and
the
slip,'
dealt
the

the

further

array

to

poor

makes

the

made.

not

the

to

skill

pianos with

to

are

those

attachments

he

'

it
'

to

will

and

'

who

'

and

have

use

be

to

trump

will deal

tempting

little

ment
assort-

his assumed

or

high

calibre

be

to

ambition

broads

contrived, just
for the

hand,

odd

same

the
'

'

he

has

He

is

faked

this

of

the

two,

practisewith

the

himself

sport

manipulate
cards

last card

the
allotting
mug

One,

'

containing the

special vocation.
For

there
profit,

be

the

another

'

just beat

on

three, four, and

difference

chimerical

But

partner.

not

the

hands, this time

that will

requires

but

one,

him

will find him

breath,

Then

complication of

just

more

bottom.

shall fall

hand

approach

two,

one,

'

apparentlya

five

his

under

slip;

five

lightningquickness,and

slip signifyingthat

'

from

which

'

faked

studies, you

with

cards

'

an

of the

bottom

rapidlydealing

If you

his

at

in

the

victim.

is

the

out

that

way

all, arranging
the

at

himself

practisedaily,

must

of

First

is that

career

of

as

'

to

there
the

born,
but
their
are

thumb-

204

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

fingered musician.
high

cards

These

placed in

are

sand-papered

in the

submitted

the

the

edges

their
cards
a

to

then

are

small

well

as

cards

but

much

so

that

particulargame
This

the

case

is

danger

shall

What

them

they

used

the

(this gives

tone

big

to

tremities,
ex-

It

one.

ask

played
lost

been

often

name

however,

is Blind
at

this

alarm.

causes

the

by

for

simple

else.
y

There's

know.
at

these

their

by

play ?'

play

to

ends

cut

should

game
has

money

averted,

we

I don't

Oh,

the

are

obviously display

subterfuge of callingit something

'

cards

you

loser

The

memento.

edges

packs replaced in

When

cut

you

side

The

duplicate^^sand-papered pack

backs, in

as

Hooky,

carry

similar

with
the

to

the

help turning up

cannot

you
is

when

and

smaller

must

you

thus

towards

process

middles,

their

the

envelopes.

their
one,

middle

re-giltand

Government

by

and

vice

same

prepared

are

rather

the

Embassy

in

the

speaker)

'

good

game

Washington

called

'

Persian

Monarchs.'
"

I don't

'

Don't

merely
each

cut

one

know

it.'
?

you

round

Well, it's perfectlysimple. You

to

he's

bets

the

other

players in

the

highest

Blind

Hooky.'

got

turn,

card

at

and
the

bottom.'
that's

Why,

'

Yes, it is

"

just like

awfully like

Blind

Hooky

in

fact,if

SELF-PITYING

Monarchs.'

the other

'

day

few

'

died.

with

his

He

was

hair

eyes,

only

which

were

genial old
pitywhich

'

of

man

with

excellent

that strong

have

no

but,
qualities),

things.
own

Colonel

'

plight.

'

'

in

You

'

about

in

little

some

hours, and

acquaintance
invites

me

of

down

everything;

go

to

"

No

bed
;

man.

all his

like

and

after

the

to

small

return

hospitality."Mr.

annuity
"

it

and

on

hate

late
the

is, I make
fellow

young

have

live

to

gives

to

I'd

rob

this

you're goin' to
Brookfield, it's

best

like

to

myself,

to

say

he

the

me

dinner, when

sit up

of

Brookfield,' he

place and

everything, I

you've got
That's

his

other

perpetual

it,a

Mr.

As

and

quite patheticover

bright

some

to

of

cards

criminals

many

quiet watering-place.

hate

of self-

right

just enough

"

was

existing order

have

to

dollars

2,000

the

know,

said, I'd give anything

say

of

of

place

waxed

Troy

He

strain

sense

was

away

all the habitual

feeling of grievance against

his

him

(though they generally have

wrong

moustache

furtive.

and

has

fifty,
stout,

and

that gave

small

he

believe

about

brosse

en

They

up

American

an

Troy.

conspicuous in

met.

Persian

cropped

game

Cowes

at

feature

party, but
is

old

met

The

play

Paquets.

Colonel

'

205

can

you

same

ago

sandy

kJrissde.

I have

the

Petits

as

called

since

Hooky,

see

years

sport

his

Blind

play

can

you

'SPORT'

young

make
a

for

miser-

206

RANDOM

able

I hate

life,and

which

he

REMINISCENCES

could

The

it.'

obvious

alternative,

face, however,

not

giving

was

it up.
these

In

who

hear

from

characters

in their

of

one

pin

than

and

acquainted.

He

was

lounged

Wellington
waistcoat

anything

on

the

with

else.
of

course

our

bit

watch

me.

to

the

; so

twopence

and

Well, of

I tumbled

that

gives

white-

man,

eyes.

carriagewith

mouth, restinga
the

of

prosperous

his

window,

course,

I do
he

at

comes

it

to

that

what

through
the

began

The

another
to

said

he

in those

now.

put
once

'

than

miner

you're aware,'

conversation,

so
suspicious,

first cart

the

of

say

by thievin',just as
a

slightly

was

old

Barkis,

quick,bright

edge

I dare

'

of his

like

more

Mr.

displaythree large diamond

to

turnpike boy.

lived

got

corner

unbuttoned

whom

cushion

the

boot

studs, he looked

as

There

old-fashioned

with

shrewd-faced

the

on

huge cigar in

in the

fortune.

the

day

with

contractor,

haired, clean-shaven, and

he

boyhood

ostentatiously
returning

Brighton one

to

wealthy

As

of

trait

owner.

I travelled

the

incident

methods

picking up

its

to

what

it is

"

what

lips to

own

subsequent good

evidentlyother

of millionaires

"

circumstances

their
to

or

their

they attribute
are

men

life in humble

commenced

interestingto

it

of self-made

days

life

days

gov'nor
boy

he

on

was

I takes

lad, and

to

up

the
says,

208

RANDOM

loath

were

watch

millionaires
keen

more

relaxation

for

great hotel

were

as

made

So

they got

three

half
them

selves
them-

the

in the

night-

threw

him

the

to

up

The

years'income

of

they

one

again

schoolboys.

four

or

by

one

needed

They

hold

top of

lift.

They
have

must

porter
in about

to

but

a.m.,

compose

hour

an

down

and

as

eager

could

they

take

sovereignsto

after

was

before

over

interested

was

still alert.

were

sleep.

porter, and

It

play.

at

brains

to

him.

part with

to

their

the

REMINISCENCES

thirty-five

minutes.
It

in

was

with

Mr.

that

1893

Lowenfeld.

Henry

the

Prince

for

of Wales's

duties.

had

attend

interval

to

from

luncheon.

for

He

give opinions upon

requiring

alteration

successful, I
in

tenor

his

acting,and

advertisements.
all this
with

in

dealings

my

of

with

far

as

was

'

10.30

to

Mr.

be

concerned,

they

I had

prove

my
accent.

the

with

going

we

are

the

to

put

employer,

new

I had

been
in

extraordinarily
wary

Lowenfeld,

in business.

pieces

at

occasionallyassist
how

an

manuscript

interest),coach

an

foreign
to

me

5, with

them, tinker
should

taken

office,

an

read

to

?' asked

ought

extremely sharp
'

Now,

contract

trace

that

warned

'

just a

have

just

engaged

me

(in which,
to

was

he

gave

was

plays and

acquaintance
had

He

Theatre, and

variety of

which

I first made

But
much

that
I said
rather

he

was

that, as
have

no

'TIS

".

all, and

at

contract

face

lighted up,

lose

anything
hands

shook

NOT

IN

I had

dealt

He

turned

out

it.

who

but

She

came

be

to

drew

engaged

objectof

againsther being obligedto

this

arranged to push

do

me

'

fifteen

that

it's

Nonsense,

are

however,

"

to

on

The
dance

in

with

said

burst

'

to

Now,

at

three

She

quatre,
in

her

into

Mr.

find

all the

terms

her
your

party of the

with

de

forth

set

I'm

dear/ said
look

incidental

pas

she

insure

to

was

cried,

against the

by

dudgeon.

others.

my

dancer.

corps de ballet.

later

says

Let's have

'

you

me

Charles

Mr.
with

dance

she

Lowenfeld,'

Mr.

ballet.

days

office in great

Lowenfeld's
*

few

indentures.

young

complicated

in the

duly

willingnesswas

and

and

which

dance

to

one.

solo

dance

the

of

rest

however,

consented,
and

the

with

dances

of

case

mother

long

and

generous

as

her

up

the main

agreement,

very
the

accompanied by

solicitor, who

afterwards

thoroughly fair

hand, I remember

came

won't

just the right way.

in

only

not

His

You

'

discovered

I
him

with

him.

Brookfield,' and

Mr.

that,

master,
straightforward

lady

exclaimed,

he

by
on

the other

209

entirelyto

trust

and

that

On

BOND'

THE

other

you've
of

rest

come

on

can't

you

of

the
and

make
ment/
agree-

my

ingly.
sooth-

manager

There

contract.

first part agrees,

dancers

"

14

that

is

210

to

in

say,

dancing
of

sets

in

and

business.

out

into

before

his

his

been

in

about

he

in and

That's

in

It's the

the

man

contract

'

explained.

'

at

offer

Suppose

article

that
We

wholesale
shillings

nine
'

clockwork

lower

?' asked

With

very

Then

kindly let

the wholesale

hundred

had

where

been

he found
the end

at

of

window

shop

the
the

Out

of

price.
man.

Lowenfeld.

young

them

makes
can't

get

expensive,'

it made

under

price.'
to

supply

you

price, will

the

sent

was

clockwork.

asked

trade

loiteringalong

was

by

said
big price,'

with

almost

noticed

worked

lamp

he

brothers

ago

said
Twenty-five shillings,'

budgeted

every

age

London,

to

as

City,he

went

his

as

years

day,

of

his father

drifted

One

of

curiosityhe

'

it's all

almost

came

by

twenty

in the
kind

'

You've

time.

other

three

are

same

dear

pocket,

He

capital.

new

the

my

he

world

him.

street

has
When

the
in

himself

there

you're

now

contract.'

Lowenfeld

pounds

at

stage

complain of,

to

Well,

four, and

of
the

on

for in your
Mr.

set

four."

of

set

four

nothing

at

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

young

you

with

give

the

same

the

me

Pole.

great pleasure/repliedthe dealer.

me

have

the

clockwork

by

itself

rate,'said the youth,tendering nine

shillings.
It

was

pure

speculationon

his part, for he

knew

COMMERCIAL

nothingwhatever
he

all

went

for

over

about

clocks

London

the

workman

of

GENIUS

who

could

cog-wheels

at

clockwork.

But

followingday

ing
search-

or

manufacture

lower

twelve-and-six, ten
shillings,
best

tenders

At

higher.
a

mechanism

With

specimen.

model

job

made

lamp

thousand

his

on

ago,

to

land
Eng-

firm

with

in

at

He

picked

me,

it/

birthday, Mr.

toy-maker's in

present.

told

pounds by

child's

mechanical

up

Holborn

steamboat.

Thirty shillings/
repliedthe

the

of
It

ridiculous

who

has

things.

cost

you

you'd
shillings
a

much

price to charge!' said

toy

was

you

see

sell

inquired.
man.

genius

That

probably

shillings.Don't
fifteen

that ?' he

priceof

what

Now,

Lowenfeld,

make

reproduce the

returned
the

even

pitched on

undertook,' he

What's

value

sallied

marks, and

'

'

he

the estimate

to

supply

to

looked

choose

half

justover

years

Lowenfeld
to

found

this Lowenfeld

first

the

I cleared
few

Then

the

eight shillings.

at

That's

and

were
shillings,

undertook

and

contracted

clockwork

six

at

and

who

trivance
con-

Twelve

price.

obtain.
he

this

last, in Vienna, Lowenfeld

mechanic

young

'

could

France, where

to

across

he

211

that
ten

for

'

'

spotting

made

between

at

berg.
Nurem-

five and

by sellingit
times

as

the

at, say,

many

bigger profit?'
14"2

six

and

212

RANDOM

REMINISCENCES

'Well, sir,'said
is

season

an

the

shopman, 'you

short
extraordinarily

one.

toy- dealers

any

Christmas

time

mentioning

therefore

do

we're

the

see,

It's

only

at

worth

trade

obliged to

toy

in for

go

big profits.'
I'll tell you

'

thinking the

what

matter

'

over.

for the last fifteen years

the

whose

mothers

do,' said

to

Get

then

that your

son's

week;

accordinglyventure

The
a

later

year

often

baby

be

the

would

repliedhe,
A

note
next

the

this
poor

price-list."3

wrote

worked
I

him

suggested,

'

to

to

admirably.

be,'

if,as

me,

must

lost

had

woman

in

dat

matter

simple surpriseat

to

de

my

comment.

fellow-countryman was

young
with

'

had

it would

related
case,

enclose

idea, and

in

her

!'

What

'

terrible

Lowenfeld

when

his

out

saying the plan

how

But

'

We

"

"

to

all

to

daughter's birthdayoccurs

or

carried

man

Times

appear

Madam,

"

after

write

addresses

column, saying, Dear

we

the

day

every

the Births

"

file of

and

names

Lowenfeld,

toy-maker

sent

?'

feld
Lowen-

to

letter of introduction.

What's

your

I don't

know,

job

?'

inquired he.

What

'

can

you

I've

had

do?'
'

ordinary sort

an

have
'

any

sir,'repliedthe
of education.

youth.
I don't

'

know

that I

specialbent.'

Well, look

here,' said Lowenfeld,

'

you

can

have

DON'T

this

for

room

I'll

directory.
and

You

stamps.
the

to

various

require
samples
The

and

did

man

stationery

book,
if

and

forward

to

so

they

he

as

fill with

the

told, and

was

of

specimens

office

various

medical

drugs, collapsibleboats, delicatessen,

Lowenfeld
the

write

if

asking

agricultural
implements, garments,

"

instruments,

what

that

with

beginning, and

the

at

agent,

began gradually to

etc.

you

mercial
com-

particulars.'

young

patents

supply

in

London

start

firms

Continental

Here's

office.

an

213

CARPETS

YOUR

BEAT

looked
had

post

in

inspected

and

day

every

promptly

brought,and

his

gave

verdict.
No

At

good.'
last, when

E's, and
kind

of musical

His

protege

had

in the

act

it

to

on

make
he

it

kicked

of the

will you
as

good
back

border.

the

is

money.

the

now

bargain,which

for

the

new

bulk

to

and

roll

clean

?' asked

used

we

Jetley,who

Mr.

huge

Mr.

decided

He

Jonathan.'

sent

which

carpet,

charge
as

arrived
saw

and

agency,

up

Poor

stage where

the

Lowenfeld

the

into

huge repository.

picked
*

got well

task, there

enormous

cleaned, and

What

the
a

an

of

had

his

in which

of

was

first

of

obtained

Lowenfeld

have

-box

manager

There

youth

wearying

was

wealthy

the

to

came

lay.
this

Lowenfeld,

Mr.

exposed

carpet

yard

or

and
as

two

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

214

Oh,

want

'it's in

pretty

Jetley;
did

it

say

you

big

How

it back

of

couple

say

the

by

end

week.'

Lowenfeld.

'

justdraw
Levilly,

Mr.

contract/

up

have

Mr.

it,'said

to

condition.

Well, we'll

I'lllet you

Right,'said

doing

good

was

sovereigns,and
of the

much

it doesn't

Next

in

Jetley arrived

Mr.

day

terrible

of

state

mind.
That

'

carpet's in
The

'

and

dirt

just the yard

course,

/
me

have

to

then

I'd

Oh,

'

beaming

at

new

least

charge

get

delight.

for

Saturday

next

Brookfield, kindly explain to

day

Mr.

Lowenfeld

and

told

to

send
'

What

before

'

at

your

good

as

Mr.

pounds.

Jetleythe

round
about

go
to

to

the

Jonathan

Poor

me

saw

to

me

look

nature

risk/

of commercial
The

even

Lowenfeld,

carpet

two

Mr.

and

job/

and

that

make

to

got

I shall

said

home

Go

it,and

the

Jetley!'

Mr.

It will

pounds,

ten

Of

me.

sample.

clean

else had

away,

You've

by

eight or

you
someone

with

fair

was

stained

showed

you

fortnightto

sooner

contract.

as

that

thought

two

or

claimed.
ex-

grease

and

indeed, it's all discoloured

except

take

with

of it is covered

centre

!' he

condition

terrible

my

idle,so
room

evening

?' I asked.

'

he

called

and

write

papers.

produced

was

me

to

him

paragraph

CHAPTER

Music-halls

varietyartist's

The

"

Cellier

MANY

The

"

tale of

years

theatrical
as

artistic

terms

He

sing

had

to

business, which
varieties

stage -doors

from
yes

one

the

to

!' said

the

thirty-eight
Laburnham,

you

'

other

and

so

proprietor.
He's

He's

rely on

"

from

vocalist.

I've

'

the
careful

been

Vance

driver
I call

to

get

and

you,
at

it

Clifton,

Harry

Great

an

bless

Lor'

one

of

where

knows
it takes

?'

the

to

have

you

who

long
on

he

palace

one

say
'

"

halls, and

driven

what

of mine

comic

dare

how

and

Jolly Nash,

can

him

nised
recog-

proprietorused

Powell,

said

are,

as

was

the

prevailed upon

was

"

take

other.

from

friend

different

fly from

year.

talent, in fact.

chap

Powell

three

at

experienced driver/

his

Alfred

"

music-hall

appear

should

the

to

"

and

dog-fancier

upwards step,

Vance

French

promotion

the

of

to

accordingly hired

as

before

George

by tempting

Lewis

Great

cheque.

that

to

named

actor

ago,

stage
an

Eric

"

The

"

Samuel

"

entertaining friends

the

coachman

original prestidigitator Mr.

An

an

XII

all

"

the

steady

regulargentle-

man's

his time, this

evening, punctual to
coachman

drew

Theobald's

where

Row,

of

well-set-upman
rubicund, in
rather

the

which

littlewhen

Drive

the

to

to

driver

chilled
tion
direcer

"

"

of
to

minutes,

his

on

calling

new

"

be

driven

the

vehicle

Granby.

to

when

Vance

used

he

workin'

Powell
of

felt rather
the

tumbler

this

old

Powell

was

the

gen'allyto
these

dry

under

would

the generous

his

riage
car-

few

After

the

outside

Marquis

observed

the

window.

offside

paternize

of his

this

'ouse

turns.'

and

something

driver

hall.

to

turn.

official

the

"

returned

the

towards

suggestion,and
of

next

coat

plenty of time/

driver, craning round

Mr.

and

pulled up

You've

'

fur-lined

big

his first

the bulk

removed

he

off,and

drove

successfully
performed

make-up,' threw

badge

caused

The

and
respectfully

Immediately afterwards,

and

the

give

Oxford, will you

the

saluted

Powell

George

of

and

kindled

himself

hear

was

heart, though

innermost

badge
flattering

had

in

stage-door/

The

'

He

rooms.

cockade, which

in Powell's

this

he

with

door

sixty, clean-shaven

about

hat

besoaped

glow

of

treasure

livery coat
fairlywell-fitting

pleasantflutter

had

he

ing
follow-

Powell's

George

at

up

The

me.'

understand

if you

servant,

217

'TURNS'

BETWEEN

flat,so

with
a

ice

availed

self
him-

gulping down

soon

was

like

he

in

it.

'

Perhaps

drink, too,' thought

influence

of refreshment

218

RANDOM

and, lookingout

The

old

Powell

His

threw

could

inquired

Powell

round

with

an

the

'ere

What

could

I'm

and

doubt

no

over

with
I

the

about

the

bar

said.
it

was

favourite
hails from

What

Let

'ere/

see!

Doorin'

this

'ere

shops, you're
And

having
which

point
"

he

off his
Irish

Mine's

"

hot.'
the

it

was

Harry Conway

in

America).

'

got

who

great

man,
'

Pleased

to

meet

circles

theatrical
We

my

Brookfield/

Mr.

introduce

?' interrogatedthe

name

1'Europe,

de

Cafe

on

to

tending
ex-

period

Theatre, just before

me

repeated.
formula

looked

by precedents

the

market

I think
'

'

?'

Look

rounded

in

was

eye.

social

established

of

coachman

'

these

long.

gait

little fellow

"

'

shepherd's

the

understand.'

Punch

"

Hay

me.

treasure

inches

with

in his

this

on

It

evening'swork.
introduced

then

pleasureof being presented to

the

adjoining the

this

have,

coachman

have

Vance.

his

And

in

twelve

you

flash

Punch,

years

had

clad

were

remark,
pacificatory

once

Great

and

why

genially. The

enlightened Powell

he

first time

job, as long as you're in

George

new

covered

box.

will

much

so

which

the

way,

only

angry

said, 'not

his

to

work.
only aspire to livery-stable

pigmy approached
4

called

something yourself?'

rug

from

for the

discovered

dachshund.

like

"

off the

plaid trousers)
were

he

er

"

legs(which,by

The

street, he

leapt nimbly

whip

you

man

knees, and

of

into the

'Would

servant,

REMINISCENCES

the

you
I

think

(a
it

subject of

entertainments.
learnt

John Parry
and

Only

'

One

chairman

diamond

studs

orchestra

conductor

which

it

about

town

strolled

his

hammer

The

young

to

the

Chandon,

gentleman
a

and

by

chair

of

the

to

table

budding

at

man

Lieutenant

sparsely filled,

were

ordered

there

with

back

The

sit.

to

the

in

hair

over

every

beam

from

the

long claret-coloured

right hand.

invitation, took
bottle

which

heavy

his

on

of

wine

were

on

the

musically extolled

moment

wig, and

of

accepted

merits

strolled

pointed hospitably with

empty

and

his

13th

days

curly

presided

stalls,which

officer

proffered seat,

those

with

sat

invited

an

the

in

invariably decorated

elegantiarum,who

arbiter

my

early seventies,

In

presently honoured

was

'

Baden-Powell)

ambition

the

into

Where

Haymarket

brother's

been

and

be

to

versation,
con-

cordially,take

the

in
my

who

"

the

was

of

and

moustache,

me

Comique.

the

generallywith

"

off.

Giant

to

music-halls.

the

of

heavy

the
'

minutes'

be

must

only

nothing.'

have

(itmay

Hussars

was

old

poor

there's

few

said,

fellow-officer

young

one

that

evening

summer

into

After

since

'

secret,

Well,' he exclaimed

it's doing

carriage;

by

great

door,'

next

Theatre.'

that

the

Vance,

going ?' inquired

you

and

said

explained

'

Ah,'

left!'

Grain

Dick

are

'

219

HONOUR

OF

SEAT

fair

Moe't

and

being

at

tiny stage

moustache,

frock-coat.

the

'

tow

Things

220

shockin', dear
in

affable

an

bit

undertone.

face.

the

answered

familiar

with

time, until

it,'said

the

the

to
fillip

the

on

go

I won't

like

audience.
I shall
The
his

If

to

requireis

small

tube

the

'

the

to

exhibition

of

principle. I
ever

which

the

stage

seen

an

am

now

illusion

going

London
All

tones,

and

no

rapped
'

Signer

appear/

said,

he

attention

kind

in this hall
in

perform

an

entirelynew

an

one

performed
to

next

gentlemen/

your

that

and

officer advanced

the young

to

through

chairman

The

prestidigitation
upon
guarantee

'

manager,

World, will

Ladies

submit

said, and

he

communicated

Revels

applause,and

propose

tainment.
enter-

talk business.

can

to

table/

of the

'

allowed

with

it goes

with

footlights.

some

legerdemain

table,exclaimingin stentorian

started

your

for

be

long show/

arranged.

was

I'm

say

chatted

should

like it,we

Vesuvio, the Wizard

to

how

of the

speaking

presentlyall

give

Can't

Still,here's

'

his

give

see

they

Master

the

and

You

suggested that, to give

proceedings,he

should

other.

boy.' They

stage

conjurer,'

Vesuvio.
*

know

to

seem

I'm

'

name.7

my

last the soldier

at

see,

Professor

'
"

know

'ealth, dear

good

on

officer

probably

may

me

be

to

expect

we

profession?'

the

In

But

'

Let

chairman

!' replied the

shockin'

"

quiet in August.

your

boy

'Oh,

hussar.

the

quiet,'commented

rather

seem

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the

this

manner

one.

has
in

I will

Will

stalls who

the

in

man

want

Thank

largeenough.

or

can

Thank

madam.'

think

there

affirm

that

is

which

table
with

the

minutes

two

well,

orchestra
Blue

Danube

lightlyto
to

struck

the

supper.

'

what

see

the

up

waltz

hall

see

the

he

me

?' he

them

inquired,and

the

teered.
volun-

and

time, and
watch

see.'
'

gallantentertainer

stage-door,hailed

over

man
gentle-

some

shall
of

the

the little

gentleman's

strains

can

placed

timepiece

stage for

to

this

we

covered

you

don't

prepared

whether

will

this

brim.

entirelyoff

Now

his

the

preciselyby
shall

you

the

cut

the

pocket-knifeon

kindly time

I shall leave

to

from

brim

hand, and

at

produced

man

young

the

shawl.

watch

'

off

stood

and

purpose.

my

can't;' and

we

hat

borrowed

with
a

the

of

remains

whether

or

gentlemen, there's

the

we'll

Now

nicely.

apparatus.

the

cut

not

not

large bandanna

and

in

Now

that's

proceeded

or

anyone

gentleman's hat.
repair it

ladies

An

rapt
'

will do

answer

then

mirrors

I have

that

entirelyaway

observe,

you

would

hat

deception, no

no

his topper.

with

He

part of the

Now,

sir

obligeme

anyone

you,

upper

silk hat ?'

listeningwith
up

you,

lady's lightshawl

the audience.

good sharp pocket-knife. No,

Now,

me

was

handed

immediately

attention
I

from

gentleman kindly lend

any

old

221

articles borrowed

nothing but

use

TRICK

NEW

in
"

The

Beautiful

stepped

hansom, and

drove

222

of

of

powers

entertaining.

wealthy

property

their side
to

He

son

One

desired

that

they

another

sing,another

to

imitations,and
'The

'

you

think

elect

if you

undertake

it's going

to

to

bore

unanimous
Bored!

Sam,

I shan't

were.

you

quite

enjoy

so

the

play

his clever

said

piano,

farmyard

as

the

with

dine

so

rightaway,

'

little

Sunday

me

and

There

Oh,

we're
was

French

Mr.

'My

one.

question

weekly

If you

it.

to

future, there's
a

Samuel

Mr.

ment
go in for this arrange-

to

exclaimed

from

in the
much

him

amuse

accomplishments.

to

protest.

next!'

apart

remembrance

him

with

dine

offended.'

be

and

outcry
What

on

unreasonable.

through with

go

Sunday, why, just say

we

of

forth.

so

is that

bulk

their time

dinner

only stipulationI make,'

French,

he

provided

the

of

should

give

to

that

well

not

their various

of

them

some

after

various

few, if they

selected

seemed

friends,

with

divide

to

recite, another

to

was

dozen

was

devote

conditions

exhibition

the

after

his

Sunday evening, and

every

by

reminded

willingto

His

merely

He

this

ceived
con-

cheering his declining

minded

was

among

were

him.

that

man,

he

that

for, and

Strand,

himself, all endowed

than

men

younger

the

together half

assembled

He

years.

for

business

the

acquired

publisher in

singularidea

his

theatrical

the

Lacy,

was

French, who

Samuel

Mr.

as

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

of

any

nothing
reunion

dear
little

I should

/' cried

224

them

bound

himself
to

always

main

had

third

been

What

no,

is

'one

performance

all

the

events

that, after

old

all, is the

the

vocalist,
thank

for

like

So

tale

the

of

feign

to

polka.

The

wisely let

cana,' very

hall,and

popular

Carmen

commenced
passage
*

from

when

Doctor

and

Came

out

With

them

about
the

"

the seed

of

Rusti-

lie in the

repetitionof

had chosen
Omar

the

in I went.

learning did

ring
stir-

Khayyam.

more

as

had

novelty in

great argument

ever

door

same

'

party

eagerly frequent

but

I'll

mimic, however,

He

heard

no,

old-fashioned

music

The

did

No,

buffo

Cavalleria

new

with

saint, and

by

the

'Rubdiyat'of

young

it and

mortified

La

his roll of

recitation.

the

Myself

About

'

'

change

prepared

Fantasia.'

serious

this ?

impecunious

'

the

from

what's

!'

polka's
rollicking

want

for

himself

contented
'

the

had

selections

the

enthusiasm

who
pianist,

of

shape

'

and

abruptly abandoned,

Hullo

'

change.'

When

me.

'

he

thought,'stammered

'I

!'said his host

which

week.

French,

might

you

boldly into

by Jury,'at

all the

polka?'

'

you

you.'

Trial

'

Samuel

Mr.

dashed

singer

hard

working

about

again

the

that

artist

second

'at

and

from

song

good enough
tell

the

'

the

Sunday

Judge's

exclaimed

the

reflection

flat/and

pleased,

each

And

thing.'

The
the

the

bit,'that
bit

goes

week.

next

with

vary

seemed

man

till

revoir

au

consoled

was

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

'

sow

the

It's from

Rubdiyat

"

"

Mr.

clown.'

mere

'It's

Khayyam,
the

'/'//show

proudly,thinkingto himself,
a

of Omar

said
philosopher,'

great Persian

the

inquired

French.

Samuel
'

all this?*

what's

hullo!

'Hullo!

225

LAYER

ANGRVT

AN

comedian

him

I'm

he

reallyfine thing.' And

not

proceeded :
*

And

with

And

this

'

the

Come

on,

There

Rahat

was

lay the

help

no

his
the

to

too

the

be able

to

of the

true

scent

His

cluckinghad

Cochin

farmyard

the

it

the

on

of

hen.

back.

succeed

in

into

the

roll

sofa, and

the hoarse

thrown

an

to

!' finishingwith

cachinnation
wail

old

had

George

'

the

Cock-aBut

he

bringingthe

drawing-room.

indignant ring

an

less the

than

to

never

!'

hide

head

mind

'

the

want

sofa and

quaking

angry

suggested

host,

egg

Brt-bt-bt-bt-bt

!' with

doodle-do
was

'

it grow.

'

for it.

and

make

to

"

I sow,

that I reapt

like

Lakoum

George

commence

leap on

wrought

interrupted the

his handkerchief

up

hand

all the harvest

was

!'

no

about

own

my

learningdid

like water, and

came

No,

of

the seed

them

With

of

in

it, which
contented

aggrieved Spanish

mother.
When
host

added

he

was

the

leaving with
usual

reminder

layer-of- eggs -malgrd-lui

said

the
to

others, and
his

his

farewell,the

boldly, No,
*

15

Mr.

French,

old

man's

not, pray

?' he

The

shan't

country/ said

to

You

tell them

must

That

me.

other

The

the

their

loyally to

accomplishments

genialold

however.

older

every

merrier, and
one

became

seemed

host

them,

As

week,

'

know.'

you
no

escape.

on

these

half-dozen

But

he

stuck

one/

every

melancholy
their eyes

menced
com-

lost their

bright

infirmities.

perceive no

they

Their

difference

paler,sadder,

grew

all

at

life.

emaciated, their

to

credit,

Sundays,

year

tedious

to

seemed

to

in
and

rosier,

grow

younger.

apostatized.

comic

singer.

simply

vanished

never

for

cheeks,

became

lustre, their bodies

firmly, you

was

of his natural

their

defiantly.

themselves,

bargain.

furrow

to

Only

sold

'jolly companions

once

some

in the country.

There

head.

part of

"

previouslyengaged

"

greater

er

"

comedian

friends

publisher
term

Because

'

understanding,

had

fellows

for the

"

For
men,

his

bowed

American

the

events

the

Why

'

over.

French

were

you

was

his

and

the

Samuel

you.'

staying with

be

disappoint your

will have

to

shall

town.

afraid/ said Mr.

am

He

slightlyclouded

able

be

with

dining

inquired gravely.

in the

friends

of

pleasure

face

in

be

the

I shall not

afraid

I'm

Sunday

next

give myself

to

'

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

226

afterwards

He
from

gave
the

mentioned

I think

it

was

word

of

country.

His

no

at

the

the

once

warning
name

"

was

Sunday banquets,

auri

common

each

Mr.

Samuel

who

French,
remarked,
to

sorry

loser.

kind

your

They

"

hear

force

from

sure.'

'

then

was

the

I'm

I shall

that, when

with

after

Carmen

?'

much

piano, at
and

Fantasia/ and

their

toys,

concludingwith

the

'

feel

goodone.

Good-night.'
be

to

And

such

done
is

the

round, it

came

which

Pagani's in
the

pianistsat

mechanicallyplayed

the

the

suit

tricks, like

with

with

was

day

miss

inquired

dining together at

dinner

various

the

of rest,

day

glad you

reply.

forthcoming holiday.

privateroom

'

real

shall very

We

week,

me/

in their all

himself

Sunday

next

along,debating what

of habit

ended

am

holiday for you.1

the prospect of

at

Sunday

walked

this

on

Sunday's

Next

'

pleasure of receivingyou.

I'm
hospitality,

humour.
You'll

Samuel

good-night :

way,' repliedtheir host, beaming

it that

his guests

put it like that !

dorit

excellent

French,' they exclaimed, though their

bounded

hearts
'

the

Mr.

Oh,

usual

the

good friends, that

my

say,

the

should

exceptionally
high spirits,

in

he bade

as

have

shan't

the time

of

good publishersgo.7

night, after

was

thought

subsequent solemnities, Mr.

and

dinner

when
all

where

go

the

one-thirtieth

extra

an

fortune
'

to

Sunday

One

be

get

French's

for him

arrive

togetherby

fames, rejoicedin

sacra

would

that

remained, cemented

the five who

and

227

HABIT

OF

FORCE

others
so

followed

many

mimic, who

wound-up
laid
15"2

newer

than

egg
it

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

228

he

laid

had

In

the

of the

course

with

crossed

corner

of

old

after the

long

an

died.

man

Whether

French's
been

will

one

up

laying.

an

Lewis

and

his kind

advertisement

What

of

offers ?' and

of

yard

which

clothes

doggy

they

coloured

"

All

the

in

take

Avenue

Royal

Buster,

as

the

Chelsea
much

Field

tradesmen

praisedby

'

they

want

the

paid

the

him

the

lot of

inordinately
rather

into
a

scarf-pin

also commenced
of

the

K.C.S.B.

diverging
all the

did

just

feet

of

ing
neighbour-

homage.

milkman,
milk

about

sum

became

He

baker, who

by

small

called,and

was

Pedigree dog.

prated
at

were

dog

Spratt's biscuits
Eric

and

has

answered

once

blossomed

hare.

part,

comedian

waistcoats, and

representinga scudding
to

for

Eric, I remember,

proud.

the

Dachshund.

'

first had

the old man's

old father

obtained

of

dog,

the

or

Samuel

Mr.

from
on

the

of

legacy, large

I believe

know.

ever

entirelygiven
Eric

scheme

marriage
re-

very

one

altered

practical
joke

sardonic

the

or

the

not

not

matrimony

views,

in the

name

And

But

received

sprightly entertainers
small.

French.

card

announcing

arrow,

Samuel

Mr.

received

lady'smaiden

over

born.
his first-

been

each

week

printed in silver,with

no

it had

as
though
enthusiastically

as

cackled

months, and

for

He

was

brisk

trade

who

assured

while

in

they're

SUCH

shaping'; by
*

livingin

need,
and

fanciers
'

was

and

nothing

meet

and

as

obtained

instinct

dailycabbage

on

butcher, who
for

good

who

principlesprevailed,and
exhibit

his

authority

length

of

the

his

breeder

and

we'll

'

sight of

I don't

the

old

to

decided

the

of

dogs,

His

dog
this

should
canine

let him

to

watch

faultless

the

him.

word

'whatever

what

part

your

ing
await-

about

Buster.

in after the

I wonder
to

Eric

were

they

guest's

our

the

by

dine.

said, as
say

first

modest

Chelsea,
and

young

more

conquer

and

come

feel inclined

man,

there

chanced

country.

ears

won't

we

just

dog-

fore-legs. Accordingly,

'

tell William

catches

he

and

the

to

kinds

Buster, but

here, father,'he

their guest,
We'll

the

conquered

body

of

Look

had

his

bandiness
invited

he

as

meat,'

declared

many

merits, and

own

they

green

last Eric

At

over

about

brag

to

herbs

strengthenin'a

bred

had

prizes all

was

find the
of

sirloin bone.1

represented that

plenty

the

so

man

'em

give

by

who

they can't

extra

an

dog's teeth
to

where

should

foisted

229

the greengrocer,

town,

you

DOG

with

friend

pudding,
when

face
he'll

he

say.'

Buster,' said
offer

may

for

him/
'

No,

don't

no,

course

not

fancy he's reallya

Just then
was

of

the

bountiful

!' said

very

Eric.

Besides,

rich man/

announced.

guest

was

and

excellent,

but

The

dinner

conversation

230

RANDOM

hosts

both

flagged,for
effect which

REMINISCENCES

should

coup de theatre.
baba

the

conquering

glass in
the
1

took

dogs

?'

"2

of him.

can

allowed

was

to

Cellier

the

compelled
methods

make,

to

of

of

many

for

He

in the

was

the

to

and

it

of

the

than

one

spell of

smartly-dressed
them

of

from

them,

as

most

he's

me

(This
had

been

faulty financial
morants.)
Cor-

its

tremendous

bucks

this time.

at

success

and

light

prosperity,
not

assembled

will

the

which

obligingthe popular musician.

it

happened,

sovereign, when
Irish

successful

most

accordinglythe poverty,

was

prevented
Not

It's

'

members.'

the

the

he entered

light-hearted
young

height of

enjoying

was

cheque
lovable

committee

'Dorothy,'Cellier's
opera,

?'

tells
hall-porter

the

owing

at

dog

me

Club.

cheques

rule, which

new

his

moment

that

night,as

one

Cormorant

cash

fixed

gentle, humorous,

extraordinarything,but
not

authority

inquired doubtfully:

change

of the

Buster,

last he

At

if anyone
the

opened

the

time

some

about

asked

supper-room

door

and, after staring for

Alfred

composer

their

spoonfulsof

waddled

bit of the Dach

I wonder

for

final

in

favourite, he

pampered

Isn't there

For

notice

his eye,

and

means,

hero.

no

the

disappearing,the

invisible

some

on

last,as

were

by

the

to

presentlybe produced by
At

rhum

au

looking forward

were

could

suddenly

muster

more

swarthy,

kempt
un-

in untidy day clothes, Barry

journalist,

232

the

to

on

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

handed
the

table.

with

Alfred

profuse

the

bell, cashed
and

pint of

wine.

Barry

late bird.

Alfred,

his chair

drawing
was

sitting,I'm

you

to

get

I don't
bore
the

which

know

priceof

But,

than

worse

morning

'

I fancied

that
have
old

but

"

mother's.

kinder

to

tell her

to

my

Of

sure

of

find

by

eleven

full of

cram

to
even

to-morrow

this

o'clock

to

go

into

She's
she

the

note.

can

dear

she'd
let

deal

I darerit

give

me

her, poor

old

feelingin

the

cheque'sjust as good
I'll pay

"

So

great

afford.

I mustn't

"

City to-day to

been

you'llappreciatemy
your

say

It's all my

troubles, for I know

and

to

money.'

of it's mine.

penny

England

want

whisky-and-soda.

to

up,

interruptedCellier
thought,'

pocket

course,

want

I haven't

delightedto notice, that's

once,

I don't

turn.

by

say,

his friend

hard
infernally

so

Irishman,

hole, and

the

and

always

fire where

of

or

he

club

the

as

was

worries, but

already than

at

I'm

of

way

to

I had

me

of

matter.

I'm

dividends.

money

soul !

Bank

was

not

her

it.

home,

'But

you'd got

draw

the

"

devil

that, I've got

that's

"

morning
*

cab

the

the

to

grilland

said the

boy/

to

all my

with

you

of

to

Cellier

"

dear

my

in the

out

me

down

"i

four o'clock

alone

round

out

patientlyon,

sat

left

were

composer

journalist,
rang

sent

note,

towards

and
emptied itself,

the

to

himself

settled

cabman,

thanks

he

cheque, which

his

wrote

the

lot into

as

her

FLEECED

account

But

to-morrow.

So

troubles.

my

have

me

natured

wanted

And

farewell

tender-hearted

^8

Alfred

to

that

week

you

or

Cellier

eight
lamb

her

perhaps

know

of

let

you'd

like

two,

You

are.

the

said

good-

you

only

'

know

you

let

that

thought

for

chap
two,

mustn't

immediately
hard-earned

that

bade

sovereigns,
he

was.

permanent
like

the

CHAPTER

'Customers'
An

Society'

Protection

operation
A

Hospital
"

their ways

who

lady
How

"

intrusion

changed

make

to

Cross

Charing

"

unwarrantable

An

"

XIII

out

Hospital"
Westminster

at

her

doctor

fire

assurance

"

and

Firemen

inventory
"

Fires in theatres.

IT

in sheer

was

that

I chanced

one

of

the

buy

at

Messrs.

idleness

morning

one

boxes

of

ulterior

no

the

count

to

cigaretteswhich
and

My burg

it contained

with

and

of

contents

daily to

I used

that

found

Piper's,and

only twenty-four

object

of

instead

twenty-

five.
But
time

the

afterwards

Mutual
of

when

bogies,
mind

so

thinks

enemy
the

poor

alarm

to

be

must

the

for

face

would

long
the

from

Protection
and
the

just as

his

shield

timid

of

on

to

such

untutored

whose

by flourishingthe
'

Myburg

that

me

himself

tradesman

debt-collectingsociety
'

to

ugly

paints an

letter

Messrs.

pay

It occurred

who

frighten his

to

mind

my
a

Society

Trade, conjuring me

Piper's account.

to

I received

Communication

Chinaman

back

discovery came

name

possiblybe

of

terrified

OF

PROTECTION

THE

by

similar

had

some

235

CUSTOMERS

Accordingly, I

means.

printed with

notepaper

the

PROTECTION
THE

THE

FOR

CUSTOMERS,

OF

i,

heading :

SOCIETY

COMMUNICATION

MUTUAL

immediately

TEMPLE,

CLOISTERS,

E.C.

LONDON,

Secretary: GEORGE

I also had
address
and

the

which

sheet

Piper's account

take

to

at

proceedings
would

of

value

brought

be

received, owing

paid

for and

and

Piper's custom

not

The

followingday

from

the

Another
six

firm, who
time

"

only

me

lose

received

received

this

that

action
counter-

to

Messrs.

the

I had

I considered

to

molested

never

I had

only
shillings

offered

and

Myburg

quarter-hundred

containing only twenty-fourcigarettes.

boxes

boxes

tary,
secre-

"$, being

sellingas

of

George

their clients elect

recover

which
cigarettes,

1,000

'

Myburg

meanwhile,

to

friend,

the

at

other

convenience

the

in

the

Messrs.

pay
own

my

to

prejudice;that, should

without

was

I would

that

of

official paper,

his

of

door

that

was

Washington (per C.B.),'wrote

saying

the

painted over

name

mentioned,

upon

ESQ.

WASHINGTON,

paid
a

small

druggist,a

receiptwhich

humble
me

again.

account

Mr.

apology

"

five

or

Fryer (who

refused, saying I should

it); but, notwithstandingthis,I presently

from

the

Trade

Protection

Society

an

236

RANDOM

application

for

immediately

wrote

DEAR

George

payment.

back, saying
FRYER'S

'

REMINISCENCES

Washington

ACCOUNT.

SIR,
*

have

We

hold

and

paid Fryer's account,

the

receipt.'
Then
the

came

held.

receiptwe

DEAR

which

To

FRYER'S

'

that

politerequest

should

we

George replied:

ACCOUNT.

SIR,
We

have

to

refuse

client's

receipted bill,except

in

the

for the

followingreasons

'

of
of

are

to

sorry

West-End

tradesmen
for the

That

the

ended

The

Society for

of considerable

he

the Protection
to

introduced

McKenna,
man.

played

to

me

think,

My

show

to
(iii.)

the

of Trade.'

host

'George Washington'

made
and

to

him

long

by
in

name

me

the

"

was

time.

It

unpardonable

an

Harry

one

Edinburgh,

brother-in-law

the

was

me

upon

his

of Customers

for

me

dining with

was

tance
impor-

ness
careless-

the

Protection

abruptly to exist, owing

Morrell.

the

correspondence.

service

practicaljoke

your

County Court,

show

and

show

to

show

To
(i.)

to
keeping receipts;(ii.)

of Societies
fallibility

ceased

show

most

tell him

'society/to

"

and
Mr.

able
agreeall about
which

he

finished, Morrell

I had
fair

of Stubbs

editor

shattered
It
late

who

tell you

to

in

knife.

fifteen years

believe, by

for

the

of

officially
opened,

myself.

He

told

the

night before

sat

joviallyin

hospital,where
had

that

so

I need

the

operation;

not

walked

with

left

they

out

at

the

air about

place

strict attention
cubicle

on

who

had

probably

aid
mud

and

to

poor

appeared

young
woman,
to

the

have

three

or

door

of the

was

of
his

the

on

doctor
who

been

grave

of

little

young

van-driver,

box.
other

was

was

gaiety

into

glanced

off

the

impression

an

head

no

crossed

entrance-hall

fallen

apartment

another

atrium

the

stitchingup

corresponding
the

of

o'clock

all my

found

gave

business.

side

one

was

surgeon

to

had

which

to

I
nine-fifty

the

finger-tips.There

my

not

high spirits
; but

and

me

at

room

Two

to

me

in

parted

we

had
a

until

neighbouring club.

in

in till ten

so

his

to

taken

I had

go

the

(presented,I

ward

threshold, bag in hand, than

oozing

submit

be

to

me

me

companions

sooner

was

friend

Rothschilds)which

yet been

boon

shield

my

to

me

Hospital, in

one

that

ago

advised

arranged

Cross

Charing

only

Stubbs, the

He's

Chinaman's

My

Bellamy

He

is.

it's

now

instant.

an

Edward

And

'

McKenna
List'

about

was

said

When

attention.

apparently amused

with

listened

237

PREPARE!'

'COME,

In
side

of

ing
administercovered

recentlyrun

with
over.

238

RANDOM

REMINISCENCES

Presently the
desk

Name

'

Charles

Brookfield.'

Address

?'

?'

7 A, Sackville

Nearest

'

beg

'

Oh, I

see

'

Same

address

'

Oh

friend, in

yes,

certainly.'

the

way

to

hoisted

by

the

"

They

nurses.

undress, which

but

In the

morning

She

my

the

and

Sister

all the

arranged

and

along

the

ward,

she

was

where

called

held

of

table

me

was

an

ordinary

an

kind

appliances the
on

It

slept very
a

and

"

bade

bed.
than

higher
I

ful
delight-

and

into

long

soundly.
parade

the

stopper

stiflingme),

with

minute

in

full

my

pyramidal

(destined presentlyto

rolls

of

lint

and

of

of

hospital possessed.
view,

great discomposure, a jar of chloroform

jar of ether, each

over

his shoulder

on

screen

got

comfortable.

"

to

up

I did, and

very

apparently

"

Frances

set

operation-bed,harder

of

Sister

Sister

kindly lady

one,

staircase

up

bag

my

lofty,airy,dimly-lightedroom,

received

was

anything happens.'

case

?'

porter

corridor

?'

wife, I suppose.7

My

the

led

and

?'

pardon

your

Nearest

Then

Street, Piccadilly.'

friend

'

two

his

to

me

'

'

called
receiving-officer

be

and

felt cap
used

cotton-wool,

in
a

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

240

in which

I fancied
hideous

creature

so

face it.

And

off,which

and

more

be

to

friend

more

those

of

I heard

the

went

tell

of the
third

to

to

be

ward.

myself

the

left

the
I

However,

bandaged

up

my

and

on

I'm

cigar

one

to

and

had

Can

you

inquired

mind,
on

neatly arranged.

floor

I rather
and

the third

of

poor
I

was

fused
con-

I think

floor.

appeared
private

in, heartily,and
a

called

second

old friend

with

the

on

wrong,' he

extravagance

room

who

the left

door/

third door

'

friend

?' I

It's the

'

third

burst

small

visit

door

little surprisedto find my

indulging in

my

attentive

Anning

No!

'

in

the

to

gone

Cross

over

ankle, and

Mr.

Second

'

the

"

in

tific
scien-

slate

Hospital.

find

directions

alone

Laurence

whisky,

pay

his

broken

I shall

your

turned

Charing

most

to

ago

correctinghimself.

have

was

on

Westminster

to

these
must

in

were

floor,'he replied.

turn

"

nearer

excellent.

was

hall-porter.

after me,

Friar

days

of

nurses

had

where

me

ten

ounces

littlewhile

taken

been

; two

food

who

mine

of

his

and

scribbled

The

the

kind, and

and

nearer

bed, discussing some

happy

diet

after dinner/

and

day.

very

Free

'

round

turn

not

voices, apparently a long

Bellamy

Hospital. Bellamy
bed,

deformed

some

until they
intelligible,

foot of my

topicof
I had

I dared

gradually came

and

the

at

pursued by

was

that

then

way

out

found

corpse
so

all

taken

aback

and

bow,

pardon

!' and

accident

ward

boiled

who,

Mrs.

Chalmers

the
acted

brothers

and

two

much

of sister and

desire

Mrs.

her

formidable

rather

there

had

been

daily read

until

recentlyhad

three

or

she

had

people who

very

impatient of

suffer.
have

It

the

younger
the

of

monthly

All the
four

duty

which

intercourse

pay

than

ward

sense

visit

to

family

brothers

Times

in

have
the

one

never

"

were

"

do

for

But

of her
been

eighty-three
and
spectacles,
of

some

with

to

time

past

ailingbefore, was

her

her

walking her

knees, and, like

slightdiscomfort

occurred
to

without

in the habit

day.

her

despite

been

never

something

more

kinswoman.

pain

most

all her

vigorous.

four miles
had

was

to

Derwentwater,

years,

to

sixtyyears

guardian and

sisters and

ten

and
tall,straight,

Lady

it

elder

between
relationship

Chalmers

prompted

tea, with

mother

affectionate

for

highroad

eighty-three,

was

parentis

that of

sister,and

the

in

of her

awe

who

The

sisters.
more

in

of their

in loco

your

seventy than

nearer

was

somewhat

death

egg-cup.

Derwentwater,

on

before, had

than

indiarubber

still stood

sister, Lady

was

an

the

on

substantial

beg

Anning

below,

floor

Oh,

'

found

241

did, I made

out,

indulging in

Although
sixty,she

the

on

in

egg

stammered
withdrew.

recovery,

and

'

IMAGINAIRE

MALADE

that, hardly knowing what

low

to

LA

that

she
age

had

to

might

visitation.
trifling
16

242

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

She

believed

it

her

accordinglychanged
One

when

day,

old friend
had

she
are

her

putting out

hand.

How

'

all these

after

you

again

well

you're looking,and,
how

so,

remarkably

tone,
upon

his

mind

I'm

kind.

"

?' asked

Mrs.

say,

is.'

'

good

Must

delighted if
'

No,

'I

"

no,

no

I could
!'cried
be

such

in

I'm

sure

persuade
the

old

off,and

you

I've

seen

her,' he

her

?'

peated.
re-

regret
that

manner,

hurry

to

me,

sister

my

is

unaccountable

to

in

"

grave

How

yes,

seen

"

seemed

changed

go
'

er

"

she

"

deal

you

reallymust

have

Oh

occupied
pre-

you're

as

sister?

with

General,

er

"

Chalmers.

Mrs.

Chalmers.

just

go

my

the

She's

to

seen

extremely

You're

'

say

dear

something

had

have

you

embarrassment.
'

sorry

very

my

you,

see

to

soldier,but in

old
he

allowed

Thank

'

how

And
be

conscience.

or

answered

her/

to

!'

though

as

arriving.' 'Have
she

if I may

How

to
delightful

years

young

whom

cordially,

exclaimed

very

Chalmers,' repliedthe

Mrs.

hall

in the

met

thirtyyears.

or

?' she

old friend

dear

my

you,

her

at

India, and

from

for twenty

seen

called

family,Major-General Fontanier,

of the

not

week.

once

she

Square,

only latelyreturned

had

she

advisers, and

Chalmers

Mrs.

ness
careless-

the

to

about

doctor

in Onslow

sister's house

who

medical

her

incapacityof

or

an

entirelyowing

be

to

pleaded

would

come

be
back/

gentleman emphatically.
at

once.

Good-day

to

'

you,

dear

my

hurried
could

the steps
him.

carry

she

dear

Maria

pain.'

?' she

the
I

'

retorted.

evidently did

new

him

not

Dr.

man,

Rhoda

began

to

him

met

at

guess

elder sister
and

room,

friend.

went

would

stuck

way,

and

to

He

my

(Mrs.

at

practitionersare
drink
my

dear

glass of
madam

said,

!)

but

I
He

don't

of

an

it

to

him.

my

medical

what

him

asked

said,

"

"

By
to

me

you

affected

most

old

seemed

Perhaps

ask

the

into the

fine, 'pon

know

port.
;

in

Devilish

to

"

I showed

his eye

don't

coming

Chalmers

bounding

knee," and

(I really

You

tongue, which

my

gallantGeneral's

all the effusion

then

"

for

stupid little man/

came

to

somebody

hall.'

He

but

the

eyeglassin

exclaimed

I sent

name,

he

as

I had

case,

just now.

with

look

that,

him

of the

was

Fairchild,

called

my

longer in

He

was
'

you,

Dr.

And

again.

cause

And

see

his

honour!"

might

the

on.

I let him

like

in

greetedme

puzzle him.

means,

call

forgethis

"

'

He

my

to

discomfiture.)

to

understand

friend,

agony] Lady

to

wrote

told

deal

sister,who

acutest

and

recommended.
have

may

not

cheque,

are

hope you're no

sufferingthe

am

enclosed

request

old

her

How

'

her

inquired of

he

And

good

was

upstairs.

sofa.

Derwentwater
and

Chalmers

way

243

his stiff littlelegs

as

singularbearing of

her

'

LUI

good-day.'

"

fast

as

Mrs.

the

made

lying on

Chalmers

Mrs.

down

mystifiedby
but

MALGR6

M"DECIN

LE

if I

all

join

RANDOM

244

I daren't

you.

had

anything?"
little man
I shall

think
I

touch

off.

be

to

aren't

certainlywrite

lived

in

the

soap-dish used

It

sounded

sleep.

again by

to

to

open

was

my

the

with
then

Albert

came

into

hours

brass

door

bed.

He

which

He

the

trailed

in

me

who

axe.

through

A
my

room,

of

could

be

re-overtook
dreamless
awakened

was

in

which

great

way,

fell it in

hose

at

hood,
neighbour-

too

ordinary

en

report

bathroom,

preferredto

his

soon

woke

stertorous,

much

was

in the

door

one

later,probably

later

my

the

as

who
shoulder-guards,

of

my

home
was

forth, slumber

so

a.m.

immediate

my

bedroom

my

at

wondering

was

three

with

the

the handle.
manner

and

or

helmet, and

close

flat in

huge fireman, fullyequipped

attacking

what

and

like

me

in

fell back

Two

hours

report
to

while

why,
I

it.

few
a

discharging firearms

and

tell her

Railway, and

day

half-pasttwo,

five, I heard

pistol. And,

me,

me

that time.

by

but

Underground

sleep.

and

and

number,

beneath

about

at

sursaut.

stairs

rattle every

to

passed

sound

about

the

give

to

extraordinary

ground-floor

forget the

morning

the

he

said

!'
once

first train

going

But

Rhoda

to

then

He

you

down

halfway

of him

myself."

exclaimed.

exactlyover

very

it

But

"

was

Mansions.
was

REMINISCENCES

like
and

brass
was

was

swell

by turning
professional
sea-serpent
my

magnifi-

DOUBLY

'ASSURANCE

cent

friend

new

to

It

arrive

that

front of the
the

bed

fire

spread

fire,that

and

by

it

set

the

to

heard, which
caused

all the

fire
so

I turned
I

forget

insured, but
called
of

champagne.

'

nice

extremely

an

I'm very

wine

sir.'

glad

you

indeed, sir/ he

lips.
and

We

in the

was

then

bathroom.
hurled
removed.

My

into

my
*

to

finished

to

reach

furniture

my

drank

glass.

on

wine

trade

I.

to

proceeded

to

Well, sir/

had

myself

at

wine.

inspect the

said

been
the

pint

That's

agent.
nice

very

smacking

say,

neighbour's furniture, so
charge,

agent

the

It's

was

an

opened

wine, sir/ remarked

went

bed,

my

secretary, and

like it/ said

the

me

sleep.

my

followingday.
each

of my

yards

assured

not

society
the

"

knick-knacks,

three

could

I had

above

apartment

appreciatea good glass of

We

leapt on

was
pistol-shot,

the fireman

what

the

air in

sound

bookcases,

But

I wrote
me

upon

of the

control, and

with

the

be

fallingwithin

and

that

and
to

had

that

to

furniture

"

over

coal

to

smouldering, that presently the

taken

bath.

under

was

red-hot

ottomans,

coal-scuttle,etc.
into my

due

was

mattress

menced
com-

tinylavatory.

Continent,

put

floor,and

I had

tables, chairs,

head

had

servant

and

snout

overhead

the

from

245

into my

water

neighbour

morning

faithful

some

of

tons

that my

appeared

its brazen

grasped

pour

SURE'

by

agent,

one

his

time,

Thank'ee,
wretched

suddenly
this

'what

time
do

246

claim

you

?'

on

claim/

stand

I'm

and,

furniture
it

as

my

China

ewer,

sponge-bowl,and
besides, sir ?

Was

'

Oh

kind.'

carpet,
don't

'

feet

by
I

allowed

window,

to

of
my

what

and

'

'

friend
to

with
know

in

the

don't

sir ?'
of

friend,

my

seamless
And

border.

you

proceeded,

was

But,

of carpet

in your

'

the

bath

we're

blind

not

to

the

torted
Very well, then,' re-

rising enthusiasm
;' and

make

to

you,

asking, but

'

room,

bath, you

Axminster

There

course,' I said.

ends, four

your

seeing you
my

self
him-

to

added.

scrap

sir,' he

suppose,

no

at

sir,' said
'

say

foldings,

allowed

feet, with

suggest

I wanted

else

of

was

you

dictate

over

boards,

you,

you'llexcuse

course

book.
note-

with

turnover

out

notes.

did

And,
to

not

get

there

neighbours lookingin
Of

We're

Thank

his

mind,

?'

nothing

bare

to

wash-

in his

what

continued

you

no,' I said

returning

'

the

on

was

of tiles in

row

understand, sir,'he

when

there

portmanteau.'

wrote

portmanteau,

inquired.

stand

some

he

there

suggestions,you

just

he

as

thick, turned

steel bands.

suppose,

double

portmanteau

Sole-leather

sir ?' he

old

an

of

basin, soap-dish,brush-holder,

me,

extra

friend

corners,

cap

with

see,

Only

slop-pail.And

from

prompting
*

put in much

room.

happened,

back,' murmured

I can't

in the

washstand

Mahogany
'

afraid

repliedreluctantly. 'You

no
practically

'

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

he

went

on

'

thafs

muttering

248

curb
he

the

other.

shouting Hi, hi, hi

!'under

of his

with

helmet
'

was

he

was

his

on

crowded

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

and

engine

flicker had

'

taken

It's

business.

own

to

was

Much

has

in theatres

; but

of

It

after

one

in

several

was

stage and

said about
a

can't

away,

their

mind

if

their bloomin'

play

the

the

where

theatre

owing

to

smoking

(and

have

that

no

just mentioned)
the

of tobacco.

use

fancy,

and,

ago,

of

inquiry I

fire

I have

one

years

danger

great deal of

case

than

serious

has occurred

went

?'
been

heard

more

the

to

on

go

parts for 'em

only

he

they like it, I wonder,

would

'Ow

round, heaved

as

jolly funny thing people

the

spot where

the

retired, muttering

sigh, and

his

witness

to

looked

He

place.

through

passage

sad

was

reached

he

disappointment when

It

impression

the

clearinga

thoroughfare.

think

I rather

the

at

Criterion.
It

the

was

also

say

every

duty

the

then

out.

night-watchman (who

set

and

"

At

glowing.
himself
its

owe

to

theatre

and

this

four

o'clock

matting

cocoanut

could
memory

hours

four

ignitedand
and

the

fireman)to patrol the

carried

found

of

in

"

tiously
conscienhe

morning
the

passages

speedilyextinguished it,

He

think

to

logicalmind
to

and
the

this

what

origin. Being

instincts,he finally
came

he

one

of

one

intervals

at

duty

was

man

Sherlock
conclusion

tion
conflagrawith

Holmes
that

the

of

cause

that,
he

out

on

had

this

his

that

chosen

against

smoking.

phenomenon
previous

his

heel

249

EVIDENCE

FLAGRANT

traceable

was

round

to

particular
the

contents

that

see

at

spot
of

all

which

the

safe,

was

to

pipe

fact

the

to

empty
he

was

XIV

CHAPTER

political
programme
adroit

An
The

In

"

Funchal

"

Madeira

Dutch

courage.

Isle

Irex

absolutelynothing

I found
the

myself

Old

of
The

"

of

sea

about

the

in

smoking-room
election

about
enthusiastically

the

Conservative

(they

Tories

not

have

joined

in the

the

by
'

I said

than

pledge

the

calmly :

'

to

cup,

not

go
until

my

no

to

one

have

dangerous, not

praise. However,

determined

So, when

I take

candidate

himself

of

paean

rest.

I shall

election.

support

almost

in

shall appear
*

go

one

appealed

was

poll,nor

programme/

to
boldened
em-

'

to

interest

the

and

candidate

it would

and

man),

only churlish, but

been

better

to

at

subjectof politics
;

talking vehemently

were

"

which

was

everyone

"

Reciter

Ship Hotel, Brighton, during

week, when

"

Hospitality at

"

matters

is the

night

one

Shipwrecks

"

Complete
at

eyes

peevish Judge

"

Wight

burial

"

in the multitude

PROMINENT
I know

trip to

case

company
the

her

Justice shuts

"

The

coastguard

"

by jury

"

"

fault

of

'

get-out

jury disagree

zealous

but

'

Trial

"

And

the

to,

present

shall

ever

willing to
what

may

HEREOF

that be, sir ?' asked

'Abolition
'

House

of

of

trial

by jury,

the

was

programme

roll

on,

It

had

to

serving on
the

evading

and

twenty-one

borough

"

Court
under

treasurer,

dentist
a

officer,nor

(40

office

from

the

not

was

or

nor

twelve

awed
'

Queen's

more

as

vinced
con-

personal

on

years

that

ago

No.

be

of

Justice.'

and

the

in

appear
I

of age

coroner,

nor

was

;
a

no

Her
over

was

not

duly registered

the

secured
on

the

Hereof

Division

immunity

me

juries.

I
at

not/

and

forget
the

what

Royal

pursuit of

final ominous

fail
"

Trinity House

possession or

serve

by

of

Sheriff's

nor

peer,

Brethren

in

was

Viet., c. xxxiii.,s. 30),nor

41

something

Bench

There

'to

obligationto

summons,

Court

and

founded

occupation which

duly
in the

pro-

And

one.

more

sixtyyears

and

of

one

short, I

any

Everyone agreed

was

gaoler's sub-officer, nor

in

was

the

as

specialjury.

summons

Majesty's High

monarch,

through the extremely unpleasant experience

go

of

the

of

There

excellent

about

was

the

I,

myself.

opinion of jurymen

experience.

abolition

room.

becoming

am

press,'said

acclaimed

an

of its soundness

My

the

Peers.7

was

earnestly.

agent

and

of

House

in
politician

that my

251

by
legislation

applause;

foundest

years

liberty of

the

supported by
storm

the Conservative

Commons

of

'

NOT

the

of

abolition

FAIL

was

cordingly
ac-

sentence

repairedto
"

of

Courts

the
of

252

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

Justiceat

the

preciselyon
of the

occupant

who, with
in

him,

glad

that

of all whom
what

though

to

the

met

him, for he

met

who

odd

his

Gradually

the

and

and

everyone

round

crowded

of

to

the

of the Crown.

There
take
to

be

it

empanelled.

retainer, who
the
The

of the

attended

to

him

his

day, brought
case

was

one

which

trust

obliged
tips of

the
him

the

how

particular

attend

to

court,

to

that

civil but obdurate.

was

back

entered, supported by

of

in

was

of

Presently my

the arrival

cilious,
superI

not

convince

business

Associate

the

is

Associate
to

his

places at

our

announced
ton

The

not

occasional

accordingly,nothing

was,

up

leave

judicial

was

fellow-compurgators

My

endeavoured

each

ideal of

specialjuryman's guinea.

the

exceptionallyinconvenient
case

that he
on

official

industrious.

not

filled.

court

reposed

my

He

be.

positionmerely

shillingfrom

usher,

only

the

was

should

busy though

up

the

quill pens.

all realized

at

gentleman is well paid,and

keep

only

ing,
sortcollecting,

of

pedantic,patronizing though

not

and
this

task

noon
fore-

The

of the confidence

in the

legal magnate

was

redistributingnumberless

and
was

I arrived

sense

engaged

was

in the

clock

specified.

day

when

court

obvious

an

of the

ten

quarter-past

for
the

to

us

do
and

court

friend

Judge, and

but

the

Lord

to

wait
usher

Silver-

faithful old white-haired

his

lordship throughout

medicine, and
had

been

part

so

forth.

heard,

so

NODDING

JUSTICE
the

for

killed

been

workmen

of

of

knowledge

eleven

mechanic

damages

for

one,

in

the

allowed
admit

the
even

which

the

himself
that

he

had

been

fall fast

junior counsel,

laughterwhich

as

and

greeted

the

of

process

or

three

beguiled
in the

his
to

his

up

asleep.

two

slumber

repeat,

lack

of

one

place
common-

Silverton

make

to

awake
sufficiently
to

fall from

from

for

company

his

on

of interest

quick perception had

his

heard

of

brought by

was

Lord

whether

about

at

those

simple and

very

effects of the
to

try

in

soon

box.

tramway

that

him

before
plaintiff

afternoon
the

"

enabled

from

so

luncheon

outset

merely

was

case

about

case

to

against a

much

so

from

return

had

we

limited

was

with

out

the

entered

we

injuriesreceived

The

cars.

called

was

which

action

young

their

name

my

which

case

use

nervous

immediately afterwards,

others, and

The

the

with

this

But

the

much

rigging of

counsel

navigation.

disposed of, and

mid-day,

vessel, the

had

of

one

and

company,

junior

was

who

husband,

hopelessly entangled by
of

It

shipping company

her

of

the

model

manceuvrings

loss

employed by

became

soon

sued

places.

alleged negligenceof

the

by

made

was

the

their

took

widow

for

damages

before

day

in which

case

of the

jury

253

own,

mind,
"

bound

am

joke

to

for

witnesses
him

he

had

of the
of

witticism

join deprecatinglyin
little

or

digestion

early part
mild

at

when

it

the

came

254

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

from

the

minutes

of

and
to

child

few

the usher

shock

little

where

hardly

case.

that

If you
will

given by

as

or

the

You

will be

rash

honeysuckle,
heads

golden
and

of

lisping
and
law-

British

it is

the

to

sum

whether

counter

the

of
that

off in

or

in

bound, in that
'

young

beg

your

barrister

this is the

case

Tramcar

Company.'

of

so

the

and

Well,

defendant.

the

guy-

unskilful

standing on
the
to

come

employed

'

and

anyone

pardon, my

plaintift

starboard

proximity to
to

to

stevedore, you

sudden

case,

Lucock

for the

for the

witnesses

credit

attach

you

witnesses

evidence

vious
pre-

jury,5he commenced,

of the

the

the

upon

up

should

he

that

of

and

sinecures

realityof

imperilthe safetyof

to

'

dreams

conclusion

slackened

manner

near

the

the

to

was

rope

from

begun

given by

believe

come

waking

stern

decide

to

evidence
to

or

And

came.

with

Gentlemen

it is for you

the

aforesaid

servant

lordship'sdiscredit

have
inadvertently

Associate

justiceis impartiallyadministered,
his

to

for the

time

with

the

only

was

the

appointments

the

marshalships,to
court,

of

ones

for

prayers

It

the white-haired

covered

clambering

old.

year

lordshipwhen

retreat

forth

Silverton

Lord

past

five

about

from

seconds, however,

consideringthe
rural

quarter

of

and

his

arouse

But

lordship.

till a

three

to

slept like
work

his

lips of

binnacle.

sion
the conclu-

lord,'exclaimed
in

the

'

case,

but

Trans-suburban

well/

retorted

his

256

RANDOM

obviously to

their interest
which

Company,

new

value

of the

April

\st

been

that if she

the

she

her

out

carry

buyers, nor

no

or
fifty,

dozen
When

of
the

applied
impetus

him

buy ^500

par, hold
six

did

they

company

to

the

only in

six

when

of

the

originalshares

had

in the
to

this

ference
pre-

and

then

be,

in

as

theory

practicallyto
shares

offered

at

There

ten,

found

twenty,
more,
further-

was,

frankness

were
.

premium, they

the

final

Scratchell, Bart., the

moter
pro-

defendant

for

about

the

in

permission
by making

company

event

i,

And

to

that he could
been

fullypaid

give

up.

fresh

issue of

accorded

show

of

suit, had

fresh

public,this permission was

the

have

in fact,all that remained

"

Parliament
his

mium
pre-

quoted.

the

to

would

although the

publicat

Humphrey

to

she

unable

was

the

and

at

of

April

velvet/

as,

Sir

"

for (if

appeared

worth

premium,

she

it

; so

it until

City, 'on

above

company

shares

to

misleading lack

words

after

ordinary shares

eighty,discount.

even

general public
the

the

and

subscribed

not

Railway

but

On

in the

fully paid up?

scheme,

duly offeredto

in shares

already a shareholder

publicat

right;

was

materiallyenhance

Central

at

in the

say

so

All

was

were

stock
sell it to

the

and

for

Wight

invest

shares

six per cent.

Pennycuic

Isle of

they

the

offeredto

subscribed

Miss

will

to

they alreadyhold.

all

next

of

her

stock

will be

any]

REMINISCENCES

to

that all the

As

only

about

,"5,000

Humphrey
hit

."240,000

worth

jury to

in the prospectus

the

to

fraudulent
Mr.

Q.C.,

with
plaintiff

great

method

the

with

whole

even

directors
went

was

contractor

me

as

being

than

at

impressionthat

succeeded

almost

times
a

board

railway

of

of honour.

court

slightdelay of twenty

The

minutes

JusticeManikin, slightly
overratinghis
of

the

on

smoothly and straightforwardly

enough.

page

the

Findlater, Q.C. (for the

Mr.

to

quietly-

the

Mr.

to

fact, his hobnobbing

in

one

Mr.

over

for

case

was

the

shares

the

amounted

the

convincing

endeavoured
agility,

in

not

not.

struck

speciesof

was

handed

been

payment,

who, however,
defendant),
the

had

conducted

jury

more

conveying

'

skill ;

indignantdignityof
in

suppression

shares, and

bill in

suppressionor

Wince,

the

whether

in such

contractor

Practically,

great majority of

the

in

contractor

side, the question for

fullypaid up

'

his

about

over

,"10,000.

was

of his

that
as

he

of the fact that the

receiving
payment
described

nonplussed,until

to

one

upon

Sir

handing

shares

points on

decide

cash, and

of

bill for about

puttingminor
the

idea

of

applied for,

been

moment

happy

of

payment

for

was

the

on

had

worth

257

JUDGE

PUZZLED

find

ledger which

or

marked

was

case

There
when

so,

mental

passage

handed

to

him

on

by

Wince.
Who

is this Mr.

Jones ?'asked

his

looklordship,
17

258

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

ing over

the

top of his double

nothing about
*

Your

Mr.

him

the

right-hand

page,'said

the wrong

lordship would

If your

I have

'

notes.'

in my

lordshipis looking at

Wince.

at

eye-glasses.

instead

page

look

kindly

of

the

left-hand

at

the

left-hand

'

page
'But

?' said his

page

should

why

look

not

seriously

look

lordship,beginning to

suspicious.
Because,

'

there

nothing

if

But

'

this

engaging

an

there's

getting rather annoyed,

'

smile.

Judge, puzzled, and

the

why

this

concerning
I

am

given this ledger

all r
I

which
but

page,
said

this

in

better

the first page,

at

commence

imposed

Manikin

was

down),

Mr.

upon.

engaged
contained

matter
means

'

it immaterial

ledger entirelythrough,'snapped

being

right-hand

apologetically.

thoroughly displeased,and

no

the

pencilon

lordshipthinks

if your
Wince

Mr.
I had

'

I marked

the

lordshipto glance at

for your

anxious

was

passage

by

particularcase,' said

here

nothing

particularcase,' repeated

at

great deference, there's

concerning

with

Wince,

Mr.

lord, with

my

sure

Wince

he

had
took

convinced
whilst

And
in

trying

in the

to

and

his

read

lordship,

that
Mr.

he

was

Justice

decipher

ledger (which
this time

not

by

the

opportunityto

got

material
imam

upside
confide

259

DISAGREEMENT

to

us

number

the

before

case

Findlater

Mr.

his

in vain

turn

financial

Mr.

to

exert

pages,

Wince.

summing

it

up,

people, and

both

of

the

who

jury

defendant.

custody of

and

twelve

that

chairs.

majority,but
too

with
An

this

sensible.

which

that
had

points

of

appreciatethe
world-wide

certain

were

the

for

the verdict

four

"

from

that is

to

us,

which

to

reputation

and
the
of

which
for

saw

being
in

were

the

eightfor

say,

And
the

I discussed

assortment

extent

of the

negativedas
we

table

suggested

present

that

out

the

ground
largeunder-

'

return

laid before

contemplatesany

his

illconcealing

four for the defendant.

view

most

and

tiles,containing a

to

time, when

been

Judge's

find

to

into

old hand

It turned

and
plaintiff

before

find there

proposalwas

proportionof eightto
the

all agree

should

we

the

be

to

me

locked

usher, and
walled

room

check

despatched in
accordingly

were

the

the

surpriseto

inclined

were

We

of

Humphrey

to

to
surprise,

the

on

authorityand

Sir

to

appeared

their amused

shown

as

believe, a

least

not

counsel, who

was,

which

to

lordship,who

his

conclusion

the

At

cerned
con-

engrossed in

Jones,
his

wise

no

regard

to

much

too

of

in

with

appealed

far

was

career

left-hand
Mr.

which

and

us,

Sir

disparaging to

statements

Scratchell, but

Humphrey

in

of

never

evidence

the

peculiar

typicaljuryman
fact, did

England

honesty

and
17"2

I
owes

at

all
her

fairness,

260

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

with

tempered
judiciously

practiceof

and
The

first

man

that

the

bona-fidesof

harangue,
whole

'

'

case,

in this here
other

prospectuses

in which

his

in any

allowed

been

assertions
light the illegitimate

Scratchell.
here

'

All

is

prospectus
in the

his

as

arms

repeated
being

all

that

the

an

of

gave

his

remarks

than

more

certain
there

an

once

of

amount

appears

think

quite a

the

audience

to

me

that,

pleasure
of

be
of

eleven

next

the
he
far

this
spectuses
pro-

folded
as

he

neighbour

at

all events,

of
He

education.

classical

gloss by stating
there

whereas

thus

colder

polished manner,

more

no

had

half
And

His

suppressio veri
to

rays

'

finished, or,

more

these

Humphrey

discussion, so

end.

any

persisted, if

fraudulent/

this, only in

man

is,'he

say

as

rosy

in

Sir

fraudulent, then

at

was

of

commenced,
satisfactorily

more

to

sign

can

City are

concerned,

was

in

contained

contemplate

bask,

to

bad

the

therein

statements

own

the

of

consideration, he

dimming

way

long

explain that, as

under

be

statements

quite as
to

not

were

of

absurdum

made

were

I tried

one.'

might, without

have

which

prospectus

many

ad

by jury.

should

end

the

at

tenance
main-

indignant

prospectus

he,

myself

trial

almost

was

final reductio

the

to

of

system

the

said

Why,'

as

her

approached

impugned.

shrewdness,

may

be

in this prospectus,
And

falsi?
expositio

gliblytalking Latin

fellow-citizens

was

far

PATRIOTIC

reward

greater
received

for his

win

to

over

He

rather

and

his eyes.

all I could

him, and
old

poor

he

it, by

got

Johnnie!'
hearted

It

somewhat
fourth

case

was

are

we

say

"

should

"

of

"

gave

the

this

position.

defendant's

type

"

Scratchell's

taint

as

the

"

the

attention

that

Sir

Humphrey

home

in his

own

country.

or

Switzerland

who

I may

stigma

"

but

passes
He
or

of

I don't

"

your

us

position

evidence, gentlemen
matter

of

the

appealing to

evidence

Homburg

than

gentleman

Humphrey

if you

to

habit

stamp

it in

"

light-

British

and

old

this

respectableratepayers,

of

of Sir

of the

and

"

the

the

of

the

'

said, addressing all of

he

in the

had

off

other

any

familiar

We

it in

of

smart

take

to

more

one

grave

holidays at
go

Devilish

Gentlemen,'

we

Baronet

fraud

stuff devilish bad

final supporter

sentiments
that

so

Mars

far

of

tone

with

had

'

that

was

with

case

impossibleto persuade

was

and

juryman.

higher

of him

the

the

of

flippantlycynical view

The

in the

facts

out

get

gad

of

son

the

wanted

Johnnie

loose, blue

smart,

only laughed languidlywhen

discuss

to

fair,bronzed,

hat tipped
brightly-shining

very

He

endeavoured

know

in

man,

of

the rest, with

"

I tried

specimen

from

face

expression of

afterwards

whom

next

standing aloof

was

military-lookingyoung

over

The

entirelydifferent

an

amused

great-coat,

guinea he

the

services.

was

juryman.

than

him

to

261

JUROR

we

his

doesn't

France,

262

spending his

that

water

make

We

agree.
Mr.

to

and

her

recover

Each

costs.

of

assistingat

wrote

James

to

refer),which

fraud/
failed

to

obstinacy by

our

Miss

had

and

cold

throw

to

to

Pennycuic
her

pay

received

own

guinea

for

miscarriageof justice.

Gazette

little

Speaker, and

(to which

I have

together brought

I lived

When
friend

of

news

who

let

for

more,

another
been

for the

permitted
another

in

me

had

neighbourhood

other
the

the

on

St.

she's

the

more

the

drove

off

stone

Damant,

the

to

Needles.

'

Point

likelyto
south
a

point of

big
the

reached

'

vessel.'

island,and

brother,
we

and

better

said.

was

our

for
had
me

me

in

one

"

Point

we'd

one,' he
be

younger
When

I expect

for

told

and

wrecks

two

of St. Catherine's

Needles.

my

he

called

dogcart,

tidingsof

Catherine's

when

day

some

in

I asked

Lloyd's agent

Accordingly,he

shipwreck.

just received

Wight,

was

know

me

February morning

one

Isle of

in the

Damant,

Harry

island, to

the

the

for

our

encourage

guineas.

seven

he

venture

guiltyof

old

personally made

St.

long,the jury

jurymen

article for the

an

to
not

poor

^500,

us

sad

Indeed,

less

reprimanded

were

JusticeManikin,

failed

and

course,

long story

duty

our

by findingthem

them

upon

To

it is

this

aristocracyin

And

foreigners.

on

money

maintain

to

to

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the
to

go

I think
So

we

Ather-

despatched
destination

264

RANDOM

brand-new,
the

Seven
the

the

had

of which

use

But

saved

had

been

shake

one's

belief

life

sea

at

first

with

wives

within

the

home

the

the

or

under

made

but

one

"

the

save

boy

sang

tradition,there should
But,
crowd

as

matter

freezingin

would

run

vessel,

Then,

Who'll

rush

rigging,his

to

risk.
broken

the
ten

were

ashore
and

go

According

used
the

which

safely
'

out.

been

of

top

wretches

to

all

of volunteers.

fact, although there

of

the

the

leg.

assembled, mostly men

perils,nobody
left

have

tug

successfullyused

got

broken

of

kerchiefs
hand-

by

rigging of

were

In

difficulties,
was

half-frozen

all

?' someone

their

disabled

between

in the

"

and

lad with

at

hearts

towed

been

taut

"

of

riding over

rescuing anyone.

had

rocket

desperately clinging

to

saving

and

was

"

colloquy

soused

dozen

the

waving

the

mainmast

before.

calculated

"

of

arms

of

again without

hawser

cliff and

shore

distant

the

day

gliblyrecited

instead

"

sweethearts

short

again, when
and

lifeboat-

and

the

rapturouslyapplauded.

so

hailing distance

and, after
towed

and

propelled by brawny

on

to

about

poems

proudly

so

place,the

the billows

oak,

are

in

after-deck.

the

I learnt

so

the

readings,and

penny

the

which

bows

apparatus

very

burlesqued

deal occurred"
in

her

over

the

by

good

lay,her

lost,including the captain's

;

been

been

She

trip.

breaking

sea

lives had

rest

first

her

on

air,with

REMINISCENCES

the
The

was

sea

large

and

boy

its
was

leg dangling,

until

shifted.

have

to

drowned,
cards

scattered
I

water.

which

were

bunk,

and

of

found

making

Pretoria

of

and

baby,

We

the

end

of his

the

cover

which

teak

told

talked
he

me

been
to

my

appeared

in

at

in the

awoke

friend's

found
that

him
my

the voyage

on

New

was

second-

partly for

his

half-past eleven.

about
told

his

Natal, partly

to

he

me

cries for

cabin, from

which

strugglingwith

others

and

night by

new

Eve,

about
affectionately

going

out.

Year's
"

s.s.

rather

days.

business, and

servant

my

few

the

by

went

pleasant man

very

turned

and
It

deck

on

who

"

morning

rushed

hearts,

into

1886, I

placeon

pleasure,partly on

Next

half under
of

of

piece

for

took

dinner, with

health.

had

of

the

two

inlaid

December,

about

class passenger

for

on

them

out

incident

walking

wife

had

Madeira

to

gruesome

after

'

was

found

we

was

the

and

Baccarat

'

made

the end

was

six

boy

deck.

on

At

for

Going

poor

his game,

the

up

I have

The

to

up
were

down.

go

his cabin, which

about

card-box

had

last words

to

cards/

had

picked

The

bound

are

at

he

mid-day.

about

at

apprentices'diary,kept

We

game

but

Damant,

the wreck.

before

evening

sented
nigger, con-

him.

the

of

one

265

SEA

ship'scook,

board, with

on

found

Cargo

AT

the

fetch

and

go

went

We
the

when

morning,
to

DEATH

the

acquaintance was

help,had
they

ceeded,
pro-

steward.
a

dipso-

266

RANDOM

and

maniac,
bottle

cellar,and

unfortunate

on

with

the

and

when

he
his

commit

the

into the

from

the

and

saloon

cheer

the

preparatory

the

to

of hundred
and

in

body

the

words,

deep,

'

tipped

Jack

the

grislyload

officer

taking his

us

as

was

best

from

plunged

ping

ping

resumed
to

smoke

might.

we

into

and

"

off

eating

watch.

up,

'

screw

hurried

service,

turned

was

of

white

therefore

We

plank

afterwards

hurried

young

the

covered

the

be

to

sea.

with

plank,and

skipper read

the

was

hammock,

upon

the

to

blue-jacketsin

up

to

troops

added
The

all

of

in the

buried

scene.

The

ourselves

second

be

to

bridge, the

most

the

couple

Immediately

revolutions, and
chat

the

Union

sea.

sounded

remains

pronounced

corruption,'
etc.,
beneath

that

was

paraded,

to

Santo, the

was

flag.

morning.

of what

feet,borne

body

the

quite sure

stitched

British

had

had

We

about
be

his

tolled.

six bare-footed

was

the

at

bell

after

upon

he

in

two

of delirium

attack

tied down

us

were

by

It

and

of

cabin, that

twelve, off Porto

of

picturesqueness

smuggle

to

incursion

about

to

to

his

an

been

at

were

who

brought up

on

discovered

man

board,

weights

had

none

happened

ducks.

an

down

place,and

There

made

quarter

forward,

take

into

died

engines slowed
came

brandy

he

After

about

contrived

brought

relapse,and

At

had

had

had

tremens.
a

of

he

in

turning

he

that

two

or

REMINISCENCES

'

its
and

In

the
meal

Anglican

HOSPITALITY

who

curate,

sherry,waxed

he, in

alma

mater

here

eloquent over
I

'

said

'

there

to

old

second

body

beef

should

given

the

father
a

soul

from

and

had

slung by
used

earnestness

had

if

from

gone

that /' exclaimed

for

It

was

list

by

simple

the

at

one

corners

bunk

the

the

my

peared
ap-

they

to

had

had

Royal Navy,
contriving,

own

ceiling,in

sleep.

pardonable pride.)
in which

was

night. (Old

one

of his

himself

to

invitations

1853.

in

from

name

my

when

Hintons
time

went

of the old friends

survived

in

with

way

the

residents

received

Madeira

nightlyto swing
with

full,and

when

made

only sleepin

me

fear

Madeira

had

mother

its four

for

was

very

The

all who

been

it

Funchal, and

at

annexe.

at

showed
the

pressive
im-

screw.'

visitors'

season

could

his

as

mid-air, the

that

pickles;

Hotel.

dinner
delightful

Hinton

Oxford

engines silent,as

and
extremely hospitable,

immediately

he

and

in the

rooms

spent

in

very

it wasn't

Oh,

just

impressive,'

service,the rugged

the

had

we

sky, the purple ocean,

seagullpoised

foul the

Clara

in

and

blue

presentlyarrived

the Santa

my

'

scene

glass of

his mouth
officer,in perfect simplicity,

cold

We

are

!'

us

full of

clear

to

with

betrayed

the
sea-captain,

amongst

267

anything more

saw

of the

tribute

pay

the

the

which

the

words
of the

never

tones

"

and

FUNCHAL

himself
stimulating-

was

witnessed.

AT

host

was

and

which

This

he

touched

hostess

268

continued

the

Stephen

born,' I had

was

quite

was

that,'said

'

and

dinner

with

plied me

such

to

They

about
the

police
I

However,
of

month), I

lurch

back

watch, fold

twice, and
The
and

rattled

ewer

the

even

myself,

'

is

pause
in the

chairs

and

evidentlyan

Madeira,

enhanced

by

and
my

no

abnormal

semblance

wind

to

up
'

my

bed.

to

left

the

basin

with

table

seemed

doubt

quote

dining/

been

from

repeat

effect

to

and

night,I awoke,

supernatural fandango.

strange

of

after

teetotaler

the

their

left

retire in order

distinctlyjerk

bedroom

my

of the

middle

'had

Clara,

Santa

clothes, and

my

right

to

performance.

each

to

oscillation,

join in

This,' said

peculiarto
the

abstinence

Madeira

of

almost

without

walk

to

the

to

in the

Suddenly,
saw

able

was

for

excellent

an

vintages

that

courts,

had

who

quite conscious,

was

strong

graves

me

gave

hear

friendly

same

friends

their

been

when

quite

that, when

had

hospitable quinta (I

your

to

sorry

the

old

rare

extent

an

with

seemed

of

numbers

century.

I'm

they inquiredwith

about

of

quarter

from

He

is

how

all events,

at

or,

Indeed,

'

my

died, I think, before

Oh, he

reply,

to

And

here

was

sleeping peacefully in

been

for

who

Hinton.

And

solicitude

wine

previously.

child.'

Mrs.

well/

and

asked.

they

left off with

had

they

Spring Rice,

father ?'

conversation

thirty-four
years

parents

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the

the
to

wines

phenomenon

is

of the last few

weeks.

could

think,
due

that

'

could

back

left

my

had

sir

that

the

man

night

earthquake,
to

the

cried

in

bowl

must

you

the

island

which

and

your
be

!'

had

I, in

all

room

It

been

all

kind

fellow-guests

out

to

sea

valuables.

to

mean

you

were

nursing

tents

night

visited

by
had

say

What

that

appeared

innocence,

fell

soon

when

and

do

optical

astounded

my

put

two,

wine,

into

extemporized

or

good

converted

of

brain,

was

dressing-bags,
one

stayed

you

brave

!'

Such

under

jewel-cases,

Oh,

hotel

surf-boats

together

their

the

the

morning,

breakfast,

camp.
hired

not

huddled

of

garden

concentration

as

to

go

the

to

on

complete

fashion,

In

sleep.

sound

to

the

this

in

of

two

or

such

produced

musing

annexe

find

of

have

glass

went

of

paralysis

extra

an

believed/

nervous

And,
into

to

mere

possibly

illusion/

have

never

drinking

to

269

COURAGE

DUTCH

during
a

violent

attributed

CHAPTER

Carlo

Monte

disputed

to

win

those

stake

French

"

PRACTICAL

with

"

Playing

"

monotonous

winds,

Monte

enjoy

Carlo, you
submit

to

the

fairy spirit of
yourself

public
pocket
stranger

^40)
of

the

system

in

only

"

empty,

you

vice

everyone

will

and

from

and

in

derous
mur-

coming
unbe-

most

being charged

where
as

borrow

happy

anyone

to

that

as

the

mille,

in
is

the
find
is

money

soon

from

To

merized,
mes-

immediately

say,

"

be

judgment

You

is to

philosopher's stone
different

bility
adapta-

willingto

be

must

is

fidence-man.'
'con-

brandy-and-soda.

(the ordinary unit being

where

way

French

sun,

will resent

place.

that

sure

garish Margate

twinkling paradise

property
is

your

only
A

deceptive

for

missionary's ransom

"

imagination or

he

croupier

the

The

naivete"

people,

shoddy

dishabille,and
a

Their

Carlo
sea,

"

"

memories

Sunny

place

system

no

in Monte

see

on

detectives"

with

the

degringoladeof

The

days

man

will

of

enchantment

giant in

"

The

"

XV

the
to

your

nearest
or

about

possession
say,

else's,by which

of

the

272

RANDOM

Dexter,

who

Asti, the

We

but

one

At

to

two

Tom

had

had

money

occasions

rare

staying

was

imagine

to

Dexter.

He

police authorities,with
issue.

He

whom

limbed, athletic,a

rebuilt.
'

opera
room,

exploitwith
ago,

In
'

set

"

those
that

Tom

night,and,
law, he

was

last led off

had
after

the

before

it

is

to

caused

ten

some

it consisted

heavy

doors

most

policewas
was

prison
of

in

officers

by numbers,
de

an

small

studded

disturbance

tiny commissaires

the

round-house

like

was

invalidingseveral

finallyovercome
by

local

say,

with

His

Carlo

Monte

to

for

fondness

low-water.

the

days

built of stone,

nails.

the

even

but, owing
good pigeon-shot,

tables,generallyin financial

years

Tom

without

occasionally
joined

generosity,carelessness, and

many

is

It

account.

extremely good-natured,tall,loose-

was

celebrated

hotel, and

everyone,

he

on

down

put

the

at

Carlo

Monte

popular with

was

happened
was

running, though tethered,

us

bill.

the

paid

meal

the

"

give

banquet, whoever

which

"

august

in and

and

purse

Isidore

more

look

the

of

any

Dexter, who

difficult

his

then, when

the end

produced

nobody
or

and

sometimes
for

Bohemian

too

party,

our

charming wife, and

him, he would

spare

felt richest

frequently of

was

now

little tone.

Satyr-faced little

more.

rather

were

hosts could

When

no

his

with

Notadore,

now

composer,

sometimes
not.

is

REMINISCENCES

with

late
of
and

policeto

at

the
at

this

INTERNATIONAL

AN

ridiculous

ill

Their

then

He

them.

upon

their

of

scruffs

of

Inspectorcalled
he

would

all

denied

by

his

truculent

official that

Dexter

as

key

'

guinely

'

these

give 'em

I'll know

done

and

us

up/

Peter

lesson.

it

terrified the

had

was

police

be

to

of

and

hat

prized

it,as

far

and, for all I know, the

Dexter

call upon

Monte

at

the

this

case

reason

Parley and

he exclaimed

only

of the fountain.

this time ?' I asked.

me

where

time/ he

with

thousand

why.'
'

Took

Jem

Carlo

British

little gendarmes !

rotten

the

that if

nothing came

Tom

saw

pretty clear

"

or

juststartingto

was

I've got

to

But

last time

him

night'sadventure,
so

concerned,

was

smiling Chief

prison doors

lies stillin the basin

The
he

The

slept the sleep

downstairs, leaving his

tore

workmen.

by

open

the

of

one

forgiven. Tom, however,

demeanour

he

him.

behind

be

knowledge

of the

tell them

key, or

found, all should

be

to

the

restore

into

key

told

and

in

doors

morning

him

upon

them

the massive

bed, and

to

the

In

Samson.

the

no

the other

seized

necks, threw

threw

fountains, strolled home

into the cell.

liberty,for

Tom

locked

companions,and

after their

unlocked, and

was

their

than

they inside

the

by

two

them

cost

manners

were

sooner

door

guardianspreceded him

Tom's

eight of

The

dungeon.

273

QUESTION

Consul.

said
I'm

san-

going

pounds damages,
*

What

off last

us

Finney

the air of

have

"

they

night

and

martyr.
18

"

locked
*

And

274

RANDOM

littlewretch

one

head
4

!'

'

know

you

rather

"

wasn't

There

didn't

they

the

if the

its

accord.

own

found

wait

to

Suddenly

said

I asked.
Tom.

brute
him

Er

'

Of

"

pulled out

oh

call his

to

have

may
to
am

admit

Carlo
One

He

freckled

hand.

'

wouldn't

he

bailee

show

avec

quietly?'

the

Had

friend

rather

the

had

injured
But

conscientiously

broken

how

was

ness
good-

to

alive if I had.
he

reptitiously
sur-

he

mutton

of

little
struck

you

was

got his ^1,000

followingwill

nuit

No, I'll swear

displayed two

never

devils

go

when

leg of

be

"

he

was

said
Fairly quietly,'

Tom

just pushed him,'

as

afraid

The

there

de

you

angry

was

didn't,'protested my

innocence.

of

light and

as

vol

Did

revolver.'

his

nursing a
pleased

yes

asked, noticing that

?' I

about

off.'

us

the

up

my

opened

little commissaire

something

course,

it

with

helped ourselves, naturally.

these

yes,

Paris, and

just tried

drink.

de

syphons, and,

we

walked

and
effraction,

Hotel

switched

and

us,

the

to

upstairs,

wanted

we

my

that's

room

fastened, and

We

on

the

"

bell,so

was

lot of

in and

came

door

whisky

some

nobody

lightin

answer

shoulder

club

at

inquired.

decisively;

late, and

any

?' I

doing

Tom
the

of

out

been

you

all,'said

came

we

say,

had

at

revolver

actuallypresented a

What

Nothing

REMINISCENCES

knuckles.

damages.
casuallya

Monte

:
regards his responsibilities

morning

found

Tom

Dexter

and

Jem

Finney waiting
said
friend
vain

milles
'

Alec

he

Alec

Who's

him

knows

asked

luck

take

to

should

and
Then

Jem

he

when
Peter

Jem said,

called

chap

want

to

before

chap

see

so

?'

went

on

^200

in

up

Have

then
Peter

he
and

Haven't

say,

case

his

sleep for

to

had

Winthrop
and

said

got any

you

and

it

'

(a

bit,

gone.

Look

"

here,

stuff?"

And

tell him

to
to

know

faintest

bed.

this

we

know

where

he's

of

But

raise

because

to

it over,

handed

home

went

Winthrop,

the

this

to

lose

to

want

went

Alec

up

slightly.D'you
*

Fitz

sentiment, but Mr. Winthrop

Winthrop,"

meet

we

think

at

brought.' Well,
this

dinner

Yes, I have, luckily. It belongs

And

course.

Jem

"

I don't

didn't

Parleycame

broke.

I'm

woke

don't

'

I believe.

But

of

arrival). Jem

new

look after it.'

to

inquired.

is,'Tom

was

here

five

'

He

Carlist

making

about

"

night at

was

care

change.

anti-Monte

most

he

whoever

Jem

he

their

said
night,'

last

Fitz.

I think

American,
1

old

bit

American,

an

first time

with

H elder

the

last

won

they

seen

were

see,

?' I

He's

had

servants

Jem

Winthrop

for the

him

old

asked

know,' said Jem.

met

had

Paris

de

they

You

arouse.

Winthrop

and

"

the
'

to

attempts

Tom,

until

leave

Parley,whom

Peter

H6tel

the

outside

couldn't

they

275

CAPITAL

FLOATING

we

^200
the

staying,

idea,' yawned

Jem

indifferently.
The

dtringolade

of

the

croupier nowadays
1

8"

is

276

RANDOM

melancholy

REMINISCENCES

marked.

and

mysterious being
ventured

if

souvenir, he
much

with

for him
the

of

it in

sent

will
the

come

on

me

guette ;' but

colour

smilingly

lady.

by

has

'

'

planked
To

17.

her

will

louis

louis
thirty-five

her

Mrs.

en

Despard

them

English woman
table

had

plein

before

to

on

firmly

lady

her

losing

her

favourite

pushed
on

square
forward

out,

the
the

collect

to

taper fingers could

the

side, and

Mrs.

with

by

opposite

the

scooped

stake.'
on

que

compass
en-

quietly-dressed
well-bred-looking,

exclaimed

law

Ce

roulette,

to

and

centre

her

sittingon

The

win,

been

back

came

stretched

pardon, madam,'
my

should
'

had

who

the

to

on

winnings, but

the

delight,the croupiercalled

great

os",

generously suggest.

Despard,

'

the

chance

commission.

Dix-sept,noir, impair et manque,'

board.

Should

remote

heavily at trente-et-quarante,
and

neighbour,

recommended

requests

Mrs.

day

if

he

plaira/he

One

be

his

not

madame

to

off,he will whisper, Je n'ai pas

tip

or

hints

neighbour

left

to-day the Knight

But

murmur

be

to

and

way

it used

I think

No

him

send

to

roundabout

most

and
officially,

except

the tobacconist's.

at

especiallyif

he

him

was

reproche.

sans

impelled

trepidation.

Rake

number

to

felt

winner

big

any

speak

to

et

he

youth

my

peur

sans

"

one

In

this

the

lot.'

side

'I

Despard,
nine

time

of

beg
'

piled up

your

that

points

the

of

was

the

in four

of

you

would

like

crimson

Mrs.

Despard

turned

with

sense

vague

hurried

and

Mrs.

of

the

being

introduced

My

stage.

the

at

had

She

table, and
her

that

number.

Oh,

Mrs.

try and

pray
The
the

Mrs.

But

the

old

she

untoward

7.

rather
that

Will

she
you

that

Lady

Such

it

way

of

(whom

Do

money.

lightof

made
in

might

the

appalling

an

the

realized

evening, at

Cromlech

ciently
apologize suffi-

Despard

only

vigilanteye

'

Here's

good-natured

when

by

made

!'

mishap.

for

now.

back

is.

on

wife

my

course,

can

Silvester.

Mrs.

forgiveme

an

but

how

Despard,

have

to

you

about

she

Here

was

you

of

of

though,

just

saw

the

apologize?'

to

?' cried
mistake

It

money

had

her

pardon,
had

you,

firmlybelieved,

allow

heart,

never

money

she

on

at

beg your

to

wildly,and
put

taken

gentleman

'I've

your

planking

been

'

be

pleasure of seeing

claimed

of the

end

sick

is Silvester.

name

who, by mistake,
was

the

had

would

But

rooms.

exclaimed

I've often

course,

mortification,and,

away,

vestiare.

well ?'

as

purse

blush

ner

he

Despard/

honour

the
the

into

with

no

quietly,

very

my

turned
guilt,

from

her

pursued

that

of

admission

an

take

to

with

gravely up,

remarked

and

excitement,

Perhaps

as

2?7

in front of her, looked

pyramids
sign

WITNESS

TIMELY

have

excellent

how

ordinarily
extra-

developed
Mr.

vester
Sil-

dinner-partygiven
she

only

knew

278

the

slightly)at
face

seated

had

who

the

from

rooms

walk

through

going

Inferno

had

she

the

old

Frisby.
the
to

'

Clara

after, as
machus

!
delightful

her

to

to

Russian

to

the

staying.

It

tried hard

to

golden range

Hotel
was

grasp

be

might
two

old

and

her

discovered

in

were

Monte

pilesof

!' exclaimed

Clara

caught sight of

Mrs.

Enid,

take

must

you
I

to

want

beriddled

much

talk

piece

of

round, and

turned

de

she
heir, aged three),

and

wonderful

her

professorwho
of

entered

decency, inquiring after Lysi-

of

divulgea

explained

louis

duty,just

what

see

daughter, she

matter

of

tired,and

I'm

(Mrs. Frisby's son

proceeded
been

she

;'and, handing

pasteboard

sense

dear

My

as

little.

only

collected, with

but
'

soon

How

for

card

dhote

of them.

lady,as

often

only

occasional

idea

no

call

and

Hardley-Dasent

Carlo),sittingbeaming,
in front

and

day she

one

daughter (whom
gold

Dante

hers, Lady

of

friends

the

But

on.

of

sort

7.

could

you

an

In fact, she

backed

what

pieces,with

chance.

even

an

had

little money,

very

in five-franc

played

she
not

was

had

She

gambler.

on

Frisby

herself

found

lady
aristocratic-looking

the

firmlybelieved

so

she

Metropole Hotel,

face with

to

Little Mrs.

to

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

and
sat

her
near

had

daughter by
them

1'Europe,

system

which

system

where

of voisins.

it,fired by the

the

at

they
Mrs.

table
were

Frisby

glitterfrom

of hills in front of her fortunate

the

friends.

280

RANDOM

the

to

good.

better

system
it ?

reflected

'

urged

the

and

years.

correctly. And
have

must

of

swing

at

I'll

it.

what

Hardley-Dasent
of fives

number
she

them,

had

been

their

razed

the

whether
have
or

insinuated

the

postage

into
himself

stamps.

and

ground

the

into
'

My

sixteen

pounds

of

the

to say,

her

range

piles

prying
to

see

gold piece might

not

the

copper

purse

department,

cleaving company

dearest

Frisby,
your

golden
lady was

each

;'

looking,each

were

that is

gaping

tellingme

won

"

They

Their

crannies

thank
I've

they

older.

little Mrs.

for

certain

black

Dasent,' cried
you

Lady

had

venturesome

rollicked

dear

friends.

her

and

some

of the

idea

after

so

up

disappeared, and

corners

do

quite

pounds,

ask

to

it

turned

out

the

and

go

seventeen

of

rough

on

up

twenty-fiveshave

years
to

for

hold

some

you're

eyes,

twenty

of louis had
into

and

sought

under

just

turn

ever

sixteen

all events,

professor's

sound,
scientifically

got

won

this ?'

how's

least,not

have

can't

yet I've

got,

But

'

twenty-fivecan
at

play

jeu, messieurs,

Russian

is

roots

"

million

of

If this

'

isn't this

everyone

votre

croupier.

cylinder
particular

this

dabs

Faites

'

cube

five and

doesn't

Why

Frisby.

cubes

nothing but

and

if

Mrs.

theory of

!'
absolutely supernatural

is

known

Because

mesdames,'

This

'

delighted little lady. 'Why

the

thought

REMINISCENCES

Lady
'

I've

wonderful

Fancy,

sixteen

of

Hardleycome

system

to

pounds!

INFALLIBLE

AN

Me

Quite

what

do

have

come

of

making

the

minutes.

8,000

If

welcome

it.

with

know

what

This

system

ladyship, Tin

is

with

and

of the

and

the

"

is

either

far

as

I'm

daily,only

in

once

it

"

up

your

and

who

your

moment

stand
is

near

and

you

Pole

zero,

fessor
protheir

or

believe

to

the

to

be

followed

be

needs

who

is

of

luck.

drop

your

purse

little

very

It is best

do.

run

4, 33,

!'

It

someone

enjoying

round

Russian

cannot

way.

capital three-halfpencewill

roots.

all follow

North

which

practicallyinfallible,but

don't

cube

"

the

concerned

system

one

start

numbers

other

can

the

to

and

the

and

system

it,

please !

the

to

you're

they'vebeen jumping

as

administration

go

place as

table

twenty

system,

with

cubes

and

I've

last

the

elope

about

not

nonsense.

the

simply backing

the

and

talking

love

mean

you

end

There

her

it, anything you

28, 3, 36, 4, 31

other

wouldn't

in

last that won,

one

example

Go

they ?'

money,

francs

you're in

to

syndicate

for

mood

hear

to

get

for

Carlo, just for

Monte

at

square

repeating

on

go

me,

times, because, I

of

people would

or

years,

settle

nearly

the

really

and

the

in

quite

number

the

and

root

tell

do

But,

square

Clara,' snapped

dear

from

can't

come

sake

about

the

million

of it and

lost

when

certain

they

seventeen

'My

fortune /

up

suppose,

the

do

you

little

281

SYSTEM

to

take

playing high
You
"

open

choose
"

with

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

in it

enough

jingle,
or,

to

the

reaching
mention

misfortune

who

and

with

with

around

sweep

luck

ordinary

of

coins

two,

mediately
imand

brooms

should

get

or

seven

hundred-franc

eightlouis,and possiblya gold

or

You

neighbourhood,

your

you

its

official,who

an

assistants

summons

squeegees,

to

insure

to

resonantly.

rapidly and

floor

your

all events,

at

well

picturesqueas

piece

commercial

as

interest.
About

ten

in which
Chef

tell him

foot

when

with

accosted

been

or

Leon

eight-and-

came

de

viens

Je

and

up

la part

described

recognisedme
old

an

friend.

L"on, and
I

two.

was

of the

de

introduced

He

saw

good

amused
real

Supposing

own

at

you,

monsieur,

and
were

to

one

himself

deal of him

the

French

adroitness

me

easilyas though

as

for

extraordinary
sieur
Mon-

detective.

delighted in talking of

extollinghis
1

no

Nord

du

Gare

of about

Superintendenthad

Chief

ingenuousness

in

I had

Orion/

Monsieur

day

Brookfield

of his agents, who

as

the

platform of

to

wrote

me.

Monsieur

I had

him, and

see

then

was

me.

close-cropped beard,

Monsieur

The

to

Frenchman

diminutive

twenty,

'

the

on

help

hand

on

who

Orion,

Paris, could
over

business

some

Monsieur

coming

was

set

sooner

in

Surete

I had

ago

thought

de

years

his

exploitsand

acumen.

instructed

to

keep

NAIVETfi

FRENCH

individual

an

you

behind

not

that

me,

Believe

method.

other

duty

of

Alas

one

!" you

would

in

She

What

I hired

spied

knelt

"

harass,
landau

open
and

kept
follow

her,

of

front

her
her.

and

brougham

my

her

mere

little window

the

through

of

are

an

in

of

seat

"

back

crafty to
drove

lady

to

coupe

too

the

on

her

upon

far

was

do, then ?

did

monsieur

But

sight.

driving in

upon

whom

choose

to

the

not

upon

we

He

say

is

the

And

"

devolved

profession

was

eight springs.

that

watch

keeping

my

walk

"

sight.

there

me,

trail

of your

day

cannot

help.

to

with

in

We

martinets.

whom

to

out

beautiful, refined, elegant!

neck

said

his

on

monsieur,

me,

the

Now,

the delicate

me

let him

never

escape

yourself.

follow

probably

him,

shall

observation,' he

under

would

'

283

the

at

back/
another

On
a

crowd

the

on

in

'

roof of

house

Supposing

set

you

See

here

individual

Thus,

work

It

nonplussed.

The
who

watching

were

perilouswork

desire

to

detect
?

to

you

for

go

is

upon

me

wager

into that

thief, how
would

you

is, notwithstanding,very
crowd

all honest

passed

we

as

me,

and

to

rather

some

were

monsieur,

crowd,
would

to

who

boulevard

plumber engaged
the

he said

occasion

is collected

working
folk

will

on

the

have

tiles
"

their

simple.
that

observe

to

isn't it
faces

be

so

turned

284

upwards
he

If he

not

study his

to

devil, what

The

fate

of

his

to

him.

accosted

at

beg

the

South

that

when

Caf6

in

contrary,

that, furtively.
of

matter

him

of that
in

was

by

tongue

the

! it is

type.'

Paris, I

Paix, when

la

differe
in-

is
Ah

pockets.

de

French

the

interests

scoundrels

will

or

was

was

well-dressed

table.

next

he

Paris.

Can

tell

you

ale

such

said, but I
*

where

me

as

I
in

get

we

am

can

the

?'
him

I told
then

went

went

on

to

rather

flattered

occurred

strong

to

me

in

show
at

his

him

the

that the

familylikeness

tale he
to

one

ness
frank-

but
was

as

name

was

presently he
to

that

sights.

homage,

him.

vineyards,that

infinitely
obligingif

me

and

his

Paris, and

unattached

and

of

owner

an

to

that

me

that, if I chanced

suggest

esteem

round

was

direct

not

great apparent

told

He

first visit

himself, alone
would

talk with

that he

his

was

could

sorry

to

on

Bermont,

this

was

himself.

about

All

good draught

procure

him

is

pardon, monsieur/

your

stranger

De

the

in

stranger

He

fellow-creature

fall

vertigo,poor

thief,on
and

the

sittingoutside

by

way

occasion

another

On

this

pleasure to pinch

true

seized

the

But

will he

"

of his fellow-citizens'

appearance

'

be

to

were

fate !

movements

looking downwards

is

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

gay

be, like

city,he

I would
At

he

take

first I
went

tellingme

frequentlytold

was

on

it

bore
in the

'

taken

by

on

forth

it

"

that

by

month, and
the

Siemens

mainly

paid

been

did

not

^200

in loose

too

et

He
to

be

surtout

"

business,

found

English

carrying

was

on

foreigners
the

de

Monsieur

watered.

good

the

commission

understand

sovereigns.

obviously
seemed

that

therefore

and

system,

mouth

story

obtained

was

having recently

francs

5,000

nowadays

even

cheque

of

matter

I had

order

an

I obtained

partlyon

Paris

pleasure,bound,

on

francs

400

me

employed

was

la sonnerie

in

was

so

invite

interested

was

pour

"

telling

accordingly

all orders

on

in which

'; that
l'6clairage
but

him

paid

commission

system

Systeme

firm, who

London

should

I told

me.

being

was

After

he

that

electrician, that

an

was

that

from

as

prospects, and

his income,

"

Piccadilly

lumberer.'

'

unnatural

not

was

avowal

similar

French

himself

all about

me

that

fact, I realized

In

'boys.'

the

of

confraternityknown

confidential

that

by

285

neighbourhood

the

in

vulgar tongue
Circus

STRANGER

HOSPITABLE

gave

true,

as

my

Bermont's

gulp.

My

indeed

it

was.
'

Will

wine

of

in
glitter
4

permit

me

to

Champagne?'

he

you

offer you

inquired,with

'

une

hungry

his eye.

I replied.
Very willingly,'

order

bottle of the

bouteille de

foreigneris obliged to

"

G.

H."

confine

he

And

proceeded

(The
his

to

unfortunate

designation of

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

'

G.

H.

even

attempt

how

he would

I knew

that

initials,as
but

none

approach

the

know

curious

was

be

to

the

question of cards,

presentlyhave

monsieur

Englishman

an

pronounce.)

to

would

Does

these

to

word

obviously a

'

'

Mumm

to

is
can

see

which

posed.

South

of

?' he

France

presentlyinquired.
little,'I

'A

Toulon
*

Monte
'

Marseille

know

and

Grasse.'

and

Then

'I

replied.

Carlo

Merely

?' he

asked

been

far

so

as

eagerly.

the

admire

to

has

monsieur

perhaps

and

bay

the situation

of the

town,' I answered.
*

Then

rather

monsieur

does

not

play ?' he asked,

for

care

anxiously.

'Not

at

public tables,' I

in

playing

emotion

mania

My

is

what

for

is

said.

'There

a
practically

is

no

machine.

private gambling

between

"

friends.'
Monsieur

de

Bermont

positively yelled

with

delight.
1

Then,

monsieur, allow

exclaimed, pouring
had

meantime

honour

to
one

good

fellows

game

or

at

the

brought.

dine

have

out

with

me

to

fill your

wine

which

me

'

You

must

to-night,chez

glass!'he
the
do

waiter
me

the

Brtbant.

two

fellow-countrymen,
vine-growers,

like

myself, who,

cards.

We

will make

like
a

monsieur, enjoy
party

of

poker

!'

CHAPTER

America

The

extraordinary

"

adventures
of

of

to

it

cure

FEW

pleasure

St.

see

the

in

earlier,

plunged
of

depths
belonged
tastes

were

at

low

to

sea

and

"

March'

"

read,

the

was

all

in

of

commercial-traveller

to

eat

each

rose

to

luxurious
On

perfunctory
and

way,

dismal

one

entertainment,
into

the

in

anything,

the

passengers

class,

considered

as

time,

performers

Most

spirits.

possible

saloon,

the

but

"

board.

on

inevitable

the

accordingly
it is

the

in

were

barber

the

in

English

There

skilful

four

describing,
it.

to

took

there
out

worth

according

service

went

made

sunrise.

August

staying

not

have

purser

there

which

But

stout

of

evening

cageful

Bordighera

"

of

ship

is

nowadays

and

sort

some

the

voyage

gorgeous

it

got

'Funeral

returning

bathrooms

Consumption,

Forest"Chopin's

York,

The

Sunday

still

New

hour

an

has

to

trip

people

day

down

beginning

Paul.

most

breaks
who

one

in

ago

and

drive
"

the

years

days,

by

The

notices.

obituary

My

novel

"

"

Black

The

Pleurisy"

natives

the

"

gaol

"

health

My

"

of

hospitality
In

night

malefactors

how

XVI

the

and

their

catering.
'

'

even

rare

HOSPITALITY

AMERICAN

mutton.

My

breakfast

in

with

would

and

the

equivalentto
I made

into which

it

placed by

was

conversation

that
ocean'; (ii.)

which, he told

made)

was

he

When

in

kindness

and

the

and

very

mild

of

was

at

no

by

clusion.
con-

its

mercial
com-

reserve

for business

hours.

overwhelmed

was

of
cordiality

an

everyone

I contrasted

met

it with

the
'

visitors when

by

that
(iii.)

perhaps,to

York, I

as

ready-

You-must-come-and-lunch-some-daysort

which
hospitality

temporary

'; and

nation

charms

New

mentally blushed
*

of

(for

on

kindly Light/

apt,

are

had

arrive

one

elegant

six dollars

boots

sulting
con-

of

an

he

that I could

and

manners

who

course

was

boots

given

unjustto judge

I arrived

by

of

to

conjunctions

said in the

Lead,

travellers,who

English

an

epithet. I found, on

had

So

eleganthymn.'

their best

he

elderlyYankee

an

elegantpair of

hymn,

It is very

day

and
elegant,'

'

the Atlantic

pair

me,
'

an

Newman's
'

the

that
(i.)

discover

to

the various

of

note

list,that he had

my

his

of which

stones

word

American

to
evidentlypartial

was

to

the butter-dish.

desperateattempt

this end

the

used

begin

to

wont

greengages,

consign to

I made

neighbour, who

next-door

pyjamas, was

lobster

289

amount

are

apt

to

this side.

they come

member

certain

we

of three
of

extend
I

clubs, and

scheming

that

was

it

to

our

made
was

only

I contrived
19

290

RANDOM

have

to

REMINISCENCES

meal

one

at

during

expense

own

my

my

visit.
I did
But, talkingof hospitality,
four

during my
in

that

way

Amongst
Mr.

'

Bob

'

detective
I

'

that

agreeable
after

soon

Chinese

married

be

would

she

did

visited

have

for

work

than

an

we

portion of

saw

front

of

the

Then

we

went

Jews,

were

of colour.'
which
of

this

not

and

to

we

initials do

not

tremely
ex-

hotel

my

took

He

the
with

compare

little

point

called

theatre, where

played

but

in

stage.

all the audience

Steve
Steve

that

the

on

they
'

We

her.

with

was

signifythat

religiouscommunity,

wouldn't.

melodrama

on

me

Chinaman

who

Chinese

where

told

of these

Irishman

appeared

men

husband

native

another

Then

me

visited

to

music-hall, where

at

We

orchestra, which
to

show

'

to

me

One

nice

joss-house and

the

of

Irish wives.

discuss

not

famous

to

Francisco, is nevertheless

in San

to

the

O'Donoghue.

rather

would

who
I

Town

interesting.Most

very
to

Mr.

for

which, though

quarter,

one

tall, well-dressed,

called

in

men

entertaining round.

China

the

his

man

dinner,

most

me

of

evening.

had

extremely polite when

was

one

relished.

partner

me

upon

have

not

introduction
a

who

detailed

called,and

around

of

Pinkerton,

agency,

it forced

might

some

letters

my

have

nights'stay

occasion

one

on

he

all

were

'

men

Brodie, B.J.,'
is
once

member

jumped

off

bridge-jumperof
drinkingsaloon
introduced
and
in

and

Brooklyn Bridge

'

'

morning

nearing

'

Just

think

I don't

'

soft

I
'

drink, then

want

(by

Vichy
asked
*

into

This

water.

O'Donoghue.

Ten

cents

friend.

my

How

five-cent drink.'

After
fetch

disappeared to
looked
a

to

over

word,' he

'Aren't

up.

asked
for

these

people.'

five- cent

I'm

'

feet

long.

Not

gray
a

word

The

waiter.

?'

queried

cents

for

the

waiter

you

manager

to

repeated

helmet

the

tight. We'll

going

this time

have
came

drink
ten

pay

say

?' he
cents

companion

my

disappeared, and

with
and

?'

much

Don't

'

waiter

of

O'Donoghue

for your

pay

not

the

doggedly. Again
policeman with

to

drink/

presentlyreturned,

Sit

bottle

wrangle

an

he led

and

out

manager.

well
fare-

meant

ten

pay

chuckled.

going

you

brusquely.
a

the

murmured.

fun with

some

to

How

'

that

brief

and

me

friend

make

going

not

is

cents,' said

d'you

I'm

'

Ten

'

when

more/ said I.

which

brought.

was

have

called for

and

restaurant

'

and

bound

any

my

was

o'clock

two

should

we

Broadway,

on

unintoxicating
drink),urged
the way

Towards

was

Bowery boys

'

homeward

were

O'Donoghue suggested that

glass.

there

and

and

types.

we

champion

presides over

Bowery,

hotel, which

my

He

toughs

'

of various

sports

the

the

sundry

to

himself

deems

world.

the
on

291

DETECTIVE

OBSTINATE

AN

we'll have

stalwart
club

Irish

about

some

19"2

fun/

two

my

292

RANDOM

detective

in

again enjoined

Hadn't

'

REMINISCENCES

better

we

simply

excited

an

the

pay

suggested pusillanimously. No,

whisper.

don't

'

you

escorted

Police-station

exhibit

will

friend

detective," and

will

"

on

psychological
his

back

throw

now

they

were

inspector

the

is

'

badge, and exclaim,

some

the

before

thought,

we

Thirty-third Street

to

brought
I

My

moment.

the

and

'This/

duty.

Presently

constable

the

by

word/

say

no

he

!' said

'

no,

?'

cents

ten

coat,

O'Donoghue

am

all be

with

covered

confusion/
*

What's

'Two
the

the

charge ?'
wouldn't

men

squalid.
neither

to

And
ten

pay

by

to

'

pistol pocket) to

Immediately
over

my

both

head.

They
replied.

And

the

Is

wrists
he

searched

my

they confiscated

he

and

willing

get

pocket

at

me

then

the

'

American

purse

?'

or

safe.

was

inquired

it

back

seized, and

were

the

pockets. 'Yes/
a

fortably
com-

checked

Just

an

for

pay

head.

my

armed

I had

O'Donoghue

But

and

whether

see

my
'

hotel.

is called

(what

trousers

my

of

lingly
appal-

to

to

cents,

feel in the

to

me

refused

nor

speak,

to

shake

vigorous

clean

my

sounded

interrupt,for

to

hundred

or

to

drinks/ replied

perfectlyready

was

about

was

occurred
of

cents,

home
saw

about

was

inspector.

issue

point at

ordered, consumed,

drink.

the

for their

pay

The

policeman.

asked

held

spector.
in-

they

largishpocket-knife

LODGING

that

carried.

inspector.
subject/
St.

replied.

elderlyman
from

the

discomfiture

could

hurled
clear

the

be

his

me

American

He

whitewashed

gas-jetsin

wire

cells,and

to

When

reached

we

janitorgave
in, and

me

He

he

in the

eight

feet

plank

bed.

The

similar

here

?' I asked

d'you

think

grimly, and

you

'

Have

the

of

down

iron

gate

of

er

"

on.

Mr.

with

flung
clank.

tive
detec-

room

was

by

up

unpleasant

was

fur ?' he
heard

stop

to

got

feebly.

PresentlyI

of

faithful

my

it taken

cross-bars.

My

have

the

row

lodge my

to

means

was

iron

too

flaring

collar which

my

brought here

'

taken

side

of carbolic
"

had

in

occasional

gaoler,rather

were

passed

O'Donoghue.

to

by five, half

reassuring.

was

called

compartment.

smell

suddenly

speech

apartment,

the

next

but

is

one

vacant

hitch

fun I

no

judgment by

were

door

slammed

about

of

proceeded by
friend

On

cell

adroit

an

what

lightedby

globes.

each

of

powers

was

passage,

his

of

hospitable guide

'full.' We

language

revelation

no

the truth

And

step firm, my

cocktails.

led
'janitor,'

enemy,

although

temporarilyparalyzed his
many

the

the

middle-sized

Still

of

reason

itself upon
and

And

hat, called

straw

the

merchant,

Edwards,

office.
inspector's

identity,no
What

Arthur

'

O'Donoghue.

in

?' asked

name

your

Bailey, journalist,British

Charles

293

NIGHT

THE

What's

'

Louis,' said

us

FOR

'

What

retorted
the

voice

Bailey/ he exclaimed,

dis-

294

RANDOM

REMINISCENCES

by

erectlyaddressing me
how

say

for

bound

ask

you

New

York

pocket

I felt it

that

plank

bed

in

not

to

rolled it up,

and

lay

down.
two

chanced

to

have

long
'

mild

This

of all

out
a

iced
he

Don't

was

water
so

bars, which

only

proportion to

in
kind
I

was

to

hand

able

to

which

rings means

they

iced

days before).

two

the

fillat

janitor

?' I inquired.

two

York

old

custodian

He

explained

its merits.

me

old

The

New

did

not

provide

Police-station,but

Thirty-thirdStreet
as

and

surlily.

learned

that

way

off my

head

my

an

was

asked

amused

witticism

matter-of-fact

that it

?' he
in

that

know

you

want

lived

you

sleeping

sleep, however,

to

pocket.

d'you

so

Police.

silver cab-whistle

in

in my

I took

So

if

certain,
of

put it under

in my

?' (a fact I had

water

in

have

I felt

of the

chance

missed.

on

What

people

means

no

to

here

had

sent

Chief

the

going

blasts

appeared.
How

several

have

have

and

Before

sounded

be

send

messenger

prison cell,and

don't

letter of introduction

again

never

opportunity
coat

possible,although by

might

could

ten

me

But

ugly.

were

O'Brien,

Colonel

to

But

on

I had

asked

you

up

I could

whom

Also

you

There

one.'

to

I got

I can't

'

is,I got

fact

waiter

York

ring

to

for

inclined.

drink

in New

anyone

They're

The

that darned

five-cent

know

you

for this.

am

when

bit full,and
cents

sorry

de cachot,

nom

my

tin mug
a

tap

by

through
the head

my

of

296

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

Odd

Fellows

start

their

on

neighbour,a cab-driver, in

drive.

next-door

My

tall silk hat

She

knew

had

where

she

his hand

to

Sadie

Drunk

me

as

bowled

we

sir,that's the

disorderly1'

and

with

case

which
cigarette-case,
and

we

and

all lit up,

constitutional
individual
the

arrived
we

the

the

the

"

where

cage,

address

my

there

was

the

intervals
a

from

fumes

cell, for they

perfumes
My

of

were

Street

them

parts
I

which

had

far

we

'

into

amongst

more

in
had

the

huge
factors
male-

of

arrived

city.

This

sighed wearily
offended

assailed

lot

o'

for

in my

me

'all the
me

comfort,

some

my

batches

of

which

were

prison,and

our

certainlypreferableto
Araby

and
over

come

crowd

fresh

den.

however,
cigarettes,

distributed

to

thrown

"

where

various

of carbolic

of

already

was

noisome

most

least

woman,

freedom

doors

at

men,

assembled, and
at

old

one,

republic. But

upon

nail-studded

all

were

large

find

would

under

my

that, under

them

monarchy, they

of

at

ladies

young

I assured

libertythan

middle

round

chatted

We

to

I suppose,

the
includingthe girls,

I advised

right,

turned

And

'

fortunatelya

was

side, where

our

he

I handed

hideous-lookingnegro.

laughed.
to

?'

you

All

'

And

continued,

off,and

waved

He

exclaimed

cheerily,and

in the

home, and

at

find him.

likelyto

was

her

him

evidentlymissed

light

wife

anxious-faced
suit, recognised his little,
group.

and

nice

now.

and
new

297

VENDETTA

There

friends.'
for the

part, with

most

and

short

of

all of
who

whose

had

as

terriblyfrom

had

murder.

few

He

was

As

hours

When

I gave

had

blandly,

'av-a

through his

teeth.

round

pressed

you

and

down

"

Did

Canal

assassin

strong

then.
in his-a
yes

for

kill him

Street,

Italian
'

father

what

two

I wait-a.

And

last,at about

all

'

'

he

Did

The

-a

'

spat

'

guess,' etc.

?'

and

toughs gathered
would

draw
be

on

way

young

perfectsang-froidwith
superfluous

many

I not

ago.

another
It

old-a

I put-a

in his-a
was

'E

enough
ball

one

Oh

thigh.

refreshingto

o'clock, ushered

final

call-a vendetta.

we

just-a now

right.'

eleven

replied quite

That

year

shoulder,and

! is-a dead

of the

him

asked

man,'

ever.
what-

emotion

no

who

perfectly

and
cigarette,

and

accent

Was-a

committed

details.

told his story with

syllables.
kill-a my

Several

you

previously

shoot

justa

young

Barcia,

there, he

him

brought
'

Pietro

exhibited

him

suffering

were

eighteen,with

lad of

drunkards

contrast,

in, called

expressionlessface, and

what

shooting Sheriffs,were

or

headache.
ushered

only

suggested nothing

of fact, harmless

matter

These

hats.

sombrero

trains

flannel

red

over

mildly disorderly,and

been

was

coats

appearance

holding up

them,

Italian

ragged

broad-brimmed

desperadoes,

men

air of fierceness, tempered

an

by intemperance, with
shirts

broken-nosed

'toughs/

were

into court,

be

at

and

298

to

in

RANDOM

clean.

somebody

see

front

of

witnesses

REMINISCENCES

the

magistrate,our

the

nearer

up

old

morose

the

concerned

beak.'

she

had

before

fumbling for
held

the

ready

planked

turn

our

been

hand

mentioned

by

againstpaying
The

tone,

not

been

locked

ten

though
all

up

he

set

vengeance
doubt

he

reached

has

very

night,and

I endeavoured
afraid

am

It
that

was

it

'

was

so

poor

winter
weak

as

When

of

in

two

dice
preju-

of half

that

indifferent

an

we

had

hearing

that

we

F and

we

Discharged

solemnly
and

wreaked

vowed

have

it.

handed

me

little

When

dishevelled, the
he

the

before

my

I
clerk

key.

but
correspondinglyraffish,

look

to

in the

felt

on

restaurateur,

sly look

she

whether

reallycared,

this time

by

fine,which

for drinks

hotel, dirty and

my

me

gave

the

on

and

his economic

liberty. O'Donoghue

at

after

Worship.

magistrate inquired,in

as

how

extracted

disposed

cents

exclaimed
had, he laconically
were

his

reiterated

in

knew

almost

was

case

friend

My

value.

of her

clerk's

the

came,

minutes.

purse,

preciseamount
the

into
had

amount

in her

made

before, and,

charged

moment

the

was

had

She

case

edged

next

me

acquaintance I

been

each

as

row

their

and

and

pleasure-penitentiary
waggon.

often

long

in the

Next

whose

lady

in

accusers

being opposite,facing us,

disposed of, those

was

all stood

We

attempt.

followingmy
and

ill that

tripto

America

I submitted

my

CURE

THE

thorax

the

to

Fowler, who

must

at

unerring

299

of my

ear

friend

discovered

immediately

advanced

an

CONSUMPTION

OF

that

give

London

up

in

was

told

He

stage of consumption.

once

Kingston

me

late hours.

and

deeply regret that,through culpablethoughtlessness,

I omitted
of

to

remember

Mr.

and

generous

and

Mrs.

I had

there

for

cures

in

Carte,

D'Oyly
stage

was

most

siderate
con-

that

so

last

my

happy

very

that

London,

one.

so

were

simple

many

other

phthisis. Every

infallible

and
I

man

self,
my-

had

met

remedy.
'

the

under

only

idea, until I developed the disease

no

that

time

that

as

can

stage.

management

of the

remembrance

the

the

at

was

date

important a

so

from

retirement

my

of

down

note

fellow, why

dear

My

Why

treatment,

Croydon

who

'

and

I should

his

Another

heal

of

friend
eaten

watercress

the

Simply

visit

No

live

lump

came,

the

too

mine

old

an

fingers.'He

it until

was

every
most

and

quite well.

be

but

go

until

rubbing

on

simple remedy,

would

to

me

day

every

go
then

one.

Croydon.

at

physic.

no

in
electricity

had

would

house

?' asked

abroad

at

/'

chest

my

diet,

no

lady begged

take

simply

not

go

would

and

lump
This

morning

me

that
before

perforatedof lungs.

rub

then

went

he

away,

sounded

try it.

scepticalto

told

man

bunch

getting

of
up

However,
fashioned

the

with

visit

summer,

and

(I

Italian

red, the

worst

came

with

my

the

to

or

Riviera
there

the

plot

been

respect

as

When

siroccos

and

was

tra

pleurisy)
small

minimum
tiled

with

walls

were

earthquake,

in those

parts, they

the

shocks

or,

if the

inhabitants

the

into

playmate

youngest

my

older.

conspire to

persuade

is

to

As

there, the
as

The

console

weather

was

happy

permitted,

between

montane,

take

to

the

home

themselves
of

in my

at

visitors fall in

matter

was

inhabitants

folk

winter, and

no

order

loathsome

the

believe, the villageinfant.

deceived.

visits

two

for

of

fifteen years

in

my

thoroughness.

was,

there

the

case

crush

worst,

merciful

twelve

out

in

but

very

were

rooms

stove.

built in the

house

groined, and

forty-one,and

having

the

of

with

receive

to

as

England

say, with

to

resist
successfully

Bordighera

of the
that

floors

with

powder,

about

is

good,

me

to

indoors,

fire in the

bed

phenomenon

either

was

to

(about 2 feet) that

would

back

disposed

so

uncommon

In

do

taken

that

"

to

went

time

my

holiday in

I had

say,

big

gone

ceilingswere

thick
not

and

my

fashion

The

sun.

had

to

of

seemed

me.

and

windows,
of

shut

spent

nearly killed

is

most

spent

spellthere

second

old

and

windows

first

My

that

"

old-

conventional

the

through

went

treatment

Bordighera,

so

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

300

for

fact,during
in

native

every

land.

mistrals

air, I used

and
to

NORDRACH

old

meet

and

with

gentlemen

carrying coloured
How

'

do

would

sound

new

would
After

the

in your

that

be

Brookfield,' one
'

in

that he

sanatorium
wife
few

and

I travelled
at

beloved

Italy which
weeks

at

Dr.

wood,

the

chaise
are

no

taken

in,

Walther's

Forest.

My

stages, staying a

Goethe,

and

the

turesqu
pic-

very

baths

Roman

only

in

country
and

mutton)

walls

the

of

few

with

beyond

assistants

personally to

his

an

are

the

or

is very

nurses.

is
of

drastic

varnished

oilcloth,the

extremely

table, and

successful

most

treatment

generallywith

"

the

bedrooms

floors covered

longue,

the

away

altogether. There
room,

by

(a perfectlydelightful

edible

is far and

invariably open

each

Dr.

it is the

there is,but
lung specialist

The

at

told

Badenweiler.

Walther

one.

to

easy

absurdly cheap

produces

be

me

Black

Lucca

efficacious,and

most

by

by Shelley

and
are

di

for

in the

there

Bagni

Now,

two.

suddenly

was

time,

Nordrach,

at

weeks

spot,

arranged

months'

of

couple

had

had

you've

or

them

Bordighera, and

at

worse

lighterand lighterin weight,I

Fowler

day

of

friction ?'

and

getting worse

I hear

last

lung the
or

their shoulders

over

umbrellas.

cotton

Marina

rale

shawls

do, Mr.

you

across

cry

301

windows

casement

moved
re-

little furniture

in

comfortable

shower-bath.
The

fiftypatients,and

doctor

bed,
There
attends

visits each

one

302

three

times

and

his

regulates

the

best

are

taken

in

by

the

over

his
has

of

to

at

shed

at

doctor,

with

the

all events,
is

three

if he be

four

or

bread, and

(leg,wing,

butter

mid-day

vegetables,and

full

slices

And

for

three

or

four

plate

of

minced

three

and

four

or

litre of

pancakes,

After

weathers

(and

fortnight I
breakfast

nine, when

there) the
after

exceed

allotted
two

miles

by
an

veal

we

the

and
used
went

two

the
hour.

All

have

In all

bed.
the

first
after

out

and

great-

walk

three, and
at

pace

not

be

back

to

sit about

patients troop

doctor

and

regulation

incessantly for

or

and

another

to

to

an

milk.

pork

hot

dinner, bareheaded

coatless, in parties of
distance

we

supper

it rained

was

and

butter

be

litre of

perhaps

or

of

ounces

till

smoke

would

beef, together with

raw

milk.

beef, with

o'clock)hot

(at seven

supper

by

most

chicken

of

plate of pudding,

black

the

half

milk,

or

But

meat.

ordinary dinner, accompanied

appetite
fast
Break-

white

meal

Each

litre of

"

on

breast),five

and

his

as

demands.

meal

slices of cold

is the

ordeal

his left.

much
"

of

patients on

on

English

ounces

few

German

as

easy

They

long table, presided

sufferers

times

comparatively

trying

three

about

eat

British

the

the

are

cooked.

admirably

open

an

and
right,

and

meals

although everything is

treatment,

its kind

chart,

temperature

The

exercise.

the

of

his

examines

day,

trying part

"

REMINISCENCES

RANDOM

the
to
an

304

RANDOM

disobedience

to

fact
the

that

the

reaches

chamber

of

chamber

death,

old

hair,

shoulders, and
doctor

that

the

at

and

him

he

and

we

shed.)

sittingerect

patients,in
with
'

to

nearly

months.

stone
to

Abbe

given

was

piano

performer,

fine

But

old

thrown

head

piano, his

till ten

programme.

twenty

the

to

Dr.

Walther

thirty eager-eyed

or

consumption, listening

of

of

strains

solemn

was

well

not

stone

10

when

for the

think

in

can

left.

years

his

and

weight

stone

to-day,three

speak
I do

stone

12

the

the

Chopin's

March.'

Thanks
on

the

stages

rapt attention

Funeral

at

by

various

told

excellent
a

was

his

effect of this white-haired

forgetthe

back, surrounded

He

long

upon

sit up

to

an

was

excellent

an

He

allowed

were

supper,

He

beard.

destitute.

play. (There

never

curls

heavy

white

was

through

wanderer

in

our

shed, with

our

arrival.

next

pianist,a pupil of

of the

end

went

shall

was

that

hearty meal,

wild

he

Liszt, and

hear

outside

the

to

it into

sittingover

fell

which

coat

convert

for the

of

appearance

fresh

to

were

we

appeared

man

white

to

order

in

evening, as

give

to

of convalescence

One

the

patientsis

his way

on

of the

orders),the only intimation

of

varnisher,

an

REMINISCENCES

little
I

before
And

later,which

Nordrach

bring

I put

treatment,
over

two

went,

and

am

seems

12

over

to

me

system.
these

random

reminis-

appropriatelyto

more

cences

from

obituary notices

two

in the

while

press

gracious

patientwho
yacht with
in
any
'

'

parts
'

great

while

which

of

far

me

and

the

other
at

finished

his club

in

that

he

missed.'

END

THE

AND

SONS,

LTD.,

PRINTERS,

GUILDFORD

I had

by saying :

up

remarked

his

newspapers

invaluable

was

royal

kindly than

more

one

he

the

by

board

on

up

Both

with

honoured

was

laid

time

actor,

But, after all,it is

BILLING

appeared

Cowes

at

up
I

injured knee).

an

rightto expect,
a

laid
way,

that

at

questionspoke

Never

myself

by quoting

kindly inquiries from

and

was

than

close

of

was

the

pleurisy (when, by
most

305

APPRECIATION

AN

in small

conclusion

will be

most

September

1902.

Mr.

Telegrams
1

Books,

Popular

and

New

Arnold's

Edward

Bedford

37

Street,
London.

Strand,

Scholarly,London.'

RECOLLECTIONS

OF

DIPLOMATIST.
the

By

Right

SIR

Hon.

RUMBOLD,

HORACE

G.C.B.,

BART.,

G.C.M.G.
BRITISH

FORMERLY

Volumes.

Two

After

narrating
carries

author
the

Turin,

at

and
Mission

phases

although

the
of

to

LONDON

of

be

the

255-. nett.
of

and

the

During

1873.

and

had

in

1859

nearly

he

1849,
this

it is believed

every

but

when

Paris, the
he

he

Berne,

accompanied

large

of

country

lightly on

Sir Horace
that

in

period

Athens,

entertainingreminiscences

Continent.

youth

entered

occupied
burg,
St. Peters-

the

British

opportunities of studying

unrivalled
in

his

year

Stuttgart,Vienna,

Society

predicted

EDWARD

to

from

necessarily touches

brilliant

tell,and

reasonably

He

book

high Society of
story

Frankfort,

China.

to

series

down

Constantinople,

different

his Recollections

on

8v0.

Demy

VIENNA.

AT

interestingepisodes

some

Diplomatic Service,

posts

AMBASSADOR

Rumbold
measure

Europe,

it
politics,
of

the
has

of

and
a

37, BEDFORD

STREET,

good

popularity may

for his work.

ARNOLD,

and

contains

Courts
many

the

STRAND.

THE

HOUSE
EDWYN

By
AUTHOR

OF

Volumes.

This

book

after

the

Alexander

the
in the

Seleucus.

The

of

them

The

history also.
the

are

East

we

watching

in the

kings

the

took

Seleucid

to

rulers

sented,
repre-

who

to-day
the

with

its contact

forerunners.
of

of the

coins

of

in

which

Jews,

English

in

chapter

conquest

series

deal

tradition
the

these

the

their

full-page portraits

two

complete

very

and

as

makes

monarchies,

religion, belongs

earlier

the

played

great

Greek

and

civilization

that

of

European

great

own,

our

European

besides

contains,
of

with

germ

the
Seleucid
upon
in fact, reveals
an

book,

are

It

in

the

from

our

in

Macedonian

which

(i )

civilization, which

Greek

representatives

look

may

history of

the

German,

Epiphanes

Antiochus

tance,
imporrule

by

ways

over

of the

elements
of

the

The

(3)

chief

This

in

taken

was

immense

kingdom.

in many

consequence

the

identical

was

in

nett.

$os.

dynasty which

founded

modern
book, even
history of the Seleucid

episode

epoch

an

that

"

of

the

with

no

of

many

(2)

marks

the

East

Maps.

Greco-Macedonian

deals

It

and

civilization

the

"

VINCTUS.'

'PROMETHEUS

OF

Portraits

Greek

Great.

imperial system

shape.

of

Greek

is of vital

period
in

is

There

Roman

and

phase

principal part

special study
the

of

yet singularly neglected

and

East

With

8v0.

BEVAN.

TRANSLATION

PUBLISHED

Demy

treats

SELEUCUS.

ROBERT

RECENTLY

THE

Two

OF

that

to-day.

East

of

Antiochus

issued

which

process

III.,

ductions
repro-

Seleucid

the

under

dynasty.

THE

ENEMIES
the

By

This

is

inquiry into

an

felt

examines

in

for

Sv0.

religion, manners,
The
each
has
time

true

Power

that

encountered

animosities,

accumulated
the

finds

the

strenuous

future

us.

of which

nor

the

risen

against

the

envy,
in

in

from

6d.

of

nett.

hatred

the

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peoples

Europe.

turn

during

that
towards

the

opposition
the

Meanwhile,
all Powers

of

we

alike

many

author

neither

that

have

the

last

of
In

each,

of

planted

regard

with

an

race,

for it.

eight centuries

domination

England.

ambitions

broken

for

The

satisfactorilyaccounts

malice

fact

and

now

finds

explanations, and

has

bred

PEEL.

I2S.

causes

by

current

trade,
he

cause

the

England
the

turn

GEORGE

Hon.

Demy

centuries

ENGLAND.

OF

Europe
of

course

have

Empire

slowly
seas,
over-

apprehension.

THE

FORESTS
AND

FOREST

SURVEYOR

THOMAS

FORESTS

IN

be

can

few

the

public

Forests.

The

author

and

describes,
the

of the

forest, their

which

trees

have

Webber's

his
the

and

of

account

region

of Tibet.

Forest

Management.

The

WITH

volume

H.

FELLOW

hunting

the

in

with

OF

ROYAL

THE

denizens
also

them,

be

may

valuable

vide
pro-

drawn

unknown

Appendix

on

UGANDA.

C.M.G.,

AUSTIN,

forest-lore

still almost

he

regions

of

animal

attention

special

journeys

deal

The

of

to

and

Jungles
the

over

great

Webber

Mr.

Indian

IN

HERBERT

Major

than
of

care.

methods

concludes

nett.

wide

chief

while

his

and

MACDONALD

By

6d.

claim

with

readers

been

have

far

OF

GORAKHPUR.

1 2$.

better

travelled
his

habits,

Maps.

CONSERVATOR

DEPUTY

AND

AND

fascinating subject

interesting chapters,

many
Mr.

has

entertains

about

to

the

on

PROVINCES

With
who

men

enlighten

WEBBER,
PROVINCES,

CENTRAL

THE

"vo.

Demy
There

W.

NORTH-WEST

THE

FOR

INDIA

INHABITANTS.

THEIR
By

LATE

UPPER

OF

GEOGRAPHICAL

D.S.O.,

R.E.,

SOCIETY.
t

completion

The

the

of

up

With

8v0.

Demy

of

the

Uganda

have

ordinarily fascinating portion

an
probably not fully realised to what
the

to

very

little band

the

in

difficulties, and

the

accomplished
the

How

command

of

is

Uganda
as

Sudanese
of
at

what
the

Uganda

of

white

the

midst

work

a
part
in
who,

as

of

this

after

probably
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to

escort

really
time,

its

may

well

actual
that
took

arrival,

it is

place,

tend

to

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as

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down

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rebellion,

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ECONOMIC

SUGGESTIONS
BRITISH
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EMPIRE.

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