8/12/2016

WhatisHostileAggressiveParenting

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WhatisHostileAggressiveParenting?
HostileAggressiveParenting(HAP)isdefinedas:Ageneralpatternof
behaviour,manipulation,actionsordecisionmakingofaperson(usuallya
parentorguardian)thateitherdirectlyorindirectly1)createsunduedifficulties
orinterferencesintherelationshipofachildwithanotherperson(usuallya
parentorguardian)involvedwiththeparentingand/orrearingofthechild
and/or,2)promotesormaintainsanunwarrantedunfairnessorinequalityinthe
parentingarrangementsbetweenachildsparentsand/orguardiansand/or,3)
promotesongoingandunnecessaryconflictbetweenparentsand/orguardians
whichadverselyaffectstheparenting,wellbeingandrearingofachild.

SymptomsofHAP
UnderlyingcausesofHAP
Observableeffectsfrom
exposuretoHAP
SevereHAP
Addressing&dealingwithHAP
Roleofthecommunity
SanctionsforHAP
Howtohelp
HAPdocumentation(PDF)

HostileAggressiveParentingismostapparentinchildcustodydisputesandis
usedmostoftenasatooltoalignthechildwithoneoftheparentsduring
litigationovercustodyorcontrolofthechild.However,HAPcanbepresent
inalmostanysituationwheretwoormorepeopleinvolvedinachildslifeareat
oddswitheachotheroverhowachildmayberaisedorinfluencedbytheparties.HAPcanbepresenttosomeextent
evenwhencouplesarestilllivingtogether.

AlthoughHostileAggressiveParentingisoftenconfusedwithParentalAlienationSyndrome(PAS),atermcoinedbyDr.
RichardGardner,HAPandPASarenotthesame.HAPreferstothebehaviours,actionsanddecisionsofaperson,
whereas,PASrelatestothepsychologicalconditionofthechild.InthevastmajorityofcasesHAPisthecauseofPAS.
HostileAggressiveParentingisnotlimitedtothebiologicalparentsbutalsoappliestoanyguardiangrandparents,
extendedfamilymembers,daycareprovidersandtoanyotherpersonwhomaybeinvolvedincaringandrearingofa
child.Insomecases,itmayeveninvolveaparentindisputewiththechildsgrandparents,sometimestheparentsvery
ownparent!Anyformofinterferencetoanormal,healthyrelationshipbetweenachildandaperson(mostoftenoneofthe
parents)causedbyanotherpersonoragencyhavingsomecontrolorinfluenceoverthechild,iswrongandultimately
causesemotionalandpsychologicalharmtothechild.Throughoutthisdocumentthewordparentshallbeconsidered
synonymouswithguardian.
HostileAggressiveParentingisaveryseriousanddamagingformofabuseandmaltreatmentthat
parentsandevenotherfamilymemberscanengagein.HAPismostoftenidentifiedinindividualswith
controllingandbullyingpersonalitiesorthosewithmildtoseverepersonalitydisorders.HAPcanbea
factorinalltypesofparentingarrangementsincludingsolematernalcustody,solepaternalcustodyand
jointcustody.Interestingly,itissolecustodialparentswhoaremostoftenreportedtopracticeHostile
AggressiveParenting,especiallyinitsmostsevereform.
Ingeneral,parentsexhibitingHostileAggressiveParentinghavenotsucceededingettingonwiththeirownlifeand
remain,instead,controlledbytheirnegativeemotionsandcontinuetoexercisepowerandcontrolovertheirexspouse's
life,theirexspouse'sparentingandtoalargeextent,overthechildrenoftherelationshipaswell.HAPparentswillblame
everyoneelseexceptthemselves.
Highdegreesofconflictduringcustodysettlementsandlitigationarealmostsuresignsintheseaffectedfamilies.Hostile
aggressiveparentsareunabletoappreciatetheneedsoftheirchildandinmanycasesviewtheirchildasapossession
belongingtothemandnootherpersonshaveanyrighttothechild,especiallynotthechildsotherparentorotherpersons
thattheHAPparentdoesnotlike.Hostileaggressiveparentswillusethechildasaweaponagainsttheotherspouse
andfamilymemberswhenevertheyhavetheopportunity.AparentengagedinHostileAggressiveParentingwillalso
takecomfortinthatthecommunityingeneralwillchoosenottogetinvolved,probablybecausetheydontknowwhatto
do.AngryandvindictiveHAPparentsareoftenabletobringareignofterrorandrevengeontoanoncustodialparent
andtheirfamily,theirgoalbeingtogetthemoutofthechildslifeorattheveryleasttoseverelydamagetheirchilds
relationshipwiththeotherparentandotherparentsfamily.
HostileAggressiveParentingisconsideredbymanyhealthcareandlegalexpertsunhealthy,antisocial,abusive
behaviourwhichisemotionallydamagingandcontraryinterestofachild.Simplystated,itisdysfunctionalparenting,

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8/12/2016

WhatisHostileAggressiveParenting

emotionalchildabuseparentwhoisthetargetofHostileAggressiveParenting,aformofdiscrimination.

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