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Random Verses Of A
Surrealist Nature
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Written By Adi Cox (C)2016

CONTENT
(1) A Visit To A Mental Hospital
(2) This Is Rubbish
(3) The Waiting Room
(4) She Is Priceless
(5) "Aaaagh! The Ping Pong."
(6) Working From A Paternity Drive.
(7) Oh Behave!
(8) Ascension
(9) Jaundiced Racists
(10) "Get Over Your Self!"
(11) Freaky Car!
(12) Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valor
(13) Retail
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(1) A Visit To A Mental Hospital

I am at a place where there are cars parked
everywhere. I am looking for a parking space. I
have found a space but there is faded yellow
markings on the ground saying keep clear. I have
found another space, but I am blocking someone in
here. So I am still looking for a space.
I am in a documentary. I can hear a mans commentary
saying
"This
is
a
mental
hospital
for
underdeveloped and severe challeging behaviour
there is massive underfunding. The funds have been
cut by one hundred and fifty million pounds." I
understand that it is the politician Ian Duncan
Smith who is responsible for this travesty. The
camera is sweeping across the ground where there
are hundreds of crying babies laid on their backs.
Their undeveloped heads are like spots. I am
thinking 'Who would come into a life like this,
what sort of soul?' I am listening to the

commentary and I am startled to hear him say,

"There is a new species with three brains and two
frontal lobes in each brain." The camera is zooming
in and I can see a baby with a head and it is
looking around very alert with a serious expression
of intelligent understanding. At the top of its
head are three small brains externally visable and
each of these brains are in two parts. I understand
that this is a new species of baby. I am trying to
empathize with this baby. It is all very strange.
My imagination is in a scary new place.
(2) This Is Rubbish
It is bin day. The day that the bin men come round
with their big lorry to empty the bins. So I get
the bin out for the lady across the road, except it
is not a normal bin, It is metal and it is on
wheels, but it resembles more like a wheelbarrow
and instead of putting the wheely bin out on the
side of the road for the bin men to empty it. I
have brought it back to my garden. It is a very
rural setting and my next door neighbour is up, he
is doing some gardening and we say good morning to
each other. I am stood there thinking 'How am I
going to get this bin back to the lady across the
road, because I should not have taken it?' I am
looking across the road and I can see that she is
up and there is someone at her front door and they
are talking. 'How am I going to explain to the lady
why I have taken her bin?'
(3) The Waiting Room
I am in a waiting room. It is an old fashioned
victorian waiting room. There is a bloke who walks
through uttering something and I call him a silly
bugger, quietly so that he does not hear me and he
disappears behind a glass panel. There is someone
else in the waiting room with me, but I am not sure

who that is? Suddenly there is a continious ring.

like a glass has been tapped and someone is running
a wet finger around the rim of the glass. A big
friendly Alsatian dog jumps on me. The glass
ringing is in his big ear. I am in a waiting room
and I am not waiting for anything. I am waiting
because that's what you do in a waiting room.
(4) She Is Priceless
There are naked dolls in a pot. The dolls have
bending joints at their knees and elbows. I ask the
shop assistant, "How much is this doll?" The shop
assistant is an elderly lady. She gets out a book
and she is looking through it for the price of the
doll. She says, "This doll is ... " and then she
pauses. I look to see her with the order book and
her finger is on the price of the doll, but she has
hesitated and she is wondering what price to tell
me, I am getting impatient and beguining to have
second thoughts about buying the doll.
(5) "Aaaagh! The Ping Pong."
We were playing ping pong over a swimming pool. I
could fold or unfold the ping pong. I would fire
the ping pong or I could fold it up and hide it, it
was like a hot potato and it could not be handled
for long. I was playing ping pong with the lad and
with shock, horror, I would make him jump, "Aaaagh!
The ping pong!" I would bellow and he would jump.
Even though we had played over a swimming pool, the
ping pong never went in the water. The lad would
walk around to my side of the swimming pool and I
would fold up the ping pong and hide it and then it
was well hidden for a long time.
(6) Working From A Paternity Drive.
I am a medic and I am at the medical centre with

all the other medics. I have only just got back to

the medical centre from injecting an animal. It was
a cat or a dog or a lion, or something like that?
So the other medics are looking on the paternity
drive to find that they need to go out to give the
animal that I have just injected another injection.
I have done a right side injection and now they say
that he needs a left side injection. I think to
myself, 'good luck with that one, I've done my
injection.' I hear one of the medics say, "Yeah,
well we can soon give it an injection." and another
medic says, "Yes, but poor thing, it's only just
had an injection." So the medics ask, "Where do we
have to go?" Ihear the reply, "Number ten, the
party house. You know, the house around the corner
at the top." Then there was a realization: "Oh you
mean number eleven, the animal house. Well that's
what we call it." So they go off to this house and
as they do so I think to myself: 'I'm going to have
a look at this paterity drive.' So I see this
screen with sulls and cross bones and it;s set out
like the computer game 'Space Invaders.' All
blocky, black and white graphics where the space
invaders are human skull and cross bones. I find
this very amusing.
(7) Oh Behave!
There were people outside and we were all milling
around. I notice one woman at the door of a little
wooden shed and people are looking around this
garden shop, it is all outside. I hear this man
say, "Oi lady! fiddling around in there." I look
around and wonder which lady is he talking to? Is
it the lady at the shed, or one of the ladies who
are near the loud mans voice? Later I find myself
in a classroom sat at a desk by a window and there
are two teachers at this class sharing the
teachers' desk. One of the teachers is Annabell
Lockwood. (She's a dame you know.) I don't know who

the other teacher is, but they are both posh women
and I am fascinated to hear them bicker at each
other in a very snooty teacherly way. I watch their
postures and their poise. Their words are difficult
to hear as they disagree with each other in a
whispering fashion. Then I hear Annabell Lockwood
snap back at the other teacher in a contradictory
way. "Little be little you do." There was a
reference to psychology that I was getting from
these two teachers as I wached their performance
intently. Unknowingly to them, their demonstrations
and demon-strations were an administration for me,
as to how not to behave.
(8) Ascension
Because so many timelines are converging in this
great time of change on Earth, those stories that
have been edited out of the bible in one timeline
are present in another timeline and so this
converging of timelines gives a complete biblical
text. There are many more apostles and the bible is
as big as a library. There are biblical stories of
aliens. There are biblical stories written by
women. All these stories that have been discarded.
(9) Jaundiced Racists
I am in a hospital and someone has colour coded it.
It has been colour coded to make it more
interesting. There are white buildings and yellow
buildings. I wonder if the powers that be can code
it between Japanese and Chinese people or is that
too difficult? I get the feeling that this colour
coding has similarly been done before and yet when
I think back, I do not remember any colour coding
exactly like this.
(10) "Get Over Your Self!"

I go round to this party. All the table is used.

There are no places to sit around the table with
everyone else. So I find a seat with a seperate
table. I am not keen to be at a table on my own at
first, but I notice that other people are still
arriving at the party, so I am okay with it then
and so as other people are still coming in, Big Bob
has got a deck chair and he is having problems with
it as he is very large and extremely over weight.
So as he sits down onto his deck chair he is also
underneath the deck chair too and he sits on
himself? I am just witnessing this, as Bob is both
sat on the deck chair and also on the ground
underneath it. I do not look at Bob sat on the deck
chair, I just know that he is, but I watch Bob
underneath the deck chair roll over on the ground
and free himself from under himself. It is not
strange to me that Bob is in two places at the same
time, because that is something that Bob is likely
to do. I am just concerned to see if Bob can get
free from himself.
(11) Freaky Car!
I am walking home. It is a long walk home. I cross
a road and get to a path on the other side and as I
am walking down this path I see a car coming
towards me. I am wondering, 'is that car on the
road or on the path?' I can not make it out at
first and then I see that it is on the path and it
is coming towards me. Next I am wondering, 'is that
a full size car or a miniture car?' I decide that
it is a miniture car and by this time it has nearly
reached me so I walk to the side and the miniture
redirects itself towards me, as if it wants to run
me over. So as it reaches me I jump on its roof. It
is a silver four wheel drive car with a black soft
top on and as I am standing on the black soft top
roof of this miniture silver four wheel drive car
moving along and there is a slightly robotic voice

saying, "stop!" Everytime I push my foot down into

the black soft top roof, the robotic voice says,
"stop!" So I am repeatedly pushing my foot down and
this creepy robotic voice is saying, "stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop!" So then we come to a full stop.
(12) Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valor
I am with this nice young lass and she is wanting
to sell some belongings on the internet auction
sale. Her belongings are reported to be worth
280.00 and a reserve price of 200.00 is
suggested, but that is up to her and whatever she
wants to do. I do not know what these belongings
are. I am guessing jewelry, but she does not say
and I do not ask.
(13) Retail
I was in this shop. I ended up buying a little TV.
The serving assistant got me to take off my jacket.
The serving assistants were all ladies in a row. It
looked like they all had phones, but on second
inspection, I think that they were all electronic
gadgets that they used to sell the shops products.
I am quite comfotable with these female shop
assistants. I feel that I am at home with these
ladies. Maybe because I am homeless and that I have
nowhere else to go anyway. These ladies are lovely,
but they do seem a bit disinterested. I don't think
that it is me, per se. It is just that they are in
work mode and that they have their rediculous jobs
to do. I feel blessed to be jobless. I really feel
for these ladies in their laborious jobs doing
their mundane tasks. I am with some other lads and
there is some 'pillocking around' as we say around
here in our own local vernacular. We were laughing
and joking with each other. For some reason society
deems that this jovial attitude is unacceptable and
so by societies standards we proudly display our

unacceptably jovial behaviour. I was finding it

difficult to get these ladies attention, but
eventually I got my words in to place my order with
which one of the retail assistants nonchalantly
processed. I thought that she was lovely. I felt as
though I could really connect with her and we had
fun chatting, then she said, "Take your jacket
off." I said "Why?" I was wondering 'why is she
asking me this?' She reiterated "Take your jacket
off." 'Okay' I thought, hesitantly I take off my
jacket. "That's better." she said in a kind voice
and looking at me with a little wry smile. I was
wondering, 'does she think that my jacket is
scruffy? ... Cheeky cow!' I end up buying a tiny TV
off her. I still think that she is a lovely lass.
she is a bit subtle. She is a bit cheeky too.

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Authors notes:
"This is a rediculous book full of gratuitous
imagination."