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Samantha Amirkhizi
Professor Jennifer Rodrick
QS115 MW2:00
18 October 2016

The Many Conform and Few Perform

Believe or not, the majority of us conform to the normal narrative of society.
Society forces us into a narrow region of accepted identities. These identities are even more so
limited to those in the queer community, due to their own restrictions. You have to conform in
order to be included, and we do. We conform in order to have and keep connection. We conform
to gender roles or norms, members of the queer community conform to preset stereotypes for
each identifier, members also conform to labels within the community, and conform to
normal or accepted sexual behaviors. More often than not we forget our true selves in order to
receive acceptance, love, or validation.
The most common model of conformity are the gender roles people have been
obeyed since Genesis. These roles can be displayed in terms of clothing, physical attributes,
anatomy, athletic ability, career choice, personality traits, and/or sexual behavior. However,
humans mainly focus on visual aspects of a person. Physical aspects, anatomy, and clothing
choice are the main focuses when assigning or assuming gender roles. Even though, in the
article, Gender and Sociology, it states, Scholars generally regard gender as a social construct,
meaning that it does not exist naturally but is instead a concept that is created by cultural and
societal norms, (Boundless 1). Society forces us, from as early as birth, to assume a gender and
reflect that in our clothing. Now observing the choice of clothing is one of the larger factors
when it comes to gender identification. Men are to wear clothing that shows their build, is

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comfortable, and is to be mainly focused on their male attributes.These attributes pertaining to a
hyper-masculine image known as muscles. Women, on the other hand, are to wear clothing that
is light in color, usually uncomfortable, and accentuates their curves. Clothing choice is
especially critical when it comes to someone that identifies as queer. In the article, For These
Millennials, Gender Norms Have Gone Out Of Style, Lidia Jean Kott, the author, speaks about
Rae Tutera that identifies herself as being "on the masculine side of the gender spectrum." She
also told a story about her own identification issues within her clothing style, Tutera has worn
men's clothing for most of her life. But before, she says, the clothes hid her. In that suit, made
exactly to her measurements, Tutera realized she has the right to be visible, (Kott 1). This is all
too common within the community, whether it being a girl dressing in a masculine manner or a
man dressing in a feminine one.
Even though clothing is a choice, we conform to pre-existing stereotypes onset to those
within the queer community. In the study by Victoria Clarke and Kevin Turner, titled, Clothes
maketh the queer? Dress, appearance and the construction of lesbian, gay and bisexual
identities, Clarke and Turner argue, whether a small group of younger British lesbians, gay men
and bisexuals felt under pressure to conform to lesbian/gay appearance norms and used their
clothing and appearance to actively construct and manage a visual identity as lesbian, gay, or
bisexual (LGB), (Clarke/Turner 1). The study mainly focused around the negative connotation
that comes with these stereotypes of clothing. Masculine clothing being worn by a women is
considered to be butch or dyke-ish. On the other side of that is the man dressing in feminine
clothes is considered to be unmasculine. The clothing only establishes what the normal is
according to the stereotypes set in the community. That lesbians should dress in a masculine

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manner and gays in a feminine one. Those stereotypes are forced onto those in the community,
which prevent the growth of that persons identity.
Past the surface of conformity, lies the sexual behaviors of those within the queer
community forcibly practice. These sexual acts or behaviors are forced through conformity of
preset notions of homosexual sex. This is very apparent through Brent Honers dissertation
Exploring the relationships among conformity to masculine norms, mutuality, and sexual
behaviors in gay, bisexual, and queer men's same-gender friendships. In the writing, Honer cites
...sexual contact between gay men may actually facilitate intimacy and friendship for those who
conform to traditional masculine gender role norms. That is, gay men who conform to the belief
that men pursue sex without intimacy may have sexual encounters with unfamiliar men and later
cease sexual contact as intimacy increases, in order to pursue friendships instead, (Honer 16).
The masculine gender roles and personality traits are not only forced upon hetero sexual men but
homosexual men as well. The stereotypical sexual behavior of homosexual men is a direct result
from those forced gender roles. Meaning, less intimacy and more sexual encounters, which is
what is seen as normal in the community now. Due to this being a norm members in the
community conform to these sexual behaviors. Many gay men have spoke out about the cycle
that is open gay relationships. There is an app that allows people to share their thoughts
anonymously on any given topic. These are just a few of the thoughts of gay men wanting to be
monogamous:
Im a gay male who feels so out of place. I believe in monogamy and I feel like
so many gays dont, why do I feel like Im weird for wanting to be monogamous?
Im starting to think that as a gay male. Love and monogamy is something I
wont be able to find.

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I wish that the other gay guys in my life werent so promiscuous. I crave some
commitment. Is it that hard?
These are just three out of the many that were posted. These posts display a storyline
about the normal sexual behaviors within the community. Some of the posts even talked about
conforming to an open relationships just to stay with their partner.
It is unfortunate that in 2016, we still conform and identify ourselves with old stereotypes
or generalizations, whether they be based on race, gender, or sexuality. This is especially true
within the LGBT community. Many of the members that identify with the community, conform
to those labels or titles and the stereotypes that string along with them. We use clothing and
physical attributes to define a persons masculinity or femininity. We also use stereotypes or
generalizations towards members in the community and if they do not fit their designated
stereotypes they are ostracized by society and their fellow members. Sexual behaviors are forced
upon those within the community as well. Promiscuity is seen as normal, while monogamy is
considered to be outlandish and ridiculous. We use all of these in order to place people into
categories. We have a need to force strict labels on people, because we are afraid of what we do
not understand.

Works Cited
Boundless. Boundless Psychology. Gender and Sociology, 26 May 2016,
https://www.boundless.com/psychology/textbooks/boundless-psychology-textbook/gender-andsexuality-15/gender-414/gender-and-sociology-296-12831/.
Horner, Brent P. Exploring the Relationships among Conformity to Masculine Norms,
Mutuality, and Sexual Behaviors in Gay, Bisexual, and Queer Men's Same-Gender Friendships,

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The University of Oklahoma, Ann Arbor, 2012.http://libproxy.csun.edu/login?
url=http://search.proquest.com.libproxy.csun.edu/docview/1312337383?accountid=7285.
Kott, Lidia Jean. "For These Millennials, Gender Norms Have Gone Out Of Style." NPR.
NPR, 30 Nov. 2014. Web. 19 Oct. 2016. <http://www.npr.org/2014/11/30/363345372/for-thesemillennials-gender-norms-have-gone-out-of-style>.