‘COSTAMBAR Jenny’s Market ‘Catamaran Beach Bar El Carey Bar & Restaurant What To Do This Month Definitely Not The News The Rainy Day Page Useful Telephone Numbers md 4 Costambar Library Classified Ads Fj FY Pe Ber & Retcuroe CD And Lots More Fun Stuff! LNG, ce rs Ber FULL MOON pester or Page 4 - CM's exclusive weight loss program! Toei Bar Page 5 - The devil is in the details! Page 8 - Postcards from Italy! Page 13 - Panting for it! Page 15 - Swatch where you're looking! Supermercado Jose Luis tne) RUSA Money Exchange Meeting Place LAS ROCAS G Los Tres Cocos | COFRESI ‘Ocean World Marina ABSURDITY (DAY! Sere mn AA EWAN DYNCostambar Monthly page 2 da Wee om le) a Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to try something different. Call 809-993-4503 for details. Fine dining at it’s best! ‘At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach you'll find great food at great prices enjoyed with a million dollar view! Enjoy a relaxing breakfast on the beach. Every day they have Power Hour with 3X1 cuba libres from 6-7pm. Their food never disappoints! WIFI ZONE!!! Why not enjoy a seafood lunch at The Jolly Lobster Seafood Lounge! They invite you to come down and cool off in the wonderful ocean breezes and shade of the trees! Big Lee’s Beach Bar on the Malecon has fantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish & Chips, big juicy burgers and yummy sandwiches. Kitchen now open 9:30am to 11:00pm. Why not enjoy a meal with ocean views and cool breezes! Live Music will start again in December! Kevin & Patricia invite you to El Carey Restaurant - where you can enjoy the beach your way!! Every day from 5-7pm cuba/santo libres for RD$50 - now also with apple, pineapple and coconut rum. The best burger in town, Kevin's homemade Mamajuana and fresh made Pina Coladas! Pedro’s Bar & Restaurant has a full menu including Pedro's Famous Cordon Bleu. Fridays 4-6pm they have cocktail specials. WIFI Zone! Tropical Bar on the Malecon has over 20 types of Belgian beer and 8 sports channels! A great place to chill out and enjoy life! Karaoke with JEPOLS every Friday night! The Meeting Place is now on summer hours concentrated around the cruise ship arrivals. They are open on Mondays and Thursdays from 11am to tpm. La Otra Bar is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Domincan food - specializing in Chivo Picante! Happy Hour 5-7pm with 2 Dominican rum drinks for RD$100!! Watch for surprise Happy Hours when Grande Presidente or Bohemia is only RDS$100! When? Whenever they announce it - you have to be there to know! Also their Chivo and Chivo Picante are only RDS500 a serving. Sam’s Bar at Loase will reopen November 4th. They invite you to come enjoy a great menu including fish n’ chips, chicken curry & more and a large list of available activities including racquetball, swimming pool, billiards and more! They will be having their Thanksgiving Feast on November 24 with two seatings - 2pm & 5pm. Remember to make your prepaid reservations for by November 22 - no walk ins will be taken. Now wheelchair accessible. AMBER COVE SCHEDULE if AIDAluna 10am-6pm Nieuw Amsterdam | 10am-Spm Nov8 Carnival Vista ‘T2pm-8pm Nov9 | Camival Sensation | __9am-Spm Novid | Carnival Conquest | __7am-4pm Nov 14 Carnival Sunshine gam-Spm Novis Regal Princess Tam-3pm Novi6 Koningsdam 8am-Spm Novis Auura Sam-5pm Carnival Sunshine Nov22 Carnival Magic _|_9:30am-5:30pm Nov 22-25 | Adonia(volunteer) [__12pm-1pm Nov23 Eurodam Sam-Spm Nov28 | Camival Conquest | _ 7am-2:30pm Nov29 Regal Princess Tam-3pmCostambar Monthly page 3 a eel) Perk la) Cae Clot “Well that didn't CeCe ‘Aman approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.” BIG LEE'S Beach Bar Open Every Day 9am to lipm Serving Breakfast. Lunch and Dinner S-star rated on Trip Advisor for #1 Bar & top 10 restaraunts in Puerto Plata bive ‘Musié Returns * Cah Pectmbar , 0.) s 4 bigleesbeachbar_com)| WELCOME BACK‘! Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wich me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.Costambar Monthly page 4 Restaurant Zl Carey WELCOME KEVIN & PATRICIA’S EL CAREY Where you can enjoy the beach your way! a ee Cuba/Santo Libres for RDS50 NEW Apple, Coconut & Pineapple Rum With Coke or 7UP Only RDS50 Pe rs The Best }] in Town! FREE DELIVERY IN COSTAMBAR FROM NOON TO 10PM AVAILABLE FOR ALL TYPES OF EVENTS! Calle Reina Isabel, Costambar, Puerto Plata 8 SPORTS CHANNELS! VARIETY OF FOOD & TAPAS! With JEPOLS EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT! Check us out on Qropicasareor tripadvisor ON THE MALECON, CASETA #3, PUERTO PLATA OPEN FROM 12PM. CLOSED TUESDAYS. Ae Do you want to go the gym with me? Sent: 4:45pm oe cea Ta col sent 452m ‘There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a quaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the quy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman ie standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running, He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, fI catch you, you're mine!" ‘The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week he lost 34. You know you're getting old when your Wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, BO Un LLL ieCostambar Monthly page 5 Tr In front of Jenny's PEDROS cnc, 10:30am-3pm BAR & RESTAURANT Closed Sundays 809-970-7786 GW) A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church, Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other ina frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly biker who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?" ‘The old biker replied, 'Yep, sure do. ‘Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. "Nope, sure ain't.’ said the biker. "Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan, "Don't doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone. "Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?’ persisted Satan. "Yep;' was the calm reply, "And you are still not afraid?" asked Satan. 'Nope;' said the old biker. More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Why aren't you afraid of me?" ‘The old biker calmly replied, ‘Been married to your, sister for 4 years." Cea sa eid story which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winner's story: "Oh god, lam BR a Mea ‘i Cs and Crackers. sane aes ad Crackers, es aa EATING A CLOCK? eA Mh ee Tei] [c Cmest [lat Hours (after Nov 4) Tues to Sat 11:30am-8pm Sun Gam-pm Closed Mondays ‘SAM'S WILL. REOPEN ON FRIDAY NOV 4 AT/11:30AM Come for the Great Food you've been craving!! @z, THANKSGIVING DINNER/FEAST ae Thursday November 24th RD$800 Two seatings - 2pm & Spm Propaid Reservations by Nov 22 - NO walk ins CORE iy ois 1 (eee Dee Oe ei Mer art eee iseCostambar Monthly page 6 A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation." SUT middle finger isn’t CUT RCO 8 someone know how SOR DOMINIGAN FOOD/COMIDA GRIOLLA! ea ee IN FRONT OF JENNY’s MARKET, have two hands. 809-970-7617 829-770-0661 Takiijita] Ill never forget how happy I was when I lightytefat| caw my miscus walking down the aisle U rtoPlatan I'm so.otp I a. a ro «om | toward me, REMEMBER WHEN A OURS! My heart was beating fast and the HASHTAG WAS CALLED 11:00am-1:00pm | excitement was unbearable. It seemed to A POUND SIGN. Monday & Thursday | take ages, but eventually, there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a loving smile and said, “Get that trolley over here love. They're doing 3 cases of beer for the price of 2!" AND WE PLAYED TIC-TAC-TOE ‘ON THAT SHIT.Costambar Monthly page 7 A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that