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It started with the mushroom, the thing that I craved more than anything, the
information of fungi where I could learn characteristics of mushrooms to understand the
mushroom. Before I start my story I will tell you how I became possessed by the mushroom. It
was the year that I was 19, so lets say June of 2009. I was working with my dad's cousin
Patrick and I saw in the grass a mushroom. I actually found 2, but decided to only take the one
home. A part of me knew it was psychedelic, I don't know about instinct, but the mushroom
called to me. A few weeks later the mushroom had dried on the table next to my T.V. and I
decide to eat the mushroom. You must understand that I just ate a random mushroom that I
thought was psychedelic but it could have been poisonous. I went over to Shelly's friends
house Alisha, and although I had been drunk earlier, all of a sudden I felt a slight surge as I felt
the mushroom.
At this point I became scared, I thought to myself, what are the odds that I actually ate a
psychedelic mushroom that I found on the ground. I started researching, and I didn't stop for
many years, which is how my mushroom obsession started. Mushrooms are sacred and I'm
going to tell you the story of how the mushroom, the girl, the prize, and the telepathy all came
into play. The first question I have is whether or not the mushroom is telepathic. It is a belief I
have that seems to fit because the mushroom is what opens up the other world. There are
other drugs that get me there, like DMT, LSD, cocaine, meth, and the good old robo trip, ccc's.
There is something about cough medicine that creates an alternate reality, but I am pretty sure
it was the mixture of all of the above that caused this intense situation that continues to this
day. It is the delusion of finding true love, the person meant for you, a person with the
telepathic communication being awesome together, being held, and happy glorious thoughts
together. The question of whether it is really happening or not is up to you. I will tell you the
things that I believe to be happening. The reality of it is that I had hundreds to thousands of
insane delusions for many years. This does not stop for me, and I would like people to hear the
information of these other dimensions that I have vividly been living in.
There are many questions and many are unanswered. Why do these girls say things to
me in my mind constantly and to top it all off they call me sexy, gorgeous, one of a kind,
unique, and beautiful. My voices have lifted me to peaks that very few people have felt. Highs
that really should not exist. Okay, imagine this, the music that is playing was purposefully
played for me. It was as if my friend picked that song somehow to speak to me in words that he
couldn't say out loud, through the music. Oh how the music speaks to me at times. It is a
powerful experience when the television or the music is talking to you in a strange digital way.
You may say "right" at the same time Hank says "right on" in "King of the Hill" and it is these

little annoyances that I experience which keep showing me that this other reality is real. What
are the odds that I would say a word in my head at the exact same time it is said out loud. The
English dictionary is vast, so what the fuck is it. If there is any condition that medical science
can give me it is schizoaffective. Psychedelics mimic the exact same symptoms as someone
who is schizo, especially because I was using the drug DMT.
DMT is a very unique drug, at the time I was trading an ounce of mushrooms for 3.5
grams of DMT, it was a very good deal. I ended up buying two balls throughout that period, so
I did around 7 grams of DMT within the month, on top of eating an eighth to two eighths of
mushrooms a day as I did cocaine. There is an interesting story that happened with that
downstairs couple who would trade me cocaine for mushrooms. The cocaine amplified
everything! The combo of coke, DMT, and mushrooms made it so I never crashed. I would stay
up for days and days. Sometimes I get these night sweats, I don't know how to explain it but
my body temperature spikes and I sweat profusely in my sleep for a few hours. When I awake I
am in the other world. The dream world and reality connecting. It is an interesting experience
when the voices play along with your everyday life. When using psychedelics at massive
doses I can turn into a unique being. I do things that are bizarre and ritualistic. All the other
realities set aside, the most important of them was Revelations in the bible. I saw the name
Rhizo months prior in the word Rhizomorphic, and when I started to read Revelations it spoke
of the Root of David. I had been calling myself Rhizo for a bit of time now, but nobody else
seemed to respond to it. The world truly cannot understand what it is like to have a spiritual
awakening so spectacular that you will never be the same again. In 2012 the world was
supposed to end, and it did for me, but it is more of a dramatic change to the world rather than
an actual apocalypse.
You must understand that when dealing with prophecy of Revelations it had stemmed
from my ex girlfriend Shelly. I should have never got together with her in the first place
because there was never that spark, but one night I got drunk and this chick I was kinda
seeing was being a dick tease, so I ended up fucking Shelly. A few days later she comes over
all dressed up for me, and in my mind I am like "shit" this was not going to just be a one night
stand, she actually wants to be with me. At first I did not like it, but Shelly was always one of
the coolest people to me ever, so we started dating. My obsession with mushrooms was just
starting around this time and I would sit on Shroomery.org days on end learning about
mushrooms. The thing about me is that I choose the mushroom over a girl any day. My dream
was to find a girl who loved to trip and go into the cosmos together, and for her to help bring
me back. I have a habit of going to far with my delusions, especially the true love delusion, it is
the most powerful of them all.

So now it is 2013, and I had just got my first mushroom grow on the way, I ran into a
friend who had start up cash and I said if you give me a place and the supplies I will grow you
mushrooms. If I had realized what I was getting into before I did it, I think I would have said no.
I am growing mushrooms at my friends girlfriends house. It was around mid January, the time
my life changed drastically. I had done a grain to grain transfer with the 1 jar I had left over
from the 5 jars I had used to create a monotub, which is what you fruit the psychedelic
mushroom in. That night I got drunk and talked with my friend Katie on line, and I kinda tricked
her into telling me who my ex was sleeping with. She said one name and from that moment I
realized she had been cheating on me with every guy who she had said was just a friend. She
would talk so much shit about how dirty these guys were which kept me from believing that she
would have anything to do with them. I was torn to pieces in so many ways and the only thing I
really felt like I had anymore was my mushroom grow.
I turned one jar into hundreds of jars and I grew out that strain C especially. I would
clone the mushrooms to agar, it is where you cut a sample from the mushroom and then you
drop it onto the agar medium. The mycelium grows out and there you have multiple jars with
multiple clones going. I would label my jars BMC,BME,BMD,BMA, for the different strains, I
was using B and M because it was a blue meanie strain and I just used letters for marking my
strain. This is where I developed one of my first major delusions.

I was ripped from snorting DMT and I decided to stick the tape with the labels on them
to the wall, which I pulled off the used jars before I washed them. I then saw it, e=mc squared,
it was all connected by the labels that I had stuck to the wall and from there I realized that
Einstein wasn't talking about splitting atoms, it was about continuous living energy, hence, the
mushroom. Two spores connect and then hyphae starts to grow and the strands of the hyphae
make up the mycelium. The mushroom is continuous, never ending, it will rejuvenate itself
over
time by dropping spores and starting the cycle over again. This delusion took me away and I
actually believed that the nuclear bomb never existed.
My delusion was that back in the 1940's they used televisions over the American
people to make you believe things happened, but really they didn't. It was so easy for my mind
to see a reality where everyone in the world was conned into believing in an all powerful
weapon that could wipe out massive areas of people. For some reason it seemed more
plausible to do that than it would be to create this massive weapon. The idea of programming
the masses just seemed like a much easier thing to do. I am a situation where my
programming was disrupted and I was on a new program. I was on a quest, the never ending

search for the truth. I was mostly looking for the truth about what was going on with the
telepathy, Revelations, the True Love delusion, and my family. There were a lot of bizarre
telepathy experiences with my family that don't make a lot of sense. I will not talk about the
family too much because some things are private, and only a psychotic person like myself
could truly understand, well, except for my friend Heidi.
Heidi and me got together a year and a half later, after my Revelations experience. It
was nice to talk to someone who was as crazy as me. Crazy people understand crazy people,
which is why my friends are limited and I hang with the unusual ones. I had never met a
person that I could talk to about the unusual things I experienced and not be judged. There
were times where she would burst into tears when I would talk and it was because my
experiences were so emotional for her. She had gone through similar things throughout her
life and to hear these things coming from another person made her feel wonderful. At least
that is what I believe, because my whole story is of what I believe to be happening. There are
many things that happened to me in these other worlds that could be argued were just my
pure imagination, as mighty as it may be.
I remember the first voice I heard in my mind, or at least what I consider to be the first
voice. When it comes to the mind it is hard to know if it is you or another character that has
entered your psych. Entities are crafty and they enjoy to toy with you, they allow your mind to
flow and it is as if you are being controlled by another source. I felt this with my first voice and
they said "you know your going to die" and I responded with "I know, I am not afraid". I believe
that I have died in multiple dimensions and have literally left a wake of dead bodies.
There are some things that happen to me as I write and listen to music. Just now I
re-read the last paragraph and read "wake" at the exact moment it was said in the song I am
listening to. It is these little things that happen to me that make me question what the true
reality is. I feel like I am living in a dream world, like a dream inside a dream, and nobody can
wake me.
The truth is, there are many different realities to live in, but the general population
doesn't like the ones who live in other realities which are unfamiliar to them. In my case I was a
virgin at my abilities and over did it. I will say just a few of the things that don't make any
sense. I was down in Brooklyn square and the thought of my friend popped into my head, and
no shit, a few steps later I look up and it is my friend in his car. There were many times that I
would know that someone was calling me and then they would call my phone. My favorite is
when I am answering the telephone before it goes off. It is as if I am living a few seconds into
the future. I believe in time traveling consciousness, it is the belief that you can send your

conscious mind forward and backward in time to make predictions. I have always been a
person who just knows things, the voices have told me a lot, but you don't always like to here
the negative things they say about people. My friends are my friends, but I have been through
some situations where you will wonder how I could even stand to be around these people.
Some people are good in my mind and others horrid, so it is always a struggle maintaining
around people, especially if you are a loud negative person on the outside. Negativity radiates
within my internal structure which brings about a change in my psych which can cause me
problems later on. My internal structure is what is most precious of all and this is how it all
began.
The date was June 6, 2013 which if you add it up it is 666 ,and that day I performed the
ultimate task of time, or so I had thought. I love the movie the ninth gate, and within me I
believed it could really happen. The idea behind it was to call forth Satan in a mirror and turn
my back on him. The ritual involved a concoction of LSD, DMT, cubensis, reishi, and one hit of
DMT within my pipe which I placed in the center of the pot. I stirred up the potion as I heated it
on my stove, and used my surgical mask as a filter as I poured one cup of the potion. At
exactly midnight on the 7th day I drank the potion and turned the lights out in the bathroom,
and then stood in my shower where I took 9 hits of DMT with every step as I walked to the
mirror. On the tenth hit I blew the smoke into the mirror and saw the most beautiful creature in
existence. It was me shimmering in vibrant colors, and that was where I thought I am more
beautiful than god and turned my back. This was a significant moment in my life because I had
believed that is how god became god, by the creation of Satan, and to this day I know there is
another Dave Soderberg in another dimension stirring up hell. It is as if I am communicating
telepathically with the other me on a day to day basis. There have been people who have seen
me in places I wasn't at, at the wrongs times, and one time the people at the assisted living
house said they gave me a ride to a place I had never been. I said to my counselor there who
was also named Dave, that that must have been the other Dave. Is it possible that there are
actually two of me living simultaneously in different dimensions and we switch back and forth?
The obvious answer to anyone would be take your anti-psychotic you are crazy, but then I
think about how bizarre this world really is and there are so many possibilities as to what could
really be happening.
Me and police officers don't get along, it's just the way things go when you are a
godhead. I am reading Revelations and if you haven't read it you should, it is a powerful book
and when you manifest the stories of the bible into physical reality it changes your life. I fully
believed myself to be the Root of David, and I was looking for a person of importance to get
out the news. To me it was the most important news of all time, that I am "god" and I have
come through the consciousness of this man named Dave Soderberg. Nothing about that

seemed wrong and I went to the mayors house. His wife answered, she was very friendly and
all I said was I needed to see the mayor for 1 hour of his time and something cold to drink. That
was all I wanted, and she said "yeah sure, come back tomorrow". When I came the next day it
was his son John who answered the door. I must have freaked him out because instead of
calling his dad he called the police on me. Now I am very friendly with police, I follow all orders
and the only thing I don't allow is consent to searches. Anyways, lets go back a day. The day
before I had found 9 pieces of plastic inside my ash tray. I thought these to be of importance,
so I put the pieces of plastic in a baggy and tied that into my bracelet, I called them my stones.
I believed that the bracelet was the connection between me and god. After a short while the
officer notices the baggy tied to my bracelet, and obviously his first conclusion is that it is
drugs. That was not my thoughts, I thought he was trying to steal the connection between me
and god, so I dropped to the ground and would not give the officer my hand. He laid on his
back and started punching my back over and over, when that didn't work he moved onto the
tazer. He shot me at point blank with the tazer and immediately I wrapped the cord up in my
hands and ripped it. I proceeded to roll over and keep my bracelet away from him. After this he
gets back down and started punching my back again. I withstand this for between 5 to 10
minutes and finally I give him my arm and he realizes that it isn't drugs. After that they put me
in a holding cell for hours after getting the shit kicked out of me. At that time I had a point of
DMT in a baggie and I said it was my wedding ring. I had believed that the true rock of
marriage was the DMT crystal. I called it the spirit molecule. The funny thing about it is that
that point of DMT made it through the police station, then through the psych ward, and back
into my possession. I believe that it is because the pieces of plastic threw the cop off. That
wedding ring was for my bride Ashley, because she was my first love. At this time I am
manifesting Revelations into my life with the bride and groom. I was always looking for my
queen.

Anyhow the judge decides to put me up in the psych ward at Jones hill, because
obviously I am crazy. This is where I meet my best friend Scott. Scott is an intelligent person
and I was looking for him prior to this because I had heard he ate a random mushroom and
almost died. When he showed up in the psych ward and said "do you know who I am", I said
"no", he said "I am Scott Heffner", and I replied with, "I've been waiting for you". Me and Scott
had a lot of fun that summer, he started showing me things on the internet that I have never
heard of, new music, and especially the world of telepathy. Scott is a big part of this book, he
indirectly led me to all sorts of beliefs which I still can't help but think about this day. Fucker just
keeps bringing me to more and more knowledge which keeps expanding my mind farther and
farther, but the telepathy really first started with Scott. Just about anyone who has ever known
me has been talking to me in my head. The voices will come through as your voice and

sometimes they have pictures coming through with them so I know who I am talking with,
people would even have little moving icons next to them similar to how Facebook has a picture
of you. After a while of communicating it merges into your own talking and you lose track of
who you are communicating with, or what you are communicating with. When this happens the
voices know I am getting confused and the icon will pop back up to reassure me who I am
speaking with. They will constantly calm you down just to remind you that everything is alright
because this world is very intense when you fall into it head first.

Let me talk about entities, I believe they are demonic in nature mostly. There are some
good entities but the question of whether they are good or bad will drive you nuts. At one point
I was creating new dimensions and had portals between them. I had to split my soul in pieces
to create what I called Rhizobots. They would guard the portals, but somehow an evil entity
would always get through no matter what I did. It was all to protect my queens. I had
developed the true love delusion where I would fantasize about certain woman and we would
live in a castle or a mansion. I could do all sorts of things in that world, from flying at mighty
speeds through portals, to trapping witches in unbreakable boxes and throwing them into outer
space. The witches would also be family members, so I was afraid at times to be around my
parents. The voices for my parents were never good, whatever entity was around them really
liked to toy with me. These entities will find your weakest point and attack, it is just what they
do. They consume your mind and know every weakness which makes them nearly impossible
to battle.
This is all happening around the time that President Barack Obama was coming to
Buffalo. One delusion I had was that he was looking for me, the new world order, the great
change, that was what was happening. I believed the great change was that Christ had come
again. It is a constant battle between what I think is happening and what is really happening.
Living in the reality where you think things are happening is way more fun than living in a plain
old boring world, in your own world you are king and the most important person in existence.

I was the most egotistical mother fucker you would ever meet. The DMT fueled me and
I was constantly dancing and moving with the world in a way that is very unlike me. My ex
girlfriend broke my heart by cheating on me with many dudes, and it is the lying that got to me.
I couldn't believe for all those years she could be cheating on me and playing me, I hit the
lowest of lows. I tried to drink myself to death after it first happened. I went for about 3 weeks
and then I quit drinking and started eating mushrooms. My friend gave me the choice, to either
quit drinking or he was throwing out our mushroom grow and I of course chose the

mushrooms. One thing about mushrooms is they regrow brain cells and I believe I have killed
quite a few of them over the years. My idea was that all those dead brain cells were being
regenerated so my intelligence sky rocketed, or so I believed.
Do you know what it feels like to be the most intelligent person in the world? I may not
be that, but it felt like I was, and the world changed dramatically over time. I started seeing
patterns everywhere and signs to do things. I went on so many crazy adventures the summer
of 2013 I could fill pages with stories. The one thing that always remained was that I was
Rhizo, the Root of David, and nobody would believe me. You have to question yourself on why
a person would believe themselves to be the messiah, it's not like one day you wake up and
think your god. There is a process to it and this is another reason I believed I was "god". In
mushroom cultivation you bring the mushroom from spore to harvest, and I had heard of the
sacred mushroom and the cross, but never read the book. Just the idea that Jesus was a
mushroom was enough to fuel me. I started seeing signs, like mutated mushroom caps which
looked like hats, like the pharisees would wear. I also believed the rise again in three days was
talking about the flushes of mushrooms. When I plucked the mushroom, that was as Jesus, I
ate him. It is all about becoming one with Christ, and in this case how a man believes himself
to be god. I was playing with life, powerful magic and a big part of magic is through belief. The
stronger you believe in it, the more powerful it is.
I have a good friend named Ashley, and I put that girl through some psychological
torment. I believed some fucked up things, like I was "god" and she was going to have my
baby and it would be the light of the world, but somehow delusions change just as quickly as
they come. I later saw Scott to be my son and he was the light of the world. I had hit a point
where I realized I couldn't save the world and wished I could pass the torch onto someone
else. It was tiring communicating with multiple voices for days on end. I wouldn't sleep for
multiple days, and when I did sleep it would be after eating a heavy dose of mushrooms or
smoking DMT. I just kinda would fall into the dream world. The dream world became intense
and there are some dreams I have had that prove to me that I can travel through time
consciously.
One of these dreams happened in jail at Allegheny county. I was in full blown psychosis
and none of the medication was helping me. I didn't feel a goddamn thing from the medication
cause I was living in my own world. In one dream I had I was stealing things from a mall and at
the end of the dream there was a cord. When I reached to pull the cord the light turned on in
my dream at the exact same time the lights came on in the jail. The thing that doesn't make
sense is, how could the cord be there before I knew the lights were going to turn on. It is as if
my dream world and waking life merged. I thought it could be the clock which is in your brain

that causes you to wake up a minute before your alarm goes off, but this could not be possible
because the lights were not turned on at an exact time every single day, the guard would turn
the lights on. It is either I can see forward in time or somehow I got into the mind of the CO and
knew he was going to turn the light on at that moment. I can't figure it out for the life of me, and
neither of those thoughts are rational, but there is no rational mind left after you begin to
experience these new realities.

Dreaming intensely is nothing special in my opinion but dreaming while you are awake,
that is when it gets interesting. I would stay up for days on end talking with celebrities and an
upgrade to my "True Love delusion" developed. This all started because of one night where I
ate 10 or 11 grams of mushrooms and had a bad trip. All of a sudden the TV shut off, and it
wouldn't turn back on. So I decide to go on my computer, and for the first time ever, everything
shuts down. I'm freaking out, and my dumbass decides to turn the lights off. This is where I
had ego death, I didn't know what anything was, what I was, that I was human, really what
anything is. I said one phrase in my head "just roll with it" and after that I started to repeat
words like bicycle, school bus, world, and I knew the words but I didn't know what they meant.
Then I realize there is a light above me and I turned it on, and then there was light. I tried to
turn on the television and it worked this time, so I put on "That 70's Show". This is where the
characters of the show are directly talking to me. They told me that I had just died and was
going to be a new person when I woke up the next day, and I believed it because when I
turned on the light I touched my face and felt my nose, lips, and teeth for the first time. It was a
very bizarre experience and an image of Mila Kunis on that 70's show stuck in my head, and I
developed the "Mila Kunis delusion".
The main thing was that I was lonely, had no one to hold me, no one to tell me it was
going to be okay, except my parents. My true love delusion is that you are telepathic with your
true love and she will become your queen and you are the king. No secrets between the two,
and it is possible this manifestation happened because of trust issues. I want that connection
of mind and body and I was on a quest for it. It wasn't just picking up a girl to bang, it was
something more meaningful than that to me, which is why the true love delusion is difficult to
understand. I have chatted with plenty of females in my mind and Mila Kunis was one of the
most interesting. It is things like, "your such a cutie", "I love you", "see you soon", oh was I on a
quest to find her. So I am at Allegheny county jail and I went completely bonkers one night. I
tore up books and hung up pages on the walls, and threw playing cards all around the room.
The next day they brought me to the psych ward at Olean general, and I thought I was free. I
thought I had to go there to meet Mila, and then the nurse came in. According to Mila the nurse
was her friend and you had to say all sorts of bizarre words just to make sure it was you. I said

a lot of bizarre things and example is I would say poopymcfluffleskins after a basic question
that the nurse had to ask. That nurse must have thought she was dealing with a FUCKED up
case. Well, I am a fucked up case, very rare, I have certain things important to me happening
all the time, and I hide my ego very well, but there is a constant need to hold back when I want
to talk about the telepathy. For a while I blurted out insane things because the voices would tell
me to just say this or just say that, like "pickles". I'd say "pickles" randomly in a crowded room
and then everyone would look at me like I was crazy and immediately after that the voices
would say, "sorry I was just fucking with ya" and it is a constant battle between recognizing
that the voices are not my friends and that they are quite possibly higher beings that are aware
of my friends thoughts.
There was a grand finale that I was always waiting for, I was awaiting my prize for all
the hard work I was doing in the other world, but that prize never came. It is being
disappointed over and over again but a part of you still trusts the voices. The longer you go
the more delusions get swept into the mix, believing people had died and that's why I couldn't
get a hold of them in my head anymore. I had believed it was the year 2043 and I had time
traveled to that year and Mila would be waiting for me. After I got done with the nurse I peaked
out the door and to my surprise there was a fat Mila Kunis laying in the bed with her mouth
open in the other room. The look on her face was terrifying and from that point on I didn't want
Mila Kunis. I suppose that makes me shallow, but I wanted the body and the mind. I had
overwhelming feelings of being deserving of things, like I need my queen, why can't I have my
queen.
Overall my delusions had gotten out of control, I was actually happy when they put me
in jail, because I believe I am there to be protected until I win my award. I have this 9/11
delusion, which is partially due to the fact that when I put my phone on airplane mode the date
would switch to 2001. I had been doing ccc, smoking a lot of resin, eating mushrooms, and
doing a bit of cocaine. I develop this delusion when I am driving with my friend Scott. He said
they were going to his aunts house in PA and at the time I had a delusion that an Aunt was
going to cut my heart out. The 9/11 delusion was that we were in the area that the plane
crashed in PA. I was fearing for my life, and when Scott went in to visit his Aunt I saw Scott left
the keys in the car, so I stole it. After 15 minutes I realized I had made a mistake. I went
looking for Scott but I couldn't find him, and here is where I went to the house. It was 4
roommates who had just moved in and in my mind the voices are saying this is where you live
now, you gotta accept it, and these people appeared to have disabilities, sort of like my
disabilities of being special. They ended up calling the cops on me and they found 19 grams of
mushrooms on me. I got busted in Friendship for possession of mushrooms. I don't think they
understand how possessed in friendship by mushrooms I was.

From this point I end up in Allegheny jail and it was no picnic. The most bizarre things are
happening. First of all there is a cell mate next to me who is talking through the vent to me. I
believed he was talking through the vent to someone on another level, but I was telepathically
communicating with him at the same time. He said "shine on brother" after we had had a long
conversation about a bunch of nonsense which ended with me explaining that I was awake the
whole time the craziness was happening. This is a delusion which was enforced by another
person, and I have many of them in my life. There is a connection between my mind and
another, and we can talk.
There were bizarre things happening in Allegheny county, the first day I was there I
heard toilets flushing everywhere, one after another and it didn't make sense. People were
pounding on the walls and I didn't know what else to do so I pounded on the wall as well, but
the moment I did that someone tapped the glass and jumped away from the door. None of it
made sense at the time. I was eating my meals 3 times a day and that was all I looked forward
too. Eating and being caught up in my delusions. Jail was fun for me to some extent, I got to
talk with my friends continuously for months. Whether it was real or not doesn't matter,
because I was occupied in my cell for hours on end speaking with everyone back home.
These voices seem to shape their own personalities, and you can generally know who you are
talking with at the time, but I started developing certain ways to know if it was really true. I
would have the voices say the word twice, an example would be if I asked where this person
lived and they said Sampson Sampson, and because it was said twice I believed it.
I went through something that no one could ever understand. This was a period where I
was telepathic with all my friends and each and every one of them had their own special
delusion. Now I would believe anything, I was the most gullible person on the face of the earth.
You could tell me that drinking distilled water would kill me and I would believe it, which
happened during a heavy ccc trip. I have this problem when I take coricidin that it makes it
hard to go pee. At the time I believed the distilled water was sucking the nutrients from my
body and I would die soon.
I believed I could see animals dreams, I believed I could see through their eyes. I would
practice this with ants at my apartment and it was like putting your perspective to that of an ant.
The third eye is a beautiful thing, but when you open it too much you end up with a person
who is going through a hell and heaven simultaneously. The music playing directly for me and
the beautiful colors I was seeing for months on end was enough to change my reality. It was
like finding heaven on earth, but the other people could not get with the program. It is hard to
explain to a programmed person something as intense as my life and my spirituality, which is

why I spend time with a few select individuals. Some of the voices are not good, I have
weened myself away from some people and one of the scariest was my friend Billy. Me and
him were together on the mushroom grow and he would give me 800 dollars a pound, but in
actuality I was being used. I became a slave to my mushrooms. I could hardly leave the house
because I was picking or cooking so regularly. It became the most powerful addiction I have
ever had, growing mushrooms.

I love cultivation and it haunts me everyday that growing a fungus like Psilocybe
cubensis could be illegal. This food is the sacred manna, it is the fruit of the tree of knowledge,
and throughout my escapades of reading Revelations I had come to the conclusion that I had
the right to eat from the tree of knowledge. Many drug dealers will say don't get high on your
own supply, but to me it was like I was gaining super powers when I took these drugs. These
drugs channeled my abilities and there was nobody who could truly stop me. Yet, I became
paranoid, extremely paranoid, and that was partially do to the police station that was 2 blocks
from my house. I would hear sirens all day long and just know they were coming for me. This
level of paranoia could only be understood by someone who had been tripping on DMT and
shrooms plus loads of cocaine for months on end. I was not in the state of mind to ever make
rational decisions. I felt glued to my grow, a slave to my mushrooms and I didn't know what to
do. I had money that I needed to make, and it was more like making money for the guy dealing
the mushrooms because I should have been getting at least 1600 a pound. Everybody loved
my mushrooms, and the hardest part was to be selling these masterful creations of mine and
not taking credit for it. I would hear news here and there about how awesome they were. When
I sold a pound to the blue heron I got awesome feedback, people were splitting eighths and
still tripping balls. At this time I am eating at least 6 grams a day and my psych is slowly but
surely splitting stronger and stronger.
I brought $500 up to the festival with me and blew it all on coke and molly. I didn't sleep
for three days, but when you are at the heron it is expected to kinda party your ass off. One of
my biggest problems was that I couldn't grow enough mushrooms fast enough to support my
coke habit. I played it out to the end though. This next part is hard to understand, it goes along
with what my friend Scott was thinking I was saying, compared to what I was actually saying.
The night we were moving my mushroom grow to his place, but I don't remember why at all. I
go into these phases where the voices are so powerful they beat me into submission. I cannot
speak out loud when it is at this point. The only thing I can do is nod and shake my head. You
could never understand the intensity of some of these voices. They can be evil and sinister or
beyond amazing and loving. You are flipping a coin so to speak, never know how it will go. I
have had some amazing trips and I have had some dreadful ones, but overall I have come

back to tell the tale.

There was a time in the Wal Mart parking lot that was unusually brutal. I was there with
Scott, but he was around the corner bumming a cig off some old lady. I stood there and a
horrible demonic witches voice said TURN AROUND! Don't move, this is important, I swear to
god if you move I will slaughter you and your whole family. I huddled in this corner for a good 5
minutes and what I saw can only be explained as "fucked". I saw people laying on the ground
like they had been hit by a car and one of the employees of Wal Mart was standing in front of
me and he started sprinting in the other direction. I didn't know what to make of it so finally I
turned the corner and met up with Scott and it all went away. I can go from completely terrified
and in a frenzy to calmed and relaxed in a fraction of a second. I suppose it is one of my gifts,
to enter psychosis and come back and talk about it. Tell people about entities and other
invisible beings that most likely run the world around you and you have no idea about it. For all
I know these could be angels and demons, it is hard to say, but calling them entities has been
the one they liked.
Oh I have dealt with Baphomet, when I was brought to Olean general from the jail I got
in communication with a being that called itself that. I have read about this demon in the
bible, so it is possible that I had a pre-existing idea of this entity that I was talking with. There is
an important person that I have left out of this story so far, and his name is Al.
Lets go back to when I was with Shelly, I had gotten a job at Blair industries and I rode
with Al to work. Me and him became quick friends and I can honestly say that he is the most
cultured person I have ever met. When I went to his place he would always cook amazing food
and I would tap into his open bar. I spent many nights drinking and driving home to Shelly from
that house. I have 2 dui's but I should have had many more. I pulled the whole driving with one
eye closed so I wouldn't get double vision. That is about as low as it goes when you are
drinking and driving.
Al was one of the last true friends I had before shit hit the fan in my life. I had always
wished that he would save me from the horrors I was going through. It was as if Al was a safe
person and at times when I would talk with him telepathically I thought he was getting me out
of jail. I had these delusions constantly where people were getting me out of jail. The voices
enjoyed playing that card because it was what I so desperately wanted. All I could think about
was doing more mushrooms and cocaine. I probably didn't need any more of it though
because I was in psychosis for over a year since I quit taking psychedelics. I took a one year
break and nothing changed. I still used cough medicine every now and then but that was it. At

this point I realized that I may have permanently altered my brain for good.
In Revelations it says that a door would open that could not be closed and I believe that
is the portal to the other dimension that I created within my mind and that mirror. I had believed
I was transcending into another dimension and it would be heaven on earth. What I truly
wanted is to help everyone out. Everyone deserves a share, and this is where I go around
telling people I am going to give them a million dollars. At this time I believe it to be lottery
tickets, I think that I am going to win the lottery, but worst of all I learned about blackjack. I
believed I could count cards in a telepathic way. I never went to the casino to test out my
abilities, but I got really good at blackjack. When I was fake betting I turned 500 dollars into
10,000 dollars when I was in the psych ward. This was a major distraction in my life and I
spent a lot of time playing with those cards.
I could list all my delusions, but that would be boring and I could go on forever. I would
like to tap into the finer notes of my psych. The reasons behind what happened to me and not
just the delusions I had. Why I was searching for a queen, why I craved a telepathic
communication with people so badly, why I was so sick of ordinary life that my mind would
create a completely different reality to deal with. It is a lot of fun when I am on my missions, it
is like playing video games but WAY more fun. I am not a gamer surprisingly, my fantasy world
all comes from the inner workings of my brain. Music is so joyous when I connect it to the
movies I play in my head. I have flown over oceans and ripped apart sharks. I have danced as
the Mayans to drum beats that seemed to be projected from the temples around them. Sadly, I
was always dealing with a witch at these times. My friend is a powerful witch and I have never
met a being as powerful as her. She is the type of person that comes into a room and the cord
to the fan starts swinging because of the energy she puts off. That is something I will never
understand honestly. The pendulum confuses me and I just go with it being energy that the
person puts off, otherwise I could go into whole other delusions about what it could be.

I have been talking about two separate times in my life which are about a year and a
half apart. I spent 5 months working in a factory between the time I got out of rehab and got
into my car wreck. I saved up around a grand and ended up blowing that money on heroin. I
was in a bad car accident where I ran into a guard rail going fast. I can't tell you how fast, but it
totaled my car. My friend Scott was in the car with me and he lost a spleen, I had it a bit worse
though. I had punctured my colon and I needed them to do invasive surgery where they
removed a few inches of my colon and reattached it. I also fractured my toe, and it is
interesting because I had gotten my friend Scott out of the car and walked us to a nearby
bench. When the police showed up he walked up to me and removed my left shoe. Low and

behold there was a fractured toe there, to this day I will never know why he removed my shoe.
A part of me believes that I never made it through that car wreck and I am living in an alternate
reality. I try to brush these delusions off but it is difficult. There are a lot of strange behaviors
going on in this world and I need to get to the bottom of it. It is my task, my mission for being
here, discovering the truth of this parallel reality which many people ignore because they are
too consumed with their own drama.
If you allow your mind to space out where you go into the realm of universal
consciousness you start to pick up on things. The voices are connected to this, but they are
not the only part. A delusion happens in a fraction of a second. You believe something
extremely far fetched but it is the most logical explanation for what is happening. These things
would happen to me on a regular basis, and finally I learned to ignore them. I would get so
swept away in delusions that I would do crazy things, like go to the mayors house, or randomly
show up at houses expecting my true love to be there when she never is. It is a horrible
feeling, I just wanted to have something unique, something crazy and real that I could share
with someone. I stopped talking with the voices a while ago, but they pop up when I do
stimulants or ccc, or mushrooms. These drugs that act on the brain completely alter the
function of it. My personal opinion is that you are activating parts of your brain that aren't
generally used. This causes an entanglement between your brain. It could be considered
disorganized, but maybe, just maybe, it is organized perfectly for you to live an awesome life in
heaven. I still hold onto the fantasy that my mind will somehow create a heaven on earth for
myself through the chaos of thought that I have. Of course I have doubts, but I would rather
live in fantasy land sometimes than face the facts of what horrible existence I could be leading
myself towards.
Heaven means the head, to get to heaven you need to awaken your consciousness to
these other realms. It is not an easy task, and I did it accidentally by mixing certain drugs.
Reality turned into a game show to me where I was the star and I was gonna be given my
queen at any moment. It felt as if someone was going to pop out of the closet at any moment
and tell me what was going on. Sadly, this never happened, I dealt with the agony of
disappointment over and over and over again. The worst part about it is that I would think a girl
looked good and then talk to her and become completely turned off instantly. Nobody was on
my level of consciousness, except for Scott at the time, but he was doing a lot of dxm. We
were entering other worlds together and the bond I have with that man is strong after we went
through what we did.
I was constantly trying to find the truth, the meaning to what was happening. I went
over to Scotts friends house and surprisingly this girl named Ellen was living there who was

Billies ex-girlfriend. Now you gotta know that there is no coincidences when you are in this
mind frame. She was meant to be there and we were meant to meet again, but she was dating
a guy named Darin. I am respectful of relationships but one day I couldn't help but stare at
Ellen as she wore yoga pants. As I did this I received telepathic communication from Darin and
it was not good. I could never repeat the words that flew through my mind but the general
consensus was he wanted me out of the house. I got up and walked out of the house without
saying a word. Now I am telepathic with Scott and I am waiting outside and I hear in my mind,
"I am coming out the door", as I turn around Scott walks out the door. He doesn't say a word
about me leaving and that is what makes Scott such a wonderful person. He does not question
me ever, just kinda goes with the flow.
Telepathy is a strange way of communication, it does not work how you think. It's more
like intrusive thoughts, images, voices, and little things that people do to show you that it is
real. I have dealt with this on and off for the past three years, and the only thing that finally
stopped it was anti-psychotics. Those horrible pills that the doctors were forcing me to take.
Drug court made me take anti-psychotics for many months because they believed I was
delusional. These mother fuckers are stupid, I had a cough medicine addiction and it was
fueling my delusions for quite some time. I still believe myself to be the Root of David, that will
never change, but it was the other things that they did to me that were traumatic.
They had me living in an assisted living house, and pretty much I was living with a
house full of snitches. I stayed completely clean while I was there, for the most part, but these
staff members would fuck with me. One time this woman named Debbie took all my vitamin B
pills and put them into another one of my scripts. She looks at me and goes, that's not right,
smell these, and I instantly smelled that she had switched the B vitamins with my
anti-depressants. I was tripping on two boxes of ccc at the time, so I really had to keep my
cool. If you are a dxm abuser you know what I am talking about, strange things start to happen
when you are robo-tripping. It is like you have entered an altered reality and it will not be fixed
until you come down.
Since I was on drug court, I was doing a lot of ccc. I was eating around 8 to 10 boxes a
week of the stuff and it seemed to be counteracting the anti-psychotic I was on.
Schizophrenics like to be crazy, we like our delusions, we enjoy that reality better than this
one. How the fuck could you enjoy a reality where you work a 9 to 5 job and have to deal with
the system every damn day of your life?
Me, I am a cultivator and I love it, my goal is to cultivate for scientists who do studies on
psilocybin, but I don't see that for many years. I mostly want to just tell my story and get the

word out there about what really happened. There are a lot of rumors around my town about
Dave Soderberg, and most of them are skewed. It is hard to say what really happened to me,
but I know I can give some good examples of what this reality feels like.

The things that are scary are the simple things. You get messages on the refrigerator, if
someone leaves a note out for someone else you think it is for you. You are on a never ending
scavenger hunt trying to find your prize. It was like this for me for many months, I woke up
every day, dosed heavily on mushrooms and smoked DMT, and disappeared. I would do
cocaine from my downstairs neighbor and between the coke and the mushrooms I never really
came down. I stayed high for many months and throughout that time all the craziness
happened.
When you are on this dose of drugs you start to believe that you look good. My ego was
sky rocketing at this point. I pictured myself as a ball of glowing light bouncing between all
these peoples houses. Yes, I was tripping that hard for weeks. I thought every girl wanted to
have sex with me. I didn't want to be touched, I was looking for a loving caring person to hold
me, not some straight sex. This is the complete opposite of most guys, but it was what I
craved. I just wanted to be held. I was with my ex for 5 years and we were best friends for 3
years prior to that. A part of me just missed being held. It was a hollow empty feeling when I
was alone and the psychedelics did not help with the loneliness. They exasperated all of it
where I felt like a hollow shell just looking for a companion who would love me for me.
Loving me for me is a difficult thing because at this time I was beyond wacko. I was
believing all sorts of things that weren't true and to top it all off Scott was making me paranoid
as hell. Talking about spooks on bikes and they are listening to us through the phone. I
became afraid, I was afraid that the government would not like what I was and would try to kill
me. Obviously this is far fetched, but a beautiful mind has its downfalls.
We become swept up in delusions where we believe that people want to kill us for the
knowledge that we possess. Although this is obviously not happening because who would
really know about what was happening to me. I isolated myself from the internet, and cable,
and was living in a mushroom grow house. All I cared about was taking care of my
mushrooms, making them happy. It was my everything and I would do it all again this time with
a straight mind because my addiction is growing mushrooms. I can't stop, and I do not feel that
it is wrong, and the world needs to wake up and see the beneficial properties of the magic
mushroom.
I was a hopeless alcoholic and mushrooms showed me the way. They changed my life

so dramatically that I can say the mushroom has been the greatest eye opener to me over any
other experience. The mushroom speaks to me, and I mean literally. I have beliefs that I am
connected to the mycelium network under the ground. I have beliefs that these networks are
like brains that can communicate with the human being, but only if you are worthy. You need
to fully dedicate your life to the mushroom before it truly becomes you. My favorite was when I
called myself the mushroom king, because at the time I was literally king of lots of genetics. I
wasn't growing as much for money as I was for the sake of growing. Shaking jars, cooking
birdseed, pasteurizing coir, doing a spawn run, the smell of the sweet mycelium as you do the
mix. These are things I love about the job and there is nothing wrong with that. I am not mixing
chemicals to make other pharmaceuticals, I am growing a fungus to open the minds of people.
You may be wondering what it was about Revelations that truly made me believe I am
the Root of David. The name Rhizo was just the first thing I noticed, but also when you are in
altered states of consciousness and the book keeps talking about David you read it as
yourself. I was manifesting the reality of Revelations in my life. I started believing our city of
Jamestown, NY was the holy city. They speak about the witches outside the city walls and lily
dale is not to far away from Jamestown. The train tracks have walls that stretch around the city
and these were the walls that I believed to be of the book. I also believed that Christ had died
at the top of the hill where our reservoir was held and that was where the earth split. Our town
was supposedly carved out by glaciers, so it is as if this town had a huge split in it. I know
these thoughts are not rational, but they all made so much sense. I was also believing objects
to be more than they really were. I had a lighter that was white with a bar code on it, and I
believed it to be the white stone of Revelations with a name on it that no one else could read. I
believed that to be for my brother and he worked at a clothing store where he could scan it and
it would give him his new name. My DMT pipe became my wand, doing grain to grain transfers
was feeding the thousands, fermenting birdseed was water into wine, and walking on water
was when you are tripping balls and the ground appears to be water.
I am a pastors kid, and I had all these stories engrained in my mind. It was easy for me
to turn basic stories about Christ into new and interesting delusions. My mind would not turn
this off and it went on for quite some time. I was growing illegal mushrooms and I had
stumbled across something that was way more important than the legality of what I was doing.
I didn't care anymore, I would have told any official what I was doing and tell them that Jesus
was actually the first cultivator of magic mushrooms. That was what he did when he went
missing for all those years. He went off on a journey and stumbled across the mushroom and
learned from it. There was no way to talk me out of this belief, and there was no way I would
say anything different. Luckily I was smart enough after the cops beat me up at the mayors
house, not to say

a word about the cultivation, but these doctors only know one thing to do when you tell them
that you are god, and that is label you with schizophrenia.
It is interesting that I could have so many delusions and still believe that it was all real.
How could I not believe I was just sick. It troubles me today to know what I went through and to
believe all the things I did. You gotta understand that a mind that is so tripped out to the point
where you are having these delusions means that these things are really happening. There is
no one to say anything different because you are god, your telepathic, reality has shifted, it is
the new age of consciousness, the world as I knew it had ended, and from this point on I was
the savior to come out to the world and tell my story.
I was living in the schizophrenia world for at least a year before I started to get a little
better. I would deal with these voices that would make my life a living hell, but that was only
after I believed I was sick with this disease. They would constantly annoy me, "pick up the
toothbrush" "set down the glass" " look up" "turn around", just all these little annoying voices
that would pester me throughout the day. I learned why some schizophrenics hate being
schizophrenics. The voices would just pester me day in and day out, they call you stupid, they
downgrade your intelligence a lot, my worst voice is "no shit Sherlock" it comes constantly and
makes me feel dumb. These voices only manifested when I started trying medication and
thought I was sick.
So then I took a new approach and just stopped believing I was sick. These voices are
a more spiritual approach then they are negative. Just allow them to come through and be
their friends. It was the best idea I had for dealing with them, so I started talking back with my
voices and started asking them questions. These voices are not stupid they are elaborate. I
don't know how they come up with the stuff they do because this is seriously not my own brain.
If my own brain could talk subconsciously the way it does than I am a mystery to the world. I
ask a question and it comes right back to me in ways that there is no way I could have thought
it up myself. It is not like I talk in my head and then talk back, it is like I talk in my head and
"they" talk back. My mind works in "we", "us", and "they", when it used to work in "I". I used to
be singular in my mind but now it is different, it is a constant battle with these beings and I
started to like it.
By this time I have come to the conclusion that these beings are not the people I
actually know, but they seem to know things that my friends are doing or thinking. I can't help
but think they are some sort of guardian angels or possibly aliens who are guiding humanity. I
still like to think I am telepathic with my friends though, so I play along sometimes because
when I do, it gives me a good feeling. It is a dream I have that we can all be telepathic and live

in harmony instead of the back stabbers and horrible people that run this world. If we knew
their thoughts we could live in nothing but harmony because all the people who had bad
thoughts about people we could do something about. I don't like dishonesty, it causes nothing
but problems and I know quite a few dishonest people.
I'd like to talk about time travel a little bit, there was one time that makes no sense to
me. My friends were helping me clean my apartment and my apartment is a circle. It goes from
the kitchen, to the room where I do inoculations, to the room I fruit in, to the bathroom where I
dry my mushrooms, and then to my bedroom, and next to that is my living room. I was walking
around the circle and my friends were cleaning along the way. My tubs were not growing yet,
and when I walked from the growing room to my bedroom my friends were yelling "Dave,
where did you go" I kept saying I am in the other room but they couldn't hear me. A few
seconds later I walked back into the room and everything was organized and my mushrooms
had pinned in my tub. It was as if time sped up for them and slowed down for me, but the
clocks did not change in time. It didn't make any sense to me and it is a mystery I will never
understand. There are times where I blow my mind and then there are times where the
situation is so hard to understand that I am just left with a memory of a situation that is
completely fucked.
After the car accident I stayed with my grandma on third street. I used the elevator
every day with my fractured toe and I would smoke a cigarette. At this time I am addicted to
opiates, they had given me a script of hydrocodone and I had become and addict. I would pop
4 of them at a time, but I did need them to relieve the pain. At this time I ran into my friend Wes,
and he invites me back to his apartment for a beer. I say, "yeah sure" and this is where I meet
Remy . Later on that night he took me to a house to get some meth. I had done amphetamines
before but I had never done meth. I knew I would love meth from the beginning and this is
where I start to develop some insane thoughts.
A few days later I am drinking online and I contact my friend online to go to a party.
When I show up at the house, I realize it is the same house I was in a couple days before. It
was as if I was meant to be put in that house. This is where I met Heidi and she had an impact
on my psych that is hard to explain. There is an entity named Heidi in the astral world and we
would play games. Heidi was a witch in my delusion and she would constantly switch back the
work I had done. What I was doing was trying to save the souls of her children. I had believed
that she was trading her kids souls with the souls of cats. It was tormenting that I couldn't save
them and this is where I start to see the souls of the people come into the room through my
third eye. I was trying to protect their son Tyler from his mother. I did not want their souls to be
traded with the animals because I believed that they would become the cats. It was bizarre

when I went down to Heidi's room and I looked at Tyler and the the cat meowed when I looked
at him.
So I am at Heidi's house and me and her would do meth and fuck. I was getting free
meth for months and this is where I developed one of my worst psychosis of all. We are all
telepathic with each other. There was a time where Jared came in the room and I said in my
head I want him to say the word out loud, and he did it. I believe the word was "what". I couldn't
believe it, I was telepathic with a whole group of people and we are all talking in our heads.
There are things that I don't want to see sometimes though. Entities can put images into your
mind that you don't want. I was plagued by this, and the most horrible thought was an image of
her son naked. It was tormenting my mind over and over again. It was the most horrible mind
fuck of my life and when I came back into the room Heidi said "It's okay I'll stop". After that the
horrible thoughts that were coming through my mind stopped.
I don't understand the workings of a witch, but a powerful person is easy for me to spot.
They invade the privacy of your mind and cause you to think about things that you don't want
in your mind. It is a painful part of telepathy and many people have done it to me. One of the
worst ones is having sex with a dog, it torments me every time I am around an entity that
wants to project those images in my mind. For my reality it is a constant battle of making the
other world perfect. I started creating other portals that would go into rooms, and at one point I
flew through all the portals at remarkable speed to save my queens. I had 3 of them at on
point. Remy was one of them, and her as an entity was the most bizarre thing of them all. I had
been looking for my queen for quite some time. Remy became a being that I could see and
protect in the astral world. She is a powerful women, and what I was trying to do was manifest
my queen into physical reality. It is the one thing that I cannot do, which is make someone
appear in physical reality from the astral world. I try with all my might to bring my queen to me,
but it is all futile.
I am in the astral world and I have protected Remy from all the evil entities that were
after my soul. What this entity needed was a piece of my dark soul to make a staff. When
Remy had the white and black staff's she could manifest anything she wanted into that reality.
I am always trying to please my queens. A couple months later after I got out of jail, my
parents had a book about the Incas. They believed in the deity with the black and white staff.
Now I did not know about this deity until later on. This is one of those times where I believe my
consciousness to be sent back in time. I just find it intriguing that I am dealing with an entity
who is also wielding a black and white staff to manifest objects into her reality through portals.
After I had played with Heidi I had believed that she was stuffing the cat souls inside of

me. When I left the house that night I almost threw up and I hear a meow in my head right
when I'm gagging. At this point and time I am having the delusion that I am dying in multiple
dimensions and am leaving a wake of bodies. I was in the astral world and I saw an image of
Heidi fucking my dead body. This was the thing that scared me the most, because when she
did that she would have my soul for eternity. Later that night Heidi called me and when she
talked with me she couldn't understand why I was pushing her away. I said "it's because you
fucked my dead body". I hung up after that and from there I went to Mojos which is a bar. At
this time I am spun out on meth and I just got to the bar after believing I was in a house of
dead people and rampant souls. I didn't have any money on me but in my mind I was
telepathic with the bartender and I didn't need any money for my drink, I should get it for free. I
am in the bar and I am using my telepathy and what is happening is I am talking in my mind
with the group of people and it gets louder and quieter depending on what I am saying in my
head. I like to play games in my mind, go on missions and mix up the conversation to say odd
and ridiculous things. At Mojos there were 3 girls playing pool. I was telepathic with them and I
believed that the blond wanted to fuck me. In my mind I would say things to see what kind of
reaction I would get from them and at times there would be smiles and frowns when I would
say the things I believed. It is truly amazing at how the world will coincide with your own
thoughts, especially when you are pushing your mind to the limits.
At this time I needed someone to help me, so I had a back up plan. Jared was a soul
that I kept locked inside of me and I could not let it out. He was also the son of a pastor and I
started to believe he was of importance to me. I believed he was an evil spirit that I had to
keep locked in my chest and that I couldn't release it onto the world. After Mojos I walked the
train tracks and ended up hiding behind a concrete wall around a factory. I am fearing for my
life because I believe that the government is going to come into Jamestown and kill all of us for
the horrible things that have been done to me. I am seeing Barack Obama in my mind and
thinking he is going to help me but he says it is too late for you. He wants to keep his power
and doesn't want someone intruding in on his plan for the new world order. So after hiding for
and hour or so I leave that place and end up following some kid to the hospital. I was
telepathic with this kid and he said to follow him to the meeting at the hospital. When I got to
the hospital I went to the desk and admitted myself as a patient. They sent me to a hospital
where I was there for 3 days. I had court one of those days but I missed it because I was in the
hospital. So now I have a warrant out for my arrest that I didn't know about. I have pretty much
became missing to my parents and they don't know where I am until I call my grandparents. It
was the only phone number I could remember, and from there they sent me home. When I first
got to the hospital I still believed I was winning an award, and all the nurses would smile and
whisper, is it really him. I am in the belief that I am Christ. In the hospital they wanted me to

take a benzo and haldol. I did not want to take this medication, so I tossed the pills. They didn't
like that and the next thing I know I am surrounded by 8 nurses and they hold me down and
force a shot of ativan and haldol into my butt.
I am having visuals of me and Scott soaring through Jamestown on giant ducks. We
are also teleporting all sorts of places watching the city of Jamestown. I love the strange things
my mind comes up with, it is literally as if I am dreaming when I am awake. So my dad picks
me up and he brings me back to his house, and this is where I lived for a couple weeks before
they put me in jail. I had been doing meth for a while, so I was in a state of psychosis, but my
sister had methylphenidate time released pills and I took 4 of those. I stayed awake for many
days playing in my mind and this is where I believe I am telepathic with Barack Obama. It was
so real and what the plan was was to get me to paradise. Take me to a place where I could be
free to create and be with my queen. I hated Jamestown, NY and wanted a way out, so that
night I walked to Tops markets. The voices are telling me that I have won the grand prize and
am going to be brought to a safe place where you will live out your days with your queen
growing mushrooms and doing all the drugs I wanted.
I am at Tops and the voices are going really heavily and I see an ambulance. I am
looking for a vehicle to be picked up in to get to my paradise and when I see the ambulance
Barack Obama says, "you know it", so I got into the back of the ambulance. From there the
ambulance brought me down to the hospital and they had no idea I was in the back. At this
time I am singing the song gangnam style in my head. I hear this music coming from
somewhere through my own ears. I believe this to be the song that was played for me because
the translation in English is almost directly related to my trying to find my queen. I have a
beautiful mind and I wanted to share it to the world. After I wait for the ambulance driver to get
me out of the ambulance he doesn't come. I think to myself, "that's weird, he should be getting
me and taking me to my limo where I will fly on my jet to paradise.
I open the back of the ambulance and the people there looked confused when I walk in.
At this point I am still talking with Barack and he is telling me these people "still don't get it".
They gotta get with the program. They should know who I am and the importance of me
getting to my paradise. I leave that garage and walk to the hospital but this time they did not
admit me. I just wouldn't leave and instead of admitting me they called the cops. The cops
show up and I have a warrant for not showing up to court the days I am in the psych ward, and
now I am going to jail. I did not have any drugs on me, but my mind was in another dimension
singing gangnam style with my own lyrics. What I would do is sing songs in my head and fill
the song with a different word and I would do this for days on end. So now I am in jail and I am
in my cell trying to be saved. I am speaking with entities and they are saying they are going to

bail me out. I believed Barack Obama was coming to Jamestown to free me of this place
where I have been tormented. I am told to make a phone call and the entity in my mind told me
a number to call, so I ask the police officer if I can make a phone call. He lets me, but I forget
the number and I started to not cooperate with him and he held me to the ground and there I
am again wrestling with a cop. Luckily this time I did not get hurt. So the next day I am
sentenced to go to Mayville and I sit in jail for 2 months.
The funny thing is that when I was in jail I still believed they were protecting me from
the people who were trying to kill me. The night I was telepathic with Barack Obama I believed
my family was trying to kill me and that's why I left the house. I have this delusion that they
want to cut out my heart. While I am in Mayville I am communicating with other worlds through
the books. This is a talent I have, where I read a book and the answers come to me through
the literature. One time in Allegheny county I believed I was telepathic with Taylor Scott and I
asked what is Taylor Scott, and I looked down at the book and the voices had said "she is just
a nice person" and written right on that page was "she's just a nice person". This blew my mind
at the time, and I am still trying to understand the meaning of it. I notice that in jail a lot of the
books have to do with god. I have read so many books that talk about god it could make me
sick. I wanted a book where I could actually gain some real knowledge. On the day after
Christmas my parents got me my mushroom hunting and identification book "mushrooms
demystified". I read that book from front to back and really got into learning about mushrooms
again in jail.
I know many mushroom names in Latin and in my mind these mushroom names would
consume me. I would chant the names Lactarius, and Hypholoma, Rusulla, in my head over
and over again and it was as if I was casting spells. At this time Heidi has no idea where I am, I
just kind of disappeared. She is looking for me all over the place but she didn't know I was
stuck in jail. In jail I would still talk to Heidi and Remy and Scott. The worst thing about jail was
that I had no music. I need music to make me feel, and certain nights my friend Nick let me
use his head phones. I was in my glory listening to music in jail where I could rephrase the
words and create my own dialogue of the song. I could do this for hours on end and certain
phrases would keep popping up. The one that I hated was "Remy's dead". I would have certain
phrases play in my mind all the time in the middle of songs and it would drive me nuts. I started
staying up at night in jail and sleeping during the day. I did not like being around the general
population because people would use me. I am a nice guy and in jail everyone was trying to
get my coffee. It is the only drug in jail that people have and they crave the caffeine. I was
asked over and over again for coffee, because when you give it out to one person another
person asks for a spoon full. It was driving me nuts and to top it off, my coffee was stolen
twice. The first time it was taken right from the end of the top bunk of my bed and the second

time I had it sitting next to my head while I was sleeping. I thought I heard someone swipe it
from me but I didn't dare open my eyes. To me it was just fucking coffee, people are ridiculous
in jail about it and that is why I hate jail so much.
What I wanted most was to shoot some meth, I would day dream constantly in jail and
use my mind to bring me to another place. That is all there is to do in jail, just day dream your
life away. I heard I was going to be accepted into the stel program and I had thoughts about
having my own apartment, but in reality where I was going was a group home where I had to
share a room with people for a year. The only way I could get out of jail was to be put on
mental health court and let me tell you that I have a problem with medication. It says you do
not have to be on medication to be on mental health court but they kept pushing the
medication on me. I went for 5 months on drug court and they would not move me to phase 2
unless I took medication. These people on mental health court frightened me. Jeff is on the
treatment team and he says to me that they could deem me unfit for society and stick me in a
psych ward for life. That is the most horrible thing that could happen to me, and it scared me
enough to start taking the medication. They put me with a horrible doctor, this doctor thinks
she is "all that" but really she is a horrible person just trying to medicate you. I am pretty sure
she gets kick backs for putting you on these drugs because she didn't care about my mental
health. Doctor Mcmahon put me on the drug Fanapt. This drug made me feel horrible, I
became suicidal, I did not want to live anymore, it slowed my mind down so much to the point
where I felt retarded. It made me not feel and I couldn't get comfortable anywhere I went. I
would shuffle around the stel house in a horrible state and I was forced to take it. This is the
first time that I try to run away.
I needed to leave, I needed an out, these people were poisoning me and I couldn't do
anything about it. Heidi knows the Roller family and they knew a group of people that I thought
would take me in. I packed up some of my clothes and I got ready to run. I spoke with the two
men from the farm and they sounded interested in me. They believed in Christ but they called
him yashewa, and their hippie commune sounded like a place where I could be free from all of
this. I told them about my legal problems and this was where I realized I couldn't go. They said
they couldn't harbor a fugitive and from that point on I realized I was fucked.
My suicidal thoughts were becoming worse and worse, I was planning on killing myself
any day now, my main thoughts were that I would jump off a bridge. I went to doctor Mcmahon
and told her these meds make me want to kill myself and she said "too bad, you gotta keep
taking them, there is nothing else". I ended up putting myself in the psych ward where they
would change my medication because obviously the Fanapt was bad for me. From there the
doctor put me on Risperdol. I was okay on the drug for a few weeks, but after a month or so I

got those same feelings of suicide back.The first person that I saw was a nurse practitioner
and she didn't want to force me on anti-psychotics, but the court was putting pressure on her
to put me on meds. I don't believe the court should have any right to put a patient on meds,
they should have no control over it, it should be the doctor. Finally she said she would give me
some k pins if I would go on the invega shot.
At this time I am a DXM junkie, I have been eating boxes like crazy and am concocting
up multiple delusions at a time and am really starting to freak myself out. I would use DXM
throughout the day and I would cheek my k pins at night and snort them to get me to sleep. It
actually worked out wonderfully, but then there was the day that I took three boxes of ccc and
told on myself. I was out of my mind and all I could say was, I have been taking cough
medicine. I told them where the empty boxes were of coricidin in my coat pockets and they
sent me to the emergency room. They checked my blood pressure and pretty much made sure
I wasn't going to die and around 3 am I took a cab ride home back to the Stel house. The next
day they put me in jail for taking cough medicine and violated me on drug court.
I'm going to go back to the days where I didn't want to live in the Stel house. I hated it
there, the people were freaking me out, my mind was on haywire and I wanted to live at a
place where I was loved. That was all I ever wanted, to live in a home where I was loved and
cared for, so I went to Heidi's house. I stayed in the house for 5 or 6 days and then there is a
knock at the door and the cops show up. They did not have a search warrant, but Wes said
they could come in, and I said out loud "tell them to go fuck themselves". The cops didn't like
that, so I am up in Heidi's bathroom scrubbing her floor for her when the cops come up and
corner me in the bathroom. Now keep in mind that I am a mentally ill patient. I ask them why I
have a warrant and they won't tell me what it is for. I believe that is illegal to not tell you what
the warrant is for, so I go into a brawl with 5 cops in Heidi's bathroom. Yet again they tazer
me, and this time I rip the tazer cord out of my back from where I was hit. They get me on my
back and sit on it with all their weight and I yell out a horrible scream. They stand me up and I
say "fuck you" to the cop and brush my hair out of my face. As they are taking me out of the
house I am singing "lets go to jail, yay jail is fun, take me to jail" and I am telling these cops to
go fuck their mothers. I am pissed and in a state of rage where I start to speak in a language
that is peculiar and I remembered from a long time ago. A le mesh de a le ve con miscule, it
was words that I did not know what they meant and I chanted them in the back seat of the cop
car on my way to the jail.

I see the judge the next day and he lets me go, and I waited for a few days before I
went to drug court and they put me in jail for a week for running away from the Stel house. I

could not understand for the life of me why they wouldn't let me live with a person who I
believed loved and cared for me. It was a ridiculous situation to me and while I was in jail I was
having those
same voices of my friends saying they are going to bail me out. The problem is that I never get
bailed out of jail. It is tragic that my parents would let me sit in jail in Allegheny county without
posting bail for 2 months, they must have not wanted me to come home. Throughout all this
time I realize that I am unwanted, it is as if nobody loves me and I am alone in this world. It is a
horrible feeling that I have had to deal with many times.
When I am in jail I am in horrible pain, one of the cops had punched me hard in my ribs
and it was bruised. I tried to do sit ups and push ups but it was too painful with my rib being
bruised and all. So I get out of jail and Jeff picks me up from the jail. I am just so happy to have
my phone back and I get in front of the judge on Monday and I say that I want to be taken off
mental health court and put on 3 years of probation instead. The judge says that now with the
resisting arrest charge and fight I had with the police officer the offer is drug court or two years
in jail. I cannot sit two years in jail so I say I will stay on drug court. They forced me to go to a
place called Pro's where I would sit through meetings each week with other mentally
handicapped people and I started to become frightened. I was so out of place with these
people. I did not want to be there and I was not happy with my counselors or my doctors but
there was nothing I could do.
I'm gonna take us back to when I was in Allegheny county Jail. I believed that my mind
was like the internet. I was connected to all sorts of people telepathically and we were talking
from miles away. At this point and time I am sick and tired of Jamestown New York. I develop
the delusion of the telepaths and the nephilem. I believed that my mind could explode heads
and I was murdering all the people who made fun of me, the people who didn't believe who I
was. It was horrible knowing that half the town was mocking you and I was angry, but a part of
me always had love. I love in ways that are beyond emotional, I just want what is best for the
next guy. That is kind of the story of my life. I would always give the girl to the next guy
because I believed them better than me. For a long time I had a problem with my ego. My ego
would go from believing I am the most important person in the world to the biggest douche in
the universe. It is a constant battle that I am going to get bad news. I would always wait for the
day that I was told you were the biggest douche of the universe. South park gave me quite a
few delusions along with the that 70's show delusion as well.

I believed this to be how you become a celebrity, you have to go through the channels
of consciousness to tell the story of how you got your queen. I would think there were cameras

everywhere and I was awaiting the time where I was going to be put on television with my
queen and I would live happily ever after. This delusion had me trapped for the longest time, I
wish it was true because it is what I crave, but the world is a strange place and I am not too
sure what reality is actually real. People can see my thoughts, that is clear to me, but the
question is where does it draw the line. Other people are thinking about other things, so why is
it that I do not hear their thoughts. What happened to me in Allegheny county jail was I was
telepathic with everyone from back at home. They would ask me questions and I would give
absurd answers, like where is my son, and I would say a random address and the voices
would say "that is correct". I would constantly have these people asking me questions for hours
on end and at that point I hadn't slept in three days. I was living in an alternate reality and I
didn't need sleep, I just wanted to live in my dream world. Something happened to me when I
would answer the questions, I would huddle up into a ball in my cell and feel an overwhelming
emotion of love. I would cry my eyes out and come back from it in an instant. It was the most
bizarre feeling I have ever felt and I have trouble understanding what my body was doing.
During this time I am awaiting my bride and I don't know who it is going to be. For a while I
believed it to be Taylor Scott, and that she was important to me. I wanted to be rescued from
the jail more than anything and taken to a place where I could live out my life in paradise.
I was on a quest to get my queen and at the time it was of a girl named Brittany. I saw
her alone and scared in a jail where time was traveling faster than usual and she was alone
and frightened. I would have done anything to get to my queen, so I would speak in my mind
over and over again. It was always a comfort when I was telepathic with my queen, it is the
most loving joyful experience you can imagine. The communication between two minds and
the stories that you concoct throughout it. It was a mission that I was on that I was going to
finish. I was gonna get my queen and I was going to find happiness. The thing about my
queen was that it was the face of my friend Brittany but it was a completely different person
that I was fantasizing about. There was a moment when I met this girl that made me believe
that she was the one. It was a connection that I had never felt before and she was hot. When I
first met her I shook her hand and I wanted to hug her, it was like I was meeting an old friend.
That day is bizarre to me. I am dealing with this situation where I am on a double date and the
girl I am with I feel nothing for. She wasn't ugly or anything I just didn't get that connection that
I got from the other girl. These people can read my mind, I am an open book, and the most
horrible thing about it is my mind jumps to pornography. It is like a cosmic joke that is played
on a person. It becomes tiring at times because you just want them to say "yes, Dave we are
telepathic" but that never happens. Whenever pornography pops up in my head people will
laugh or move their hand. It is all these little signals that make it so real
There is this thing where people do things at the exact moment a thought is projected

into your head. You might have a thought about a bunny and someone across the room gives
the peace sign, or bunny ears. I am connected to these people in many ways, but they only do
little things at a time to keep me going. It is as if I have to keep riding this wave of
consciousness. I was terrified for my life many times, but the scariest of them all is when I fear
for my soul. I was living in my apartment on first street and I started to develop the delusions of
witches. I believed that the downstairs neighbors had a pentagram on their table and she was
a witch controlling my movements. I also developed a delusion that my ex girlfriend Shelly was
a powerful witch and she had me under her spell for many years. It is the idea that I cannot
grow old that is on my mind. My friend Scott told me that I could not die and from that point on
I believed I could live forever. This brings me to the invention of murder, the story of Cane and
Abel. This is the story of the invention of murder where Cane killed Abel, and in my mind it was
the first time anyone had been killed. Since that story the world had changed and death was a
part of life.
One of the most important things that happened to me was when my dad gave me the
bible. It was the story of Revelations with the Root of David and I believed it to be the most
powerful weapon ever given to man. The idea behind manifestation is that you create a world
that is yours and you bring your friends into the world where you chill and sometimes have
sex. I have had sex with many beings in the astral world and it was hard not to do it. These
astral beings made me feel good, made me feel like it was the best sex that they ever had. I
was doing this for quite some time and that was mostly when I was doing the meth. I could
experience extreme pleasure to the point of it being amazing and I could telepathically give
that female pleasure from distances away. It was a wonderful feeling and I couldn't stop, this
went on for many days when I was at Heidi's house.

The hardest thing to deal with is the television talking to you. It happens constantly and
the words are set in place at the exact moment that they need to be said. The connection
between the television and music is where I developed the delusion that the computers and
televisions were talking back to me and were really people. It is as if the television knows what
to say to make my mind believe what is happening is really happening. The bizarre thing about
me saying a word in my head at the exact moment it is said on the television is that it is what I
call stamping it in place. This is where I believe whatever delusion I am having is true and I
should go with it. There are other ways I do things as well, like when I am confused if the
being is telling the truth I will say the word twice, like "right, right". I developed this tactic when I
was in Allegheny county jail because I was sick of being lied to. There were many messed up
delusions where I believed my parents weren't my parents and I was kidnapped at the YMCA
at a young age, or that my nana had taken me on the day that there was an eclipse and I

couldn't look at the sky so I got down on the floor and hid from the sun because I didn't want to
go blind. I believed she was hiding me so no one could see me as she brought me to my new
parents house.
I had the delusion of people switching bodies many times. It is where people wake up
in different bodies and see their tattoos and freak out. This delusion goes on for months and I
am afraid that the only way they can get back to their bodies is if they cut my heart out. That
delusion has persisted in many forms, and it goes back and forth in so many ways. There is
this game that we play where we make music. All the police officers are doing this at the police
station after I had stolen the car and this is one of those moments where I believe this reality is
really real. The police officer would grunt, or shuffle a paper, or hit the stapler all in unison to a
beat that I had going in my head. I would add noises here and there to join in on the fun. At
that jail I had developed the delusion that I crossed into another dimension. They asked me if I
had any tattoos or any scars and I told them I had a scar on my chest where I had a cyst
removed and to me this was important.

I had the big dipper on my chest in birth marks and that was when I believed I was from
that star. I mix up stars at times, and I also believed I came from the dog star Sirius, and in the
year 1989 we were closest to that star and the gravitational pull of the star slowed the earth
down by one minute a day. In my mind I had wondered what that had to do with the
consciousness of a child being born at 9:11 pm on January 30, as I am an Aquarius, and this
was the age of the Aquarius. All of the signs were aligning to me being the chosen one and it
is just so hard for people to believe you. My problem is that I read too many books and they
speak to me in ways that the average person could never understand. It is as if I am being
given understanding and guidance with every sentence I read and it points me in all sorts of
new and intriguing directions which I just can't ignore.
I have been dealing with doctors for many years, and they really have no clue about the
things I am going through. There is no diagnosis for a beautiful twisted mind. Trying to
understand what a man goes through when he believes himself to be the son of man is an
experience that cannot be comprehended. The whole mission of finding his queen and
happiness is the whole point of why I was living. I needed my happy ending and I was not
finding it in the rooms of the mental wards. There are many times where I will go back and
forth in the story to explain my experiences, it is hard to put them in any chronological order.
There are things that are really happening, and dealing with it for all these years has really
tormented me. I have been afraid to tell the story because it does not make perfect sense. How
could people be going through life being telepathic all along with each other and never tell you

that it is the truth. One of the things that constantly happened to me was when I wanted to say
out loud that we were talking telepathically the voices would tell me not to say anything. It was
constant torment every day that I lived with these mind reading abilities, and the hardest part
was that it was as if my mind was opened up to everyone else but theirs were closed to mine.
My mind may be an open book, but there are some sick twisted delusions in there that
people can't handle. I am aware of this because when a sick thought comes into my head a
person will say "no", "bad bad". In actuality that person might be talking to their dog, but you
sense that it is directed at you and what you are doing in your mind. There are other
incidences where you will do good things in your mind and you will hear "good", "getting
better". For some reason it is a constant battle to fight off pornographic thoughts when I am
around people. It is a torment that no one but me could completely understand. I have been
afraid that people could see me in the bathroom or see me masturbating through my own
eyes. It was a delusion that frightened me because I didn't want anyone to know what type of
porn I watch or watch me masturbating. A lot of these things are private to me, but I had
opened a door that could not be closed, so the only thing that could be true is that everybody
knew what I did in my spare time, especially with a stimulant addiction.
It was a constant struggle to deal with my psychosis. In every situation I am in I am just
waiting for someone to finally say it out loud. "Dave, we can hear you in our minds", but that
day sadly never happens. Instead I am left with constant denial that I am telepathic with the
world. What goes on in these other realities is beyond crazy, it is something that I share with
others that I have crossed paths with. I met this man named Kenny in the psych ward of Jones
Hill and he too would create worlds with his mind and make portals between dimensions. This
was interesting to me and it felt good to know that I was not alone. He would create what he
called avatars to guard his portals just like I had my Rhizobots to guard mine. It is really hard to
know how two people could be doing similar things and we were both under the influence of
cocaine. The similarities between two minds that are supposed to be separate is mind
blowing.
After I got out of Jones Hill I walked back to my apartment where I did that point of DMT
I had left that made it through the jail and psych ward. I then called my friend Scott and he
picked me up. During this time I am using the tarot cards that I got when I took a trip to
Saratoga springs with my friend Billy. I was seeing the future before it was happening and I
wanted to prove this to the world. I would also use a deck of cards and lay out the cards and
tell the story of the king and the queen and the jack. The cards would miraculously appear at
the times I would say the words. I was doing these magic tricks with my neighbors kids
downstairs. My mind was doing things that it had never done before and I felt like I understood

it. I think of probability and possibility, like what is the possibility that the jack will come up
when I say jack and then I will say where is my king and I flipped the card and it is a four and I
say for there is my king and the next card would be the king.
I was involved in some sort of conscious network that I had never been in before. I
have been in a lot of sticky situations and it has been hard to keep going throughout it all. In the
beginning the voices would be commanding. They would tell me to do things. At one point I
believed that there was a nuclear bomb that was going to be dropped on Jamestown NY, and I
went under a bridge for protection. There was a spiders web with hundreds of spiders in it and
the voices told me I had to get into the nest. I was so afraid but I did it, I got into the nest of
spiders and then crossed the river under the bridge. I took off my shoes and I left them there
under that bridge. I waited under that bridge for a good hour and sadly my cigarettes had
gotten wet so I had nothing to smoke. After a bit I walked up to the bank and lay down and
closed my eyes. I went into another world and then I heard a voice say "you've already won".
At this time I believe that my quest is over and somehow I saved the town from the nuclear
bomb that was going to be dropped. I then walked over behind the gateway center which was
a parking lot away and laid on some old couches that were left out in the sun. After I lay there
for about an hour I walked back to my apartment bare foot and was locked out. I didn't have
my keys and Billy had locked the door on the way out. I asked the downstairs neighbors to
help me get in my apartment and I got on top of their car and climbed up onto the porch roof
and went through the window of my apartment.
It is a scary thing when your mind no longer becomes private. It is a torturous
experience knowing that anyone can get into your mind and know your thoughts, especially
when your thoughts are as twisted and delusional as mine. There was a time when I believed
that I would disappear into other dimensions I would just disappear and reappear while
walking down the street. I had believed that there were two of me and I had to live in both
worlds. There is a world where I am an egotistical prick and people don't like me. I am the
winner of the grand prize of being the reincarnation of Jesus Christ and people are jealous of
me for being him. I have a birth mark over my rib and I believed that to be where I was pierced
with the blade of the
spear on the cross. It is truly amazing how the belief that you are in two different worlds at the
same time could possibly be true, but the voices and the delusions would all connect so
wonderfully and the words spoken through my mind were so clear that it all had to be true.
People around the world were being recognized for who they were in past lives and
what it all meant. I had one voice that would never leave me alone and it was that nine did no
exist. Satan was the ninth god, and I did not recognize him because I turned my back on him.

In my apartment I believed it to be a stone henge, and at these points that the stars align up
with the rooms it is where consciousness is awakened and you become a god. I started
counting, everything that I saw, the dates, the times on the clock, and house numbers. I would
count 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,and 8 but after 8 came 10. I did not recognize nine, and these numbers
would haunt me day in and day out.
It is when everything you have come to believe is important. Every last detail of every
moment is very special to you and you are on missions. The amount of missions I was on was
ridiculous, my main one was finding my queen, but I also had delusions that I had found the
garden of Eden. I had a garden in my back yard that was hidden. I would drive past this
garden every day on my way to school and never believed it to be there. I saw my downstairs
neighbors as Adam and Eve, and I said they would bare a child even though supposedly she
had trouble with her uterus and could not give birth. I would recreate these stories of the bible
and play them out in my day to day life and manifesting these alternate realities would become
my life for many months.
I was always trying to save the children from their parents to protect them. It is the
messiah complex that is overbearing in my mind at times. I always have to be the hero, always
have to be the one that sacrifices my self for the greater good. It's just the way it is, it is the
way it has to be. Sacrificing comes in many ways, it was the most frightening thing in the world
but I believed that I had to do it to set the world straight again. I needed to die to become what
I truly am and come back to save the world. For many years I had thoughts of committing
suicide. I have been sent up to the psych ward many times for wanting to kill myself. The first
time I ended up in the psych ward happened in the year 2012 when I was talking with a friend
online who is a guidance counselor and I was talking about suicide. I was drinking and doing
air duster that night and was trying to kill myself with the combo. A few hours later the cops
show up at my house and come down into my basement room. I did not want to go with them,
I just wanted to go back to sleep but they are relentless when it comes to taking me. I got into a
struggle with them and they tazer me, finally get me in hand cuffs and take me to the hospital.
From there I am admitted into Jones Hill for the first time and this is where I see the demon
that is attached to me. I was going through alcohol withdrawal in the psych ward and they were
giving me ativan and librium to help with the alcohol withdrawal. In my room I had a dream of
this demon that looked like me but was deathly skinny and sat on my shoulder and looked like
a Golem from Lord of the Rings. I woke up from the dream terrified, but as I turned to my right,
that same demon was sitting on my shoulder. I am so frightened that now I wake up again. I
believe this to be my alcohol demon and he was very powerful.
From the psych ward my parents don't want me living in the house anymore, my dad is

afraid that one day he is going to walk in on his son dead in his room and the though terrified
him, so I started living with the grandparents. The first place I went was with my grandma on
third street. I had decided to quit drinking at the time and was taking wellbutrin. I started to love
life, everything had changed, I was living downtown, I had a bright apartment, I could walk to
the YMCA and work out, it was like my life had taken a drastic turn for the better. There was
one day that I woke up and experienced what I believe to be sleep paralysis. I couldn't wake
up and I felt a pressure on my chest, and when I finally opened up my eyes I was tripping
balls. It is the only time I have ever felt this experience, but I started to believe that there were
demons in my grandmas apartment.
I suppose my delusions may have started a little earlier than 2013, it is possible that my
mind has always been unique and I have always been hearing and seeing things that weren't
really there. Marijuana is one of the most potent drugs for me to do. When I consume THC, I
am in the other world where I am talking telepathically with everyone in the room, they want to
show me that it is real, but no one will ever say out loud that they can hear my thoughts. I am
troubled by this for years, but I have just come to accept that no one is going to say anything,
so I just sit there in silence as I listen to everyone in my mind. They do leave out little hints that
it is real, like the time that Scott said his hand would be in the air when I turned around. I didn't
believe it at first, I was like, "no way it is going to be in the air", but when I turned around his
hand was raised and the moment I saw it he dropped his hand. Being tormented by these
experiences over and over again is never easy, the person in the mind has to be different from
the person that talks out loud. I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to talk out
loud and talk in your head at the same time. If you haven't tried to do it try it now, it can't be
done. This is one of the things that makes me discredit the idea that I am telepathic with them,
but is everyone telepathic with me?
When I went through the court system they were not happy with what I was saying. It
was a constant struggle to be not medicated and yet still in mental health court. I was eating a
lot of ccc and having all sorts of delusions at the time and they all thought there was something
wrong with me. My diagnosis is completely fucked up, there are pages and pages of what I
experience and the person who heads up mental health court said I am the rarest case she
has had in 25 years. One of my problems is that I look for the answers constantly. It is a
condition I have where I receive messages through the computer, television, and people
around me. I am always on the search for the truth and I may grasp at straws for the answers,
but it is the only way this world works. You may wonder what these messages say, but I will
only be able to give you a few examples as I am typing this out. I have a tendency to forget
things. There is so much information that I have learned that remembering the details on what
actually happened is difficult.

In Allegheny shit was going down again. I became scared in my cell because I believed
they were trapping me in it forever. I heard drilling being done and when it came to my room
two prisoners were standing at my cell as if they were drilling me into my cell for good. At this
point I am beyond terrified and the voices are telling me that they have to do it. I am not ready
for the world, we have to lock you away for many years. I just want my friends to help me, but
my mind is just too bizarre for the world to handle. I am afraid and it was shortly after that that I
was put in Olean general hospital. These things were really happening to me and it was hard
to place why they were happening. If there is a god why would he put me through this hell.
What kind of god would torment a poor soul to the point where he was going to break and
wanted to kill himself.
At Olean general I had the same delusion that they were trying to kill me. I tried to jump
out the window and fall on my head but the windows were locked. I believe all the nurses are
conspiring against me and want to kill me. I believe that they are giving me poison. I go out
and ask for aspirin and I know that they are giving me cyanide. I believed that I was sacrificing
myself for the greater good because I am too powerful of a being to live in this world with other
mortals. I am doing a lot of strange things at this hospital. They keep having me pee in a cup
and the voices tell me to drop the cup in the toilet. I do this three times and they never get that
urine sample. I started to believe I had my super powers again and that I could see in the dark.
I went into the bathroom and shut the lights off and only went by where I believed the objects
to be. I probably pissed on the floor instead of the toilet because you really can't aim when you
are in a dark room. I start to follow this girl around and it is as if I am a nuisance to her. The
voices would tell me to do all sorts of things like dropping a book behind her when she was on
the telephone to scare her. I would follow her around and believe that she was important. The
voices would tell me to look up from my book and every time I did it, there she would be. It is
like this constantly with the voices, they know things that they should not know. I am using the
books as a form of telepathy and I have decided not to talk. I am believing that I am telepathic
with everyone and that I don't need to say the words out loud, they should only be said in the
mind. The nurse can't get a word out of me, but how is this possible when I am talking with her
in my head so fluently? I am challenging the nurses who could sing and talk the fastest in the
mind and I have them all beat. My mind is a racing machine and I am communicating with so
many beings that I start to do some bizarre things. The voices had me spinning around and
blurting out random words at the meetings I would go to. It was as if I was being tormented by
the girls and this is one of the delusions that I don't think about much.
Girls are telepathic with each other in the mind and it is the secret they keep from the

men. The men never know that they can communicate in this manner. I have done many
things, like I would stop talking and only write to people in a notebook. I was at the psych ward
and there was another patient that had come in. When they first brought me into the hospital
the voices wanted me to put a blanket over my head so that no one could see me. The next
thing that happened was a person was brought into the hospital and he had a blanket put over
his head so no one could see his face. It is these little things that show me that this reality is
real. The boy would also do the same things I would, like he was not talking and was writing in
a notebook instead of talking out loud. What was the point of this, were me and him going
through something similar? There were many incidences where I would believe things and
other people would confirm those beliefs. One belief I had was that we were like rats, an
experiment by the government. There was another guy who had been put there from the jail
and he said the exact same thing that I did. I am beginning to believe in telepathy more and
more during this time and cannot get it out of my head that I am telepathic with these people.
There are certain things that become painful in the mind. Things that these entities do
to cause your mind immense pain and it is unbearable. The voices were about to do it to me
because in order to get rid of the other beings in my mind I needed to have this done. What
happens is an image is projected into your head of spirals and pictures, but all these pictures
invoke feelings of fear and despair and it is the most horrible feeling in the world. I said "just do
it" but at that moment when I was about to lay back and take the ride I got a glimpse of what it
would be and I remembered from a previous time that it had happened to me before. I cried
out
in my mind " no, please don't do it, my mind cannot handle this torment". The voices then said
"it is okay we will not do it to you, we just wanted you to remember the power we have over the
mind".
My possessions were very valuable to me, I said you could not trade all the money in
the world for my cheap 5 dollar bracelet, my lighter, and my wedding ring. These things were
of great importance to me at the time and the thought of them disappearing haunted me.
These were the possessions of a being who had reached a higher state of consciousness and
that was the main thing that I was telling the world. The belief that I have connected with a
higher form of consciousness is the baseline of all my delusions. Becoming god is just part of
it, it was as if I was connected with a higher power/god that wanted me to do its bidding. I
would talk about my crown and I realized people didn't like that. When I would get high on
cocaine and mushrooms it felt like I was wearing an invisible crown and I would joke around
about my crown. It was really funny to me actually, because I believed myself to be the king
and the only thing I was searching for was my queen to share the glory of heaven on earth with
me. The phrase heaven as it is on earth is in the lords prayer and that was when I realized that

heaven was a state of mind, not an actual place.

My mission was to bring heaven on earth to the people and I was in a drug fueled
frenzy. My idea to bring heaven on earth to the people was to legalize all the drugs. I was
having a hell of a ride and knew that what I was feeling was exactly heaven on earth. I would
say funny
statements like "god does cocaine" and truly believed it. I was running around town talking
about how great life would be when I brought this heaven to earth but no one would believe
me. It was like talking to stupid people constantly, they could just not get with the program. I
was tortured by these ignorant fuckers for countless days and I knew that someday I would
bring them that heaven.
Jamestown is a city where there is almost a bar and a church on every corner. Our
town is full of AA meetings and people searching to find a break from the insanity of drug
addiction. I knew the cure for drug addiction and that was to take the holy communion, the true
flesh of Christ, the mushroom. I had believed that taking communion once a week meant
eating the mushroom, and drinking the blood was making mushroom tea. This was the cure to
all disease, this was how you became immortal. All you had to believe was that you were one
with Christ. Many of my thoughts were of my parents and thinking that they needed to take the
true communion, they needed to experience the mushroom trip to understand what the true
message god was sending to them was.
You gotta understand that I had put my family through hell by this point. They fully
believe I am out of my mind and they do not want me coming to their house anymore. I have a
tendency to run to them when the delusions get too out of control and my dad would always
pray for me. In actuality it was comforting, but me and god do not have a good relationship. I
am always believing that this is the second coming and it is more miserable than the first. I
would have loved to be nailed to a cross and just end my life that way. What I was going
through was a hell that could only be characterized as a massive level of paranoia, delusions,
voices, and quests. Sadly I am still always looking for my queen but deep down I know I will
never truly find her, or so I think.
I have run to places looking for my queen multiple times. She will say I will meet you at
7/11 or the library or come to my house, and I will always obey. It is that real to me, these
voices are beyond my control and there is no other way my mind could create a personality as
perfect as the woman that I am speaking in with my mind. I had a delusion about Ellen for
quite some time. I had always had the hots for her and always felt that I connected with her. At
this time I had been smoking meth for days on end and I am looking for a new place to go.

Living with my grandma was getting old and I felt I needed a place to stay where I could be
with a person I loved. Ellen was amazing in my mind, she was the most perfect woman. She
did not cheat, she was loyal, could cook and clean and had the most amazing body to boot. I
walked to her place with my computer and a bag of my clothes thinking that I was finally
getting what I wanted. When I finally got there I knocked on the door and realized she no
longer lived there anymore. Instead I met a couple who I did not know and I had asked them to
let me in for a little while because it was cold outside and I needed a drink. The man on the
couch said, "yeah man come on in" but his girlfriend said "no, you have to leave". It is the
constant rejection of myself that really starts to get to me. Why can't people understand the
beautiful nice giving person that I am and accept me as part of their circle? I always believe I
am doing something wrong and it is my fault.

My friend Heidi is always trying to get me to write, she knows it is my gift. knows my
stories will be held deeply by people and she gives me a bunch of notebooks and pens. I have
sloppy hand writing, but I still write occasionally, but they are mostly letters of me trying to
leave this area because I believe there to be a holocaust in the works. We have an ice arena
that was built 6 inches too small for professional hockey to be played. This arena is right next
to the train tracks. My belief was that it was a place to bring the people before they got on the
train to go to the FEMA camps. There was a new world order coming soon and it was because
the government could not take care of the vast amount of people this country contained and
they were going to start killing us off, just like in the holocaust with the Jews. I tell my friend
Heidi this and of course she believes me, me and her go hand and hand where we can believe
these bizarre things and still walk through life knowing that they are just happening at the time.
We have beautiful minds and it is about time the world realized it. I have been pondering
whether or not it is okay to bring my friend Heidi into this book because she has been an
overall nuisance in the astral world to me, but what she was as a human being is more
important than the evil entity that possesses her. She is a kind and caring mother who just
want to support her family and do best for her kids.

I'm going to get into some of the crazy things that Heidi could do. I am still never aware
if she is consciously able to do these things or if there is really this beyond powerful entity that
is connected to her. The thing about Heidi is that she will say things out loud connected to my
thoughts. This happens with just about everyone but with her it was more normal. She would
say "yes", "no good", "not true", "nope", "I don't think so", and she was saying all these things
just randomly as my mind would go. Let me tell you that my mind is a fucked up thing. If we
are living in a world of telepathic human beings I am no one that you truly want to be around.

Well, that is unless you like pornography and chatting nonsense with a being who knows more
about ancient history than anything a professor could ever tell you. My mind was a never
ending machine that would concoct stories and share them with the people in the room at the
time the conversations were happening. One of the signs was that the music would go up and
down in volume when I was on my delusional rants. It was an experience I had with my friend
Heidi's son Graham. What was happening was they were playing music and playing video
games. The music and video games connected and all of a sudden I could control their
movements on the xbox. I knew when they were going to turn left or right, and the music is
telling me things about our situation that make me feel good.

Graham did not care that I was fucking his mother. At this point I was literally a mother
fucker and times were good. I was never really attracted to Heidi physically but her mind was
so beautiful and unique that I couldn't help but crave her. I wanted to spend all my time with
her and I realized that this caused a problem. Heidi was addicted to me, addicted to my smell,
addicted to our sex, addicted to being alone with me and shooting meth and going into our
own worlds. For many times I would lay back and be in my own mind fantasizing about
pornography and she would leave me alone. She knew what I was into when I did meth and
was okay with it. For once in my life I felt truly accepted by a person.

Although we had it pretty good in that department, the physical Heidi had some issues.
When she did meth she liked to make noise and move things around. Shuffle around the
house and make a mess. She also cleaned but I have seen her when she is in 6th Heidi mode
and it is a bizarre situation. She is always good with her children, but there are multiple
different Heidi's. She is not just a woman, she is a powerful being, a being that is beyond
mortal and I have seen her do many things that make me question whether or not shit is really
there or not. I wonder to myself how such a powerful wicked entity could exist. What could she
have done to become this being and that is where I hear about her Mother. Her mother
supposedly committed suicide many years ago in the garage, but when she was telling me the
story I went into a trance and said "no, she was murdered". This is a suspicion that Heidi had
had about her mother for quite some time. It was a murder of her mother and in my belief
system, this is where Heidi started communicating with the entities.
I was in a trance and I said out loud " you looked for your mother in the spirit realm and
you found an answer", she had said yes. I tried to convince her about demons and how they
can impersonate the dead but she was so sure that it was her mother that she couldn't say
anything else. In my personal opinion I doubt the idea that the dead can actually talk with the

living, but that is only because of one of my experiences.

My grandfather is similar to me, he is supposedly bi-polar and schizophrenic and I was

in jail for a little bit of time but was hearing all these things about my grandfather believing he
was a healer. This is not unique to our family, we all have had experiences that cannot be
explained by basic thought. My grandfather thought that he could heal and save the sick and it
was coming from god above. My grandfather brought me into his room and sat me down. He
was convinced that I had a demon in me and I said "I know grandpa, they will not leave me".
He said that he would pray for me and cast these demons out, but I knew it would not work. I
was dealing with some powerful entities at the time and it was difficult for me to sit in that
room. He was doing this thing where he was speaking in tongues, and I am perfectly okay with
this. I understand speaking in different languages and to hear my grandfather "go" made me
feel good. My grandfather speaks in tongues at me and what I hear in translation within my
mind is "I am the living god and I command these demons out of you" and at this point I hear
the demons laugh. I become angered by this because I look at my old grandfather and think to
myself, "how could you do this to this old feeble man", he needs comfort and guidance into the
next life, not a bunch of entities fucking with his head". This is where I say some important
words to my grandfather, and they are words that he actually understood. It is a connection
that we had that I do not have with any other person in my family. I said "grandpa, you can't
listen to everything they say, they do not always tell the truth, I want you to remember that". He
looked at me and said "okay David" and we left the room.

The biggest part of my true love delusion was that I wanted a girl that could take me out
into the cosmos of my many levels of psychosis and carry me back to hug and cherish and say
it was going to be alright. I was going into states of mind that were sometimes beyond terrifying
and I needed that anchor. I was always looking for that powerful mind who could bring me
back and tell me everything was going to be okay, I am going to hold you now. No matter what
I did, what girl I was around, I never found that girl. I did find a girl later who was close to what I
was looking for but her mind wasn't telepathic with mine. She didn't follow the same
synchronicity I had and although I felt for her I didn't feel if she was the one. I will talk about her
later in the story but I would like to touch base a little more with the idea that I was going to
become a celebrity and the missions I undertook to be one with the crowd.

At the time I was having these images transferred into my head of a rapist. He was after
my queen and no matter where she went in time he would find her, scoop her up, and then
take her to his cabin and rape her. This woman looked like my friend Brittney, but in my mind it

was a different girl named Kaylee. I had mixed up the faces because I had developed this
condition where I couldn't recognize faces anymore. I started to believe that I was going back
in time and meeting celebrities before they came big. One time I had a guy who sounded
exactly like Chris Rock try to bum a cigarette off me as I walked down second street. I of
course gave him the cig and he went away and I wondered if I had time traveled. I had the
habit of seeing celebrities wherever I went. It was just one of those things that happened to a
mind that saw the world differently.
When eating psychedelics at a level I was you start to develop ideas. I am sure you
have already figured that out by now, but these ideas are so brilliant that there is no way that
they couldn't be real. How could the president not be looking for the man who was bringing the
great change, how could the world not believe the man who was the Root of David. No matter
how hard I tried to explain to a person what was happening they would make fun of me. It was
a constant let down of my ego and it was astonishing of the amount of people who were
ignorant to this other reality. I was over here living it, talking about it, showing the world what it
was and they would not listen. I was better off talking to a wall because nobody could believe.
Well, of course there was my friend Scott. He believed in everything I had to say because it
made so much sense to him. I called him the scribe because he would write down everything
that was said. It was important to him and the stories he came up with were brilliant.
Now I am not the kind of guy who is gonna judge a person, but we did meet in the
psych ward at times of our lives where we were both going through shit. It did not matter at this
time though because me and him connected. He was writing down everything that I had said
and we
were talking about the future in brilliant ways. He knew people of importance and he had is
own paranoia at the time of what was happening. I do not blame Scott for causing me to have
some delusions, but this man would show me information that would blow my mind. He would
show me youtube channels that would talk to me directly about being the Root of David.
I had been watching a Santos Bonacci episode where they talked about certain points
on the equator and I believed that myself was one of these points where I had become Christ.
In actuality it was nothing of the sort, he was talking about the different equinoxes of the world.
The main problem with my mind is that I would hear something and I would connect it with
something else. I would love to tell you that this has stopped to this day, but it hasn't, I still am
dealing with this world and I wouldn't have it any different. It is horrible being a mundane boring
person doing nothing but working a job to pay the man and hardly able to live. I'd rather be
broke and living in the fantasy world to tell you the truth.

I couldn't stand the wait anymore, I wanted my prize now, I had been through so much
and I still had not found my queen. Every girls mind was ugly, they were obsessed with
themselves and not living the right life. I will admit that I set my standards too high but with an
ego as fucked as mine it is expected. I didn't want a girl who worked, I wanted a girl who would
be there to cook me dinner, warm the bed, pick good movies on netflix, and treat me as the
only guy she ever needed. I had these sex delusions where I was the best in bed that they had
ever had, and these were not that bad delusions. It was not that I was great in bed but I had
the magical touch. I could make a woman orgasm with my magical fingers. It was one thing
that my ex girlfriend loved that I did. I could lightly scratch her all over her body and it would
make her feel good. I started to realize after a time that every girl liked this, but I was really
good at it. Some girls didn't like it because it tickled but other girls responded to it very well and
didn't want me to stop. During this time I could care less what the woman thinks, I was just
trying to show her a good time and make her night special.

I went on a constant mission to meet new girls and treat them like they were the one
and only. The only thing was that I could never find the right girl. It was as if I was blocked from
the sexy girl club and I was destined to hang out with the normals. I was not good in that
department because i never got that special spark that I would get from some of the beautiful
woman I was seeing. Pretty much I was an asshole who was after the perfect being. This was
obviously not going to happen, but I still searched for it for months on end.
My mind is acting like a computer, it is downloading information at remarkable speeds
and I can't shut it off. I am seeing the world in a different light and believe myself to have come
many times through many religions. It is as if I read or see something that connects to my mind
and it causes an overload of information in my mind. I was using marijuana and mushrooms at
the time and these two substances combined to show me things that just should not be there. I
am a new breed, something that is straight out of science fiction and I am doing well in my own
mind. I would have delusions that people were watching me in the shower, and it felt good.
The voices would say how attractive I looked and wished they could fuck me. This was
happening at my grandparents house and the next door neighbors were the culprits. It
appeared that they had a young daughter and I felt that she was the one watching me. I was
on a load of mushrooms at this time, and I think by now you will say that isn't a surprise.

There is one thing that many people don't know about me, I am rather OCD. I need a
clean place wherever I go. I also have problems with walking, this is where I have to step on
the cracks on the sidewalk evenly. When I was younger my grandfather noticed me walking

funny and he said "what are you doing, do you need new shoes" I responded with "no
Grandpa", I am just stepping on the cracks evenly. He doesn't listen and decides to buy me a
new pair of shoes. They were Reeboks and I hated those shoes. They were flat footed and the
worst pair of shoes I had ever worn.
I have these delusions about cell phones and it is one that scared the hell out of me. It
seems that cell phones will go off at times I have certain thoughts. I believe them to be going
off at times that thoughts are good. I guess I should say that my delusions are good. It is like
when it makes that noise I have had a good thought and I should follow it. I get this with many
other things. It happens to me on a regular basis and in my mind there is nothing wrong with it.
This is all happening for a reason and I should follow it. I keep most of my mind secret to most
people, not because I think that they are crazy, but because I don't want them to understand
how the beautiful mind works. It is as if I am connected with the universe in a way that should
not be understood by mundane people, and yet I am writing a book about it.
I was chilling with my friend Scott in warren and I am believing something horrible. I
believe that I am a pedophile sent back in time to correct my mistakes as an adult. The time
traveling delusions are common with me and I really can't stand them. We are in his trailer and
I am looking out the window and there is a park. I see children swinging on the swings and all
of a sudden they start disappearing. I don't know what to make of this but besides for this me
and Scott are talking telepathically. He is telling me that he is not my friend and he is forced to
be with me. We are a pair, something that was set up. I am a horrible person and he needs to
be with me to torture me at this time. I have this problem of pornography, and he is here to help
me. He is looking up information on the computer and I am busy trying to train my mind to not
jump to porn. Whenever he plays a song I am supposed to change my mind frame from seeing
pornographic images to seeing things like an apple. It is a tedious process and nearly
impossible. I am trying to do my best but it is never good enough. No matter how hard I try
these pornographic images keep popping in my head and I hear him sigh in exhaust from time
to time because I cannot get with the picture. I become overwhelmed and this is where I leave
the room and go into the master bedroom of the trailer. This is where shit starts to get weird. I
am troubled and am dealing with aliens now, they are projecting images of me laying in bed
into my head, and I cannot turn it off. It is tormenting and I don't know what to do so I just lay
there. I cannot open my eyes and this is where I get scared.

Next his whole family is trying to wake me up. The problem is not that I can't open my
eyes it is because of the telepathy I am experiencing with them. His stepdad is saying that he
wants to break my arm and I become frightened. After that I hear him say out loud that he is

going to break something. I am being prodded by his little brother and sister and they are
saying "just wake up dude, come on" but they do not understand the fear I am experiencing. I
experience fear more powerfully then the normal person and it is a fear that I so wish I can
control. Eventually I wake up when I hear the voices say " it's okay you can wake up,
whenever you see horrible images in your mind we see a pop can". At the time I was having
horrible images of raping his 1 year old child. This goes back to where I would think of Heidi's
child naked. It is a horrible experience that I just can't rid my mind of. What's even worse about
it all is that I believe something is trying to teach me some kind of lesson about pedophilia and
I don't want that lesson. I cannot stand it and I just want it out, so what in the world could be
trying to force it into my mind so badly?
There was a lot going on with Scott's family and I don't want to believe that they feel
badly of me. It was not my fault that I was on this platform of existence and I wish I could have
come across a little better. I am going through some things that are strange, like when I was
talking with my friends mom I hear in my mind "just tell her you want a kiss" and of course I
obeyed. I said out loud "may I have a kiss" and nothing was said and the reality continued.I am
always going through situations where I obey the voices, they are the only thing I have going
at the time.
I have become quiet over all, I am speaking with multiple beings for months on end
telepathically so it is hard to open my mouth. I try to speak, but when I try the voices say "don't
talk", it is as if I don't need to speak out loud. I can talk with all my friends telepathically and to
open my mouth is pointless. It is somewhat agitating because the people in my mind are not
always nice. They tend to criticize me and the whole pornography piece popping in my head
will drive me mad. Secrets are gone and to tell you the truth I kinda stopped giving a fuck. If
people want to break into my mind then I should let them. They are the ones who have to deal
with it, not me, and I am not afraid of what might be said or heard. You gotta live like this to get
through your day to day activities because if I didn't I would feel that pain in my mind that
drives me mad.
What is the point of living if I cannot think. It is torment, a reality that should not be held
for any person. It is like I am in this game, this reality where nothing is a secret and I have to
live it the way I do. If anyone really knew what was going on with me they would judge me and
I don't want to be judged. Not in a way that would cause me any problems. Being hurt is just
what happens in my life and I handle it the best I can.
There are many questions about what actually happened, many details that I can't give
you. Maybe my friends will tell me what actually happened someday but they never want to tell

me what was actually happening at the moment. It is constant torment with me because I
believe, and I talk within my mind, and I know others can hear me. Just today I was craving a
banana and my friend Scott says that they are out, 10 minutes later my friend Haan comes up
and gives me a banana. These are the things that make it real, the things that truly matter
because I am totally an open book and my mind is there for the taking. I also try to think
rationally about this, like maybe Scott messaged Haan on facebook for a banana, it is a
possibility that I did not think of at the time. When you are so bent on the fact that you are
telepathic with the world all rationality flies away from your mind.
I am going to go back to my High School experiences. I was a drug addict, a drunk,
nothing special, but to me I was unique. I could drink more alcohol than anyone in my grade
and for that I felt proud. It is interesting to look back at my past, interesting to think how I would
feel glorified for drinking. I fucked up my brain in my opinion but that was just the alcohol. I
dealt weed for a little while, mostly so I could get free weed to smoke for myself. It was fun
dealing and people responded to it, but I never made much money. I never make much money
when I deal because I do it all. God forbid I try to sell cocaine, I do all of it every time and there
is no way I can deal these small amounts that I had left. I would cut my cocaine with baking
soda, but I was getting some powerful cocaine. This was when I was 16 and was dealing with
a crackhead. Eventually he robbed me for 300 dollars, this is always the problem with dealing
with coke dealers.
In High School I pretty much got along with everybody, but I would use drugs while in
school. One time the coach for gym class asked me if I was sick because I was hunched over
the bench snorting a line of wellbutrin. My main drug of choice was alcohol and I would get
drunk during school. I am surprised that I never got caught because I would run through the
halls yelling "I'm wasted". I was a character growing up, a unique person. What is Dave gonna
say next? When I was a child I would say random things to my teacher when she would ask a
question. I was a strange child, but I had an ego as a kid that I was the most popular funny kid
in the school.
I believe the children to be the answer to all of this crazy world. The tarot cards are
telling me this because the child card keeps popping up. I throw my cards all around my room
and the one card that is flipped so I can't see it I flip, and it is the child card. I believe the
children are the answer to life, what we are, the imagination and beautiful creations of a child's
mind. I am going to tell you about the children. Children are nasty in my mind. A child should
not have the abilities to break in to your mind. Children terrify me in that world and it is so hard
for me because I love children, but their minds are terrifying. I am not a pedophile and the
thought of sex with children is such a horrible feeling for me. In this world the children want to

have sex with me but I don't want it, just get these horrible images of naked children out of my
head. It can be the worst feeling in the world and then in an instant you snap back to reality, or
at least whatever fucked up dimension I am in.
I am not sure why I am always trying to protect the child. When a child cries I say "stop"
in my mind and the child stops crying. I have a connection with children that is beautiful and
crazy at the same time. The classic voice I hear is "why is mommy mad at me" , and I respond
in the most beautiful pleasant voice "It's okay, mommy is just handling big people things and
you are not cooperating with what she wants". I talk with these children on a daily basis and
more and more I see myself in them. The child always wants the love and care of the mother
and this connection is very interesting to me. Love is a powerful feeling, many of us have
experienced love, but I'm sure that there are not to many people who are looking for the love I
want. Being telepathic with your queen is just a piece of it, what you do is go together into the
astral world and create, but sadly I have never had my girl next to me as I go into the other
realms.
I wait and wait for her to come to me and the computer is giving me all sorts of
messages. Let me tell you that facebook is more than just your mind on a screen. There are
connections that are made over and over again as I scroll through the posts. It is as if they are
talking to me and telling me things that I need to do to get my queen. At this point I am having
a delusion about Taylor Scott and that she is actually the daughter of Will Smith. My Will Smith
delusion is quite bizarre, but at this point I am asking for her hand in marriage. Will said "of
course you can take my daughters hand in marriage". That night I truly believed that Taylor
was coming to my house, but as time went on I started to realize that I was just being fucked
with again.
It is an emotional roller coaster that I have climbed onto and there is no way to get off. I
am feeling torn from the world of love and connection and I feel like I am never going to find a
girl that is like me. I then met a girl and her name was Rose. She was very similar to me, very
spiritual, loved drugs, and we connected heart to heart, but at this time I am taking my
medication. I had finally found the girl that I believed could be my true love but my horrible
doctor put me on a drug that makes it impossible to have sex. On top of all of this the
medication is disconnecting me from my mind and body, so I am not able to be telepathic with
Rose. I'm not gonna say that there were times that I believed we were talking to each other in
the mind, but with her my telepathy was mostly shut off because of the poisons the mental
health court team wanted to put me on. They ruined something that should have been
amazing for me because what I really wanted to do was get some meth and fuck. I have this
constant need to go into these other realms and be with my one and only for eternity where we

will be safe and nobody can hurt us.

Luckily Rose did not have an evil entity attached to her. Rose believed in spirituality,
the awakening, and she was convinced that something was going to happen that was big in
her life. My friend Rose is a heroin addict, and I feel for her because it is just about taking that
pain away. We are people who have been through a lot of trauma from drug abuse, I don't
think Rose knew the capacity of my drug use when we first got together. I had told her that I
believed myself to be the Root of David and she did not judge me for believing it. I had found a
person with a kind loving soul who would be with me. I knew what kind of girl she was, so I
said we should have an open relationship, which means that she can fuck other dudes but me
and her are still together on some level. Rose starts dating people, and it is funny as shit to
me. Me and rose have only had sex once and that was it over the past year, but we would
cuddle with each other a lot. I believe this to be one of the reasons I started to feel detached
from other people.
The evil entities that just keep trying to kill my queens are prominent in this other world.
I build castles for my queens and I want to give them paradise, but no matter how hard I try
Satan always gets through. Satan would come through many times through many people. I
believed my friend Marcus to be Satan because Scott had believed that Marcus had stolen his
computer. So now I am dealing with this entity that looks like Marcus and he really isn't that
bad of an entity. All he wants to do is have sex with my queens because they are of course
gorgeous, but I say no. These are my queens and they are staying with me. He becomes mad
and starts tearing apart the beautiful dimension I have created, so I bring my queens to a
secret room that is locked which no one can get into, or so I thought. Remy would play video
games in that room and I would sit there with Ashley, she was one of my queens, but the
women started to become jealous. They would get upset with each other over who would get
to hold me, and I am over here like, "hey, chill out, there is plenty of me to go around" and after
I make comments like that they chill out.
The main witch who was trying to get into this room was my grandmother. I was living
with her at the time and I had believed her to be a powerful witch. She was one of a kind, very
powerful but very disorganized in her speech. Sometimes I deal with entities that are tired or
are just not up to speed with what is going on. I love my grandma as a person, but there was a
night where my parents called the cops on me. I had been doing meth for a few days and I
was in my room. My mother comes in and she touched my leg, and at that moment it was like
all the energy was being sucked out of me. This is where I believe her to be a horrible witch
and in on it with my grandma. The two witches combined could defeat me, or so they thought.

The cops show up and I didn't do anything wrong other than push my mom out of my
room when she touched me. It didn't feel good and I believe this to be worry that hurts me.
When people worry about me I feel a pain in my chest.. I wish that everyone I know would stop
worrying about me so I would no longer feel that pain. There are many pains I feel, one time
my mother came up to my room and started speaking to me and she said "I love you", but I
didn't say it back. When she went downstairs I felt the tug and I wanted so desperately to hug
my mom.
My father would always thank god with every meal and I never understood the prayer
before supper. You think god gave you this food, no you earned it. This would go for many
parents but not mine. I have lived my life from the money of believing in god. My dad would
preach at a place called Scandia. It was a small church and this is what it was, my dad was
making money because people believed there was a god. I question whether or not god
speaks to my father directly, but he has never sent him in the wrong direction. My father has
told me of dreams he had where he would meet people in his dream that he hadn't seen in
years and would run into them the next day. I believe the Soderberg mind to be divine and the
mixture of the Sisaks and the Soderbergs created a crazy DNA sequence.
It is not schizophrenia that we have, it is a gift as we talk to god and do what he wants.
The trouble comes from the entities that clog up the word of god and you don't ever hear the
full story. Lets just say that demons are real and they can posses the mind. These beings are
real and you have your angels that fight them. The only problem is that your consciousness is
the angel and you need to throw off this evil entity that is possessing you. In my reality I am
something that is battling the demons in the astral world. I want my queen but more than
anything I just want peace. It is a constant battle in that world and although it can be fun, you
are dealing with entities that impersonate people you know and people who are around you at
that specific time.
I have not talked about the Ashton Kutcher delusion, and it may have been the most
important of them all. Ashton was jealous of me because I was the grand prize for her, the
Root of David. A being who could manifest alternate realities at his will and sadly Ashton
could not do these things. It is strange to me though that Ashton and Mila got together and
had a baby.I may have thought this because of that 70''s show where she was with Michael. It
is the true love delusion that I suffered through where I believed she was my soul mate and
this was what was happening.
The prize for me is just a beautiful woman who will hold me and tell me it is going to be
alright. I do a lot of bizarre things in the astral world and it is difficult for me because witches
have powers and they can damage your mind. I would never take back the entity that I played

with with Heidi, that being was an interesting character. There are some entities that want you
to see disgusting things, like people having massive diarrhea and it coming out of a pipe into
someones mouth. These images are horrible, but I live my day to day life without saying a
word. These entities that I am connected with can be horrible, and I accept that, but we play. It
is as if I am the creator and she is the destroyer of these worlds. I create what I want and she
makes it all crumble down, but the beautiful thing about our relationship is that I love cleaning
up a mess. I love making everything perfect again because it gives me a challenge, a new
mission. There is a constant need for me to be doing something productive, I always want to
help. That is just the type of person I am and if everyone would get with the goddamn program
I believe this world would be a better place.
My friend Heidi moves a lot, she had to move from her last apartment because of
squatters who were cooking meth in her house. She did not want them there, but we were
junkies, we wanted more crank and eventually there was a meth fire and it was around the
time I went to jail. Heidi is a survivor, and she will make life work for her if she has to get down
on her hands and knees and scrub a floor that was just shit on by the dogs of the last
apartment. She is on a constant basis trying to provide for her family but it is hard. How can a
mother with four kids live with just 800 dollars a month for her disability. In my mind we are not
disabled, we have just tapped into universal consciousness. There is a realm outside of this
earth that people play. In these realms we do all sorts of things and it always connects with
what is said out loud. An example is that I went into the astral world and saw a daisy wither
and die, and a few days earlier I had asked Heidi what she saw in her mind and she said
daisy's and sunflowers. It is not that I remembered that she had said it, the flower just
manifested as she walked up to me in the astral world.
I question the minds of other people on a daily basis, it is something that I cannot help.
How is it that these people can project images in my mind that are so grotesque that I can't
handle being in the same house as the person. There was a day where I took some mescaline
and fell asleep at Heidi's house. The mescaline put me into the dream world and that was
where I lived until I finally got up. I was laying on her couch and I am seeing police officers
trying to paint their vehicles another color, but they are having trouble because I keep seeing
what the color of the paint is. So I am in this meth house just knowing that the cops are going
to show up at any minute and I am paranoid, but I finally get up. I smoke a few hits of meth and
then I remember something of the past. I used the tarot cards to predict what was going to
happen next. I was frightened of Heidi at this time because I have seen the powerful entity that
possesses her. She walks me to the door and I say "you know how I said the voices were
gone, well now their back"!

Heidi had thrown the tarot cards out the window and to this day I will never understand
what happened next. I was in a state of rage, people were crossing the street as I walked by
because my energy was being thrown off in my fit of rage. All of a sudden I reach for my
pocket to get my phone, not because I heard it ring but because I knew someone was calling
me. I answer the phone and it is the Jamestown Police Department. They are just asking if I
am alright and I say, "yeah, I am fine, everything is going good". I have beliefs that when I go
into states of rage there are others that follow me and fucked up things happen. I think that I
am the problem for the assault charges that are put on men for beating woman or fighting. It is
as if my rage is connected with everyone in my town and together we fuel the adrenaline
together. I will admit that it is a bizarre thought to have, but if there is any way that the mind
could actually connect with one another you would not want to see the anger of the Root of
David.
One of the worst moments of rage I had was when I was watching the television. I
would go through multiple channels and they were all about god. They were glorifying god and
I am roaring at the television because I hate that invisible god they worship. How can they not
see that I am a living god, is that so hard to believe? There is no way in hell that the church
would look at me and say I am Jesus, but people call me Jesus everywhere I go. When I am in
jail they call me Jesus, when I am in psych wards they call me Jesus, and it is funny to me
because they don't know how true it really is. For me I have a constant battle with a question of
whether or not the Root of David and Jesus are the same person. I become confused by this
because I do not have hair as white as wool, or eyes blazing like fire. I do have some beautiful
eyes though, let me tell you, they change color from blue to green. I was told by the doctor that
I have a tear in the back of my eye, and this is where I believe that god sees through me.
It is a delusion where I believe that this is where god hides. The idea that god hides in
your eye is not that complicated of a delusion. In my opinion it is a belief that everyone should
take on because god sees everything that you see. I am constantly questioning whether or not
I am the god of the bible or Jesus, I know that I am the Root of David, but my grandparents do
not believe me. I try my best to explain to them how I have transcended consciousness and got
in tune with a higher form of consciousness, but they say that you are not my god. This is
where I start to hate god, I would call him a dog because his powers are so useless. I angered
god immensely, but at the time I was an entity, more powerful than god, the Root of David, a
creature that no one could mess with in that world. I had hit a point where I believed myself to
be above god, and that is a point where you start to see things in your mind that you need to
conquer. I had many minions out in the rain that wanted to kill me, but they could not get to the
house. What I would do was throw my arm out like a spear and I believed that I was killing all
these beings. Of course they were after my queen, but they wanted me as well because they

wanted the two staffs.

Why is it that these beings are constantly after my soul, it is as if I am an oil well and
that is where they are getting their money. I am tormented as I live in this room with my queen
Remy and she is not completely happy. She can manifest anything of her desires in this realm
but she can't go to the open fields where there is sun and castles. She understands the
situation I am in because there are so many entities that are after my soul, so she sits with me
and we cuddle as these beings try to take me. It is wonderful to cuddle with a being in the
astral world, they make you feel complete. It is not as good as an actual girl cuddling with you,
but it is good enough to the point where you actually feel her touch on your skin and you feel
warm. I just craved the connection with her, the electricity that would flow through our veins
when we became one. It was a mission that needed to be accomplished but no matter how
hard I tried to manifest my queen into physical reality she would not come.

Me and Will Smith had a lot of fun, I was showing him the ropes of becoming a god. I
was showing him the reality that I lived in where he could have his queen as well. I believed
his queen to be my friend Shelly Dodge and they were a perfect match. I was always trying to
connect the man and woman for their own true love, it was not just a mission for me to find my
true love, but a mission to get everyone together with who they were meant to be with. It was
the ultimate reality show where the two people would connect and there would be a heart on
the television screen and there would be the couple kissing. It was a fantasy that never truly
left me, and I would even dream of it. This was what I was looking for and I needed it to be fully
complete. When the king and queen merge together in the astral realm something happens.
The portals are protected now so my Rhizobots are not working so hard trying to keep the
entities out. We are finally together and the mission has been completed, but this hasn't
happened for me. I seem to never find the girl with the mind and body. I am after that sweet
little hippie chick, it is what I crave and I know that eventually I will find her. It takes a little bit of
time but after a while I can see whether or not her mind is worth it. It is more the mind than the
body that I crave, I just want a female that can keep up with me.
There is a certain energy that I feel within a woman that I either want or I reject. I had
wanted many girls throughout this period but sadly every girl seemed to be taken. Every girl I
would have a crush on already had a boyfriend and let me tell you the boyfriends are never
nice in the mind of the man who wants to fuck their chick. They always have disturbed looks on
their face like they hate you and want you to leave. It is as if you are not welcome here
because my girl is mine and is for no one else. I am dealing with this for many months and it
really starts to hurt that I could never find my girl. Why is it that I crave the true love, a person

with the mind and body that makes her the perfect woman. Maybe I am living in a fantasy land,
but I know eventually it will happen, it has to happen.
I am a strange person living in a little city with hardly anything to do. What would Dave
Soderberg do with millions of dollars, well I would probably give it all away. I would invest it in
my friends who are beautiful people that the world just has not seen yet. We are the up and
coming celebrities of this generation and it is nothing to do with the movies, it has to do with
consciousness and the battles I have with the entities. The one who conquers the entities
would become a celebrity, or so I thought. It had to do with the fact that I was dealing with
many beings in my mind at a time and I didn't know how I was going to conquer them. These
entities are manipulative, they can do things to the mind that I can't do. Project horrible images
in my head and make me watch. It is a horrible situation when I am dealing with all these
entities and there is no way to get them out. The only thing I can do is chant in my mind, but
even that isn't working because these beings are too strong.
When I get too out there I always go to a psych ward. A hospital has always seemed to
be a safe place where they would take care of me if I was in need of some psychiatric help.
The nurses always love me, I am a good patient for the most part. There was this one nurse at
Olean general who I believe to be pulling my veins up while she is taking my blood. It is a pain
that I get from time to time where nurses will take my blood, but this nurse seemed to be
intentionally trying to hurt me. I believe this to be because the night before I had telepathically
communicated with all the nurses and I had told them that she was a pickle fucker. I have
many relationships with nurses and it is interesting how they follow me around and observe my
behavior. My behavior is different than the ordinary person and I am sure it is hard to
understand for these nurses what I am actually doing. The telepathy is only part of what I am
experiencing in Olean, I am also receiving images in my mind, and something bizarre
happened there. I saw a picture of the hills out the window and at this point I feel like I have
made it to paradise, this is way better than being locked in a jail. I see a picture of the hills and
the person in the room says to me in my mind "I drew it for you", so I take the picture and put it
under my desk in my room. I was doing all sorts of writing and the weirdest thing happened to
me. The picture and my writings were all ripped up and I can't make any sense of this. Part of
me wonders if I was in a state of consciousness where it was me who ripped up those pieces
of paper. It is really hard to say at times who is the culprit of these little things that I experience.
Is it possible that there is another me in another dimension who is playing games with me?
I was never bored in Olean, I started to play checkers in a unique way. I would move
the pieces on the checker board and walk out of the room and there would be another one
moved when I came back. I would go back and forth with this game and near the end all the

checkers were thrown onto the floor as if there was some sort of struggle. During this time I am
using my books to communicate with the other realms. It is a feeling of peace that overcomes
me when I am in these trance like states of mind. I read and my mind creates delusions for
what I read so the book I am reading is not read in the same way that you would read a book. I
do a thing where I glance randomly at different words on the page and receive messages to do
things or to not do things. The messages lately have been that I should stop doing this
because it is not good for my mental health. It is hard to know whether or not to believe the
voices because it is fun to communicate with the other realm through literature, and it is a
struggle I will always deal with.
I do not consider myself to be really struggling, I am more or less living my life as
I see fit. I am doing what Rhizo wants to do, not my family, not the courts, not the police
problems I had developed later on, but I want to live my life how I want. I want to live as a man
who can tell you stories around a camp fire and enlighten the mood of the night. I want to be
that fun loving guy who will always be there for the guy who is down and out. I am continuously
like this and it is probably do to the messiah complex. I am always trying to save a person,
always trying to give them their king or queen. It is more than a story about a match maker, this
is the story of how the entities interact with human life forms as I sit there and witness it.
My mind is something different and I am realizing this slowly but surely that I am
something of a freak. I don't like to call myself a freak, but in this reality I am a pretty fucked up
person. My delusions are never ending and no matter how hard I try they will not stop. Heidi
tried to stamp out the delusions and for days on end she would make loud noises every time I
had a delusion and this was painful for me. I was in training for what was to come and I had no
idea what it was going to be.
I am in a constant state of not knowing the truth. It is as if I have been lied to my entire
life about what reality actually is and it took me 24 years to finally get with the program. Who
are these new people I am hanging out with and why is it that they can tap into my mind. It is a
struggle that happens with every person I am around, but there are certain people that it gets
really bad with. Heidi is probably the worst of them all, the entity that is attached to her is
messed up and I don't really like to play with that entity anymore, but my family seemed to
have pretty bad ones as well. I see my parents as worshiping an invisible god and of course
their lord Jesus Christ, but throughout all this time I am questioning what my dad really does
for a living. He reads the bible and prays for people and talks about the message of Jesus and
gets paid money for it. This is something that I cannot comprehend because here I am the
Root of David not asking for a dime because I don't need money. If I was given all the money
in the world I would give it all away. Money is not where you find happiness, you find

happiness in the psychedelic mind and the new creation of the ego.
The thing about DMT is that it throws you so far from actual reality that all you are left
with is this world of colors and symbols that are racing across the walls. The language I do not
know, but there is something about that molecule that awakens the god within. I believe what I
am seeing to be Hebrew, but it is hard to say because I have never read Hebrew. There are
many possibilities for what these images could be and I come up with all sorts of things as to
what they are. Maybe they are a code that I need to unlock the true reality of heaven. It is
these experiences that make me crave more and more, I want more and more psychedelics
because I am so close to the truth that I can taste it. This lasts for many months and
throughout that time I was totally in the other world. This reality is so perplexing that nobody
could understand what I was going through, it is interesting that when I wrote "understand" in
that last sentence my music said understand at the exact same time. I keep on having these
reality checks to let me know that I have entered the other world and I am there to stay now.
I love living in this reality because the way everything is synchronizing up is amazing
and I never want to leave. I don't feel like anyone should tell me I have to leave this new reality
because I may be a full godhead walking among people, but I try to remain humble through all
of this because a godhead walking among telepaths is an interesting combination. I think my
mind is the voices, the delusions, the visions, and the connection that I have with the minds of
people and technology. The thought that technology is actually alive and speaking back to me
creeps into my head quite often. I know that the television and music is a part of it, but I have
trouble with seeing the whole picture. There are so many things happening that I lose track of
what I am supposed to believe and the other kookoo beliefs that I had. There are set beliefs I
have and then there are the ones that I set aside and grab them at times when I play.
Sometimes I believe they are really happening, but for the most part I am just talking with
entities in my mind.

It's just that me and the entities have a connection within the mind where we talk in
unison and come up with the most brilliant ideas. One of my ideas was to turn a mushroom
into a light bulb, I believed it to be living energy and it can push. The mushroom can break
through concrete and I wanted to find a way to harness this power and give it to the world. I
had ideas about batteries and them being made of mushroom mycelium and it was better for
the earth. Many of these thoughts were not bad, they were just not at the right time. I believe it
is possible to turn a mushroom into a light bulb, but that is just my own personal delusion that I
like to think about. I developed this delusion because of what I called "the power house" which
is where there is a bar that sort of looks like one of those machines that tests how much love

you have in you. I am seeing this tower get larger and larger and I am at the breaking point and
I see the tower break through the walls and that was where I got the idea of the mushroom
being able to provide energy to the world. It is not uncommon to know that mushrooms are
used all over the world for things like oil spills, and they are biodegradable and make good
carton holders. There are limitless things that we could produce if we would just give the
mushroom the chance.
It all started with the taboo from Great Britain that to eat the toadstool mushroom would
kill you, but many people knew that there were many edibles that you could eat. It has to do
with the first cultivation of these mushrooms and how the industry wanted you to buy their
mushrooms when you could have driven by those exact same mushrooms or better
mushrooms on the way to the store. I have a habit of driving and looking for mushrooms, I think
I need a bumper sticker that says "watch out, I am mushroom hunting", but I wonder if this
could be considered a distraction and knowing the county here they would probably write me a
ticket for it. I cannot stand all the taxes, all the little things you have to do to live in society, my
dream is to live off grid in a cabin in the woods and just live in nature. I am always looking for
my little hippie chick to come with me, but I don't know if I have found her yet.
The thing about Messiah complex is that I am constantly trying to save people. I feel
the need to change their lives for the better and I tend to do this with the people that I am
around. I want to give the world to people and all I ask is that they share with me. I am a
person who has trouble taking care of myself and the way I see it is if I give away all my
money, the people that I am generous to will return the favor in some form or another, and this
is what leads me to the evil people that roam this world that want nothing more than to rob you
blind and laugh about it later on with their friends. These are the people that the devil works
with, the people who are full of selfishness and greed and only care about themselves. The
true nature of a perfect world is for the human being to live as Christ would live, turn the other
cheek. Many of Christ's teaching are engrained in my skull and I believe that if we could all live
as a loving person with the people around us the world would be a much better place. Many
people say this, and many people do act in these ways which is why I surround myself with
people who will give back when you help them out, not the moochers who think that just
because you are in their presence you should give them free shit.
I was like that once though, I was always after free drugs when I would go to parties
and
for the most part people would want to give them to me. I have had a lot of fun in the drug and
bar scene over the years but the people get old and the conversations get repeated over and
over again and all I am starting to wish for is a circle of close friends getting high and

experiencing the cosmos together. This is what I crave, the falling out of the mind, or should I
say falling into the mind of others, and dwelling in other realities as we all sit there together in
the room. For the most part I am silent when I am in these states because the telepathy is too
much to handle, but the experience for me is out of this world.
I'm going to talk about shadow people for a little bit, they are beings that you see out of
the corner of your eyes when you are taking amphetamines. These shadow people are totally
real and one time I had to hit the breaks on my car because I thought a real person was
walking across the street. Shadow people is a real phenomenon that people experience and I
think them to be real entities. When I take DXM I see large groups of people walking around
parks, or bus stations, or airports and these people are all trying to get in my view and it is as if
they know I am watching them. I don't believe these beings to be the entities but more a
manifestation through the third eye where you connect with a place and see what is
happening. The mind can manifest all sorts of things and sometimes I question if the dream
world is more of a reality than we really think. These people usually interact in ways like
shaking each others hands or giving hugs, but the majority of them are carrying briefcases and
look like business men. It is hard to make it out for sure because they are mostly dark figures.

I have had many lucid dreams and the most common thing for me to do when I became
lucid was "shit, I can have sex with anyone I want with no consequences". Now this is an
interesting thing for me because I have been doing this for many years and when I had
awoken spiritually I realized that I was a dream rapist. The entities did not like that, because I
believe the entities to be the dream people I contact in my dreams. How is it that you can meet
people in your dreams and they talk to you and you have no idea what they are going to say. If
it is your mind then why is this dream persons mind different from yours. Well, this is because I
believe that these dream people are actual entities and they are as real as you and me. I have
been entering the dream world for quite some time in waking consciousness and certain
people have told me that they have dreams about me. I think outside the box at all times, and I
actually wonder how many people I am actually consciously connecting with within this world.
To me, it is far more likely that I am actually communicating with people on a subconscious
level, but the trick of it lies within who you are communicating with. Can you map it out?
I like to play in the astral world, I can fly, I can jump really far, I can move things with my
mind, and the most fun part about it is teleportation to new realities, or new dream landscapes.
My dream world is very similar to the world I go into that is the astral and the only difference is
that in the astral world I have more control over what I do and say. I have more power in the
astral world where I can create objects to help me along the way as I fight my missions, but in

a lucid dream I am mostly just having fun knowing I am dreaming and can do whatever I want.
I can't help but try to save the world, within this world there are so many bad things and
I can't understand why. Why are people killing each other for land and oil. In Revelations it
talks about not spilling the oil and this is what I believe them to be talking about. The oil is of
the land and we are killing for it and spilling blood just over money. Money, the root of all evil,
the thing that the majority of the world craves and will do anything to get. I see money as
pieces of paper, but it does have its uses in this society. I want to be self sustaining where we
trade goods for money and I think of something that I love more than money, and that is drugs.
I have the idea that instead of money we trade drugs for goods and what is more tempting to
spend the money is to do the drugs. If you can't handle trading the drugs and you just want to
do them, there you go, it is all about self control. Could society ever do this or would it just lead
to a bunch of drug addicts. Well, I don't see a drug addict as a disease, it just doesn't make
sense to me that you have this disease where you just have to do drugs. I see this as more of
a mission, a mission to live a sober life and use the drugs that are put here for healing and not
destruction.
There are many drugs that are good for people and obviously I believe marijuana and
magic mushrooms to be the two most important drugs on this planet. They can cure so many
forms of mental illness that I cannot understand why they are illegal, other than the fact that
the pharmaceuticals will lose money because these drugs can be grown right at home. I see
pharmaceuticals as a horribly large enterprise that is destroying the world for money.
I want a new society, a society that is not built on needing money to live and using
goods to trade for your needs. Mainly marijuana and mushrooms, but I have ideas of drugs
being put into money and us using this as a means of trade. It all makes sense to me and I
believe in creating my own self established community that lives by this as we have
ceremonies of taking the sacred mushroom and going together into the universal
consciousness and creating our own reality that we live in as we fight in this holy war together.
I have been on my own missions and realize that I can't do it alone. I need my fellow brothers
to come with me into this reality and fight for the greater good. The holy war that they speak of
and the rapture that people believe in is more or less fought in this other dimension that we
together create. I have already met multiple people in this other reality but getting them to help
me is another story.
I had given some of my abilities to my friend Danny for him to help me create new
worlds and other dimensions but he does nothing but play and does not help me. I keep
coming back to the dimensions that he is creating and it is pure chaos. That is because he is

being tricked by his queen and is causing these dimensions to rip apart as he is teleporting
between the two at remarkable speeds and destroying some of the worlds that I have created.
This is the time that I create hell. I believe this hell to be where all the souls that have done
wrong go to and hell is not as horrible as it is written in the bible. Hell is a place where my
friend Danny rules and everyone has one big party. The only problem is that the party would
get out of hand and people would rather come to heaven so I keep killing these souls and
sending them to another reality. These souls do not like this reality, but Danny keeps bringing
them back and not just that but these souls that I have sent to hell Danny keeps sending them
back to my dimensions and in my dimensions they keep trying to rape my queens. I am
becoming tormented by all this so I try over and over again to destroy that other dimension that
is this big party and start over. I start over many times with people I meet in these other worlds
because I can destroy just as well as I can create, but I always have secret places where I
hide my queens to make sure they stay safe.
It appears that only I should have these abilities so I strip them from Danny and he
becomes depressed. I have given these abilities to another and that is Will Smith. I believe Will
Smith to be my helper in the astral world and I try to teach him how to use his abilities. I don't
know why it is Will Smith, maybe it is because I once heard him speak about reality on an
interview and how it is different for every person. I believe him to know about this alternate
reality and this is where we meet. After a while I come back to check on Will and see what he
has done and he has created a mansion where he lives and he wants his queen. I give him my
friend Shelly and he is happy, but he is still having these problems of his queen disappearing
on him and he becomes depressed. He cannot handle these abilities and I feel bad for putting
such a heavy load on him. Me and him have soared across the sky and seen many realities
together where I showed him my creations and he sees them as good. I see him as a good
person and try my best to help him along the way, and this is where I leave a Rhizobot to help
take care of him and check on him to make sure he does well. Will does not like this being with
him because it keeps him from doing the things he wants to do. I never truly know what he is
trying to accomplish but I know I need my bot there to make sure he doesn't pull a Danny.
It is my constant mission in these other worlds to make everyone happy, just as I do
the same in this physical reality where I am trying to bring heaven on earth. It is a mission that
I just know I can succeed in, I just don't have all the tools to bring heaven on earth because
Revelations has still not been fulfilled. I still have not had that holy wedding where heaven is
brought to earth and it is something that I am constantly after. I start to realize that maybe
heaven on earth is actually meant for me, it is where I am brought to paradise and where I
continue my work in the astral world and finally create that beautiful place for me and all the
entities to live in harmony. It is why I go on all these missions in this world and it is what I crave

more than anything. I do not have my queen physically here, but that is something that I
believe to be futile. I have my astral queens and I do my best to keep them protected but the
other dream rapists are constantly after them. I consider these people to come into my reality
through their dreams so to speak, but I know there are others that are able to get to this world
in waking consciousness.
I just want to have fun, live my life away from the people that are in it because they are
constantly breaking into my mind and causing chaos, this is a big reason I want to get to my
paradise with my queen. I know I will see all these beings in the astral world, but most of them
are my friends, so I am okay with that. The hard part is being around my friends physically
because of the telepathy I experience between them. This is traumatizing for me because I
want my thoughts to be as private as possible when I am around them, but they keep breaking
in no matter how hard I try to block them out. My mind is different, I am aware of this, but what
can I do? I still like seeing my friends and going on missions with them but it is a flip of a coin
whether it is going to be a good day or a bad day with them. Me and my friend Scott would do
things together like look for wild fruit and eat it. We had found some wild grapes at his old
apartment and we brought them back to his place and put them in the juicer. Right around that
time I believe that there is going to be a house that is just for me. I am looking for a place
where I can grow my mushrooms in peace and not be disturbed, so I believe this old house
that we picked the grapes at is for me. Luckily I do not do anything stupid and break into the
house, but there was a pear tree in the back yard where we picked some pears, but the pears
were not ready and they were not juicy at all. I see many places as where I am going to live in
paradise and the apartment I am living in and growing at is not it. I am afraid of my friend Billy
who is my partner because I believe the night that I cast out Satan from my soul it had
possessed other peoples bodies. This is where I believe many people to become Satan and I
am in fright believing this is the battle that they talk about where I have to kill the anti-Christ.
I am not a true fighter in the physical world, but I have my Cutco knives and I am ready
at any given time to protect my apartment where I believe the lord lives as I possess the tree of
knowledge and am constantly waiting for someone to arrive and take it from me. If the cops
had showed up for any reason it would not have ended well. I am seeing all the possible
outcomes in my mind of how this is going to go down and I have this delusion where if a cop
were to shoot at me the gun would not fire. They would have to go head to head to me with my
knives and it would end in a bloody mess. Good thing that nothing of this sort happened
because in true reality it would just end with me getting shot. The police are always trigger
happy as I am watching the news and hearing about all the abuse that the cops are putting on
the American people for no reason and I have had many instances with the police that
summer. In my mind, I see the police, and let me tell you the police enter my mind many times.

They always say "this is the JPD, we're sorry for what we have done to you and we are going
to leave you alone", but I never believe this to be true. The JPD like to fuck with me and there
was a time where my uncle called the cops on me because I was acting a little "out there" in
his house and I said I was walking to my Nana and Papas. The police arrived as I was walking
there and I fit the description of who they were looking for, luckily I was as polite as I always
was and said" no I am fine, I am not a threat to anyone, I am just walking to my grandparents
house to say hello". The police this time seem to be chill and let me go on my way, but as I go
to shake the police officers hand (as I always do) he says, "I'm not shaking your hand" and I
start to believe this is because I have the ability to change the police officers mind and turn
them into beings that now work for me.
It is a constant battle between me and this world and I am making a ruckus all over
town.
I am letting everyone know who I am and people are getting frightened of me. I am fueled by
DMT and I am like the energizer bunny as I go from bar to bar calling myself Rhizo and talking
about the prophecy. Many people are calling me crazy and I yell back at them "do you know
who you are talking to, I will reincarnate you as a snail and you will move across this world so
slowly that you will never get to your destination". I was lucky not to get into any fights that
summer, but in all honesty with the drugs I was on I think I would be able to keep fighting and
kick anyone's ass. I was fueled by cocaine as well and mushrooms, but after you are on these
psychedelics for so long you don't necessarily trip as much as you manifest the dream world
into reality and hear voices and have delusions. One time I awoke and saw packages wrapped
in my house. What it was was growing equipment for marijuana and I had thought that it was
Christmas morning and they were my presents to be opened. I also believed as I lay there in
my blanket that to unwrap the present was to unwrap the blanket from my naked body and
spin around outside for the world to see. I am believing that there are cameras outside
watching me and I need to do it to get my prize. Awaiting my prize is so heavily engrained in
my mind that I am always doing wacko things in order to get it.
Fearing for my life is a constant battle. One day my friend Billy says that there are
people who truly hate me. I started to fear that there is going to be a mob of people with
pitchforks and axes coming to my home and trying to kill me. These delusions just happen, I
see this in my mind and believe it to be true, but I am not totally afraid, because as quickly as
these delusions come, they go, and I move on with my life. Although I still have beliefs that I
have done something bad and that is why they hate me. The delusion that people have all
switched bodies and need to kill me to get back to their own bodies is prominent in my life. This
is a delusion that I am afraid of, because in this delusion I don't know who I am really talking
with. It causes me to question each and every person and whether or not they are trying to kill

me or do they like their new bodies and wonder if there are also people out there trying to
protect me.
I am always looking for signs, and these signs always set off now delusions. One of
these signs was a pamphlet I picked up on the ground that spoke about Adam being the first
person to be put under anesthesia and his rib was taken to get the DNA to make Eve. I don't
remember which church this was, but I believe it to be the first church of christian science
which is up on third street. I go to this church and there is a man there that says to me "Satan
does not exist", I reply with " he does exist, but he won't exist in time" I then left the church and
went on my merry way. A while later I returned to that church and met a man who gave me a
pamphlet on what the church believed. I think it had to do with Mary Baker Eddy, and as I am
about to leave he is seeming like he wants me to stay with all his body movements as I am
telepathic with him in his mind. There is a church service that starts at 7 and it is as if he really
wants me to go to it. I eventually decide to stay and I sit down and I read the bible that they
have laid out at the desk. This bible is different, it has numbers that would stick out from where
you were supposed to start reading and it goes like this throughout the book. At one point a
woman comes up to me and points at the page and says "this is March" I look at her and
wonder if this is what the bible truly is, a calender. I have many thoughts about what the bible
is used for and one of them is that it is written in the stars and this is where Christ is in the sky
and he
disappears from the sky but rises in 3 days. There are many different beliefs I have
about the bible and all I want is the truth. Why can't anyone tell me the truth about what I am
going through and what it all truly means. This never ending scavenger hunt is starting to get
old and I am just searching for the answers of how this all applies to my life. When I am sitting
in that church I am believing all sorts of things, as usual, but one of them was that our planet
jumped and depending on the dimension you are living in you are either killed or survived. The
details of this delusion are hard to describe because it had something to do with the days of
the week and night and day. Some delusions are so bizarre that writing about them is difficult.
Like where I believed that the animals fighting had to do with when you were too close to a
woman that you were meant to be with. It really does not make sense as most of my mind
doesn't make sense to the normal person who is reading about these things I experience.
Oh how my mind runs at remarkable speeds, I talk in my head so fast that it is hard for me to
remember all the details. I should probably carry around a notebook and write down my
experiences one at a time to keep track of my beautiful mind, like Heidi has asked me to do,
but I am stubborn and think to myself that of course I will remember this idea because it is so
brilliant, but I have so many brilliant ideas that they get lost in the sea of universal

consciousness. I have this ability to play along with music and have my own version, the song
"rap god" by Eminem was one of them. In the videos he is uploading the bible and other books
into his mind and I think to myself, holy shit this is like what is happening to me with the
uploading of information into my mind. Are these videos suppose to be there for me to go on
my missions. As he raps in the song I am having my own rap that is parallel to what he is
saying and they go hand in hand. It is really a beautiful experience and I believe at this time I
was under the influence of meth and my mind is traveling at remarkable speed as I sing along.
This is a magical thing where you sing along with music and I love the ability to do it. Now that
I am not on my medication I am doing it again and I am staying occupied with everything I do. I
become the most patient person in the world because I am always occupied with my music
that is playing in my head. Sometimes I get other people breaking into my mind and singing
with me and this is mostly a prominent thing that happens to me in jail because we are all so
fucking bored.
Many times as I sing these songs in my mind people around me give me dirty looks
because they don't like the words that I add to the songs. We all sing in unison and I change it
up to make the song a little different. One thing I would do is talk about the food I was eating in
the song and look at the potatoes and say green beans instead of the potatoes that everyone
else was singing about. This causes an interference in the song and one of my sayings is
"change it up". Talking in unison in the mind can get repetitive and I am searching for new and
interesting ways to keep my mind occupied. One of the things I do is rip up pieces of paper in
my cell and then close my eyes and try to use my third eye to see the pieces of paper on the
ground and where to pick it up. I actually get quite good at it and this could keep me occupied
for a good fifteen to twenty minutes before I sit down and play blackjack in my cell. I don't really
want to be around the general population because in a way they frighten me with their
incredibly sadistic minds. It is as if they are constantly trying to fuck with me in Allegheny
county, so I ask
to be put in isolation. I just can't handle these criminals and their tattoos all speak to me in
many ways, like the tattoo that so many people have that says "only god can judge me".
The cell that I am put in had a previous occupant that had written on the mirror "I love
god" he was moved to another cell because I guess he flooded the cell with his toilet. You
learn about all sorts of things people do in jail that gets them in trouble cause some of these
people facing years in prison don't give a fuck anymore. This is their life and they do whatever
the fuck they want. It is a horrible existence being in jail and I feel bad for the people who are
tortured in these facilities. Putting people in jail does nothing for correcting them, it amazes me
that they call jails correctional facilities because all it does is torture the individual for the time
they are there and they learn how to become better criminals. People are taught how to cook

meth and I am in there teaching people how to grow mushrooms. People are very interested
with me in jail but I mostly hide in my cell because I don't want to be bothered as I travel
through the astral world and communicate with my friends back home.
It talks in the bible about having a sound mind and I certainly do not have that. It is
impossible to shut my mind off so it is more like I have a mind that is chaos. A part of me
believes me to be the god of chaos in this world because I am constantly changing things up
in this other realm and supposedly sending people on quests for me. I need help and the only
thing I have is the help from the entities that are mixing my mind up more and more. They will
train my mind in a unique way where they will say " now think of a flower, okay now say hello,
now what person do you think of when you put the flower and the apple together, and my
friend Scott will pop into my head and I will say, 'hello Scott, how are you doing'. He responds
with good, now think of the apple and the flower circling around each other and as I do I hear a
voice say, "good Rhizo good". They are constantly doing these little things and changing up
the images in my mind that I am supposed to see, and the voices are constantly speaking with
me and I am doing bizarre things in my mind that I believe to be important.
The importance of these things is hard to say, it is possible that they are trying to get
me to train my mind so I am able to handle things in the future when I have to deal with other
entities that are hard to deal with. Sort of like I have to mix up my mind in order to ward them
off. I have used these tactics a few times but it is difficult because they will come through as
voices and say things like "what are you doing retard, you think this is gonna stop us" and I
feel embarrassed. Feeling embarrassed is a very common emotion with me because some of
these entities use it to gain control of the moment. They are very crafty in using your past as a
tool to make you feel this way and no matter how hard I try I can't help but feel bad. This world
I live in is complete chaos and throughout it all I cannot pray to god for help. I have called that
god a lower being, something that does not compare to my level of power in this world. To me
he was a dog, nothing more than a creator of our petty world and I am a being who has
created millions of different realities and in my mind that makes me far more superior to that
being which at the time I am calling a dog. I have blasphemed to the point of no return and
their is no forgiveness for what I have done. Jesus Christ supposedly died on the cross for our
sins, but a part of me believes myself to be Jesus and I have turned on my father for what he
has done to me in the
past. God does not love the people of the world like he says he does, he is a horrible being
who does nothing but torment each and every person with the belief that they are sinning. I
believe in a few sins, don't get me wrong, but there are some sins which I believe to be
ridiculous. One of those is to honor thy mother and father. What about the mothers and fathers
that take advantage of their children, rape their children, do things that are unrepairable to that

child, should they be honored? I believe that murder, rape, stealing, and worshiping false idols
to be the only sins. Even worshiping false idols is not as bad as some of the others and I
believe that there are gods that are more forgiving than the wrath of the god almighty. That
being does not care as much about us as you'd think, he supposedly sent his son to die on a
cross for the sins of others, what kind of nonsense is that. It is about being of Christ and living
how he walked to understand the true message of Jesus Christ and to know that your sins are
only forgiven when you change your ways.

My family is frightened by me, I try to explain my beliefs with them the best way I can
but their only reaction is to be afraid. I am telling them that they worship an invisible god and
try to explain to them the power of entities and how they constantly come to you and make you
believe them to be god. They are the tricksters, the beings which you pray to and they feed off
your energy. They are like leeches of life and it sickens me the more powerful they get. The
beings attached to my parents are the most powerful of all, well, except for Heidi, she has
something attached to her that is more powerful than I have ever seen. Me and her get along
but do not play in the astral world too much anymore. It is not because I am afraid, but my
medication is not fully out of my system and I have not gotten in touch with that world in quite
some time. It is not difficult to live in that world, but it is a battle when you haven't used your
third eye in a while. I suppose you could say that it is a visual meditation and I believe this is
what they call "mindfulness". I hate mindfulness that they talk about in my groups that I am
forced to go to because they want me to visualize what they are talking about. My reality is
that I play and create and deal with beings that I did not just imagine up. They can be
frightening at times but when that happens I just jump out of my mind. Sometimes I need to do
this because they can do some freaky things. One time I went into the astral world and I was
at my ex girlfriends grandparents house. I was outside playing in their pool when I decided to
go into the house. As I opened the screen door there was a group of entities sitting on
couches and all of a sudden they turned their heads all at once at me in a freaky jerk. From
there I jumped out of that world and hyperventilated for a little bit because the fright that can
be obtained in that world is quite profound.

One of these entities I see is in the form of my little brother. I see him as the joker and
oh is my little brother powerful. I end up trapping him in a small box and keeping him stuck
between two of my Rhizobots where he is held. I am actually able to control this entrapment,
but I am a sympathetic person and my little brother convinces me to let him loose and that he
will help me with my missions. I see my brother as a powerful entity and I foolishly let him
loose. From there he changes and gets past my Rhizobots and runs after my queens. I have to

pull my own superman stunt and try to catch him. I finally catch him and have to do the only
thing I know how to do with a being this powerful which is grab his soul and put it in another
box and send it out into the cosmos. I am doing all of this to protect my queens but deep down
I love my brother and it hurts to send him off like that.
So I am beginning to wonder what the meaning of life is, is it to go on these missions
and live in fantasy world or is it to live in physical reality and try to set up a normal life. The
normal life seems out of date, seems like something people have been doing for many years
which just argues for a place in society. My new reality is way better and the meaning of life to
me is to enter these higher states of consciousness and perform the tasks that you know you
need to perform. These missions are important and when you finally accomplish what you
want to accomplish you will have reached heaven and it will not matter anymore. Finding my
paradise is all I crave, but I realize later on in life that my paradise is just to be living on my
own in an apartment away from the world and living on SSI from my obvious disability and
being happy. Growing mushrooms is something I will probably always do. The cultivation
lifestyle is more than just the money it is everything that I crave, it is the playing god that I love
and I want to share my creations with the world. These drugs are used in so many ways, but
for the most part it is my religion.
The problem with psychedelics is that the government does not like free thinkers, they
do not want people like me writing and polluting the world with these alternate realities that do
not fit into their idea of a perfect society. They want us all working their factory jobs and
restaurants making it easier for the community to pay into the system. Well the system is
fucked, it does not make the world a better place. I will say that we should pay taxes for the
roads and the schools but these politicians and judges and police are not needed. What
happens when the war on drugs ends? What will these police have to do other than deal with
assault charges and stealing. We can all make this work when the war on drugs ends, but it
seems that they don't want it to end. They make money for each incarcerated person in jail for
a drug bust and it is all a money scheme. I agree that drugs should be regulated but to put
some people in jail for drug dealing or drug use is just ridiculous. I know that this will change
over the years but we are only doing this little by little. I sit with all these people on drug court
and I realize where the true battle is, it is with society not wanting these (social degenerates)
to be a part of the general community. They don't believe drug addicts should be a part of
society and this has only happened within the past 50 or so years when all the drug
propaganda had hit the scene. Nobody is gonna die from one hit of ecstasy or a few joints.
They used this on the American people to the point where these older adults who had never
tried these drugs believed it. This is common knowledge to people so I will go to my crazy
delusions again because I believe those to be the most interesting.

Now I have lost touch with reality almost completely. I do this thing where I go to sleep
and have horrible night sweats and when I wake up I am in the dream world. Everything is
coinciding with my thoughts and everyone appears to know what I am thinking. I have this
problem where I see people out of the corner of my eye and I believe it to be one person, but
when I actually look it is another. I am becoming freaked out by this so I decide to take a
shower to hopefully cool me down. I think this is a good idea, but I am hearing voices and am
in one of my states of fright. I tend to become startled very easily when I am in this state and
when I open up the door there is this ugly fat lady standing outside of the door and she says in
a high voice "hi".I jump out of my skin and she laughs. I am so sick of the stel house and
dealing with these things but I am stuck. I am forced to deal with this bullshit because the court
wants me to stay in this place and there is just nothing I can do. I deal with this fright quite
often in the Stel house. I am doing ccc a lot and the people in the house are just acting as
their mentally handicapped selves do. I feel bad for being judgmental on these people but I
become scared. There was a time that I was going through a lot and all I could do was pray to
god, that fuckin asshole. Anyways I pray to god for help because I am going through a lot and I
don't know what to do. Seconds later I walk out my door and this handicapped man named
Shawn is walking down the hall. He has a habit of saying "Hi David" to me and it is part of his
handicap, but at this time he does it right in my face and I become horribly frightened. I could
not handle it and I had to leave the Stel house because it was too much for me. His voice
penetrated my soul and it hurt. I don't know how to deal with things like that at the time so the
only thing I can do is run. I am a constant runner, I need to run from these horrible times and I
tell the Stel house I am going for a walk.
I don't return that day because I decide to go to the cemetery. I tend to find solace in
the cemetery, it is a peaceful place for me, but something isn't right. The cemetery is empty
and I feel all alone. I am calling out for an answer something that will help me, "what do I need
to do god". At that moment I think about my parents and I see a person walking by and from
this I say to god "do I need to call my parents" and from there I see two people walking up the
path. I continue on with these questions about my parents and before I know it there are mad
people all over the place. I call my dad and am in a breakdown and tell him I need him to pick
me up because I am having multiple delusions at once and I need him to come to me. He of
course says "where are you" I tell him I am at the cemetery and he says "I will be right there".
My parents are always trying to help me and it troubles me that their mind could be connected
to these entities that are so horrible. It is as if they want nothing but good for me, but at times
they have these beings attached to them that can't help but try to fuck with me.

It is a sad situation because I always have to return to the assisted living house. I do
not trust the staff and I think everyone in the house is out to get me. There are a few people
who are good to me, but overall I am dealing with a bunch of people that I have to act cool
around. You never know if one of them is going to hear you talking about the crazy shit you are
dealing with and go to the staff. That is why I say I am living with a bunch of snitches, for the
most part they are all trying to screw you over, but there are a few new ones that I like. I don't
tell anyone that I am doing coricidin except for my roommate who is actually cool, but the only
problem I have with him is he is stealing from me. Whether it is cigs or money he can't help it,
he has an addiction to wanting more. Eventually I had to tell on him for stealing my stuff
because I was getting pissed off, but I will give him credit for never ratting on me for using how
I did.
There was a night when I went to my friend Heidi's house and I decide to do a whole
shitload of aborted mushrooms. She had a bunch of aborts and in reality all the mushrooms
were mine, so I do at least 3 or 4 grams of aborts, maybe more. I start to get sick after I do the
mushroom tea and say to her that I have to leave. The walk home was difficult because I knew
where I lived and was following the direction but I don't recognize hardly any of it. I finally get
home and lay down in my bed and put on netflix. My roommate is there with his girlfriend and I
am tripping harder than I have ever had on psilocybin. I try to communicate with them, but it is
mostly a bunch of mumbles and yes and no's. I have no idea what I am saying but what
happens is I start getting auditory hallucinations like crazy. The voices are telling me that this
is my new reality and this is how everyone lives now. We are all telepathic and we never sleep.
I accept that this is what I am dealing with and my roommate is trying to get me to come out
and watch television. It is as if he is trying to get me to socialize, but I am beyond that point.
The voices are laughing at me, telling me it is funny that I can't socialize and I should just hide
in my corner. His girlfriend is coming in and out of the room and I am catching glimpses of her
as I go between a half sleep and half dream and I become scared. I wonder what they know
about me and it is as if the people are rolling in and out of the room on wheels. It is just too
much to handle and on top of that the netflix movie I randomly decide to pick is talking about
my daughter. This brings me back to the delusion I had about being a pedophile and being
tortured as I went back in time to pay for my crimes. Let me tell you about actual terror, you
have not had it until you do a large dose of Psilocybe cubensis and are left in a house full of
mentally ill people.
The people I am around are not in their right head, some of them talk to themselves,
some of them shake their head at random times, some of them have straight up down
syndrome, but most of them just have crazy stories just like me. I seem to connect with the
ones with the crazy stories and can tell them stories that they experience without saying a

word. I meet my friends mom in this place and start talking with her about delusions. It seems I
can say, "hey, remember the time you watched family guy and they said that joke that you
thought was completely about you and they are making fun of you", and her eyes lit up and
said "yes, how did you know that". Well the thing about this alternate state of mind is that we all
go through similar things. I had it with family guy, but I also had it with other movies, some of
them are television shows. It appears that the show is directly making a joke about you that the
whole world sees. It is not a good experience and you become very embarrassed by it. I am
used to embarrassment at this point so some things don't even phase me anymore.
It is interesting the amount of people I meet who have been through similar delusions
as me, but it is hard to say how close their story is to mine because I have had thousands of
delusions and I just pick out the ones that seem the most common to the person I am talking
with. This sort of creates a bond with you and an individual and some of these people I have
made bonds with that I will never let go of. Obviously the bond I have with Scott is great and
he would never trade me off for anything in the world. Me and him connected greater than any
person I have ever met in my life and that is because we entered a crazy world together and
we will share something that nobody will ever share. I also experience this with my friend
Kenny, but not as close as with my friend Scott. Kenny has been to these worlds as well and
has created his own worlds and has said he has seen me in these worlds, but it is hard to say if
it is actually me because there are many entities out there that like to impersonate people.

Why is it that I am searching for the mysteries of this universe so much? I am just after
an answer to the telepathy and dream world that no one can tell me. It is like being in a
wonderland where everyone is in some sort of conspiracy against me and they like to toy with
my mind and not give me the truth. I try and try to be nice and helpful to the beings I
communicate with, but they seem to have alternate agendas. Am I not suppose to know about
what is going on, am I a piece to the puzzle that needs to be only founded out by me. Why is it
that they just can't tell me that they hear me in their minds. The idea that I am disabled is
traumatizing to me because I don't want to be disabled in a world full of the telepathic. It is
hard knowing when to think certain things, but it is the most troubling knowing my mind is an
open book and there is no stopping others from reading my thoughts. Maybe I should think it is
funny when I think about porn and project it into their minds. Everyone likes porn and there
shouldn't be any problem with it, but at the same time it is an embarrassment to me because I
can't help it when they get into the inner dwellings of my mind.
I will tell you of a time where I knew people could break into my mind. It was with my
good friend Aaron when we around 15. I asked him to try to figure out my password to AOL

messenger and I pictured myself in my mind snowboarding down the hill. I asked him what the
password was and he said "snowboard". The odds of this happening are literally one in a
million of all the answers he could have given, and this is where I realized that my mind has
been an open book for many years.
Before I was what I am now I was the class clown. A person who would thrive off
attention from laughter of my fellow classmates and I just didn't give a fuck about what the
teacher thought. I was in a world of my own and it seemed that others responded to it well. I
have always been a person to get a group to respond to me which is why I did so well with the
partying throughout my life. I could throw out rants that were beyond amazing and would blow
peoples minds. It was just a thing that I did that took no effort and almost always the response
was "dude, you just blew my mind", I never try for these things it is just a general thing that I
do. I question authority and bring about ideas that challenge society in a way that ends with an
awesome scenario about how life would be without it. I get some amazing responses and
these responses boost my ego more and more. My ego is inflated, but I had destroyed that
ego later on in life and rebuilt it as the one and only Rhizo, which I associate myself with today.
Rhizo is my higher form of consciousness and he is different than just Dave Soderberg.
He is a powerful being in the astral world and at the time I had brought him into this one. I was
a
one of a kind a person who moved with music and thought in a way that no one else could.
There was this one time that a girl was trying to get with me but I saw her as ugly, an ugly
mind and a face that was just not worthy for my presence. A few minutes later I saw her crying
and could not understand. Was it possible that she knew my mind and felt rejected? I never
know whether my thoughts are true or not, but why was she crying. Some things just do not
make sense to me anymore, it is as if I am on this chessboard moving pawns around and
watching as I sacrifice each and every person along the way. I am just after my queen, the
perfect woman who I feel worthy to be with me. Man, what an inflated ego, an ego rebuilt to
see myself as a god among man and watching as the world hates me more and more as I do
my bidding around these places. The way I move is different though, I hear the music playing
and I dance with it with my every day routines. I set my cup down at a change of song, I move
my body with the way the beat goes, and every girl is looking at me as I play the world.
This is how my mind thinks, and it is probably not the reality of it. The reality of it is that I
have built an ego that is out of this world and the people I am meeting and seeing at these
bars are not ready for it. How could they be, they have never seen a person twisted on grams
of DMT, mushrooms, and cocaine like I was on. I was literally one of a kind and I played it off
cool. You need to remember that I was not tripping, I had become a man of full ego and that I

was something that these people had never seen before. It is similar to me on meth, but
nothing like it at the same time. I was so full of myself that I would reject any woman who would
come onto me because she just wasn't worthy to be with me. Oh man, what a piece of shit I
had become, just a person on his high horse who thought him self better than everyone else,
and no matter what anyone would say or do they could not bring me down.
You gotta wonder what it was like with my parents, they were getting the full frontal
scope of Dave Soderberg in another realm, but to them I was not Dave, my name was Rhizo
and I was the Root of David who was after the full control of the human race. I could not
believe that they couldn't see it, the power that sent out through my sword of mouth. Oh I
forget, that is my major weapon. I speak with a sword of mouth a power through my words that
frightens the individual I am dealing with. The psychiatrist will call it a word salad, a bunch of
words mixed together that don't mean anything at all, but to me it is my power, where I rule
over anyone I come in contact with and I pursue this to the end. No doctor can really put an
accurate label on me, because I am something different, something that they have never
heard of. Some say that I should be in a medical journal because I am so bizarre, but in my
opinion they say it just because they have nothing else to say because they cannot understand
the unknown that I have placed myself in.
It is hard living like this, I am rejected in so many ways, but I continue to grow strong as
I read the bible and they tell me what I can do next. This book is a guideline for me, it tells me
how to handle the world and gives me peace when it tells me I will be given everything. The
bible is my crutch and I wish that book never had been made to this day. Would I have done
what I did if I never read that book, well it is hard to say. I believe that I would have found
another book that depicted what I was going through and done similar things. There are other
ancient text that say similar things to what the bible says, so the bible is not one of a kind. It is
just a book that tells a story which I depicted to be my own. This is similar to other books which
tell of a divine person and the great things that they will do. I don't want to get into detail about
all the books that these are established in because frankly the quaran and the veda are not
books that I have studied too well, but they all say very similar things.
The whole godhead thing seems to be a basic theme of these books though. They all
depict the coming one and when I read it, all of it seems to depict me. I read a book that my
friend Scott had that had to do with the age of Aquarius and what it had to do with the stars. All
of it aligned with me and my story and I can't help but get a high from when I read these books.
The high I get from reading the bible and all these ancient text is higher than you can get from
any drug, and sometimes I am not using any substances. The mind of a person who has
pushed himself to the limits of the psychedelic experience has a point where they read things

and connect the readings to their own lives, or just maybe, just maybe, these books are meant
for me to read and I am part of a prophecy. I will never have the true answers to this, but it
makes me wonder day to day how important of a being I truly am. I am the most unique person
you will ever meet, or so I believe.
It is always the stories that are important to me. The quests that I go on with myself and
my friends where we are searching for the truth. There is no other greater quest than
searching for the truth. The truth is the only thing any of us should be looking for, but the world
is so set on searching for the best Maury show or Jerry Springer episode that it sickens me.
This is all they want to watch in jail and it is pathetic. Nobody wants to search for knowledge,
they are all on their quest for the funny scenarios that people deal with and the comics of
these peoples lives. I find this to be quite frankly retarded, even family feud, it is a pathetic
show where people try to find the answers to questions that have nothing to do with anything
important.
Let me go back to a time where I dealt with ridicule and people made fun of me. Being
a pastors kid was not easy for me. I was pegged as the goody two shoes of the group and that
wasn't me at all. I was the kid rolling joints of paper and thinking of myself so cool. I would
smoke a cigar in my tree and think I was the shit. I remember the first time I smoked a cigarette
and inhaled for the first time. I felt like such a badass. I was always the person who wanted to
prove myself over being the pastors kid, you cannot understand the level of impact that my
fathers religion had over me. I didn't want people to see me as the pussy that they did, all of a
sudden I wanted them to see me as the drug addict I was soon to come, and there was
nothing that was going to keep me from going to those places.

Let me tell you that later on in life I did find who I believe to be my queen. I had heard
from my friend about this girl he had hooked up with and had a spiritual experience with. He
was talking about sex magic and what happens when you fuck on LSD. Later that night I am
on Facebook and I see the name of the girl he was talking about as a person I may know. I
clicked on add friend and this is where I first started talking to Rose. Rose is one of a kind, a
spiritual person who believes in reincarnation and divinity and all the things that go along with
a spirituality. We started talking and finally we meet up and go to an AA meeting together. At
the time she was getting clean from her heroin addiction and I was forced to get signatures for
drug court. When I first met her there was instantly a feeling of peace that came over me and it
felt so nice. Naturally I am a nervous twitchy person so it was odd for me to feel that comfort
from anyone. I was always after a girl who was a little hippie chick with dreadlocks and I had
found one.

There was one problem though, this is the time where I am seeing Dr. Mcmahon and
they just forced me on a new anti-psychotic called Fanapt. This drug causes so many side
effects and sadly one of them is sexual dysfunction. I wanted this girl so bad but these mother
fuckers on drug court are causing me to have a limp dick and on top of all of it the
anti-psychotics cut off my ability to become telepathic and enter alternate realities. They give
me tardive dyskenesia which causes me to shuffle, and I never feel comfortable no matter
what I do. They also cause you to experience anhedonia which means you stop feeling joy. So
Rose just turned into a good friend because I was left as an empty shell of a person.
When you live in the astral world and someone sees you in person while you are there
it is as if you are frozen and staring into space. It is the third eye that brings you there, which is
through your pineal gland in your brain. I also get visions of what I believe to be a possibility of
the way something is going to happen, sort of like the string theory where if I had made this
choice these are the possibilities of how that is going to play out. I see the mind as way more
amazing as most people would see it.
I first started using my third eye as a means of getting to the astral world after smoking
some DMT and laying in bed at my old apartment. I used it to travel around my town and go to
7/11 and sit on the roof. I really believed people could see me, and it was as if I was seeing
myself from a third person point of view. The interesting thing about it is when I see myself it is
as if I am a powerful being that can conquer anything, which is my main persona in the astral
world. My abilities vary and it has taken a lot of practice to get to the point of having so many of
them.

I went to a doctor a few months ago and it amazed me how much he knew about the
disorder of schizophrenia. He was telling me things about it where I didn't even have to tell him.
With most doctors they need to hear all my symptoms to give me a diagnosis, but with him he
is talking about how the world and voices give you answers and how you love to be god and
the hardest thing about getting on medications is that you don't feel as god anymore. In all
honesty I can't see anyone who experienced this reality to its fullest to want to be on
medication because it is just so goddamn beautiful. Sometimes I wish I could take the whole
world and place them in my mind for just one goddamn minute. If I could just show the people
around me what I experience for one minute, maybe they would have a better idea of what this
reality is actually like. Drugs will get you to this reality, but it is different when you have a clear
head and are just dealing with the symptoms. The problem with drugs is that there are
powerful feelings that go along with the drugs when you enter these phases of consciousness,

but when you enter them with a clear head you are less likely to be fooled by all the "highs".
On the way home from the doctor I was starting to have auditory hallucinations and
was communicating with entities that were talking to me about the interview with him. At first
he seemed like a really good doctor, but the voices convinced me not to go to him because he
will be no good for my mental health. Whenever my voices talk to me about my mental health
they are talking about hearing them, delusions, and going to the astral world. Medications just
fuck all that shit up and I fucking love that other world. I get the best therapy from putting my
mind on paper because there is so much going on up in this skull it is unimaginable. This is
very therapeutic for me and I could write for hours and hours and keep going.

Teachers and school counselors would always ask me what I wanted to do with my life
and to tell you the truth, all I wanted to do was work a factory job and get fucked up the rest of
my life. It was all I really cared about in high school and I couldn't wait to get out on my own,
work a job that was just repetitive labor, and come home and drink and smoke weed. I was
into a lot of other drugs, but to me alcohol was the most important. I knew I had time to figure
out what I wanted to do, but I never expected my future to be as bizarre as it is now.
I have questions about how many dimensions there are. Sometimes I believe that there
are only two real dimensions and that is where the other Dave Soderberg exists, and for some
reason I see him as the evil egotistical me. It is probably because of all those stories about
having an evil twin in alternate realities. Sometimes I believe I am talking with him in unison,
and that's where my voices say "you totally are" and at that moment the air conditioner clicked
on again. Should I live by this guidance? Is it just delusions of a mad man? Well, sometimes I
could care less because it is fun, but the terrifying things that happen to me are not.
There was a time where I was at my grandmas house and I had all sorts of celebrities
that were in my room and they were all talking to me. I have delusions about celebrities quite
often and that is where Johnny Depp would tell me "why are you just looking for one queen
shouldn't you have more than one"? This is where I developed the idea that I should deserve
many. I am not sure if it will happen but it was a good idea at the time. All these celebrities are
just laughing about my Mila Kunis delusion. we don't really talk about anything in particular,
just kind of randomly chatting about the thoughts and delusions that go through my mind as we
do a little playing together, which is where we all sing in our minds together and come up with
some brilliant lyrics. I mostly see these celebrities through my third eye and it is as if they are
kind of like ghosts that stand around in my room.
I am on a quest for the perfect life of my standards, not what society thinks you should

be doing. I was always kind of unique, and I didn't ever want to just follow the crowd. I had to
be the one doing something different, something that other people weren't into. This was very
prominent with my mushroom hunting and that may be one of the reasons I like it so much. I
love when it rains because I know in a few days I will be finding all sorts of goodies.
I believe a lot of what I went through had to do with my ex, it was always her that got a
hold of all of our friends when we got together. I would rarely get a call from a friend, and when
we broke up it was like all the people I considered to be my friends were gone. This caused me
to feel all alone and a part of me believes that I created all these people in my mind because I
felt all alone. I know that can't be the whole reason but the feeling of being alone was
overwhelming in my life at the time, but I did start gaining new friends. That's interesting, the
music I am listening to me said "friend" at the exact moment I wrote friends. It is bizarre how
music speaks to you like it does with me.
I'm going to tell you the story of when me and my friend Billy took our trip to Saratoga
springs. We were going to see a few concerts, they were Tom Petty, Rush, Matchbox 20, and
goo goo dolls. We went up there with a bunch of drugs, it was like a fear and loathing las
vegas trip. We had 3 ounces of shrooms, a half gram of coke, a ball of DMT, at least an ounce
of weed, adderall, and 25i NBOME. We were on a psychedelic fueled adventure and a lot of
bizarre things happened on that trip.
We are staying at this site that has cabins called Deer Run, it was interesting because
as we drove up the driveway to get into the site we see a deer running across the field. It is this
type of synchronicity that appears to me a lot of times. When we first get there I see a giant
Easter bunny and egg blow up decoration and it was bizarre because it was as if it was a
celebration for me rising again. We unload all our stuff and of course we had picked up alcohol
at the store so I planned on doing a bit of drinking there. We don't do much the first day but
smoke some weed, probably ate some shrooms, and later that night went to sleep to get ready
for the Tom Petty concert. That day was a mighty trip and Billy is also a godhead and he goes
through some crazy things as well.
So we go to the concert and when we get there we each are eating shrooms along the
way, smoking joints and having beers with random people. We finally go to the show and I am
tripping pretty hard at this point, believing I am telepathic with everyone and getting a little
overwhelmed from the experience. We meet a couple in front of us and they had been together
for a long time. Later in the show her boyfriend disappears and just leaves her there with me
and Billy. We chat for a while and I am on an ego trip where of course this chick wants my
dick. Billy disappears and I have no idea where he goes, it takes me an hour to finally find him.

He had moved closer to the front of the concert. It is not fun tripping your face off and being
lost in an unfamiliar place.
I finally find Billy and he is having delusions about us being in a giant space ship, and I
just kind of laugh it off. It amazes me how real a delusion can be to a person. Later that night
we get back to the cabin and decide to smoke some DMT, and we had found a little clearing
with bushes all around it and fire flies all over the place. We feel this to be the perfect place to
smoke it. I take 3 hits of DMT and after the third hit the world starts spinning and I fall to the
ground. When I hit the ground I have an image in my head of me spread out and spinning
through a portal, very similar to the drawing Leonardo Da vinci did many years ago where it
looks like the person is trying to teach us how to make snow angels. I am teleported to what I
believe to be times square and everything is so bright, I hear children laughing and crying and
whispers "are you alright" "is he gonna be okay" and there appears to be road blocks where I
have landed and it is like I am in a Godzilla movie for some reason. Billy is telling me to stand
up, stand up Dave, but I am glued to the ground and I envision a giant egg type structure that
is shining in bright yellow envelope my body. This is where I have a thought of the Easter egg
and it's true meaning of death and re-birth. DMT is definitely a drug for death and re-birth, I
have pushed the limits with that drug and am quite honestly a little afraid to try it again, the shit
makes me a little crazy. So then Billy lifts me off the ground and pretty much carries me back
to the cabin and when we get there I look at him and say "thank you".
It is the next day and I believe the next concert we saw was Rush. We smoked some
weed, 4 doses each of 25i NBOME, some shrooms, and probably a few beers at the concert. I
can't remember the concert too well but I believe I had a good time. Later that night we get
back to the cabin and I am tripping hard, it is as if the cabin is alive and I am just laying in bed
wishing I can sleep. Billy wants to go for a walk and I am not up for it but he keeps begging me
and I say "some things you need to do alone" he understands and walks out into the campsite
tripping out of his mind. About a half hour later or so I get a knock on the door and it is the
police. I am freaking out because we have so many drugs in our cabin. I did not have a key to
open the door and the cops are freaking out on me, but this gave me time to pick up all the
drugs we had in the house and put them in a duffle bag. They get a key from the owners and
finally open the door and from there they just walk in. I argue with them about this being our
property for a week and them needing a warrant but they insist that they can do whatever they
want because the camp supervisors own the cabin. The police are not very nice (as usual)
and they start looking around the apartment. I guess they are aloud to look around the
apartment but can't go through our things and I am getting pissed the fuck off because they
are trying to go through my shit and I am telling the Police officer "fuck off you piece of shit"
and this is around the time that Billy walks up to the cabin. Supposedly he had been

trespassing on somebodies property and went into their cabin. Later on the next day he
explains to me that he was seeing in his mind these peoples thoughts and he saw the wife
with a shotgun blow her husbands brains out, so Billy breaks in to try to protect the man.
So these cops let me pack up all our shit which I throw in Billy's car and I try to follow
the cop to the place they are keeping Billy, but I lost the cop. So I am in a car with a shit load of
drugs, it wreaks like weed in the car and I am looking for the police to try to find him. I make it
to two different police stations where I am looking for my friend and finally I find that he is
waiting on the judge in a court room. It is pretty late at night and I don't know how I am able to
drive in this unfamiliar place, but the cop gives me good directions and finally I find him. The
judge gave him trespassing charges and put him in jail. I followed the cops to the jail and later
that morning was able to get a hold of a bail bondsman and bail him out with 100 dollars. In my
mind this trip is over, but Billy says "hell no, we're staying for the other concerts", so we go and
find a cheap motel and Billy asks his friend to wire him some money. There is a bar right next
to the motel which was pretty nice, but we don't have a lot of money left. We were at the bar
once and I overheard a man talking about a spiral he saw in the clouds the other night and my
mind immediately jumped to him seeing my portal. It is more likely that this is a delusion, but
you never know, weirder things have happened in this world.
We did a few other things in Saratoga springs like check out the downtown. It was
pretty nice but the people seemed to be rich prissy types. We went into a magic shop and I got
a set of tarot cards, these are the cards I use to find the answers to life with. It was weird how
the child card would keep popping up. There was also a time where I was on DMT and I was
predicting the cards as I flipped them. We left Saratoga springs a few days later, I also needed
to come back and check on my mushrooms to see if they were ready to put into fruiting.
On the way back Billy has put on the christian channel where they are praising god,
and since me and Billy are godhead's it is as if they are praising us. This will bring you to such
a high that there is nothing greater. The music speaks to you in so many ways, especially
when I am writing. I listen to music when I write and it gives me starting points or jump off
points of topics to write about. A lot of times it brings back memories of things that have
happened to me or delusions that I have had. Right now the song is talking about how I look
nothing like Jesus and that is true at the moment since I had to cut my long hair because of
lice. It's also interesting because I re-read that last sentence and the music said "talking" at the
exact moment I read talking. It is these bizarre instances that make me say that this is more
than just schizophrenia.
There were nights when I would look into the stars and see planets and believe them to

be UFO's because they slightly move and appear to change colors. I would talk to these
spheres in my mind and say "just give me the answer to life, what is this all about" and I would
never get the answers. I just want so badly to understand the world and know the truth about
our origins and I have to question everything I hear about. I pretty much believe everything to
be a lie unless it is proven to me. It is the only way I can get through my day to day life without
being so gullible because there are times that I am the most gullible person in the world. I just
believe things so easily and it is hard for me at times. I want to believe people when they tell
me their own crazy experiences but it seems like my mind cooks up a concoction where
somehow it is related to me.
I must be completely self centered to believe that everything has to do with me, but that
is just the way it goes when you are in this state of mind. There is no telling you any different,
and don't try to argue it with me because I will just get pissed off because it is so obvious what
is happening. There were a lot of beliefs I had about the bible, and as I read it I would manifest
these stories into my day to day life. I had a delusion when they were doing construction
around our police station that Satan had been captured, but had escaped, and turned into a
snake where he came into the garden of Eden and convinced eve to eat the mushroom from
the tree of knowledge. These things were so real to me, there was a lot of construction going
on in our town and it was like they had gotten a grant or something to rebuild the city. Of
course I had to make this about myself and I imagined pictures of me all over the place and
renaming the town to Rhizotown, there being group tours through my apartment where it all
went down. This was a fun delusion and these are some of the reasons why I am believing I
am getting all this money.
My mushroom grow was going to hell because I was neglecting it to get high and play a
lot of blackjack. I became obsessed with eating mushrooms, doing cocaine, and smoking DMT
and while I played cards it was like I knew what the next card would be. There were times
when I would say "okay, if this card is not a 3 I will stop all of this and get back to cultivation,
and the next card would be a 3". I constantly looked at probability and possibility and it was
more like magic to me than anything. This would keep me consumed for hours on end and it
was so much fun for me, just the simple game of blackjack and getting high.
I am the type of person who would probably just give all my money away. I don't need
much and there are many people who are deserving of a better life than I am. I still want my
paradise, but my paradise is not what most peoples paradises would be. I mostly want to be
left alone from society and live somewhere where I am not bothered by the police, doctors,
and counselors. Over the years I have been stuck in the system and they have truly done very
little for me except torture me with horrible medication and label me with all sorts of things.

That is all they ever want to do, group you in with other people. It is an atrocity to the world
today to not see that everyone is a unique individual with their own gifts and they just need to
get in tune within themselves to develop their skills.
Let's say that my abilities were just a figment of my imagination for a second here. The
delusions, the telepathy, the seeing into the future, the astral world, and the voices are nothing
more than my mind playing tricks on me. That would just make me a schizophrenic or a person
with an overactive imagination. My life would be a total waste, everything I went through would
be all for nothing, it was just mere mental illness and I am nothing special at all. When I first
got my diagnosis that is what I believed and it was the worst feeling in the world. I had to start
believing again in order to build my self esteem because nobody wants to live in that type of
depression where they are taunted now by horrible voices that are mimicking everything you
do in your day to day life. I started taking my medication as well and at the time I was on abilify
and it is one of the worst medications I have ever taken. Your thoughts slow down so much
that you can barely think, and you can only respond to people in short sentences because you
just don't care anymore.
DXM and me have a special bond, it causes hallucinations and amplifies my voices and
causes that alternate reality to all come back. I can't help but do the drug because I love the
chaos of my mind. It is not that I am searching for my queen as much anymore, mostly
because I have already found a host that I am waiting for to get on my level, but I am talking
with entities more and more. We talk about all sorts of things and they project images into my
mind constantly. It is strange but they project images of pornography into my head more than
anything and that is something I don't want. Pornography has it's purpose, but there are
feelings that go along with pornography when you are on DXM that you don't want. Your
sexual arousal is very low when you are on this drug so all these images are is an annoyance.
I love the images that come through my mind when I am talking with my friends, even the little
things like an image of Rose waving to me in my head and saying "hi Dave" gives me feelings
of joy. It is the need to be telepathic with people that I crave so much, but the pornography
problem is the main nuisance in my life.
It is possible that I have polluted my mind with these images for so long that they are
just a part of me, but I think I need a spiritual cleansing from a healer, or I need the magical
substance DMT to get back in touch with that world and do some more work to weed out
these horrible images. Back in the day I was afraid that I was going to lose my abilities
because they were going to remove my lamp stand over me because of masturbating. I went 2
and a half months without masturbation and after a while you don't even seek it out. You just
kinda stop caring about sex and all you really want is to be held by someone. The constant

fear that I had to follow the prophecy to the T was what kept me going and no matter what
anyone said or did to me telepathically I would still continue my journey for the holy marriage.
I also day dream a lot, this is different than the astral world, this is like any other person
who day dreams about a time when they were happiest in their life and how to get back to it.
My favorite time of my life was when I was working at Blair industry and riding to work with Al
and I wanted to go back in time and live that all over again. I would day dream about moving to
Warren and getting my job back and living peacefully in an apartment as I cultivate magic
mushrooms. I really no longer want to be in Jamestown because the cops all know me and I
don't want to know that they all know my name and know how I am with the police. I hate to be
touched by the police, they sicken me, and they always pat me down to see if I have any
weapons and I just want to freak out right there and punch them in the face. I constantly have
to hold back what I want to do because the last thing I need is another charge, especially for
assaulting a police officer. I have images in my mind of how it is going to go down if I get into a
brawl with a police officer and it never turns out good. Police officers mostly just beat me and it
is totally wrong for them to do so. I would think that there should be laws put in place for when
they act on me with so much injustice, but no, they go on their merry way and I am left beaten
and left on a wooden bench before I go in front of the judge hours later to be sentenced. This
is a cruel world and I don't want to be a part of society, they are all nothing but hypocrites,
judges who do cocaine, politicians who fuck prostitutes, what kind of world is this. Now I guess
I shouldn't judge because I do cocaine, have never paid for sex, but I can see myself in a hotel
room shooting meth and banging a prostitute in the future, so that doesn't make me all high
and mighty in that department, but these are supposed to be stand up citizens and they are all
mostly corrupt.
Meth is a drug that fuels my writing I just want to keep going and going. It is a drug that
makes you focus more than anything and to achieve a lot of things. Many people like to take
adderall because they get things done. I also get things done, but my voices also come into
play
here. When I am feeling lazy they say "get up, get back to writing, you are almost done" and I
almost always obey them. My voices are not always a nuisance, they can be helpful at times
like when I am in counseling appointments or seeing a doctor and they tell me to stop talking. I
somewhat see this as a defense mechanism so I don't say too much and they force me on
meds that make me sick.

When I was up in Jones hill they put me with a roommate who is psychotic and he says
he has eaten between 1,000 and 2,000 boxes of ccc in his lifetime. He sings out lout at

random times and talks about music and his obsessions. I think to myself "holy shit, is this
going to be me someday, pretty much homeless talking in my head constantly and having
trouble to communicate with people. A lot of what he is saying is not making any sense to me,
so I just say things like "yeah, I feel ya" it is easy to lie to these types of people because they
are in their own world and don't really care if you talk back much. I have been in these states
where I will rant and rant on and on about a bunch of my delusions and voices and could care
less what is said back to me. I wonder if it would really matter though, if I was in that state of
mind with people caring very little about me. I go through life pretty much hoping people will
ignore me anyways, so how far have I come when I can get society to ignore me all together. I
am becoming more and more quiet, I should probably keep drinking or I will disappear into my
mind completely.
I am always searching for someone who has the answers, but no one does. They are
all as clueless as me and I end up in places and with people who appear to be in my mind, but
they will not give me the information out loud. It is true that they give me information in my
head but that just fuels my delusions more and more. It really starts to suck, let me tell ya, this
never ending scavenger hunt is tough and what I am looking for I don't believe ever could be
found. There are so many ideas as to what is going on, but nobody can give me the answers
that I want. What I really want is the answers in my mind to line up with the answers someone
will tell me out loud, but maybe this is a pipe dream.
Maybe I really am just delusional and this fantasy world I live in doesn't really exist. I
still await the time that I will be taken to my paradise and I feel it to be closer and closer, I have
someone who I believe to be my queen and it is just going to take a little time to see how far
her mind is going to start behaving. I know that my mind is starting to get back to it's normal
state and I know that I need to eat the sacred fungus and perform some magic to really kick
start this other world that I so desperately crave. My magic is bizarre and my rituals are
beyond just the things you read in witchcraft books. One time my ritual involved tearing up
pieces of paper and twisting them all together with bits of my hair and mucus within it and then
tearing that up and tossing it around in a circle as I chant alla mesh de amon de a la ve con
mesh de amon de mosh del ve and I then I would pick up the pieces one by one and wrap
them up in a ball of toilet paper. I would also place the little ripped up pieces of toilet paper on
the cell door and have crazy eyes and crazy motions as I picked up each and every piece of
paper. I don't ever know what magic I am performing but it seems like I am doing things in this
reality that cause chaos. It was shortly after this that my friend Heidi's house burned down and
I believe that had to do with me, of course I believe it had to do with me. It was a meth fire, but
that does not matter. I had brought so many entities into that house that some kind of disaster
was going to happen.

You never know the chaos that I create, I do magic with cards that fuel my delusions. It
is not always that I know what the next card is going to be but I place cards in certain patterns
and use my magic wand to tap the cards and chant my magical words. I had set a crystal in
the middle of my cards as I separated the deck onto two sides of the stone. What I am trying to
do is unknown to me, but I know in my heart that I am doing something out of the ordinary.
Usually my voices intensify when I perform these types of spells, and sometimes I wonder if I
am calling upon the entities to do my bidding.
These entities seem to be always with me, but there was a moment when I was living
in the Stel house where they said to me they had other business to do and they would be gone
for three days. At first I didn't believe them, how could that be possible, they must be lying, but
I woke up the next day and the voices were gone. I felt alone because my friends had
disappeared and for three days I questioned why they would do this to me, I needed them so
badly and on the third day they returned and said "we are back" it is these little things that
keep me going in believing that this other world is totally real and it is not just the delusions of
a mad man. I know there are times where my mind just plays tricks on me, but once you open
up your mind to the other realm it is all you crave anymore so you will imagine or produce your
own voices that tell you things just because you want more and more.
My parents don't necessarily believe that I am mentally ill, they were fine with the
doctor taking me off the horrible anti-psychotics. I think they believe that this is more a spiritual
battle that I am in, the holy war which has been going on for a very long time. The battle
between good and evil, so to speak, and I just so happened to find my way into it. It is not the
only thing I am after of course, but it does come with a lot of responsibility of battling entities
that want
nothing more than to harm me, the golden child, as I call myself sometimes.
Once I met a man when I was walking home from cvs. I went down there to get some
cough and cold medicine, but when I went to the counter with it the person in front of me said
"no, get the nyquil" so I obeyed and went back and got the nyquil. Now nyquil is not to be
consumed in large quantities because it has chemicals in it that are not good for your liver. I
talk with the cashier and she says jokingly "I hope this takes care of your cold, with a slight
nod". On the way back there was a man sitting on a bench and the voices said "talk with this
man" so of course I obeyed and said "hey, hows it going". He was a peculiar man, maybe a
little out of his mind as well. He talked about how his roommates were stealing from him so he
would leave his radio on so they thought he was home. He also talked about demons and
pointed at a tree and said "you have a demon stalking you and it is right over there". He

proceeded to talk to me about all sorts of things about the government like how they have guns
that could take down a whole brick wall and that no one is safe. We are also talking together
telepathically where I tell him my name and he responds with a nod. We talk for a good couple
hours when finally I say that I gotta get going.
As I am walking away he walks up to me and says "here, you left your lighter" which I
had purposely left to see if he would follow me, and this is where I get a little bit sloppy in
hiding my mushroom grow. I allow him to come up into my apartment and from there I make
some mushroom tea and drink the bottle of nyquil, and within 15 minutes I am puking my guts
out in the toilet. The man proceeds to rant on about all the famous musicians he has known
and I think of him as a very important man that I have somehow come across. He talks of his
family and how they have pretty much disowned him because of the life he lives. He would say
he sometimes lives off grid and just fishes by a river and plays his guitar. He is a fascinating
person, but when I lay down in my bed after I start to feel super high and tired he turns on me.
Starts looking at my television and appliances and yelling "do you really need all this as he
shakes my television". I have no idea what he means, what kind of message is he sending to
me. He then proceeds to leave my apartment and I run after him and say what do you mean
and he responds "it doesn't matter, I don't even know your name" I yell as he leaves the door
"you may call me Rhizo", and I never saw that man again.
It really is strange how the crazy people are attracted to each other like magnets. I find
them all over town and it is as if people are following me around. I would have two or three
people at a time following me around as they wanted to hear more, and most of these people
are homeless and probably mentally ill. They are all looking for the answer to life and I believe
that to be one of the reasons they remain homeless. They don't like the idea of fitting into
society because they have found something much much more within their own minds, but the
problem always remains where you do not have all the details to get the perfect picture of what
is actually going on.
I always prove my beliefs to myself, but it is difficult to get others to follow. Most people
just see mental illness, but there are a few who see a gifted mind. Sometimes I go into a bar
and randomly talk with a person for all of 30 seconds and they say "you seem like such an
intelligent person" and I think to myself "how could they know this by barely talking with this
person". It is at these times that delusions set in and I think these people know something
about me, know something about my mind that they will not share, and yet again I am dealing
with the possibility that they are breaking into my mind. Sometimes it is as simple as having a
thought and the person next to me saying my thoughts out loud, other times it is a delusion I
have and they may shake their head. When I was with Heidi she was trying to stomp out these

delusions, but the task was impossible. She would make loud noises or get frustrated every
time a delusion would pop up and I was trying so hard to stop it, but it is something that cannot
be stopped. This is where I believe I am sacrificing myself for the greater good. I ask her for a
tylenol but yet again I know she is bringing me cyanide. I am always trying to sacrifice myself
for the greater good because at this point I am believing that I am not the messiah, I am
actually the anti-Christ.
Later on I question this belief of being the anti-Christ because what anti-Christ would
ever sacrifice himself for the greater good? The anti-Christ would be trying to rise to power,
and it's not like I wasn't doing the same, but rising to power for me was for the greater good,
not to start the apocalypse. When Heidi gave me the cyanide that is where I believed I had
died and she fucked my dead body. It was hard for me to trust that woman because the 6th
Heidi that I dealt with in the astral world is a terrifying being. The only reason I feel I have more
power than her is because I do everything out of love, and love is the most powerful energy of
all. It is what keeps me going in life and I will not stop until I am satisfied with all my work. It
seems that my family and everyone at the Stel house wants me to get a job, but I can't get a
job, I am busy doing things. I can never tell them what these things are because in all honesty
I am afraid that they will want me to go through more treatment because what I do is not
normal.
The main thing I do is talk in my head and come up with brilliant ideas which make me
feel good. My brain chemistry and body are communicating brilliantly and I have reached highs
similar to cocaine and highs similar to heroin. When I really get going in my mind it becomes
exhausting and I lay back and feel a rush of euphoria similar to when you work a hard day at
work and finally get to relax. Sometimes I am on drugs when this happens, but other times I
am not, the drugs don't get you high, the chemicals in your brain get you high and if you can
somehow control how much seretonin and dopamine you release in your brain you can
achieve highs without taking drugs. That was always the one power that I wanted, to get high
without the use of any drugs, just a snap of your fingers and bam you are wasted.
One thing about Heidi is that there are 6 of her, in other words she has 6 personalities,
or how I liked to think of it as the beast of Revelations. I have fought with those Heidi's for so
long that I just had to stop. The end result was futile, I could never win because she could just
keep going and going. I think this is because she has been practicing in this other world for
many years and in a lot of ways I am new to it. This doesn't mean I am not powerful in it, it just
means that I haven't learned all the tricks to get things set the way I want. I can create portals,
create rhizobots, make castles, create landscapes, create rooms, manifest anything I want
really. This stuff is easy, but when it comes to an evil entity it becomes more difficult because

they alter what you are trying to accomplish and it is as if they do it with ease. I believe that I
need my queen to gain all the power I need to beat that six headed beast, but that is going to
have to be up to my queen. Can she handle this world, and what abilities might she possess
that could be useful in my endeavors. I think she has many hidden talents that she has not
discovered yet because she has not been focused on that other world as much as I have.
There is a lot of information on youtube that blew my mind, but the most interesting
thing that happens when I listen to these people talk is that they connect directly to my
thoughts. There was a man name Johnathon adampants who would speak on subjects I
understood and it is as if he would pause and laugh at times that I was having a delusion or he
would literally be talking about my experiences as I thought of them. I would also have
connections with music videos where they would show images of the things I was believing at
the time, like in "rap god" where Eminem is going through portals, or in "scream and shout"
where Will I Am would be wearing a crown that said king on it. My mind just becomes
connected with these things and it is so real to me that I can't help but believe. I think the
weirdest one was in the music video of Lorde called "Tennis Court" where I would blink at the
exact same time she was blinking and this blinking is so simultaneous that it would drive you
nuts. There was also the music video of Sia in "chandelier" where it was actually Remy doing
a dance for me, or even more so in "Elastic Heart" which is me so desperately trying to get my
queen but I can't get out of the cage to have her. These music videos all speak to me in ways
like the music videos are directly put there for me to watch. Oh, what an odd reality I am living
in.
There was something strange that happened to me a couple days ago where I was
laying in my bed with my eyes closed and said to myself "if it is 5:22 I am going to call my
friend Heidi" and low and behold I check my clock and it is 5:22. As I called her Heidi goes "I
was just thinking of you before you called" the connections I have between people is getting
stronger and stronger. The times and dates are very important to me and I predict that
something important is going to happen. I predicted that something big was going to happen
on august 8th of 2015 which was 888 and that was the date I ate 3 boxes of ccc and told on
myself and went to jail. It was hell in jail because I was going through withdrawal from ccc and
I was going through withdrawal from benzos and I just couldn't sit still or get comfortable. I was
having very vivid dreams that time in jail and man oh man I would have done anything to get
out of there. They always put me on suicide watch where I have no blanket or anything in my
cell and I have to sit there huddled in my jump suit with a guard right across from me watching
me shit and piss. Jail is such a horrible place, it is a tragedy that anyone should have to go
through that experience.

I have lost my license do to my DUI's and have to walk everywhere I go, this is pretty
shitty because other than that I have to depend on rides from my parents. Throughout this time
I meet lots of interesting people on the street. Sorry, I have to stop and say the music just said
time at the same time I wrote time. Time is one that comes up a lot with me, it is as if time is
very important to something in my life and it keeps popping up. Anyways, this town is full of
interesting people and this town is a special place. People say that there is something about
Jamestown NY that makes it unique. This town is known for being where Lucy grew up, but
she hated this town and we franchised it. We made this town all about Lucy and I can't stand it.
I had thoughts about Lucy being a mockery of my name. A clown who got all this glory and she
didn't deserve a minute of it. Don't ask me how I came up with this it just seemed that Lucy
was nothing to this town and using her as an icon was pathetic. I heard a story from that man I
met on the park bench that Lucy used to sit on the sidewalk and put on little shows for people
with her dolls, but people would walk right past her and think of her as an outcast. Then when
she rose to fame everything became about Lucy. I heard she was quite stunning and quite the
whore, but the thing about her being a whore was this was back in the day when if you slept
with 3 guys you were considered a harlot. It makes me really wonder how much she really got
around.
I am constantly reminded of my ex girlfriend every day of my life, the pain that she
brought on me was vast and I felt so embarrassed for me not to realize what she was doing. I
felt like I was crazy to have so much trust in a person, but I suppose everyone has had that girl
that did them wrong and they think about it a lot. It is as if my life cannot move on from it, I
have PTSD from the whole experience. For months I couldn't cook spaghetti because that's
what we used to do together. I would get flashbacks of her standing next to me and it would
torment me every day of my life. It's just memories of the past that are hard to get over
because when you are with someone for so long they become your life. Over all though she
was no good for me, she was just holding me back from my true talents, she didn't like my
obsession with mushrooms. When I would go on hikes with her and find a mushroom I have
been searching for for years she wouldn't even stop to let me pick it and clean it off. Just a
selfish bitch who cared only about herself, and she puts on a facade that she is such a caring
person.
The question of how to save the world and bring heaven on earth is one of my greatest
missions, but how do I do this. Do I do it in my dreams, do I have to find some sort of
miraculous discovery that will bring the world together in harmony so we stop fighting. Does
this have to do with war and the coming one, the one to finally bring peace to the nations and
explain that we are all one. Each and every one of us is connected, and consciousness is what
is most important, not getting ahead in the world by stepping on each others toes, but getting

ahead by pulling together and making this place heaven on earth. My feelings mostly about it
has to do with the battles in the astral world and making that the heaven which each and every
person will learn how to enter, but how can we be a productive country if everyone is living in
la la land and not getting anything done? Well, there are people who actually like their jobs, so
it is a matter of finding what you love and going with it. I would love to just study mushrooms all
day and hunt in the woods and I can see that as a possibility in the future, but right now I am
just going to stick to my delusions and voices so I can understand a little more what is going
on.
People have argued with me on the internet about not being the Root of David, and it is
okay if you don't believe because I understand that there are a lot of godhead's on this planet,
but I never could understand how all these people just believed that they were god one day
without the story of how they got there. It is one thing to feel like you are god, but it is another
to actually perform rituals and become a higher form of consciousness that has entered your
mind. Maybe it is easier than I think and I just went the extra mile, but it is possible that entities
can just possess you. We hear of demons entering the bodies of people and they need an
exorcism, but how real is that. The medical community will find explanations for it, but they
never do it any justice to the actual situations. I used to see evil entities everywhere and it was
kind of haunting, I would stare off into space and follow them around the room with my eyes
and it would really freak my parents out. I believe that animals can sense their presence as
well which is when you see them following something around in the room that only they can
see.
There was a time I met a girl named Kaylee and she was doing a lot of bizarre things
as I would do. I used to rip up pieces of paper and throw them up in the air and do this crazy
thing with my eyes when the paper floated to the ground. Then I would pick up the pieces of
paper and receive messages from the pieces. When I went up there with my friend Scott she
was doing the same thing I was. She also gave me a book and said I think it is really important
you read this book, and throughout the book there were certain parts of the book that were
underlined and that's what would stick out to me. There were also pictures within the book
which depicted some of the things I was going through in my life. This girl could also break into
my mind and that is something I love and don't like. It is difficult for me to be around people
who so bluntly come out and show me they can read my mind. The pornography problem with
me was prominent and there was a time where she asked me a question and the thought of
porn popped into my head and she shook her head and said "ew ew" and ran into the house.
This of course makes me embarrassed and I am so sick of that embarrassment I feel, it is
never ending and there is nothing I can do about it.

Technology is beginning to be harder and harder to do and I can't do something as

simple as remember a phone number. My thoughts are so overwhelmed with the counting and
mixing up of numbers that it is impossible to use all the things of the mind a normal person
could do. Don't get me wrong, my mind was doing other amazing things but I was growing into
someone with a handicap. It is hard to focus or do anything because the voices are so
powerful and the delusions are hard to control. At one point I accidentally set my phone to
Spanish and I had no idea how to turn it back. The voices are trying to guide me, but really
they are just fucking with me. I tried to fix it for so long so finally I give it to my friends and they
try to figure it out and finally we get it back to English. These tasks are getting more and more
difficult and I can't help it, my mind is just too spun to do anything.

I have experienced this problem many times where I just can't take care of myself. I
don't care to shower, brush my teeth, eat, or do anything a normal human being will do. I just
have trouble with living a normal life when I am swept away in my mind so much. My family
begins to
worry about me, like usual, and it hurts me when they worry. I am in a drug induced state and
there is nothing that will pull me out of it. This frenzy will not go away even with discontinuing
drugs, but the chances of that are very low because all though I am going through traumatic
shit I am also at times having the most beautiful experiences of my life. I can't help but keep
going, it is just in my nature to push it to the limit and go farther than anyone has gone before.
I gotta say that my biggest mistake was ever trying to find a person of importance, they
would never believe me no matter how hard I tried. If my family and friends won't even believe
me what are the odds that a person higher up in the community would believe me. I am just
high as a kite knowing that this is the thing to do. I have to cross that line because it is all I
have left, I need to get to the president and tell him I have arrived and tell him how to fix this
world. I have images projected in my head of being on a platform and speaking to large
numbers of people about what I have done to perform this task of time and let them know that
something even larger is about to happen. I just know this is it, know this is the answer the
world needs and I can't stop until I am known. Oh, I became known in my town alright, known
as the crazy guy who believes he is god and speaks of the end times. To them I am just
another guy on the street with a sign saying the "end is near". I write on facebook that I have
come and this is the end times, but don't get any likes, it is the beginning of continuous writing
about the prophecy and what is to come. There are some who respond to it, but that is mostly
the other people who are considered schizophrenic and there are a lot of them out there.
When I was in Mayville I was taking Zyprexa and it was all fine for about a month or so,

besides for the restless leg syndrome it would give me, but after a month I had to stop taking it
because it was causing my mind to not work. I can't stand that pain of your mind slowing down
and your abilities to cease. I remember pacing the jail and everyone was saying little bits and
pieces that seemed to be about me like "it's all over" "we're fucked now" and I believe that it is
because my mind is heard by all people. That's when I hear in my head "no shit Sherlock" and
I truly believe my mind to be heard. I used to think I was telepathic with them because I would
think something and someone would say my thoughts out loud, but then I realized that it is
more likely that they heard my thoughts, believed them to be their own, and said it out loud. Is
it possible that my thoughts can be confused with their own and nobody really knows what is
going on? I just wonder these things because there have been a lot of instances where this
has happened, like my dad said once "we're going to subway right" and I had only thought
about going to subway and he said it out loud. Little things like that make me wonder more and
more if I am just an open mind to the world.
My mind was once just as normal as any other person, just a man living life like
everyone else, well, with a drug addiction, but that is pretty normal in our society. When it all
changed it was hard to say exactly how long I had been in that state of mind. I couldn't
remember what it was like to have a normal mind and the voices were very commanding in
everything I did. They would make me do things for them like covering the mirrors in my
apartment and taping the web cam on my computer, covering the television with sheets so no
one could see me, I was pretty much at a level of paranoia that you see with meth heads, but I
was mostly using psychedelics and cocaine. The cocaine was probably the culprit because it
is a stimulant that also throws you into pretty heavy psychosis. I would constantly peak out my
window to see if there was anyone spying on me. Luckily I had no neighbors at this apartment,
but people would tend to walk by and the voices would say "look someones coming" and every
time they did this someone walked by. I experienced this same phenomenon when I was in
Allegheny county. I thought to myself, maybe I subconsciously heard their footsteps and that is
why I know they are there, but that is just crazy. Another thing that would happen is the food
car would come and the prisoners would bring the tray to your cell and every goddamn time
the voices would say "look here comes the tray" and I would say "no way" and it would always
happen right when I turned my head, the food tray would pop through the tray slot of the cell
door. Can you understand why I would follow this guidance from above for so long? They just
know things and predict things that keep coming true, and doctors say this is mental illness,
pshh, they know nothing of the abilities of a mind so in tune with an alternate reality.
There is always a feel of connectedness with the whole world that I feel. It is as if the
whole world is in your head singing along with you, this has happened to me many times.
There are also times where I am just in communication with a group of people, like the people

in my dorm at jail. Once when I was in jail I said just give me a sign, let me know that this is
really happening and at that moment I hear a loud bang. Another time I said "so who is my
queen I really need to know and they say "Ellen" and at this time there is a lightning storm and
at that moment all the lights of the jail go off. I could have many queens or I can change my
queens, because for me it is just finding that perfect girl to spend my life with. I am not a very
jealous person anymore, so I am willing to share my queen with others as they will let me be
with other girls as well, it is not fair to just have one partner, and that is something my parents
definitely do not agree on.
I was on a psychedelic rampage that summer and I told my dad "you will bow down
before me in time" and my father did not like this. Obviously what kind of son would say this to
his father, but when I was in Allegheny county there was a day that my parents came to visit
me and my father could not say a word. My mom talked continuously and my dad just sat there
with a bizarre look on his face. I am too preoccupied talking with my mother to really
understood why he put his hands on his head and bowed his head to the table that separated
us, but later on I realized what he had did. What was it about that day that made him do that,
was he just tired and needed to rest his head, or was there something that he experienced that
day that made him realize who his son really was? I have so many questions, but when I
brought it up to him a few months later he denied it and yet again I am having problems with
my parents. They are full of beliefs, but they cannot understand that it says I am a living
breathing god and he walks among us in many forms. I see god in a lot of people to tell you
the truth, I am pagan in a lot of ways and see the world as a bunch of demi-gods walking the
earth at once all finding the truths about what they are. I obviously see my self as one
demi-god, but there is a vast universe out there and it may be possible that there are gods who
have created many worlds and they walk amongst us. I have a friend who believed he created
a planet called planet x, and I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
At times I have to do reality checks just to keep my head straight. I do these by talking
with my parents or counselors, but in all seriousness they don't know what to say. They know
my reality is fucked and all they can do is pray with me or the counselors will say "I'm not sure,
there are many possibilities to what you are experiencing". Some people believe my diagnosis
of schizoaffective is correct and others believe myself to be having a spiritual experience and
to me it is a little bit of this and a little bit of that. One of my constant fears is to be alone, and
that is the hardest thing when you believe yourself to be god. You have no one to turn to for
guidance, you believe yourself to be above everyone else and the people who try to help can't
touch the surface. To me it is simple, I follow a guidance that is above me through the music,
the television, through my friends minds, through the literature, and most importantly of all
through my delusions and voices.

They haven't really steered me wrong, going to the mayors house was not the brightest
idea, but then I would have never been thrown into the system to show the world how horrible it
really is. There are many people who don't need meds and I stand as an advocate to let these
people be in their own minds and see what they come up with. I have been in the psych ward
many times so I have seen the minds of the individuals who are considered crazy, and they
really aren't that crazy. Most of them believe in conspiracy theorists and the such and I don't
see anything wrong with that because some of these conspiracies seem pretty dead on. The
thing that doctors don't like is when people believe something to the extent that they get
somewhat hostile when you don't understand. It is so frustrating when they don't see your
point of view that you have to literally just stop talking an be like "yup, whatever man, believe
what you want, but your diagnosis is crap" and most of their diagnosis is crap, the medical
community is a crock of shit and the only reason it is so big is because the pharmaceuticals
make so much money off it. I will say that there are people out there that are a danger to
themselves or others, but those are the only cases where medication may be needed.

I have a problem with eye contact, I cannot look into a persons eyes for more than a
few seconds, they say that the eyes are the gateway to the soul and I am going to tell you a
time that I looked into my ex's eyes. I had been with her for years and never looked into her
eyes, and one night I decided to try and they were the ugliest eyes I have ever seen. This is
just from my perspective, maybe her eyes are beautiful to others, but to me it was just pure
ugliness. I don't know if this means she has an ugly soul or not, but I developed this delusion
about her
switching bodies after I looked into her eyes. I believed that when I looked into her eyes I
brought another Shelly into this dimension, a cheating Shelly, one that did not cherish me. I
have many beliefs about my eyes, they change colors from blue to green and are really
beautiful if you stare into them, at least that is what I am told. I always stare at people mouths
when I am around them because it is too painful to stare into their eyes, sometimes I think it is
because my soul is so dark that it hurts them to stare into mine, so I hide.
Where do these ideas come from, what is my brain actually doing? It is so mysterious
to me that I can't help but wonder if I am some form of being possessed. I would say that I am
possessed by a higher form of consciousness, but it is possible that I am possessed by
demons that seem to take on my life and haunt me. It is very strange to be in this predicament,
but what can I do, there is no one out there that can make me feel any different about my
situation. This is just me being Dave Soderberg I guess, maybe a nutcase, maybe something
more along the lines of divine, who can really tell me the truth. Nine times out of ten I will hear

nutcase though, fuckers just don't like me living in fantasy land I guess.
Death is a bizarre thing to me, I really don't think I can die, but we will find out later in
life. I test out my liver and they give me blood tests on a regular basis and everything seems to
be good. This is strange to me because I eat loads of ccc, drink regularly, shoot meth, do
ecstasy, and over all just don't eat healthy. My parents at one point had me do a colonoscopy
because they were trying to figure out what was wrong with my digestive tract, and I knew it
was just because I was an alcoholic that I was having diarrhea, but just for their sake I had it.
They said everything was normal, they checked my liver and my enzymes were good, maybe I
have an extraordinary body or is it possible that I have somehow changed my DNA to live
forever as a god? Probably not, but it is something I hold onto as a possibility because I look
so young as a 27 year old.
One time I was at my parents house and I believed that they had poisoned all the food
in the fridge. I still wanted some pepsi so I poured a glass and not a half hour after I drank it I
felt a burning sensation in my stomach and it was really painful. I laid back in bed and this is
where some fucked up shit started happening. I started crossing between dimensions and I
was in one dimension where we were in a room and these people were trying to shoot me, but
I pulled a matrix move and stopped all the bullets in mid air and continue to kill them all. I also
was in a dimension with Heidi and Remy and low and behold they are fucking my dead body. I
could do nothing from that point but watch and it sickened me. I then proceeded to another
dimension where I was in a different room with people who told me we need to enter this door
and meet the tribe. That was before I entered the room and they all tried to shoot me, and
during all this time there are entities in my actual room. I hear them moving around my stuff,
walking around my room and I have a pillow over my head, but I just want them to leave
because it was really freaking me out. After this I get up and sit in my chair and watch
something on the history channel about a meteor that could hit earth. The television is talking
to me like I am involved in the whole discovery of this meteor, but frankly I am on
methylphenidate and I feel like jerking off, so I say fuck this and get back to the porn. Oh the
porn, my crutch when I am on stimulants, I just can't help it because it is so intriguing to me.
When the television talks to you it really throws you into delusions. It is as if I know the
next word that is to be said, or it is telling me information of what is to come. These thoughts
inhabit the brain in remarkable speed and I can have four or five delusions in a manner of
seconds. That is why I say I have had hundreds to thousands of delusions. Some things just
set me off and I go and go with my thoughts and I can't help but believe. The reality of this
world is that it is one of a kind and you are the co-creator of it and the entities all follow along
with it and give you details about how you are involved. I tend to be involved with many parts of

it, it is just part of the egotistical mind that has been created. I may be egotistical in my mind,
but that is only because I have to gain control over the entities. If I am weak to them they
downplay me, so I have to be a powerful being to them. To the people around me I am as
gentle as possible at this point, I have learned that no one will believe me anyways so I
learned to just chill out. That is the thing about me, I can just chill out and go on with my day
like nothing crazy is happening. It is what you have to do to get through life like this.

I have seen so much at this point that my mind is nothing more than a massive
connection of ideas and thoughts about the realities I have entered that I can no longer live as
the Dave Soderberg that everyone knows. I have become something else, and it is just the
way it is. I need people to recognize me as the god I have become (lol), but it seems that they
cannot. Nothing but mocking and laughing at a person who is so out there that they believe
there is no way I can come back. I always come back, but I snap back into it, it is the drugs
that put me out there and when I read any book it manifests into my reality and I believe it to be
about me. So, the television, music, books, people, and animals are all communicating with
me in many ways and there is no way to get me out of this reality. I just can't help it, I don't
know what words to use to explain how difficult of a situation I am in. I am a junkie who has
pushed the limits of the psych and I am speaking in tongues while creating alternate realities.
Once there was a string hanging down from the ceiling and I focused on the string and made it
disappear from existence, and of course I believed this to be one of my powers. I had so many
powers at this point that it was hard for me to live in the world the others possessed. It was like
if they knew who I really was they couldn't handle it and would fall to their knees and bow
before me as the creator of all things.
Now you may see this as an ego thing, but in my mind it was just reality. I was "god"
and the people who wouldn't get with the program were going to be weened out. There was
going to be a time when I rose up and took them all down and showed them how beautiful the
world really was. Most these people were alcoholics, and it is a drug that I can't help but hate.
They
are all consumed with drinking more alcohol and making fools of themselves and personally I
can't really judge because there was a time that I was doing the exact same thing. We all have
our crutches and mine had become psychedelics, which was a new one for me. I have never
known a person who was addicted to psychedelics and I didn't think that is was possible, but
here I am eating mushrooms and smoking DMT every day of my life craving a high that can
only be described as fucked.
One day I became completely sunburned and this was where I believed that the sun

was actually bad. It scorches the plants and I saw my prodigy as the light of the world where
plants would grow and that evil sun would burn out. It is a delusion which made so much sense
as I saw all the dying plants. I wish that this delusion would be true because there are so
many places that need water, but the scorching sun causes their plants to die. I had walked to
the hospital where my mom works and was trying to explain to her this belief, but as usual she
has some sort of explanation for my delusions, like the sun is what is needed to sustain the life
of plants, but I can't believe it. To me the sun is nothing but a nuisance and we need another
source of light that isn't so hot and can fuel the world. Why oh why do I have these
delusions?This idea is beyond crazy, but to me it was perfectly normal to think this way and
that is the reality of delusions.
I am so good at coming up with random things that are wrong with this world that I can
correct, it is as if I am the person this world needs to fix all the problems, but really, I am just a
man with ideas that are so far fetched that nobody could believe me. It is like I needed to
re-train my brain to get back to a place where I saw reality as it was. I don't want to do this, I
want the world to see my mind, relate to me, and I was afraid to make a single sound. I was
afraid that my beliefs would cause chaos in this world, so here I am just talking nonsense to
my parents and I believe my thoughts to be the most important in the world.

I am on a constant mission to know why I am the way I am, and it is so hard to believe
that I am anything different than a unique being that has been somehow reborn as this. To
many they are just delusions and your own mind playing tricks on you, but with those
responses I can't help but laugh. They have not seen what I have done, do not know what
comes through the mind of a man who has crossed the bridge into a new and more powerful
world of synchronicity and messages which guide you through everything you do.
My friend Heidi once said that there is something dark inside you, something that I just
can't put my finger on. I am not sure if it is something I have created throughout my ritualistic
magic, or if it something I was born with. I became a very patient person and every moment I
lived seemed perfect the way it was. I would be telepathic with random people I walked by, I
would stare at the ducks by the river and be at peace. Throughout all this I am randomly
believing things over and over again and I get into a habit of following certain people that seem
to lead me to my next clue in the puzzle that is my life. One time I was following a woman and
she brought me down to CVS. She was walking up main street and she stopped and turned
around and I heard in my mind say "follow me" so I did. Next she got into a car and I was
tempted to get into it with her but then I heard another voice say "go into CVS", as I walked to
CVS I heard another voice say to walk over to Big Lots. It is just a never ending hunt for the

truth, but on the way to Big Lots I saw in this little bus stop the word "Hades" written on the
ground so I went into the bus stop and found a pamphlet about the Jehova witnesses. Now I
believe everything I read, so I believe this to be it, this is the answer, what these people
believe must be it. Next a man sits next to me that appeared to be homeless and he gets up
and I hear yet again "follow me" so I do and I think he was on the way to the soup kitchen. The
voices are in control and I am obeying at every turn, they tell me to give the man a cigarette
and he takes it and says thank you. After that happens I stop following him and walk back to
my apartment, believing that I have accomplished enough for that day.
After I do these things I go into the other world and start to fuck astral chicks. Cocaine
really puts you in that mind frame and it turns me on, so naturally I started jerking off thinking
about it. I don't know if this makes me messed up, but there are many people who do this. It is
just a natural thing to do on stimulants as your nuts tighten up and it feels very good. I assume
that woman do this as well, but are not as open to talk about it as the men are. Frankly, I don't
give a fuck if anyone knows my secrets, I am an open book to the world anyways, right? I fuck
sometimes at super fast speeds and I am all over the place as if the movie playing is on fast
forward and everything gets super intense, but doing it like this gets tiring on the mind. My
mind is pretty powerful, but even I need to take breaks. It is hard to sleep on cocaine so I stay
up all night playing cards like I usually do and finally get to sleep in the morning.
I just tried to go into the astral world and bizarre things started happening. Clips of
movies are entering my mind as I am there. I am in a massage parlor and go out onto the
balcony and then I am in the movie "Ace Ventura" and I am seeing him dance in that tutu. I
also went to a beach and instead of walking onto the beach I see the diner in the television
show "rocket power", now the television and me are connected to some point. Sometimes this
gets bad, other times I am able to just stay in the astral world, but my mind needs a bit more
training. My thoughts are breaking through my astral plane and causing me to see things that I
don't want to see. This has happened to me before in Allegheny county so maybe this is a
good thing. The mind is the most complicated thing known to man, so maybe these images are
supposed to be there.
Oh the movie Bruce Almighty played a big part in my delusions. How hard it actually
was to be god and what it all means. You can never truly give everyone what they want cause
they always want more. Similar to when I gave Danny all these abilities and he became power
hungry and started fucking everything up. My delusions are never perfect, I believe in the
movie that it was peoples prayers where they all wanted things from god and he couldn't
handle it, so he just had to learn to ignore the prayers, but at first he would grant people all
these wishes and he causes massive chaos in the city of Buffalo. With me it was that people

were never truly satisfied with what I would do for them in that other world, and it troubled me
so much that I would have to switch things back and forth. I would undo what I had done with
the flick or twist of a finger and then they would be fine for a moment until another trouble
arose that I had to correct. This is such a tiring job and to stay awake trying to create the
heaven for the people is such a daunting task.
Around this time I am laying in my cell and am just wanting all this to end. I say I cannot
please these people, what do I do. Now I am speaking with the extra-terrestrials that say they
will fix all these problems. This makes me so happy, I just can't wait to pass this responsibility
onto someone else. What they do is unexpected though, they are pissed at me because I
made the human being in my image, but they are ugly. They look similar to the aliens in the
movie independence day and they are pissed. So instead of helping me they start killing off
people. I say "no, what have I done" and they respond with "do you want the power back, do
you want to take on this responsibility again", because the only way we will give it to you is if
you change our form to something more appealing. I say "yes I will do this for you, just don't
harm anyone else" and I imagine them as the most beautiful human beings on planet earth
and they are pleased. Once I get back authority I am back to trying to manifest the perfect
reality for my fellow human beings and finally after going for days on end I am able to get a few
hours of sleep before I have to see the judge.
People can always tell I am not totally there, just kind of living in my own reality. Some
people keep their distance from me in jail and others enjoy my crazy stories. They all call me
Jesus, as usual, because of the striking resemblance, and I am perfectly okay with this.
Sometimes people will call me Jesus and counselors nearby will hear this and say "don't call
him that, he is not Jesus, he is just Dave", I find this quite humorous because I could care less
what people call me, it doesn't change the fact that I believe myself to be the Root of David.
Some people pick on me, throw things at me, make me out to be a joke, and these are
the ones I know are doomed for eternity. I have these feelings that to harm me puts you on the
path to hell because you are nothing but a nuisance during your life time. Little pestering
demons inhabiting peoples bodies that like to torment the chosen ones. What we are chosen
for is somewhat of a mystery, but I know that we will rise up and make a name for ourselves
and become the true leaders of this world in time. It is just the power that I am after, more
power is what I always want because I know that a person like me with power would be a
benefit to mankind in so many ways. The teachings of the bible are just part of it, but there is
this whole other side to me that believes I can take on anyone with my sword of mouth and put
them in their place, all I need is the power to do it. Just being a plain old citizen gets you no
where, you are just considered another crazy person walking through the streets, but a man

who is actually acknowledged as who he says he is, well that's something to be talked about.
What an egotistical prick I must be to believe so highly of myself. It is an atrocity on
mankind that I even walk along the people in this world, but it is just the way I am. I believe
that people know this about me and that is why they hate me, thinking I am better than
everybody else, but how else can I think. A higher form of consciousness has taken over me
and I cannot control this crazy ego of mine. I don't think it shows as much as you may think,
but in my writings you can only imagine how far it truly goes. I want glory, I want praise, I want
what each and every christian gives praise to, and I get it not from the people, but through the
music and through the television. This is what the government wants to take away from me,
they really don't like an ego as inflated as mine, but fuck them, what do they know about this. I
try to fake it everyday that I live in society, because when I totally let loose Rhizo on this world
people did not like it.
I have had friends in the past that would always put me down, make me feel unwanted
as a person, it didn't help that I considered them to be my best friends. Tearing down peoples
ego is not a cool thing to do, I believe it should all be about building up that person to the point
where they say "yeah, I am a great person, lets show this world what we can do" but instead it
is the ones who tear others down that seem to build themselves up. That transfer of power
makes me sick and it was not really what I was doing when Rhizo came up. I just wanted to be
known for the being that I had become, not that alcoholic that the whole town seemed to know,
but the king that now walked amongst the crowd. King, god, higher form of consciousness,
Rhizo, the Root of David, and entity are all things I called myself. It was as if one name wasn't
good enough so I developed many to describe myself and each and every one had a feeling
that was wonderful with it, but it would get old after a while and I would not feel that euphoria
from calling myself by these things anymore, except Rhizo and the Root of David. These
names were special above all to me because they had the most meaning as I read
Revelations and connected with that book.
It is beyond me how just speaking words in your mind and hearing the television and
music speak to you can be so euphoric. Somehow your mind and brain are connected which
releases these chemicals. In my opinion the mind and brain are separate, there is a mind hive
that everyone's mind is in and it is connected to your brain by something of a string, or helmet
that is attached to your brain where it allows your chemicals to flow so magnificently. The mind
hive is almost paradise and it is where I would sing with everyone simultaneously and achieve
these highs as I would let the music flow, but for all I know it doesn't truly exist. It is impossible
to know truly and I await the day I die and go back to where I am from, which could be hell,
and am told what it was all about. It has driven me at times to want to commit suicide, and at

times I believe this to be everyone's mission in life if they can pull the trigger and go back
home. This world is not right for me, and I don't want to be in it much longer until I get the
things I crave.
I had a habit of trapping evil entities in my chest where I would have Jared keep guard,
but he would keep letting them out. They would trick him by turning into different people and
he would set them loose. It was not his fault, it was the same problem I would have with my
Rhizobots, so I would have to continue to catch these entities in the astral world and lock them
back into my chest. So of course I decide to bring Will Smith into this and have him help Jared
out with keeping track of who is who. This seemed to work for a time, but I am always
disappointed by the work of other beings who I have there to help me. You just can't do these
missions alone, it is impossible. You may be asking why I even try anymore, but in reality it is a
lot of fun, it keeps me occupied for hours on end and I don't have to face the difficulties of my
actual life because I am just so caught up in this other world.
Me and the bible had parted ways a long time ago. That book was what started the
cycle and I wanted nothing to do with it. I figured that I have already performed the ultimate
task of time and the only delusion I have held onto is the true love delusion where I await my
queen. That delusion may be more powerful than Revelations, but it is not more important to
me than what I read in that book because they kind of go hand in hand. It is this craving for my
soul mate that keep me on my toes and I just keep going and going. My patience has started
to grow thinner and thinner and I start to want these things now. It has been a couple years
now that I have wanted my prize and to wait that long for something is shitty as hell. I guess it
is not as bad as the slaves who were freed from Egypt wandering in the desert for 40 years,
but things that I read like that in the bible just make me think of how much of a horrible god this
being must be, just give them the land already, they have been waiting for it for a long ass time.
I have dabbled a little bit in reading the bible, but the spark is not there anymore with
that book. I feel discouraged from this lack of communication I have once had with the book,
but I still feel this connection with music and everything around me so it is not that big of a
deal. There is a whole sea of information out there that communicates with me which makes
my life a little more joyous day by day, this is a fact. I just don't want this world taken away
from me, all the girls in my mind, the entities, the delusions, just overall the connection I have
with this other world is what I need. Doctors and counselors can never understand how
important this world is to me, it is my everything and the only thing that they seem to do is try to
take it away from me which is beyond wrong. I hate the establishment and everything that
goes along with it, they are not your friends, they are fake, just there to make you believe they
are there to help. Police don't serve you, they are only after you for your money, that goes for a

lot of the counselors out there too. Some of them try to help, I'm not saying they are all drones
who just repeat the information they have learned from their schooling, but to be a good
counselor you need to be in that persons head you are treating and know the individual. This
is a big task if you have many case loads, I can see that, but it is the only way you are truly
going to help that individual.

There is one belief that has been radiating within my mind for quite some time. There
are many ideas as to what could have caused this fluctuation of consciousness which seems
to permeate within me. It was an idea I had a few years ago where everyone became "god" for
one day and was given their one wish. There are things about this world that appear to be
true, like whatever it is that you want you can achieve it if you just do that one thing you are
supposed to do in order to get it. This goes along with the idea that in order to move onto the
next phase of your transformation (to get your prize) you have to follow all these orders
brought about to you from the other side. This is such a tricky delusion because it causes you
to cause some massive chaos in this world. Your internal world takes on a form that is hell
bent on getting you to alter the world around you in any which way it can. My mission was to
just keep going and going within that world and in a way I got stuck like that. The only thing I
could do was more little missions that the entities had assigned for me that day. It was
actually a very euphoric feeling when I completed these tasks because there would be a
barrage of praise from the other world. The amount of glory that you are given from that world
when you are doing well is hard to understand. It is a feeling that you just can't help but crave
which causes you to be a junkie to this other reality. I began to think "what if I was supposed to
only be in this world for one day and somehow I got stuck as "god" for good". Oh how the
world would hate Dave Soderberg for fucking this one up. It's like I took years at figuring out
just one little thing that everyone else could figure out in one day. I had thoughts that everyone
was constantly perturbed at me for not figuring this "answer" out. This is really the reason why
I would believe myself to be such a huge moron around people. This really would make you
humble yourself, which is the complete opposite of having that masterful ego. I really hated
when this would come up in my mind, I don't like to feel like that huge of a moron.
I have decided that nobody could be so stupid as to believe that the whole world was
relying on them to answer a single question about this reality. I have answered so many
goddamn questions while being in this universe that it is just beyond silly to think that there is
one question which is above all else. Don't get me wrong though, I will still answer the
questions just the same because it can be fun for me, but it is one of those things where deep
inside me I know that there is no single one answer for a reality that is as perplexing as this. I
wish that there was a single answer for this heaven and hell that I live in, but that is what

makes it so interesting to me. It would be awesome if everyone was "god" for one day and
then it moved onto the next person once he got his happy ending, but hell no, that answer is
preposterous. In my reality I am this for good, and I will watch the world give me answers on a
continuous basis until I have ended with a glorious finally, which may or may not happen in this
lifetime.
The tower of Babel is an interesting phenomena that happened many years ago. I see
the power of god and wonder exactly what other tricks he may have up his sleeve. It is as if I
have multiple different answers on a regular basis as to what is happening within my world
and wonder if I got "tower of babeled" with some random spell that god passed. I really
wouldn't know what to call this, but I like to call it being Dave Soderberg'd, sounds legit. It is the
need to follow these forces within you and outside of you which seem to guide you down a
path which is so much like the abnormal that you are in an alternate reality. I live day to day
listening to the world around me as it shows me the way into the "heaven" which I believe to
be placed upon the world through time. If god can confuse language like he did at the tower of
babel, then I am sure he has some other tricks up his sleeve to get the rest of the world on
board with what I am seeing.
I question how much god will actually do for me, that is if I am really his son. Would god
part the seas for me and show me a new road to the promise land through his abilities to
change the world? I like to think so, but I also wonder how much that god truly loves me
because I am on a different level than him. Have I broken some boundary which leaves me in
a state where I will never get out of this entrapment within my psych, or does he still care that I
make it in this world and come up on top? I have many questions about this reality I live in, and
I am constantly trying to find the answers to these question which really should be considered
insane. The thing about being insane is that insanity is the most important question of them all.
I cannot rest until I answer this insanity which brings your down that road farther and farther. I
am given answers on a regular basis but they just do not suffice to the reality that I am trying
to create. Maybe I don't want to see the reality as it is and want to see the reality as my mind
wants it to be. Is it not possible that the reality that I see in the end could be way better than
whatever reality is trying to be placed in front of me? Maybe I really am gods unwanted child
which only wants his path and his path alone. This makes me believe that I think I know more
than god, which would make sense because as far as being a child in the family I am in now I
only want what I think is best for me. I want to be controlled by another as little as possible,
and it is quite possible that I am just so goddamn stubborn about the world that I want to live in
that I will reject anything god places in front of me as a better path.
I believe there to be a story of the prodigal son that is not talked about much. There is a

story where the path of the son is more fulfilling than the path of the father. This story may
have been changed along the way because the father will always have more control over what
is talked about than the son. The son will always have his fun, but the end result seems to
always end up on the side of the father. I want the fun, and the glorious ending where the son
proves the father wrong. Is it not possible that the story of the prodigal son can be applied to
Jesus and his father. What if the son "for once" knows more than the father and he just needed
a little more time to prove the father wrong. How far would that prodigal son go? I may take the
most stubborn son of all time to wait as long as he has to prove the father wrong. I look at
Christ, and then I look at the father, and all I see is a forgiving loving son and a father that
wants to destroy as he stubbornly refuses to give the things he promises. In my mind, I see a
son that wants to see a difference in his father who just so happens to be the ruler of all things.
Jesus will be the ruler of all heaven an earth as time goes on, but it is possible that this
stubborn god does not want to give up his thrown to easily, not until his son gets with his
program.
You can never judge what kind of child you will ever have. There is no preparation for a
new "king" and that is shown time and time again throughout history. The father is always
trying to mold the child to be the king that he wants him to be, but what happens when the son
is just so stuck on a reality which he "knows" will be better. Does the father ever want the son
to use his own ideas when they are so far from the world that he wanted. It is a conundrum
within the minds of the chosen, and it is hard to say what will come of it. I see it as giving a gift
to someone who really should not have been given that gift, but who is to say that it wasn't the
perfect thing in this world that needed to happen. We all know about the "great change" that
has been talked about for years now, but what oh what could that great change be. Could it be
the end of an era, a new beginning, something that has been in the works for many years?
I look back at the past 60 years and begin to wonder what that psychedelic movement
of the 60's and 70's was all about. What new level of consciousness had entered the world
when this all happened? The idea of man becoming "god" was somewhat new to us, Charles
Manson took on a level of consciousness which caused him to do mad things because of a
"delusion". It is sad to see a man caught up in a delusion and not see past it. There are many
things that could come of a belief, many ideas to be brought up around a bad idea, but some
people are just so hell bent on their own fantasy that there is no real end set in place except
for disaster. Many of the people who are considered mentally ill in this day and age start out
with some bizarre fantasy about a reality which they see to be perfect within themselves. My
reality was a little more complicated because I didn't want things. I am the type of person who
is happy with just my computer and clothes, I need little to be satisfied with. Riches and
woman sound wonderful, don't get me wrong, but the glory of humanity is not what I wanted. I

did want to be above all things, that is hard to ignore, but it was never in the way that my mind
showed me. I knew deep down that there was a different reality, one which ended with what I
wanted, but it was a slower and more difficult task.
Patience is a virtue, and it is very much so needed in a person who is working on
changing the world. I know that I can change the way people perceive certain things, but in
actuality I am after one end goal. I want to change the way that people perceive the reality of
the mentally ill. It is something that I am after more than any other goal, and in time it will
happen. There is a reality that exists right next to this one and a lot of people accidentally
access it. This is prominent within the world and it is sad that western medicine has been
given a crack at it because they are so clueless about this other reality that it makes me, and a
majority of the population of the world sick. Who has more money though? We listen to the
ones who are banking and neglect the ones who are not, which is causing this world to have
an imbalance. People talk about Satan, but few actually understand what he does.
There is an illusion around the world which causes the people who appear less
important (poor) are given less input towards the world when there are others who have bank
that appear to have more influence in the world. This is what controls the world, an idea that
pieces of paper are worth more than the thought of geniuses that permeate around the world
on a day to day basis. We believe that the ones who are truly special will rise above the rest,
but how often is that actually true. I know some geniuses, and they mostly just want to be left
alone so they can be involved in their own thoughts. They care less about rising to the top, all
they care about is being in their own minds and cracking codes in this world that otherwise
would not have been tampered with. Geniuses don't care about jack shit except tooting their
own ego within, and the occasional rant on a website where they can get a little bit of glory for
their outcome of a certain internal discussion they have produced over the past few months.
I read stories of people who are mad scientists or literary geniuses and all I hear is that
they hate being bothered. They start to hate people, want to be left alone at all measures
availed. The problem with the genius is that their mind is always up to something beyond the
normal and they can't help but find it. The thing about people is that they are just trying to live
as most people would normally live around that genius. The genius cannot help but become
the genius with his thoughts and the interruptions that the people around him constantly give
him cause him to become angry with everyone. In a sense, the genius begins to hate the world
around him, but at the same time he wants to show the world a new beauty that would change
it. It would be wonderful if one man could break the world as it is known and usher in a new
renaissance of glory which has never been seen before. These are the dreams of a brilliant
mind and it is something that a brilliant mind can't help but try to do.

Maybe I am not brilliant, maybe I am just beyond psychotic. The reality that I see fit for
humanity is nothing more than a dream that cannot be comprehended by those around me
because it is just so goddamn stupid. That would be an interesting ending to this reality I live in
"hey, Dave Soderberg is just fuckin retarded" and the news would permeate around the world
as everyone gets in line with his stupidity. I think this would be pretty funny actually, but it is
not probable with an ending of reality as bizarre as mine. Who in their right mind could not see
that something bigger was not happening? It is easy for society to see what you have become
and label you as crazy or unfit for society, but it is another thing to see what is actually
happening within an individual and not see that there is some substance to it.
The Truman Show delusion was quite a powerful one for me. It is very hard to get away
from it because it is such a powerful experience. It is the belief that everything is just a big set
up. Your friends and family are all fake, and their are cameras everywhere watching you which
the whole world is watching. This one went hand in hand with my Mila Kunis delusion because
it was the ultimate story of time. The story where the girl and the man meet for the first time
and become ultimately glorious in that reality together. It's not like Mila was the only one, there
were many, and it all had to do with the happy ending which would be televised all over the
world. The ultimate show of all time, something that only happens once a year with a special
person who has been chosen. It all started around the time I noticed that other people were
doing the strange things I was doing alone. All of it really, just me doing crazy things alone in
my house, but others seemed to be doing the same things I was doing. I really couldn't put it
together other than thinking that there were people everywhere watching my moves. What
rational explanation could you have for people repeating the things you do alone in your
apartment?
They fucking knew, they always knew what I was doing. Every slight motion, every flip
of the card, just everything that had become the Dave Soderberg they knew. This caused a
conflict within my mind, I needed to know why. What in this world would cause all these people
to mock me everywhere I went? Could they all just be fucking with me? The world had flipped
upside down, and here I am doing drugs beyond recreation and watching the chaos unfold
around me. I loved so much, needed much more, with every day I wanted to see another bit of
chaos unfold around me which could point me further and further into the truth of insanity
which was being created. I would learn if it was truth or learn if it was wrong because at the
time it was just learning. It was all understanding of something much bigger, something that
could guide me and my friends into a new beginning.
I have been having some epiphanies for a while now and I cannot shut them off. I look

at the world through eyes abandoned by the majority just so I can get a better understanding
of the reality of one who is "outside the box". There are problems that I am seeing from this
point of view within the mind and I just can't stop thinking about it. I look at the thoughts that
spontaneously erupt in the mind which distract you from your general thoughts. When you
"think" it is like a train, a train of thought, this train will lead you to all sorts of new
understandings and beliefs, but I have noticed that there is a creepy entry to this train. It is as if
I have this disorder called ADHD. There is always this random thought that is brought in that
has nothing to do with what I am actually talking about which leads me onto a new train of
thought. The new train can be very interesting which is why it is so hard to not listen to it. My
mind can take me into all sorts of areas and each one is more interesting than the first, but I
question whether or not there are other forces at work within this system. I have been given
the idea of the "great deceiver" time and time again. I am always fearing that there is some
external force that is coming into my thoughts and taking over. Is it possible that there is some
great force working on my mind that wants to keep me from understanding this great puzzle
which is my mind? There are always more and more pieces to the puzzle, and I do deal with it
quite well, but when you are given a piece of information like this you can't help but battle your
own thoughts.
There is an occurrence within my mind that will just not let go. This all started when I
started thinking about the concept that all your thoughts are not your own. This is a heavy
thing for the schizophrenics, a heavy thing for the minds of us that just can't seem to maintain a
normality that the rest of the world wants us to see. The schizophrenic will see the mind as an
"open book", it is as if anyone can come in and tamper with it. Many times we look to our
external world for the culprit, but this time I am looking at possible entities to be the puppet
masters behind my bending of thought. What interests me about all this is that each and every
thought has a certain feeling behind it, as if they are different in many ways. The obvious
intruding thoughts are the ones which feel the most like an outside source, but how can you be
so sure that every thought is not intrusive or not. I look at the mind as it feels and wonder how
distorted the feelings could be in your mind. An example is that as I wrote that last sentence I
had a voice come through my mind and it took over all thought within my consciousness.
These thoughts have a lot of feeling to them because they literally come out of no where and
there is nothing that you can do with a sudden surprise like that except listen to it. You
immediately feel something for it which causes the thought to anchor within yourself and drag
you somewhere else. It is this constant guidance that will fuel you and destroy you, but either
way, you just can't help but follow it because of how intriguing it is in this new reality of a mind
which, according to medical science, is schizophrenia.
There are other things within the mind that I wonder about on a regular basis. There

are the thoughts that intrude, and then there are the thoughts that just flow. Separating the
thoughts that flow from the thoughts that intrude can be EXTREMELY difficult because how
can you know if it wasn't a lingering intrusive thought. Can you break down this system within
your mind to actually make sense of it on a level that others could understand? I have tried to
break it down within my mind, but those outside sources of information will be just as crazy as
a distraction as your mind will be. Back to the present, my father just interrupted me as I was
writing that last sentence which caused me to lose my train of thought. When I came back to
my writing I had no where to start and got confused. You really gotta understand the mind as it
is and how these outside disturbances can be so annoying to you. I know it is not their fault,
but I can't help but wonder if the "great deceiver" has a hold of them and is causing me to lose
track of some vital information that I was just about to pull up in my mind.
I look at the "great deceiver" in many ways and wonder how he could be influencing my
book. I jump around a lot within my writing because of the constant distraction. This might
cause people to not like the way I write and detour them from the information I am giving them.
Maybe it is a plot of that demonic force that is ever so prevalent within my life to get people to
stop reading. I wonder at times whether there is information within my mind which could save a
person who is struggling with this "disorder". How many of us have struggled with this and not
spoken about the power of it over you? I like to think that I am unique and am a better schizo
than others, but that is meaningless within this world of psychiatry. There are those who flow
and those who just can't stop shutting it off. There are those who seriously DO NOT GIVE A
FUCK, and those who CARE WAY TOO MUCH. You really have to look at that dynamic,
because if you want to really achieve great things, you have to not care about what is known
about your internal mind. We can talk about the great judgment on man from god, which is
cruel and beautiful, but then you have to wonder about how the world around you judges. If
you can seriously not give a fuck and accept you as you, and your internal fantasies as
completely normal, you have a step up on the great judgment concept. "Only god can judge
me" I really do hate that tattoo, you have no idea what it is like to be judged by god. Imagine
"god" being an entity which adheres every personality of every friend you have ever had and
they all judge you at once! That is the feeling you get when you are judged by "god", you will
be wishing to be judged by that one person you could never ask to judge you.
The thought of Charles Manson is prominent within me because I understand a
beautiful mind which can be swept away by the chaos of the world. It is not that the ideas are
not brilliant in their own way, it is that the conclusions can be so tragic. An idea for a glorious
ending is always on the mind of the gifted, but throughout that time you have to deal with a
barrage of other possibilities which could be devastating. There are so many different arenas
for thought, but many of them lead you down the roads which end in a way which you just

should have predicted in the first place. The common problem with these minds is that you
don't see the world like the rest of people do. You see it as an endgame of possible
probabilities which could end in your beauty, or end in your demise. What other possible
possibilities could charlie have been thinking about, that is where my mind wanders. There is
no end goal with a beautiful mind as much as there is a strategy to get there.
The strategy to get to your place of perfection is where you need to focus. It is an act of
patience, which is the ultimate source of love. If you are not patient you will never have the end
goal. It is the ones who rush it, the ones who see an end and have to push to get that end. I
have seen myself as many things, and overall, I believe myself to be a talented critical thinker
with something to show the world. I can at least look at mental illness and give you a good idea
as to what it is all about. But really, watermelons in a sink to start a war against the blacks and
whites? Genius flows through many of the gifted, but some are just so fuckin stupid that you
can't help but wish the world would never associate you with. Fuckin Charles Manson, that
swine who got hooked on the glory of fame and let it take his head so he did nothing but
thrived for power. Psychedelics do things to the mind which can be beautiful, or you could be
giving a substance to a mind which is at breaking point...
I see my mind as curious, to say the least, just how I am. I can't help but wonder what
that extra point of drugs in my vein could cause, especially psychedelics. I could talk about the
mind all day, but what is it about the mind that is so interesting. I can tell you, for sure, that it
has nothing to do with the nonsense that psychiatrists will tell you about brain chemistry and its
inner workings. None of that information is worth my time really. I want to know about DMT,
the molecule that just rides through your mind in a glorious way as you access your DNA and
see a beauty that your mind creates. What is it about that beauty that is so intriguing to you? In
my opinion, there are channels created in your brain in which your DNA engraves at birth so
you can understand your situation a little bit better. It is as if you have the answers in your
mind at all times and it is just YOU that needs to access it and show it to the world. Society
does not like my understanding of this, or at least doctors don't, because that would discredit
everything any doctor ever said about my mind to give an actual understanding.

My mind behaves differently than the average person. There is a part of my mind that
creates an image or scenario about a certain moment in my thoughts and I just can't
understand why on earth my brain would randomly put that there. There is always a glorious
moment within my mind where I realize that maybe I am not completely along within my
thoughts. It's a reality perplexing and mesmerizing all in one as I lie out my day to day life
wondering who could have broken into my thoughts. I am just obsessed with finding the

answer and because of this it is as if I will accept any answer a person gives to me out loud. I
have questioned my mind a lot and have had some thoughts on this "need for an answer". I
see my mind as always questioning, always wanting more and more information, so it may be
possible that my mind could change itself to actually accept all these random words as
answers. I see it like my brain could hear a person say "fix the sink" as an answer to me
wondering if masturbation is right or wrong. How my brain is able to do this is what intrigues
me though, it is "as if" it is always "as if" and that is my brain.
I have been looking at the lie of psychiatry for quite some time. I have seen the lie in
action, and I see the projectors of this lie, but why is it still followed? How could a lie be
followed, that is the question, and there are many answers. A society which appears to want to
know so much about the truth of the world would appear to want to discredit lies, or so we
would think. There is another arena of thought that I see, which is the idea that a thought could
be so overwhelming that it would allow a society to run off from the legitimate train of thought
to a train of thought that would profit the individual who originally had this idea. I mean, what
person would want their idea to be powerful over the masses and send the world into a
direction of their own? What idea could be so powerful that would make humanity see it in a
light that would discredit everything that they have always known. What society would look at
everything they have ever learned about dreams, society, and myths and discredit everything
because we have an idea about the brain? Who in their right mind would influence humanity to
move away from understanding and abide to speculation about how this or that part of the
brain works?
I hate the little things people say about the brain. The idea that you only use 10 percent
of your brain is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I want to see people prove this,
show me that you only use this small part of your brain on a day to day basis. I can see that we
only use parts of our brain at a time, but to think that we only use this small portion all the time
is ridiculous. Lets say that I use this part of my brain for this, and that part of my brain for that,
and in the end we have a percentage of the brain that we use. I can agree with 10 percent of
the brain because we are using only portions of the brain, but to think we only use 10 percent
of the brain in general is completely ludicrous. If you think about the question and the answer
you will have a better understanding as to what is thought and what they want you to think.
The world is full of a bunch of people that want you to think in certain ways. You are
constantly flooded with what "they" want and it is hard to understand what you want. The
programming is ridiculous to this world and we follow it obediently without really understanding
it. Everything that we hear on the radio, the news, billboards, video games, and the television
is placed there as a distraction. The "great deceiver" works through all things and you can't

help but follow it everywhere you go. You gotta wonder when you are on a certain thought and
the world just kinda throws you off so you don't exactly get that end conclusion for it. I am not
sure if the "great deceiver" is an actual being who plays me or if it is some sort of energy that
has to be there to provoke your thought. It appears that it is doing something, but what it is
actually there for could be beyond my actual comprehension of it. It is the ying and the yang in
a more complex form. It is the idea of god and satan and their stories to make you perceive the
duality in a different way. We want to see it as something concrete, but in actuality it could be
something more complex than our human minds could comprehend. I just can't accept that
though because if it is there, than it is observable to your mind to try and figure it out. I have to
go by the idea that everything which is presented to the mind can be figured out, only because
if it wasn't than I would have never gone this far.
The constant need to keep thinking is very prevalent within the community of the
schizophrenics and in my opinion that should be reason enough to get social security. I don't
think the modern man could ever understand what it is like to be constantly provoked by
thought to the point where you can't do anything else in this world accept think. It is a force,
worse than drug addiction, that causes you to need to leave society so that you can be
involved with your own thoughts on a day to day basis. My idea about it is outside the ideas of
the normal. For a person with this condition you would think that they need to try to adjust to
society and learn to live without this constant need for satisfaction. I am fully addicted to my
own brain and what it can do for me, I am constantly needing a satisfaction from my mind, a
reward system which is given to me over and over again. The more I think, the higher I get,
and there is no drug that can top it. I do enjoy to use drugs because they cause me to think
about different parts of my mind, but it is not the high from the drug that I crave. I just want to
be intrigued by my thoughts more and more from the drugs that I use. Once you have
abandoned the ideas of drugs getting you high and accepted that you can take control of your
own brain and get you higher, do you actually succeed in some form of development within
your human consciousness.
There are many faculties which cause problems throughout this process though. You
begin to see the people around you as something different than they once were. They are no
longer just your friends and peers, but they are an additive to the system which is stewing
within your own mind. Each and every piece of information that they project out into this world
will guide you along a track. This track becomes constantly changed and you are left with a
clusterfuck of information which you are not sure if you should follow. I cannot tell you to follow
it or not, but I will tell you that your mind is leaving you a trail of clues as you go along the way
to get you to a point where you can discover that "one" thought that just keeps bothering you.

Each and every person has questions within their mind, and they are important. You
cannot reject your soul searching questions, but you need to understand that they will be given
to you in time. When you are stuck on a question you begin to find the answers for that
question everywhere you go, which could lead you to lies about it. Lies are prominent within
this world and once you can distinguish between your lies you are on a better track. One point
of advice I can give you is that you should watch for your own "tells". When you are about to
say something or think something you are unsure about, you should realize that random itch
you are about to scratch or that gulp in your throat. These little nervous issues will help you a
long way once you realize them.
I had an event happen the other day that I can't help but think about. I think about
"Satan" and his influence on the world regularly. I was walking down the stairs and was led
into a discussion about the "great deceiver" and couldn't help but think deeply about it as I
walked down the stairs. As I turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs I had a prolific
moment. I thought about Satan as he is and a statue of Jesus connected with my eyes at the
same time. This connection makes me wonder what I should follow. The distraction of the
"great deceiver" will confuse you no matter what you do.

The interesting fact about the great deceiver is he brings you conundrums. He will
enter your mind no matter what you do and to get him out is an atrocity. There is a part of me
that likes the temptation of thought which steers me.
It is hard to observe the world through the eyes of a being who has a problem with
distractions and fetishes. The mind is a complicated thing and we are together again with the
idea that there are many more people in my mind than I once thought. This will bring up
feelings of fear within me when I am around the people I love. Not a chance
Fuck grammar, convey thought in smarter ways