English

Location
3rd para.,
page 5

No.

English text string

1.

she could develop

unbelievable
force/konnte sie
unwahrscheinliche
Krfte entwickeln
always gawked
2nd para.,
out of her window page 6

2.
3.

Hucky peered
through door

1st para.,
page 8

4.

They talked about

the fuses which
constantly
Lilli stood up and
disappeared

2nd para.,
page 11

Falk looked to the

spaz
Maybe you'll just
stop by couple of
times for
breakfast
Hucky stood in the
kitchen, doing the
dishes,

2nd para.,
page 14
2nd para.,
page 14

9.

an open shirt/ein
offenes Hemd

4th para.,
page 16

10.

it matted to
dreadlocks/und
sie verfilzten zu
Dreadlocks
Especially since he
owed her 250
marks.

3rd para.,
page 17

5.

6.
7.

8.

11.

4th para.,
page 11

1st para.,
page 15

3rd para.,
page 18

Explanation

Suggested Edit

"Force" is rather a word for she could

physical constants. Also an develop
unusual collocation here.
unbelievable
strength
Idiom is out the window
in Am. Eng., and weve
been consistent.
through door is missing
the definite article
fuses which requires a
preceding comma in Am.
English, or a that
disappeared is overused.
When someone suddenly
disappears, to vanish
better conveys the
concept.
The correct preposition is
at
stop by couple of times is
missing the indefinite
article.
In Hucky stood in the
kitchen, doing the comma
should disappear before
doing as it creates a
parenthetical text
open shirt sounds vague.
The piece of garment is
mostly known as an openneck shirt and variants.
it [hair] matted to
dreadlocks doesnt sound
idiomatically well
conveyed
since here sounds
ambiguous as from the
date or because. It is

always gawked
out her window
Hucky peered
through the
door
They talked
about the fuses
that constantly
Lilli stood up and
vanished

Falk looked at
the spaz
Maybe you'll just
stop by a couple
of times for
breakfast
Hucky stood in
the kitchen
doing the dishes,
an open-neck
shirt OR an
open-necked
shirt.
it became
matted into
dreadlocks
mainly because
he owed her 250
marks

English
Location

No.

English text string

12.

He had come to
get the piano and
had brought
carrying straps

1st para.,
page 20

13.

Need to stop by at
welfare

2nd para.,
page 20

14.

and mathematics

15.

she had forgotten

the text

7th para.,
page 22
5th para.,
page 24

16.

It started to
drizzle, and they
tried to hoist

7th para.,
page 24

17.

vegetables, fruit,
eggs, bread and
knick-knack
Hucky looked out
of the window
Hucky still stood
at his window

1st para.,
page 31

20.

a stand with
sanding machines

1st para.,
page 51

21.

A salesman

3rd para.,

18.
19.

2nd para.,
page 31
1st para.,
page 35

Explanation
the latter.
to get is incorrect here
because he had come to
get help to bring it, not
to take it anywhere.
Actually the original uses
the prep. wegen. To not
combine two instances of
to bring, a periphrasis
would help.
welfare should add
Admin or Services for
clarification, or at least be
capitalized to match the
brevity of Sozi.
mathematics is known in
the U.S. simply as math
the text is a literal
translation

Suggested Edit
He had come to
get help to bring
the piano with
the aid of
carrying straps
OR similar

Need to stop by
at Welfare

and math
she had
forgotten the
lyrics
It started to
drizzle as they
tried to hoist

and as a conjunction for

simultaneous actions
should be replaced by as
without a comma
bread and knick-knack
vegetables, fruit,
require the Oxford comma. eggs, bread, and
knick-knack
out of the window as
out the window
explained in 2.
Am Fenster stehen can
Hucky still stood
take either preposition
by his window
at as in at ones
window or by as by
ones window. The latter
stresses adjacency as is
usually the case
throughout the book.
sanding machines are
a stand with
most commonly known in
sanders
industry as sanders
salesman is nowadays
An associate

No.
22.
23.

walked through

English
Location
page 51

"My God," said

the granny
she stood five feet
away and waited

1st para.,
page 69
7th para.,
page 70

English text string

Explanation
referred to as associate

25.

others on crates in 4th para.,

the hold
page 74

26.

had been taken

into custody,
some of them
Suddenly, sirens,
and flashing lights

1st para.,
page 77
1st para.,
page 82

My God is usually
interjected Oh, my God
and waited is better
conveyed by a progressive
form.
the hold is more for
ships. Cargo bay ot
cargo area will do.
into custody, some of
them requires a period for
the pause.
Not a series. Second
comma may go.

28.

the compartment
wall and panted

4th para.,
page 83

and panted is taking

place at the moment.

29.

gentle as a lamb
and caressed
He sat the water
canister down in
Hucky sat down in
the rocking chair
and rocked back
and forth which
had a calming
effect on him
A baking tin with
apple

1st para.,
page 85
4th para.,
page 89
4th para.,
page 91

and caressed is in
progress.
The verb to put is more
natural.
Paragraph reads very
repetitious. Some
rearrangement could help.

5th para.,
page 91

33.

It would be a riot,
to find them

5th para.,
page 95

34.

then came a
photo on

1st para.,
page 113

35.

Diagonally behind
Falk sat Plum

1st para.,
page 116

baking tin is more known

as baking sheet or
cookie sheet in Am. Eng.
Perhaps a young American
rocker would say kickass
fun to come up with
Mordsgaudi
photo should be
picture as a syn.
sometimes
The adverb diagonally as
in schrg setzen is less

24.

27.

30.
31.

32.

Suggested Edit

Oh, my God
she stood five
feet away while
waiting OR
others on crates
in the cargo area
had been taken
into custody.
Some of them
Suddenly, sirens
and flashing
lights
the
compartment
wall, panting
gentle as a lamb
as she caressed
He put the water
canister in
Hucky sat down
in the rocking
chair. This
motion had a
soothing effect
on him
A baking sheet
with apple
It would be
kickass fun to
find them
then came a
picture on
at an angle
behind Falk sat

English
Location

No.

English text string

36.

and crystal clear

solos

1st para.,
page 117

37.

from the second

hand shop where
then she would
look alright
Hucky stopped
playing, Kugelblitz
and Plum as well

1st para.,
page 119
3rd para.,
page 122
1st para.,
page 129

40.

Cause it sucks

41.

reading a
newspaper,
beside him
the store and
looked annoyed
Youre crazy

7th para.,
page 136
1st para.,
page 146

38.
39.

42.
43.

3rd para.,
page 151
4th para.
Page 155

44.

He had also never

eaten truffles

3rd para.,
page 156

45.

their emergency
bell which could
gnawing on a
drum bone

1st para.,
page 161
5th para.,
page 165

47.

and eyes closed,

otherwise

3rd para.,
page 166

48.

Hick

2nd para.,

46.

Explanation
idiomatic.
crystal clear is one
concept that needs
hyphenation
shop should be store
for consistency
alright is wrong spelling
A period is required for the
pause with some
rephrasing also
Cause might use an
apostrophe
newspaper, beside him
requires a period for the
pause in between
and looked annoyed is a
progressive form.
Adjective crazy is
overused. Some synonyms
replace it here and there.
After a negation comes
either
bell which requires a
comma
Because we all know a
duck was served, wouldnt
roast leg or drumstick
be better than drum
bone?
closed, otherwise
requires a period for the
pause
The onomatopoeia for
hiccup is not hick which
is a rustic peasant, a
country bumpkin

Suggested Edit
Plum
crystal-clear
from the secondhand store
then she would
look all right
Hucky stopped
playing. So did
Kugelblitz and
Plum
'Cause
reading a
newspaper.
Beside him
the store,
looking annoyed
Youre nuts
He had never
eaten truffles,
either
their emergency
bell, which could
gnawing on a
crispy leg OR
gnawing on a
duck leg
and eyes closed.
Otherwise
Hic