MeNTORING

FROM STaRT TO FINISH

HOW TO START AND MAINTAIN A HEALTHY
MENTORING PROGRAM FOR TEENAGERS

TaMI WRIGHT &

DR.GRaNT T.BYRD
WITH DOUG FIeLDS

CD INCLUDED JR. HIGH 10-13

an ad ult lead er r eso u r c e

REPRODUCIBLE HIGH SCHOOL 14-18
D EV ELO P M ENT
COLLEGE 19-26
MeNTORING
FROM STaRT TO FINISH
HOW TO START AND MAINTAIN A HEALTHY
MENTORING PROGRAM FOR TEENAGERS

TaMI WRIGHT &

DR.GRaNT T.BYRD
WITH DOUG FIeLDS
Mentoring from Start to Finish
How to Start and Maintain a Healthy Mentoring Program for Teenagers

Copyright 2010 Simply Youth Ministry

Visit our website: simplyyouthministry.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner
whatsoever without prior written permission from the publisher, except where noted
in the text and in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and
reviews. For information, e-mail Permissions at inforights@group.com, or write
Permissions, Group Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 481, Loveland, CO 80539.

Credits
Authors: Tami Wright, Dr. Grant T. Byrd, and Doug Fields
Executive Developer: Nadim Najm
Chief Creative Ofcer: Joani Schultz
Assistant Editor: Rob Cunningham
Cover Art Director: Veronica Lucas
Designer: Veronica Lucas
Production Manager: DeAnne Lear

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the LIVE Holy
Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission
of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10
Printed in the United States of America.
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART ONE - THE STRATEGY

MULTIPLYING YOUR IMPACT
Introduction 5
What is Mentoring? 9
Biblical Foundation 11
Mentors in the Bible 12
One Familys Story 17
Mentor Testimonies 19
Student Testimonies 20

CREATING THE PROGRAM

Dening Your Purpose 21
Structuring Your Program 25
Answering Parents Questions 29
Peer-to-Peer Options 31
Supporting the Program 32

RUNNING THE PROGRAM

Your First Mentor Match 33
Characteristics of a Healthy Mentor 36
Recruiting Mentors 38
Screening Mentors and Other Legal Issues 42
Training Mentors 47
Finding Students 58
Matching Students With Mentors 60
Beyond Matchmaking 64
Valuing Your Mentors 68
Evaluating Success 70

CONCLUSION 72

TABLe OF CONTeNTS
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART TWO - PRACTICAL TOOLS AND RESOURCES

RESOURCES FOR CREATING THE PROGRAM
Purpose Statement and Guidelines 79
Icebreaker Questions for Mentors 81
Sample 10-Week Study 83

FINDING THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Mentor Application 97
Mentor Interview with Guidelines 109
Mentor Commitment 115
Mentor Reference Form 116
Mentor Covenant 118

TRAINING TOOLS
The How-To Booklet 119
Things You and Your Teenager Can Do Together 123
How to Share God With Your Teenager 125
The Art of Asking Questions 127
Helping Teenagers and Families in Crisis 128

OTHER FORMS
Parent Afrmation 130
Parent Letter 131
Application Letter 133
Application for a Mentor 134
Monthly Mentor Report 136

TABLe OF CONTeNTS
 LETTER FROM TAMI & GRANT
Mentoring is BIG today but it isnt a new idea. The Bible is full of mentors and mentees! Jesus
spent his time on earth mentoring a small group of guys to impact the world. You can multiply
your ministry by unleashing men, women, and teenagers to mentor students one by one!

Starting a mentoring ministry isnt rocket science, but it sure can feel overwhelming to think
about starting this effort to reach the youth in your church. Thats why this resource was
writtento give you start-to-nish practical help on running a ministry that might have more
impact on your youth than any other event or program.

A one-on-one relationship with a caring and faith-lled adult can make a world of difference
to a young person. Showing love, offering a listening ear, having fun, sharing real faith, and
helping them see their purpose in lifethese are but a few of the life-changing gifts mentors
give their mentees.

We dont pretend to be experts at this, but weve learned enough through our years of working
with mentoring programs to help others learn from successes AND failures. Keep in mind, your
church size doesnt matter. In fact, we urge you to do a mentor program whether you have no
youth ministry or a huge one. And heres some good news for youth pastors: You dont need
to budget for thisother than funds for a few photocopies and some cookies and coffee for
mentor meetings.

We hope you nd this resource useful and effective. It was written for both youth pastors (like
Grant) and church volunteers (like Tami)anyone who has a heart for teenagers and loves
God. Passionately search for adults in your congregation who can provide lasting and valuable
friendships to your churchs young people and your communitys teenagers and who will at the
same time reap more blessings than you can possibly imagine!

Tami Wright is the volunteer coordinator of Mentoring on Purpose at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, California. She
and her husband, Larry, have worked as volunteer youth ministry leaders over the yearsLarry tting right in with
the students and Tami trying to provide some structure! They have two daughters, Amy married to Philip and Mandi
married to Erin, and a grandson, Caleb. Tami is passionate about serving God, helping teenagers, and spending time
with Caleb!

Dr. Grant T. Byrd is the Minister with Students at 1st Baptist Church of McKinney, Texas. He is the minister with
not to or of, because the students at the church serve alongside him! Grant has been in student ministry for
more than 25 years. He has an incredibly beautiful wife (Jill) who has put up with him for 20 years, a teenage boy
(Keegan) who keeps him honest, and a wonderful daughter (Darby) who wants to be a teenager TODAY! Grant is
passionate about Jesus, his family, teenagers, and the Dallas Cowboys!

MeNTORING FROM STaRT TO FINISH 1

 LETTER FROM DOUG
Dear youth ministry friend,

Thank you so much for caring so deeply about teenagers and knowing whats so vitally
important and rewarding. Im grateful for your leadership!

In my opinion, there are few things as rewarding within youth ministry as seeing teenagers
become young adults who OWN their faithjust writing that gets me excited! Im not sure
many things in ministry can compare!

I think every youth worker wants to see teenagers maintain a vibrant relationship with God and
be a committed follower of Jesus as they grow older. Unfortunately, this isnt happening in the
large numbers that wed like. I dont have all of the answers, but I do know one of the answers
is to develop a team of caring adults who eagerly mentor and spend time with teenagers and
rsthand demonstrate what it means to be a mature follower of Jesus.

So many teenagers lack strong role models in their lives, and even the most loving parents often
feel overwhelmed as they strive to raise Christ-like kids in todays culture. The church has an
opportunityand an obligationto focus its efforts on strengthening families. When a mentor
comes alongside to offer support and encouragement not only does the teenager benet, but
so does the rest of the family. Hows that for a win-win situation? In fact, throw in some more
wins because of how the mentoring relationship helps the mentor and inspires growth and
depth within the body of Christ!

Thats just one of the reasons why Im so excited about this resource from Tami Wright
and Grant Byrd. They know what theyre talking about! Years ago I asked Tami to develop a
mentoring program that would surround our youth ministry. I desperately wanted it, but I didnt
have the time to develop and lead it. Tami did and she did it as a volunteer. Shes amazing!
Also amazing is Dr. Grant Byrd! Dont let the Dr. fool youhes a full-time youth worker who
is just really smartone of the nicest and respected youth workers I know who is serving kids,
families, and the church in Dallas. Together, Tami and Grant will guide you as you consider
the purpose of a mentoring program, how this kind of program can make a huge difference
in your church and community, and what it takes to get things started. This is tremendously
helpful material!

2 MeNTORING FROM STaRT TO FINISH

Id encourage you to read this material with a team of leaders or parents. Find at least one other
person with a similar passion for seeing teenagers become young adults who own their faith.
This material is ready for your leadership to adapt it to your setting. If youve ever used any
of Simply Youth Ministrys Start to Finish resources, you know that youll nd these pages
stuffed with practical ideas based on years of experience with mentoring ministries. Youll be
ready to go!

Im praying that God will help your mentoring ministry impact the lives of countless teenagers
and families in your community!

Blessings,

Doug Fields
Old Youth Pastor & Founder of Simply Youth Ministry

MeNTORING FROM STaRT TO FINISH 3

 INTRODUCTION
MULTIPLYING YOUR IMPACT

A Quick Note
WeTami and Granteach bring unique experiences to the
tableTami coordinating a traditional adult-to-teenager program
and Grant incorporating a peer-to-peer program. Weve collaborated
on this resource to offer you greater insight and wisdom on creating
a healthy mentoring program for your youth ministry. In most cases,
weve used we to talk about our ideas, suggestions, and stories.
In a few instances, youll see I (Tami) or a third-person reference.
This simply highlights a unique experience or insight from our past.

Youre already a role

We dont know your specic story. You might be a youth pastor or a model for your students.
volunteer or a parent. But we think we know a few things about you. You have incredible
Youre passionate about seeing teenagers grow in their faith. Youre inuence on teenagers
committed to developing a quality youth ministry. Youre excited lives. A mentoring
about seeing young people discover Gods purpose for their lives. program can expand
and increase that
inuence!
If thats you, keep reading. If thats not youwell, keep reading
anyway! God clearly has a plan for your life if this book has ended
up in your hands! Mentoring offers you an opportunity to multiply
the impact of your youth ministry by investing in mentors who will
invest in the lives of teenagers in your church and community.

Mentoring is a valuable experience. In recent years, many books

and websites have been devoted to the contribution of mentoring
mentoring in the workplace, mentoring between women, mentoring
students at school, mentoring youth in the community.

Theres a spiritual benet from healthy mentoring, too: A mentor

can bring out the best in you and help you achieve Gods unique
mission for your life. They help you keep growingin your roles,
your goals, and your soul (Rick Warren).

MeNTORING FROM STaRT TO FINISH 5

 But is there a place within your youth ministry for mentoring? Why
set up a mentoring program if you already have a vibrant youth
program? Why bother if you have wonderful small groups for your
teenagers?

How can you possibly add another activity to your already

overworked youth ministry team? How can a mentoring ministry t
into the current structure?

Who can start this ministry? Who will support it? Who will serve as
mentors, and how will you nd the students who can benet from a
one-on-one relationship with a Christian adult in your church?
TIP
Take a few minutes to
think about some of Why bother? Weve found that whether you are a small rural church
the reasons kids might or a huge urban congregation, you have teenagers who dont feel
not feel comfortable in comfortable in the mainstream youth groupfor a wide range
a youth group or might of reasons. But these young people still need the attention and
need more attention. nurture of a church community.
Discuss the topic over
lunch with your key I (Tami) wasnt surprised by what I found as we launched a
leaders and parents. mentoring program within the Saddleback Church high school
What additional ministry. I had seen the same need in other churches, small and
proactive steps could large. I found students disconnected from the mainstream youth
you take to make program who needed a Christian adult to come alongside them
your youth ministry and be their friend and encourager. I found students who needed
more welcoming, some extra one-on-one interaction with a caring adulteven if
loving, accepting, and those students already were involved in a small group. I found
effective? parents who were desperate for help in getting their teenagers
involved in church. I found youth workers who cared deeply for their
students and saw value in referring them to the mentoring program
for additional support. I found that we could all work together to
support these young people God had placed in our care.

In all churches, you nd alienated youth. It cant be blamed solely

on the youth ministry itself or the individual student. You nd a
thousand different reasons why students remain disconnected or
distant. We can ll the gap with caring mentors for these students

6 MeNTORING FROM STaRT TO FINISH

who otherwise would fall through that gap. And we can offer added
value to those students who are already active in the mainstream
youth group.

WHO will benet?

Everyone benets: students, their parents, the youth staff, the
mentors, and the entire congregation.
TIP
WHO will launch and lead this program? How familiar are you
Well, it could be one of your current leaders or it could be someone with the spiritual gifts
else in your congregation who has a heart for teenagers, loves God, and talents of your
and can devote time to the programs growth and development. Your current leaders? A youth
ideal person would probably have the gift of administration! ministry that multiplies
its impact is a youth
WHO will the mentors be? ministry with people
They should be people from your church who have a heart for serving where theyre
teenagers and a love for God. Weve found that adults are usually best gifted to serve.
the best mentors, but we also have seen mature teenagers become
effective mentors to their peers and to younger students. You
may nd yourself drawn to a structure that includes this peer-to-
peer dynamic, which can empower and release your teenagers to
discover, develop, and use their spiritual gifts and abilities.

WHO will the students be? TIP

Your answer will reect your priorities as a church and youth Be wise. Dont chart
ministry. In a large congregation, you might keep it limited to the course for your
students who either attend your church or whose parents attend. mentoring program
You probably have teenagers who are falling through the cracks. But without input from your
your focus may be on the teenagers in your surrounding community, senior pastor and other
or it may be a hybrid of students from your congregation and key leaders in your
from your community. Thats a decision for you and your church congregationunless
leadership to make. you want to diminish
your credibility and
cripple the program
before its even out of
the gates.

MeNTORING FROM STaRT TO FINISH 7

 This book will address many of the how to questions for creating
a mentoring program. God will prove himself faithful as you
go through some learning experiences in the rst years of your
program. There are always learning experiences, but the rst
experiences set the foundation for your program, and many of
the ideas we share in this book come from our own experiences
with various mentoring programs. Our prayer is that our successes
and failures will provide a solid foundation for what God wants to
accomplish in your own unique setting.
TIP
If you come across Many of the tools included here are adapted from different
other helpful resources resources weve found useful over the years. One Kid at a Time from
as youre developing David C. Cook (no longer available) was one such resource. Weve
your mentoring ministry, also found the following books to be valuable when we were setting
consider letting up our mentoring programs:
us know at ideas@
simplyyouthministry.

t
Intensive Caring, Practical Ways to Mentor Youth
com so we can pass (Group Publishing)
along the helpful

t
Mentoring: How to Invest Your Life in Others (Equip)
information to other by Tim Elmore
leaders!


t
New Directions for Youth Ministry (Group Publishing) by
Wayne Rice, Chap Clark, and others

8 MeNTORING FROM STaRT TO FINISH

m e n t o r i ng fr om st ar t to finish
HOW TO START AND MAINTAIN A HEALTHY MENTORING PROGRAM FOR TEENAGERS

No matter how hard we try, there will always be some kids that just Doug Fields has been a
dont quite get what they need out of a normal youth program. Even pastor to teenagers and
a ministry leader for over
a healthy, growing one! Sometimes, students who fade into the wood-
30 years. Hes the author
work in a large group, would thrive with a one-on-one approach. On the of more than 50 books,
other hand, active studentseven those already connected in a small including the award-
groupmay be looking for a way to deepen their walk. winning Purpose-Driven Youth Ministry. Beyond youth
ministry, Dougs life is filled with great times with
Enter the mentor. his wife Cathy and his own three amazing teenagers,
Torie, Cody, and Cassie.
A mentoring program is another tool a youth worker can use to help
students connect with God. It can be added to any youth program, Tami Wright is the
large or small, traditional or contemporary. And with Mentoring from volunteer coordinator of
Mentoring on Purpose at
Start To Finish, its never been easier to start one. Saddleback Church, Lake
Forest, California. She and
This resource is divided into two parts. her husband, Larry, have
worked as volunteer youth ministry leaders over the
Part 1: The Strategy
yearsLarry fitting right in with the students and
Why have a mentoring program? What does it look like? Who will Tami trying to provide some structure! They have two
the mentors be? This section takes you from big picture thinking daughters, Amy married to Philip and Mandi married
all the way to putting the rubber to the road. to Erin, and a grandson, Caleb. Tami is passionate
about serving God, helping teenagers, and spending
Part 2: The Goods time with Caleb!
This is all the forms, applications, letters and other stuff that will
Dr. Grant T. Byrd is the
save you tons of time. Use them as-is or customize them for your Minister with Students
ministry. Theyre all yours. at 1st Baptist Church of
McKinney, Texas. He is the
Take a look at adding a mentoring program to your ministry. Its a minister with not to or
great way to catch those kids who might fall through the cracks and of, because the students
to provide more mature students a chance to really dig in more deeply at the church serve alongside him! Grant has been
to Gods plan for their lives. And nothing will help you get one started in student ministry for more than 25 years. He has
an incredibly beautiful wife (Jill) who has put up
quicker than Mentoring from Start To Finish.
with him for over 20 years, a teenage boy (Keegan)
who keeps him honest, and a wonderful daughter
(Darby) who wants to be a teenager TODAY! Grant is
passionate about Jesus, his family, teenagers, and
the Dallas Cowboys!
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PowerPoint backgrounds CHeCK OUT THe OTHer ReSOURCeS

IN THe START TO FINISH LINe
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FROM START TO FINISH

an adult leader resource: DE VE LO P ME NT JR. HIGH 10-13 HIGH SCHOOL 14-18 COLLEGE 19-26

youth ministry ISBN 978-07644-6321-1

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