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Kealin N. Goode
Mr. Davey Mills
English IV (3)
Date: 14 October 2015
Being a Mentor and Advocate for Young Adolescent Men
What does it mean to impact and make a real difference in the lives of young
adolescents who have struggled and otherwise may not strive to their fullest potential
without the necessary support of mentorship and advocacy? Through this paper, we will
explore what it means to be a mentor, key aspects or mentoring, characteristics of being
a positive mentor, and the benefits of making positive changes in the lives of others.
Furthermore, it will be discuss how effective mentoring has changed the lives of youth
who have participated in a successful mentorship program named, MDTMT (My
Daddy Taught Me That), developed and created by Keynon Lake. It is important to
understand that advocacy is an extension of mentorship and the two go hand in hand.
Upon the conclusion of this research paper, the reader will be able to clearly understand
these important dynamics and have a more in-depth understanding of why it is so
important to go beyond our own comfort zones to help enrich and support the lives of
young adolescent men through mentorship and advocacy.
Mentorship is a great way to lead people into finding themselves and who they are,
as Parsloe expresses Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their

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own learning in order that they may maximize their potential, develop their skills, and
improve their performance and become the person they want to be. (Parsloe). As a
mentor, you become a guide that helps others find the right direction in life. When you
have experienced similar life situations as the population you mentor, you can be a
valuable asset in the effectiveness of your mentorship. It can help you to empathize
with the mentee; however, this empathy must be genuine. According to Keynon Lake,
You have to honest, being able to be real especially when it comes to mentoring kids.
They will recognize lies and see straight through you. You have to honest and genuine
in order to build rapport. Mentorship helps young adolescents to accept responsibility
for the direction in which their lives are going to lead them, teaches them to take
ownership of their decisions, and how to accept the consequences of the choices they
make.
The key aspects of being an effective mentor can include passing on things you have
learned in life to someone who will profit from your experiences. In 2004, David
Clutterbuck, an academic who study mentoring relationships, created an acronym for
what mentors do: Manage the relationship, Encourage, Nurture, Teach, Offer mutual
respect, and Respond to the learners needs. As a mentor, you assume many roles in
the life of the mentee. You can act as a coach meaning that you believe the mentee
hold the keys to the finding the solution to their problems. As a coach, you support them
in exploring new ways and ideas of how to achieve success. You lead by example in
the form of being a role model. Keynon Lake described this attribute by stating, Being
able to walk the walk, hold yourself in a dignified manner ensuring you do not

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jeopardizing your character. One last aspect of a being an effective mentor is being a
counselor. As a counselor, you listen to their problems and then reflect back what they
have shared. This shows you were interested in what they have to say and by repeating
to them what they said, demonstrates you were listening and they were heard. If you
are unsure of something they have shared, seek clarification and ask the mentee to tell
you more about the topic or situation so you can gather a clearer understanding.
Now that we have talked about what mentorship means and the key aspects of being
a mentor, lets discuss positive characteristics of being a mentor. The Big Brother Big
Sister program focuses on 10 important features of successful mentors. Some of these
features include being a friend, having realistic goals and expectations, have fun
together, being positive, and respect the trust the mentee places in you. Being a friend
to your mentee means you work on establishing a connection, allowing the mentee to
see you as one and the same thus creating a feeling of attachment. Being a mentor
does not include you acting like a parent or pushing your beliefs or values onto them.
When talking about their future, let them know you are there to help. Take time to look at
their overall development and dont focus primarily on negative behaviors. Building a
trustworthy relationship takes times and its important for them to know that you are
there to support them.
Allowing the youth you are mentoring to have fun is critical. It allows them to blow off
steam or creates an opportunity to simply play. A lot of the youth who are involved in
mentorship programs, do not have frequent opportunities for fun. When you can engage

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in play with them, it shows you are dedicated, reliable, and committed. It further
demonstrates that there is always time for play in life and that things dont always have
to be so serious. Being positive with the mentee can be accurately described in this
quote by Edith Wharton, There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the
mirror that reflects it. Positivity helps to build self-esteem, is encouraging during rough
and trying times, and promotes self-confidence. Lastly, respect the trust that a mentee
may place in you by sharing personal stories or experiences. It may have taken a lot of
courage and strength for them to share their life experiences so be careful not to be
judgmental as this could make them feel as if they did something wrong. Listen with
compassion and reflect back to them as discussed previously to show that you are
listening and care.
Mentorship is also beneficial to the mentor. It is very satisfying to know that you are
helping someone grow. It supports in the development of the mentors leadership skills,
communication skills, as well as their interpersonal skills. When you engage in the lives
of others, partially those younger than you, there is also an opportunity to see things
from a fresh new perspective as well learn new ideas and approaches. As a mentor, it
also gives you an opportunity to give back and whats more rewarding than knowing
you have had a hand in changing someones life or future for the better. Tony Dungy
stated, Remember that mentor leadership is all about serving. Jesus said, For even
the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a
ransom for many (Mark 10:45) (Dungy).

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Now that the groundwork for the mentorship has been explained, lets take a closer
look at a local program founded by Keynon Lake in which they are taking the meaning
of mentorship to a higher level. The program is called My Daddy Taught Me That
(MDTMT). The organizations focus is to teach young men how to transition from young
teen adolescent time in their lives into responsible young men, focusing on good
decision making, accepting responsibility, and being accountable for their actions.
(Lake) During my interview with Mr. Lake, he stressed the importance that
MDTMT is here to educate, inform, enlighten, young men to be righteous,
respectable, and responsible young men. We have a curriculum that is a 4
step program. We have discussion groups, life changing events, education
and school supports, and a job training component. While working in the
program, these young men hit on each of the components.
Keynon has a background in social work. He played collegiate basketball, is a
published author, community activists and motivational speaker. When asked about the
kind of extracurricular activities or volunteer experiences that would be beneficial in
becoming a mentor, Mr. Lake expressed that it is important to have a good balance of
resources in the area in which you live. For example living in Asheville NC, its big on
outdoor activities. He also felt it was vital to have prior work experience or some type of
engagement in the field of mentoring or coaching, whether it be at an earlier age or just
prior to beginning in the field.

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Keynon spoke about the rewards and frustrations of his work in MDTMT. He stated,
The most satisfying aspect seeing young men get the resources they need to change
their mindsets and grasp the paths set before them. The most frustrating part is working
with those in the community that oppose the goals of the program and hinder the kids
from accessing the resources needed to be successful. Mr. Lake reported that
networking is a critical and an essential part to the success of the program. Lake stated,
Its important to finding like-minded people who are willing to help you reach a common
goal. Without networking, creating a successful program would be near impossible.
Keynon indicated there are three ways to build boys into better men; engage them in
meaningful activities, help them build confidence, and give them opportunities to lead.
According to Mr. Lake these task can be accomplished through mentorship and
advocacy.
Advocacy is defined as an action of supporting or recommending a particular cause
or policy, Merriam Webster Dictionary. Being an advocate for someone can mean you
are sticking up or giving someone a voice who needs it mostly when they are in need of
help. One way to become an excellent advocate is learning the ability to find out how
someone is feeling. When you know someones thoughts and feelings regarding a
particular topic, you have a better comprehension of how the person is being impacted.
Learning to communicate with the youth you mentor is another avenue of advocacy as it
allows you to hear from them about problems or issues they are facing. Advocacy ties
into mentorship in many ways. From the perspective of being able to guide someone,
being able to stand up for that person and/or allow them to see their rights from wrong.

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Even the simply act of leading or guiding them in positive direction encompasses skills
associated with advocacy.
There can be several goals associated with advocating for young adolescents. It can
be empowering in that you are able to support the youth in a more holistic way that
encompasses many aspects of their lives such as their physical and mental wellbeing,
employment status, and making good life choices. This increases the youths ability to
develop a healthy sense of self-worth and value. This is a winning situation for them as
it encourages them to mature into reliable and responsible adults.
As mentioned previously, advocacy is empowering. It can be rare that young people
are seen as having a major say over things that can impact their daily lives. They are
told primarily what to do in all areas of their lives. At home, they have to do as their
parents ask. At school, they have rules to follow implemented by the teachers and
principal, with everyone thinking they know what is in the best interest for that child. As
an advocate and mentor, you can assist with helping that youth realize they do have a
voice and opinion on how things in their life may or should go. It is important to allow
them to be involved in making decisions that impact them. This creates an atmosphere
that can transition into adulthood and teach them they can have control over their
outcomes thus resulting in an empowering experience.
Being a mentor means that you are going to be working with others who may not
look like you, have the same values or morals as you, or perhaps even have a different
culture or religious believe. This mean you will have move outside of your own comfort

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zone and remain effective in applying the characteristics we have discussed so far. How
can this be accomplished? Sherry Collier, LMFT with Creative Path to Growth has
developed several tips to pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone to promote
success. One way is to change your thoughts. When you think negatively, your feelings
can drive your behaviors so that is why it is important to change negative thoughts into
positive ones.
Secondly, move through fear with action. Use the fear to challenge yourself. Fear is
usually an emotion that is rarely based upon the truth. Be adventurous with it. Talk to
your friends or other peers about the things that frighten you and create a plan of action
to address it. Then just take action and face your fears! Dont allow your fears to prevent
you from making positive strives and gains in life or hold you back from helping others.
As Susan Jeffers, Ph.D stated, Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Thirdly, picture yourself reaching the next level. Imagine to yourself what it will look
when your reach your next goal. Mastering this skill can really be helpful in
accomplishing task you set out to complete. For example, if you are an athletic, imagine
crossing the finish line in first place, or scoring the winning basket just prior to the
buzzer, or catching that Hail Mary pass in the last seconds of the game for the winning
touchdown!
Finally, try taking up a hobby or activity that moves you out of comfort zone. Sherry
stated, The emotional and mental experiences of trying a new hobby or sport will
translate to an expanded vision for your life and relationships. Your brain will grow new

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neutral networks as you try new things and experience new feeling states which will
result in growing your ability to try new approaches, think new thoughts, and attempt
new ways of doing things in all areas of life.
In conclusion, mentorship and advocacy can be life changing for the youth of todays
society. Faced with so many demands and standards with limited resources, it is
important for them to have someone to mentor, advocate, or provide a program such as
My Daddy Taught Me That to help make them make good, informed, education
decisions.

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Lake, Keynon. "Meaning of Being a Mentor and Advocate." Telephone interview. 8 Oct. 2016.
"What Is Effective Advocacy?" What Is Effective Advocacy? N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Oct. 2016.
<http://www.cccnewyork.org/about/what-is-effective-advocacy/>.
"Examples of Mentoring Activities." Youth.gov. N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Oct. 2016.
<http://youth.gov/youth-topics/mentoring/activities>.
Phillips-Jones, Linda, Jeann Ann Walth, and Carlo Walth. "100 Ideas to Use When Mentoring
Youth." (n.d.): n. pag. Web.
"How to Be an Advocate for Yourself and Others." N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Oct. 2016.
<http://www.thewllproject.org>.
Melton, Brenda. "Breaking Through Barriers | American School Counselor Association
(ASCA)." Breaking Through Barriers | American School Counselor Association (ASCA). N.p.,
26 July 2004. Web. 10 Oct. 2016. <http://www.schoolcounselor.org/magazine/blogs/july-august2004/breaking-through-barriers>.
House, Michael Faraday. "What Is Mentoring?" Mentor SET. Department for Business, Enegry,
and Industrial Strategy, 2016. Web. 01 Oct. 2016. <http://www.mentorset.org.uk/what-ismentoring.html>.
Skype, By Email Via. "Sherry Collier." - Business Coach. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Oct. 2016.
<http://www.yourtango.com/experts/sherrycollier>.

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"10 Important Features of Successful Mentor." Home Page - Big Brothers Big Sisters A
Community of Caring. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Oct. 2016. <http://www.bbbsmi.org/>.