Unscheduled Departures

Such was the request made by the Goia and it was granted. The racist overtones of Earth's
broadcasts, its bloody history, the fiction and the documentaries of death and destruction, the
fact that humanity declared a hundred light-years around Earth that it would destroy any sort of
alien contact were enough.
Silly race of bipedals, Nak thought, while shifting to a more comfortable position in his
liquid pouch. Such arrogance and stupidity, to broadcast its plans for galactic domination and
racial supremacy. Sure, most of what was sent out was fiction, Nak realized that well enough. It
was entertainment for the billions living on the planet, but the Goia weren't stupid. Not one race
in the galaxy had the patience to sift through all the broadcasts and reach an educated
conclusion. Nak had the time, because he was bored out of his gassy shell.
The Goia slowly built their case, providing ample -and largely misleading- testimony as to
what humanity might evolve to, should it be ignored in this backwater of the galaxy. Such were
the rules of survival. No one really wanted anyone elses harm, since there were plenty of
habitable systems for everyone out in the universe, but if you just had one system and talked
smack, well, then, you had to accept the consequences. There wasnt any appeal process, there
was just review and damnation back to stardust.
Sure, Nak reasoned, letting the electric impulses of his thoughts ripple the gassy membrane
that held his light-conscience, what the Goia presented wasn't enough, but the hypocrisy of
intra-galactic politics insured an audience; ironic that a sentient species who broadcasted
fictionalized death and destruction would be wiped from existence by the fiction of its dangerous
future-plans. So the Goia were listened to, since everyone was really just bored. Blowing stuff up
was fun.
Receiving all sorts of media with death and destruction through rudimentary forms of
communications wasnt that big of an issue. But when those same technologies were used to
raise His Imperial Majesty and Heir, the High Wave of Goia, it just wouldnt be proper to encase
his Final Persona with some human garbage on the side. And beams of electrons as they were,
limited in thought by the speed of light, and yet powerful in their own right over so many
worlds, the Goia had their wish come true, after due procedures were followed and accepted.
A Trebi Cleaner, more exactly a functionary of the Medium Order, if there ever was order
among the Trebi, Nak's job was simple enough: to investigate and to take action. The
investigating part was tedious and annoying, since he was expected to report back some form of
what had already been decided by the political committee. Yes, the humans were at the

technological level deep space scans had already established. Yes, their society was in its modest
days of system-wide exploration. No, they had no way of escaping off the planet in large
numbers. No, the result would not damage local subspace filaments. It was a long list that the
ship's processing unit requested, before sending out the beam of destruction. And it was
annoyingly repetitive. And then, once all that was over, a final message would be beamed to
Headquarters. The return beam, a simple formality, would carry the command to fire to the
processing unit.
That was something his Middle Order Union had insisted upon, after thousands of
complaints by other Cleaners. Gentle and evolved creatures that Trebi considered themselves,
wired for bureaucratic rigors, but hardly action-oriented, they would not send the death beam
themselves. That was, after all, a decision not of their own and Nak could attest to that. Solid the
humans and every other species that needs cleaning this side of the galactic arm, I'm just here
to fill out a form. Nak's ship, the Unscheduled Departures, swept through dark subspace, in
search of its target.
*
So youre saying its an error, Mar transmitted.
Not at all, certainly not on my part, Ioq responded from his own depth, stirring. The local
Cleaning Affairs Committee decided to wipe the planet, but they didnt have quorum.
So its an error, the superior repeated, from his position closer to the surface of the ocean
world.
Ioq rippled his gas membrane with frustration. Not on our behalf, High Level Functionary
Mar. The higher-ups were always interested in the conclusion, never the details, the nuances
that changed everything. It was probably all the extra sunlight they were getting, feeding their
conscience, but it sure as hell didnt look like the extra feeding made them any smarter. Yeah,
its an error, thought Ioq, but do the Trebi want the Goia pissed?
The Committee didnt have quorum and its decisions have been made void, as per the Rules
of Procedure. Ioq explained, after calming himself down. But the debate and the findings
couldnt possibly be any different in another meeting. I propose we stick with the solution
already voted upon. We already have a Cleaner on his way.
Youre asking me to break Procedure? That was unheard of, unless, of course, someone
took the blame first.

No, you dirtsack, Im asking you to think. Obviously, Ioq couldnt say that. He wanted to
rise to a lower depth someday, and his superior wasnt in the habit of promoting based on merit.
He cleaned his bubble of any emotion and transmitted, I am respectfully asking for a solution,
so that we may recall the Cleaner or ensure that he does his job, once his report is filed.
But its an error, Mar insisted.
The Cleaner is on his way, hell be arriving at his destination soon. Thatll give urgency.
Your proposal, Mid-level Ioq? The message arrived with the same lack of caring. Mars
stupidity had already been established as deep and personal.
So you dont want to burst your own bubble on this and neither do I. Fine. High Level
Functionary Mar, my proposal is to let Mid-level Nak submit his report and reply with the
situation I presented to you. Solid him. If he goes ahead and cleans the planet, hell be to
blame and no one will look at the details. Ioq knew full well that whatever the return message
would have attached to the Clean command would be scrubbed as unimportant by the ships
processing unit. So did Mar, but they had done their job, Procedure wouldnt be broken and all
would be well.
Agreed, the superior transmitted, after a moment in thought. Next item of old business?
*
General Patrick P. Johnson III held his hand firmly on the sergeant's shoulder, while he
peered into the screen. He couldnt believe his eyes, but he prefered his own disbelief to what the
civilian from SETI told him, just an hour before.
You sure its not a rock? He finally asked.
Positive, sir, we used the wavelength filters given by the scientists. Also, noted the sergeant
with a worried tone, its slowing down, ever since it reached the solar system.
What do we have in its way?
If it continues the trajectory and supposing Earth is its final destination, and the sergeant
used the software to display a rounded path on his screen, then just our base on Mars and a
couple of transmission satellites in between.
The general squeezed harder on his subordinates shoulder, obviously not liking the answer.
When will it get here?
At current speed? In six days, sir.
The general finally let go and straightened himself back up to say, You better be right. Im
calling the White House. He turned and paced rapidly towards the exit.

The sergeant kept staring at the screen, then once Johnson was well away, simply replied
with a smirk, Yeah, thank you too. He was happy with the thought of humanity making first
contact.
*
XINHUA NEWS AGENCY / 12.05.2053 - After news broke of an object of alien origin
approaching the solar system, world leaders convened in Wellington, New Zealand, to discuss a
common effort at communicating with what most experts agree to be Earths moment of first
contact.
From the first day of official talks, two camps have emerged, relaying differing views on how
to best proceed. The Americans, British and a few of their historical allies favor launching a
communications shuttle that is also well armed, in case attempts at contact fail. French, NeoRussian and Japanese representatives are pushing for a solely peaceful endeavor, hoping the
military option will not be needed. The government of the Peoples Republic of China remains
neutral on these issues.
Until the craft arrives, as it has been steadily slowing down over the past few days, while
keeping its projected destination Earth, all leaders agreed to send peaceful messages of greetings
and goodwill in all languages from all possible transmitters, on the ground and from space.
Messages have attachments with samples of general knowledge, music, crafts, sciences, and
popular culture.
In related news, despite all first efforts to keep the matter secret and subsequent calls from
government authorities throughout the world for calm, demonstrations and later riots broke out
in Rio de Janeiro, San Francisco, Washington, Rome, Istanbul and Paris. Expert observers and
sociologists have pointed out an equally great sentiment of happiness and expectation to the
arrival of the object of alien origin.
*
Green and blue dials lighted the otherwise darkened habitacle of the time ship Elsenor,
humanitys attempt at saving itself from destruction.
This is the only chance well ever get, Barton. Lets make it count!
Im with you, Poincar.

Streams adjacent, waiting for pairing. Einstein Diaphragm extending. T minus five minutes.
Mark, signalled Poincar, then sighed.
You nervous there, frenchy?
And youre not? Poincar almost added you american bastard, but realized he was better
than that.
After the alien attack, nationalities didnt matter; nor did Earth, since all that was left of
humanity were a couple of space shuttles thrown about the system and the few hundred souls on
the bases of Moon and Mars. The aliens werent going to do their job properly, and after two
thousand years of hardship - and some lucky breaks, the descendants of humanity were
preparing for revenge.
I just really wish we could save them, Poincar said.
So do I, pal, but you know these temporal streams better than I do. So we stop the Trebi
shuttle, blow it up to smithereens. Well buy our ancestors a few weeks and theyll just send
another. Its the Goia we gotta take care of. Its a thankless job anyway, Barton added.
They both knew it was a one-way trip. All the possible efforts they made in the past two
millennia amounted to their current self-sacrifice. Two thousand years of cryogenic processing
and research, forgetting rage, hunger, want, missing loved ones, into a one-way trip of historyaltering proportions. Their research showed only one small window of opportunity, at least that
their stored energy permitted, when two time streams of equal context got close enough.
Destroying the Goia homeworld would make the Trebi Cleanup issue mute, letting Earth
survive. They wouldnt be able to return to their own time stream, but, then again, who wanted
to come back to cryosleep?