Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Carli Richards
English 111 Section 3CF
Prof. Heather Gemmen Wilson
September 9th, 2016
Reflection Essay
I Believe;You believe.
I had always believed that there was a God but I was never actually sure until my
freshman year in high school. I got bullied by an upperclassman who at one time wanted
to date me and my best friend at the same time. He told us whoever sent him the longest
text about why we liked him would be the person he would choose. My age at this time
was 14 and my mom would make me put away my phone at 9 pm. I told him that I would
have to get off the phone and that if I didnt I wouldnt be able to talk to him at all. So
with me being at this young age I made sure that I typed out four pages of why I liked
him. Im not completely sure why I did this now because he wasnt very physically
attractive and I had heard stories of him being quite the jerk. So my best friend text him
all night long and you could have already guessed that she was the one who won his
heart. My best friend and I got into an argument about this, (our friendship was on thin
strings before this as well). This boy said that we could continue to be friends but that he
had chosen my best friend to be with. He then text messaged me and told me that I was
too young for him. I happened to be exactly four days older than my best friend so this
completely confused me. I then typed back that my best friend was the same age as me,
he then proceeded to call me a liar and get mad at me. Then in turn my best friend
wouldnt talk to me because I told the truth. She had to lie about her age just to get this
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boy to date her. Religion effects the way you react or speak in a situation and I had no
idea how to react to what was happening to me. I asked a lot of questions but not out
loud, just in my head things like am I supposed to pray? How do I start? is the right
time to pray? is it selfish to ask for something for myself?. I knew nothing about
religion other than there is probably a God out there somewhere. Going to church wasn't
a common thing for my family to do even when I was little.
I feel he was making excuses and trying to let me down easy so that he wouldnt
sound like a jerk. This boy had venom in his eyes but he hid it very well. After they had
dated and broke up was when everything started to go downhill. He text me and flirted
for a while then lost interest. I ended up dating one of his best friends who kept trying to
talk me into having sex and when I wouldnt go along with it he broke up with me. This
is when things started to get bad, this was when the worst year of my life began. I had
gotten a new boyfriend and I was in a relationship with him when the bullying first
started. This boy who bullied me was in my algebra class, in my English class, and lunch.
It wasnt unusual for upperclassman to be in lunch with freshman but he had failed both
English and algebra which was the reason he was in my ninth grade classes as a junior in
high school. He first started out by making fun of me in class for not being good at the
problems, then he would harass me about asking too many questions in class. This
continued on in this manner until my boyfriend at the time and I broke up. Then this boy
continued to bully me. It only got worse instead of better. He then proceeded to call me a
whore, slut, fat bitch etc. I thought I could handle all these things at first because I knew
none of them were true. In lunch he would sit with his table of friends and he would take
pictures of me while I was eating. He would whisper my name while in English and when
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I would look back at him to see what he wanted he would claim that I was staring at him.
He posted multiple posts to Facebook and Instagram that a whale was staring at him in
English. One of his friends was commenting that I was not yet a whale, only hippo size.
With this going on continuously for months, him yelling these horrible things at me in the
hallway to then running by and slamming my locker shut as soon as I had opened it.
Plenty of proposed picture taking had gone on and it was finally really getting to me. It
got to the point where I started contemplating if the situation was ever going to get better.
I started having negative thoughts about possibly ending my life just so I wouldnt have
to deal with the embarrassment of people looking at me like Im a disgusting bug walking
about the hallways. It became too much to deal with and finally one night before I went
to bed, I prayed to a God that I didnt even know was completely real. I prayed for it to
all end, no matter what the cost it just had to end. That night while I was asleep I had a
dream that God was telling me it would all be okay, that I just needed to give it a little
time.
There are many ways religion affects people. Even if someone doesn't believe in
religion they can still be affected by people who do. Not everyone who believes in God
has the same mindset. Just like everyone who thinks McDonald's is good doesnt like the
same meal from there but hey are going to get McDonalds. All Christians ultimately
want to make it to heaven because of the way they believe. Ive had people say that they
didnt want to be friends with me because they were afraid that I would judge them on
their life choices.
You can hear the phrase the wait is worth it and from my
experience it is so true. So thats exactly what I did. I waited and I waited and I
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tried the best I could to not make the situation worse at school by fighting back. I just
plugged in my headphones, listened to music and for once I could actually ignore what
they were saying. I just kept having this reoccurring thought in my head that if I could
just remember that no matter how many times they said those things to me, they would
never be true. Then I got the break I needed, one of my friends suggested going to a
church that they liked so we tried it out. I had never been to a youth group before, but I
loved it at first. I could hear God talking to me saying this is happening for a reason; you
will soon understand. We started going to church and I loved going to youth group every
Thursday, it soon became my favorite place to be. But then the depression soon grabbed
ahold of me again and after about 1 and a half years of going to youth group I started
feeling that I wasnt welcomed by my peers. They had all grown up together and knew
each other very well where in turn I was the outsider and none of them would talk to me.
I would sit in the corner of the room until service started all by myself without anyone
speaking to me. Dont get me wrong I tried talking to the other kids but they made no
effort to talk to me unless I did so with them first. It started to upset me and I no longer
wanted to go, but I knew that I needed to keep God in my life.
The experience that I had made me not want to go to that youth group but it didn't
steer me away from God. There are people that I know who dont believe in God and
who you can see how that is affecting their lives. But they often dont understand how
everyone is different and how not all Christians act the same way towards non-Christians.
There was a girl in my art class who doesnt believe and she made the comment to me
that she doesnt like Christians because when she was twelve she went to a church event
with her friend and they asked everyone who believes to stand up and she wasnt sure if
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she did so she didnt stand. She then received reprimand from the older folks for not
standing and she then felt she was mistreated because of her past experience. Because of
this she didnt want to attend church and she decided not to pursue further knowledge
concerning Christ. She just stated that she didnt believe. So because she was treated
badly when she was younger because of her beliefs she no longer wanted to participate in
religion.
She took the easy way out by choice, I took the easy way out by circumstances
that I had no control over but that worked out for the best. The summer after my
freshman year we moved to Wabash, Indiana and I started a new school. I got away from
the kids I learned to hate and the boy who I felt had ruined my life. I later learned that my
freshman year in high school was only a lesson that I had to learn to not only help me
grow but to help me in my walk in faith. I started Southwood Jr. Sr. High school my
sophomore year of high school and made new friends who I grew to love and some who I
had to grow apart from but I now have people who care about me and a new best friend
who helps me every day in my faith and who I started going to a new youth group with.
She has helped me with my faith and helps me to see that in the good times and the bad I
need God in my life. Since everything that has happened freshman year I have grown not
only in my religion but also as a person who is more confident and who understands the
world better than before.
In my case I have never gotten bullied just for being a Christian but I have gotten
bullied before for having to tell guys that Im saving sex for marriage and they harass me
about it, because of my Christian beliefs this is something that you should both want and
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need to do. This shapes how I live my life, because both my beliefs and being a Christian
often affects who I interact with, and how I make those interactions.
Thats one thing that I have run into on my walk in faith is that people
automatically think you will judge them if you are a Christian. But the way I look at it, is
that we arent judging you God is. He wants you to act like Him, and he doesnt want
your earthly ways to take over your life so he sends his disciples out to help the woeful,
sorrowful, and brokenhearted. Christianity is not the only religion that receives criticism.
For example, Muslims are judged harshly on their religion. It is common for people to
think of them as terrorists just because a few bad apples ruined the bushel. People think
that its okay to judge one another because they are a certain religion when that is morally
wrong. People can also get judge for not being a christian, there was a boy in my class
who wouldn't say one nation under Godduring the pledge of allegiance. People
shouldn't judge others based on their appearance, weight, ethics, actions or otherwise. He
will either let you enter into the Holy gates of Heaven or He will send you to hell. He is
the only one who can make that decision. No one can do that for Him. It is not our place
to make those kinds of decisions. Indiana Governor, Mike Pence wouldn't let Muslims
into our state because of the terrorism going on. These people are being kept out of safe
homes because of the fear that is in so many minds of Americans in this day and age.
They are being discriminated against because of their beliefs. The whole Muslim religion
as a whole isn't full of terrorists there a just a few select extremists the religion shouldn't
be at fault. The people who are terrorist should be dealt with. They are the people giving
the religion a bad name. The Ku Klux Klan attacked not only African Americans but also
Catholics and Jews. People of the Jewish and Catholic religions got targeted for what
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their religious preferences were. The Ku Klux Klan thought they were doing the right
thing as Christians but it was later found out they were performing a type of extreme
Christianity.
The experience I have written about explains how religion has affected the way I
live my life now. This shows how people treat me because of my personal beliefs. This
helps explain how people treated me before I became a Christian and how people treat
me now that I am. This can also show how people in other religions were treated, and
maybe are still treated that way.