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The first Habit is: Be Proactive!

Proactive means acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty.
Proactive means taking initiative. - Stephen Covey

It means taking control of your life.

Focusing on things you can do something about.
Taking responsibility for your moods.
Making the most of the space between stimulus and response- that moment
where you can pause and DECIDE how you want to respond to something.

What is the opposite of proactive?

A person who is not proactive is reactive.
As Covey says, Act or you will be acted upon!

Our words reflect our attitudes. Think about these words:

Theres nothing I can do. Thats just the way I am. Underneath this statement is
the belief that I am helpless.
He makes me so mad! Underneath this statement is the belief that Im not
responsible. My emotional life is governed by something outside my control.
If only my husband were more patient. Underneath this statement is the belief
that someone elses behavior is limiting my effectiveness.
I have to do it. Circumstances or other people are forcing me to do something. Im
not free to choose my own actions.
These are reactive statement. Do you know people who talk like this? Do you talk
like this?
Covey says that becoming conscious of the words we use is a good way to start being
more self-aware. Our behaviors flow from our thoughts and our way of seeing the
world.

So how do you become more proactive?

Focus on things you can influence instead of focusing on things out of your control.
Because it is true that we cannot influence some things.
We illustrate those things with 3 concentric circles- The Circle of Control in the
middle, the Circle of Influence outside that, and the Circle of Concern (where we have
no control) on the outside.
Heres an example.

Think about the outside circle- the Circle of Concern. What can we NOT control? (weather,
politics, behavior of people we have no contact with, natural disasters like earthquake)
Spending time and energy worrying about these things robs us of time and energy we could
use to exert influence.
The middle circle is where we can have indirect control or influence. What would that be?
We can influence our neighborhood, family, religious community, work environment, friends.
We can influence, but not control.
The inner circle- Control- is the place where we can have real control- over our own
behavior, our actions, our attitudes.
We can discover much about how Proactive we are by asking ourselves these questions:
Where do I spend most of my mental energy? Which Circle is the greatest source of my
worry? How much of my conversation is spent talking about things I cannot influence?
Reactive people focus their efforts in the outside Circle of Concern.
They focus on the weaknesses of other people and circumstances over which they have no
control.
Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased
feelings of victimization.
The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do
something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.

Covey recommends that we focus our thoughts, conversations, and energy on the
Circle of Influence, trying to expand the size of that circle.
Proactive people focus their efforts on increasing their influence.
They work on the things they can do something about.
Lets pause for a moment so you can think more about where your time and energy
are being directed.