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Caitlyn McQuaig
ENC 1101
Prof. McGriff
11/28/16
Because I Said So: An Analysis of Polarizing Parenting Methods
The only controversial issue that effects everyone on the planet and has been around
since the dawn of man is parenting styles. In todays day and age, there are thousands of movies
revolving around angst-ridden teenagers who have suffered due to parents care. The most
polarizing styles that media loves to explore are the Helicopter Method and the Friend
Method. A helicopter parent is very involved in their childs life and believes in a strict
upbringing. A friend parent believes in keeping an easy-going relationship with an emphasis on
enjoying each others company. These styles can be detrimental to the child in long-term effects,
but its impossible to determine which is worse. The comparing and contrasting of discipline,
dating, and college in terms of the Helicopter Method and the Friend Method will reveal that
it is impossible to determine which style is the most detrimental to the child long-term.
The Helicopter Method is best known for its work in the area of discipline. Luckily, the
broad category of discipline can be simplified into two sub-categories for the purpose of
analysis. These sub-sections are guidelines and discipline choice. A helicopter parent has strict
guidelines for their child, and clearly state these warnings before the offense. These warnings are
consistent with every offense, although serious infractions may not receive any warnings at all. If
warnings are given, the child will only get a certain amount, and then the parent will go through
with whatever form of discipline has been promised. This leads into the category of discipline. A
helicopter parent uses strong forms of discipline, and characteristically will not shy away from
spanking. These disciplinary techniques are supposed to be proportionate to the slight. Another
strong characteristic of a helicopter parents discipline is that the discipline will almost always be

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inflicted without an apology. Such a parent values power over their child, and see apologies as
letting the child win.
Furthermore, the Helicopter Method is very distinctive in its applications in the dating
process. The overall category of dating is broken down into preliminary reaction and standards
for the purpose of this paper. In terms of the preliminary reaction, a helicopter parent has
severity. They may not express a positive attitude towards the proposed significant other. Instead,
they will ask a lot of questions, which often leave the child stressed and less-enthusiastic for the
date. This type of parent will also want to know specific details about the date, and may show an
immediate distrust of the other person. It is extremely unlikely that the parent will take the
childs word for anything about the other person. In terms of standards, subscribers to the
Helicopter Method will want someone clean-cut, and are more likely to disapprove of any
minor infractions, such as tardiness or mumbling. They will want to meet the person, and will
insist on a traditional setting, such as the entryway of the home. They will expect the significant
other to ring the doorbell and be respectful. While this may seem overly protective, helicopter
parenting is just another way of raising a child.
In terms of college, a helicopter parent can be analyzed through an examination of
college preparation and the typical goodbye. These parents will be the masters of the checklist,
and it will keep getting longer as the day draws closer. They will do their own research as well as
encouraging the child to do theirs, and will be huge fans of meetings and campus visits. As for
the goodbye, helicopter parents are going to have a hard time letting go. In other words, the
farewell is going to be very tearful and dramatic. They may show up again and try to be the
parent, which may be a little embarrassing for the child. A subscriber to the Helicopter Method
will want a lot of communication, but they will make sure that the child has everything they

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need, no matter what. This will give the child a sense of security, even when they are off on their
college journey.
The Friend Method is well known for almost a lack of discipline. In terms of
guidelines, a friend parent will utilize many warnings, often without following through with the
threat. For example, a parent will threaten disciplinary action by the time they get to three, but a
friend parent might contradict themselves and count for longer, or not go through with it at all.
This makes them more likely to talk out an issue, which shows their support for giving their child
an active voice in their parenting method. These parents stay away from rough forms of
discipline in favor of lighter sentences, such as a nights worth of grounding, if that. This means
that if they use grounding, it wont be severe. A side-effect of this treatment doesnt really appear
until the teen years. As the child gets older, the parents will be less likely to blame the child for
their offenses.
Dating is very interesting through the eyes of a friend parent. In terms of the preliminary
reaction, subscribers to the Friend Method will express extreme excitement, although in some
cases they may be as unenthusiastic as a helicopter parent, since the entrance of a significant
other might hurt the friendship between the child and parent. They will want to know all of the
details of the date, but may not ask a lot about plans. A downside is that these parents are more
likely to share their own dating experiences, and they probably wont leave anything out, which
can beunsettling. A friend parents standards are known for being very loose. Following their
parenting style, the adult will encourage the child to try a lot of different types of people. For
example, this type of parent will be as likely to recommend an all-star football player as a hightech graphic designer. To be honest, friend parents dont have much a standard. While they value
safety, they will be far more open-minded and trusting of the childs judgement.
College is a difficult time for all parents, but the friend parent has a unique way of
handling preparation and the final goodbye. Before the big move, these parents will be relaxed,

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and may get behind on research. The child will have to be self-motivated if they want to find out
information. A friend parent is also prone to still be putting together the childs dorm room while
college is starting, because they will have most likely forgotten to buy a lot of necessities. This
method of parenting allows for a casual goodbye, but that doesnt mean there wont be
separation issues. When they turn up again, the parents will want to relive the college experience
with their child, and may end up at a few parties themselves. This can be extremely
embarrassing. However, they will help their child get what they need no matter what, and will
normally support the childs choices. They are even known to take the pressure off of studying.
The Friend Method and the Helicopter Method seem to have a stark contrast. In
terms of discipline and dating, the only similarity seems to be that they are both effecting a child.
However, its much easier to catch a glimpse of the similarities involved in college. Both parents
will have a hard time letting their child grow, since both methods can create tight bonds between
the parent and the child. Then, when discipline and dating is given a second glance, more
similarities pop up. Both styles discipline their children in some way, although friend parents are
bigger fans of letting both the child and the parent win. Both allow the child to date as long as
the partner is a safe choice, but the definition of safe varies between the methods. Another
similarity that not only rings true for these parenting styles, but all parenting styles, is that both
methods will have detrimental long-term effects on the child. This is a truth that society tries to
hide, but everyone whos been raised by someone has something from their childhood to
complain about. No one is perfect, and some actions wont sit well with the child. That being
said, there is no way to measure which method is more detrimental long-term. It all depends on
the child, how its administered, and the severity. There are too many variables to get a clear
answer. However, it is clear that no sane parent raises a child to be miserable. In other words,

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parents act out of love, and their parenting styles only reflect what they hope is best for their
child.