____Soldiers save us________________

(Title)

As the soldiers walked by you could hear their stomping feet on the gravel road, I
didnt know why they were here but my grandpa is a soldier, and he is a mechanic so he
fixes stuff for them, but I did not see him walking by. Maybe he was already here.

When I went out for a walk I seen all of the soldiers that I had seen before, and they
were all on either side of the road, so I backed away and all of a sudden I heard gunshots
everywhere I was so scared. When it was all over I went back over there and I saw every
one of the soldiers kneeling down infront of another soldier and he was everyone's friend
he was the nicest of them all, and he was gone. His name was Sergeant Jim, it was sad.
A few days later it turned fall and all the soldiers had gone home,all of the leaves started
to fall off and I thought the soldiers had gone home but they didn't and that was when I
got to meet one of their war dogs he really loved me, he was a german shepherd and his
owner died in war. Maxs owner was Sergeant Jim so they took him to the pound. Me my
mom and dad went to the pound and I got to keep him, he had his muzzle on so he would
not bite. When I got home I went to my room and I got to know Max and so did he he
was so protective. He was also fast, strong, and he was good at a lot of things, and after

all of that army coming to our town we decided to move. our town was called forest gums
but it was all broken down so that is why we are moving, we decided to move to florida.
And I knew we would be even more happy there.

CATEGORY

Spelling and
Punctuation

There are no
spelling or
punctuation errors in
the final draft.
Character and place
names that the
author invented are
spelled consistently
throughout.

There is one
spelling or
punctuation error in
the final draft.

There are 2-3

spelling and
punctuation errors in
the final draft.

The final draft has

more than 3 spelling
and punctuation
errors.

Neatness

The final draft of the

story is readable,
clean, neat and
attractive. It is free
of erasures and
crossed-out words.
It looks like the
author took great
pride in it.

The final draft of the

story is readable,
neat and attractive.
It may have one or
two erasures, but
they are not
distracting. It looks
like the author took
some pride in it.

The final draft of the

story is readable
and some of the
pages are attractive.
It looks like parts of
it might have been
done in a hurry.

The final draft is not

neat or attractive. It
looks like the
student just wanted
to get it done and
didn\'t care what it
looked like.

Title

Title is creative,
sparks interest and
is related to the
story and topic.

Title is related to the

story and topic.

Title is present, but

does not appear to
be related to the
story and topic.

No title.

Characters

The main characters

are named and
clearly described in
text as well as
pictures. Most
readers could
describe the
characters
accurately.

The main characters

are named and
described. Most
readers would have
some idea of what
the characters
looked like.

The main characters

are named. The
reader knows very
little about the
characters.

It is hard to tell who

the main characters
are.

Rubric rating submitted on: 11/21/2016, 12:28:46 PM by mark.kinzel@wrsd.ca

Content
Your score: 3

Details of the story

are established,
specific and
consistent. The
story flows and
makes sense.
Supporting details
are consistent and
help to develop
story. Writing holds
the reader's
attention

Details of story are

clear and make
sense. The story is
generally
straightforward from
beginning to end.
Writing generally
holds the readers
interest.

The story is
predictable. Some
details may be
irrelevant or
unnecessary. Tends
to follow familiar
patterns or ideas.
May keep the
reader's attention.

There are few

details or
descriptions. Does
not flow from
beginning to end,
illogical sequence.
Does not get
reader's attention

Origination
Your score: 3

The story has a

beginning, middle
and end. There is a
connection between
events, setting, and
characters.
Characters are well
described and
developed. There is
a well described
setting. There is a
clear and well
defined story
problem or plot that
flows logically. The
story problem or
plot is connected to
the character.
Events, actions,
details, and/or
characters are
consistently
maintained. The
ending resolves the
problem and
satisfies the reader.

The story follows a

logical sequence
with a beginning,
middle and end.
There is a
connection between
events, setting, and
characters. Story
beginning
establishes
characters and
setting. There is a
clear and well
defined story
problem or plot. The
story problem or
plot is connected to
the character. Story
has a logical ending
that resolves the
story problem.

The story has a

beginning, middle
and end but can be
difficult to follow.
There is some
connection between
events, setting, and
characters. Story
beginning briefly
describes
characters and
setting. There is a
story problemthat is
connected to the
characterbuthas an
abrupt ending.

The story has no

clear beginning,
middle and end.
There are some
actions or events
but are illogical or
hard to follow. Lacks
connection between
events, setting, and
characters. Does
not describe
characters or
setting, may just
give character
names. There is a
story
problembutthere is
no character
development. Story
ending does not
makes sense or is
missing.

Sentence Structure
Your score: 2

Sentences are well

formed and flow
smoothly and vary
in length. They

Sentences include
one complete
thought. They begin
with capitals and

Simple sentences,
which do not include
descriptive
language. They

Basic and poorly

constructed
sentences, that
often don't make

Vocabulary
Your score: 3

Comments:

begin differently
with the correct use
of capitals and have
appropriate end
marks

use appropriate end

marks. They are
logical, and make
sense.

generally begin with

capitals and use
appropriate end
marks

sense and are

repetitive in
construction.

Words are wellchosen. Phrases

are purposeful.
Avoids overusing
words. Words and
phrases are used to
create imagery
(mind images)

General words are

chosen and used
correctly. Words and
phrases help
explain and
describe.

General words are

chosen and are
used incorrectly at
times. Words and
phrases are simple
and/or do not
describe well.

Words chosen are

often wrong and/or
misused. Phrases
are misused or
missing