What is the most powerful word in your life?

There is one word that has the power to bring

deep meaning, satisfaction, and fulfillment into
your life, and if you meditate on it for just a few
minutes each day, it can change the way you
work and improve your relationship with
others.
However, no one can tell you what that word is.
You must discover it for yourself
Andrew Newberg M.D. and Mark Robert
Waldman, Neuroscientists and authors of
Words Can Change Your Brain

Your Brain on Value:

How to Break the

Self-Sabotage Cycle

Reveal: What you think you know about selfsabotage is inaccurate

Reveal: Why your current challenges are simply
symptoms (long-standing coping methods) that
provide temporary relief from states of
powerlessness but, in the long run, make them
worse
Reveal: Why everything you have tried has not
worked
Introduce a tool that will make all of the difference
2

What to Expect
Aim to complete in well under an hour
Replay (including slides) available at this same link for 1 week
We encourage you to download the slides in PDF form
Here to introduce you to something that has to power to significantly
impact your life
Everything shared today backed by years of evidence-based research
But even more credible than research data is your own direct,
personal experience - so this session will be heavily interactive

Pick one of the following words

Focusing on Peace or Love

Genomic counter-stress changes
induced by the relaxation response.
Dusek JA, Otu HH, Wohlhueter AL,
Bhasin M, Zerbini LF, Joseph MG,
Benson H, Libermann TA. PLoS One.
2008 Jul 2;3(7):e2576.
Creswell, J. D., Welch, W. T., Taylor, S. E.,
Sherman, D. K., Gruenewald, T. L., &
Mann, T. (2005). Affirmation of personal
values buffers neuroendocrine and
psychological stress responses.
Psychological Science, 16(11), 846-851

The Human Brain

Dr. Daniel Siegel: Brain Model

Neural-Hijacking
Extremely potent reptilian brain state
Once alarm is triggered, adrenal glands flood the body
with stress hormones
Once the alarm is sounded, full access to the thinking
mind is hijacked
Cant interrupt with thinking (5000 x faster)
Feels real, current and rational - but it is not.
The disconnection between these aspects of the brain
also leads to a sense of being disconnected from Self

Core Hurts are

the emotional components of
presumed deficiencies in the
self.

I am powerless
I am inadequate
I am unlovable
I am unworthy

Core Hurt

Emotional Reactivity

Self-Sabotage

Any hint of guilt, shame, anxiety, anger, resentment,

sadness, emptiness can trigger a Core Hurt
Because experiencing the reactivation of Core Hurt
is so painful and draining, your brain tries to
develop short-term strategies to avoid experiencing
these hidden feelings
Our attempts to protect ourselves from
experiencing Core Hurts lie at the root of our most
common symptoms and defenses such as: anxiety,
resentment, anger, depression, obsessions,
addictions, manipulation, and emotional eating
10

Start

Self-Sabotage
Cycle
While these tactics may temporarily mask
distress, they inevitably increase pain in
the long run.

Your Personal Experiences

Wed love for you to to ponder (and/or post) responses to the following questions:

Are you aware of promises that you make that you have a hard time keeping?
Does the explanation of neural-hijacking make something more clear to you?
Have you watched other people become hijacked and been shocked by how they
seem to completely lose touch with their long-term best interests?

We can break the cycle

Anger
Addictions
Emotional Reactivity
Obsessions/Compulsions

Anxiety
Depression
Emotional Eating
Chronic Resentment

Once we change the wiring, automatic circuits ceases to direct us

What is the most powerful word in your life?

Youll have to discover for yourself what the
most powerful word in your life is, but it will be
a word that encapsulates the most important
principle in your life. And when it informs the
other words you say, it will both protect you
from being knocked off balance in verbal
conflicts and help you to stay focused on
achieving your personal and professional
goals.
Andrew Newberg M.D. and Mark Robert
Waldman, Neuroscientists and authors of
Words Can Change Your Brain

Public Library
of Science,
2013
Creswell, J. D., Dutcher, J. M., Klein, W.
M., Harris, P. R., & Levine, J. M. (2013).
Self-affirmation improves problemsolving under stress. PloS one, 8(5),
e62593
Understanding that self-affirmation - the
process of identifying and focusing on
ones most important values boosts
stressed individuals problem-solving
abilities

Journal: Health
Psychology,
2009
Psychological vulnerability and stress:
the effects of self-affirmation on
sympathetic nervous system responses
to naturalistic stressors. Sherman, D. K.,
Bunyan, D. P., Creswell, J. D., & Jaremka,
L. M. (2009).

Journal:
Emotion
Jan. 2015
Self-Affirmation Breaks the Link
Between the Behavioral Inhibition
System and the Threat-Potentiated
Startle Response Crowell A, Page-Gould
E, & Schmeichel B.J. (2015) SelfAffirmation Breaks the Link Between the
Behavioral Inhibition System and the
Threat-Potentiated Startle Response.
Emotion.
17

Glossary
Core Value is the truth about the self
Core Hurts are the lies we come to believe about ourselves
Toddler-brain wiring: Brain circuit that was wired in toddlerhood and that
is hyper-reactive to the experience of being devalued
Self-Sabotage/False Power: Thinking or acting in an effort to relieve
internal distress. Only gain temporary relief while exacerbating long-term
pain.
Adult-Brain/Genuine Power: Ability to act in long-term best interests in
any situation

Core Hurt / Core Value

Core Value is the deepest experience of the self.
When in touch with Core Value you would not act in a
way that would violate your deeper values.
It is only when we are disconnected from Core Value
that we suffer Core Hurts that lead to self-sabotage.
Acts of Value are self-enhancing as they motivate us to
be the "best version of ourselves. Core Hurts are selfdefeating as they motivate behavior that is harmful to
the self and others.
Habits that build Core Value override habits that are
linked to Core19Hurts.

The Team

Drew Gerber
CEO, Wasabi Publicity

Elyse Hope Killoran

Dr. Steven Stosny

Transformational Coach

Dr. Gregory Moore

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Best-Selling Author and Founder

of Bio-Emotional Reconditioning

Value Vaccination
Skill the brain can use automatically in a fraction of a
second to reach core value when aroused with anger,
resentment, anxiety, obsessions, etc.
Lowers baseline: (anger, resentment, anxiety,) in the
stream of unconscious everyday emotion
Baseline lower = waves of negative emotion less
intense
Not suppress, tolerate, ignore, hold it in
Changes automatically like a thermostat
From: devaluing to valuing, core hurts to core value

Statistical Tracking
*

After 1 year, statistical tracking of court-ordered

graduates of Dr. Stosnys Core Value Workshop
demonstrates:

86% violence-free (push, grab) after 1 year,

based on victim report
71% verbal aggression-free after 1 year, based
on victim report
49% reduction in anger-hostility
36% increase in compassion
35% improvement in self-esteem
33% clinical anxiety reduced to normal level

Value Vaccination
Working in the same way as a chemical vaccination,
the Value Vaccination process exposes you to a very,
very small dose of the predominant triggers that set
self-defeating behaviors in motion before infusing
you with a powerful dose of your own personalized
Value antidote.
With repetition over time, the technology:
reinforces a stable sense of Core Value
builds long-term immunity to the negative effects
of Core Hurts (which lead to self-sabotaging
behavior)
overrides the impulses that lead to: chronic anger
and resentment, anxiety, addictions, obsessions,
compulsions, depression, and emotional eating.

Value Vaccination
E

V: Vividly visualize to activate physiological

arousal

A: Allow to feel the Core Hurt

L : Liberate by conditioning cues from one
state with cues from the other, so that the
occurrence of state-A (e.g., anger) activates
state-B (self-compassion) automatically
U: Unify the two seemingly disparate parts of
you
E: Express by translating emotion into action
(Acts of Value)

V
A

Using Technology to Build Neural Circuits

Because Core Hurts were acquired during early childhood,
the ideal way to stimulate and recondition them is via
imagery that accesses the pre-verbal toddler brain directly.
This is why the Value Vaccination processes rely heavily on
imagery and experiential awareness.
With regular Value infusions you can anticipate:
Immediate state changes and long-term improvement in
well being
A stronger and more flexible emotional system (greater
resilience and resourcefulness)
Higher threshold for reactive arousal (over time, no one
can push your buttons for no one will make you feel
vulnerable to a Core Hurt)

To Access the Web Site as a Beta-Tester, please complete the survey at:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/TYRK9QL

Value Vaccination
Critical 6 Weeks of Basic Training to make the reconditioning automatic under stress
Immunity: Each repetition makes you more
immune to the core hurts that drives selfsabotaging behavior
Strengthening exercise: Like pushups, each
repetition makes you stronger.
Skill to practice: Like shooting foul shots, each
repetition makes you more skilled.

Valuable and Lovable

We have valuable and lovable backwards
Our brains are so socially wired that to
devalue others = devalue self
All emotions either lower value or raise value
of your experience (self-value)
Devaluing gives shot of adrenaline
amphetamine affect - feels better than
vulnerability
Most evil in world substituting power for
value

Dr. Steven Stosny

Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the founder of CompassionPower in
suburban Washington, DC. Dr. Steven Stosny's most recent books
are, Living and Loving after Betrayal, How to Improve your
Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love Beyond Words,
and Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally
Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One. He has
appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "The Today Show," "CBS
Sunday Morning," and CNN's "Talkback Live" and "Anderson
Cooper 360" and has been the subject of articles in, The New York
Times, The Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, The Wall
Street Journal, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, O, Psychology Today, AP,
Reuters, and USA Today. He has offered hundreds of workshops all
over the world and has presented at most of the leading
professional conferences. A consultant in family violence for the
Prince George's County Circuit and District courts, as well as for
several mental health agencies in Maryland and Virginia, he has
treated over 6,000 clients for various forms of resentment, anger,
abuse, and violence. He has taught at the University of Maryland
and at St. Mary's College of Maryland.