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Bailey Deitch

Deitch 1
Professor Doran
ENC 2135
3 December 2016
Revision Explanation: Should Medical Marijuana Be Legalized in the US?
After receiving my paper entitled, Should Medical Marijuana Be Legalized in
the US? back, re-reading and reviewing the professors comments, I discovered several
ways to improve it, beginning with the in-text citations that I had not introduced into the
text correctly. I also spent quite a bit of time strengthening my argument, because after rereading the paper, I felt like I could make it stronger. I focused on driving my point home
in each individual section, particularly the sections that showed some positive results for
using medical marijuana, because in my opinion, most states legalized medical marijuana
prematurely, lacking the necessary clinical trials to back up the therapeutic benefits.
Trials should be conducted immediately, but limited legalization must be enacted to allow
reputable universities to have access to conduct the needed studies. I also included in my
thesis, that limited legalization for the sole purpose of research is needed to conduct
further valid and reliable randomly controlled trials. Additionally, I corrected all hanging
indentions on the Works Cited page. I was unaware that I had done it incorrectly when
I initially turned it in. I also researched the original sources to collect the names of
authors that were referenced in my sources, and included them if the text and omitted et
al. Then I corrected all in-text citations to include a period without the comma and
removed et al from the text. Additionally, I corrected all mistakes as noted by the
professor. One of my sources, written by the Drug Free Alliance is listed as a book in my
Works Cited page. I discovered that the URL I initially included was wrong and I made

Deitch

that correction, using the ISBN. Unfortunately, at this time I do not know the page
number of the article that I used as a source from the book. I do know all other pertinent
information, including how many pages the book has and that my article is chapter 3. I
have purchased the book from Amazon and will update that information as soon as I
receive the book. Im excited to read the book and wish that I had known that the
information that I originally used from an online source (and cant seem to find now) was
a book written especially for my age group regarding the pros and cons of medical
marijuana. I would have already ordered it and read it entirely, because it is a compilation
of opposing viewpoints by several experts that discuss whether or not medical marijuana
should be legalized in a balanced format. The only negative thing about my revision is
that it made my paper longer, over 20 pages. I hope that doesnt deter anyone from
reading it because I think it has very pertinent and beneficial information included for
anyone to read. Overall, I think my revision adds a great deal to my paper. It reads much
more smoothly and my argument is much stronger. Im glad I had the opportunity to
make the changes because it really packs a punch now.

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