Dear Matt,

I can honestly say that writing has never been one of my strongest subjects. However, this
quarter has helped me develop crucial skills for writing a successful essay. Before coming into
this class my theses would simply reword the prompt and incorporate three things that I would be
talking about in my essay. Although , I still struggle with theses, I have a better understanding of
how to construct a strong one.
The revision process that was constantly stressed in the class was also helpful. I would be
intimidated by great essays, thinking the writer is so good and that they were able to produce
these great essays with one try. Turns out, not even the best writers can produce a masterpiece on
their first attempt. All successful essays start with shitty first draft which paves the way towards
becoming a successful essay. Revisions of course, have to be made. I used to think that revising
an essay consisted of simply changing a few things but the truth is that one draft can be
completely different from the next. There is always room for revision and the revision process
never truly stops. I am now more capable of identifying areas of improvement within my essays
and I used this knowledge in order to significantly improve two of my WPs.
The first WP I choose to revise was my WP1. Because this essay was done earlier in the
quarter, I believed this one had room for the most improvement. One of the first changes I did
was following the problem model in my introduction. Initially my introduction had been boring
but with the help of the problem model I was able to make it more relatable in order to keep my
audience reading. The problem model also helped me develop a thesis because the thesis would
be the solution to the problem.

I also incorporated more examples into my essay. Previously most of my examples had
been paraphrases of my citations. This was not effective in strongly supporting my arguments
because it did not provide specific examples from the text. Therefore, in my revised essay I
replaced some of the paraphrasing and included important quotes that were more supportive of
my argument.
A problem I encountered on my original WP1 is that because of the large amounts of
paraphrasing that I had, I found myself summarizing large parts of my citations rather than
providing any analysis. I eliminated much of this context details and included more analysis on
how the evidence that I provided was relevant to my genre. The new audience also helped in
doing this because I asked myself what is it they would want to know. The audience of this WP is
a writing 2 student next quarter. They are more interested in the genre and conventions used in
my chosen texts then to read a lot about the texts themselves. I took this into consideration when
revising this WP.
The second WP I chose to revise was my WP2. I think this one was the most difficult to
revise. In my original WP, I had been advised to take out unnecessary information. Awareness of
my audience aided me in this process. Before I had written obvious phrases such as sociologists
have a social perspective. This phrase only takes up space and would frustrate my new audience
because they are aware of this and it adds to further meaning to the text. Taking out such phrases
was helpful in meeting the new page constraints.
I also received advice both from you and a peer regarding my information flow. My topic
sentences did not help in giving my readers an idea of what my paragraph was going to be

discussing. I fixed this by doing a reverse outline. I identified my main points within my body
paragraphs and used these points to improve my topic sentences and information flow.
Lastly, I had to fix a few things within my introduction. My introduction followed the
problem model, which was fine. However, the costs that I state were extreme and I changed this
on my revision. In the introduction I also worked on my thesis statement.
I believe my portfolio will show my growth as a writer between the significant changes in
my original WPs and revised ones. I incorporated most of the advice that was given to me into
my work as well as what I thought was necessary to produce a stronger essay.
Good writing is a necessary skill to have. It is present even outside of a writing or english
class, it is in all disciplines and subjects. I am a math major and one would think I will never
have to do any sort of writing. However, I am sure that one day I will eventually have to write an
essay concerning perhaps mathematical theories. Whatever the case, I am sure to encounter
writing sooner rather than later. When this time comes I will be sure to use the skills I have
developed in this class such as the revision process, concision and clarity, genres, conventions,
information flow and awareness of audience.

Sincerely,
Neftali Rodriguez