Natalie Draper

UWRT 1104-029
Annotated Bibliography
Draft #2

How does jealous affect a person and relationships?

Source

Annotation

Firestone Ph.D.,
Lisa. "What
Drives
Jealousy?"
Psychology
Today.
PsychToday, 26
Sept. 2011. Web.

Jealousy isn't something we have much control over. In

truth, it is a natural, instinctive emotion that everyone
experiences at one point or another. The problem with
jealousy is that it masks other feelings and attitudes that
are even more hurtful to us and those closest to us. Its
intensity is often shielding deep-seated feelings of
possessiveness, insecurity or shame. Lisa Firestone,
who has a Ph.D., believes that what lies at the heart of
jealousy very often isn't the threat itself, but a drive we
have within us to torment ourselves and berate
ourselves with self-critical thoughts.

Thoughts/Connections

Fisher, Ph.D.,
Helen. "Jealousy
The Monster."
Understanding
Jealousy.
Oprah.com,
Sept. 2009. Web.

Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the

demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a
psychological problem. And it's true that people who
feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to
be more jealous than others. But the "monster" actually
evolved for positive reasons. Throughout our past it
discouraged desertion by a mate, bolstering the family
unit and enabling the survival of the young. At the same
time, it has pushed us to abandon philanderersand
many a futile matchin favor of more stable and
rewarding partnerships. Jealousy can even be good for
love. One partner may feel secretly flattered when the
other is mildly jealous. And catching someone flirting
with your beloved can spark the kind of romance that
reignites a relationship. But jealousy can go seriously
awry. Some people, for no apparent reason, become
consumed by it, undermining their self-esteem, and
even driving their partner into another's armsthe very
outcome they had feared. In the worst cases, they
become violent.

I never knew jealousy was

natural. I always thought it
stemmed from society and not
psychology. In my experience, I
got jealous from things that were
out of my control.
I agree that jealousy masks other
feelings. I have had that experience
myself where jealousy took over
my other emotions. A time I can
remember was at a swim meet. In
my race, I finished 2nd with a very
good time. But, I didnt pay
attention to my good time and was
jealous of the girl who got first and
had a better time than I did.
I agree that the drive is what
makes jealousy a thing. If we cant
have something, we are driven
towards it; which creates jealousy.
I found it interesting that therapists
have linked childhood trauma to
jealousy. I didnt know such
trauma could have that affect.
Sometimes, I can be overly
dependent when it comes to certain
things. That can lead to me feeling
jealous.
I have seen situations before where
someone is flattered when their
partner is jealous. Sometimes, that
can be a very toxic thing and
people can take it to the extreme.
Like described, it has driven people
apart, because the other feels too
controlled and trapped in the
relationship. Luckily, I have never
been in a relationship where this is
a problem; so I have never
experience it first-hand.

Seidman Ph.D.,
Gwendolyn.
"What's Really
Behind Jealousy,
and What to Do
About It."
Psychology
Today.
PsychToday, 28
Oct. 2014. Web.

Research has linked several traits to greater jealousy:

1. Low self-esteem
2. Neuroticism: a general tendency to be moody,
anxious, and emotionally unstable
3. Feelings of insecurity and possessiveness.
4. Dependence on your partner. Even asking
people to imagine that they dont have good
alternative partners leads to more negative
reactions to hypothetical jealousy-inducing
scenarios.
5. Feelings of inadequacy in your relationship:
Generally fearing that youre not good enough
for your partner.
6. An anxious attachment style: A chronic
orientation toward romantic relationships that
involves fear that your partner will leave you
or wont love you enough.

Glassman, Ifat.
"Jealousy and
Self-Esteem."
Psychology of
Selfishness. Blog
Spot, 12 Mar.
2009. Web.

Jealousy is about losing a value to someone else (the

context for jealousy is always social). It is a painful
feeling regarding a value one has and is afraid of losing
or something a person has difficulty having, but see
another enjoying. While envy is about something one
does not have, does not believe he can have, and yet see
another person having and enjoying.

Sanoff, Rachel.
"Here's The
Science Behind
Jealousy - And
How to
Overcome It."
Bustle., 06 Feb.
2016. Web.

Jealousy is present within sexual relationships in the

animal kingdom as well, and it often turns violent. In a
study done by Jane Goodall, a female chimpanzee
presented herself to a male chimpanzee, but he ignored
that female chimp and began interacting with another
female. The first female chimpanzee responded by
aggressively slapping the male. Another study took
place where scientists placed a plush bluebird near a
female bluebird who had been mating with a specific
male. That male bluebird began attacking the plush, and
then attacking the female; who had been minding her
own business.

I can relate to #1 and #3, when I

am jealous I feel this way. When
something is higher than me in any
situation, I feel bad about myself
and down.
I can understand #4 and #5 because
I have seen people in the past do
this. My friend went through a
relationship where she was very
dependent. This is also very big in
our current relationship culture and
society.
I can also relate to #5 because I
have experience that myself, in
both friendship and romantic
situation. Others around me have
also.
#6 stands out to me because I do
not quite understand it first hand,
because I have never experience it.
I have had friends in the past feel
this way, but it did not directly
affect me.
These are just general definitions
to help me and the readers have a
better understanding of both envy
and jealousy.
Sometimes they can be mistaken as
the same thing, or as different
things.
Jealousy is more social and
relationship driven, while envy is
more materialistic and about
tangible things.
Envy and jealousy have different
meanings but they all tie back to
one thing; it is about value in
something to a person.

I found it very interesting that

jealousy is a very universal thing,
and does not only exist in human
relationships.
The situations taken place with the
animals have or could happen in
human relationships. But, they all
might not turn out violent like the
animals. The animals go to
violence more than compassion.
The bluebird experiment was very
interesting because the male
attacked both the plush and the
female. In some situations, humans
would only attack the male in

Whitburn,
Susan. "6 Ways
to Break Free
from the Trap of
Jealousy."
Psychology
Today.
PsychToday,
Web. 02 July
2013.

Rosberg, Dr.
Gary and Barb.
"Focus On the
Family."
Healthy and
Unhealthy
Jealousy. Focus
on Family, 3
Apr. 2011. Web.

A study/therapy treatment has been done by Kellett and

Totterdell to research morbid jealousy. It compared two
married women and put their responses into CBT and
CAT; one was assigned to CBT and the other to CAT.
The two women rated how often they had jealous
thoughts and feelings on a daily basis on a 1-9 scale. At
the end of each day, the clients and their partners
recorded their ratings and reflected on the day overall.
They were encouraged not to speak to each other about
their ratings nor to use the ratings in an aggressive
manner to get back at each other. The treatment took
place over 13 sessions following a 3-week assessment
phase. Each client had a so-called formulation of her
jealousy, consisting of a diagram mapping out which
interactions and thoughts seemed to create the most
problems for her. These diagrams served as the guide to
therapy. The findings showed that the two therapy
methods had different effects on the clients and their
partners. Both were effective in reducing symptoms of
jealousy and both alleviated the clients' feelings of
distress. The husband of the CBT-treated client felt less
controlled after therapy ended, but the CAT-treated
partner noticed no changes in jealousy.
Healthy jealousy guards the heart of a marriage because
it:
1. shows your commitment to the relationship
2. protects your marriage by safeguarding the
relationship against evil attacks
3. deepens your openness with each other and
makes you accountable through honest
communication
4. helps you confront major threats to your
marriage and head them off before they become
major problems
Some effects of unhealthy jealousy:
1. You doubt your spouses honesty and
wrongfully accuse him or her, pushing your
spouse away.
2. You feel worthless and unimportant.
3. You become frustrated and overwhelmed.
4. You have a desire to control.
5. You have less sexual intimacy with your
spouse.

much more cases.

Although, in some situations
depending on the male, the male
might attack both the intruder and
the female.
I think Kellett and Totterdell made
the right decision by having the
spouses not tell the other how they
were feeling. If they did this, I feel
it could have influenced the other.
I also thought it was a good idea to
create a map, because someone
who doesnt understand the results
could understand them more with it
right in front of them. If I was
participating, I would want that
also.
It was interesting that the husbands
felt differently than one another.
Although it reduced symptoms of
jealousy in the women, the men
affected differently. Maybe this has
to do with personality.

Healthy and unhealthy jealousy can

create two very different things in a
relationship
I found it interesting that healthy
jealous can protect your marriage.
Maybe if it comes out the right
way, it can lead to more positive
things.
I can see how it confronts major
threats because if it handled the
right way, it can be talked about,
instead of being treated passively.
In terms of unhealthy, I can
understand how it would make
people feel worthless and
unimportant. I can see this in
situations where it is so
overbearing on them, they start to
feel depressed.
I can also see how it you can feel
the desire to control. I have seen
this happen in multiple friends
relationships before. I even myself
have feel the desire to control when
jealous, but I always maintain a
more positive mindset.

Hoyt, Alia.
"How Jealousy
Works - Preteen
and Teenage
Jealousy."
HowStuffWorks
Science.
HowStuffWorks,
3 Feb. 2007.
Web.

Although the demographics of jealousy are difficult to

study, researchers do have special concern about child
and adolescent jealousy. Competition can be tricky for
very young children, likely causing jealousy to rear its
ugly head when it becomes evident that parental love
and attention must be shared with others. Sibling rivalry
is also very common in multi-child households, causing
angst between children and for the parents who have to
put up with near constant bickering. Unfortunately for
weary parents, this behavior is completely normal.
Kidshealth.org recommends that parents refrain from
getting involved in sibling arguments unless there's a
threat of physical harm. This forces the children to deal
with the squabble themselves, rather than relying on the
parent to resolve it. It also minimizes the risk that the
parent may unconsciously side with one child over
another, sparking more fights in the future.

I feel that jealousy can be

dangerous to have in children in
some situations. Like if a kid takes
another kids toy, that kid will
become jealous and could
physically hurt them to get it back.
It should be handled very
delicately at a young age.
Shows kids watch at a young age
can spark this emotion, probably
from learned behaviors around
them. Or, it could be a natural thing
that sparks in everyone. One
example would be the experiments
done with the animals.
I can relate to sibling rivalry
because I have a younger brother.
Luckily, my parents were aware of
what was going on and stopped it
before it came out of control. There
was never a case were my brother
and I were violent.
We always dealt with smaller
issues ourselves, but when I
became bigger my parents would
step in.

Sanoff, Rachel.
"Here's The
Science Behind
Jealousy - And
How to
Overcome It."
Bustle., 06 Feb.
2016. Web.

Things can get violent in nature, but jealousy can

sometimes have a beneficial effect on human
relationships. Witnessing another person's interest in
your partner can awaken your own attraction to your
significant other. However, this analysis of its
evolutionary aspects is not meant to minimize its very
dangerous qualities. For example, jealousy is often the
motivating reason behind domestic violence. The ways
in which other studies analyze jealousy can be
problematic and outdated, blaming the emotion on
heteronormative behavior that no longer applies to
much of the population.

Reporter, Daily
Mail. "The
Green-eyed
Monster That
Lives in Your
Brain: Scientists
Discover the
Jealousy Lobe."
Daily Mail
Online.
Associated
Newspapers, 17

The area of the brain which controls jealousy has been

found. It is the same part which detects real physical
pain, called schadenfreude. In the experiments
conducted by Hidehiko Takahashi, 19 students were
asked to talk of a more successful rival while having
MRI scans, which monitor brain activity. A part of their
frontal lobe became more active when the students felt
jealous of their rivals, the study showed. They then read
a story in which the subject of their envy suffered a
series of misfortunes, including food poisoning. Their
scan data showed the mishaps sparked greater activity
in the 'reward reaction' part of the brain, which

Jealousy can awake violence in

some people. This is not an
unknown fact. This is not a good
thing; I have never experienced
violent jealousy.
If someone is unstable, or not in
the right mindset, a small hint of
jealous can trigger someone into
turning violent towards their
spouse. This is very common now
during this time period.
Some people are stuck in the old
way of thinking, which causes
people to become violent. They do
not know any better, and it is hard
their change their mindset.
It's interesting the part of the brain
which detects physical pain is also
associated with mental pain.
I also find it interesting how they
conducted the experiment. I feel
they did it the right way because
people can response more to a rival
than a strange.
I feel this study shows a lot about
humans as a whole. Having the
part of the brain light up when their

Feb. 2009. Web.

Khanchandani,
Laveena, and
Thomas W.
Durham.
"Jealousy during
Dating among
Female College
Students."
College Student
Journal. Project
Innovation
(Alabama), 01
Dec. 2009. Web.

normally lights up when receiving social and financial

fortune. The scientists noted that the more jealous one
person was of another, the more schadenfreude they felt
at that person's downfall.

A study conducted by Laveena Khanchandani and

Thomas W. Durham, examined the relationship between
several situational and personality variables and
jealousy in dating relationships among 100 college
women volunteers who completed a series of
questionnaires about themselves and their dating
situations. Six research questions were examined.
Results showed that jealousy was lower for women in
a steady dating relationship than for women not in a
steady relationship. Women who were more satisfied
with their dating partner reported lower levels of
jealousy than women who reported less satisfaction
with their dating relationship. Women scoring higher in
self-esteem and lower in neuroticism reported less
jealousy than women who were lower in self-esteem
and higher in neuroticism. No clear relationship was
found between jealousy and the exclusivity of the
dating relationship or commitment to the partner.

rival is hurt also light sup when

receiving social and financial
fortune.
Like noted, this can lead to a
downfall; which I agree with. If a
person is feeling this evil
towards another persons pain, it
wont last long, and will come back
to hurt them in the end.
I can see how the results were
lower for a steady relationship than
a non-steady relationship. I feel
like jealous can make or break a
relationship. If it is present, it can
definitely create a non-steady
relationship.
Along with satisfaction. If you
arent satisfied in a relationship,
you can become jealous of a
relationship were both partners are
satisfied with each other.
When I have low self-esteem I tend
to find myself feeling more jealous.
When I am confident, I dont.
I feel jealousy comes within
yourself and how you are feeling.
Either if its how you feel, how you
feel about your relationship, or
how you feel about life. Jealous
comes from emotions within a
person, not from commitments.