My Renaissance

By Bonnie Barlow

From birth I was raised to believe in our religion primarily and that to deny my religion
would be the greatest sin, unequivocally assuring my afterlife would be damnation. As a child, I
found myself inquisitive on what brands mythology, specifically Greek mythology, fake and my
religion real. I could not distinguish a difference for my conviction in God and the Greeks faith
in Zeus. I questioned my father on the mythology matter and although I did not receive a clear
answer from him on the difference, my beliefs stood unwavering at this point. I grew older and
learned to not question as much as instead I should have been studying from the bible to
understand life around me and to know what to expect in the next life. At that point, my religion
was bringing me more anxiety than peace. My fathers health was compromised; soon he passed
away. I had habitually taken my fathers word as sternly as the word of God and he passing away
severely fractured my beliefs. I found no solace in my religion as it did not present me a logical
way to process death. All the religious customs and beliefs felt arbitrary, but I held onto them
continuing to not think critically.
Eventually, I enrolled in a few classes, including a philosophy class. One of the
philosophers we explored was Epicurus, who lived in Athens during ancient Greek times. I read
an excerpt of Epicuruss Hedonism, which covered his philosophy on death, he said, Death is
nothing to usso long as we exist, death is not with us, but when death comes, then we do not
exist. I interpreted this to know that we should expect no pain in death because it is nothing.
There is nothing to be upset, or disappointed in what my father went through since he was truly
in peace without the worries of the next life. Epicurus helped me process that the next life, if
there was one, should not be worried about because there is simply no way to know what would
be after our existence in this life. I gave up my religion at this point as well. Epicurus was right
when he said there was no way to know death.
More recently, in a business class on critical thinking, I read Epicurus by Collins, and J.
Watts which furthered my understanding on Epicuruss teachings and Epicureanism. I needed
something more to aid in shaping a new way to think without my religion. This reading first
began with an overview of Epicurus's critics and his life in general. Epicurus was often thought
to be gluttonous and greedy with luxuries to fulfill the pleasures he mentioned, but Collins and J.
Watts wanted to put that to rest. The authors, Collins and J Watts, gave a summary of
Epicureanism, they said, Philosophy is the exercise of reason in the pursuit and attainment of a
happy life and thus a situation that brings no enjoyment in the future is to be avoided because
there is no reason for it. Epicuruss philosophy enabled simplistic thinking to what is to be
sought after in life, logically, to enable men to judge with certainty what is to be chosen, and
what to be avoided, to preserve themselves free from pain, and to secure health of body, and
tranquility of mind. Collins and J. Watts are clear on Epicuruss moral expectations through
their passage with weighing out good and evil with happiness and pain. Epicurus speaks to how

one might need to decline a pleasure because it may eventually lead to a greater pain, and thus a
small amount of pain could be acceptable to one because it would also lead to a greater pleasure.
He concluded with reason, distinguishing and comparing the nature and degrees of [pain and
pleasure], that the result may be a wise choice of that which shall appear to be, upon the whole,
good. I could see Epicurus created his philosophy based on the realities of life; he critically
though that there was a cause and effect to actions and that to judge the actions was to know if
they brought pleasure or pain. I could undeniably relate to a philosophy grounded in realities in
things that could be observed and generally agreed upon. Collins and J. Watts also said, And we
might add that Christianity, and every other religious "~anity," fails, because the professors
expect to obtain happiness in the next life, and neglect to work for it in the present one. This
section resonated with me by showing that the realistic focus should be here since this is the life
we know and what we should strive for, while a next potential life is unknown to even exist.
Collins and J. Watts wanted the inquirer [to] but base his investigation and experiments upon
facts. And they anticipated it would lead to happiness. Though this Epicurus reading I felt a
renaissance of thought and found my way to critical thinking with his help; to determine fact and
what is unnecessary to apply towards my life. This could lead to happiness and clarity in my
mind.