Kassandraswp 1

Kassandra Sanchez
WP1
ENG 101-108
Zack DePiero
10/25/2016
Feminism Killed Chivalry ?
The roaring 20s was a metamorphic, life- altering time for women everywhere. It was a
very important movement in the history of feminism; hair was cut short, skirts were also
shortened and dark lipstick was the new style. It was also a time when the chivalrous man
Commented [1]: Cool start, Kassy. Don't forget your

Oxford Comma!
existed. The opening of doors for women, asking for her father's blessing; that was just some of
Commented [2]: 2 thoughts:
the simple benefits and merits of living during this time. Yet as our world has evolved so has our
perspective. Feminism; noun: the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political,
social, and economic equality to men. Women staying home and living for their husbands was
an ideal during the 20s yet these days it would be unfathomable to women every where. As we
gained equal rights as men both according to the law and in the workplace, chivalry has silenced
itself. The Chivalrous Gentleman is a very rare find. I can do anything you can do better is
basically the motto of feminists every where. But why are women to blame for the death of
1, This sentence came up a *bit* abruptly -- is there

any way you can build in a transition from the previous
sentence to get a smoother flow?
2, Id advise you to refrain from using free-floating
quotes (ie, sentences that start and end with a quote).
The reader is probably going to be left wondering,
Who is saying/citing this, and how/why is it relevant?
Wheres it coming from? Try to introduce the quote
and give it context.
Commented [3]: OK, this is an interesting argument,
Kassy. I like how you're basing it on rhetorical
stategies, and I also like how you're telling me what
you're comparing/contrasting (blogs to articles), but I'd
like just a bit more direction/specificity. I'm wondering
*what* rhetorical strategies, exactly, will you be
analyzing?
chivalry? By using both rhetorical strategies and close readings to compare and contrast blogs
and articles, I prove that feminism -as many would blame- did not kill chivalry. Instead the
simple fear and idea of strong women has driven chivalry to silence.
In this simple blog post, writer Martin Daubney says So, there you have it, in teaching
me to be respectful towards women, my mum inadvertently made me a sexist pig. Id make her
Also, I'm wondering if you can play around with the

syntax/wording here: " feminism -as many would
blame- did not kill chivalry. Instead the simple fear and
idea of strong women has driven chivalry to silence."
That took me a couple of read-throughs. What,
exactly, are you saying there? (It might help to put it
more plainly!)
Commented [4]: What blog post? Who is this Martin
guy? Where's all this coming from?
Take a moment to introduce your sources and also
maybe tell me a little about the writer(s) -- that way, I
have a bit of an idea of where all this is coming from.
a cup of tea to thank her, but that might seem sexist, too. His argument claims that, since
women believe they are equal to men simple things like offering to help a woman change a
tire;makes women believe theyre not superior and initially triggers them to call him sexist. His
use of experience in this post allows me to hear his brutal honesty. Yet as Mike Bunn in the
reading How to Read Like A Writer has taught me, writers most times include certain words,
phrases or experiences to change the tone or alter the view of the reader. Leading me to re-read
Commented [5]: A few questions: is this a deliberate

rhetorical strategy? And is he being serious or
sarcastic?
Commented [6]: Wow, I love this intra-paragraph
transition and use of the course readings! Well done!
the article. Although the author speaks on feminism he never seems to speak about what it means
for women. Instead he strictly sticks with the victim persona. Using sentenced like
remorseless public shaming of men doesnt just out the morons. It drives the rest of us into
hiding. This gives the readers a perfect image of the feminist movement. Yet as a woman
reading this, im suprised. Surprised at the fact that a man would fear the power of a woman.
Something that has happened in vice versa for hundreds of years. What does your fear have to do
with being a gentleman? Shouldn't we be encouraged to stand up for what we believe in?
If your children do not act courteously and respectfully, we have no one to blame but
ourselves. I dont think my son will ever forget to hold the door open again. (Chris Jordan)
Commented [7]: One thought about this paragraph,

Kassy: you told me a lot of stuff -- and a lot of it was
interesting and useful for your overall argument. BUT...
I'm wondering how all the pieces fit together? I'm not
saying they don't, but I'd like to know that in *1 topic
sentence that previous what's coming up in the whole
paragraph.* Use your topic sentences like "paragraph
anchors."
Using both experience and logic to shape the reader's views on mothers teaching their children
common manners. Author Chris Jordan expresses her views on chivalry and its place in the 21st
Commented [8]: Not a complete sentence.
century. Holding doors open or even offering help with something heavy is something taught to
young boys by their mothers as they grow up. But what causes them to forget the lessons their
mother had engraved and weaved into their minds? The author caters to a female audience
read in class; the answer is very obvious. The 21s century has evolved the mindsets of our
Commented [9]: I think you want to put a comma here,

not a semicolon. Semicolons separate two complete
sentences. Check this out:
http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/semi-colonscolons-and-dashes/
young men. Leading them to think maybe being a gentleman is unnecessary. But Chris Jordan
And this:
http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/commas/.
offering answers to many questions unasked. Yet like the reading Murder Rhetorically weve
in her experience has put a halt to that thought within her own children. Teaching them, that
being a gentleman means being kind and chivalrous.
Chivalry is dead because feminism killed it. Merica was a tweet sent out December 21
2016 by Cloyd Rivers. It has been re-tweeted over 2829 times. The simple tweet triggered many
feminists to the extreme. These simple eight words have simply created a war between feminists
and anti-feminists. Yet what was the point of this tweet? Was it just written to create chaos in the
Commented [10]: Is there a way you can get this

paragraph to build a bit more smoothly off of the
previous paragraph/sentence? What idea/ideas do
they have in common? How could you connect them
so that the reader understands the transition that
connects everything?
comment section? Or was it a simple answer to a question? Oh no am i gonna break my hand

or overdraw my bank account pls help me avoid those problems with your chivalry was a
comment left by an outraged woman who found his last tweet to be sexist. Yet the tweet only
talked about what a woman shouldn't have to touch on a date. One being the check. Reading the
tweets backwards as we practiced in class has changed my perspective on this man's opinion. If
one were to read the kind tweet first followed by the feminists tweet. It would change the entire
tone of these tweets. Yet his first tweet started off as a chivalrous tone and motto to women
everywhere and ended in such a scary statement. Why did he get offended so fast?
In new poll numbers it shows that men would prefer women be drafted into the military
as often as they are according to DailyWire.com. What exactly does this mean? Well as per the
words of the blog , feminism has murdered chivalry. Since women don't need the help of a man
both legally and emotionally maybe it's time for them to be physically equal. It is no longer a
man's job to protect our country.Modern day feminism harms women He states. Since
feminists believe that a woman can do what a man can do then maybe it's time for women to be
Commented [11]: Lots of good info, but don't forget to

remind me of how/why this relates back to your main
argument. Don't let the textual evidence just "sit there"
-- make sure you do the work of telling me how/why it's
an important puzzle piece.
enlisted and drafted into the army like millions of other men who are drafted, sometimes against
their will. The author in this article uses logos to help solidify his meaning. Men of this
generation would be looked down upon by men of the past. This county was built and created on
the pride of a man. Yet now they fear or even hate feminism so much they would prefer a woman
on the front lines?
In conclusion, women and men have been playing a game of tag. Pointing fingers to who
is to blame over the idea of chivalry. Since women have implemented and encrypted the idea of
feminism into the minds of men everywhere, the thought of offending or even coming off as
sexist has scared men to the point of not even trying. What are men to do? Is it sexist to hold the
door open for a woman? This could be viewed and debated from two different parties. Yet in my
belief, chivalry has survived the waves and aftershocks of feminism. Women are strong and
capable of rescuing themselves yet every woman does need a superman. Although these tweets
and articles show that chivalry share different opinions and statements made by different authors
of different views and perspectives.This has been an ongoing debate for many years. By simply
using rhetorical strategies and different ways of reading i've been able to decipher and analyze
the thoughts of different authors to conclude that maybe women aren't to blame for the death of
chivalry. Instead the fear and new mindset of this generation has simply silenced it.
Work Cited
Shapiro, Ben. "Feminism Murdered Chivalry: New Poll Shows Men Want Women Drafted Into
The Military." Daily Wire. N.p., 02 Oct. 2016. Web. 25 Oct. 2016
(.http://www.dailywire.com/news/6239/feminism-murdered-chivalry-new-poll-shows-men-wantben-shapiro)
Daubney, Martin. "Chivalry Is Dead and Feminism Is to Blame." The Telegraph. Telegraph
Media Group, n.d. Web. 25 Oct. 2016.(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinkingman/10648415/Chivalry-is-dead-and-feminism-is-to-blame.html)
Jordan, By Chris. "Has Feminism Killed Chivalry and Good Old Fashioned Manners?" Alpha
Mom. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Oct. 2016.(http://alphamom.com/parenting/has-feminism-killedchivalry-and-good-old-fashioned-manners/)
Rivers, Cloyd. "Chivalry Is Dead Because Feminism Killed It." Twitter. N.p., 21 Dec. 2016.
Web.
(https://twitter.com/cloydrivers/status/546866213432090624)
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ENG 101-108 Feedback Matrix for WP1
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Table of Textual Features and Qualities

Did Not Meet
Met
Exceeded
Expectations
Expectations
Expectations
X/X-

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Thesis Statement

Use of Textual Evidence from

Genres
X+

Use of Course Readings
X/
Analysis

Organization/Structure
X-
Attention to Genre/Conventions

and Rhetorical Factors
Main Focus was Placed on the
X+
Writing Itself and the Writers

Choices (Rather than the Topic)
Sentence-level Clarity, Mechanics,
Flow

Comments and Grade
Kassy,

Wooo, Im impressed with your work here! With just a

little tweaking, this is going to make a great final final
paper for your portfolio. Alright, so please check out my
comments on some ways to enhance this paper. Here are
some extra suggestions:

- The more of a roadmap that I have from the get-go, the

easier of a job Ill have in following you throughout your
paper. Really fine-tune that thesis statement and get it as

crisp as you can. What, exactly, are you arguing in this

paper? Try to capture that idea in 1 sentence, and make
sure you put it in the last sentence of your intro.
-Once you fine-tune that argument/thesis, make sure that
ALL the textual evidence that you bring in supports your

argument and then tell me HOW/WHY it supports it.
Help me SEE what you want me to see, and help me
UNDERSTAND how/why it supports your argument.
-Id like you to ask yourself: what overall organization
would work best for the argument youre making? How

can you best lead your reader through your ideas, 1 piece at
a time? What do they need to know FIRST? Then, what
can build off of that in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph, etc? Also,
on that note, pick 1 main idea per paragraph and then run
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with it. Stay focused within your paragraph.

-There were a few places where, as I was reading, I

wondered: hmmm why is she putting THIS sentence
here? Or THIS paragraph here? I want you to take
another look to see if you can find some connections
between sentences or paragraphs that you can tighten up
with transitions. You dont wanna leave youre reader
wondering: how do these ideas fit together?
-Lastly, Id like to see you use a bit more of the course
language/vocab. How can our readings can help you

explore/examine the ideas youre bringing into this paper?
I want to be clear, though: all told, Im very proud of you.

Nice work here. This is a very good start, and Im

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expecting this to be a badass research paper for the

portfolio.
18/20


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Kassandra Sanchez

Commented [1]: Cool start, Kassy. Don't forget your

1, This sentence came up a *bit* abruptly -- is there

Also, I'm wondering if you can play around with the

Commented [5]: A few questions: is this a deliberate

Commented [7]: One thought about this paragraph,

Commented [8]: Not a complete sentence.

Commented [9]: I think you want to put a comma here,

Commented [10]: Is there a way you can get this

comment section? Or was it a simple answer to a question? Oh no am i gonna break my hand

Commented [11]: Lots of good info, but don't forget to

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

ENG 101-108 Feedback Matrix for WP1

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond, 19 pt, Bold

Table of Textual Features and Qualities

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Use of Textual Evidence from

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond, Bold

Use of Course Readings

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond, Bold

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond, Bold

and Rhetorical Factors

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond, Bold

Main Focus was Placed on the

Writing Itself and the Writers

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Choices (Rather than the Topic)

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Sentence-level Clarity, Mechanics,

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Comments and Grade

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Wooo, Im impressed with your work here! With just a

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

- The more of a roadmap that I have from the get-go, the

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond, Bold

crisp as you can. What, exactly, are you arguing in this

-Once you fine-tune that argument/thesis, make sure that

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

ALL the textual evidence that you bring in supports your

-Id like you to ask yourself: what overall organization

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

would work best for the argument youre making? How

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond, Superscript

with it. Stay focused within your paragraph.

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

-There were a few places where, as I was reading, I

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

-Lastly, Id like to see you use a bit more of the course

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

language/vocab. How can our readings can help you

I want to be clear, though: all told, Im very proud of you.

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

expecting this to be a badass research paper for the

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Formatted: Font: (Default) Garamond

Das könnte Ihnen auch gefallen

1, This sentence came up a bit abruptly -- is there