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Paul Mendoza
English 115
Professor Beadle
October 3rd, 2016
The Unwritten Rules
Society has constructed gender throughout the ages with false ideas about how each
person should act. Society has never taken into account the possibility that all people fall into
more than -two categories of gender; they have misconstrued all the types of gender to coincide
with a persons sex regardless of the persons feelings and personality. It is obvious that gender
has been shaped by peoples surroundings and is constantly forced upon them since birth through
their family, community, and clothing; however it is becoming more acceptable to be honest with
oneself in todays world through social media, entertainment, and growing LGBTQ
communities. Articles written by Claire Renzetti, and Daniel Curan, and Hubbard state the
differences with gender and sex. They show that society has socially constructed gender in a way
that does not allow individuals to express themselves freely. The authors all agree that gender
was meant to entrap people in these roles in which there is no escape, within the social norm
that is the male and female genders because they have been subconsciously trained to do so for
centuries. Members of our society unconsciously force these two genders on people and make it
difficult for people to express themselves how they truly feel.
Society has placed boundaries and limitations on how children should be raised, forcing
children to be branded as a girl or a boy. Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran state, Toys for boys
tend to encourage exploration, manipulation, invention, construction, competition, and
aggression. In contrast, girls toys typically rate high on manipulability, but also creativity,

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nurturance, and attractiveness (Renzetti/Curran 82). Boys and girls have specific types of toys
that they should play with, in turn planting societys idea of gender into these kids. A friend of
mine, Blake, grew up in a Southern Christian household, although growing up a gay male he
often found himself being forced to play with girls toys because his father saw his femininity
as a weakness and joke. He found that Blake was different and was ousted from his family in a
way because of this; his father had a plethora of ways to treat his son with disrespect and mock
his gender and did so everyday. Because Blake was a male, with feminine characteristics, his
father saw him as inferior because that is how women in society are treated. By being forced to
play with typical girls toys, his father is forces this idea that he will never be superior in his
fathers eyes in addition to societys eyes. This is a perfect example of how society treats those
who identify outside of the gender norms created, they are chastised and cast out. In addition
another friend of mine, who is a girl, would play with toys usually advertised for boys. She
constantly played with army men and transformers yet her parents would pay no mind to this
behavior. In the eyes of society, girls are either less likely to stray from the gender norm so as a
result they are able to play with toys advertised for the opposite sex without much attention
drawn to them by their parents. Composing Gender tells about a study in which parents cared
immensely more if their boy plays with dolls rather than more masculine toys, (Goodwin 88).
The parents treated the boys somewhat rougher than the girls in an attempt to make sure they are
growing up, as society wants men to be: tough, violent, emotionless people.
Familys ideals, values, and standard of living are all things that children take in as soon
as they are born, which shapes who they are as humans. Renzetti and Curran state that,
parents associate their childs sex with specific personality and behavioral traits is further
evidenced by the effort they put into ensuring that others identify their childs sex correctly

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(Renzetti and Curran 77). Parents today often feel as though it is a fault, if their child identifies
as gay, lesbian, trans etc. They have been conditioned to believe that men should act manly and
anything different from that is unacceptable, girls are not viewed to this extreme, hence tomboys being an acceptable trait. In the 21st century people are attempting to raise their children in
a neutral way, unbiased towards either gender allowing the child to realize and choose who they
are. Most people are not given the opportunity to choose their gender and instead are being
assigned roles by society while completely neglecting whom they are in order to fit in to the
social norm. Children do not get a choice to identify as any specific gender; they are forced into
one by their parents. Parents often dress their children differently because of their sex and expect
them to comply with this gender. No one has the right to tell another human being who they are,
that is up to that individual. It is a basic human right to express yourself as you are and to not be
forced into a specific class because society deems that appropriate.
Throughout history, a persons community and people surrounding them have a very
large impact on individuals because no one wishes to be a social pariah. In Petra Doans article,
The Tyranny of Gendered Spaces: Reflections from Beyond the Gender Dichotomy, is a story
about a transgender person being harassed by another person because they are transgender. After
being harassed for being transgender, Gardner, a trans person, attempts to explain her feelings as
she states, My gender expression in that public space offended his sense of appropriate public
behavior and he acted to sanction that violation in as public a fashion as possible (Doan 58).
This behavior is very prevalent in the lives of trans people and those who do not comply with the
gender roles. People will do everything they can in order to put others in their place and force
them in to one of the two main genders. He chose to embarrass this person simply because their
identity did not comply with the normality in todays culture. These norms are something that is

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hard to change, even though very brave individuals come out, and have disrupted the norm
there is still much to do. Hubbard states, norms are self-fulfilling prophecies that do not merely
describe how we are but prescribe how we should be (Hubbard 47). Although I have never
experienced this heinous behavior it is prevalent through social media and its prevalence in the
world today is saddening. All of these articles share the same tone; they are trying to convey to
the reader that there is more out there, in the world, than what society is confining you to see.
Their purpose is to change the world into a more accepting place, There is enough variability
among us to let us construct a society in which people of both sexes contribute to whatever
activities (Hubbard 51). I personally will use the knowledge gained from the readings to
further encourage acceptance among the LGBTQ community. The world is an ever-changing
place in which people must be more accepting in order for us to live in peace.
Gender is a topic that many people neglect to bring up; it has never been challenged like
it has today. Since the flow was disrupted people obviously were against the movement and
belief that there are more than two genders. Genders are not determined by sex, it is shaped by
their experiences and surroundings since birth and is brought upon them since birth through
everything from clothes to family. It is still argued with by people all over the world for different
reasons whether it is because of religion or just the personal belief that sex and gender are equal
in meaning. This makes it difficult for people to be honest with themselves, however the world is
changing and becoming more accepting. It is hitting turbulence and those caught in it cannot
thrive but it is happening less and less.

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Works Cited
Doan, Petra. The Tyranny of Gendered Spaces: Reflections from Beyond the Gender
Dichotomy. Composing Gender. By Rachel Groner and John F. OHara. Bedford/St. Martin's,
Boston, 2014, pp. 5364.
Hubbard, Ruth. Rethinking Women's Biology. Composing Gender. By Rachel Groner
and John F. OHara. Bedford/St. Martin's, Boston, 2014, pp. 4651.
Curran, Daniel, and Claire Renzetti. From Women, Men, and Society. Composing
Gender. By Rachel Groner and John F. OHara. Bedford/St. Martin's, Boston, 2014, pp. 7684.