Ashtons Street Child Narrative:

Jim awoke, in the trashed smelly mysterious alleyways still in deep pain after his
cruel pounding at the workhouse. Jim was Itchy, smelly, out of food and homeless .

Down the road, back in the workhouse the grumpy carpet beaters and all the kids
had realized Jim had made his escape. Slowly beginning to move Jim's mind was
racing with wonder. Jim had lots of wonderment of if he would be caught and
what would happen if he was.

After walking for a while Jim began to start building up his pace to a running
eed , Jim found a dark foggy, gloomy alleyway with a ripped raggy couch an old
s of wood and steel. Laying down on the old rugged couch his eyelids became
vy and Jim started to dose. Suddenly he heard loud CLIT CLATS of horses hooves
he street Jim sprung up off the couch and hid behind it. Glancing around the
r of the couch, a massive brown horse and cart trotted past.

e next morning Jim was wide awake and excited he was hoping to find his
Hiding the shadows of the houses to hide his workhouse clothes he was
g he was an agent on a mission to find his sisters before he gets

gan to hide behind the London hills Jim found a place to sleep and
a deep sleep.

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Narrative
Criteria

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

Sentence
Types

Mainly simple
sentences with some
compound sentences.

Mainly simple and

compound sentences
and some complex
sentences.Questions
and speech used.

A good range of sentences used.

Complex sentences used to link
paragraphs and steps with
punctuation (commas) usually
accurate.

Sentence
starters

Most sentences start

similarly either with the
proper or pronoun eg
Jim or he

A range of different
starters in including
adverbial phrases to give
reader variety and detail.

Sentences starters are regularly

recrafted to add variety. Adverbial
phrases are added selectively for
effect. Some deleting occurs at
recrafting stage.

Punctuation
, Grammar
(Editing)

Some full stops and

capital letters present in
wrong places.
Sentences often with
grammatical errors

Capital letters and full

stops mostly accurate.
Speech punctuation
accurate with variety.
Some other punctuation
present eg ! ? , ;

A good range of punctuation used

including colons, questions marks,
dashes and most commas to mark
clauses in complex sentences are
accurate. Risks taken with
advanced punctuation eg
semicolon

Organisatio
n

Ideas grouped loosely

Paragraphs used to
separate character
description, time and
places etc

Ideas clearly organised. Most

paragraphs open and closed
clearly. Good flow between
paragraphs.

Vocabulary

Some specific word

selections.

A range of ambitious
words used to add
interest. Some use of
figurative language eg
simile and metaphor.

Words and phrases regularly

upgraded and/or deleted to add
variety. Selectivity happening. I will
add this word here because it will

Detail /
Elaboration

Mainly a list of actions

of characters. Little
description and
emotion.

Some detail added to

support clear picture for
the reader. Character
emotion included

Carefully selected detail added

which includes dialogue,
description of setting and character
emotion shown not told.

Structure &
purpose.

Basic opening with a

middle and ending

Clear structure An
opening with a deliberate
hook. Some build up to a
climax and resolution.

An engaging and exciting opening

that enables the reader to be
interested in what they are
reading. A range of hooks used
throughout.

Language
features

Some inconsistent
tense and person eg
present and past
tense.

Mostly accurate tense

and person.
3rd person / present
tense.

Tense and person is consistent

throughout and sometimes
deliberately different. Flashbacks
included