Alcala 1

Richard Alcala
Professor Beadle
English 115
December 1, 2016
Before and After
When I came to CSUN to major in mathematics and teach at a high school level, I never
taught to myself that I would have to take a writing class to graduate. I wasnt too confident with
my writing skills. When the first essay came around, I believed that I did a good job, but when I
got it back graded. I realized that I must work harder and put more effort into my work. Now I
am certain that through-out the semester, that my Writing skills have improved and meet the
requirements for writing at college level.
When progression one came, the prompt had the writer, describe a main idea that two or
more authors from Composing Gender supported and why it was important. What I wrote was a
main Idea that described its importance to society which was headed in a different direction of
what the prompt wanted. As seen on the first page of progression one, my introduction lacks a
thesis. Did you just assume my gender? A meme almost as popular as Harambe, but has anyone
really taken the time to think about the true meaning about this meme. The gay community has
been around for years and is well established. They have faced many issues thru out the years,
but new questions in todays world have come up more and more often. In todays world, the
main topic everyone argues about is Gender and sex. How is gender developed? Why is gender
not the same thing as sex? But the main question is, how is gender developed thru society or are
you just born with it? As one can see, it asks a broad range of rhetorical questions and it tries to
use modern media as an attention grabber. there is no relation to the topic specified in the rest of
the introduction, not to mention that The gay community has been around for years. Just

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stopping there, it has no relation with the rest of the argument. Now after a major revision and
addressing the prompt to the fullest of my ability, I could come up with a well specific argument.
One may look to the future and imagine, the number of children they wish to have with their
partner. The moment anyone sees what sex the baby is, even if its boy or girl they would expect
it to grow up as to what the sex categorizes them to. Judith Lorber and Aaron Devor, share the
main idea that sex is not what determines ones gender, but how we learn from society itself.
Gender is used as a guide to help humans behave and take responsibility based on what they
would identify themselves as. To understand gender; one must learn, that gender is created
through social and cultural interactions and is not biological. I may be using block Quotes, but it
is necessary to compare both the original and the revised. In the revised, I argue that Lorber and
Devor, support the idea that gender is socially constructed and the importance of it. Where in the
original I address the importance of why social interaction shapes gender and other
miscellaneous topics.
The next problem that I faced, was sentence structure and grammar. In progression two,
my Argument was a little bit more specific but it still lacked. With the rest of the paper it could
give the reader an idea of what was my argument. When the reader would get to my counter
argument, my topic sentence that introduces the other side of the argument was too vague. As
seen here: This Carls Jr. ad, involves a lot of sexualization, but on the other hand, Victoria
Secret a clothing company for women, released a new line of lingerie in 2014. Victoria Secret
titled it, The Perfect Body. Women of course would like to buy this line of lingerie, but there are
some women that dont fit the perfect body image that Victoria Secret tries so hard to teach
young women. All what the explanation gives is a new advertisement and how women feel, the
question that I didnt answer was why. In the revise version of the essay I inserted . Women

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accepted Victoria Secret as a well respectful place to shop for undergarments and other products
made for women. When Victoria Secret released The perfect body, it made many women feel
uneasy The answer to why? Was that women enjoyed going to Victoria secret, but when that
line of lingerie came out they felt betrayed and unrespected because they dont fit the image.
This shows that before, I lacked the ability to give a clear explanation of what the claim was, but
now I can provide a good explanation of what the claim is why it is important.
The last thing that made my essays lack so much support and proof of understanding the
reading was that, I wouldnt do them ahead of time. Throughout the entire of the semester I
would always rush last minute or the night before to write an essay only focusing on points. After
Progression two was turned and did it two days before it was due. I realized that putting time into
work really plays off. Something that I didnt learn in high school. There was never a punishment
for turning something in that didnt show understanding and instead was only rewarded for
completion. Coming to college has taught me that there is major consequence. If it wasnt for
this class I would still be writing like an eighth grader or worse. After all, three progressions
have been turned in, I feel that I have a full understanding on what is expected of a college paper
and knowledge on gender; because not only are your grades on the line, but so is thousands of
dollars on the line.