Working Draft and Cover Letter

by Milizhia Mills

FILE

WORKING_DRAFT .DOCX (15.76K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

12-SEP-2016 07:30PM

WORD COUNT

639

SUBMISSION ID

704173101

CHARACT ER COUNT

2872

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Cap. Error
3

Working Draft and Cover Letter

GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

100

Instructor
Milishia,

You've written a very strong draf t! I'm seeing specif ic

events f rom your past with indications that tie it to
reading and writing. You've f urther begun to develop
one of your events in f urther detail, expanding on it
f urther in relation to reading. Excellent!

/100

Now, especially in regards to your introduction: if

you could of f er a central, connecting idea that ties
these events together, what would it be?
Sometimes, thinking of your writing in terms of "so
what?" can help f ormulate a main idea. What do you
want your readers to understand about these
events as they read through them? T heir
signif icance? T his will help give your writing a central
f ocus, and f urther help in developing a conclusive
"takeaway."
Your organization is developing nicely; I appreciate
how you discussed your ideas in dif f erent
paragraphs.
Keep up the hard work!

PAGE 1

Comment 1
Good MLA header! Just be sure its in T NR, 12 pt. f ont. Also, you want it to 1" f rom the top of
the page.

Comment 2
If it's any comf ort, I'm not making any judgment calls on your experiences. I f eel that all that's
happened to us as individuals have brought us to where we are today.

QM

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Comment 3
Here, I would encourage your introduction ending on a direction, or main idea, f or your readers.
If you could summarize a central thread, or important connection, between all these important
events, what would it be?

Comment 4
She sounds inspirational!

Comment 5
T his seems important; perhaps you could elaborate on how this helped you?
PAGE 2

Comment 6
Here, you only want your last name and page number to reoccur on each page. You only need
the f our-line header on the f irst page.
PAGE 3

Comment 7
T his is def initely a more dif f icult essay to develop; however, the events/connections I've read in
your draf t are def initely headed in a good direction. Your work is showing!

Comment 8
I'm going to double check that now.

RUBRIC: TEXTUAL ANALYSIS

CRIT ERION 1 (5%)

0 / 10 0

0 / 100

PROCESS / WRIT ING GROWT H

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Process work is present and provides strong evidence that student has participated
Clear evidence of strong development Strong evidence of revision

PROFICIENT
(93)

Process work is present and evidence of participation is clear Evidence of idea

development is present Evidence of ef f ective revision

DEVELOPING
(86)

Some evidence of process work Attempts at idea development but ideas are
lacking in some way Little evidence of revision

LACKING
(77)

Very little evidence of process work Idea development is severely lacking

Evidence of revision is severely lacking

UNSATISFACTORY
(69)

Participation in process work, development of ideas, and/or evidence of revision is

incomplete or insuf f icient

CRIT ERION 2 (30%)

0 / 100

CONT ENT / CRIT ICAL T HINKING

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Fully accomplishes purposes of the assignment Demonstrates insightf ul

understanding of concepts and content Raises provocative questions or gives
insightf ul interpretations Strong attempts to be appealing and interesting according
to audience and purpose

PROFICIENT
(93)

Accomplishes the purpose(s) of the task well Demonstrates sound understanding

of the concepts and content Clear attempts to be appealing and interesting
according to audience and purpose

DEVELOPING
(86)

Accomplishes the purpose(s) of the task Demonstrates adequate understanding

of the concepts and content Omits or misinterprets some less important ideas
Writer is struggling to create interesting writing to audience and purpose

LACKING
(77)

Partially accomplishes the purpose(s) of the task Demonstrates some

understanding of concepts and content Omits or misinterprets many important
Writer made little attempt to present interesting writing to audience and purpose

UNSATISFACTORY
(69)

Does not accomplish the purpose(s) of the task Demonstrates no understanding

of major concepts and content T otally unrelated to the assignment Not enough
writing to evaluate; illegible; blank

CRIT ERION 3 (20%)

0 / 100

RHET ORICAL KNOWLEDGE / CLARIT Y

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Evidence/examples are organized logically and ef f ectively T opic, purpose, and

f ocus are exceptionally clear Includes a clear point or thesis

PROFICIENT
(93)

Evidence/examples are adequately organized logically and ef f ectively T opic,

purpose, and f ocus are very clear and Includes a point or thesis

DEVELOPING
(86)

Evidence/examples are somewhat organized T opic, purpose, and f ocus are

somewhat clear Main point or thesis has some issues with understandability

LACKING
(77)

Organization attempted Evidence/examples are disorganized or inappropriate

T opic, purpose, and f ocus are lacking in clarity Main point or thesis has several
issues with understandability

UNSATISFACTORY
(69)

No organization pattern evident T his aspect of the piece is incomplete/insuf f icient.

Work shows little to no evidence of rhetorical knowledge/clarity.

CRIT ERION 4 (15%)

0 / 100

ST YLE
EXEMPLARY
(100)

Coherent content that f lows smoothly f rom idea to idea

PROFICIENT
(93)

Sentence style and word choice are ef f ective/appropriate

DEVELOPING
(86)

Sentence style and word choice are somewhat ef f ective

LACKING
(77)

Does not f low smoothly f rom idea to idea

UNSATISFACTORY
(69)

Sentence style and word choice are inef f ective

CRIT ERION 5 (15%)

0 / 100

KNOWLEDGE OF CONVENT IONS

EXEMPLARY
(100)

Little to no issues in readability Writer displays strong ability to use grammatical

conventions appropriately

PROFICIENT
(93)

Some minor issues in readability Writer displays strong ability to use grammatical
conventions appropriately

DEVELOPING
(86)

Some issues that limit overall communication

LACKING
(77)

Many issues in readability Issues f requent enough to detract f rom overall

communication

UNSATISFACTORY
(69)

Piece is dif f icult to read/hear/understand. Little to no attention has been given to

making the piece clear to audience. Errors completely hinder communication

CRIT ERION 6 (15%)

MLA FORMAT

0 / 100

EXEMPLARY
(100)

0-1 errors in MLA f ormat

PROFICIENT
(93)

2-3 errors in MLA f ormat

DEVELOPING
(86)

4-5 errors MLA f ormat

LACKING
(77)

6-7 errors in MLA f ormat

UNSATISFACTORY
(69)

8 or more errors in MLA f ormat