SRILA BHAKTI VEDANTA NARAYANA MAHARAJAS VIST TO

NEW BRAJA (BADGER) & OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA

May June 1997
An interesting thing happened four days ago, after mangala-arati. Often after mangala-arati.
Maharaja's doors are open, and, at least for a few minutes, before his morning walk, his room
becomes filled with devotees from Badger, and other cites and other countries, who are offering
obeisances and waiting for sprinkles of mercy. Four days ago, one young bearded man who had
arrived in Badger the day before, came in to be introduced to Gurudeva for the first time. His
name was Majnun. Gurudeva asked him how he'd come here, and he said he came because of
Krsna Vallabah Didi who he had met in Hawaii. She had given him some of Gurudeva's books
and tapes. He said that he was so inspired that he sold all his belongings to pay for his trip to
Badger.
Gurudeva immediately picked him out as his very own, and walked up to him and asked him
whether he wanted to come to India with him. Majnun said yes, but that he had no money.
Gurudeva looked at him intently and said, "You should become brahmacari and live in the Matha
with my other brahmacaris and be trained by them. You should be just like my brahmacaris and
never marry. They don't have desire for anything else. They will never marry, never go home,
and some will take renounced order. Some of my girls also are like that." Maharaja continued
speaking to the young man, "You have to become like a flute. A flute is empty, and the flute
player blows air into the flute, and according to that, the flute plays. Krsna plays on His flute,
and that same tune is played by the flute. You should be empty like that, and whatever Gurudeva
breathes into you, that's what you should think and feel. You should have no separate desire than
that of Gurudeva."
One hour later I was doing a japa walk on the grass near the pandal where Gurudeva gives class.
I heard sobbing and wailing from a distance. I walked up hill to see what was wrong. It was
Majnun lying in the grass and weeping. I asked what was wrong. He sat up and said "Nothing is
wrong, but now I can't go back to material life. Nothing is there for me anymore because I was
stung by a bee and this bee was full of nectar. I can't explain it, but I can't go back. What came
from Maharaja's eyes and mouth changed my whole life." Two days later Majnun shaved up and
became Madhavananda Dasa.
This is not and uncommon story in New Vraja. As everywhere else, Gurudeva is putting flower
hearts in his pocket to offer to Radha Krsna, and as he told Gopa-vrndapala in Navadvipa two
months ago, "Once I put a heart into my pocket, there are no refunds."
One devotee, Ananda didi, daily gives Srila Gurudeva a medical treatment (aerosal therapy) for a
few minutes a day with a machine that delivers a fine mist into a mask that covers Gurudeva's
nose and mouth. It helps him to breathe easier at this altitude (about 1000 meters). Navina Krsna
prabhu said that even if you read these reports, or even if you hear tapes or see videos of this
western preaching, you cannot understand what kind of preaching is going on here. The only
way to understand and realize, is to be here. It is so overwhelming. People walk around here with
tears in their eyes.
Practically every evening after his lecture, Srila Maharaja and all the assembled devotees watch
dramas (Maharaja continues to sit on his vyasasana) put on by Badger devotees -- sometimes by
the adults and sometimes by the children,and they are all are very expert. At the end of the play,
Gurudeva blesses and touches their heads or embraces them. During the dramas he places his

chaddar over his mouth and nose, to sometimes hide his laughing, and sometimes his crying,
according to the mood of the drama. Some of the many dramas were : 1) 'Astavakra, Janaka
Maharaja & his assembly of sages', 2) Sakshi Gopala, 3) Lord Nrsimhadeva, 4) Haridasa
Thakura and the prostitute.
In the evening classes Gurudeva is quickly & progressively going through the entire SrimadBhagavatam, and tonight he will start 10th canto - beginning from Krsna's birth, and we'll see
how far he goes until the completion of his stay in Badger (two days from now, at which time he
will go to San Francisco).
For the last few evenings he is discussing the comparative studies in the degrees of bhakti
between Dhruva Maharaja, Prahlada Maharaja, Ambarisa Maharaja & Citraketu (Vrtasura). He
explained these differences in terms of the 'anya abhilashita sunyam' sloka of Sri Rupa Gosvami.
Dhruva Maharaja is sakam bhakta, and his relationship is only with ksirodaksai visnu. There is
no question of service -- he only become free from sorrows and sufferings. Maharaja said "we
don't want to be like Dhruva" (it's a good thing that we had heard from Srila Prabhupada, and
read from his books about the greatness of Druva Maharaja and his austerities, so that we have
faith in him despite hearing about him in relatio to higher devotees. So now, when we hear from
Gurudeva, how Dhruva Maharaja is a lakh times lower than aforementioned other bhaktas, we
don't commit any offence to him).
Maharaja continued to explain that Prahlada is so much higher than Dhruva. Prahlada is a jnani
bhakta. But there is also some problem with that, in terms of the 'anya abhilasita sunaym ' sloka.
There is no question of much "anukulyen Krsna anusilanam" with Prahlada Maharaja because,
according to Prahlada, the Lord is so great and transcendental, that He has no appetite, no hunger
and thirst, and he doesn't require any service, so why should I serve ? Where is the possibility of
serving, garlanding and worrying about the lord ? Then the next evening, Maharaja surprised the
assembled devotees by telling them that Maharaja Ambarisa is so much higher then Prahlada
Maharaja in terms of the 'anya abhiashita sunyam' sloka. This is because he is always serving
with all of his senses Srila Maharaja then spoke elaborately about how Vrtrasura is so much
higher than the previously mentioned bhaktas, because he has a leaning towards Vraja-bhakti. He
explained Vrtrasura's prayer about calling Krsna constantly, like the baby bird, and the baby calf,
and ultimately serving like the beloved wife when the husband is away. This is a very important
verse, very important, Maharaja said, and he wants us all to know and understand it. (verse
6.11.26) He concluded by saying "don't make offenses to the other above mentioned devotees,
thinking them lower, otherwise if you have such pride, you will fall down."
Because yesterday was pratipada (first day after purnima/amavasya) Srila Gurudeva held an
anakuta celebration, offering 130 preparations, cooked by devotees. You might ask at this point,
"how can there be an anakuta ceremony without Govardhana?" The answer is that outside of
Nanda Gopala prabhu's house there is a small hill about 10 feet high. It is a partly natural and
partly man-made assemblage of rocks, grasses, plants and flowers -- very very beautiful, like a
painting. Maharaja had several Govardhana silas of devotees placed on an altar at the foot of this
hill, along with the 130 plates of bhoga. He then performed an elaborate bhoga offering
ceremony, starting 'idam asanam klim Govardhanaaya namah' .... idam nevedyam klim
govardhay namah', and then he called the names of all the other offerings along with all the
devotees he bathed Govardhana with milk and other ingredients. After the offering he made an
announcement that "Govardhana has eaten all of your offerings and now he is saying - anayor,
anayor...." Then lead by Maharaja, everyone circumambulated Govardhana hill four times,
following in the footsteps of Sanatan Gosvami. Then Maharaja spoke a few words after chanting
some mantras. "From this day Govardhana is here. This hill is Govardhana. No one should stand
on this hill from now on." And he called down some devotees who were sitting on the hill.

Maharaja is so powerful that, as a palya dasai of Srimati Radhika, He was able to call Giri
Govardhana all the way from Goloka Vrndavana, to sit down here in Badger. It was a very
mystical event. Navina Krsna prabhu told me in the evening that he asked Maharaja, "Why are
you showing so much affection for these devotees here?" and Maharaja answered "just to make
them weep." Nilacala didi was overhearing what Navina Krsna prabhu said, and she added "Yes,
Maharaja told me today, 'When I leave here, your whole family will go mad.'"
Here in Badger one morning Srila Gurudeva told us the following short story. There was one
man who was trying to climb a big hill, on top of which is Krsna-prema. Another man came to
help him climb the big hill. That second man represents Sri Gurudeva and he is telling the man
below, who needs help, "Come on I will help you with everything." The man says, "There are so
many thorns and they make my feet full of pain." The second man on the hill says, "No, just take
a few more steps; then everything will be alright, and I will help you." But the man below says,
"The thorns are too sharp for me. I can't continue." Because that man didn't have faith in
Gurudeva he went back to where he came from. In other words if we don't have faith that
Gurudeva will help us in all respects, and give us all power, and take away all obstacles, then we
will fall down to where we were before we became devotees.
I had a very interesting conversation with Gurudeva on the last day of our stay in England.
(Several devotees from England are also here now.) The husband of Caru Candrika didi,
Ramanantha prabhu, plans to distribute Maharaja's books on the streets of England. He made an
experiment one day and went out to the street and sold 30 "Pinnacle of Devotion." So there was a
controversy between Maharaja's disciples there in England as to whether Maharaja's books
should be given to karmis, or to people we think are karmis. Some devotees thought we should
make brand new books, with Maharaja's most simple lectures, just to introduce the people on the
streets to the most basic Krsna consciousness-you are not that body, etc. Ramanatha and I
thought that most of his books could be distributed on the streets, but a few very technical ones
would not be good to distribute. When Ramamanda and I asked Maharaja, however, he said that
all of his books should be distributed on the streets. I said, "Even Venu-gita?" He said, "Yes,
even Venu-gita, there is nothing lusty in there. I am simply translating the commentaries of the
previous acaryas like Sanatana Gosvami."
Then I related to him an incident that happened with Prabhupada in 1974. The BBT
(Bhaktivedanta Book Trust) was in the midst of producing the Caitanya-caritamrta, and I was
distributing one of the volumes on the streets-the first one that was printed. I told Maharaja that
some of the other BBT devotees objected. They said Caitanya-caritamrta should only be
distributed to the scholarly class of people. So I wrote to Prabhupada for confirmation, and he
wrote back, "No, all of my books should be distributed to all classes of men." So when Gurudeva
heard that he said, "Yes, I agree with him 100 %. I follow his mood 100 %. I want to be just like
him."
I told Gurudeva that even as early as 1970 we were distributing Prabhupada's Krsna books which
explained about mahabhava, madana, modana, in relation to Srimati Radhika and the bumblebee,
and that we were distributing this to all the meat-eaters and drunkards in America. Maharaja
said, "I want to see that Krsna book." His eyes became very enthusiastic. Then Ramanatha asked
him, "But what about the people who are eating meat." Maharaja said, "If they read my books
they will stop eating meat." He explained that only those with sufficient adhikari would read his
books. If someone doesn't have sufficient adhikari he won't purchase the book, or he will just put
it away in his house, in his almira. So we don't have to worry that a person without adhikari will
read the book and be confused. This was Prabhupada's mood also. He said that his books were
like time bombs that would explode at the right time, at the right place for the right persons. And

this was Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami's mood, as you have often heard Gurudeva say: "the crows
will not eat from the mango tree-only the cuckoos will eat."
The weather here is very beautiful. It is cool but comfortable in the mornings and evening, and
warm and sunny during the daytime. The devotees here have at least 300 acres of land, very hilly
and green and full of flowers. Everybody here is very happy. There is a tremendous amount of
preaching going on by those who have been with Maharaja for some period of time, to those who
are with him for less time, to those who are just meeting him.
One of the most amazing features about New Vraja was Gurudeva's 10:30 am classes on Srila
Prabhupada's Nectar of Instruction (Upadesamrta). In Mathura, when he speaks from the
vyasasana each evening, he reads from any large, heavy scripture, which he keeps wrapped in a
bright red and gold cloth. But here in America, we saw that every morning he would carry our
Srila Prabhupada's small, thin Nectar of Instruction (published by BBT) in that same large red
and gold cloth. He lectured daily, for two weeks, developing consecutively from verse 1 through
to 11.
During the classes, day after day on the order of Gurudeva, (holding the microphone of the 5lb
amplifier sound system, which we brought with us from Kesavaji Gaudiya Matha), I gradually
read portions of Srila Prabhupada's translations and purports. Gurudeva told me to start with the
first sloka vaco vegam... , and then he himself gave his commentary. Then told me to read
another paragraph, after which he commented again. Sometimes he would even stop me after
one or two sentences, and give his illuminating purports, and this went on day after day, sloka
after sloka purport after purport. He Always gave astounding revelations and realizations on each
sloka, and put a strong light on Srila Prabhupada's deep meanings. When he came to verse 5, he
repeated Srila Prabhupada's words several times that "One should not remain a kanisthaadhikari", and said that Upadesamrta is meant to ring the kanistha to madhyama, the madhyama
to uttama and the uttama to prema-bhakti. He reiterated that Srila Prabhupada is not saying to
only respect persons of his own society, but any vaisnava society, even from any sampradaya, or
from no sampradaya, or even uninitiated, if he is uttering Krsna's Names. He also elaborately
explained the relationship between harinama and diksa mantras. He said that harinama is like
rice, and the diksa-mantras are like the fire, pot and water to cook the rice. Both are essential.
Diksa-mantras help give our sambandha when we do harinama.
When we came to verse 8, he explained in much depth how this sloka is the sum and substance
of all scriptures and all advice, and for this reason he had me read that verse again and again, and
particularly the line "this is the esssence of all advice." As a bona fide representative of the
Gaudiya Sampradaya he was counteracting the ISKCON leaders misconceptions and false
propaganda. For instance, some people say that one would be sahajiya if he seriously tries to
come to the point of chanting Krsna's Holy Names, pastimes and qualities, 24 hours a day, under
the guidance of a rasika-bhakta. Gurudeva said that 'tadanuragi' means Krsna's associates in
Vraja, and 'jananugami' means those who are following them. So we must be under the guidance
of those jananugamis of the tadanuragis. In other words, we want to follow the Gosvamis,
headed by Rupa Gosvami and their followers, who also live in Vraja.
He spoke on text 8 for a few days. One morning was particularly incredible, because as he was
speaking about the Six Gosvamis, and how they were always searching in their minds for Sri Sri
Radha-Krsna, in the various holy places of Vrndavana. Finally Gurudeva could no longer contain
himself, and began to weep for some time. Practically the entire audience cried with him.
Texts 9, 10 and 11 were completed at the next place, Pleasant Hill, and they were about Srimati
Radharani, and Radha kunda. When I read Srila Prabhupada's words: "by following regulative

principles one may attain spontaneous love" from the purport of the next text, Gurudeva
immediately stopped me, and said, "'May' - do you hear that? This means it is not certain." In
other words, thousands and thousands of births spent performing vaidhi bhakti does not
guarantee the spontaneous devotion which leads to Vraja-bhakti. One has to have the association
of a rasika-bhakta, and hear Hari-katha from him. Maharaja also repeated Srila Prabhupada's
words a few times, that only one who is unintelligent will not take shelter of Sri Radha-kunda.
In Pleasant Hill, a 6 hour drive from Badger, Gurudeva threw his heart into the lectures, as he
continued to enter into the hearts of the devotees, speaking about Srimati Radharani, Sri Radhakunda, the difference between raganuga and rupanuga bhakti, and the difference between the
manjaris and nayakas. He spoke about how the followers of Rupa Manjari can serve on
occasions when the nayakas can't, and how they experience the mood and bodily symptoms of
Radharani and her relationship with Krsna, more than anyone. He was definitely introducing a
hint of raganuga and rupanuga bhakti to the devotees there, many of whom are old disciples of
Srila Prabhupada.
Throughout his Upadesamrta classes, we were amazed at his progress in speaking and
understanding the English language, and his English reading skill. Sometimes he would tell me
exactly which page to read from, and which paragraph, this showed that he was reading each
paragraph in English, and choosing the ones he wanted us to concentrate on. Sometimes he even
read a sentence or a paragraph aloud himself. He is quite a jagat guru.
Here is some news about the van ride from Badger to Pleasant Hill. Vrajanathaa, Nanda Gopala
(driving) Pundarika and Navin Krsna prabhus and Vrinda didi and I were all there. Turning to us,
he said: "I was in Badger for two weeks, and it seemed like a moment, like a dream." Hearing
this, I asked him, "What do you mean, it was a dream? You said the same thing on the last day of
your last visit to Australia as well." He replied, "When we go there, to Goloka Vrndavana, we
see that everything here is just an illusion. So we should be careful about having too much
affection for the other devotees, because it can turn into a material attachment." I asked, "Oh, the
affection which we all feel for each other is an illusion?" He answered, "If it is not an illusion,
then why do they marry each other? Does one atma marry another atma?" I next asked, "But
what if two men have affection for each other, like Pundarika and Nanda Gopala prabhus here?"
Maharaja's reply was, "But who is Nanda Gopala? He is not the body, but you are seeing him as
the body, so it is just an illusion. Unless you've established your affection for Krsna , you cannot
have real affection for another person."
About a half hour later into our journey, Vrajanatha started to read to Gurudeva his letters from
some devotees in Australia. Sometimes Maharaja would ask Vrajanatha, "Who was that? Which
devotee was that?" as if he did not know them. On the other hand, from the contents of the
letters, I could understand that the devotees who had written were experiencing Maharaja's
presence, his relating with them at every moment, and his developing and living in their hearts.
So after Vrajanatha finished reading aloud all the letters, I asked Gurudeva, "Since Krsna is
mugdhata and sarva-jna simultaneously, knowing nothing and knowing everything, can we also
understand Sri Guru to be like that?" When Gurudeva replied, "Yes, he is." I asked, "But why
would a guru pretend to forget his disciple's name and identity" Maharaja replied, "He's not
pretending. Just like Krsna; the mugdhata that Krsna experiences when Mother Yasoda comes to
hit Him with a stick is genuine -- He's really weeping, thinking himself Mother Yasoda's little
son. And, yet, inconceivably, He is simultaneously knowing everything, and creating universes.
This simultaneous mugdhata and sarva-jna is also true for Rupa and Rati Manjaris. They are so
sweet, simple and innocent, and yet they know everything of Radha and Krsna's heart. In
nisanta-lila, after Radha and Krsna separate to go their respective homes, and Krsna stealthily
goes to Gauri-kunda to see Candravali, they know about it." Then he said, "If Krsna was to be

only sarva-jna, then there would be no beauty and sweetness. But if, on the other extreme, He's
was only mugdhata, then this would make Him nothing more than an ordinary human being.
Both qualities must be there." Then I asked, "But what is so beautiful and sweet about a guru
forgetting his disciple?" "There is a beauty" he answered. I asked, "What is that beauty?" At first
he did not answer me, (I guess because he wanted to increase my desire to know), telling me: "I
have to do my japa now" (It was, after all, only 8:00 am.) But then, a minute later, he said, "The
spiritual master is relating to the disciple on the platform of the soul. He never forgets the soul;
rather he is always seeing it. He is always endeavoring to develop that atma,soul to its perfection.
However, he may forget the body, (just as he sometimes forgets his own body. This may be one
of the beauties."
Navadvipa prabhu also spoke to him about the translating and publishing of Jaiva-dharma.
Gurudeva said he would speak to Ramadasa prabhu, who published that large beautiful book on
Srila Bhatisiddhanta Saraswati Thakura Prabhupada, to design the cover and publish it. (Later he
did that, as well as asking Ramadasa to help with design and publication of the book he will
write on Param Gurudeva for his centennial vyasa puja day).
When we arrived in Pleasant
Hill, Gurudeva entered the apartment which Vaisnavananda (now "Radha Kanta prabhu") and
his wife Rati kala didi had arranged. (He organised three more apartments, which were just next
to Gurudeva's, for several other devotees on the tour). These apartments are so opulent, that there
were even wall phones in the fancy bathrooms. Radha Kanta asked "Gurudeva, is this place
comfortable enough for you?" Laughing, Maharaja replied, "I can see that you have not been on
Vraja-mandala parikrama with us before. There, we are sleeping on the ground, with no water,
and the bathrooms are in the sky."
Back in Badger, Maharaja was lecturing on the Bhagavatam up to the 9th canto, and then he
began the 10th for the last 2 or 3 days of his stay there. On the first day of the 10th canto, he
explained the 9 or 10 reasons why Krsna appeared. For example, He had to fulfill his promise to
Bali Maharaja's sister, to Drona and Dhara, and to Aditi and Kasyapa Muni. One the last day of
his Badger visit he talked about Damodara lila, and continued that description throughout his
stay in Pleasant Hill. During his classes there, he would sometimes, all of a sudden, sing a verse
from the Vrajabasa butter stealing songs, and then explain their meanings. Much of the time he
spoke Damodara lila from the 10th canto, 9th chapter. On the last evening, he told the story from
Gopal Campu, which previously made Param Gurudeva, Srila Bhaktiprajnana Kesava Gosvami
Maharaja weep, rolling on the ground for half an hour. I think you all know that part of the story.
(Gurudeva has been holding back, or shedding a few tears, in practically every lecture).
He told his audience that in order to understand the greatness of Sri Sri Radha Krsna, we have to
first understand the glory of Mother Yasoda. He compared the movements and sounds of her
churning rod to those of a mrdanga, and the movements of her bangles to be like karatals. Acting
out her churning motions very slowly, he sang in time with the movements of his strongly
moving arms: "Govinda Damodaramara veti.." He sang this several times throughout his many
Damodara lectures, with the result, that after each talk, when he would return to his room, the
devotees would follow singing after him: "Govinda Damodaramara veti." (Now, in Houston,
Texas, they still do that, and this is also going on in Costa Rica)
As we mentioned, Maharaja and the devotees watched dramas put on by the Badger devotees,
(which were performed in both Badger and Pleasant Hill.) Whenever the players did not stick to
the scriptures, Maharaja lovingly corrected them at the end, and told them what it should have
been. He wants the dramas, even when performed by the children, to be perfectly siddhantic.
(There is so much to tell, and so little time to tell it, so please excuse me for all that we've left
out.) Maharaja gave a lecture in New Braja which he said he wanted mass distributed, and its

title is "Krsna the Ocean of Rasa." Since then the lecture has been further edited and published as
a little booklet (1,500 copies printed) and the devotees from different cities and countries took
approximately two hundred each, to distribute in their own areas. Gurudeva was very pleased,
and, in Houston just yesterday in the car coming from the airport he told Visnu dasa (Tilak
Buddhiraja's son) that, "Even while I lecture, they are typing my words into the computer, and
overnight they turn it into an edited published book." (Now in Costa Rica it is already being
translated into Spanish)
On the last day of the Pleasant Hill visit, Maharaja sent the devotees out on nagar sankirtana in
San Francisco to a very populated tourist area, called Fishermans Wharf, which is just on the
shore of the Pacific Ocean, and a very sinful place. All the fish and lobsters which the
shopkeepers have caught are gathered there for all to see. As an entertainment feature, the yet
conscious lobsters are cooked alive in boiling water, and they scream like sirens while the
inquisitive crowd look on. The stench is worse than a Delhi sewer. The streets were packed maybe 10,000 tourists were there, watching the Harinama party dance through their midst.
That evening, Maharaja gave a farewell address to his now tearful devotee audience. He had
Madhavi didi, Kishori Mohan prabhu and the other devotees sing what he calls "the Australia
Hare Krsna tune" (he called it that because when he was in Australia, it was sung very
beautifully by one of our godsisters there, and it carries the mood of viraha bhava) I wish this email had a voice, so that you could hear it. Maharaja interrupted the kirtana about 5 times to tell
the devotees how they should be thinking while singing this kirtana. Speaking mostly on Gopi
Gita, he encouraged the devotees to meditate on how the gopis were feeling separation when
Krsna left the rasa dance. He told us that we should think of the gopis in that mood.
In this last paragraph, I just want to share with you a couple of exchanges that Gurudeva had
with some of the disciples of Srila Prabhupada. I had not seen these devotees since several years.
There was one godbrother who joined Srila Prabhupada in 1972, and distributed 100s of 1000s
of his books, either personally or by inspiring others to do so. He was temple president, and in
charge of overseeing the new devotees for many years. Then, when Srila Prabhupada left this
world in 1977, like most others, he began to feel dried up. Maharaja gave him a lot of mercy, and
he told me after the farewell lecture (I thought he was going to start floating in the air and he had
a smile from ear to ear), "I feel like I have new life. Before reading Maharaja's books, I would
have been happy to just commit suicide, but now, after reading, and finally meeting him, I at last
realize that I have a reason to live"
Another disciple named Sikhandini didi, who also joined around 1972, also met Maharaja for the
first time in Pleasant Hill. For three days after that, she saw him as much as possible, attending
all his classes and darsanas, and asking him questions. Her eyes always somewhat tearful, she
told me, "I can't believe what's happening to my heart." In one evening darsana she asked
Maharaja, "Devotees in the past have explained to me Sikhandini's identity from the
Mahabharata, but can you tell me whether my name also has any connection with Vraja?"
Maharaja replied that "Sikhandini is a peahen in Vraja, who offered a feather to Krsna, Who then
wore it on His head. And, even though the male peacock is so beautiful, still its origin is the
peahen." He then looked at me and smiled, as if saying, "Although Krsna is so beautiful and
powerful, and has unlimited qualities, the source of His beauty, power and qualities is Srimati
Radhika." (As confirmed in the first verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam).
When the darsana was over, Sikhandini and my other godsister Bhumi, in their sweet and
innocent exuberance asked Maharaja, who was now ready to go to his evening program in a
large hall, "Oh, can we drive you there in our car?" Nanda Gopala Prabhu, Maharaja's driver,
said: "No, he's coming with us - but you can come in the van." So, when we were all in the van

together, and driving off, Gurudeva turned to them and said, encouragingly, "Did you see the
difference between you ladies and the few male disciples of Srila Prabhupada, who had a big
position? They could not speak to me freely, nor I to them. There was a wall. There was really
no wall, but they created a false wall. But these ladies spoke freely with no wall, and I was able
to speak freely with them. That is why Narada and Uddhava and Sankara did not pray to become
men - they prayed to become like ladies -- like the gopis. The next day Sikhandini asked
Maharaja to chant on her beads, so she could improve her chanting. Maharaja smile and said
"But then I will take your heart." When she agreed, he added "But when I take a heart, I never
return it." This is a typical story. There were so many more like this one.
Maharaja spoke with other disciples of Srila Prabhupada's about the real meaning of initiation,
the fall of the jiva, and many other deep siddhantas. All Srila Prabhupada's disciples who were
present acted so humbly with Gurudeva, almost like little children.