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Katia Roberts

Eng 101/108
October 25, 2016

The Happiest Place On Earth?

The two genres that Ive selected for my paper are a newspaper article from the Orange
County Register by Keith Sharon and an article from the website thehuffingtonpost.com written
by Suzy Strutner, both involving the hauntings at Disneyland, different yet the same type of tone

Comment [1]: Kat, I like your opening


paragraph -- it was interesting, it moved/flowed,
and it laid out your topic.
However, the jump into paragraph #2 seemed
super-abrupt and disjointed. One second, I was
reading about hauntings and the next, I'm
hearing about genres -- what's the connection
there? Can you bring in more of a bridge to
these ideas?

and different ways of being read. The articles talk about the deaths of guest that have gone to
Disney and never left. These genres consists of logos, as they are trying to determine logical

Comment [2]: Are the 2 articles different at


all? Remember, this assignment called for you
to examine 2 different textual genres.

explanations for the surveillance and pictures of a ghost.Pathos is conveyed in these articles
when they get into a story of a little boy who died at the park and never returned home. Could

Comment [3]: I'm glad you're bringing in logos


and pathos -- those are two important rhetorical
techniques that writers use -- but I think you
might want to slow down here and explain this.
Could you devote a paragraph to each idea,
and then bring in textual evidence that SHOWS
where logos/pathos exist in the writing?
(Probably, don't you think?)

he be the mischievous little ghost terrorizing the employees at The Haunted Mansion? Another
way that these articles could be read is by visual readings of the pictures that are included. As i
analyze the two, I find i have more questions than answers.

Comment [4]: Nice! I love this last sentence


especially. :)

Orange County Register a newspaper in California interviewed a cast member from

Is there a course term you could use to capture


this idea?

Disneyland. She reports that the ghost, untie the ribbons in the cast members hair and move

Comment [5]: I think you might need to add


some punctuation to this sentence to guide your
reader along more carefully.

props from one side of the room to the other. The employees are terrified and will not go into
The Haunted Mansion due to the things that are happening in there. It has been speculated that
the ghost in the surveillance footage that i referred to in my opening paragraph, may be the

Comment [6]: Theres some wiggle room as


to whats right/wrong, re: comma rules, but I
think you might want to check out this resource:
http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/commas/.

ghost of Walt Disney. It clearly shows an apparition wandering around the park after hours; it
even shows it walking on water.
So lets look at the reports of hair pulling and props moving in The Haunted Mansion. Is

Comment [7]: Remember, Kat: this


assignment is asking you to analyze the
WRITING and the WRITERS' CHOICES within
these textual genres. I think you're getting a bit
off track here and focusing more on this topic
and not the pieces of writing themselves.

it truly ghosts untying ribbons in the cast members hair or is it simply their imaginations getting
the best of them? I believe that people choose to believe that there are ghost in The Haunted

What, in this paragraph, is supporting your main


argument? (Which needs to be about how
people WRITE ABOUT this topic in different
ways.)

Mansion because it adds to the excitement of the park; it is The Haunted Mansion, after all.

Katia Roberts
Eng 101/108
October 25, 2016

The Happiest Place On Earth?


Is it Walt Disney roaming the grounds of Disneyland or the effects of re-recording over
and over on a VHS tape? Do you want to believe that the creator of Disneyland continues to
patrol the park while enjoying the rides and attractions or would you prefer the more logical
explanation? I am inclined to believe that dear old Walt is hanging out at Disneyland and that
there are many mischievous little ghosts creating mayhem in The Haunted Mansion.
The idea of ghosts and demons lurking about is something that has fascinated people of

Comment [8]: OK, here you're getting back to


your main "angle" -- this seems like a recurring
thread that you're coming back to. Logic/logos
definitely has to do with how people *write
about* a topic, so I'd strongly suggest making
this the central part of your argument.
What you include in your paper needs to back
*THIS POINT* up.

all ages for centuries. It fascinates and terrifies at the same time. However, there are those
who consider it nonsense and must find a logical or scientific explanation for the sightings on

Comment [9]: OK, but where do you see this


in the writing?

surveillance. We all are free to believe or not believe. Clearly, the authors or writers of the

Comment [10]: I need textual evidence to be


convinced by your claims.

articles want to believe that ghosts really do exist. The audience could work to identify some
of the choices made by the author or writer of the articles so they can better understand as
noted in How to Read Like a Writer (Page 72).
Keith Sharon, the author of the article in the Orange County Register describes the
hauntings as disturbances. His tone through the article is humorous yet somewhat sad as, he
lists the death that have occurred at the park. The cast members relayed that there were things

Comment [11]: Tone is also something you


can analyze in the writing. I'm glad that you're
doing that, but right now, it's kinda coming up
out of the blue.

that physically happened to them and the props in the attraction. The disturbances terrified the

That's why laying the groundwork early on -i.e., the intro -- for what you'll be writing about is
so crucial.

employees so much that they chose to avoid the attraction whenever possible. The author also

Comment [12]: This may be a personal pet


peeve of mine, but Id like to advise you to steer
clear of things in academic writing (maybe
even all writing!). Its suuuuuuper vague.
Academic writing requires precision and
specificitybe direct and tell me exactly what
youre talking about. Pick the 1 word that really
captures the idea(s) that you want to get across.

reports that there is a light in the apartment over the Fire Station located on Main Street, which
belonged to Walt Disney. It is now a tradition for this light to remain on at all times. Prior to
establishing this tradition, an employee turned the light off and left the room. When she
returned, the light was on. The employee reported hearing a voice say I am still here. As you

Comment [13]: Is this tied to writing and/or


the writer's decisions? If so, how?

can see, these are disturbances that directly affected the employees and creating fear.

Katia Roberts
Eng 101/108
October 25, 2016

The Happiest Place On Earth?


Lets go back to the article from the Huffington Post. Again, this article has surveillance

Comment [14]: Why? Can you find an


organization/structure for your paragraphs that
flow to/from each other? (Where you don't have
to say "let's go back to X"?)

video revealing an apparition roaming the grounds. The ghost was obviously making his
rounds, as he visited The Haunted Mansion and Rivers of America. Unlike the other accounts,
this happy little ghost was content to walk without causing disturbances. The article even
describes him as grinning. Surely, he was having a good time that evening.

Comment [15]: OK, so these articles portray


ghosts/hauntings in different ways? One as
mysterious/frightening, and the other
fun/friendly?

Are there many ghosts haunting Disneyland or just one ghost? A convention of these
articles that make them similar is; theyre both about Disneyland possibly being haunted by Walt

Is this a convention?

Disney or one of the guest who died. A convention of these articles that makes them different is;
they both give different examples of things that are happening to the employees or guests. Both
articles convey a different perspective of the haunting(s), although one gives numerous
possibilities as to who could be haunting the park in the hauntings that i mentioned in my first
paragraph. The other gives evidence of what was seen by including pictures and videos.
Despite the differences in the articles, it is obvious that the authors/writers lean toward
believing in the existence of ghost. Lets face it, it draws you in. Yes we experience

Comment [16]: What does, and why? Be


specific.

nervousness, anxiety, and shutter at the thought of ghostly encounter, but still we continue to
watch television programs and read articles and stories about ghost.
I feel as if the audience could use opinionnaire to pay attention to the evidence that is
given in each article which was mentioned in Shellys Quick Guides for Writing Teachers:
Critical Reading Assignments. The readers could feel multiple ways about these readings,
some will be the ones that believe this is all very true and that the park is haunted not just by
one, but multiple guest that had tragic accidents that led them to never return to their families.
Then there are the readers that dont believe in ghost at all and just think that all the fuss around

Comment [17]: What do you mean here? I


like how you're trying to make a tie-in to the
Reid piece, but I don't know if this as effective
as it could be. What are you trying to get
across? And is there a specific reading strategy
that she suggests which readers of
ghosts/hauntings-related pieces
could/should/would use?

Katia Roberts
Eng 101/108
October 25, 2016

The Happiest Place On Earth?


the supposed ghost sightings is stupid. At the end of the day nobody really knows what to
believe about all this. All we know is that there were multiple deaths that occurred in the park
and they could possibly still be roaming around.
I mentioned two ways that these two genres could be read, one was visual literacy and
the other was from SQGFWT:CRA and these two work for the articles that ive chosen because

Comment [18]: When did you do this? I think


this was the 1st time you mentioned it. Also,
what's that 1 core question that readers -- when
they're thinking in terms of visual literacy -- ask
themselves?

of the fact that there are pictures involved and this is something that would raise a lot of
questions about. Example are the pictures and videos even real? Were they photoshopped?
Was it and interference with the tapes? Those were definitely questions that were on my mind
when I first saw the video and the images. They kind of freaked me out after awhile of looking at
them, because what if they are real? You can clearly see the legs of the figure moving and then
the figure disappearing once it walks a little bit onto the water.
These two textual genres were really hard to write about. When i picked the website and
the newspaper i thought there would be a lot about the supposed ghost and all though I was
right, there was a lot more about the deaths and who the ghost could possibly be.

I believe it is very important for everyone to learn about genre, because genre can help
with better understanding things or breaking things down to one specific thing. Everyone should
know that there is more to genre than just music and movies, I bet there there are a ton of
people out there that dont know that a letter of recommendation is a genre. Genre is a category
Comment [19]: What's this paragraph doing
here, Kat? Why are you including at the end
instead of, say, towards the beginning?

of artistic composition, as in music or literature, characterized by similarities in form, style, or


subject matter. Genre helped me understand understand that there is more to write about. I
understand that there is more to a topic than just the TOPIC. Theres lists and lists of things that

Katia Roberts
Eng 101/108
October 25, 2016

The Happiest Place On Earth?


i didnt even know were genres, not only that, but they help me make things more interesting
while Im writing because I can break the topic down into smaller segments. These two articles
can be read and interpreted in many different ways. I dont think people know just how they
could be read until they read Backpacks vs. Briefcases: Steps toward Rhetorical Analysis, it
could help them examine what theyre reading a lot better that way theyll understand better.

Comment [20]: Such as?

So is Disneyland the happiest place on earth or is it one of the most haunted places on
earth? With Walt Disneys possible ghost roaming around or the ghost of the tragically killed
guest, the world may never know.

Comment [21]: Kat: I want you to adhere to


the standard conventions of a "Works Cited"
page. If you're not familiar, a quick Google
search will give you examples of what they
should look like.

Work cited
1. Strutner, Suzy. "Disneyland Surveillance Catches Ghost Hanging Around After Hours...
Because Who Wouldn't?" The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, n.d. Web. 26 Oct.
2016.
2. Sharon, Keith. "10 Scary, Legendary Ghost Tales of Disneyland Haunts." The Orange
County Register. N.p., 19 Oct. 2015. Web. 26 Oct. 2016.

Katia Roberts
Eng 101/108
October 25, 2016

The Happiest Place On Earth?

ENG 101-108 Feedback Matrix for WP1

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Table of Textual Features and Qualities

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