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NEWWORLD,NEWRACE,OLDGAME!

FAMOUSSIMYINTEAMPROFILE:

THUMBSVILLEOPPOSITES

DidyoureallythoughttheNewWorldwasjusthometo
scalyskinnedLizardsandhardtoblockAmazons?
Well,thinkagainandreadallaboutitbelow

Teamcolours:GreenandOrange
Ower:QueenMagtheVI
HeadCoach:AlftoofBarkback
Players:Bonobos,Orangutans,
Chimpanzees,Gorillas,Silverback

Rising from the local (and rather small) BallBrawl Association BBA,
theThumbsvilleOppositesquicklyearnedareputationandaplaceof
their own in the New World majors. After more than twenty
consecutive wins of the BBA league, the new owner of the team
QueenMagtheIV,ruledthatitwastimetoaimforsomethingbigger,
and so the Canopy Kings Stadium was widened and enlarged, to
accommodate the bigger events to be sponsored by the Canopy
royalty. Despite the rough and troublesome start amongst the big
teams of the New World, the Opposites soon learned how the game
was played in the big leagues, and shown they too had a ace or two
hiddenuptheirfurrysleeves.Oneofthose,andprobablythefavorite
of the fans, was to pitch at the same time all three triplet silverback
brothers: Erwin, Ergin and Erlin the Kong brothers. They were so
much identical that as long as they were out of each others way,
everyonebelievedittobethesameone,overandover.

2428

2431

2435

Now

CanopyKingsStadiuminauguralgameturnsintoabig
fiasco:themandatoryandstrictprotocoloftheceremony
with the Royal Canopy Family and entourage, delays the
gameformorethantenhours,andeveryoneexceptfor
thehometeam,desertedtheplace.Still,thegamewent
onwiththeOppositesplayingagainstthelowestservants
of the Royal Family, and winning by 1730. To this day,
173isconsideredtheirgoodlucknumber.
New World Cup semifinals game against Opposites
archrivalsLizardLocomotive,goeshorriblywrong.After
the referee suspiciously missing yet another brutal foul
from Mr. Tyr (Locomotives krox), the pitch turns into a
openbattleground,whichquicklyspreadstothebenches
and crowd. Up to his silverback with it, Erwin Kong,
Thumbsville star player (later widely known as King),
chargedheadonMr.Tyr,inafightthatendedupwrecking
most of Skull Island Dome, and leaving Mr.Tyr off the
pitchesformanymonths.
Staff from the Newark Maulers human team, tries to
persuade Erwin to dress as an Ogre and play for them,
after allegedly having him signed a cooked up contract.
The Kong thought otherwise, and after completely
wrecking the place, made is way home but not before
politely inviting and taking with him Mam Arrow, the
lovely bloodweiser babe formerly working for the
Maulers.
Despite the notorious success of the team in plenty
New World leagues, to this day it still waits to see his
registrytobeacceptedbytheOldWorldRulesCommittee
(OWRC).

TeamHonours:NewWorldCupwinners2431(VI),2432(VII),
GoldSerpentChallengewinners2435,2436,2437(afterwhich
theLustrianCommitteechangedthetournamentrulesandonly
forkedtongueplayerswereallowedtoplayintheGSC).
HallofFame:ErwinKingKong(MostCasualties,Most
Deaths,andMostMembersDetachinNWCupIV,V,VIandVII).
Spike!MagazineRating:StillpendingOWRCondecision.

Fordecades,Bloodbowlwasbelievedtobeasportwithinreachofonlya
hand full of races Old World ones! But as time went by, travelers
arrivingfromdistantandunknownlands,broughtwordthatinthose

(*)MapofthewesterncoastofLustria,withsomeofthebiggestSimyin

settlementsandBloodbowlstadiums.

places,differentracesalsoplayedbloodfrenziedsports:somewithrules
sosimilartoBloodbowl,thatonlythekeeneyeofanexpertwouldtell
themapart.Inhislatestpublishedwork,HberwulfvonDarwinAltdorf
Collegeintrepidexplorer,describedanddrawnthemapofoneofthose
places(*).Inhiswords:Atfirsttheyvetakenmebyastupidbeast,and
caged me, feeding me fruits and cooked meat. I could not understand
theirlanguagebut,soonafterwewereabletocommunicatebydrawings
and some crude expressions. With them Ive travelled to many isles,
where theyve displayed me to others much like themselves furry and
mostly nudes. By then they must have already recognized my superior
intellect, as they always seem very pleased by my scientific reasoning
abouttheedgesoftheworld,orhowthesunandthestarsallgocircle
theearth.Withthosefruits,thefeverishcoldIhadforweeks,gotbetter,
butitdidntseemtobeworkingonthem.Hopetheyrebetterbynow.

DIDYOUKNOW
ThatoneofthefirstsimyinteamseverrecordedintheTIBBA(TurtleIslesBloodBowlAssociation)neverwonorlostinfactneverplayed
anygame?ThePhalaborwaPhilosophersteamwasformedwithsomeofthemostbrilliantmindsamongsttheacademicTurtleIsles
simyincommunity,andapparentlytheyfoundmuchmoredelightindiscussingallthetacticintricaciesandstrategiesofthesport,rather
thanthestressfulphysicaleffortofactuallyplayingit.Althoughtheirmatchrecordsheetwasaverybigblankpage,theywere
responsibleformanyofthemostinterestingandenlighteningtomesaboutthesimyinviewonthegame,suchasTheArtoftheProlate
Spheroid,TheNicomacheanTactics,orevenFoulingMetaphysics,justtonameafew.
Axtklinge@2015