Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Seven Days
Without You
Anmol Rana
Anmol Rana 3
ISBN 978-93-8xxx-xx-x
Book Editor: Cora Bhatia
Design Editor: Mishta Roy
Typeset in Book Antiqua
Printed at Repro India Ltd, Mumbai
Price India: Rs XX; Elsewhere: US $XX
To my wife
PRATIBHA
Main tera sarmaaya hoon.
Jo bhi main ban paaya hoon
Tumse hi...
Tumse hi
Tumse hi.
Anmol Rana 5
Anmol Rana 7
Acknowledgements
Om Namah Shivay Jai Bhole Bhavani My days begin and end
with this. Thank you God for giving me the life I have. Just keep
bestowing your blessings. Rest I will manage.
From its first draft to what it is now, this book has lived a life of
its own kind. This space is too small to mention all those who
have made this life beautiful and memorable. Those that are left,
please pardon me.
Samriti Gupta, my first reader who read the first finished draft
of this book. Despite your hectic schedule you were always
available to me. Thank you seems so small, but still, thank you.
Meenakshi Messy, for her valuable feedback that had helped
in making the characters in the book more real and natural.
Anupam Chattopadhyay, a friend then a colleague, for judging
the book on his own parameters.
My sincere thanks to all those who worked hard for making this
book viral over the internet even before its release. The list is
too long, but to name a few Ashish Ahuja, Ritesh Sachdeva,
Swagat M Shah, Sanjiv Gupta, Saurabh Dobhal, Rahul Thakur,
Himani Goyal, Mayank Solanki, Shweta Semwal...
There are people who dont need words to define themselves,
indeed their actions do it for them. I would like to thank Dr. A K
Gupta, outstanding scientist and Director IRDE, for his invisible
support. I am indebted to Dr. S. S. Negi, outstanding scientist
IRDE, for preaching to me the true meaning of humbleness and
humility. I am also grateful to Mr. B S Chauhan, senior scientist
IRDE and an example of a hard worker irrespective of age and
odds. My seniors, my colleagues and my friends out there, for
being with me when I needed them the most.
And lastly the people who made me what I am. They fed me
with love, care, inspiration and encouragement so that I could
turn my dream into a reality. Pratibha, my better half, who
taught me how a woman makes a man complete. She took care
Anmol Rana 9
Contents
1. Day 1
11
2. Day 2
60
3. Day 3
107
4. Day 4
159
5. Day 5
214
6. Day 6
267
7. Day 7
315
Anmol Rana 11
Day 1
2006, 29th November, Sunday
9:00 am
Dehradun
Disentangling from the cosy and snug folds of the quilt is no easy
task, if the morning is a winter morning in Dehradun. I lay packed
and frozen, until the sun sneaked through the uncovered parts of the
window and pulled my eyelashes apart. It was nine as usual. Since
the day I had stepped out of college with my post-graduate degree,
my mornings began at this time only. Just a day post-college at home
taught me that sleeping is the easiest and the most natural way to
hide from What are you doing after college? People know that you are
doing nothing, still they catch up with you to hear nothing from your
mouth and then dig you with consolations; again and again.
However, things never remain the same, says the rule of nature,
and I wasnt as unlucky to be an exception. My big switch clicked
on the day I received my job confirmation letter First job; Software
engineer; Delhi. The news spread like a jungle fire burning all
questions into ashes across the locality. In no time, the critics were
turned into supporters and the idle guy was transformed into the
ideal guy of the locality; all this in less than even one day. As ironical
as it may sound, yet change began at home, for papa had no problem
with my prolonged sleep thereafter. But not for very long.
The day with another change unpacked with this morning the day
when my wakeup hours once again became the sore point in the
eyes of my home.
Anmol Rana 13
10:30 am
Ring Ring
Anmol Rana 15
perfect bride, who had won million hearts through a daily soap
with the highest TRPs those days. Nobody noticed her when she
wore a bikini for a hair remover advertisement. Wearing a ten kg
sari turned the fortunes for her. I dont remember the name of the
serial, but in my home it was referred as Savitri wala natak. I wish
the world was like that Mother, father, brothers, sisters, uncles,
aunties, niece, nephew, sister-in-law, brother-in-law everyone
lived under one roof and Savitri was the adhesive that held them
together with her true Indian culture and values.
I remember, once the power went off in between this Savitri wala
natak and ma was fuming at the electricity department. I was left
in a state of shock when she asked me if I was capable of climbing
atop the electric pole and look for the fault. When I refused even my
teachers from school to college couldnt manage an escape.
What have those foolish people taught you? You call yourself
educatedHUHHH! Munnis husband is better than you. GO
And call him fast... she yelled out. Munni was our maid and her husband
was an electrician. Just then Shailja landed in.
What happened Aunty? she asked curiously.
This electricity! They always cut it at this time only. My serial ma
griped like a cry-baby.
But aunty, there is electricity in our house and our line is also the same.
Have you checked the fuse of your electricity meter? asked Shailja.
Ma turned to me. I was speechless. Shailja judged the situation well. Before
I did anything she brought the stool from the store room and hopped over
it, in front of the electricity meter.
Mmmm. Yes! she exclaimed. Your fuse has blown off. I mean this
main fuse, she said, her eyes squinting at me. Whats a fuse other than a
wire joining two ends, but since I was standing there the half minute job
transformed into a highly exhausting and time consuming project.
Vishu can I have a glass of water please. Im really thirsty, she said with
a heavy breath.
The mischievous expression on her face was screeching that she was well
aware of the havoc a drop of water could cause there, but no damage would
match the satisfaction of seeing me standing like a waiter with a glass of
water at her service.
Go Bring water, ma scowled at me. My heart groaned to mix rats
poison in the water, but who knew if the gaga girl asked me to drink it first.
A minute later, I was there with a glass of water. Ten minutes later I
requested ma if she could hold the glass and spare me to do something
useful for my life. She gawked at me to stand still and quiet. Shailja as
if waiting for that, plugged the fuse in the slot. In the other room the TV
started roaring. Shailja jumped off the stool and rushed to the TV room.
Ma followed her. I took the glass of water back into the kitchen.
That day was the beginning of a new era. Her movement into my house
became more frequent. Her closeness with my mother increased by
leaps and bounds, or maybe I had started to notice it then. From buying
vegetables to choosing mp3 CDs, ma took her advice in everything. She
would instigate ma to divulge all my stupidities, which she later used to
blackmail me in college. I was left choked with embarrassment when ma
divulged the saddest incident of my life to her, when on my way back from
school I couldnt hold and pooped in my pants. Although I was a kid at the
time of that accident, Shailja added a few years to my age and threatened
me that if I tried to ignore her in college, she would tell that to all my
friends, especially the girls in the group.
In her presence, my home looked like a battlefield to me, where ma was
the commander-in-chief, Shailja was treated like an officer of equal rank,
papa was like a loyal soldier and I was like the man from the other side of
the border. Things became bad to worse with the entry of our new LCD.
LCDs were not a common sight in middle class homes a few years back.
We purchased it just before the football world cup and I was extremely
enthralled that I would be watching my favourite players in action on the
wall mounted LCD. The dam of patience broke when I missed a match of
my favourite team, just because the timings clashed with a documentary
film Shailja wanted to watch on Discovery channel. The theme of the
documentary was how polar bears deal with their hunger in dry seasons.
Anmol Rana 17
She said she feels close to nature while watching Discovery in LCD, our
LCD. Her reason had convinced ma so there was nobody to challenge her.
For one and a half hour, she didnt loosen her grip on the remote.
Vishu you should learn from polar bears. Have you ever noticed how
badly you shout at aunty when you are hungry? she said shaking the
remote in front of my eyes. And then she showed me that upper jaw.
WIRED TEETH WITCH I yelled, inside. Ma was sitting right next
to her. My helpless ass was blazed with anger. It was then I decided to
revolt. And I got my chance the very next day.
Ma and papa had gone to the market and were not expected to return
before the evening. I was alone in the house. With Shailjas time of visit
clocking close I tightened my nerves to take on the task.
Come today and Ill show you how to watch Discovery in LCD.
Dingggggggg... The door bell rang. Her ruthlessness with our door bell
was just one of her several habits that burnt my blood. She would place her
finger on the switch and would not remove it until the door was opened
for her. I opened the door.
Aunty... Aunty she started shouting from the door. My arms
stretched across to the door frames, I blocked her way in. She entered under
my arms. Wheres Aunty? Whats she doing? Where is she?
Calm down. She is not here but I want to talk to you, I said. She went
quiet. Without wasting a breath, I came to the point. Shailja, I have been
noticing that
What ..? What are you noticing ...? she interrupted, her eyes scarily wide.
Look, its getting tough for me just because of you. Dont take it personally
but I need to say this that I
I? ... I what? her eyes grew wider.
Cant you listen quietly? I growled, but was annoyingly louder and the
loudness reached someone elses ears too.
What happened? ma asked entering into the room. Her sudden entry
Anmol Rana 19
took me by surprise.
Maaa! I groaned.
Sorry.
To her.
No ma! She is a liar.
I said say sorry to her, ma bullied me, her right fist clenched tightly. The
desperation in her voice was suggestive of a violent retaliation if I took one
more second to execute the dilemmatic option.
Sorry. Disgust bent my head down.
Back to 10:30 am
Come on, she is your childhood friend. At least today you shouldnt
be rude. You would rarely see her now, papa said to me.
I hope so.
After a few minutes the door bell gave a buzz. Its Shailja. Ill see,
said Papa.
Its not her. Have you forgotten how brutally she presses the switch?
Come in dear, papa said to Shailja. She came in. She had something
in her hand wrapped in a polythene bag. Whats this? he asked.
For aunty. Where is she? she asked, amazingly low in volume.
Im here, said ma from the kitchen. Shailja passed by ignoring
me completely. That was a historical moment of my life. What I
had strived for years happened on the day I wasnt expecting it
at all. I went into the kitchen to keep my plate. She was standing
next to ma, but didnt look like what she was actually known for.
Her terrifying talks were missing. She didnt even throw her deadly
smile at me. I wondered if she was all well.
Hi. How are you? I asked.
Fine she replied in a low voice. Going?
Ya I nodded. She gazed at me for a while, quiet and motionless.
Even her eyes that normally spoke more than her lips were dumb.
When will you come back? she asked me and again surprised me
with her tone showing traces of humbleness.
Not decided yet. Ill try to come at weekends or whenever ma
says, I said looking at ma. There was a momentary silence between
us.
Bye. Take care, she said and without looking at me moved out of
the kitchen.
Shailja, what happened daughter? Are you ok? papa asked her.
Even he was shocked to see the changed Shailja of that day. She
didnt stop. I came out of the kitchen with the cup of tea. She was
gone by then.
You said something to her? She looked upset, papa asked me.
Na
I think she is sad that you are going, said ma. Papa nodded in
agreement. I couldnt stop laughing.
Anmol Rana 21
She wasnt sad when I failed to score first division by three marks.
She was never sad in mocking me in my own home. She didnt
feel any sadness calling me a loola on my face, when I fractured my
hand. And today she is sad! Cant believe it.
What did she bring in that bag? papa asked ma.
Its for you, ma said to me.
For me!? I couldnt hold my surprise because she had never gifted
me anything, except on my birthdays. And the gift was singing the
happy birthday jingle at one minute past twelve in the morning; or
midnight as I remember them.
Lets see whats inside, I picked it up. Her quietness was itself a
huge gift, I chuckled.
She asked you to open it when you reach there, said ma and
snatched it away from my hands.
Come on! Just tell me whats that? She would have told you
definitely, I said, as I was more than eager to see the gift from the
Goddess of punishment.
She didnt tell me anything. Whats the hurry? Open it when you
reach Delhi, replied ma and buried it into my bag.
11:00 am
Ill just remind Raju, papa walked out of the room with his phone.
Delhi being only hundred and fifty miles from Dehradun was a
reason to cheer for all of us. The reason to worry was that I had
never been there before. Raju, my uncle and papas younger brother
was settled in Ghaziabad, a city bordering Delhi. The initial plan
was that papa would go with me, but his health had put the kibosh
on the whole idea. I would have only added an extra responsibility
if he had come with me. It was tough to convince them, but when
uncle said, ma and papa agreed.
Anmol Rana 23
Have you kept everything? asked ma. In fact, she was asking that
since the last two days.
Her anxiety about anything was a reason to worry because she was
a high blood pressure patient. Every other minute Have you kept
the water bottle? Tooth brush? What will you eat on the way? How
many underwears you have? ... Her newest worry was a group of
racketeers that looted travellers by giving them poisonous biscuits.
Just then papa came back.
You know, once I was coming from Delhi, a man came and sat
beside me
I wont eat anything from anybody. OK. I swear, I wound up
the topic before he started the story that I had heard a hundred
times before. Every time the theme, the characters and the objective
remains the same. The only change is the place he was travelling to.
Last time when he told this story, he was coming from Lucknow,
this time Delhi.
Shall we move now? Its already eleven thirty, I said and picked
my bags. Mas eyes turned wet again. Papa picked the scooter keys
and went out.
Take care of yourself and call as soon as you reach there, she said,
taking me into a passionate hug.
We came out of the house.
Just a sec Papa said in heavy breaths. He was struggling hard
to get the scooter started. I dont know how many times he tilted it
on its side to get the petrol drench every pore of the engine.
I dont know how many times I have told him to sell this scooter
and buy a new one, but who listens to me? ma rumbled bitterly.
Papa didnt dare raise his eyes. After a rapid fire of kicks the scooter
started with a cloud of grey smoke.
Come fast! Papa shouted; not because we were getting late, but
11:50 am
We reached the bus stop bang on time. Papa got the ticket for me
with a bottle of water. There was no seat number on the ticket. I
adjusted my bag under the seat next to the rear door and took the
window seat. My rucksack occupied the aisle one. After about five
minutes the window glass started rattling with the noise of the
engine.
Bye papa
Bye son, take care of yourself, his voice shook with emotions, as
he caressed my head with blessings.
Mothers have a tear bank to show their emotions, but there are
very few occasions that bring out the intense love a father carries in
his heart. That moment was one of them. I felt as if he transferred
his energies into me through his gentle touches. He stood there for
a while and then left.
I stretched myself to the two-thirds of the two-seater. The rest onethird was occupied by my rucksack. It was uncivil but from an
intelligent travellers point of view, the idea was to enjoy the journey
without someones sleeping head hanging over my shoulders. As the
bus moved towards the out gate, people started flocking in. My body
automatically shrunk to the one-half of the seat, but the rucksack lay
as it was. The crowd pushed each other like animals to get into the bus.
Whenever there was an entry I felt the thrust because of the strategic
location of my seat. I was waiting for the replacement of my rucksack
and at the same time praying for none.
Anmol Rana 25
Please, can you hold a seat for me? a jingling voice knocked my
ears. I turned my eyes outside the window. A young petite girl
failing to punch in from the rear door was walking alongside the
bus. Please could you? she begged, trying hard to keep with the
speed of the bus.
view. I didnt give up. Minimum seven hours. Isnt it? I knocked
her lull again, and again she only nodded in the same manner.
Suddenly, something struck her and she pulled out her bag beneath
her seat.
Really very hectic, she said, her hands groping something inside
her bag. I noticed her quietly. She dug a potato chips packet out of
her bag and then finally looked at me. Chips?
Thanks I picked one wafer. Onion flavour! I also like this
flavour, I said to get more friendly on the basis of the same taste.
Actually I like tomato flavour, but it wasnt there so I got this one.
Ok.
Have more
No thanks.
But you said you like this flavour.
Yeah But My stomach is full. I just had my lunch.
Ok.
You live in Delhi? I asked.
No, she said. Silence followed.
Then?
Dehradun, she said. Silence followed.
I am also from Dehradun, I said.
Although same place could have given a talk-base emphatically
bigger than the same taste, I muted my tongue for two reasons.
One My overzealousness had begun to strain my behaviour;
Two I couldnt let her think that I was trying too much.
Meanwhile, she took out her mobile and a pair of headphones
from her purse. It felt as if my favour in her eyes was only worth
one thanks and one potato wafer; both of which I had already
received. I turned my face away. As the time of silence stretched
Anmol Rana 27
Would be?
Anmol Rana 29
12:30 pm
Shame seemed to be his enemy. Every other minute I clashed my
sight with his, but failed to change his direction. I knew he was
just settling the score and I guess he knew that it was the best way.
Annoyed but helpless, I did everything to get my mind off him.
When my discomfort crossed the limits of my endurance I decided
to share my load.
Nishika I whispered into her ears. By then I had earned the
right to bring my lips close to her body.
Hmm She turned to me.
Youd feel embarrassed, but I think you should know that..., a
fellow is staring at you since you sat here.
That tall one, blue collars, pierced ear... she said looking straight
into my eyes.
start seeing things from her eyes. The preaching silence broke the
bridge of communication for a while and both of us got busy with
our own minds.
She is right. You cannot change all. Better change yourself.
The enlightenment sidelined every theory I had grown up with and
persuaded me to only focus on what I want. I gave a squint look at
her. The chips packet like an LOC between our thighs, she was busy
with her wafers. Then my knowledge filled eyes took a glimpse of
the guy. He passed a mischievous smile, as if he knew that she had
no problem with him. How could have a worldly smile affected an
enlightened mind! I ignored him one more time. This time it was
easier.
12:45 pm
The bus had entered into the most picturesque stretch of the
journey. At the boundary of Dehradun, around twenty miles of
snaky road made a splendid scenery of the dense forests across the
hills descending into plain fields. The unsullied moist breeze of the
jungle and the magnificent expanse of verdure, for a while I forgot
the scene beside me. Crafted by nature, the panoramic view of the
splotchy patterns formed by the sun rays filtering through the trees
didnt let my eyes wander anywhere else.
Can I take the window seat please? she intervened into my calm.
Ya Why not? Sure. We changed our seats. I thought she
was also an admirer of natural beauty. One more similarity simply
meant one more chance.
I love this stretch. Hills, jungles, greenery Really marvellous,
I said delightfully.
These hilly roads! I just hate this... she said wrinkling annoyance
across her face. Her stony look repulsed me into silence and with
the next blink my enlightenment was shattered into pieces like
Anmol Rana 31
broken glass.
BULLSHIT! Whatever I say, she just speaks the opposite.
Bruised with her anti-attitude, I changed my posture, view and mind.
The worst part of the story was that every time something happened
I dont know why my eyes were automatically launched towards the
guy. He was still smiling, but its meaning disgustedly changed now.
On the other hand, the girl actually responsible for the chaos inside
me sat amazingly calm and quiet, as if now I was also nobody to her.
Wondering if she was purposefully behaving like an antonym to me
I decided not to make a mock of myself anymore. I closed my eyes,
controlled my breathing and let my muscles loose. Slowly, the soporific
effects of the road began seizing my glum and exhausted inside. The
next few minutes of solace sprouted sleep under my eyelids. But before
it spread into my nerves
Aeee Madam! Someone cried out, behind us. The frightening
rumble opened my eyes. What I saw woke my senses.
Her butt raised to my chest, Nishika was hanging half outside the
window. A continuous gush, she was throwing up like a broken
sewer line. Within seconds, the bus was engulfed in the aroma of
rotten tomatoes. Passengers sitting behind us seemed to have been
splashed by a few drops of her vomit. I posed a look of sorry on
her behalf, but the back benchers gaped at me as if I was the one
responsible for the mishap. It was then I realized that unknowingly
I had become an eyesore due to my closeness with the madam. I
turned my attention to her.
Nishika take some water, I gave my water bottle to her. She
gargled and sat back. You ok? Drink some water. Youll feel
better, I compelled.
No... Please My head Its spinning! She pleaded. I thought
practically. Only water could have compensated for the loss of
water. She kept on saying no, but I emptied half of the bottle into
her mouth. She propped her head against the front seat and went
quiet. But just after a minute or so with a quick jerk she popped her
head out of the window. The back sitters were prepared this time.
There were no complaints, only wicked looks.
Nishika I picked my water bottle again.
I told you dont give me water. It happened because of you, she
groused, a shitty look burning over her face.
But I thought
Cant you think something good for yourself, she flicked her
head arrogantly and turned her face away from me.
That was the first moment, when I was struck with a feeling of dislike
for her. Her boorish behaviour poked my self-respect. The guy once
again grinning at me made it more miserable. I turned my conscience
numb to her presence and dropped myself into a state of coma.
No girl No guy NOBODY.
Lets follow her strategy only. Shes also nobody to you.
1:30 pm
Silence began formatting my memory. Slowly peace began flowing
in. I sat with a mind that whatever happens I wont open my eyes,
but then something intruded into my loneliness and forced me
to undo my decision. Grasped in sleep, Nishikas head propped
against my left shoulder.
The more I inclined away, the more she fell over me. Mind said
Jerk her off, stay away! Heart said She is exhausted, help her.
Swinging between the two, I held myself in an awkward angle, till
the call of mind was overridden by the voice of heart. I reverted back
to my original posture. My values, not my intentions, persuaded
me to help her in this way too. But soon, I realized that this time the
rewards of the help had started to reap in automatically with the
help itself. Her warm perfumed hypnotic breath sneaked into my
jacket and brushed my chest to a mystique sensation. With a slight
change in the angle of my neck, they fell in the reach of my nostrils.
Anmol Rana 33
With two favours making a strong case for me, now there seemed
more synonyms than the antonyms. Now I was using my effort
only in talking, not in making topics. She was doing it for me.
3:30 pm
After crossing tens of cuisines along the highway the driver
stopped at the Bhima da Dhaba. It sounded more like a health club
rather than a place to eat. A loudspeaker pegged over a tree at one
corner shrieked out a fifteen minutes refreshment break message.
We stepped out of the bus.
Where is the ladies toilet..? Nishika asked me. Most firsts of
my life found their origin on that day. This question was one of
them.
How would I know about the ladies toilet when I dont know
where the gents is! I said scrolling my eyes in all directions for a
toilet signboard.
Ok, Ill find myself, she said and we departed in our search for
toilets.
The place was surrounded with sugarcane fields. Instead of wasting
time in the search operation I stepped towards the fields. When I
returned Nishika was already there.
So what will you have? she asked me with the menu in her hands.
I sat quiet, as I could only see MENU of the menu. I am a pure
vegetarian but I dont mind eating with non-veg on the table, she
fixed something and turned the menu towards me. The hatred for
non vegetarians was quite evident in her eyes. I grasped what she
wanted to say, but lying for the sake of impressing a girl didnt
seem right to me.
I love non-veg, but I mind eating it with pure vegetarians. Order
by your choice, anything.
Sandwich and tea, ok with you? she asked. I nodded a yes. She
Anmol Rana 35
Yes.
SHIT !
Tell me more about yourself, she broke the gaze and changed
the topic.
What else? You know everything now? Vishwas... 24... Dehradun
Only son.
Only son?
Yeah... Only son.
OK... And?
And Software engineer in Delhi... After two days.
And?
And...
And single.
Your package, salary? she asked when I lulled for a while.
The questioned lulled me even more. I could have simply bluffed
out an impressive heavyweight amount, but again my heart
interrupted and said that only truth should be the catalyst between
us.
I have calculated, after all the deductions and tax Ill get around
thirty thousand in hand.
Thirty thousand starting is good! Her face blossomed out with
excitement. With that reaction I also felt great about myself. The
number raised my self-esteem bar by thirty times.
Anmol Rana 37
Bill... The waiter hung the bill into my line of sight to Nishika.
The white paper stood like a wall between me and her. I snatched
it from his hand.
Your turn now. I know only your name, I said to maintain the
rhythm.
What else you want to know? She took a sip from her cup and
Dont worry. Ill give you a chance to pay, I signalled her to hold