Writing Clearly: Sentence Structure and Avoiding Errors

10/8/2016
Chapter3.PuttingIdeasintoYourOwnWordsandParagraphs|WritingforSuccess1stCanadianEdition
BC OPEN TEXTBOOKS
Writing for Success 1st Canadian Edition

Tara Horkoff
MainBody
Home
Chapter 3. Putting Ideas into Your Own Words and Paragraphs
Table of
Contents
3.1Sentence Writing
Learning Objectives
Identifythecomponentsofabasicsentence
Identifythefourmostseriouswritingerrors
Beforeweworkmoreonpiecingideastogethertoformsummariesandparagraphs,weneedtolookatfundamentalsentence
construction.Imagineyouarereadingabookforschool.Youneedtofindimportantdetailsthatyoucanuseforan
assignment.However,whenyoubegintoread,younoticethatthebookhasverylittlepunctuation.Thesentencesfailtoform
completeparagraphsandinsteadformoneblockoftextwithoutclearorganization.Mostlikely,thisbookwouldfrustrateand
confuseyou.Withoutclearandconcisesentences,itisdifficulttofindtheinformationyouneed.
Forbothstudentsandprofessionals,clearcommunicationisimportant.Whetheryouaretypinganemailorwritingareport
oressay,itisyourresponsibilityasthewritertopresentyourthoughtsandideasclearlyandprecisely.Writingincomplete
sentencesisonewaytoensurethatyoucommunicatewell.Thissectioncovershowtorecognizeandwritebasicsentence
structuresandhowtoavoidsomecommonwritingerrors.
Components of a Sentence
Clearlywritten,completesentencesrequirekeyinformation:asubject,averbandacompleteidea.Asentenceneedstomake
senseonitsown.Sometimes,completesentencesarealsocalledindependentclauses.Aclauseisagroupofwordsthatmay
makeupasentence.Anindependentclauseisagroupofwordsthatmaystandaloneasacomplete,grammaticallycorrect
thought.Thefollowingsentencesshowindependentclauses.
Allcompletesentenceshaveatleastoneindependentclause.Youcanidentifyanindependentclausebyreadingitonitsown
andlookingforthesubjectandtheverb.
Subjects
https://opentextbc.ca/writingforsuccess/chapter/chapter3puttingideasintoyourownwordsandparagraphs/
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Whenyoureadasentence,youmayfirstlookforthesubjectorwhatthesentenceisabout.Thesubjectusuallyappearsat
thebeginningofasentenceasanounorapronoun.Anounisawordthatidentifiesaperson,place,thing,oridea.A
pronounisawordthatreplacesanoun.CommonpronounsareI,he,she,it,you,they,andwe.Inthefollowingsentences,
thesubjectisunderlinedonce.
Malik(underlined)istheprojectmanagerforthisproject.He(underlined)willgiveusourassignments.
Inthesesentences,thesubjectisaperson:Malik.ThepronounHereplacesandrefersbacktoMalik.
Inthefirstsentence,thesubjectisaplace:computerlab.Inthesecondsentence,thepronounItsubstitutesforcomputer
labasthesubject.
Inthefirstsentence,thesubjectisathing:project.Inthesecondsentence,thepronounItstandsinfortheproject.
Tip
Inthischapter,pleaserefertothefollowinggrammarkey:
Compound Subjects
Asentencemayhavemorethanoneperson,place,orthingasthesubject.Thesesubjectsarecalledcompoundsubjects.
Compoundsubjectsareusefulwhenyouwanttodiscussseveralsubjectsatonce.
Prepositional Phrases
Youwilloftenreadasentencethathasmorethanonenounorpronouninit.Youmayencounteragroupofwordsthat
includesaprepositionwithanounorapronoun.Prepositionsconnectanoun,pronoun,orverbtoanotherwordthat
describesormodifiesthatnoun,pronoun,orverb.Commonprepositionsincludein,on,under,near,by,with,andabout.A
groupofwordsthatbeginwithaprepositioniscalledaprepositionalphrase.Aprepositionalphrasebeginswitha
prepositionandmodifiesordescribesaword.Itcannotactasthesubjectofasentence.Thefollowingcircledphrasesare
examplesofprepositionalphrases.
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Self-Practice EXERCISE 3.1

Readthefollowingsentences.Underlinethesubjectsandcircletheprepositionalphrases.
Thegymisopenuntilnineoclocktonight.
Thestudentwiththemostextracreditwillwinahomeworkpass.
MayaandTiafoundanabandonedcatbythesideoftheroad.
Thedriverofthatpickuptruckskiddedontheice.
Anitawontheracewithtimetospare.
Thepeoplewhoworkforthatcompanyweresurprisedaboutthemerger.
Workinginhastemeansthatyouaremorelikelytomakemistakes.
Thesoundtrackhasover60songsinlanguagesfromaroundtheworld.
Hislatestinventiondoesnotwork,butithasinspiredtherestofus.
Verbs
Onceyoulocatethesubjectofasentence,youcanmoveontothenextpartofacompletesentence:theverb.Averbisoften
anactionwordthatshowswhatthesubjectisdoing.Averbcanalsolinkthesubjecttoadescribingword.Therearethree
typesofverbsthatyoucanuseinasentence:actionverbs,linkingverbs,orhelpingverbs.
Action Verbs
Averbthatconnectsthesubjecttoanactioniscalledanactionverb.Anactionverbanswersthequestionwhatisthesubject
doing?Inthefollowingsentences,thewordsunderlinedtwiceareactionverbs.
Linking Verbs
Averbcanoftenconnectthesubjectofthesentencetoadescribingword.Thistypeofverbiscalledalinkingverbbecause
itlinksthesubjecttoadescribingword.Inthefollowingsentences,thewordsunderlinedtwicearelinkingverbs.
Ifyouhavetroubletellingthedifferencebetweenactionverbsandlinkingverbs,remember:
Anactionverbshowsthatthesubjectisdoingsomething.
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Alinkingverbsimplyconnectsthesubjecttoanotherwordthatdescribesormodifiesthesubject.
Afewverbscanbeusedaseitheractionverbsorlinkingverbs.
Althoughbothsentencesusethesameverb,thetwosentenceshavecompletelydifferentmeanings.Inthefirstsentence,the
verbdescribestheboysaction.Inthesecondsentence,theverbdescribestheboysappearance.
Helping Verbs
Athirdtypeofverbyoumayuseasyouwriteisahelpingverb.Helpingverbsareverbsthatareusedwiththemainverbto
describeamoodortense.Helpingverbsareusuallyaformofbe,do,orhave.Thewordcanisalsousedasahelpingverb.
Tip
Wheneveryouwriteoreditsentences,keepthesubjectandverbinmind.Asyouwrite,askyourselfthesequestionstokeep
yourselfontrack:
Subject:Whoorwhatisthesentenceabout?
Verb:Whichwordshowsanactionorlinksthesubjecttoadescription?
Self-Practice EXERCISE 3.2
Underlinetheverb(s)ineachofthesentencesbelowtwice.Namethetypeofverb(s)usedinthesentenceinthe
spaceprovided(LV,HV,orV).
Thecatsoundsreadytocomebackinside.________
Wehavenoteatendinneryet.________
Ittookfourpeopletomovethebrokendowncar.________
Thebookwasfilledwithnotesfromclass.________
Wewalkedfromroomtoroom,inspectingfordamages.________
Haroldwasexpectingapackageinthemail.________
Theclothesstillfeltdampeventhoughtheyhadbeenthroughthedryertwice.________
Theteacherwhorunsthestudioisoftenpraisedforhisrestorationworkonoldmasterpieces.________
Sentence Structure (Including Fragments)
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Nowthatyouknowwhatmakesacompletesentenceasubjectandaverbyoucanuseotherpartsofspeechtobuildon
thisbasicstructure.Goodwritersuseavarietyofsentencestructurestomaketheirworkmoreinteresting.Thissectioncovers
differentsentencestructuresthatyoucanusetomakelonger,morecomplexsentences.
Sentence Patterns
Sixbasicsubjectverbpatternscanenhanceyourwriting.Asamplesentenceisprovidedforeachpattern.Asyoureadeach
sentence,takenoteofwhereeachpartofthesentencefalls.Noticethatsomesentencepatternsuseactionverbsandothers
uselinkingverbs.
Subject>Verb
Subject>LinkingVerb>Noun
Subject>LinkingVerb>Adjective
Subject>Verb>Adverb
Subject>Verb>DirectObject
Whenyouwriteasentencewithadirectobject(DO),makesurethattheDOreceivestheactionoftheverb.
Subject>Verb>IndirectObject>DirectObject
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Inthissentencestructure,anindirectobjectexplainstowhomortowhattheactionisbeingdone.Theindirectobjectisa
nounorpronoun,anditcomesbeforethedirectobjectinasentence.
Self-practice EXERCISE 3.3
Usewhatyouhavelearnedsofartobringvarietyinyourwriting.Usethefollowinglinesoryourownsheetof
papertowritesixsentencesthatpractiseeachbasicsentencepattern.Whenyouhavefinished,labeleachpart
ofthesentence(S,V,LV,N,Adj,Adv,DO,IO).
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Collaboration:Findanarticleinanewspaper,amagazine,oronlinethatinterestsyou.Then,identifyone
exampleofeachpartofasentence(S,V,LV,N,Adj,Adv,DO,IO).
Fragments
Thesentencesyouhaveencounteredsofarhavebeenindependentclauses.Asyoulookmorecloselyatyourpastwriting
assignments,youmaynoticethatsomeofyoursentencesarenotcomplete.Asentencethatismissingasubjectoraverbis
calledafragment.Afragmentmayincludeadescriptionormayexpresspartofanidea,butitdoesnotexpressacomplete
thought.
Fragment:Childrenhelpinginthekitchen.
Completesentence:Childrenhelpinginthekitchenoftenmakeamess.
Youcaneasilyfixafragmentbyaddingthemissingsubjectorverb.Intheexample,thesentencewasmissingaverb.
AddingoftenmakeamesscreatesanSVNsentencestructure.Figure3.1illustrateshowyoucaneditafragmenttobecome
acompletesentence.
Figure3.1EditingFragmentsThatAreMissingaSubjectoraVerb
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Seewhetheryoucanidentifywhatismissinginthefollowingfragments.
Fragment:Toldheraboutthebrokenvase.
Completesentence:Itoldheraboutthebrokenvase.
Completesentence:ThestoredownonMainStreetsellsmusic.
Common Sentence Errors

Fragmentsoftenoccurbecauseofsomecommonerrors,suchasstartingasentencewithapreposition,adependentword,
aninfinitive,oragerund.Ifyouusethesixbasicsentencepatternswhenyouwrite,youshouldbeabletoavoidtheseerrors
andthusavoidwritingfragments.
Whenyouseeapreposition,checktoseethatitispartofasentencecontainingasubjectandaverb.Ifitisnotconnectedtoa
completesentence,itisafragment,andyouwillneedtofixthistypeoffragmentbycombiningitwithanothersentence.You
canaddtheprepositionalphrasetotheendofthesentence.Ifyouaddittothebeginningoftheothersentence,inserta
commaaftertheprepositionalphrase.Lookattheexamples.Figure3.2illustrateshowyoucaneditafragmentthatbegins
withapreposition.
ExampleA:
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ExampleB:
Figure3.2EditingFragmentsThatBeginwithaPreposition
Clausesthatstartwithadependentwordsuchassince,because,without,orunlessaresimilartoprepositionalphrases.
Likeprepositionalphrases,theseclausescanbefragmentsiftheyarenotconnectedtoanindependentclausecontaininga
subjectandaverb.Tofixtheproblem,youcanaddsuchafragmenttothebeginningorendofasentence.Ifthefragmentis
addedatthebeginningofasentence,addacommaafteritbeforetheindependentclause.
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Whenyouencounterawordendingininginasentence,identifywhetheritisbeingusedasaverbinthesentence.Youmay
alsolookforahelpingverb.Ifthewordisnotusedasaverborifnohelpingverbisusedwiththeingverbform,theverbis
beingusedasanoun.Aningverbformusedasanouniscalledagerund.
Onceyouknowwhethertheingwordisactingasanounoraverb,lookattherestofthesentence.Doestheentiresentence
makesenseonitsown?Ifnot,whatyouarelookingatisafragment.Youwillneedtoeitheraddthepartsofspeechthatare
missingorcombinethefragmentwithanearbysentence.Figure3.3illustrateshowtoeditfragmentsthatbeginwitha
gerund.
Figure3.3EditingFragmentsThatBeginwithGerunds
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Incorrect:Takingdeepbreaths.Saulpreparedforhispresentation.
Correct:Takingdeepbreaths,Saulpreparedforhispresentation.
Correct:Saulpreparedforhispresentation.Hewastakingdeepbreaths.
Incorrect:Congratulatingtheentireteam.Sarahraisedherglasstotoasttheirsuccess.
Correct:Shewascongratulatingtheentireteam.Sarahraisedherglasstotoasttheirsuccess.
Correct:Congratulatingtheentireteam,Sarahraisedherglasstotoasttheirsuccess.
Anothererrorinsentenceconstructionisafragmentthatbeginswithaninfinitive.Aninfinitiveisaverbpairedwiththe
wordtoforexample,torun,towrite,ortoreach.Althoughinfinitivesareverbs,theycanbeusedasnouns,adjectives,or
adverbs.Youcancorrectafragmentthatbeginswithaninfinitivebyeithercombiningitwithanothersentenceoraddingthe
partsofspeechthataremissing.
Incorrect:Weneededtomake300morepapercranes.Toreachtheonethousandmark.
Correct:Weneededtomake300morepapercranestoreachtheonethousandmark.
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Correct:Weneededtomake300morepapercranes.Wewantedtoreachtheonethousandmark.
Self-practice EXERCISE 3.4
Copythefollowingsentencesontoyourownsheetofpaperandcirclethefragments.Thencombinethe
fragmentwiththeindependentclausetocreateacompletesentence.
Workingwithouttakingabreak.Wetrytogetasmuchworkdoneaswecaninanhour.
Ineededtobringworkhome.Inordertomeetthedeadline.
Unlessthegroundthawsbeforespringbreak.Wewontbeplantinganytulipsthisyear.
Youllfindwhatyouneedifyoulook.Ontheshelfnexttothepottedplant.
Tofindtheperfectapartment.Deidrescouredtheclassifiedseachday.
3.2Summarizing
Learning Objectives
Explainandapplythecriteriaformakingasummary
Identifyandavoidthechallengesofcreatingsummaries
InChapter2:WorkingwithWords,youpractisedidentifyingmainandsupportingideas,whichisnecessaryforyour
understandingandforcreatingasummaryoftheinformationyouhavereadonceyouhaveidentifiedwhatyouthinkthe
importantideasare,youcantransferthatinformationintoanewparagraph,puttingtheoriginalsourcesideasintoyourown
wordsorwhatiscalledparaphrasing.
Inthissectionandinotherplacesthroughoutthisbook,youwillmeetJorge,whohasbeenassignedapaperonlow
carbohydratepapers.YouwillfollowJorgeonthestepstocreatinghispaper,startingwithhissummary.
WhatIsaSummary?
Whenyousummarize,youarefilteringandcondensingthemostnecessarypointsfromasource,likeabook,article,or
website.
Whensummarizingmaterialfromasource,youzeroinonthemainpointsandrestatethemconciselyinyourownwords.
Thistechniqueisappropriatewhenonlythemajorideasarerelevanttoyourpaperorwhenyouneedtosimplifycomplex
informationintoafewkeypointsforyourreaders.Tocreateasummary,considerthefollowingpoints:
Reviewthesourcematerialasyousummarizeit.
Identifythemainideaandrestateitasconciselyasyoucanpreferablyinonesentence.Dependingonyourpurpose,you
mayalsoaddanothersentenceortwocondensinganyimportantdetailsorexamples.
Checkyoursummarytomakesureitisaccurateandcomplete.
Makeacarefulrecordofwhereyoufoundtheinformationbecauseyouwillneedtoincludethereferenceandcitationifyou
choosetousetheinformationinanessay.Itismucheasiertodothiswhenyouarecreatingthesummaryandtakingnotes
thanhavingtogobackandhuntfortheinformationlater.Guessingwhereyouthinkyougotitfromisnotgoodenough.
SummariesandAbstracts
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Whenyoureadmanyjournalarticles,youwillnoticethereisanabstractbeforethearticlestarts:thisisasummaryofthe
articlescontents.Becarefulwhenyouaresummarizinganarticletonotdependtoomuchontheabstractasitisalreadya
condensedversionofthecontent.Theauthoroftheabstractidentifiedthemainpointsfromhisorherperceptionthesemay
notmatchyourownpurposeoryourownideaofwhatisimportant.Whatmayalsohappenifyoutrytosummarizethe
abstractisyouwillprobablyendupreplacingsomewordswithsynonymsandnotchangingtheoverallideasintoyourown
wordsbecausetheideasarealreadysummarized,anditisdifficulttomakethemmoregeneralized(wewilldiscussthismore
inSection3.3:Paraphrasing).Youhavetoreadtheentiresourceorsectionofthesourceanddetermineforyourselfwhat
thekeyandsupportingideasare.
Tip
Asummaryorabstractofareadingpassageisonetenthtoonequarterthelengthoftheoriginalpassage,writteninyourown
words.Thecriteriaforasummaryarethatit:
Includesonlythemainpointsandkeydetails
Isvaluablebecauseitisthesurestwaytomeasureyourunderstanding
Helpsyourememberbecauseyoumustattendcarefullytowhatyouread,organizeyourthoughts,andwritethemouttomake
itmeaningfultoyou(Thisisabsolutelynecessarywhenyoucannotmarkabookbecauseitbelongstosomeoneelse.)
Challengesyoutobeconciseinyourwritingwhileprovidingbalancedcoverageofthemainpoints.
Challengesyoutoparaphraseoruseyourownwordsandavoidusingtoomanyquotations.
Isimportanttoremainobjectivebecauseyouaregivingtheauthorsviewsnotyourown.
Inhisdraft,Jorgesummarizedresearchmaterialsthatpresentedscientistsfindingsaboutlowcarbohydratediets.Readthe
followingpassagefromatrademagazinearticleandJorgessummaryofthearticle.
Article:AssessingtheEfficacyofLowCarbohydrateDiets
AdrienneHowell,Ph.D.(2010)
Overthepastfewyears,anumberofclinicalstudieshaveexploredwhetherhighprotein,lowcarbohydratedietsaremore
effectiveforweightlossthanotherfrequentlyrecommendeddietplans,suchasdietsthatdrasticallycurtailfatintake
(Pritikin)orthatemphasizeconsumingleanmeats,grains,vegetables,andamoderateamountofunsaturatedfats(the
Mediterraneandiet).A2009studyfoundthatobeseteenagerswhofollowedalowcarbohydratedietlostanaverageof15.6
kilogramsoverasixmonthperiod,whereasteenagersfollowingalowfatdietoraMediterraneandietlostanaverageof11.1
kilogramsand9.3kilogramsrespectively.Two2010studiesthatmeasuredweightlossforobeseadultsfollowingthesesame
threedietplansfoundsimilarresults.Overthreemonths,subjectsonthelowcarbohydratedietplanlostanywherefromfour
tosixkilogramsmorethansubjectswhofollowedotherdietplans.
Summary
Inthreerecentstudies,researcherscomparedoutcomesforobesesubjectswhofollowedeitheralowcarbohydratediet,a
lowfatdiet,oraMediterraneandietandfoundthatsubjectsfollowingalowcarbohydratedietlostmoreweightinthesame
time(Howell,2010).
Tip
Asummaryrestatesideasinyourownwords,butforspecializedorclinicalterms,youmayneedtousetermsthatappearin
theoriginalsource.Forinstance,Jorgeusedthetermobeseinhissummarybecauserelatedwordssuch
asheavyoroverweighthaveadifferentclinicalmeaning.
SummaryParagraphs
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Asummaryshrinksalargeamountofinformationintoonlytheessentials.Youprobablysummarizeevents,books,and
moviesdaily.Thinkaboutthelastmovieyousaworthelastnovelyouread.Chancesare,atsomepointinacasual
conversationwithafriend,coworker,orclassmate,youcompressedalltheactionofatwohourfilmora200pagebookinto
abriefdescriptionofthemajorplotmovements.Youprobablydescribedthemainpointsinjustafewsentences,usingyour
ownvocabularyandmannerofspeaking.
Similarly,asummaryparagraphcondensesalongpieceofwritingintoasmallerparagraphbyextractingonlythevital
information.Asummaryusesonlythewritersownwords.Likethesummaryspurposeindailyconversation,thepurposeof
anacademicsummaryparagraphistomaintainalltheessentialinformationfromalongerdocument.Althoughshorterthan
theoriginalpieceofwriting,asummaryshouldstillcommunicateallthekeypointsandkeysupport.Inotherwords,
summaryparagraphsshouldbesuccinctandtothepoint.
Thefollowingisanotherexampleofareportontheuseofalcoholbyadolescentswithanexampleofastudentsummaryof
thatinformation.
Asummaryofthereportshouldpresentallthemainpointsandsupportingdetailsinbrief.Readthefollowingsummaryof
thereportwrittenbyastudent:
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Noticehowthesummaryretainsthekeypointsmadebythewritersoftheoriginalreportbutomitsmostofthestatistical
data.Summariesdonotneedtocontainallthespecificfactsandfiguresintheoriginaldocumenttheyprovideonlyan
overviewoftheessentialinformation.
Tip
Towriteasummary:
Surveythepassage,anticipatingmainpointsandcheckingthem.
Readcarefully,locatingallcontrollingideas,identifyingkeydetails,anddecidingwhicharenecessarytorememberand
whicharenot.
Writeaparagraphinwholesentencesthatrelate/explainonlythecontrollingideasandsupportingdetailsbeeconomicaland
usenomorewordsthannecessary.
DifferentiatebetweenyourideasandtheoriginalauthorsbyusingphrasessuchasAccordingtoMarshall(2014),.or
Marshall(2014)arguesthat.
Self-practice Exercise 3.5
Readthefollowingpassageanduseanotetakingmethodtoidentifythemainpoints.
Composeasentencesummarizingtheparagraphsmainpoints.
Severalfactorsabouttheenvironmentinfluenceourbehaviour.First,temperaturecaninfluenceusgreatly.Weseem
tofeelbestwhenthetemperatureisinthehighteenstolow20s.Ifitistoohotorcold,wehavetrouble
concentrating.Lightingalsoinfluenceshowwefunction.Adarklecturehallmayinterferewiththelecture,ora
brightnightclubmightspoilromanticconversation.Finally,ourbehaviourisaffectedbycolour.Somecoloursmake
usfeelapeacefulwhileothersareexciting.Ifyouwantedaquietroominwhichtostudy,forexample,youwouldnot
paintitbrightorangeorred.
Collaboration:Pleasesharewithaclassmateandcompareyouranswers.
Herearepossibleanswers:
Keypoints:
Environmentalfactorsinfluencebehaviour:
Temperature:extremesmakefocusdifficult
Lighting:inappropriatelightingisdisorientating
Colour:colouraffectsrelaxation
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Summarysentence:
Threeenvironmentalinfluencesthatimpacthumanbehaviourincludetemperature,asextremefluctuationsmakeit
difficulttofocuslighting,whichcanaffectourabilitytoengagewithdifferentenvironmentsandcolour,which
affectsourmood.
Passagetakenfrom:Ueland,B.(2006).BecomingaMasterStudent.Boston,MA:HoughtonMifflinCollegeDiv.,p.
121.
Self-practice Exercise 3.6

Readthepassage.
Highlightorunderlinenecessaryinformation(hint:therearefiveimportantideas).
Writeyoursummary.
MostpeopledrinkorangejuiceandeatorangesbecausetheyaresaidtoberichinvitaminC.Therearealsoother
foodsthatarerichinvitaminC.Itisfoundincitrusfruitsandvegetablessuchasbroccoli,spinach,cabbage,
cauliflower,andcarrots.
VitaminCisimportanttoourhealth.Doyoureallyknowhowessentialthisnutrientistoourhealthandwellbeing?
Ourbodyneedstohealitself.VitaminCcanrepairandpreventdamagetothecellsinourbodyandhealwounds.It
alsokeepsourteethandgumshealthy.Thatisnotall.Itprotectsourbodyfrominfectionssuchascoldsandfluand
alsohelpsustogetbetterfasterwhenwehavetheseinfections.Thatiswhyalotofpeopledrinkorangejuiceand
takevitaminCtabletseveryday.Thiswonderfulvitaminisalsogoodforourheart.Itprotectstheliningsofthe
arteries,whicharethebloodvesselsthatcarryoxygenatedblood.Inotherwords,itoffersprotectionagainstheart
disease.
IfwedonotgetenoughvitaminC,whichmeanswearenoteatingenoughfoodthatcontainsthisvitamin,itcanlead
toseriousdiseases.LackofvitaminCcanleadtoscurvy,whichcausesswollengums,cheeks,fingers,hands,toes,
andfeet.Inseriousconditions,itcanleadtobleedingfromwounds,lossofteeth,andopeningupofwounds.
Therefore,makesureyouhaveenoughvitaminCinyourdiet.
Exercisetakenfrom:http://www.scribd.com/doc/98238709/FormThreeSummaryWritingExercise
3.3Paraphrasing
Learning Objectives
Identifyhowsummarizingandparaphrasingworktogether
Applyparaphrasingtechniquesofchangingwordsandsentencestructures
Whenyouquoteasource,youaretakingthewordsdirectlyfromthepassage:thesearetheoriginalauthorswords.Quotes
canbeuseful(seeChapter9:CitationsandReferencing),butinordertoshowyouunderstandwhatyouhaveread,you
shouldparaphrase.Paraphrasingisputtinginformationintoyourwordsitisanimportantskilltodevelopbecausewhen
youdoit,youarenotonlyshowingyouunderstandwhatyouhaveread,butyouarealsoprocessingandadaptingthat
informationtoyourwritingpurpose.
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Whenyouparaphrase,youareusingthetechniqueofputtingacondensedversionofsomeoneelsesideas(summary)into
yourownwords.
Itisveryimportanttorememberwhenyouareparaphrasingisyoustillneedtoincludecitationsbecausealthoughthewords
areyours,theideasbelongtotheoriginalauthors,andyoumustgivethatpersoncreditfortheideas(again,wewilllookat
thismoreinChapter9:CitationsandReferencing).
Tip
Ifyoupreferrewriting,trynottocopybutuseyourownparaphrasingofthematerial.Ifaconceptisdifficult,putitinyour
owntermswithaconcreteexamplesoyouunderstandit.Trytoputitinthevocabularyofthecourse.
Paraphrasing Sources
Whenyouparaphrasematerialfromasource,restatetheinformationfromanentiresentenceorpassageinyourownwords,
usingyourownoriginalsentencestructure.Aparaphrasedsourcediffersfromasummarizedsourceinthatyoufocuson
restatingtheideas,notcondensingthem.Again,itisimportanttocheckyourparaphraseagainstthesourcematerialtomake
sureitisbothaccurateandoriginal.Inexperiencedwriterssometimesusethethesaurusmethodofparaphrasingthatis,they
simplyrewritethesourcematerial,replacingmostofthewordswithsynonyms.Thisconstitutesamisuseofsources.Atrue
paraphraserestatesideasusingthewriters(your)ownlanguageandstyle.
Inhisdraft,Jorgefrequentlyparaphraseddetailsfromsources.Attimes,heneededtorewriteasentencemorethanonceto
ensurehewasparaphrasingideascorrectly.Belowisapassagewithexamplesofhowheparaphrasedandadaptedthe
informationtocreatehisownparagraph.Readthepassagefromawebsite.ThenreadJorgesinitialattemptatparaphrasing
it,followedbythefinalversionofhisparaphrase.
Source
AccordingtoHeinz(2009),dietersnearlyalwaysgetgreatresultssoonaftertheybeginfollowingalowcarbohydratediet,
buttheseresultstendtotaperoffafterthefirstfewmonths,particularlybecausemanydietersfinditdifficulttofollowalow
carbohydratedietplanconsistently.
Jorges Original Summary
Peopleusuallyseeencouragingoutcomesshortlyaftertheygoonalowcarbohydratediet,buttheirprogressslowsdown
afterashortwhile,especiallybecausemostdiscoverthatitisachallengetoadheretothedietstrictly(Heinz,2009).
Afterreviewingtheparaphrasedsentence,Jorgerealizedhewasfollowingtheoriginalsourcetooclosely.Hedidnotwantto
quotethefullpassageverbatim,soheagainattemptedtorestatetheideainhisownstyle.
Jorges Revised Summary
Becauseitishardfordieterstosticktoalowcarbohydrateeatingplan,theinitialsuccessofthesedietsisshortlived(Heinz,
2009).
Self-Practice Exercise 3.7
Onasheetofpaper,paraphraseeachofthefollowingpassages.
Thetwentiesweretheyearswhendrinkingwasagainstthelaw,andthelawwasabadjokebecauseeveryoneknew
ofalocalbarwhereliquorcouldbehad.Theyweretheyearswhenorganizedcrimeruledthecities,andthepolice
seemedpowerlesstodoanythingagainstit.Classicalmusicwasforgottenwhilejazzspreadthroughouttheland,and
menlikeBixBeiderbecke,LouisArmstrong,andCountBasiebecametheheroesoftheyoung.Theflapperwasborn
inthetwenties,andwithherbobbedhairandshortskirts,shesymbolized,perhapsmorethananyoneoranything
else,Americasbreakwiththepast.FromKathleenYancey,English102SupplementalGuide(1989):25.
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WhiletheSearsTowerisarguablythegreatestachievementinskyscraperengineeringsofar,itsunlikelythat
architectsandengineershaveabandonedthequestfortheworldstallestbuilding.Thequestionis:Justhowhighcan
abuildinggo?StructuralengineerWilliamLeMessurierhasdesignedaskyscrapernearlyonehalfmilehigh,twiceas
tallastheSearsTower.AndarchitectRobertSobelclaimsthatexistingtechnologycouldproducea500story
building.FromRonBachman,ReachingfortheSky.Dial(May1990):15.
Herearepossibleanswers:
Duringthetwenties,lawlessnessandsocialnonconformityprevailed.Incities,organizedcrimeflourishedwithout
policeinterference,and,inspiteofnationwideprohibitionofliquorsales,anyonewhowishedtobuyadrinkknew
wheretogetone.MusicianslikeLouisArmstrongbecomefavourites,particularlyamongyoungpeople,asmany
turnedawayfromhighlyrespectableclassicalmusictojazz.Oneofthebestexamplesoftheantitraditionaltrend
wastheproliferationofyoungflappers,womenwhorebelledagainstcustombycuttingofftheirhairand
shorteningtheirskirts(Yancey,1989,p.25).
TheSearsTowerisaworldmarvel,anditisunknownhowmuchhigherskyscrapersofthefuturewillrise.However,
thedesignofonetwiceastallastheSearsTowerisalreadyontheboards,andanarchitect,RobertSobel,thinkswe
currentlyhavesufficientknowhowtobuildaskyscraperwithover500storeys(Bachman,1990,p.15).
Exercisetakenfrom:https://owl.english.purdue.edu/exercises/28/12/33/

Onasheetofpaper,followthesestepstopractiseparaphrasing.
Chooseanimportantideaordetailfromyournotes.
Withoutlookingattheoriginalsource,restatetheideainyourownwords.
Checkyourparaphraseagainsttheoriginaltextinthesource.Makesurebothyourlanguageandyoursentence
structureareoriginal.
Reviseyourparaphraseifnecessary.
Assignment 2: summary practice (5%)

Readthefollowingarticleandcomposeasummaryof100to150words.Determinewhatthekeypointsareandparaphrase
accordingly.Makesureallthepointsyouchooseareimportanttotheunderstandingandoverallmeaningoftheessay.
Remember:
Youwanttouseobjectivelanguagethataccuratelyrepresentstheoriginalauthorsangleofvision:donotprovideanalysisor
discussion.
Youshouldnotsimplysubstitutewords.
Youshouldchangeupthesentencestructure.
Theendresultneedstocaptureallthemainpointsbutalsobeinyourownwords.
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Youneedtosubmitthisassignmenttoyourinstructorformarking.(5%)
ARTICLE:ASSIGNMENT2
HeroinasOneoftheMostLethalDrugs
Amongprohibitednarcoticsubstances,heroinhasbeenclassifiedasoneofthemostaddictiveanddetrimental.Inarecent
researchstudyrunbytheInstituteofNarcoticExaminationinRollesque,Nevada,heroinranked2.89outof3ona
dependenceratingscale(Perez,2012).ThisresultwasalsoconfirmedbyscoresofresearchheldinLondonbytheAcademy
ofPharmaceuticalStudies(Perez,2012).Anopiateprocessedfrommorphine,heroinisdelineatedasalethaldrug.The
commonformofheroinsoldinstreetslookslikeawhiteorbrowngummysubstancewithahighconsistencyoftar.
Heroinisinjectedintothehumanbodythroughahypothermicneedledirectlyinamuscleoraparticularbloodvein.Itcan
alsobesmokedlikecigarettes.Thereisthepossibilityofitbeingsuccessfullymixedwithdrugsorsnortedascocaine.Street
heroinisoftenmixedwithothersubstanceslikesugar,starch,quinine,poisonsorevenpowdermilktodilutetheeffect.Short
andlongtermeffectsofheroinusehavedifferentlevelsofwithdrawal,reinforcements,tolerance,dependencyand
intoxication.Heroinreducespainandmimicsthetraitsofendorphins,whichcausesthehumanbraintoexperiencepleasure
(Hollow,2011).Thecentralneuralsystembecomessupersaturatedwithendorphinlikesubstances,andwhentheeffectof
heroinends,individualsbegintofeeltheneedforanewinjectiontoprolongpleasure(Hollow,2011).
Thedegreeofheroinaddictivenesscanbemeasuredbytheseverewithdrawalsymptomswhichitinducesinindividuals.
Amongthemostcommonsymptoms,onecanenlistthefollowing:awarmflushfeelingintheskin,anillmoodand
depression,vomiting,itching,nausea,andheavypaininjoints.Thecardiacfunctionsandtheneuralsystemfunctionsslow
down,thoughitoftendependsontheindividualsgenetictype,amountofthedrugtaken,andthepurityofthesubstance
(Hollow,2011).
Heroinaddictioncausesnumeroussideeffectstothephysicalbody.Bloodveinstructurecollapses,andariskofreceivinga
heartinfection,liverdisease,orabscessesdramaticallyincreases.Longtermaddictiontothedrugtakestheformofachronic,
relapsingdisease.Longtermuseofheroinpromptsuserstograduallyincreasedoses.Onceauserisinthechronicstage,this
impliessuchsymptomsasrestlessness,boneandmusclepain,insomnia,andintensewithdrawalstageslastingfor24to48
hoursafterheroinhasbeentaken(Lichter,2012).
Thetreatmentofheroinaddictionincludesathoroughdetoxificationprogram,whichhelpstominimizetheseverityof
withdrawalsymptoms.Theuseofmedicationsfortreatmentalongwiththerapyhelpsindividualscope.Methadoneprograms,
buprenorphine,togetherwithbehavioraltherapiesaidtorecoverfromaddiction(Perez,2012).Theseaspectsareimportant,
asbothbehavioralandpharmacologicalinterventionscaneffectivelynormalizeaddictionlevels,brainfunctionsandsocial
behavior.Thesemethodsareusedinavariedcombinationtocurethewithdrawal,tolerance,dependenceandintoxication
elementstominimizetheaddictivequalitiesofheroin.
References:
Hollow,M.(2011).Heroin:TheUltimateDrug.Chicago:RunningHillBooks.
Lichter,M.(2012).TheDarkHoleofHeroin.Boston:SidetrackBooks.
Perez,G.(2012).StudiesofHeroin.NewYork:GoldBeardPress.
Essaytakenandadaptedfrom:http://academichelp.net/samples/essays/expository/heroinlethaldrug.html
3.4 Effective Means for Writing a Paragraph

Learning Objectives
Identifycharacteristicsofagoodtopicsentence
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Identifythethreepartsofadevelopedparagraph
Applyknowledgeoftopicsentencesandpartsofadevelopedparagraphinanassignment
Thissectionaddressesparagraphcomposition.Inthenextchapter,wewilllookatidentifyingcommonassignmentpurposes
andhowtoselectappropriatecontentforaparticularaudience,butherewewilllookatwhatactuallymakesupaparagraph.
Composinganeffectiveparagraphrequiresamethodsimilartobuildingahouse.Youmayhavethefinestcontent,or
materials,butifyoudonotarrangetheminthecorrectorder,thenthefinalproductwillnotholdtogetherverywell.
Imaginereadingonelongblockoftext,witheachideablurringintothenext.Evenifyouarereadingathrillingnoveloran
interestingnewsarticle,youwilllikelyveryquicklyloseinterestinwhattheauthor.Duringthewritingprocess,itishelpful
topositionyourselfasareader.Askyourselfwhetheryoucanfocuseasilyoneachpointyoumake.Onetechniquethat
effectivewritersuseistobeginafreshparagraphforeachnewideatheyintroduce.
Paragraphsseparateideasintological,manageablechunks.Oneparagraphfocusesononlyonemainideaandpresents
coherentsentencestosupportthatonepoint.Becauseallthesentencesinoneparagraphsupportthesamepoint,aparagraph
maystandonitsown.Tocreatelongerassignmentsandtodiscussmorethanonepoint,writersgrouptogetherparagraphs.
Astrongparagraphcontainsthreedistinctcomponents:
Topicsentence.Thetopicsentenceisthemainideaoftheparagraph.
Body.Thebodyiscomposedofthesupportingsentencesthatdevelopthemainpoint.
Conclusion.Theconclusionisthefinalsentencethatsummarizesthemainpoint.
Thefoundationofagoodparagraphisthetopicsentence,whichexpressesthemainideaoftheparagraph.Thetopicsentence
relatestothethesis,ormainpoint,oftheessayandguidesthereaderbysignpostingwhattheparagraphisabout.Allthe
sentencesintherestoftheparagraphshouldrelatetothetopicsentence.
Thissectioncoversthemajorcomponentsofaparagraphandexamineshowtodevelopaneffectivetopicsentence.
ParagraphLength
Howlongshouldaparagraphbe?
Oneanswertothisimportantquestionmaybelongenoughlongenoughforyoutoaddressyourpointsandexplainyour
mainidea.Tograbattentionortopresentsuccinctsupportingideas,aparagraphcanbefairlyshortandconsistoftwotothree
sentences.Aparagraphinacomplexessayaboutsomeabstractpointinphilosophyorarchaeologycanbetwothirdsofa
pageormoreinlength.Aslongasthewritermaintainsclosefocusonthetopicanddoesnotramble,alongparagraphis
acceptable.Ingeneral,trytokeeptheparagraphslongerthanonesentencebutshorterthantwothirdsofapageofdouble
spacedtext,orroughly75to200wordsinlength.
Tip
Journalisticstyleoftencallsforbrieftwoorthreesentenceparagraphsbecauseofhowpeoplereadthenews,bothonlineand
inprint.Blogsandotheronlineinformationsourcesoftenadoptthisparagraphingstyle,too.Readersoftenskimthefirst
paragraphsofagreatmanyarticlesbeforesettlingonthehandfulofstoriestheywanttoreadindetail.
Youmayfindthataparticularparagraphyouwritemaybelongerthanonethatwillholdyouraudiencesinterest.Insuch
cases,youshoulddividetheparagraphintotwoormoreshorterparagraphs,addingatopicstatementorsomekindof
transitionalwordorphraseatthestartofthenewparagraph.Transitionwordsorphrasesshowtheconnectionbetweenthe
twoideas.
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Inallcases,however,beguidedbywhatyourinstructorwantsandexpectstofindinyourdraft.Manyinstructorswillexpect
youtodevelopamaturestyleasyouprogressthroughthesemestersassignments.
Developing a Topic Sentence

Pickupanynewspaperormagazineandreadthefirstsentenceofanarticle.Areyoufairlyconfidentthatyouknowwhatthe
restofthearticleisabout?Ifso,youhavelikelyreadthetopicsentence.Aneffectivetopicsentencecombinesamainidea
withthewriterspersonalattitudeoropinion.Itservestoorientthereaderandprovidesanindicationofwhatwillfollowin
therestoftheparagraph.Readthefollowingexample.
CreatinganationalsetofstandardsformathandEnglisheducationwillimprovestudentlearninginmanyprovinces.
ThistopicsentencedeclaresafavourablepositionforstandardizingmathandEnglisheducation.Afterreadingthissentence,
areadermightreasonablyexpectthewritertoprovidesupportingdetailsandfactsastowhystandardizingmathandEnglish
educationmightimprovestudentlearninginmanyprovinces.Ifthepurposeoftheessayisactuallytoevaluateeducationin
onlyoneparticularprovinceortodiscussmathorEnglisheducationspecifically,thenthetopicsentenceismisleading.
Tip
Whenwritingadraftofanessay,allowafriendorcolleaguetoreadtheopeninglineofyourfirstparagraph.Askyourreader
topredictwhatyourpaperwillbeabout.Ifheorsheisunabletoguessyourtopicaccurately,youshouldconsiderrevising
yourtopicsentencesothatitclearlydefinesyourpurposeinwriting.
Main Idea versus Controlling Idea

Topicsentencescontainbothamainidea(thesubject,ortopicthatthewriterisdiscussing)andacontrollingidea(the
writersspecificstanceonthatsubject).Justasathesisstatementincludesanideathatcontrolsadocumentsfocus,atopic
sentencemustalsocontainacontrollingideatodirecttheparagraph.Differentwritersmayusethesamemainideabutcan
steertheirparagraphinanumberofdifferentdirectionsaccordingtotheirstanceonthesubject.Readthefollowing
examples.
Marijuanaisadestructiveinfluenceonteensandcauseslongtermbraindamage.
Theantinauseapropertiesinmarijuanaarealifelineformanycancerpatients.
LegalizingmarijuanawouldcreateahigherdemandforClassAandClassBdrugs.
Althoughthemainideamarijuanaisthesameinallthreetopicsentences,thecontrollingideadiffersdependingonthe
writersviewpoint.
Circlethemainideaandunderlinethecontrollingideaineachofthefollowingtopicsentences.
Exercisingthreetimesaweekistheonlywaytomaintaingoodphysicalhealth.
Sexismandracismarestillrampantintodaysworkplace.
Raisingthelegaldrivingageto21woulddecreaseroadtrafficaccidents.
Owningabusinessistheonlywaytoachievefinancialsuccess.
Dogownersshouldbeprohibitedfromtakingtheirpetsonpublicbeaches.
Characteristics of a Good Topic Sentence

Fivecharacteristicsdefineagoodtopicsentence:
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Agoodtopicsentenceprovidesanaccurateindicationofwhatwillfollowintherestoftheparagraph.
Weakexample.Peoplerarelygivefirefightersthecredittheydeserveforsuchaphysicallyandemotionallydemandingjob.
(Theparagraphisaboutaspecificincidentthatinvolvedfirefighterstherefore,thistopicsentenceistoogeneral.)
Strongerexample.DuringtheOctoberriots,Unit3Bwentbeyondthecallofduty.(Thistopicsentenceismorespecificand
indicatesthattheparagraphwillcontaininformationaboutaparticularincidentinvolvingUnit3B.)
Agoodtopicsentencecontainsbothatopicandacontrollingideaoropinion.
Weakexample.Inthispaper,Iamgoingtodiscusstherisingsuiciderateamongyoungprofessionals.(Thistopicsentence
providesamainidea,butitdoesnotpresentacontrollingideaorthesis.)
Strongerexample.Therisingsuiciderateamongyoungprofessionalsisacauseforimmediateconcern.(Thistopicsentence
presentsthewritersopiniononthesubjectofrisingsuicideratesamongyoungprofessionals.)
Agoodtopicsentenceisclearandeasytofollow.
Weakexample.Ingeneral,writinganessay,thesis,orotheracademicornonacademicdocumentisconsiderablyeasierandof
muchhigherqualityifyoufirstconstructanoutline,ofwhichtherearemanydifferenttypes.(Thistopicsentenceincludesa
mainideaandacontrollingthesis,butbothareburiedbeneaththeconfusingsentencestructureandunnecessaryvocabulary.
Theseobstaclesmakeitdifficultforthereadertofollow.)
Strongerexample.Mostformsofwritingcanbeimprovedbyfirstcreatinganoutline.(Thistopicsentencecutsout
unnecessaryverbiageandsimplifiesthepreviousstatement,makingiteasierforthereadertofollow.)
Agoodtopicsentencedoesnotincludesupportingdetails.
Weakexample.Salariesshouldbecappedinbaseballformanyreasons,mostimportantlysowedontallowthesameteamto
winyearafteryear.(Thistopicsentenceincludesasupportingdetailthatshouldbeincludedlaterintheparagraphtobackup
themainpoint.)
Strongerexample.Introducingasalarycapwouldimprovethegameofbaseballformanyreasons.(Thistopicsentenceomits
theadditionalsupportingdetailsothatitcanbeexpandeduponlaterintheparagraph.)
Agoodtopicsentenceengagesthereaderbyusinginterestingvocabulary.
Weakexample.Themilitarydeservesbetterequipment.(Thistopicsentenceincludesamainideaandacontrollingthesis,but
thelanguageisblandandunexciting.)
Strongerexample.Theappallinglackofresourcesprovidedtothemilitaryisoutrageousandrequiresourimmediate
attention.(Thistopicsentencereiteratesthesameideaandcontrollingthesis,butadjectivessuch
asappallingandimmediatebetterengagethereader.Thesewordsalsoindicatethewriterstone.)
Choosethemosteffectivetopicsentencefromthefollowingsentencepairs.
a.ThispaperwilldiscussthelikelihoodoftheLiberalswinningthenextelection.
b.Toboosttheirchancesofwinningthenextelection,theLiberalsneedtolistentopublicopinion.
a.Theunrealisticdemandsofunionworkersarecripplingtheeconomyforthreemainreasons.
b.Unionworkersarecripplingtheeconomybecausecompaniesareunabletoremaincompetitiveasaresultofadded
financialpressure.
a.Authorsarelosingmoneyasaresultoftechnologicaladvances.
b.Theintroductionofnewtechnologywilldevastatetheliteraryworld.
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a.Rapmusicisproducedbyuntalentedindividualswithoversizedegos.
b.Thisessaywillconsiderwhethertalentisrequiredintherapmusicindustry.

Usingthetipsondevelopingeffectivetopicsentencesinthissection,createatopicsentenceoneachofthe
followingsubjects.Remembertoincludeacontrollingideaaswellasamainidea.
Anendangeredspecies:
_____________________________________________________________________
Thecostoffuel:
_____________________________________________________________________
Thelegaldrinkingage:
_____________________________________________________________________
Acontroversialfilmornovel:
_____________________________________________________________________
Writing at Work
Whencreatingaworkplacedocument,usethetopdownapproachkeepthetopicsentenceatthebeginningofeach
paragraphsothatreadersimmediatelyunderstandthegistofthemessage.Thismethodsavesbusycolleaguesprecioustime
andefforttryingtofigureoutthemainpointsandrelevantdetails.
Headingsareanotherhelpfultool.Inatextheavydocument,breakupeachparagraphwithindividualheadings.Theseserve
asusefulnavigationaids,enablingcolleaguestoskimthroughthedocumentandlocateparagraphsthatarerelevanttothem.
Developing Paragraphs That Use Topic Sentences, Supporting Ideas, and Transitions Effectively
Learninghowtodevelopagoodtopicsentenceisthefirststeptowardwritingasolidparagraph.Onceyouhavecomposed
yourtopicsentence,youhaveaguidelinefortherestoftheparagraph.Tocompletetheparagraph,awritermustsupportthe
topicsentencewithadditionalinformationandsummarizethemainpointwithaconcludingsentence.
Thissectionidentifiesthethreemajorstructuralpartsofaparagraphandcovershowtodevelopaparagraphusing
transitionalwordsandphrases.
Identifying Parts of a Paragraph

Aneffectiveparagraphcontainsthreemainparts:atopicsentence,thebody,andtheconcludingsentence.Atopicsentenceis
oftenthefirstsentenceofaparagraph.Thebodyoftheparagraphusuallyfollows,containingsupportingdetails.
Supportingsentenceshelpexplain,prove,orenhancethetopicsentence.Theconcludingsentenceisthelastsentenceinthe
paragraph.Itremindsthereaderofthemainpointbyrestatingitindifferentwords.Figure3.4providesatemplateyoucan
usefororganizingyourparagraphs.
Figure3.4ParagraphStructureGraphicOrganizer
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Readthefollowingparagraph.Thetopicsentenceisunderlinedforyou.
AfterreadingthenewTVguidethisweek,Ihadjustonethoughtwhyarewestillbeingbombardedwithreality
shows?Thisseason,theplagueofrealitytelevisioncontinuestodarkenourairwaves.Alongwiththereturnofviewer
favourites,wearetobecursedwithyetanothermindlesscreation.Prisonerfollowsthedailylivesofeightsuburban
housewiveswhohavechosentobeputinjailforthepurposesofthisfakepsychologicalexperiment.Apreviewforthefirst
episodeshowstheusualtearsandtantrumsassociatedwithrealitytelevision.Idreadtothinkwhatproducerswillcomeup
withnextseason,butifanyofthemarereadingthisblogstopit!Wevehadenoughrealitytelevisiontolastusalifetime!
Thefirstsentenceofthisparagraphisthetopicsentence.Ittellsthereaderthattheparagraphwillbeaboutrealitytelevision
shows,anditexpressesthewritersdistastefortheseshowsthroughtheuseofthewordbombarded.
Eachofthefollowingsentencesintheparagraphsupportsthetopicsentencebyprovidingfurtherinformationabouta
specificrealitytelevisionshow.Thefinalsentenceistheconcludingsentence.Itreiteratesthemainpointthatviewersare
boredwithrealitytelevisionshowsbyusingdifferentwordsfromthetopicsentence.
Paragraphsthatbeginwiththetopicsentencemovefromthegeneraltothespecific.Theyopenwithageneralstatement
aboutasubject(realityshows)andthendiscussspecificexamples(therealityshowPrisoner).Mostacademicessayscontain
thetopicsentenceatthebeginningofthefirstparagraph.
Nowtakealookatanotherparagraph.Thetopicsentenceisunderlinedforyou.
Lastyear,acattravelled200kilometrestoreachitsfamily,whohadmovedtoanothercityandhadlefttheirpetbehind.
Eventhoughthecathadneverbeentothenewhome,itcatwasabletotrackdownitsformerowners.Adoginmy
neighbourhoodcanpredictwhenitsmasterisabouttohaveaseizure.Itmakessurethathedoesnothurthimselfduringan
epilepticfit.Comparedtomanyanimals,ourownsensesarealmostdull.
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Thelastsentenceofthisparagraphisthetopicsentence.Itdrawsonspecificexamples(acatthattrackeddownitsowners
andadogthatcanpredictseizures)andthenmakesageneralstatementthatdrawsaconclusionfromtheseexamples
(animalssensesarebetterthanhumans).Inthiscase,thesupportingsentencesareplacedbeforethetopicsentenceandthe
concludingsentenceisthesameasthetopicsentence.
Thistechniqueisfrequentlyusedinpersuasivewriting.Thewriterproducesdetailedexamplesasevidencetobackuphisor
herpoint,preparingthereadertoaccepttheconcludingtopicsentenceasthetruth.
Sometimes,thetopicsentenceappearsinthemiddleofaparagraph.Readthefollowingexample.Thetopicsentenceis
underlinedforyou.
Formanyyears,IsufferedfromsevereanxietyeverytimeItookanexam.Hoursbeforetheexam,myheartwouldbegin
pounding,mylegswouldshake,andsometimesIwouldbecomephysicallyunabletomove.Lastyear,Iwasreferredtoa
specialistandfinallyfoundawaytocontrolmyanxietybreathingexercises.Itseemssosimple,butbydoingjustafew
breathingexercisesacoupleofhoursbeforeanexam,Igraduallygotmyanxietyundercontrol.Theexerciseshelpslowmy
heartrateandmakemefeellessanxious.Betteryet,theyrequirenopills,noequipment,andverylittletime.Itisamazing
howjustbreathingcorrectlyhashelpedmelearntomanagemyanxietysymptoms.
Inthisparagraph,theunderlinedsentenceisthetopicsentence.Itexpressesthemainideathatbreathingexercisescanhelp
controlanxiety.Theprecedingsentencesenablethewritertobuilduptohismainpoint(breathingexercisescanhelpcontrol
anxiety)byusingapersonalanecdote(howthewriterusedtosufferfromanxiety).Thesupportingsentencesthenexpandon
howbreathingexerciseshelpthewriterbyprovidingadditionalinformation.Thelastsentenceistheconcludingsentenceand
restateshowbreathingcanhelpmanageanxiety.
Placingatopicsentenceinthemiddleofaparagraphisoftenusedincreativewriting.Ifyounoticethatyouhaveusedatopic
sentenceinthemiddleofaparagraphinanacademicessay,readthroughtheparagraphcarefullytomakesurethatitcontains
onlyonemajortopic.
Implied Topic Sentences

Somewellorganizedparagraphsdonotcontainatopicsentenceatall.Insteadofbeingdirectlystated,themainideais
impliedinthecontentoftheparagraph.Readthefollowingexample:
Heavingherselfupthestairs,Luellahadtopauseforbreathseveraltimes.Sheletoutawheezeasshesatdownheavilyinthe
woodenrockingchair.Taoapproachedhercautiously,asifshemightcrumbleattheslightesttouch.Hestudiedherface,like
parchmentstretchedacrossthebonessofinelyhecouldalmostseerightthroughtheskintothedecayingmuscleunderneath.
Luellasmiledatoothlessgrin.
Althoughnosinglesentenceinthisparagraphstatesthemainidea,theentireparagraphfocusesononeconceptthatLuella
isextremelyold.Thetopicsentenceisthusimpliedratherthanstated.Thistechniqueisoftenusedindescriptiveornarrative
writing.Impliedtopicsentencesworkwellifthewriterhasafirmideaofwhatheorsheintendstosayintheparagraphand
stickstoit.However,aparagraphlosesitseffectivenessifanimpliedtopicsentenceistoosubtleorthewriterlosesfocus.
Tip
Avoidusingimpliedtopicsentencesinaninformationaldocument.Readersoftenlosepatienceiftheyareunabletoquickly
graspwhatthewriteristryingtosay.Theclearestandmostefficientwaytocommunicateinaninformationaldocumentisto
positionthetopicsentenceatthebeginningoftheparagraph.
Identifythetopicsentence,supportingsentences,andconcludingsentenceinthefollowingparagraph.
Thedesertprovidesaharshenvironmentinwhichfewmammalsareabletoadapt.Ofthesehardycreatures,the
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kangarooratispossiblythemostfascinating.Abletoliveinsomeofthemostaridpartsofthesouthwest,the
kangarooratneithersweatsnorpantstokeepcool.Itsspecializedkidneysenableittosurviveonaminusculeamount
ofwater.Unlikeotherdesertcreatures,thekangarooratdoesnotstorewaterinitsbodybutinsteadisabletoconvert
thedryseedsiteatsintomoisture.Itsabilitytoadapttosuchahostileenvironmentmakesthekangarooratatruly
amazingcreature.
Supporting Sentences
Ifyouthinkofaparagraphasahamburger,thesupportingsentencesarethemeatinsidethebun.Theymakeupthebodyof
theparagraphbyexplaining,proving,orenhancingthecontrollingideainthetopicsentence.Mostparagraphscontainthree
tosixsupportingsentencesdependingontheaudienceandpurposeforwriting.Asupportingsentenceusuallyoffersoneof
thefollowing:
Reason
Sentence:Therefusalofthebabyboomgenerationtoretireiscontributingtothecurrentlackofavailablejobs.
Fact
Sentence:Manyfamiliesnowrelyonolderrelativestosupportthemfinancially.
Statistic
Sentence:Nearly10percentofadultsarecurrentlyunemployedintheUnitedStates.
Quotation
Sentence:Wewillnotallowthissituationtocontinue,statedSenatorJohns.
Example
Sentence:Lastyear,Billwasaskedtoretireattheageof55.
Thetypeofsupportingsentenceyouchoosewilldependonwhatyouarewritingandwhyyouarewriting.Forexample,if
youareattemptingtopersuadeyouraudiencetotakeaparticularposition,youshouldrelyonfacts,statistics,andconcrete
examples,ratherthanpersonalopinions.Readthefollowingexample:
Therearenumerousadvantagestoowningahybridcar.(Topicsentence)
First,theyget20percentto35percentmorekilometrestothelitrethanafuelefficientgaspoweredvehicle.(Supporting
sentence1:statistic)
Second,theyproduceveryfewemissionsduringlowspeedcitydriving.(Supportingsentence2:fact)
Becausetheydonotrequireasmuchgas,hybridcarsreducedependencyonfossilfuels,whichhelpslowerpricesatthe
pump.(Supportingsentence3:reason)
Alexboughtahybridcartwoyearsagoandhasbeenextremelyimpressedwithitsperformance.(Supportingsentence4:
example)
ItsthecheapestcarIveeverhad,shesaid.TherunningcostsarefarlowerthanpreviousgaspoweredvehiclesIve
owned.(Supportingsentence5:quotation)
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Giventhelowrunningcostsandenvironmentalbenefitsofowningahybridcar,itislikelythatmanymorepeoplewillfollow
Alexsexampleinthenearfuture.(Concludingsentence)
Tofindinformationforyoursupportingsentences,youmightconsiderusingoneofthefollowingsources:
Referencebook
Academicjournal/article
Newspaper/magazine
Textbook
Encyclopedia
Biography/autobiography
Dictionary
Interview
Map
Website
Previousexperience
Personalresearch
Tip
WhensearchingforinformationontheInternet,rememberthatsomewebsitesaremorereliablethanothers.Websitesending
in.govor.eduaregenerallymorereliablethanwebsitesendingin.comor.org.Wikisandblogsarenotreliablesourcesof
informationbecausetheyaresubjecttoinaccuraciesandareusuallyverysubjectiveandbiased.
Concluding Sentences
Aneffectiveconcludingsentencedrawstogetheralltheideasyouhaveraisedinyourparagraph.Itremindsreadersofthe
mainpointthetopicsentencewithoutrestatingitinexactlythesamewords.Usingthehamburgerexample,thetopbun
(thetopicsentence)andthebottombun(theconcludingsentence)areverysimilar.Theyframethemeatorbodyofthe
paragraph.Comparethetopicsentenceandconcludingsentencefromthepreviousexample:
Topicsentence:Therearenumerousadvantagestoowningahybridcar.
Concludingsentence:Giventhelowrunningcostsandenvironmentalbenefitsofowningahybridcar,itislikelythatmany
morepeoplewillfollowAlexsexampleinthenearfuture.
Noticetheuseofthesynonymsadvantagesandbenefits.Theconcludingsentencereiteratestheideathatowningahybridis
advantageouswithoutusingtheexactsamewords.Italsosummarizestwoexamplesoftheadvantagescoveredinthe
supportingsentences:lowrunningcostsandenvironmentalbenefits.
Youshouldavoidintroducinganynewideasintoyourconcludingsentence.Aconclusionisintendedtoprovidethereader
withasenseofcompletion.Introducingasubjectthatisnotcoveredintheparagraphwillconfusethereaderandweaken
yourwriting.
Aconcludingsentencemaydoanyofthefollowing:
Restatethemainidea.
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Example:ChildhoodobesityisagrowingprobleminNorthAmerica.
Summarizethekeypointsintheparagraph.
Example:Alackofhealthychoices,poorparenting,andanaddictiontovideogamesareamongthemanyfactors
contributingtochildhoodobesity.
Drawaconclusionbasedontheinformationintheparagraph.
Example:Thesestatisticsindicatethatunlesswetakeaction,childhoodobesityrateswillcontinuetorise.
Makeaprediction,suggestion,orrecommendationabouttheinformationintheparagraph.
Example:Basedonthisresearch,morethan60percentofchildreninNorthAmericanwillbemorbidlyobesebytheyear
2030unlesswetakeevasiveaction.
Offeranadditionalobservationaboutthecontrollingidea.
Example:Childhoodobesityisanentirelypreventabletragedy.
Onyourownpaper,writeoneexampleofeachtypeofconcludingsentencebasedonatopicofyourchoice.
Transitions
Astrongparagraphmovesseamlesslyfromthetopicsentenceintothesupportingsentencesandontotheconcluding
sentence.Tohelporganizeaparagraphandensurethatideaslogicallyconnecttooneanother,writersusetransitionalwords
andphrases.Atransitionisaconnectingwordthatdescribesarelationshipbetweenideas.Takeanotherlookattheearlier
example:
Therearenumerousadvantagestoowningahybridcar.First,theyget20percentto35percentmorekilometrestothelitre
thanafuelefficientgaspoweredvehicle.Second,theyproduceveryfewemissionsduringlowspeedcity
driving.Becausetheyrequirelessgas,hybridcarsreducedependencyonfossilfuels,whichhelpslowerpricesatthepump.
Alexboughtahybridcartwoyearsagoandhasbeenextremelyimpressedwithitsperformance.ItsthecheapestcarIve
everhad,shesaid.TherunningcostsarefarlowerthanpreviousgaspoweredvehiclesIveowned.Giventhelowrunning
costsandenvironmentalbenefitsofowningahybridcar,itislikelythatmanymorepeoplewillfollowAlexsexampleinthe
nearfuture.
Eachoftheunderlinedwordsisatransitionword.Wordssuchasfirstandsecondaretransitionwordsthatshowsequenceor
clarifyorder.Theyhelporganizethewritersideasbyshowingthatheorshehasanotherpointtomakeinsupportofthe
topicsentence.Othertransitionwordsthatshoworderincludethird,also,andfurthermore.
Thetransitionwordbecauseisatransitionwordofconsequencethatcontinuesalineofthought.Itindicatesthatthewriter
willprovideanexplanationofaresult.Inthissentence,thewriterexplainswhyhybridcarswillreducedependencyonfossil
fuels(becausetheyrequirelessgas).Othertransitionwordsofconsequenceincludeasaresult,sothat,since,orforthis
reason.
Toincludeasummarizingtransitioninherconcludingsentence,thewritercouldrewritethefinalsentenceasfollows:
Inconclusion,giventhelowrunningcostsandenvironmentalbenefitsofowningahybridcar,itislikelythatmanymore
peoplewillfollowAlexsexampleinthenearfuture.
Table3.1:TransitionalWordsandPhrasestoConnectSentencesprovidessomeusefultransitionwordstoconnect
supportingsentencesandconcludingsentences.(Inotherchaptersofthisbook,youwillbeexposedtomoretransitional
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wordsandphrasesforotherpurposes.)
Table3.1TransitionalWordsandPhrasestoConnectSentences
ForSupportingSentences
aboveall
but
in
forinstance particular
moreover
subsequently
also
conversely
furthermore lateron
nevertheless
therefore
asidefrom
correspondingly
however
likewise
ononehand
tobegin
with
atthesame
time
forexample
inaddition
onthe
meanwhile contrary
ForConcludingSentences
afterall
allthings
considered
inbrief
in
summary
allinall
finally
in
conclusion
onbalance thus
onthewhole
tosumup

Onasheetofpaper,writeaparagraphonatopicofyourchoice.Besuretoincludeatopicsentence,
supportingsentences,andaconcludingsentenceandtousetransitionalwordsandphrasestolinkyourideas
together.
Writing at Work
Transitionalwordsandphrasesareusefultoolstoincorporateintoworkplacedocuments.Theyguidethereaderthroughthe
document,clarifyingrelationshipsbetweensentencesandparagraphssothatthereaderunderstandswhytheyhavebeen
writteninthatparticularorder.
Forexample,whenwritinganinstructionalmemo,itmaybehelpfultoconsiderthefollowingtransitionalwordsand
phrases:beforeyoubegin,first,next,then,finally,afteryouhavecompleted.Usingthesetransitionsasatemplatetowrite
yourmemowillprovidereaderswithclear,logicalinstructionsaboutaparticularprocessandtheorderinwhichstepsare
supposedtobecompleted.
Key Takeaways
Agoodparagraphcontainsthreedistinctcomponents:atopicsentence,body,andconcludingsentence.
Thetopicsentenceexpressesthemainideaoftheparagraphcombinedwiththewritersattitudeoropinionabout
thetopic.
Goodtopicsentencescontainbothamainideaandacontrollingidea,areclearandeasytofollow,useengaging
vocabulary,andprovideanaccurateindicationofwhatwillfollowintherestoftheparagraph.
Topicsentencesmaybeplacedatthebeginning,middle,orendofaparagraph.Inmostacademicessays,the
topicsentenceisplacedatthebeginningofaparagraph.
Supportingsentenceshelpexplain,prove,orenhancethetopicsentencebyofferingfacts,reasons,statistics,
quotations,orexamples.
Concludingsentencessummarizethekeypointsinaparagraphandreiteratethemainideawithoutrepeatingit
wordforword.
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Transitionalwordsandphraseshelporganizeideasinaparagraphandshowhowtheseideasrelatetooneanother.
Supplemental Exercises
Selectoneofthefollowingtopicsorchooseatopicofyourchoice:
DrillingforoilinAlberta
Healthcarereform
Introducingafourdayworkweek
Bringingpetstowork
Createatopicsentencebasedonthetopicyouchose,rememberingtoincludebothamainideaandacontrollingidea.
Next,writeanalternativetopicsentenceusingthesamemainideabutadifferentcontrollingidea.
Groupactivity.Workinginagroupoffourorfive,assigneachgroupmemberthetaskofcollectingonedocument
each.Thesedocumentsmightincludemagazineornewspaperarticles,workplacedocuments,academicessays,
chaptersfromareferencebook,filmorbookreviews,oranyothertypeofwriting.Asagroup,readthrougheach
documentanddiscusstheauthorspurposeforwriting.Usetheinformationyouhavelearnedinthischaptertodecide
whetherthemainpurposeistosummarize,analyze,synthesize,orevaluate.Writeabriefreportonthepurposeof
eachdocument,usingsupportingevidencefromthetext.
Groupactivity.Workinginasmallgroup,selectaworkplacedocumentoracademicessaythathasaclearthesis.
Examineeachparagraphandidentifythetopicsentence,supportingsentences,andconcludingsentence.Then,
chooseoneparticularparagraphanddiscussthefollowingquestions:
Isthetopicsentenceclearlyidentifiableorisitimplied?
Doallthesupportingsentencesrelatetothetopicsentence?
Doesthewriteruseeffectivetransitionstolinkhisorherideas?
Doestheconcludingsentenceaccuratelysummarizethemainpointoftheparagraph?
Asagroup,identifytheweakestareasoftheparagraphandrewritethem.Focusontherelationshipbetweenthetopic
sentence,supportingsentences,andconcludingsentence.Usetransitionstoillustratetheconnectionbetweeneach
sentenceintheparagraph.
Peeractivity.Usingtheinformationyouhavelearnedinthischapter,writeaparagraphaboutacurrentevent.
Underlinethetopicsentenceinyourparagraph.Now,rewritetheparagraph,placingthetopicsentenceinadifferent
partoftheparagraph.Readthetwoparagraphsaloudtoapeerandhavehimorheridentifythetopicsentence.
Discusswhichparagraphismoreeffectiveandwhy.
Collaboration:Pleasesharewithaclassmate,compareyouranswers,anddiscussthecontrastingresults.
Journal entry #3
Writeaparagraphortworespondingtothefollowing.
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Reflectingonwhatyoureadaboutsentencestructureinthischapter,thinkaboutyourwritingtendencies.Whichofthe
commonsentenceserrorsapplytoyourwriting?Howdoyouplantoaddressthese?
Whatchallengesdidyoufacewhensummarizingandparaphrasing?Whatwillyoutrytofocusondoingornotdoinginthe
futurewhenwritingsummaries?
Reflectonthegoalsyousetpreviously.Isthereanythingyouwouldliketoaddoralreadyfeelmoreconfidentwithdoing?
RememberasmentionedintheAssessmentDescriptionsinyoursyllabus:
Youwillbeexpectedtorespondtothequestionsbyreflectingonanddiscussingyourexperienceswiththeweeksmaterial.
Whenwritingyourjournals,youshouldfocusonfreewritingwritingwithout(overly)consideringformalwritingstructures
butyouwanttorememberthatitwillbereadbytheinstructor,whoneedstobeabletounderstandyourideas.
Yourinstructorwillbeabletoseeifyouhavecompletedthisentrybytheendoftheweekbutwillnotreadallofthejournals
untilweek6.
Chapter 3. Putting Ideas into Your Own Words and Paragraphs by Tara Horko is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0
International License, except where otherwise noted.
This textbook is available for free at open.bccampus.ca
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Writing for Success 1st Canadian Edition

Chapter 3. Putting Ideas into Your Own Words and Paragraphs

Self-Practice EXERCISE 3.1

Sentence Structure (Including Fragments)

Common Sentence Errors

Self-practice Exercise 3.6

Self-Practice Exercise 3.8

Assignment 2: summary practice (5%)

3.4 Effective Means for Writing a Paragraph

Developing a Topic Sentence

Main Idea versus Controlling Idea

Characteristics of a Good Topic Sentence

Self-Practice Exercise 3.11

Identifying Parts of a Paragraph

Implied Topic Sentences

Self-Practice Exercise 3.14

This textbook is available for free at open.bccampus.ca

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