Jiara Laine Montano

SA 21 S
November 18 2016
The smell of chrysanthemums, candles and frankincense, the carrozas, the images and
the songs of prayer. Crowds of people were following behing the carrozas carrying the
images of their favored saints. The stillness of the air was stained with the chanting of the
Ave Maria and murmurs from the people praying the rosary. It was the holy week once again.
And my family had extremely prepared for this season of lent.
Once January hits, my family becomes busy not only with the new year but also in
preparations of the Holy Week. My family and extended family prepares this early for the
observance of the holy week as we are in charge of one of the images for the Good Friday
Procession. The over one-hundred-year old image we have of Santa Maria Cleofe or Mary of
Clopas has been passed down to every generation in our family. However, taking care of such
an old image takes quite a lot of money. The flowers used to decorate the carroza are also
quite expensive. The whole clan however pitches in as much money as they can give.
However, my great grandparent knew that the money it would take to maintain Cleofes
image would slowly increase. So they named a hectare of land named after her, where my
extended family plants rice and other root crops to sell so as to fund the expenses for the
event. Then the females in the family would prepare the clothes and accessories of the image
and the flowers for the carroza while the males would prepare the food and the hard labour of
preparing the carroza.
Even before I was born my family has always been religious. My brother and I were
sent to Catholic Schools. Ever since I was young I was always in charge of leading the
prayer, encouraged to read the liturgy in mass and participate in the via crucis. My parents
tried to imbue in me their religious beliefs by actively making me participate in church
activities. However, all my life I have always felt uncomfortable participating in such
activities. While I do understand that my parents want me to become a virtuous person I
could not emulate who they want me to be. I do not like going to mass for when I hear the
priests drone the homily my eyes become heavy and I start to sleep. I prefer to not pray the
rosary and not read the liturgy. It seems that because of my constant exposure to these
activities I have sort of grown tired of them. It all seems such tiring activities to me. Instead
of doing such extravagant activities that the church encourages, I prefer praying to God
personally. I prefer to talk sincerely with him in my own time and way. I also feel dubious
about some teachings of the church and find some of their credos hypocritical. While this
kind of attitude and belief of mine deviates from that of my parents, I, like my parents,
believe that there is one God who created and nurtured us. I believe in the two great
commandments of God that I have read from the bible. Nevertheless, I would not be what the
church would consider a devout catholic. I do not trust how most priests interpret the bible as
they seem to interpret it according to their needs. I do not like how priests are revered to be
someone above us followers of Christ as they are the vessels that God use to interpret the
liturgy. I do not like how the church use the peoples fear of death and need for blessings to
earn money. Because of these reasons I have stated I do not believe in the church as much as
my parent do and want me to. Instead, I sincerely pray on my own time to the God whom I
believe exists somewhere and who listens to me without much tirade and extravagant rituals.
While I may be different from my parents in this kind of way, the way I believe in God has
also been affected because of them. Because of my constant exposure to these activities I
noticed practices that do not fit well with me and made me question my religion and beliefs.