Camerone Last Days of Howard Hughes Play 1 of 2

THE LAST DAYS OF
HOWARD HUGHES
A PLAY IN THREE ACTS
BY
A. D. CAMERONE
ART CAMERONE
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THE LAST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
Howard Robard Hughes lived momt of him life in the

public eye. In the 20’s, he made movies; in the 30’m, he
invented and flew experimental planem across the United
States; in the ~O’m, he contributed to the war effort with
various military innovations; in the 50’s, he became one of
America’s top lO defenme contFactoFm.
As time passed, the publicity-minded Hughes became

introverted and seclusive. Between 1966 and 1970, Howard
Hughes spent four years of him life living in isolation in a
hotel suite on the ninth floor of the Las Vegas Desert Inn.
Hughes’s behavior became more and more eccentric.
During the same time period, and over the objections of

the TWA Board of Directors, he sold a portion of his TWA
stock for ~5 million. He used the profits to buy several
LaB Vegas casinos. TWA sued Howard Hughes, and Howard
Hughes ~ounter sued. The case was finally s~heduled to be
heard before the United States Supreme Court.
During the litigation, several attempts were made by

TWA to subpoena Hughes. However, Hughes refused to appear
in Court. He was also afraid that an adverse judgment would
result in a settlement that would bankrupt his empire.
Hughes needed time to accumulate millions of dollars in
oash.
As a solution to this dilemma, Howard Hu~hes gathered a

private staff of 18 men, assembled him own fleet of three
private jets, and began to live his life "on the wing".
In 1970, Hughes became immune from any legal

responsibilities because he left the United States. Any
legal action taken against him would first require
extradition. His plan was mimple--first be would vacation
leisurely in the Caribbean. After he visited Nassau in the
Bahamas, be spent time in Mana~ua, Nicaragua and Vancouver,
Canada. Subsequently, he returned to Mana~ua and Nassau.
He then visited Acapulco, Mexico.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE

Durin@ his travels, Hu@hes devised a money launderin@

scheme for his casino cash flow. He conspired with Luis
Somoza of Nicaragua to transfer the entire cash flow from
his seven Las VeEas casinos into the Nicaraguan National
Bank. It was in this manner that Howard Hughes accumulated
tax free cash while he patiently waited for the decision bM
the Supreme Court on the TWA case.
In 1973, Hughes was in Vancouver when he heard the news

that the Supreme Court had decided the TWA case in his
favor. Everything was fine. Hughes would have to pay
nothin~ in restitution to the TWA stockholders. Ironically,
the TWA Board of Directors would have to pay Hughes
~200 million for the remainder of the TWA stock he held.
Hughes would be able to return to the United States with
more money in the bank than when he left. Once again Hughes
had beat the odds and won the battle.
Unfortunately, Nughes’s luck turned bad. Before he

could return to the U.S.A., another Hughes enterprise, Air
West Airline, jumped on the bandwagon and filed a criminal
suit a~ainst him. Hughes had the same old subpoena
problems. He was forced to continue his wanderir&gs.
His bad luck continued when he fell and broke his hip
during an earthquake in Nioara@ua. Hu@hes’s already
degenerated physical condition steadily worsened. He was
slowly dying and he knew it.
The entourage travelled back to the Bahamas and then

frantically went to Mexico to obtain emergency medical
treatment for him. The hospitals outside the United States
were inadequate.
Finally, believing all was lost, Hughes injected

himself with an overdose of morphine. In a desperate
attempt to save his life, his staff tried to fly him to
Hughes Medical Center in Houston, Texas. This was to be his
last flight. Hughes died during that flight, aboard his
private ~et, on April 5, 1976.

Howard Hughes lived the last days of his life in a

world filled with contradictions, paradoxes, fabrications,
and secrecy. Hughes was motivated by his fears. He
suffered from scopophobia and germophobia. In his quest for
solitude, Howard Hughes prefabricated a legend.
All legends are the result of the merger of fiction and

history into one hybrid communication. The Howard Hughes
legend was public but ambiguous. It was news that there was
"no news" about Howard Hughes. Any story, however
irrelevant, received coverage by the press and TV news
media.
This play is about those last secret filled days of

Howard Robard Hughes, "the man who had to die to prove he

The set design divides the stage into three distinct

sestions:
~pstaGe right There is a two-story cubicle that houses

HuGhes’s support staff. On the first floor is the
telephone room. On the second floor is the senior
executive office.
2. Center sta~e - There is HuGhes’s private bedroom.
Downsta~e - There is the elevator area at the Desert Inn

Hotel. The elevator area is shown only in Act 1.
DownstaGe is also used as the place for the interior of
the private let plane.
When the private jet is used to transport the HuGhes

EntouraGe, the hotel suite is totally hidden. When the
action takes place at the hotel, the jet is kept off stage
in the wings (assuming the theater is equipped with a
53-foot wide’~prosoenium arch with wing space and fly space).
In this manner, the executive office/telephone room

cubicle and the HuGhes private bedroom area remain on stage
permanently. The jet interior comes and Goes as needed.
Each area can be lighted independently. For example,

when the telephone room is lit, the elevator area can be
dark and totally unseen by the audience. The other areas:
the executive office, and HuGhes’s private bedroom, can he
isolated in a similar manner. Various combinations are also
utilized. At times, two or three areas are lit
simultaneously.
The time and place are un-localized. The various hotel

suite interiors are always the same. When the" scene
changes" occur, the location is automatically altered. In
the wink of an eye, the troupe travels through time and
space. They travel from L as VeGas to Nassau, from Nassau to
Nicaragua, and so on. The "scene changes" should Go as
swiftly as possible.
The Last Days of Howard HuGhes deals with theatrical

time and place in the manner utilized by Shakespeare in his
Elizabethian TraGedies, Comedies, and Histories. The
location of the action is magically switched from one
enviroment to another. The set design should facilitate a
fluid, free flowinG, and "movie-like" scene change
atmosphere.

THB LAST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
CAST OF CHARACTERS
(In Order of Appearance)
JOE, a worker
HARRY, a worker
ERIC, telephone room manager to Hu~hes
GORDON, personal aide to Hu@hes
HOWARD HUGHES
JOHN HOLF~ES, chief senior staff aide to Hu~hes
LEVA/~ MYLER, senior sta£f aide to Hu@hea
~R~E F~UO~, senior staf~ aide to Hughes
HOW~ ~RSLEY, senior sta~ ~ide to
CHUCK W~DRON, senior staff aide to Hu~hes
O~S RIC~DS, senior staf~ aide to Hu~hes
~L BTEW~T~ barber to Huuhes
DR. ROSS, dootor to Hu~hes
DR. ~ERB, doctor to
DR. THOMSON, doctor to Hu~hes
JACK RE~, personal pilot to Hu~es
GENE~ LUIS SOMOZA, Diotator o~ Nioara~a
TEL~PHO~ ROOM PERSO~L; SE~RITY ~S; PILOTS
Non-appearin~ oharaoters on audio tape:

ROBERT HI~S, J~FFR~Y S~TH~, TOM SC~TZ,
~SS~R ST~FIELO TU~R
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAHERONE

ACT
SCENE
The scene opens with two men workin@ in the basement

of a fancy hotel. They are loading cargo onto an open
elevator. The supplies are an odd assortment. The packed
skid contains many large cardboard boxes. The clearly
marked cartons are filled with £aeial tissue, rolls of paper
towels, oases of Campbell’s soup, along with other household
Goods.
The workers are dressed in clean white overalls. Oddly

enough they are÷wearinG white Gloves. JOE is the younger of
the two, and he is clearly "the helper". HARRY seems to
have seniority, and he acts like a foreman.
As the men complete their task, they talk distractedly.

JOE is,as usual, belly-achinG. HARRY just wants to finish
up this boring job.
JOE
(As he places the respective boxes in the elevator.) Who

the hell is all this shit for? 50 rolls of paper towels, 75
boxes of Kleenex tissues, 145 extra large cans of Campbell’s
chioken noodle soup!!? (JOE Groans as he lifts the heavy
load of soup.) JEE-SUSS
(H~RRY works nonohalantly and silently. HARRY does

muoh less work as he stands still and cheeks off the
various boxes on his olipboard-held list. JOE on the
other hand is working up a sweat as he lugs the
oumbersome boxes onto the elevator. JOE realizes the
entire oontents of the skid will not fit into the
elevator.)
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 1

THE LAST DAYS. OF HOWARD HUGHBS
JOE
(As he turns to his boss.) We’re going to have to make two

trips. Damn it! ( Pause. HARRY just ignores him as he keeps
his eyes on the clipboard. JOE shows his anger by making a
"face", JOE grabs a carton of toilet tissue.) Harry, don’t
you wonder where this shit is going? (Pause.) Hey Harry,
who the hell ordered this stuff?
(HARRY turns his back to JOE. JOE grabs his arm to get
his attention. HARRY revolves easily, and he turns
holding a box of toilet seat covers. HARRY shoves the
box into JOE’S ~ut).
(Explicitly) Just put the boxes on the elevator.
JOE
C’mon, Harry, where’s this stuff going?
HARRY
(Pointing) It’s going on that elevator. (JOE pivots and

gets back to work.)
J0__~E
Then what happens?
HARRY
Then I am going to press that intercom button and say,

"Supplies coming up!". Soon a little voice will reply,
"OK., stand clear". Then the elevator goes up to Floor X.
(I4~RRY hands JOE a large carton of combs.) When it comes
down empty, and there is no more junk left on this skid, I’m
done. (IIARRY throws JOE another box of toilet seat covers.)
And that’s all I need to know.

Yeah, great, but what’s Floor X? Aren’t you curious? Don’t

you want to know?
HARRY
Who cares what Floor X is? I don’t and besides . (HARRY

throws JOE a box as soon as JOE places the other one down.)
I’m not the curious type. Why are you so nosy? Let’s get
this sucker loaded. (HARRY throws JOE another box.) C’mon
get moving! I’m getting hungry. Let’s get this done and
break for lunch. (HARRY rapidly tosses JOE several small
boxes.)
[LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.~
END SCENE 1
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAHERONE PG. 3

In the Dark, the sound o£ an elevator rising is heard.

The elevator rises nine floors; and at each floor, a bell
is sounded. LIGHTS UP as the elevator door opens on the
ninth floor. A guard stands stoically next to the elevator.
Two men dressed in white overalls immediately begin to
transfer the car’s contents to the waiting skid. ERI_____~,
another aide, tries to rush past the locked partition [SEE
FLOOR PLAN] to announce the arrival of the much awaited
supplies. However, before he can pass, he has to ring a
buzzer, look up at the closed circuit camera, and state his
name into an intercom.
The ~men in white unload the elevator quietly,

efficiently, and quickly. As they work in the foreground,
the hotel suite of HOWARD HU~H~S (H.H.) is revealed section
by section in the background [SEE FLOOR PLAN].
Each section is active according to its respective

business at hand. In this case, the news that the supplies
have finally arrived attracts everyone’s attention. This is
welcome news, and it is received by all with a sigh of
relief.
As the rooms light up, the news filters throuuh the

chain of command. This is the first glimpse o£ the infamous
HOWP~DHUC~HES hierarchy. Each level of the bureaucracy has
its own little niche. One after the other the rooms light
up until finally H.H. ’s bedroom is illuminated.
HUGHES is currently of£ stage--sitting on the toilet

bowl. H.H. is accompanied by GORDON, his personal aide.
H.H. has been desperately trying to urinate for the last
half an hour.
As BRIC enters the bedroom, he looks around trying to

find someone. His eyes focus on the bathroom door and he
shakes his head. ERIC sneaks over to the bathroom door and
stands with his back to wall nervously trying to get
GORDON’S attention.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. ~

ERIC
inconspicuously as possible.) Ahem (No response.)

AA...HEM!
CORDON
(As he pops his head out of the bathroom door.) What?

(Erio tries unsuccessfully to suppress a laugh.) Cheese!
Keep it down. You’ll distract him. He’s been in there for
a bloody half an hour trying to pee.
ERIC
(Trying desperq~ely to control his laughter.) Sorry, Gordo,

but every time I see you two in the ~ohn together, I think
about the night he had the runs and he made you sleep in the
tub while he slept on the bowl. (ERIC lauEhs).
GORDON
Drop dead. What do you want?
ERIC
The supplies are in.
GORDON
Thank God. Good. Get out of here. He’ll hear you. Go on,
get out. (ERIC exits.)
HUGHES
(From inside the bathroom.) Gordon, what the hell is going

on out there?

THE LAST DAVS OF HOWARD HUGHES
GORDON
(With his back to the audience he sticks his head into the
bathroom doorway) The supplies are in~ sir. Is there
anything I can bring you?
HUGHES
(In a resounding voice.) Yes, bring me my apple strudel!!
GORDON
(He pivots and attempts to fill the order.) Yes, sir, apple
strudel coming right up.
HUGHES
Wait a minute, Gordon, help me out of here. I give up. I

might as well forget about peeing for now.
(As our hero enters the main stage/bedroom, he neatly ties
the drawstrings on his shorts. HOWARD HUGHES (H.H.) is
scantily dressed. He wears a loosely fitted white cotton
pull-over surgical top. His boxer shorts could pass for a
loin cloth. H.H. ’s hair and beard are lonE. He resembles a
Hindu ascetic living in a cave. His manner and attitude are
bossy, idiosyncratic, and quite pushy.)
HUGHES
(As he exits the bathroom.) I’ii try again later, Gordon.

Maybe in the bottle. (Pause, as he stares at GORDON, who
averts his eyes and waits for his next order.) I’m all
dried up. (H.H. looks around the room distractedly and he
notices a bowl of soup.) That soup might help. Reheat this
soup, Gordon. (H.H. points to the bowl of soup and reveals
his extra lone finger nails.) It’s probably ice cold.
(GORDON knows this ritual well and be scoops up the soup
quickly. He is almost out the door before A~JGHES finishes
the command.) And put some more chicken in it.

GORDON
Yes, sir, (He attempts to leave.)
HUGHES
(Playing with him like a yo-yo, H.H. waits until GORDON i s

half way out the open door.) What’s for dessert, Gordon--
apple strudel?
GORDON
(Popping back in.) Yes, sir, apple strudel. In fact it

~ust arrived. It was made fresh this morning. (Lone pause
then he onoe aEain attempts to leave.)
HUGHES
Good! (GORDON pops back in.) I think I need some dessert

to get my blood sugar up. Don’t you think so?
GORDON
Yes, sir, I do. (He waits patiently.)
HUGHES
Sure do wish I could pee.

GORDON
Yes~ sir, so do I.
It’s not like the old days, Gordo.
GORDON
No, sir, it isn’t.
HUGHES
CHEEEZZE, I can remember . . . (His attention wanders off as

C-ORDON stands waiting at the door. H.____H. ~oes throu~ a
series of sub-vocalisms accompanied by ~esticulation. He is
recolleotin~ some past event. During the course of his
daydream, H.H. comes £aoe to face with GORf20N standing
patiently at the doorway. As H.____H. looks up and sees
staring at him, he is startled out of his reverie.
quickly oomposes himself and inquires.) Is that soup hot,
Gordon? (H.H. walks a few steps toward GORDON.) Bring it
here.
GORDON
(As he wanders to H.Ii.) But, sir, I’m just on my way now to
HUGHES
Never mind all that. Bring it here, man, let’s have a look
at it. (GORDON obeys and goes to his master. H.H. pokes at
the soup with a spoon.) Not enough chicken, Gordon. (H.H.
tastes the broth.) And it’s still ice cold. Take it back!!

GORDON
(Before HUGHES can further complicate the issue CORDON bolts

out the door.) Yes, sir! Right away, boss!
HUGHES
GORDON
(Simultaneously)
And don’t forget the apple strudel.
And I won’t forget the apple strudel. (As he finally
exits.)
HUGHES
(ALOe) Good man that Gordon. Good man. God knows a good
man is hard to find. And I know a good man is even harder
to keep. The sons of bitches! They can ohange from good to
bad so easily. Most men can’t be trusted to do what they
are told to do. Most men only want to do what they want to
do. And most of the time they don’t know what the hell they
want. How can I trust them? Yet I have to . . . don’t I?
(He turns and speaks to the audience.) The trust I have
placed in people was worthless. Why should I trust anyone?
No one can know for sure what a man will or will not do.
When you deal with humanity, the "unpredictable factor"
rules. Not so in the world of machinery. There’s a certain
beauty in machines. Machines are inanimate and unchanging
structures that are always willing to do exactly what you
want them to do. Men on the other hand like to fluctuate.
Men are constantly revising their standards. They lie in
ambush, waiting to foul up the works. I know . . ¯ I
know And now that I think about it, that’s what’s so
damn ~o~d’ about Gordon. He’s totally predictable. He’s
smart enough to do exactly what I tell him to do. He knows
his place, and he knows he should do exactly what I say. He
knows he should do what ever I want him to do exactly how I
specify it should be done. Gordon’s smart enough not to
question the way I say things should be done. He knows I
know best

(GORDON appears in the bedroom doorwaF, unseen by HUGHES.

He has returned with the heated soup and fresh apple
strudel, He waits patiently to be noticed and called into
the room, He listens to H.H. ’s soliloquy politely, but he’s
concerned because far too often he has found H.H. talking
disjointedly to himself.
HUGHES
I know best . . I know . . But how can I explain to

you? It’s like .. . ah, it’s like riding in a fast plane.
The controls offer no second guessing. Just apply minimum
pressure for maximum output. (H.H. finally notices GORlgON,
but he continues without pause.) Fine tuned machinery
providing maximum force. Action propelled . (He turns
and begins to walk toward GORDON with his arms raised in the
air.) Action propelled by well thought out theory!
(Directly to GORDON.) CONSTANT TRANSFORMATIONS NEED
MONITORING!!!
CORDON
(Seeing his chance to stop HUGHES from ranting on.) Yes,

sir. Here’s the hot soup with plenty of chicken, sir. And
your apple strudel, sir. Just the way you like it.
HUGHES
~Comin~ out of his hallucination.) Good, good. Put them

over there, Gordon, by the barcalounger. And set up the
projector. I’m in the mood for a good action movie. Slip
in Hell’s Angels.
CORDON
Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. i0

~ORDON realizes his trip for the food was in vain.

usual, in faot up to 20 times a day, H.H. orders £ood then
just lets it sit there. GORDON patiently plaoes the tray of
food down, and quioklF goes about setting up the
As GORDON sets up the video tape, H.Ho makes himsel£
oomfortable in the baroaloun~er. As the movie sound traok
is heard, the LIGHTS DIM in the bedroom. At the same time
the "Bi~ Six" offioe area is ILLUMINATED revealin~
six senior aides. The "Big Six" are preparin~ for the day’s
events. They sit at a long reotan~ular table.)
END SCENE 2

ACT
SCENE
The "Bi~ Six"; JOHN HOLMES, HOWARD ECKERSLEY, LEVAR

ITYLER, GEORGE FRANCOM, CHUCK WALDRON, and JAPIES RICHARDS are
assembled in their conference room. The six men are a11
dressed in a conservative manner. Them ali are wearin~ dark
suits with narrow ties. Them are already in the aiddle of a
heated discussion as the LIGHTS GO UP. JOPIN HOLI~ES is
sittin~ at the head of the table. He is the chief, and as
such, is chairing the meeting. A11 the men have individual
phones and bottled water with Elasses in front of them.
HOLMES
(Tryin~ to restore order.) Gentlemen, please, let’s stay

with the agenda. (FP.A~COM ABD MYLER continue to debate the
iBsue at hand.) George-- . . Levar, would you like to join
us. (FRANCOM and I~FLER nod and reluctantly sit back in
their chairs.) Fine. Thank you. Now, as you all know, the
next two weeks are going to be hectic. The meetings we have
planned are going to be particularly difficult. Our
successful completion of these matters is going to require
teamwork. So once the plans are formulated and set into
motion, please try to stay with the game plan. Levar, you
are coordinating the details surrounding the delivery of the
Annual Report for the Summa Corporation. Any major problems
I should know about?
MYLER
The usual: Davis, Henley, and Gay--affectionately known by

their loyal subordinates as the "Triumvirate .... are coming
here from California next week. They are coming to hand
deliver the Summa Corporation Annual Report. For those of
you who are new to the game, ALL of Mr. Hughes’s holdings,
his entire monetary worth is now controlled by the Summa
Corporation. And, whereas, Mr. Hughes is the sole
3 ACTS BY A.D, CAMERONE PG. 12

stockholder of said corporation, the report is being

personally delivered to him. The "Triumvirate" expects to
meet with Mr. Hughes personally. However, he refuses to see
them. We ares by the way, not supposed to divulge that
information. That’s top secret. Instead we are supposed to
be diplomatic. We will cordially greet them, obtain the
report, and send them on their way.
HOLMES
(Smilin~.) No small task. So what have you come up with?
The usual: The entire staff is aware of the "Triumvirate’s"

visit. They will receive the royal treatment from the
moment they arrive. After a suitable waiting period, I’ll
pop out and announce that Mr. Hughes is in the middle of an
urgent overseas phone call that could last for hours. We
are to ask that the report be left here and then escort the
messengers to their awaiting hotel suite. After a few hours
I will hand deliver a memo from the boss. This is supposed
to lessen the apparent snub. Then we are to . . . and I
quote Mr. Hughes "Get’em the hell out of here!",
HOLMES
Good grief, I hope that’s going to work.
MYLER
It’s going to have to, John. The boss left those explicit
orders. He was quite emphatic as to how he wants this
matter handled. (Long pause as ~IYLER and HOLMES stare at
each other.)
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAHERONB PG. 13

OK., we’ll follow that plan and hope for the best. If we
have to, we’ll play it by ear. Levar, you handle the big
three the best you can. I’ll make myself scarce during the
visit and follow up with a phone call to Encino when they
get back to California. If necessary, I’ll visit Romaine
Street later this month. One way or another we’ll smooth
things out. (As he is talking a buzzer sounds at GEORGH
FRANCOM’s phone. He quickly picks it up. HOLMES continues
talking about some insignificant detail about Hu~hes’s
California front on Romaine Street in Enoino, California.)
Yes. Yes, what is it? OK., fine. (He pla~es his hand over
the telephone mouth piece.) Excuse me, John, they found a
suitable barber.
HOLMES
(He breaks his previous ~onversation immediately.) Great,

get him in here as soon as possible. (F~COM nods and ~oes
back to the telephone conversation.) Wait. You have
checked him out personally, George?
FR/LNCOM
Well, no, I haven’t seen him yet. Glen Kay is on the other
end. (He holds out the phone reoeiver.) He’s done all the
initial interviewing. (HOLI~ES looks skeptical and FR~NCOM
picks up the non-verbal communication. ~P.A~COM resumes
talkin~ on the phone.) Kay, what’s this guy’s name, again?
Right, Mel Stuart. I have his file right here? When did it
come in? This morning! All right give me a second. (He
thumbs through a pile of paperwork in front of him. He
finds the folder, opens it, and begins to read aloud from
it.) Melvin Stuart, age A5 previous occupation male
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAHERONE PG. Ia

nurse . . . Personality profile indicates a hard working,

polite, discreet, individual. (He looks up and smiles
broadly.) And he’s a devout Mormon. (HOL~S smiles back
and nods his approval.) OK., Kay, fly him in as soon as
possible and set him up in the hotel. Make sure he
understands how he is supposed to behave. Bring him to me
as soon as he gets here. I’ll conduct the final interview
then. What? Kay, why didn’t you tell me this in the first
place? No I didn’t know. Never mind. Hold on. (He covers
the phone and looks up at HOL2fES.) Kay says the barber has
already been approved by Mr. Hughes. The boss was the one
who gave Kay the lead on where to find this guy Stuart.
(HOLMES shakes his head in disbelief and raises his hands to
the heavens. FRANCOM understands the gesture and talks into
the phone.) Kay, when did all this happen? (To HOLIgES) This
morning at 9:00 a.m. (Back to K_~Z.) Are you sure it was
Mr. Hughes who called you? What was the password the caller
used? (To HOL2~S) Sparrow’s Flush? (HOLIgES flips through
a pile ~f ~apers until he finds the current "password
memo".)
HOLNES
(Reading from the memo.) The new password was logged in at

8:55 am.
FRANCON
Never mind, Kay. Just bring this guy Stuart to Las Vegas as
soon as possible. Get here on the next flight into town.
Call me as soon as you arrive. OK., fine. See you soon.
Good-bye. (He hangs up the phone.) Thank God we found a
barber in time. He’s an R.N., too. Not bad. John, why
didn’t Mr. Hughes tell us that he wanted this guy to be his
barber?

HOLMES
I’m not sure why, George. But I’m sure he had his reasons.
All that i know is that I can now check "barber" off the
a~enda. Now, I can move on to another problem. (He picks
up the agenda and looks down the long list of projects to be
completed.) Let’s see . . here’s a sood one. You’re up
a~ain, George. Are there any loose ends dan~lin~ on the
plans for the Somoza visit?
FRANCOM
Well, we have revised the plan ten times. Everythin~

concernin~ the final arrangements has been reviewed twice.
There are some complications that may need to be handled as
they occur, but that’s to be expected. If nothin~
unforeseen occurs, everythin~ should
HOLMES
(Interrupting him.) Expect the unexpected~ George. Let’s

~o over the itinerary for General Somosa’s visit. It isn’t
everyday the boss has a visitor, and the man is a head of
state. Tell us a~ain what’s been planned.
FRANCOM
(Feeling that his competence is being questioned.) John,

I’ve briefed you extensively on this pro~ect as it unfolded.
You know what I know. If there’s anythin~ you want to
chan~e, just come out and say it. You know I’m always open
to suggestions.

You’ve done a fine ~ob, George. But repetition is a cheap

safety net. It will be worthwhile to go over the game plan
for Somoza’s visit again. It isn’t every day the boss has a
visitor, and the man is a dictator.
FRANCOM
Certainly, John. The dictator of the Central American

Republic of Nicaragua, Louis Somoza, arrives at the Las
Vegas airport on Wednesday, January 27th at I0 p.m. At that
time, Somoza will board our private helicopter for a 12
minute ride to the Desert Inn Hotel. The copter will land
on the roof. (He points to the ceiling.) Upon arrival
here, the General will be escorted to our penthouse suite by
three of our own armed guards. From what I understand, the
General also .-travels with two armed attendants. The
entourage will be secretly escorted down the stairwell to
our private penthouse hallway. As usual, all the necessary
precautions have been taken to insure complete secrecy and
security
FPJ{NCOM oontinues on in a monotonous tone as the LIGHTS

DI___~M in the "Big Six" of£ice area. Soon the office is left
in a silhouette. Simultaneously, LIGHTS GO D1~ in the
bedroom area and reveal H.____H. sitting in his ohair tasting
his soup. At the same time, LIGHTS TO HALF WAY in the
telephone room. The action in the telephone room is busy
but not noisy. During this "three area" lighting change the
voice of FR2aWCOM is heard laboriously reciting the plan for
the secret entrance of Somoza. FP, A~COM finally stops when
HUGHES’S bedroom is fully LIT. H.H. has just finished
eating the bits of ohioken in his soup.)
END SCENE 3

HOWARD ROBARDHUGHES sits pickin@ out the little chunks

of chicken from his bowl of soup. H.H. mumbles
unintelli@ibly, as he vocalizes his internal thou@hts. One
by one he eats the chicken chunks. When he finishes, he
places the bowl back on the tray. His attention is drawn
next to a lar@e metal box which is located across the room.
The box is kept within arms reach of the bed. He rises from
the barcaloun@er, and be@ins to walk toward the box.
As he walks, he be~ins to chant "Ba Ba Re Bop". On the

floor, there is an obvious path of paper towels leadin@ to
the box. After takin@ a few steps, he notices that several
pieces of paper towels are misein@ from the path. The
result is an i~passable section of exposed floor. This is
unacceptable, and he stops dead in his tracks. H.H. pauses
then loudly concludes, "Not enough insulation". He quickly
retreats to the barcalounger mumbling, "Gordon .)
HUGHES
Gordon (He sits in the lounger.) Got-Don.
[IN ONE QUICK BURST, THE LIGHTS GO UP TO FULL IN THE

TELEPHONE ROOM.]
HUGHES
(He receives no answer, and thie frustrates him. He begins

to fidget as he absentmindedly snaps his fingers against the
brown paper bag that is attached to the side of the lounger.
The ha@ is used to dispose of hie used paper tissues. As
his lone nails strike the heavy paper, a resoundin@ noise ie
heard.) Gordon~ where the hell are you?

[THE TELEPHONE ROOM HAS BEEN SILENT DURING HUGHES’S

NEANDERING. NOW~ THE ACCOMPANYING AUDIO IS HEARD.
BACKGROUND NOISES INCLUDE: PHONES RINGING~ PEOPLE
TALKING~ AND F~CHINERY HUMMING.]
GORDON
(GORDON is sitting in the telephone room eatinE lunch with

ERIC. ERIC manages the telephone room, and is sitting at
his desk with GORDON. One large switohboard separated into
four sections is manned by four aides. One other aide
oollects papers from the group and deposits them on ERIC’S
desk.) This place is really ~umping. What’s in the fire?
ERIC
Who knows? The usual insanity. (He takes time to eat his
sandwich.) You should know better than anyone, Gordo, you
spend more time with the old man than anyone else. I bet if
you counted up the hours you spend waiting on him in the
~ohn, it would come to
GORDON
(He quickly outs him off.) Please, Eric, don’t remind me.
I’m eating. And don’t try to play dumb with me. Nothing
gets past you, and you know it. What’s up?

ERIC
Yeah~ sure. (He takes another bite o£ his sandwich.) You

think it’s easy. Everything comes through here in bits and
pieces. Most of the correspondence is written in some
strange code. The CIA would have a hard time deciphering
the information that flows through here. I certainly can’t.
It’s all gobbledygook on this end, Gordo.
(H.H. has been sitting in his chair mumbling during ERIC and
GORDON’s brief exchange. Now, H.H. impatiently depresses an
intercom button and shouts a command into it.)
HUGHES
Gordon, where e~er the hell you are, get in here. I need
more insulation. (H.H. snaps his fingers against the bag
and the sound reverberates throughout the suite.) The floor
is exposed. I can see the rug. Get in here and cover the
hole.
gORDON
(He jumps when he hears his name, and he winces in pain at

the sound of the bag snapping. He quickly responds into his
intercom.) Yes sir, this is Gordon, sir. I’m on my way
with the paper towels now, sir.
HUGHES
Never mind the excuses, Gordon, get in here. Hughes out.
ERIC
Why does he cover everything in paper towels and tissues?

GORDON
I don’t know. I think he thinks that the paper keeps the

germs away.
ERIC
That doesn’t make any sense. Doesn’t the paper get just as
dirty?
GORDON
I don’t know, Eric. It’s all gobbledygook on that end too.

(The sound 6~ the baE snapping is heard once again throuEh
the intercom. GORDON shakes his bead as looks at his
unfinished lunch.) Duty calls. (He takes a few more quick
mouthfuls of food.) See you in a few. (GORDON exits the
telephone room and makes his way to H.H.’s bedroom.)
As GORDON exits the telephone room, the LIGHTS are taken

down to Black. The "Big Six" o£fioe area LIGHTS are already
in SILHOUETTE. Slowly, both areas are taken to black. Full
attention is drawn to the bedroom, where HUGHES is sitting
waiting for GORDON.
HUGHES
(In a burst of inspiration, HUGHES decides to draft a memo

to BOB I~4HEAU. I~4H~AU is a HUGHES employee who is used as
an envoy to the outside world.) Might as well write that
memo to Bob Maheau.

H.H. rises quickly and walks to the bedroom door. He

opens the door, looks outside, closes the door and locks it.
H.H. shuffles back to his baroaiounGer.
Paper towels in hand, GORDON reaches the locked door,

and tries the knob. Finding the door looked, GORDON coughs
conspicuously trying to Get HUGHES’S attention.
GORDON
(Knocking on the door.) Mr. Hughes, it’s Gordon, sir. (No

reply as HUGHES sets himself up in the lounger.) It’s
Gordon~ sir. I have the paper towels. (Still no reply from
]~]GHES as he readies his tape recording equipment.) I have
the insulation you ordered, sir. (GORDON tries a quick ring
on the intercom buzzer.) Mr. Hu~hes, Gordon here, I came to
fill in the hole. (The message reaches HUGHES, but he just
i~nores it. He continues to work on the memo, tape reaorder
mike in hand.)
HUGHES
(Speaking into the reaorder.) To Bob Maheau . . . From

H.H. (As if it is a standard warninG.) As always,
this ~n~o~mation is highly confidential destroy all
copies of this memo after readin~ -- ~e the matter
of (As GORDON tries the buzzer’aGain, a loud, short
buz~ "i~ heard.) Stop. (HUGHES is quick to protect his
secrecy and immediately places the microphone out of sight.
Into the intercom.) Yes. (He picks up a pad and begins to
write.)
~ORDON
It’s Gordon, sir. I have the insula
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PC. 22

HUGHES
(He continues to write.) Yes, Gordon. What is it?
GORDON
I have the insulation, sir.
HUGHES
(Preoccupied with his writin~.) What insulation?
GORDON
You ~ust called me in the telephone room, sir. You told me

to bring you paper towels, sir. To cover the floor to
fill in .
HUGHES
Never mind all that, Gordon. Just standby. Just stand

there and wait. I’ll buzz you when I need you. Hughes out.
GORDON
(Slumpin@ a@ainst the door.) Yes, sir. Gordon out.

HUGHES
(As he pauses to look over what he has written.) Yes .

I can use this. . . Yes ¯ ¯ . (He picks up the micro
cassette, rewinds the tape, and listens to his last words.)
[ON TAPE] To Bob Maheau from H.H .... As always, this

information is highly confidential ¯ . Destroy all copies
after reading. Re: the matter of ... (He stops the
tape and resumes talkinE into the microphone. Picking up
where he left off.) Re: I) Expiring defense contracts
2) AEC nuclear testing in Nevada and 3) Future
acquisition of Las Vegas casino licenses.
Bob, let me start by saying that I approve of your decisions

concerning the completion this year of the six outstanding
defense contracts¯ I also agree fully that an increase in
political solic.iting will improve our chances in renewing at
least five of these six expiring contracts.
Stay close to this pro~ect, Bob. Your success will require

persistence and diligence. This issue should receive the
highest priority. Stop New paragraph
Frankly, Bob, I’d be lost without your assistance on these

matters. So often, the quantity of work exceeds the time
available. (He looks toward the patch of uncovered carpet.)
Stop. (He turns on the intercom.) You still there~ Gordon?
GORDON
(Immediately responds.) Yes, sir.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 2A

HUGHES
Still there, huh? Good man, Gordon. Standby.

rewinds the last few words of the recordinH.)
[ON TAPE] ". Often the quantity of work exceeds the

time available . (H.H. listens, ponders, looks at the
locked door, thinks about C~ORDON, smiles, and confidently
states:). . . And as you know, Bob, constant
transformations need monitoring. Stop. ~He shuts off the
recorder.) Jesus, it irks me to be nice to this bastard
Maheau. The way he’s been stealing from me is a crime. I
still have trouble believing it’s true. But the evidence is
all there, and everyone at Encino says it’s true. That’s
the trouble with being the top man on the totem pole. I’m
always receiving conflicting information. The "Triumvirate"
says Maheau is a crook. Maheau swears he’s loyal and
honest. I’m left to figure out who’s screwing who. Well,
the hell wi~h all of them. Soon I’ll be going it alone
anyway. As soon as I get set up out of the jurisdiction of
the federal courts, I’ll fire the whole damn lot of them.
Just wait and see if I need any of them. But for now there
are still things to be done. Maheau is still useful to me,
and I might as well get my money’s worth out of him while I
still can.
(He picks up the mike and continues to dictate the memo.)
New paragraph. Bob, we must work together on this AEC
nuclear testing fiasco. There is much to be done, and many
people to be contacted. The Atomic Energy Commission has
plenty of alternatives for test sites outside of Nevada.
Make it clear to them it is not to their advantage to pick
the Las Vegas vicinity for this bomb testing garbage. New
paragraph. Bob, we must change this AEC policy. I am
seriously worried about the fallout from these A-bomb
experiments. There are too many uncalculated variables, and
as you know, I am a man who can not stand uncertainty. You
work your angles and I’ll work mine. The ceiling on
political contributions is limitless. Apply pressure where
it will do the most good. Pull out all the stops on this
one, Bob; I’m counting on you to come through for me. Stop.
New paragraph. As far as the Casino licenses are concerned~

THE LA~T DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
continue on the course I have designated. We are prepared

to acquire as many hotels as the market has to offer. No
offer is too outlandish. Any one who wants to sell should
be contacted immediately. If it’s for sale in Vegas, Hu~hes
will buy it. Keep me informed weekly on the progress in
this area. I’ll be in touch with you soon for an update on
what’s happenin~ on this end. Stop. End Memo. Si~ned H.H.
(He adds a warning to whoever ~ilI transcribe the tape.)
This tape is classified, destroy after use, make no copies~
absolutely no comments should be released to staff on this
or any other memo matter. Hu~hes over and out.
H.H. smiles broadly at completing his task, He rewinds

the tape and as he begins to listen to the playback, the
LIGHTS in the bedroom DIM. At the same time the LIGHTS in
the senior aide office area RISE revealing the "Big Six".
The six executives are still sorting out the affairs at
hand ....
END SCENE
ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 26

ACT I
The "Bi~ Six"--JOlfl~ HOLliES, HOWARD ECKERSLEF, LEVAR

GEORGE FRANCOM, CHUCK WALDRON, ~ JA~ES
RICH~t~DS--are finishin~ up their dailM mornin~ brie£inE.
HOLliES is EivinE the boys a pep talk.
HOLMES
. Let’s not forget that Somoza is a dictator. So, let’s

treat him like one at all times¯ Keep up the protocol and
you’ve won half the battle¯ These diplomatic visits are
most often an exercise in the fine art of finesse. Our ~ob
will be simple. We will transport the general to our suite
and remain as obscure as possible. We will talk more about
this matter. For now, I suggest we take a break and eat.
Thank you gentlemen, you may leave now. ~AII begin to
oolle~t their respective papers et~.) You know, on second
thought, I had better call Mr. Hushes and advise him that we
are adjourning. (All activity stops as several moans are
heard.) Patience men, this won’t take a minute, (All moan
and reposition themselves in their seats.) He’s not
answering. George, let’s really move on this barber.
Mr~ Hughes has been stalling on this haircut from the
beginning. There’s a lot happening here and very little
time for mishaps. I understand Mr. Hughes hasn’t slept in
the last ~8 hours. If his insomnia continues, we can
schedule his haircut for late tonight.
No problems on this end, John.

HOLMES
Fine. He’s still not answering. Maybe he’s fallen asleep.

(The group begins to break into couples and several people
rise and wander about the room.) Quiet men I have
him. Hello, Mr. Hughes . yes sir . yes, we’ve
spoken to Kay about the barber . . . yes, sir, ~ understand.
Yes sir, absolutely . yes, sir . . the morning meeting
is just adjourning now . yes, slr, I’ll do that right
now, sir. (He hangs up the phone, stands up, and addresses
the group.) Everyone is on "condition yellow" standby until
further notice. No one is to leave the city limits. We may
be going all night tonight . . . ~eneral moans of
disapproval.) Depending on the boss’s willingness to get a
haircut and a shave. Thank you for your time, gentlemen.
At this time, let’s take a break. I hope everyone enjoys
their meal, and everyone should be in the suite area by A:00
p.m. We’ll meet again here in the offioe at 6:00 p.m. (The
group rises-~gain and begins to exit; some of the members
are still talking as they leave the room. EC~f~RSLEY and
2~FLER are the slowest to leave and are still at the table
when the others are gone. All exit but the two men.)
Say, Howard, what say we play a set of tennis during the

break.
ECKERSLEY
Sounds good, Levar. (He glanoes at his watch.) We can play

for at least an hour. By the way, Levar~ I~ve been
researching those news releases and following up on that
invasion of privaoy angle we spoke about.
Right.

Well, it looks like a dead end.
MYLER
Howard, my boy, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I spoke

to Chester Davis for over an hour last week. He spent the
whole time picking my brain. He’s satisfied with the data
we’ve sent him. The whole project is based on dead ends and
bluffs.
ECKERSLEY
You’re kidding; that’s a load off mind. (Pauses as he waits

in vain for ~yler to say something.) So, what’s next then?
MYLER
As far as we are concerned, nothing. From what I

understand, Davis has established the Rosemont Corporation
to deal exclusively with Mr. Hughes’s name, likeness, and
privacy. (They begin to exit.) Everything is being
coordinated in Encino at Summa Corporation headquarters.
We’ll supply the usual backup services . . until then,
it’s not our job. What say loser buys the Cognac?
As I~7LER and ECK~RSLEY leave, the LIGHTS GRADUALLY DIM

TO A BLACKOUT in the office area. Simultaneously, the
LIGHTS RISE in the bedroom area to reveal H.H. listening to
the tape reoording o£ his memo. He listens to a few lines
and clicks off the machine. H.H. sits a moment and shows
his approval of the aomposition.
END SCENE 5

HUGHES
(H.H. puts aside all his re~ordin~ paraphernalia and fl

on the intercom.) Gordon?
GORDON
Yes sir,
HUGHES
Are you alone?

gORDON
Yes sir.
HU~HES
Good man, Gordon. Come in.
GORDON
~He tries the door, but it is lo~ked.) The door looked,

sir.
HUGHES
What’s looked?

THB LAST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
GORDON
The door is sir. (He pushes anxiously at the looked door

knob.) It’s locked (still pushing) you have
HUGHES
(Absent-mindedly presses the buzzer.) Oh, yes.
GORDON
(As he falls into the room.) . to press the buzzer.
HUGHES
(As GORDON falls into the room) Over there, Gordon. Lay
down a layer of insulation over there.
GORDON
(With an armful of paper towels, he Goez right to the task.)

Yes, sir.
HUGHES
(Rises and stands right over GORDON. HUGHES stands ready to

cross as soon as GORDON finishes.) Put down a double layer
just in case, Gordo.
GORDON
(Rises from his knees and collects his towels.) Will that
be all, Mr. Hughes?

(Shuffling past him.) That will be all, Gordo. (He goes

straight for the metal box. GORDON quickly exits leavin~
HUGHE~ alone.)
HUGHES Eoes about what seem8 to be a well-rehearsed

ritual. On a long table sits a large metal box. HUGHES
~oes directly to a small tin and removes a key. That key is
used as he quickly unlocks the box that contains what Hu~hes
calls "my medication".
HUGHES SOLUS
HUGH~S Hakes a bottle of morphine and a syringe out of

the metal box. He prepares the table with a formal air,
placin~ the paraphernalia neatly in a row on top of a white
tomel. AS he prepares, he is talkin~ to GORDOH. HUG}’]J~S
does not realize he has already dismissedGORDOH.
That’s all Gordo. I don’t believe I’ll need you for

anything else. (He chuckles.) My medication will take care
of me. (He looks down at his emaciated body and lauMhs.)
What’s left of me, anyway. Right Gordo? ~HUGHES turns and
finally notices that GORDON has left.) Now, where the hell
did he disappear to? He cuts out and leaves me talking to
myself. (HUGHES turns and directly addresses the audience.
Throughout the soliloquy, HUGHES meticulously and
methodically injects himself with the morphine.) Ah, what
the hell is the difference? This isn’t the first time, and
I’m sure it won’t be the last. (He injects himself.) You
know~ maybe it would help if I spoke to you about it. (He
begins to carefully replace the paraphernalia.) (He pauses
and feels slightly embarrassed.) How can I explain it to
yOU? You see, it’s like this . . . sometimes I feel real
confused. My mind becomes filled with hundreds of ideas.
The pressure becomes so overpowering that I can’t think of
anything. The best I can do is sit sleeplessly for days. I
get like a zombie and that’s when I start to talk to myself.

It’s like opening the valve on an oil pipe. Before I know

it, all these words come gushing out of my mouth. I taped
myself once, and I sound like a raving mad man.
(Lone pause.) (He reaches in the box and pulls out a pill
and pops it in his mouth.)
But the end justifies the means, because after I babble away
for a few hours I feel less confused. I’m able to take
control and make room for more ideas, more schemes, more
acquisitions, more madness. Ah, madness. Madness is my
motivation. My mania is the only thing that keeps me going.
I continue on mad as a hatter unaware of the fumes that
poison my mind. And madness is the fuel that feeds my
burning desire for activity. Because madness gives you the
courage to execute the physical implementation of your
metaphysical ideas. It is one thing to brainstorm your way
through life and quite another story when you make your
dreams come true. Reality is the cause of madness, or at
least my madness, because action causes reaction and that is
exactly what causes my head to spin. That damned standard
negative response to everything Howard Hughes attempts to
do. That is the reason I talk to myself~ that’s the reason
there’s not enough room in my mind . . . because my enemies
have constantly opposed me. They know the more confusion
they cause me the better off they are. The more they oppose
me, the more I talk to myself. I’ve noticed a definite
trend. (He reflects.) Ah, what the hell good is it?
Knowing what the problem is doesn’t necessarily solve it.
~In a burst of inspiration) Maybe it isn’t a problem. What
difference does it make if I talk to myself?
(Pause as H.H= has a reaction to the morphine he has just

taken.)
I think the morphine is working. I’d better sit down. What
difference does anything make? (H.H. turns to go to the
barcalounger.) Who the hell can figure it all out? Not me.
The Lord knows I’ve tried night after sleepless night. And
where did it get me? I wake up after going around in a big
circle. In the end, I was left alone talking to myself.
Ah, the hell with it! Nothing wrong with talking to
yourself. I do it all the time. You see it’s like
this Sometimes I feel real confused

(H.____H. has settled into the barcaloun~er by this time. He

continues to repeat his soliloquy as the LIGHTS GRADUALLY
DIM.) My mind becomes filled with hundreds of ideas . . .
the pressure becomes so overpowering. . that I can’ t
think about anything. . . The best I can do (LIGHTS
TO D~d~]~) is to sit sleeplessly for
END SCENE 6
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 3A

ACT I
SCENE
(LIGHTS UP ON THE ELEVATOR AREA.) FRPu~COM is exitin@

the elevator with the barber, I~L STUART. He hurries his
way through the check points set up at the reception area
and walks to the telephone room ~here he leaves STUART in
ERIC’S care. FRANCOM continues into the o££ioe.
FRANCOM
(With suitable protocol) Sorry I took so long. Downtown

traffic is murder this time of day. (To HOLliES) Hope I
didn’t hold you up. (HOLliES makes no response. FRANCOM
looks around_ . each of the men stare back but say
nothing) Come on guys, I’m only 20 minutes late. I have
the barber~ he’s waiting in the telephone room
HOLMES
(Busy with some paperwork that he is si~in~.) Calm down,

George. You haven’t done anything it’s Mr. Hu~hes
he’s
FRANCOM
(Thinking the worst) Did something bad happen?
HOLMES
(HOLMES stays calm and frowns at FRANCOM’S lack of

composure.) Now that I think about it (he pauses to
reflect) I’m not sure if it’s good or bad actually .

Come on John, what’s going

HOLMES
(Taking charEe) Sit down, George, and be quiet until you’re

called on. (To the Eroup) Gentlemen, this meeting shall
come to order. As you all know, Mr. Hughes was examined by
a staff physician at A:00 PM. I should note that Mr. Hughes
would not permit a thorough examination and in I0 minutes
had expelled us all from his suite. After a suitable
investigation on our own, it was discovered that at
approximately 2:55 PM. Mr. Hughes had injected himself with
a suitable amount of morphine. By 3:30 p.m.~ he was
babbling away incoherently while he lay half conscious in
his barcolounger. The doctor suggests that he will remain
in a simila~ state for hours. Possibly until tomorrow.
(Looking at FRANCOM) There’s your update, George. Now,
what’s the scoop on this Mormon barber. Can you trust him?
FPa%NGOM
Which question should I answer first?
HOLMES
The latter, George9 the former was a rhetorical statement.
FRANCOM
He seems all right. (Pulling out an envelope from his

jacket pocket) His psychological profile seems to be
accurate. All the way to the hotel he sat quietly and spoke
only after I initiated a conversation. The only problem may
be an ethical one. His paper work shows a propensity for
being a do-gooder. I guess the right price tag will
influence any shortcomings well enough. (He 8miles.)

Stay with the facts, George. We’ll discuss speculations

later.
FRANCOM
(Quickly) After my initial observation, I find Mr. Stewart

to be a satisfactory barber on call.
HOLMES
Do you think he would cut the hair of an unconscious

billionaire?
F~%NCOM
How the hell should I know, John? I thought you said the
boss was only incoherent! I’m not taking the responsibility
for cutting the old man’s hair while he’s asleep. There’s
no
HOLMES
Don’t worry, George. No one is going to do anything that

would be detrimental to the boss. However, the situation is
unstable; so I am opening up this discussion to the entire
group. Think lively, gentlemen, because it’s time to earn
your paychecks. As you know, during the next two weeks, we
will be hosting more visitors than we normally see in a
month of Sundays. Seeing as Mr. Hughes cannot receive
guests in his present condition, we must somehow cut his
hair, shave his beard, and trim his finger and toe nails.
Now at the
ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 37

W~J~DRON
(Interruptin@ prematurely) Maybe we don’t have to cut his

hair or his beard. Maybe we can use the excuse that
Mr. Hughes is allowing his hair to grow long because of
religious reasons. There has to be some obscure sect
that
RICHARDS
(Tryin@ to burst his balloon) What about his nails, Chuck?
(Up to the task) We can use slippers to hid his feet. And
we can . . . (alutahinE at straws) we can have Mr. Hughes
wear gloves. (This prompts a laugh £romMYLER and RI~Ig4RDS;
the rest shake their heads.)
HOLMES
(Restorin@ order) Nice try, Chuck, but it doesn’t float.

Mr. Hughes must be groomed. The only questions remaining
are when, and how.
M~LER
When is the earliest the dictator will arrive?
RICHARDS
(Tryin@ to partioipate) I have that right here

Wednesday morning at II:00 am.

HOLMES
(Keepin@ control) Somoza’s current expected time of arrival

is I0:00 p.m., Wednesday night. What’s the point, Levar?
While the triumvirate won’t be around for another two weeks,

Somoza will be here in two days. In order to avoid
confusion and maybe a little embarrassment, I think we have
to confine the grooming to tonight or tomorrow night.
FRANCOM
Are you suggesting we cut the old man’s hair while he’s
asleep?
He’s not asleep, George, he’s stoned out of his mind. As

such I don’t believe it will make much of a difference.
RICHARDS
To whom? Him or you?
MYLER
(Ready to debate the issue) Both. Mr. Hughes has already

approved the hair cut. No time considerations were
discussed.

(Siding with RICH~IRDS) But the man is unconscious. It’s

not right to cut a sleeping man’s hair. I wouldn’t like
it would you?
HOLMES
Let’s stay with issue. Howard your personal preference is

not germane. I’m going to force a vote on this issue
because I really do need your input. Any other comments?
(They all sit quietly.) Very well the hair cut will
take place either tonight or tomorrow night. As to
Mr. Hughes’s state of consciousness, we will hold a written
ballot. Gentlemen, please indicate your preference on this
issue by writing asleep or awake on a piece of paper, then
pass it up ._to the chair. You can sign it if you like.
(They have been throuEh this routine before and do so
quickly and ~uietly.) (Pause as HOL~S looks at the
ballo~s) Thank you gentlemen. George bring in the barber.
FRANCOM
(Flips an interoom button) Eric7
ERIC
(Throu@h the intercom) Eric Bundy here.
FRANCOM
Eric, it’s George Francom. Send in Mel Stuart please.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. AO

ERIC
(Confused) To the office, sir7
FRANCOM
Yes to the office.
~L and ERIC are seen leaving the telephone room and

making their way to the o££ice
HOLMES
Now, let’s not lose track of the little things. Keep alert
and pay attention to details (Enter l~EL and ERI~)
F~CON
Thanks, Eric, that will be all.
HOL~ES
(As ERIC is about to exit) Just a minute, Eric, is Gordon

around?
ERIC
Yes, sir, he’s in the hotel somewhere. Shall I get him?
HOLMES
Yes, thank you. Come in, Mr. Stuart or shall I call

you Mel?
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. al

MEL
(As he enters) Mel is fine, sir.
HOLMES
Have a seat, Mel. (He introduces him to the group°) Going

clockwise this is Mr. Eckersley . . . Mr. Myler . .
Mr. Waldron. . . Mr. Richards, and of course, you know
Mr. Francom. (They all nod hello.)
A pleasure to meet you gentlemen.
HOLMES
I suppose you know why you’re here, Mel.
MEL
Well, I imagine I’m here to cut these gentlemen’s hair.
HOLMES
(Playing with him) No, not quite, Mel. Didn’t Mr. Francom
give you the details?
MEL
Well, actually I never did understand what I was exactly

going to do. I mean I knew I was going to cut somebody’s
hair but
3 ACTS BY A.D, CAMERONE PG. A2

HOLMES
(Cutting him short) Well, it really doesn’t matter. (He

smiles.) does it Hel? (~L doesn’t respond.) Basically
this job makes you the official barber on call for the Summa
Corporation. Your duties will be simple and minimal. You
will live here at this hotel, free of charge as long as you
are on call. Your meals, of course, will be included.
There are usually cars available, if you need one. And you
will receive an annual salary of $30,000. You’re not
married are you, Mel?
MEL
(Slightly confused) No, I’m not married. But why
HOLMES
(Continuing to out him short) Do you have anyfamily that

depends on you?
No, not really. Except
HOLMES
Fine, then you’ll have no problem accepting the terms we

just discussed?
Well, this is sort of unexpected
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. ~3

HOLMES
All right, I understand~ let’s make that salary $50,000 a

year.
$50,000 a year for being a barber on call!!
HOLMES
Then, you’ll accept?
Well yes I guess so .
HOLMES
Fine (He buzzes for ERIC) Eric, come in here please.
ERIC
(Not certain of where "here" is) to the office sir7
HOLMES
Yes, Bundy, to the office.
ACTS BY A.D. C~MERONE PG. AA

ERIC
Yes, sir.
HOLMES
Now listen, Mel, you’ve had a busy day. Why don’t you
settle into your room and relax for awhile? (ERIC enters)
Eric here will help you get set up. Eric, see to it that
Mel is made comfortable~ he’s our new barber. (He rises and
walks toward MEL who stands as HOLI~S approaches him.) Now
don’t forget, Mel, (placing his arm across Mel’s shoulders)
we expect you to do what you are told. Stay in your room~
use room service for whatever you need. I’ll call in a few
hours with further instructions. Fine (he extends his hand
which I~EL shakes) Take good care of him, Eric.
ERIC
Yes, sir. (MEL and ERIC exit]
HOLMES
(Returns to the table, and begins to collect the papers in

front of his seat. Meanwhile, the rest of the Group waits
anxiously for his next move.] Gentlemen, Mr. Hu~hes’s
haircut will be scheduled for tomorrow night at 8:00 p.m.
This meeting is adjourned until tomorrow morning at 9:00 am.
Remember~ we are all on "condition yellow" standby until
further notice. No one is to leave the city limits. Have a
good night, gentlemen. (He quickly exits the room.]
/LIGHTS TO DARK as he exits leaving the rest of the

Group in stunned silence. HOLMES walks out of the office
and makes his way to HuGhes’s bedroom.]
END SCENE 7
3 ACTS BY A.D. C#uMERONE PG. A5

ACT
SCENE
LIGHTS UP in the Hughes suite. The lighting is

indireot and sparse. HUGHEH sits royally in his
barcalounger. HOLI~S is on the edge of his seat, somewhat
uncom£ortable with his role as seoret agent/stool pigeon.
HUGHES
Well~ what did they say?
HOLMES
I had them vote on written ballots. The tally
HOLNES
Did any one sign his name?

HOLMES
Yes, four out of five signed.
HUGHES
How did they vote?
HOLMES
Francom, Richards, Waldron--awake, Eckersley--asleep and one

unsigned--asleep.
3 ACTS BY A.D CAMERONE PG. A6

HUGHES
Who’s the only one with enough sense not to sign? Let’s see
that would be Myler. Send Eckersley and Myler to California
on some kind of errand. Have them pick up something or
deliver something to Encino. Send them on the first flight
out of Vegas tonight. Who can you bring in to replace them?
HOLMES
No one, sir, these men are irreplaceable.
HUGHES
No one is irreplaceable, Holmes. It doesn’t matter anyway9

we won’t need them. It will be better to travel light,
HOLMES
travel light, sir?
HUGHES
Never mind. You just remember that I want this situation

handled by the numbers.
HOLMES
Yes, sir. I was ~ust

TH~ LAST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
You know what I want, and you know how I like things like
this done. Let’s not have any foul ups.
HOLMES
Of course not, Mr. Hughes. By the numbers you can be

sure
(Over his reassuranaes) I know when to be sure¯ Now, I

have a few things for you. First, tell Eric to rustle up
Jack Real¯ __ I want to talk to him immediately. Also
everyone is .on call until further notice. I hope that’s not
a problem too?
HOL~H~S
No problem, Mr. Hughes. (He’s Jaok Real

Status quo on the call status
. . and three I want some peace and quiet for a while. I

have work to do . make sure no one interrupts me .
HOLMES
to leave2 Certainly, Mr. Hughes. Have a good

(He finishes the phrase) Good niEht! (He waves him out the
door.) (As HOII~S turns to leave) By the way, what do you
know about Nassau?
HOLMES
Well . . . it’s the capital of the British Bahamas Islands

located in the West Indies. Most of its visitors en~oy it
as a prime vacation spot.
HUGHES
British, eh~_ Outside the continental United States, outside

Federal ~urisdiction, right?
Yes . . . Is there a legal matter you’d like to have

researched? I ~an send in
No . No legal matters. I was just thinkinE .

(HUGHES floats off and beEins to uontemplate his soheme;
HOLI~_ stands awkwardly waitinE forHU~ final dismissal.)
HOLMES
(WakinE HUGHES out of his daydream) Is that all for now,

Mr. Hughes?
3 ACTS BY A.D CAMERONE PG. ~9

HUGHES
(Slightly startled at HOL2~IS’S presence) Have you found

Jack Real yet?
HOLN~S
(Perplexed) Mr. Hughes, I’m leaving right nowto do that.

We’ve ~ust finished discussing
HUGHES
Well? Get on with it then and leave me to my work.
HOLMES
Yes, sir.
out the door.)
HUGHES
By the way, Holmes stay within the suite area tonight. I’ii
need you from time to time as the night progresses.
HOLMES
(It’s too late. He’s out the door, so be answers from the
interoom) Very good, sir. Is that all, sir?
3 ACTS BY A.D CAMERONE PG. 50

No that isn’t all Holmes! Get back in here! (He buzzes h~m
~n as HOLI~S enters sheepishly l~ke a s~hool boy caught
doinE somethinE wrong.) That’s better., Now, I remember
what I wanted to ask you . How long would it take your
crew to get to the suite in an emergency?
HOLMES
(Proudly) With everyone on call, no one leaves the city

limits. The "Big Six" are always ready in less than an
hour.
Well now you’re the "Final Four". Hake sure you send Hyler
and Eakersley to California as soon as!ilpossible. I want
them out of the State now. An hour is ~66 ionE to wait for
the four of you to assemble. Keep everyone with you
tonight. I want you ~uys ready to move at a moment’s
notice. AsSemble everyone now and keep them in the office.
HOLMES
Yes sir.
HUGHES
Well . get on with it. Time’s wasting.
HOLNES
(Not sure what HUC41ES wants) Shall I assemble everyone so

you can speak to them, sir?

HUGHES
Of course not, I don’t want to see those blasted idiots.
HOLMES
Of course not, sir. (He stands waitinE for ulear

instruations.)
HUGHES
Blast it, Holmes. Why are you still here?
HOLNE~
Excuse me, sir, but everyone Is

assembled?
NothinE Holmes, just stand by. (HOI2~;S exits.)
Damned idiot. It must drive him craz7 to have to suck up to

me this way. I know he thinks that I’m a senile old fool.
He treats me like a deranged grandfather who has just enough
brains left to leave him out of the will. Is he dumb enough
to think he was ever in the will in the first place? Does
he think if he doesn’t do what he is told that he’ll be left
without a dime? He doesn’t have the nerve to stand up to
me. Come to think of it, I can’t remember meeting a man who
could stand up to me. None of them. Not even the

presidents . . not Kennedy, not Johnson, not Nixon. It

always comes down to the fact that every man has a price for
his services . . . everyone has a price for his soul. With
the presidents, the bribe is always part of the protocol.
They never considered the money a bribe~ ~ust put the cash
into the campaign fund. It’s part of the homage a citizen
pays to an exalted leader. /th . . , what the hell do they
know? (The buzzer in the bedroom door Bounds.
switches on the speaker and talks into it.) What do you
want?
ERIC
(From off stage through the speaker) Sorry to disturb you,

Mr. Hughes, but Jack Real is on his way. His E.T.A.
is
HUGHES
On his way where? What the hell are you talking about? Who
is this?
ERIC
This is Eric, sir. I’ve located Jack Real. You said that
you wanted to be notified as soon as
HUGHES
Jack Real? I want him here immediately. Tell Erio to find

him and get back to me as soon as he has done so.
ERIC
This is Eric, sir, and that’s what I’m trying to say. Jack
Real is on his way to meet with you.

Well make yourself clear, boy. God damn useless

interruptions always drawing me away from the matter at
hand.
ERIC
Sorry, sir, I was ~ust following orders?
HUGHES
Never mind ~at ¯ come in here I have somethingfor yOU

to do.
ERI~
The door is ’iocked,
(He buzzes hi~ in) Get in here, Eric, and listen up. Don’t
talk, ~ust listen . . . (ERIC pulls o~t a pad and pencil)
How long will it take for you to destroy all the paperwork
in the telephone room?
ERIC
destroy, sir?
3 ACTS BY A.D CAMERONE PC. 54

HUGHES
I want all the paper, every sinEle sheet of it, shredded and
burned. How lone will it take you?
ERIC
I’m not sure ._ . half an hour . . . 45 minutes. You want

all the paperwork shredded? Do you mean just the
nonessential information? If I shred everythinE, we won’t
be able to
HUGHES
Shut up and ~isten to me, bo7. Collect every piece of paper

in the telephone room. Place them a11 in boxes and brine
them here. When you finish, there won’t be any paper left--
essential or~nonessential.~e that clear?
ERIC
Ye~, sir. What about Jack Real?
HUGHES
What about him?
ERIC
He should be here in less than 15 minutes.

HUGHES
Good, notify me the minute he arrives. As soon as you leave

here,, find Gordon. Tell him what you’re doing and make sure
he stays with you at all times. From now on, report to me
in person. Don’t use the phone. Well go on get
going.
ERIC
Yes, sir (He exits.)
HUGHES
(Walks over~o the medication box. He checks the contents

and lo~ke it securely. He then Em~s to the closet, takes
I still plan ahead~ ~

their noses in everybody’s business. ~y don’t they leave
me alone? ~t’s all too ~ompli~ated now. If only~twe ~ould
have handled those TWA~to~kholders. No, now I p~obably
have to buy that Supreme C0u~t deoision~ ~ To hell ~ith t~at
ai~line~ They squawk about pennies when millions a~e at
st~ke. Now that I own seven Los Vegas ~asinos, my ~ash flow
is almost unmanageable. I’m EoinE to have to find a way
hide that ~ash from the IRe. I’m a p~isone~ of my own
wealth. G~eat ~ountry, the USA, where ~ed tape makes
impossible for a billionai~e to do as he pleases. That’s
all riEht, there’s plenty of room outside the United States.
No snoopy federal p~ose~uto~s always "seekinE fu~the~
~larification". (T~e d~r sisal
ERIC
It’s Eric, Mr. Hughes. Jack Real has arrived in the hotel
lobby.
3 ACTS BY A,D, CAMERONE PG. 56

Are you alone?
ERIC
No, sir, Gordon is with me, as you ordered. (The

sound8 and ERI~ and GORDON enter.)
HUGHES
Excellent. Send Jack Real in and make sure he comes

alone. Have you finished packing up that paperwork?
ERIC
Not yet. It’s EoinE to take at least an half hour.
HUGHES
Get on with it. I don’t have time to waste.
ERIC
(Obediently) Yes, sir.
Did Eric fill you in on this paper deal, Gordo?

THE LAST DAVS OF HOWARD HUGHES
GORDON
Yes, sir.
You know what to do, right?
GORDON
Of Oourse~ sir. I’ll follow your previous instructions

explioitly. (He tares ERIC by the arm and leads him out the
door. They exit.)

ACT
SCENE
HUGHES
(He continues to gather things together as he moves about

his clutter. He talks aimlessly to himself completely
unaware that be is vocalizing his inner thoughts.) It’s the
only way out. (He pullz out a map.) (The buzzer sounds;
HUGHES folds up the map.) (Into the intercom) Who is it?
JACK REAL
Jack Real, M~. Hughes.
HUGHES
Are you alone? Did anyone notice you on the way in?
REAL
I’m alone. Several people saw me since I’ve arrived. I’m

not sure .
HUGHES
Never mind. Come on in. (He buzzes him in.) Come over
here, make sure that door is shut. . and looked. (He
reopens the map.) Tell me, Jack, what you know about the
Caribbean Sea?

A part of the Atlantic, bordered by the West Indies, Central

America,’ and South America--area approximately 750,000
square miles.
Think we can find a place to call our own there, Jackie Boy?
I guess you could, Mr. Hughes.
Come here and

I’ve circled in red and see if
While you peruse, I’ll give some you some background
~ont~nue~ ~o soz’~ b~s ~]u~:er) on what’s going on.
I can’t say I see any apparent pattern, sir.
Jack, I’m a man who’s done only what he’s wanted to do for
my entire life. Why it was only my daddy who ever had the
power to make me do what I didn’t want to. Then he died and
I was alone . . . all powerful and fully free. I’m damn
used to being free. These bureaucracies strangle a man’s
creativity. I own seven Las Vegas casinos, an airport, an
airline, a 5~8 acre ranch and a TV station. Do you realize
how time consumin~ monitoring their functions can be? It’s
ACTS BY A.Do CAMBRONE PG. 60

THE LAS~ DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
too much for one man to handle. Add to it Hughes Tool &
Aircraft and remember I’m the seventh largest defense
contractor for the USA. A man needs total, unrestricted
freedom to run a conglomerate like that. Well I can tell,
Jack, I’m not getting it here in Nevada. The USA is not for
HRH. Th’is TWA case is a plot to ruin me. The signs are all
on the wall. The tide is turning and it’s time to go. (He
~oes over to JACK REAL and puts his arms around him.) Jack
you’ve always been a good listener. Remember how I used to
ramble about starting a new society? I was going to find a
piece of land, unrestricted by ~overnment control, where
there was no red tape or underground nuclear blasts.
REAL
Sure, you said it would be a new Utopia formed from scratch

the HRH way.
H~GHES
Right, a simple place, with a nice climate where the

government would let me do things my way.
It’s an interesting idea, Mr. Hughes.
HUGHES
It is more than that, my boy; it is a reality. Now, listen

carefully because I want this done exactly as I have it
planned. First of all, you’ll discuss this information with
no one. No one knows about this move~ keep it that way. I
want you to arrange for me to have permanent air mobility.
I want three planes made available for an indefinite time
period. Make sure each craft is suitable for
intercontinental flight. How lon~ will it take you?.

I’m not sure. Your personal ~et is available, of course,

and we have several other private ~ets in the hangar here at
the Vegas airport. I’ll need pilots
HUGHES
Just three additional pilots, Jack. You will fly my

personal jet with a copilot. Have you got two men you can
trust to fly the support planes?
REAL
Yes, sir. There’s plenty of pilots available. I’m sure

that won’t be a problem.
HU~HES
How long before we can take off for the Caribbean?
I guess I oan arrange everything in a day or two. Let’s

seer your ~et is always ready and waiting . . . Now that I
think of it, there are two other Lear Jets that are ready
for flight. As soon as I secure the pilots, we should be
ready to ~o.

HUGHES
That sounds fine, Real. Only do it in 12 hours. There will

be 18 of us counting you and the pilots. Make sure those
fly boys are reliable and discreet. Tell them money is no
object. Can you do it, Jaokie boy?
Sure, I’ll be ready in 12 hours.
HUGHES
I knew that I could count on you Now get out of here

and get som4~hing done.
(Rising to leave.) Yes sir. Mr. Hughes, may I ask our

exact destination? You didn’t mention it.
HUGHES
Britannia Beach Hotel, Nassau, The Bahamas.
REAL
Yes, sir. (He opens the door to leave.)
HUGHES
Remember loose lips sink ships. Tell Gordon to come in on

your way out.

Yes, sir ~Waits £om i~stru~tion.)
HUGHES
Well get going (he waves and REAL is gone) This is not
~oin~ to be easy . . . (H~GHES alone waiting for GORDON.)
This is not Eoin~ to be easy. As I see it, if they can’t
subpoena me, I don’t have to testify. If I don’t testify,
we can lose all the way up the ladder and buy the Supreme
Court decision. Now the problem is finding a comfortable
place to hide out. I like these Bahamas Islands of
course, we’ll h~ve to wrap up the government down "th~r~ to
the point where it would be our captive. I’m looking for a
set up where I’ll have the freedom I need.
find a place where I can start OUt with a clear :sheet of
paper. Then I’ll build a
the way they ought to be~--’ think:~heY S:~6~id
be. Cheez, I have enough money to do it. I ~ust need a
ohanoe to develop my soheme. There’s plenty of real estate
to explore. ~T~e buzzer #oun~.) Yes, what is it?
ERIC
It’s Eric, sir. I have the boxes of paper that you
HUGHES
Are you alone?
ERIC
No sir, Gordon is also here.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 6~

That’s ~ust fine. Come on in boys. (ERIC and GORDON enter.

Each is oarryin~ an armful of boxes. Both of their fa~es
are hidden by the large sta~k of papers.) Put everything
over there . . . that’s it . put it all down. Is
everything there, Eric? Is that every piece of paper from
the telephone room?
ERIC
sir.
Is that true Gordon? (He looks through the boxes.)
GORDON
Absolutely, there’s nothing left in the room.
HUGHES
Fine . . . that’s ~ust fine . Now listen carefully.

Take these boxes to one of the empty rooms. Go to the
storeroom and get the paper shredder. No one else is to
help you. Make sure this gets done right, Gordo. Shred all
this paper and bring it back here so I can see it . . I
expect you back here in the time that it takes to set up the
equipment, do the ~ob, and return. If anyone questions what
you are doing, tell them to talk to me . . You have strict
orders not to speak to anyone about what you are doing
Now we are going to be busy in the next ~8 hours. I want
you two men to stay close by. Gordon, after you incinerate

the paper, you will remain with me in this room until

further notice .. . Eric, after you finish helping Gordon,
you will find Mel Stuart and keep him with you° Don’t leave
the suite area. (THE LIGHTS START A SLOW FADE) We will be
leaving ~here soon . Before we go, I want all our
paperwork, in fact, all our personal effects destroyed. You
guys will be in charge of gathering everything and burning
it
END SCENE 9
3 ACTS BY A,D. CAMERONE PG, 66

ACT 1
SCENE 10
/LIGHTS UP in the con£erenoe room. RICHARD8, and

WALDRON are yellin~ at eaoh other. The soene is heotio and
borders on ohaotio. JOI4~ HOLJ~]~S is tryin~ to establish
order. F.~KI~RSLEY and MYLER have been exiled to California.
All are oomplaininE about the unorthodox meetin~ and
permanent 8tandbF. All the men are wonderin~ why E~RBLEY
and ~LER have been sent to ~alifornia.]
HOLMES
All riEht, let’s observe some decorum here. I realize that

no one likes to sit in a room on indefinite standby. I
sympathize with you because I also do not like to be kept
waitinE for lone time periods. I also have finanoial
responsibilities, and my job pays %he bills. Let,s set~isome
priorities, Eentlemen. Let’s Eat down to work and be Elad
we’re not on a plane to California.
RICHARDS
John, what the hell is EoinE on? Eckersley and Mylar are
sent to California for some lame reason. You increase our
work load, place us on indefinite standby and force us to
sit in this office for hours doinE nothinE but waitinE
How lone will we be waitinE ?
HOLMES
Calm down, James, the next ~8 hours could be hectic.

don’t need a nervous Nellie on my hands.

I’m all right. I ~ust keep thinking about the detective

Hughes has sequestered in Australia.
WALDRON
He’s paid $I,000 a month for his services.
RICHAPJ)S
But he’s been on call for two years. You can’t leave a man
in the Australian outlands waiting indefinitely for a call
that will n~qer come.
HOLMES
The checks Come every month. He’s free to leave an7 time he
wants.
RICI4ARDS
can’t buy a man’s life. What about our families? We have a

home life. What if Hughes ~oes crazy? What if
HOLMES
What if you become hysterical and are forced to resign? Now

look, James, I’m not sure what Mr. Hu~hes is planning.
Whatever it is, he’ll need us to implement the particulars.
(Everyone has settled down.) Now let’s call this meetin~ to
order. I wish Franoom would show up. Well, what the hell,
let’s get started. There are on17 three of us, but

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HUGHES
Clam up, Holmes. Gentlemen, I’m going to make this short

and sweet. As usual, everything I say is to be kept in the
strictest confidence. As you also know, that includes
contact with wives and immediate family. In II hours, a
party of 18 men will be leaving Las Vegas Airport for
Nassau. The four of you will be on that flight. Expect to
be on "indefinite standby" for at least IA days. Your
families will be contacted after we check into the Britannia
Beach Hotel. Now, Holmes, I want this place clean as a
whistle before I go. Collect everything made of paper and
shred it. Dismantle everything and store it in a warehouse.
If any of your crew objects to these orders, fire the
son-of-a-bitch. This is Hughes signing off.
All sit stunned, HOMS awaits any objections.

~veryone is shell shocked obviously in fear of bei~saeked
and not sure what tO
HOLNES
AI~ right, gentlemen, if there are no objections, let’s get

to it. (~eneral confusion breaks out. Everything is
overturned in "the bib six minus two area".) [Simultaneously
the plane interior is placed into position. From the wines
or fly space comes the interior of Howard Hu~hes’s private
FO7 Set. The iet is revealed empty. LIGHTS TO BLACK/

ACT 2
LIGHTS UP on the jet interior. The "Final Four" are

all seated. WALDRON and FR~a~COM are sleeping. HO~S is
too high strung to sleep from the stress of the move. He
sits babbling to RICHARDS who listens politely but is
already half asleepol
HOLMES
How ions has it been since Mr. Hushes fell off to sleep?
RICHARDS
I don’t know . ¯ he stopped moaninE about 15 minutes ago.
HOLMES
Think he’s really asleep?
RICHARDS
(Exhausted and glad HUGHES is quiet.) I certainly hope so;

I’m bushed. You know, John, I don’t mind moving_ . . but
in the middle of the nisht. . . after shreddins and
incineratins the contents of the entire Las Vegas suite?
It’s bizarre. Eckersley and Myler are lucky they were
exiled to California. God knows where we are goinE to wind
up.

We are going to the Britannia Beach Hotel in Nassau. Hughes

felt that, because we were in the hotel suite for four
years, embarrassing evidence mig~ht have accumulated. He
didn’t want anything to fall into the wrong hands.
Destroying everything was the easiest way out.
RICHARDS
(FallinH off to dreamland) Sure, most definitely

Thank God he didn’t decide to burn us too.
HOLMES
What are you talking about? I think you should takea walk
over to him and make sure that he’s asleep,
RICHARDS
(He aan’t believe it.) If I go over there and make noise

ne~r his bed, I might wake him.
HOLMES
Go ahead, John. Just be careful not to make any noise. You

won’t wake him. Go over and make sure he’s all right.
RICHARDS
Why don’t the doctors attend to him? We take along three

doctors and Mr. Hughes refuses to let them near him. And
why are we flying in three planes? There are on17 18 of us
and this jet holds 25. Why the two extra planes?

HOLMES
I don’t know why. Just go over and see if he’s all right.
RICHARDS
0K, if it will make you happy. (He reluctantly Hoes over on

tiptoes to Hu~hes’s bed. He surveys HUGHBS for a lonH
momen t, then makes his way back.)
HOLMES
Well, how ie~he?
Well, besides the fact that he looks like he’s dead and we
forgot to bury him, he seems fine. He really needs to be
cleaned up. We had better get Mel to give him a haircut and
a @have before we get to customs.
HOLMES
We’re not scheduled to stop at customs. Are 7ou sure he’s

asleep?
RICHARDS
He’s sleeping, John. Everyone is sleeping. Whynot take

the opportunity to relax . grab some shut eye .

HOL~S
This is crazy, Richards. You know how costly and

complicated the preparations were for the meeting with
General Somoza. Now, because of this trip~ we won’t even be
there to greet the General. I asked Mr. Hughes if any one
had notified Somoza. He casually said that it had slipped
his mind. I finally contacted the General. The meeting is
now rescheduled to take place in Nicaragua sometime in the
near future.
RICHARDS
Nice of Mr. Hughes to share that with us. I wish I could

see the faces on the triumvirate next week when they arrive
at the hotel: Do you think they’ll travel all the way to
Vegas before they get the news?
No, by that ~time %he will know that Hughes is on the move.
It won’t take them long to figure out that ~~hle!s phas!ng out
personnel. The triumvirate will be left t~ m~nage the
ph@ntoms in California. Mr. Hughes wants to run the show by
himself from now on. I hope that barber doesn’t break down
and try to run away. He was very upset about leaving like
this. We had to practically carry him on the jet. We’ll
need him before the Somoza visit. (RIC~ has fallen
asleep.) Come on. Don’t make like you’re asleep (A loud
enorinE is heard. HOL~S shakes RI~ violently) Wake
up slouch, I have to talk to you.
RICHARDS
(Tryin~ to paaifyinEo) I know what you mean . you’re

right I believe it It’s unbelievable.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 7a

What’s going to happen to us if Mr. Hughes loses control, or

dies or something?
RICHARDS
We’ll work for some other eccentric billionaire who will

ruin my family life while he places bonuses in my bank
account.
HOLMES
I’m worrie~A Richards. In the course of 72 hours,

everything has been turned upside down. Sund . . at first
glanoe all t~hese changes do not seem to be the product of a
logioal mind. Why wasn’t I briefed on this move until the
last possible moment? And all through !~h~s pandemonium,
Mr. Hughes keeps raving about some MoG~aw-Hill biography.
(HOLI~S is ta2kin~ to no one as RICHARDS ~as fallen ~aak to
sleep.) Are, you listening to me? Wake up, Riohards!
RICHARDS
(Trying to pauify him) I’m awake I’m listening.

Who’s this biography about?
HOLMES
Mr. Hughes, of course. It seems some guy named Irving sold

the rights to McGraw Hill. Mr. Hughes is furious. He says
he has to set the record straight the world must know
the real Howard Hughes

Well, that will be a change of pace . besides what’s the

problem . . . just call the publisher and tell them the
biography is unauthorized
HOLMES
I wish it was that easy. Hughes has become totally

preoccupied with this . God knows what’s going to
happen. I can’t believe this is happening.
RICHARDS
Please, John’, try to get some sleep. Things will look

better in the morning.
HOLMES
OK. You’re Probably risht. Let’s set some sleep. We both

could use some. (RI6Y~RDS starts to snore.) There’s
something missing . . . (Shifting in the meat, trying to Eat
oomfortahle) It’s like working on a puzzle without all the
pieces . It’s all too much . I’m too tense not
enough time (He finally falls tO sleep.)
LIGHTS TO DARK. The interior of the jet is removed.

The hotel suite is revealed. As HUGH~S travels, he goes to
different plaoes, but the hotel suites remain remarkably the
same.
END SCENE

LIGHTS UP in the Britannia Beach Hotel. ERIC and

GORDON are attending to some task. ERIC is up on a ladder.
GORDON
It’s amazing how all these hotel suites look alike--always

square and stark. Boy, I’m glad we got out of that Vegas
suite. After four years, that place was really falling
apart.
ERIC
This whole trip was frightening. The move we made seems

like a dream~ Where the hell are we aEain?
GORDON
You’re not dreamins, Eric baby. You’re in the sunny

Ca~ibbean in downtown Nassau.
ERIC
Gordo, are we in the United States?
GORDON
No, dummy. I think we’re in a British Commonwealth or maybe

an independent republic--something like that. Well, that’s
finished. How are you doinE Eric? Are you almost finished
up there? Need a hand?

~RIC
No thanks. Everything’s in place. Hey, Gordon, you need a

passport when you leave the country,right?
GORDON
Yeah, so?
ERIC
Well, I don’t have a passport. Do you?
GORDON
Come to think of it, mine is in m9 safe deposit box.
ERIC
And Gordon, we didn’t Eo through customs when

departed
GORDON
Or when we got here
[HOLMS and FRAN~OM enter the room.]
HOLMES
Everything OK, Gordon?

~ORDON
Just finishing up now, Mr. Holmes. Mr. Hughes is in the

bathroom.
HOLMEB
By himself! How long has he been in there, Gordon?
GORDON
(Looking at ~is watch.) It’s 10:27 now--18 minutes, sir.
ERIC
Excuse me, Mr. Holmes, but I just realized that I don’t have
a passport;, and I never held a workinE permit for the
Bahamas. I don’t know too much about immiEration laws
but
HOLMES
YOU are~not required to know too much of anything. All the

appropriate papers are heine processed and all the
technicalities will be handled.
ERIC
Certainly, Mr. Holmes. Everythin~ has happened so quickly.

(II~GHFS bellows from the bathroom, Got - . . don. Everyone
stops. GORDON suppresses a ~huokle and heads toward the
bathroom.)

TH~ ~AST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
(Off Stage) I sive up. Maybe later. I think those chicken

sandwiches may have bound me up. (He makes his way on sta~e
and notioes the people in his room.) Well what is this--a
party? What is soins on here, Holmes?
HOLMES
Just making sure everythins is in order, sir. Is there

anythins you would like attended to?
HUGHES
(He looks around. The set is identioal to his l~ms Vegas

suite. He notioes a spot near the window not covered bF a
oarpet. PofntinE %0 it.) G~% some insu~at~ion on %hat!~ib~r
over there!
ERIC
(Jumps to the task, glad to esoape out the door on the

mission of £etohinE some paper towels.) Right away,
Mr. Hughes, I’ll 6o Set the paper towels.
HU~HEE
Gordon, So heat up some chicken soup. That might get me

soinE! (GORDON is out the door) Where’s Jack Real?
FRANCOM
I haven’t seen him since we landed. Should I tr7

HUGHES
Never mind the commentary. Go find him and Eet him. in here.
(He waves his hand and F~OM is gone.) Well Holmes, what
disasters await us here in the sunny Bahamas?
HOLMES
(Hesitating) Well . . there are some bureaucratic

problems that may develop.
HUGHES
Suoh as?
HOLMES
Well you don’t have a uurrent passport,Mr. Hu~hes.

(No response from A~]~) Neither does mostof the crew.
Anyone holdinE valid passports left them in the United
States, also no one has work permits.
HUGHES
So . . . don’t worry about the Immigrationproblems

~ust make sure no one ~ets a job.
HOLMES
Everyone in the entourage already has a ~ob; they all work

for you. As a result, work permits are required.

All--To-des
S~HDIIH
S~qOH
¯Bm ~noqe Aqde=~oTq e a~T=m o~ mTq pazT=oq~ne

I IITH ~e=Do~ IIa~ o~ ~q~T= ou seq aH :pn~=~
SUT^al sTq % ~noq~ auop aq o~ s~q ~uTq%Bmo B "A~ o~ qsT~
Aue ~o
B~HDflI~
JACK REAL
(From outside the door over the interoom speaker.) It’s

Jack Real, sir.
HUGHES
Are you alone, Jackie?
Yes, sir, and I don’t believe anyone could have followed me

here because . ~
HUGHES
(~uzzinE him in over the elaboration.) Get in here, Real.

We have biE plans to make. I want moblility, (he olears off
a table for his strate~ board) I want flexibility and I
want efficiency. This is our playEround, Jackie. (He
displays a map.) How was the first trip? Any problems?
No problems, sir. With the equipment on hand, your travel

wishes are easily attainable. Are we EoinE somewhere else,
sir?
3 ACTS BY A,D. CAMERONE PG. 83

HUGHES
Not yet, Real. Not yet. None the less, I want you on
standby 2~ hours a day, 7 days a week. I want the
capability of being airborne at the drop of a hat. If yOu
have problems, see me personally. If you need anything,
just order it. You have full authorization. (He approaohes
to the door.) How was our trip here, Jackie--smooth? Our

trip here was smooth, eh, Jackie?
question. He
(Coaxing him tO re~>ond.) Huh?
Ye~, sir, smooth. (~on~ pause as R~ looks at ~GH~S and

he looks ba~k at him with an inoomprehensible smile.
Finally R~RL oan’t stand it ~o~ lon~er.) Mr. Hughes, is
there something I should know . . if there’s anything I
can do . maybe to make things easier you know I
would gladly
No, Jackie my boy, noooo. All you have to do is to be

ready. Just keep on doing what I tell you. I want to be
able to paok up this entourage at a moment’s notioe. I want
to be able to ~et around the hemisphere. You’re doing ~ust
fine. Just fine. Don’t try to think too muoh. I’ll be
3 ACTS BY A.D, CAMERONE PG. 8~

doing the thinking for everyone. Remember what I told you~

I want those orders followed explicitly. Now get out of
here. (As R~AL attempts to exit, AgilE8 oontinues with a
gentle playfulness--the running gag of giving additional
instruotions to his underlings after he has already
dismissed them.) Send in Holmes on your way out. (REAL
sooots out the door. HUGHES is elated, and he skips about
the room like a little boy who is playing a juvenile prank
on some unwary adult. He gives one skip before ooming to a
halt.) Nothing can stop me. I’ll fly here, and I’ll fly
there. (He’s at the map pointing as he ponders the expanse
of the map. He unoonsoiously presses the interoom button.)
Hello, Holmes are you there? Hello, Hughes here. Who’s
there?
(Through the ~teroom.) This is James Richards, sir.

Holmes is indisposed at the moment.
HU~HES
(Inareduloue) What! I want Holmes in here now. Who is

this?
RICHRRDS
James Richards, sir. Mr. Holmes has given me detailed

authorization to act in his stead. He said he’ll be ready
to meet with you in 5 hours if the medioine works. However,
right now he’s indisposed
HUGHES
(Busy playing with a map.) What are you talking about, man?
Who gave him authority to transfer authorization? I want
Holmes in here right now. Who is this?

It’s James Richards, sir. Holmes is very ill. He’s been

sitting in the bathroom since he left you.
HUGHES
Well, what the hell is wrong with him?
RICHARDS
He has the runs, sir.
He went for a run

head for this
Excuse me, sir . . . (trying to stop the mantinE HUGHES so

he uan further explain) Please, sir, if you would ~ust let
me explain No, sir, that’s not what’s happening
HUGHES
He’ll never work again. Jogging at a time like this. What

an irresponsible act. Has he lost his mind? Has he no
sense of

RICHARDS
(As loud as he can) Holmes is not ~ogging; he’s ill. He

has the runs. He has diarrhea, sir. The doctor said it may
be dysentery. Unfortunately, Mr. Holmes has not been able
to leave the bathroom. However he told me the medicine
should definitely work in five hours. He plans to meet with
you at that time.
HUGHES
Who is this?
RICHARDS
James Richa~’ds. (Exasperated he goes baak to his old

routine.) Holmes is ill. He’s indisposed at this time. He
has given me detailed authorization
HUGHES
(Over his frustrated enployee’s explanation.) Go find

Holmes, whoever the hell you are, and tell him I want to see
hi~ now! Then get your butt in here so I can see who the
hell you are! Hughes out.
RICHARDS
Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
The sta~e is set. Everything is going to be fine. All I

need now is for all the little pieces to fall into place.
It won’t be too long before the TWA case reaches the Supreme

THE ~AST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
Court. Those Justices will rule in my favor. That airline

was mine from the beginning. If I want to sell off the
stock for SA00 million, that’s my business! Let those
stockholders go to hell! If they want the rest of the
airline, they can have it for $200 million! I’ll be
vindicated by the Supreme Court. I’ll win and that will
give me the capitol I need. I’ll sell Hughes Tool Company
too . . . ~ust the oil drilling bit division and the name.
I’ll keep the rest of the operation for the defense
contracts. That bit division should bring at least
$150 million. I’ll have a bundle of cash. I’ll be
completely mobile. No one will be able to stop me. With
the added cash flow from my seven Las Vegas casinos, I’ll be
indestructible. No one, no government, no thing will be
able to restrict me. I’ll be free. I’II be free. (The
buzzer interrupt~ hi8 reverie.) Hughes, here.
RICHARDS
It’s Richards, sir. Holme~ is ~ust leaving thebathroom

now. He’e on his way to seeyou ~... .
Why aren’t you in here yet, man?
RICHARDS
Well, sir, I went to inform Holmes of your call; and he

insisted he would respond. So he told me to
HUGHES
Forget the trap. I want to see your face so i can figure

out who the hell you are~ Get the hell in here!

RIC}~%RDS
Yes, sir. (He exits the telephone room and runs to the
bedroom area.)
HUGHES
(The door buzzer soundz.) Who is it?
RICH~d~DS
It’s Riohards, sir.
HUGHES
(Buzzin~ him in) !t ~ookyou long enough. Remember, son,

do !what you told keep your mouth ~Shut, i!t’s the
person who gets the ~ob done with the least amount of
difficulty that succeeds today. Now, when I call you in,
expect you to come directly. Is there a problem with that?
(Startled that hiz opinion is important.) No, sir, of

course not, Mr. Hughes I fully agree
HUGHES
(Over him) Good . don’t forget. Don’t think too much;

just do what I tell you. (The buzzer sounds at the door.)
Get the door.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG, 89

RICHARDS
(Yrantioally trying to figure out bow the new entry system

works) (Apologetioa11F) I can’t seem to find the buzzer or
intercom (he’s wa!king around searohinE) .
[The buzzer sounds ~ain.]

~G~S
(Enjoyin~ the oat and mouse game) I said get the door, man!
(HUGHES finally points to the buzzer apparatus).
RICHARDS
(Relieved) Yes? Hello? Can I help you?
Is that you :Riohards? What the hell are you doing in there?
Where is Mr. Hughes? .
Let him in.
RICHARDS
(Over HOLPIES’S babble) Yes, sir. (He presses the buzzer.)
HOLMES
(Comes £1yin~ through the door) Whoooo

HU~HES
Close it on you way out, Richards. Remember what I told

you. (Waves RICI4RRDS out the door.) (Before HOLMS
uompose h~mself) Forget about any crap you have to offer as
an excuse, Holmes. Just don’t let it happen again.
HOLMES
(Relleved) Certainly, sir. What can I do for you,sir7
HOLMES
Cut the boot licking, Holmes. I’m pressed fortime. How

long before ~ou can arrange for a haircut for me?
Immediately,
sir, we have a barber on uall right now. He’s
HUGHES
Who is he ¯ hotel staff?
HOLMES
No sir, he’s
HUGHES
What the hell is he? A local?

THE lAST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
HOLMES
No, sir, he’s on our staff. You picked him out yourself.
HUGHES
I don’t remember authorizing a barber. You say he’s on

staff for how long?
HOLMES
Recently, sir. Just before we left for Las Vegas. You may
recall
(Reoallir~) ~ Right ~ : .... of oourse.~ha% Morm0n .-~:>,: ~ Mel.~

Stuart~ right? Well~:ge~ him in here: ~ "Send in G~~~onwi%h
this Mel the barber immediately. Send in the doctors too.
I want them to give Mel a physical before he cuts my hair.
Go on . get out.
HOLMES
(SliEh%ly oonfused and bein4~ attaoked by Montezuma’s

revenge) Yes, sir. I’ll send Gordon in with the barber and
doctors Ross, Myers, and Thompson. Shall I return also,
sir?
HUGHES
Not until you have that news conference coordinated.

HOLMES
News conference? I’ve called Roy Neal, and his staff is

arranging the particulars. Do you have any preference for
the format?
HUGHES
No, not really. Let Roy Neal handle the specifics.
HOLMES
Right, sir. When I spoke to Roy Neal, he said anything you

wanted was OK with him. Is there anything in particular
that I should let him know that you want?
HUGHES
Say nothing. Simply inform Neal I want tO talk. (Lon~

pause) Tell him to set up a telephone hookup . . I’ll
talk by telephone. Leave the rest to him. Now get out of
here. And don’t forget what I told you. You have your
orders.
HOLMES
Yes, sir. (He exits without complioation.) I’ll send

Gordon in with the doctors and the barber .
HUGHES
(Going to a door, he opens it revealing a full length

mirror. He is "a siEht to see". He is wearing a plain
white bathrobe. He opens the robe and lets it fall to the
Eround. Here is the imaEe of a skinny oJd man in drawstrin~
boxer shorts. HUGHES’S hair and beard are inordinately
lonE. He looks like a hermit.) I’m going to have to look

my best if I’m ~oins to start meetins with the world a~ain.

God, look at this mess. It seems like years since I last
had a haircut. A little lone in the beard too. I’m as
skinny as a rail. That’s all risht~ a haircut and a shave
is all I need. I’ll set a white shirt, some trousers and my
sneakers. Nice travellin~ sarb. [The buzzer eoundeo
AqIG~ES pioks up his robe and anewers the oall.] Is that
you, Gordon? Who’s with you?
GORDON
Yes, sir, I’m with Drs. Ross, Myers, and Thompson and Mel
Stuart, the barber.
HUGHES
Good. Come in. (He buzzes them in.)
[~uter the fire,staff members. ~T~is ~s a mameoooasion’and ~

the intensity is felt by the five emplo~ees, l
Well doctors have you examined %his man? (He points to the
barber.)
DR. ROSS
No, we haven’t.
DR. MYERS
I ~ust met the man.
DR. THOMPSON
We’ll be slad to give him a thorough examination.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 9a

TH~ ~AST DAYS OF HOWARD HUGHES
DR. ROSS
Mr. Hushes, here’s his file. I’m not sure what
HUGHES
You’ll be sure in a minute, doctor. (Seure%ly to GORDON. )

You’ve talked to this man, Gordon.
GORDON
I don’t know what you mean, sir?
Never mind. (To Mel) Come here. Do you know who I am?
Yes~ sir.
HUGHES
Do 7ou know what I want you to do?
Give you a haircut, sir?
3 ACTS BY A.D~ CAMERONE PG. 95

HUGHES
Yes and more. I want you to do what I say, do it when I say

it, and ask no questions. Do not think too much. Know what
I mean, Mel?
Not, exactly
(Doesn’t wait £om a response.) OK . . . now. These doctors

are going to give you a physical. The gooddoctors are
going to make sure you are in good health, Mel.
DR. ROSS
Mr. Hughes, Mel has already undergone a full physical

examination complete with blood tests before being placed on
the payroll two months ago.
HU~HES
Did you personally examine him, doctor?
DR. ROSS
No, but here’s his file. The examination was complete and
conducted by a competent colleague of mine. I’m sure

HUGHES
I want him fully examined, now! By all three of you. You

doctors like to confer. Have a conference on Mel. You can
do it’ right here.
DR. ROSS
Right here in front of you? This examination requires a

certain level of privacy.
HUGHES
You can go into the bathroom for privacy. Just do it and do

it now. You--have no objection do you, Mel?
No, sir. I guess . not.
Go on doctors. (The three reluetantly respond) Gordon,

let’s set up a barber shop right here. Position a chair by
that mirror. Get a table where Mel can work. Put
plenty of insulation down so you can catch the fallen hair.
(GORDOW is busy aooomp]ishinE his task.) (~R]GHES ambles
ever to the bathroom door.) Excuse me, doctor, I’d like a
word with you.
DR. THOMPSON
Yes, sir?

HUGHES
Are there any signs of communicable diseases?
DR. THOHPSON
No, Mr. Hu~hes, there are no apparent signs. I can assure

you, if anythin~ was wron@, the initial examination
HUGHES
Have him strip and complete your observation.
DR. THONPSON
Gordon, So and set that maniuure set you’ve been t~yin~ to

Ee% me 1o use for the last two years.
~N
(SufFiced) It’s riEh% here in the bathroom. I’ll set

as soon as they Eet out.
[TH~ THREE DOCTORS and MIgL emerEe from the bathroom.

slight disagreement is brewing. 2

DR. ~ERS
I told you . . . [They both look up to see GORDON and HUC41~S

starinE at them.] (To ~I~L) I’m sorry if the exam was
unpleasant. He’s fine, Mr. HuEhes. Here’s the latest
examination chart. (He hands him a piece of paper) Here’s
the preliminary report. (The DOCTOR offers HUGHES the
form.) (HUGHES waves both off.)
HUGHES
Thanks, doctors, that will be all. (THB D OCTOR~ try to exit

but only Eet as far as the door. They aan’t open it as it
is la~ked.) OK boys, here’s the task at hand. Gordon, I
want a full pedicure and manicure. Get everything you need.
(GORDON darts into the bathroom fOr the s~issors and
Mel, come and sit with me. Let me explain what I want from
you. (~L sits.) Have you been cutting hair long?
Seems like my entire life, sir. I’ve been licensed for

about 20 years.
HUGHES
Good, good. Now, listen carefully. (GORDON returns with

his scissors. He blends into the picture. GOP, DON is the
seasoned pro; ~L is the rookie.) This is exactly what I
want you to do, Mel. (HUGHES stands before the mirror as he
manipulates his lone strinE), hair.) I want all this cut
off. Cut it close cropped over the ears . not too
short in the back, but neat. Got that, Mel?
Yes close cropped . Neat, I know exactly

(Talking right over him) Now the beard. (He flops his long
beard up and down.) Definitely leave the mustache and
I always wanted a Van Dyke beard. How about it, Gordon?
How about a Van Dyke?
~ORDON
Sounds very distinguished.
HUSHES
Yes, a Van Dyke! How are you on Van Dyke’s, Mel?
I’ll sive you a sreat Van Dyke, Mr. Hushes.

sounds. 2
HOLNES
(Over the interoom) It’s John Holmes, sir. I was wonderins

if I could be of any assistance . .
HU~HES
Stay out of it, Holmes. You ~ust attend to the news

conferenoe. (To I~L and ~ORDON) Man has his nose in
everything. (Ba~k to the interoom) Just tend to your own
business and make sure I’m not disturbed. Hushes out. (He
looks up to see the dootor~ etanding at the door. To the
dootor~o) Are you still here? Get out. (He buzzes the
door, the three do~tor~ exit.) (Tak~n~ ~s plaoe on t~e
throne) OK, ~entlemen, you have your orders. Let’s Eet
this ~ob done¯

Both men get to work. GORDON ham met up various

oontraptions so all of HU~H~S’S appendages are soaking
simultaneously. MIlL begins by outtin~ large ~hunkm of hair
off HUGHES’S head. Both prooeed effioiently and silently
with the task.]
(After muoh of the job is done.) The nerve of this Irving

clown . . Trying to write a biography on me . who does
he think he is.
[GORDON and #I~L alternately shake their heads as they

listen.]
HUGHES
How the hell does M~Graw Hill ru~i!t~r 5Usiness?i ....

Authorized biography! I never talked to him~ Those idiots!
Well, I’ll set thin~s straight with this press conference!
You’ve heardabout the telephone interview, Mel?
GORDON
No, sir.
HUGHES
Good, it’s top seater. From my lips to God’s ear.
(Patronizing HUGHES) I’m sure he’s listening, sir.

"harumpbs" and oontinues. )
HUGHES
Ahem! Yes, the world knows more than enough about Howard
Robard Hughes. There are enough biographies already
collecting dust on the shelves. You want to know about
Howard R. Hughes, then look up the old newspapers. There’s
the man. (To M EL) How’s things going back there? Fetch a
mirror and let’s have a look. (I~KL does so.) Good
good. How’s the feet, Gordon?
GORDON
I’ve clipped the nails, Mr. Hughes. But I still think you
should see a~podiatris%.
HUGHES
I’ll note that, Gordon. (As he l~ks at hie feet) You make
a Rood point.
(Finishes the hairout and has the mirror in hand as he pans

Hu~bes’s head.) How’s that, sir?
HUGHES
Not bad. Now, the Van Dyke.

MEL
(He begins to out the beard as GORDOH starts his olean up.)
Yes, sir.
HUGHES
(Stopping 2~IL for a seoond.) Gordon, there’s a list of

clothes on the table . . . there (he points.) Pick them up
and brine them to me right away.
GORDON
Yes, sir. I’ii buy a dozen of eaoh, sir.
HUGHEg
That’s a thought .---- Yes, do just that; buy a dozen of

eaoh. (He notions for~L to resume. The beard is out in
silenoeo)
finishes and BWMS stands before the mirror as a new
HUGHES
That’s ~ust fine, Mel. Now oolleot everything here. (He

points tO the hair On the floor.) Put it in that box; take
it out, burn it, and bring the ashes baok to me.
(Looks inoredulous.) Yes sir.

(Familiar with the task) Here, let me help you. (Both men
collect the waste.) [After the pickup, GOI~DON eort of
pushes a chocked ~L out of the door with him) I’ll be back
with the clothes as soon as I can, sir.
HUGHES
OK, Gordon. (LauEhing at ~L) You’re a good man, Gordon, a

good man. You check the ashes. Don’t bother to bring them
back to me. Tell Holmes that I don’t want to be disturbed
for three hours. (~I~L and ~ORDONexit.)
END SCENE 3
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG.

HOLNES
Gentlemen, it’s taken entirely too long to assemble
RIC~ARDS
The set up here is absolutely impossible
FRANCOM
Everything is goin~ to be a problem here
WALDRON
We have a risht to ask what’s goin~ on. We all have

families. My wife is probably frantic. You’ve ~ot to be
reasonable
HOLMES
Your points are well made, and all of them are @oin@ to be
attended to in due time. Now, let’s settle down and try to
get through this. (He ]ooks at the a~enda.) OK, let’s
forEet about the drill. I’m Elad to see that you are all
here. ConEratulations on the move. Everyone performed
their ~obs well and the team effort got us through. Be
advised that suoh travel plans are no lon~er to be
considered extraordinary. (Ever,Fbody Eroans.)

~ALDRON
John, this makes no sense at all. Are you saying you expect
us to be able to pack up everything and move to a different
country at a moment’s notice without informing our families?
groan.)
HOLMES
It’s not going to be that bad, Chuck. Just pretend you are
in the Army and our unit is mobile . . . you know like those
mash units . . . from now on we have the capacity to "bug
out". The capacity to move your unit at short notice.
WALDRON
John, you have to let us call our families to explain that

we are OK .
ChOck, before we left the States, we made such arrangements.

Messages to that effect were sent to our families as soon as
we arrived in Nassau. Our families have been notified that
all is well.
WALDRON
That’s what you’ve been telling us, John. But I’m sure our
families would like to hear from us personally.

For now that’s just not possible, Chuck. However, I have

noted your request. It’s listed somewhere. I plan to bring
this matter to Mr. Hughes’s attention. (He looks over a
list on apieee of paper.) You are going to have to trust
me on this one, gentlemen. Anyway, please settle down.
Your anarchy does nothing to help us accomplish the tasks at
hand. (All three swallow HOLMES’S pep talk and sit ~P
straight.) At present all staff will utilize the services
of this hotel. Everything is to be put on one gigantic tab.
Feel free to sign for anything you need. Soon, depending
on our length of stay, we will arrange for supplies to be
delivered. Now to the new top priority. Shortly, as soon
as five hours from now, Mr. Hughes will be participating in
a telephone interview with several radio news reporters.
(~veryone begins to mumble.) As such, we will need your
full cooperation as we coordinate this media event.
John, you’re kidding right? We moved to the Bahamas so we

could do a radio interview? This is absurd! Mr. Hughes
doesn’t talk’to the press he doesn’t talk to anybody.
HOLt.S
Gentlemen, please we have to arrange for a phone hookups and

other technical absurdities. Also I’m not sure if
Mr. Hushes plans to utilize the staff for speech writing
and general strategy.
RICHARDS
That’s no problem, John. I have several files filled with

our party line philosophy ready for press time. I don’t
mind dealing with the press. It shouldn’t take long to put
a nice little package together.
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PC.107

Good strategy, James. Get the job done as fast as possible

because we may need the information. Let’s move on . . ¯
Francom, the telephone people assured me that there should
be no problem with the satellite transmission. Stay right
on top of them. I spoke to Roy Neal, and he’s ready. Once
he gets authorization from the networks in Florida, we’ll be
ready to broadoast at our convenience. I know this sounds
fantastic, ~entlemen. Despite that, if we concentrate on
the task at hand and forget about the extraneous factors, we
can conduct this interview in a professional manner. In
fact, no less will do. So let’s get on with the show .
(LIGHTS TO DARE.)
END SCENE
3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG.108

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THE LAST DAYS OF

Howard Robard Hughes lived momt of him life in the

As time passed, the publicity-minded Hughes became

During the same time period, and over the objections of

During the litigation, several attempts were made by

As a solution to this dilemma, Howard Hu~hes gathered a

In 1970, Hughes became immune from any legal

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE

Durin@ his travels, Hu@hes devised a money launderin@

In 1973, Hughes was in Vancouver when he heard the news

Unfortunately, Nughes’s luck turned bad. Before he

The entourage travelled back to the Bahamas and then

Finally, believing all was lost, Hughes injected

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE

Howard Hughes lived the last days of his life in a

All legends are the result of the merger of fiction and

This play is about those last secret filled days of

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE

The set design divides the stage into three distinct

~pstaGe right There is a two-story cubicle that houses

2. Center sta~e - There is HuGhes’s private bedroom.

Downsta~e - There is the elevator area at the Desert Inn

When the private jet is used to transport the HuGhes

In this manner, the executive office/telephone room

Each area can be lighted independently. For example,

The time and place are un-localized. The various hotel

The Last Days of Howard HuGhes deals with theatrical

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE

(In Order of Appearance)

ERIC, telephone room manager to Hu~hes

GORDON, personal aide to Hu@hes

JOHN HOLF~ES, chief senior staff aide to Hu~hes

LEVA/~ MYLER, senior sta£f aide to Hu@hea

~R~E F~UO~, senior staf~ aide to Hughes

HOW~ ~RSLEY, senior sta~ ~ide to

CHUCK W~DRON, senior staff aide to Hu~hes

O~S RIC~DS, senior staf~ aide to Hu~hes

~L BTEW~T~ barber to Huuhes

DR. ROSS, dootor to Hu~hes

DR. ~ERB, doctor to

DR. THOMSON, doctor to Hu~hes

JACK RE~, personal pilot to Hu~es

GENE~ LUIS SOMOZA, Diotator o~ Nioara~a

TEL~PHO~ ROOM PERSO~L; SE~RITY ~S; PILOTS

Non-appearin~ oharaoters on audio tape:

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAHERONE

The scene opens with two men workin@ in the basement

The workers are dressed in clean white overalls. Oddly

As the men complete their task, they talk distractedly.

(As he places the respective boxes in the elevator.) Who

(H~RRY works nonohalantly and silently. HARRY does

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 1

(As he turns to his boss.) We’re going to have to make two

(Explicitly) Just put the boxes on the elevator.

C’mon, Harry, where’s this stuff going?

(Pointing) It’s going on that elevator. (JOE pivots and

Then I am going to press that intercom button and say,

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAMERONE PG. 2

Yeah, great, but what’s Floor X? Aren’t you curious? Don’t

Who cares what Floor X is? I don’t and besides . (HARRY

[LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.~

3 ACTS BY A.D. CAHERONE PG. 3

In the Dark, the sound o£ an elevator rising is heard.

The ~men in white unload the elevator quietly,